the bossbabe podcast - 32. The Mindset Episode: How to Live Your Purpose and Use Success & Soul to Create More Income and a Bigger Impact

Episode Date: September 4, 2019

In this incredible episode, Co-Founder Natalie Ellis is joined by success coach, entrepreneur and leader in the coaching and consciousness industry, Alyssa Nobriga. Alyssa specializes in Mind-Body Psychotherapy and holds a master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology, with an emphasis on Consciousness, Health and Healing. Natalie and Alyssa dive deep into transformational work, money blocks, how to work through your inner critic and imposter syndrome. If you want to learn all about emotional mastery, authentic confidence and breaking through massive resistance, then the value that you will take away from this episode is absolute gold. Together they share insights into mindset development, the power of having a like-minded community around you, how to live your purpose by doing what energizes you and they explore the process around getting unstuck so that you can up-level while scaling your business and achieving a level of joy and self-mastery. Get your ticket for the Success & Soul Live Event in Los Angeles: http://bit.ly/2lqGIbv Apply to secure your place in the incredible Success & Soul Leadership Program: https://www.alyssanobriga.com/success-soul-application/

Business is one leg of personal development if you want to use it that way. If you're not feeling confident then how do you secure the insecurity? How do you be with that part of you so you don't identify with it and you don't let it run your business. You don't have so many unconscious buy-ins to just believe everything you think and that's the path towards authentic confidence. Welcome to the Boss Babe podcast, a place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of building successful businesses, achieving peak performance and learning how to balance it all. I'm Natalie Ellis, co-founder of Boss Babe and your host for this week's episode. So this week, I'm really excited because I'm bringing my friend Alyssa Nobriga on the show and we're going to dive deep into transformational work, money blocks, and how to work through an inner critic. So I don't know

about you, but I really do often have this inner critic in my head, whether it's feeling like an imposter or I'm just not able to do something because I've not done it before whatever it is there's just some times where your mind tells you that you're not good enough and so I really want to open up and have that conversation Alyssa is an entrepreneur and a leader in the coaching and consciousness industry she specializes in mind body psychotherapy and holds a second master's degree in spiritual psychology with an emphasis on consciousness health and healing she's a graduate of Byron Katie's school for the work is certified as a success coach and has extensive training in imago couples therapy as well as an

advanced certification from the Hikomi institute in mindfulness-based therapeutic practice so you know that she's coming from a place of knowing her stuff she has seen this she's been working with clients for so long whatever I'm bringing to the table she has heard a million times before I'm sure and if you didn't already know Danielle and I are teaming up with Alyssa to bring you a two-day live event in Los Angeles in September day two tickets are already sold out they sold out right away but we do still have some left for day one so if you'd love to join us for a life-changing experience and it really is going to be that the link is below in the show notes we're coming together to each bring our own expertise to the table to bring you deep transformation paired with the sales and strategy you need to really take your career or your

business to the next level so with that being said you are going to get so much out of this podcast and I know you're going to finish it feeling like you've just gained a whole new perspective on what it really means to have authentic confidence plus the tools to actually be able to go in and get it so as always screenshot yourself listening to this podcast and share it on your stories with your biggest takeaway tag me at I am Natalie at bossbabe.inc and at Alyssa Nobriga and we'll be sharing them on Instagram and just love to see what really resonates with you. So let's dive in and welcome Alyssa to the show. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise,

keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself. Confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. Welcome to the podcast of the time. So excited to have you here. It's just going to be an amazing excuse for a great conversation. I love you. Welcome. Thank you. So happy to be here with you guys. I would love to dive in and just give the audience a bit of a background on you and how you even got started on what you do and how long you've been doing it because you are absolutely incredible. Thank you. So it's one of those rare cases that knew I wanted to do transformational work actually since I was 12. So when I was 12, I wanted to live in the Redwoods and do

healing work, but I also wanted to live in New York City and have martinis and wear stilettos and do marketing. So I never questioned those two parts of me. And somehow it's kind of worked out to my modern day world right now. And so back in the day, nobody talked about coaching. They talked about psychotherapy and healing work. So I dove into my licensure, getting licensed as a psychotherapist. And then I hired a coach and I'm like, oh, this is a practical way to bring

all of my business training and transformational work together. And so some of the work that I'm doing now is really about helping women get clear on what it is they want to create. And as they take steps towards creating it, all those unconscious blocks that have held them back come up. And most women think either they let the blocks hold them back or they think this is bad, but it's really just building blocks to help them go to their next level of mastery if they know how to use those and have the tools to move through it. And so part of the work that I do is helping them move through the mental emotional blocks so that they can feel really aligned and create the success that they want to create in a more graceful and elegant way rather than needing to push harder or burn out in the process.

It's so funny because your story sounds similar to mine in that I knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur at 13. And it's just really funny how you just know that from a young age. You're like, yep, this is my path. I'm on it. But it's not always that easy for other people. So how is it that you work with women on finding their purpose? Well, I thought, you know, a lot of the times when people say that I don't know what I want, I push back. I think that they do know what they want deep down. There may be a fear that clouds that awareness where they don't think they can make money

at it or they won't be good at it or their family will judge them. But deep down, I often find that people do know what they want. And if somebody is really stuck in this moment saying, okay, Alyssa, I hear you saying that and I don't have any clarity, what I'll have them do is something I created called a joy journal,

which is just every night writing one to three things that brought them the most joy and aliveness. And over time, you'll start seeing themes. And those themes will, you can create a career around that. So for example, gosh, I was maybe in my early 20s and I had just graduated college. I didn't know what I wanted to do besides getting licensed, meaning I wanted to work along getting my master's degree.

And so I started writing down, I was living in Bali at the time. I was like, I absolutely love Bali. I absolutely love transformational work. I love bringing people together in community. And so realizing that, oh, I could just make a career out of doing wellness retreats to Bali, transformational retreats. But I find that people, once you start taking this list down, you'll start seeing what you

actually value. And you can collect those values and then design your life to work backwards. So people that are unhappy in their current career, oftentimes I'll invite them to find what their top five values are and then start bringing those values into their job while they're looking for something else that's more aligned.

So for example, my top five values are connection, truth, service, love, and growth. And so I make sure that I have those values expressed in all areas of my life. So fitness, I do group fitness because I love community. I will have a service component to my business. I make sure to have connection. I remember my first online course, I went really entrepreneurial and had products and started scaling and my business was doubling,

but I wasn't as fulfilled. And I realized that I'm at heart. I love watching people's transformation. I love deep dives. I love connecting. And so I started doing masterminds again, not just selling products. And that fulfilled me in a way that even though I was in the same career, that was knowing my five values gave me a North star to stay aligned and on purpose. I love that. And it's like you say, it's not just always about the money and the scaling. It's what brings you joy and what you want to spend your time doing every day. 100%. So when you talk about you help women discover their purpose,

and then they start working and all of their unconscious blocks are holding them back. I feel like we've got women listening to this podcast who are like, Alyssa, the thing that's holding me back is I'm not making sales. So I need to figure this out. I don't have blocks. I'm good. I read all the books. I do my journaling.

So what are the unconscious blocks that you think women do come up against? And what would you say to that person who thinks they don't have any? Yeah, that's great. So sometimes when we don't think we have any, it's like, have you ever had the experience of letting something go or like the refrigerator turning off and you didn't even know it was on? Like there's something that happens in our life where we have, we let something go and we didn't even realize we were holding it. That's often what happens with people that don't realize there's like a low grade numbing that happens that weighs us down because we all have, we all have something that's unconsciously holding us down. And there's greater, greater levels of freedom when we

actually investigate what's unconscious. So some of the common ones that I find people specifically women play out are people pleasing, perfectionism, self doubt, inner critic, and then at the heart of all of those is not feeling good enough. And the not feeling good enough could, you know, sometimes even just stress is a form of fear. There's a form, it's like a low grade operating system that has anxiety or worry running in the, in the background of this operating system. And so without all of that, we're actually more present, enjoying our lives and ironically more productive. And so those blocks in my experience, they're not bad. Like blocks aren't in the way, they are the way if we know how to use them. And it's like, as we grow some of those patterns, for example, like perfectionism, if you're triple checking things, as you're growing your team or

your leadership, those things are going to, you're going to take them with you unless you do some of this deeper work. So I had a woman, there's something that I call competing intention. So I had a woman that came to see me and she wanted to double her income. And she was telling me that she'd been working with other coaches. She couldn't get to it. And she kept plateauing at a certain level. And I asked her, what is one fear you have of making more money? And she's like, I have no fears of making more money. What are you talking about? I was like, okay, slow it down. Get mindful with me. If I make more money, I fear. She's like, oh, when my mom got a promotion, my parents got a divorce.

She unconsciously paired that if she were more successful in her career, she wouldn't have a strong marriage. And so this is about slowing down. If we want to go faster, slow down. Some of the inner work is, it's not about pushing harder. It's about getting out of our own way. And we have our own answers. And sometimes we just need to listen to where those blocks are so we can be conscious and remove them.

So for her, once she unlocked this, she was able to easily come up with the strategy to double her income and actually execute on it while maintaining her marriage and be mindful about implementing time with her husband and not just letting the career take off. And so does the transformation come from just identifying what that belief might be or is there other stuff you have to do around that? Yeah, sometimes it's just that awareness can break it and then they can be proactive with saying, okay, these are two things that I value. And I'm going to make sure that that's in my day to day that I'm nurturing those. Other times, there's deeper hooks. A lot of the stuff that I see with women, of course, I'm a licensed psychotherapist, I don't use that anymore. But a lot of this programming, the operating systems are in place by six years

old. And so we have to look at if we've been operating our entire life since then with this unconscious misunderstanding, then sometimes it takes a little bit more time to chip it away. It doesn't have to take a long time. But yes, there's some deeper work to do with it. And it's not deeper in the sense, it's more like mindset work similar to what we're talking about here. And so what would that transformational work look like? So for someone like me, I definitely relate to having an inner critic, like crazy. And so what would that work look like? So for the inner critic, that would be a little bit different. So I've got different tools for different blocks. The inner critic, in my experience, is simply looking for compassion. That's the way out. And the cool thing about the critic is that it was, we're not born critical. We learned that therefore we can unlearn it.

And so for me, I like to find out what is the critic? What's the unconscious? How is it trying to serve you? So the critic, it's like, okay, if the critic were here to try to help me, then sometimes it's like, oh, I'm critical with myself so that then I'm better. We unconsciously think if I judge myself, it'll motivate me to improve. But let's take a look. Is that actually working? Yes or no? And then we can find out. And is there a way to actually be compassionate with myself and let myself grow? And none of this, I don't like to tell people what to do. It's more about testing out for themselves what actually works. So with the critic, if it's been a really deeply embedded habit, then it could take a little bit of repatterning of that. So having a nightly practice of being

compassionate with yourself. And I would say even compassionate with the critic, finding out first, how is it trying to serve me? It's like, oh, it wants me to do my best. Cool. Me too. I want to do my best. Is the way that I'm criticizing me actually helping me do my best? No, it's paralyzing me. Okay. So how could I do my best and be kind with myself? What's one simple thing that I can try out? Well, I could be, when I notice it, I can thank the part of me that's trying to have me do my best and tell the critic that I'm going to test out a new way for one week and see if it actually works better that way. Am I happier? And am I more productive if I'm compassionate with that critic? I love that. And I found that kind of dialogue with myself to be a really powerful tool. And you're so good at that. I've definitely learned

a lot of that from you. You're so good at getting really compassionate with yourself. Where did that come from? So I am a graduate of the university of Santa Monica. It's a master's program in spiritual psychology. And then I worked on faculty there and they have a process that I really love called compassionate self-forgiveness. And I essentially, it goes, I forgive myself for judging myself as, and then whatever the judgment is, or I forgive myself for buying into misunderstanding. And then the the judgment is, or I forgive myself for buying into the misunderstanding. And then the truth is, and you state what's actually true. It's like, I forgive myself for judging the critic as bad. The truth is it was just trying to motivate me to do my best and criticizing the critic isn't going to help me. It's just

going to take me further into the criticism. It's going to deepen that pattern. So that's one simple process that I found really powerful in that program. But I think just finding also the positive intention inside of it, how is it trying to support me, and then testing out and experimenting with a new way to move forward, and see what actually is more effective. I love that so much. I feel like a lot of women listening are just like, I can definitely do that because I feel like as ambitious women, sometimes we come with a lot of that inner critic as well as the money blocks and all of these things that we just don't even realize are standing invisibly right in front of us and we need to find a way over them or through them. Yeah. And it's so innocent. You

think of like a little child, like a little girl learning to ride her bike. And if she falls over and you judge her, that's going to stunt her growth. And so the critical mind is just a thought pattern. It's a habit. It's not who you are. It's just conditioning. It's programming. It's not personal. And so if you can see that as a voice in your head, it's not you. And every day you have an intention or a check-in about being compassionate with yourself. You're developing new neural nets. You're developing a new way of being with yourself. And ironically, you start learning to ride your bike faster and you're enjoying it in the process. So I think some of this is just about having a

compassionate lens because oftentimes we, whatever we judge, we're stuck with. Even if the acceptance is, I accept that I'm judging myself right now. You're out of that dualistic right-wrong programming, the good, bad, right-wrong. As soon as you're like, I'm supposed to be judging myself. You just laugh about it. It doesn't have to be hard and it doesn't have to take a long time, but it does take awareness training. It's kind of like going to the mindset gym, right? You do some of this inner work. And I find that women do really well when they have community, when they change and they evolve together. You think of men or little boys, and they're usually like playing some type of physical game with one other boy. Whereas

little girls on a playground, this is very generalized, but little girls oftentimes will be in circle and drinking tea, pretend tea, but they're talking. They're not necessarily doing. And so I've found that in business, women tend to look unconsciously, look for permission, look for other women. And if there's a community that's created to support them and really rising and up-leveling and they're doing their own work and they're seeing other women really go for it, they evolve each other much more rapidly. I can't agree with you more. I think let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it

makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash boss babe.

But just on that, my life has changed dramatically since I leaned into finding a circle who are like me, who support each other, who have the same values. It's been amazing. And sometimes I think the online world is amazing, but it can disconnect us. It can make us feel like if we're not on our laptops or our phones, we're not working hard enough or we're not hustling enough. And just spending time with other women around you is so powerful. Yeah. It feels good. And ironically, our businesses do better as a result. It's a win-win.

Yeah. It's so true. And I love what you said about like a little girl falls off her bike. You're not going to be like, oh my God, you're so silly. Why did you do that? You'll be like, you're fine. Get back. But then if we do it, we're like, Oh, I can't believe you did that. Yeah. Well, one of the, one of the favorite sayings from you is like killing it. Like I also, like it, it actually started just being around you and you're like, we're killing it or I got this, you know? And I'm like, Oh, that's such beautiful self-talk. And it was contagious for me. I started taking on your mantra. I was like, I love this. And it elevated me just by watching you and being with you. So I think as women, we're also watcher doers. Like if we see somebody, then we can kind of model them in a way, both with the inner and

outer work. So you've been such a beautiful influence for me around that and like changing my dialogue. So I don't even know if you're aware of that, but I appreciate it. Oh, I'm so glad. Yeah. Yeah. I, for everyone listening, I say it all the time. I'm like, this is epic. We're killing it. Yeah. My God, we're killing it. It's so easy all the time. And all of a sudden it just becomes easy. Like when we were just talking before this about having a podcasting day and you were like, how is it? I'm like, it's easy. It's so easy. Like when we were just talking before this about having a podcasting day and you were like, how is it? I'm like, it's easy. It's so easy. And we get to decide, obviously it's got to be something you like, but it's the dialogue you have with yourself.

So let's jump back to the money block. Cause you were saying there's different ways you work with women, depending on what the block is, you have all of these different tools. So say someone is listening and they're, they found themselves just hit, they've hit a full like ceiling of money. And they're like, you know what, I'm not making any more money. I'm trying all the things I'm like pushing so hard. I'm doing all of the Instagram marketing and Facebook ads, but nothing's happening. Where would you start with them? Is it identifying what they're scared of? You know, it's so intuitive for me, but like with that kind of a presenting story, I would wonder where they're doing it from and why they're doing it. So like you're talking about doing a podcast

day and you're energized by it. So you could be doing the same amount of work, but something that doesn't energize you. And so if you're doing things that you don't enjoy, I'm wondering why, like what's the motivating force? Because there's ways to do, and you can always reach your income goals if you are creative enough to offer value in the world, doing what you love. And so if you are loving it, you're going to get fed by it, right? And you can learn to hire a team and delegate and be strategic with your marketing and make sure that you're set up to win. But with somebody that's just pushing hard and burning out, and it's not bringing for the majority of it, right? Because sometimes there are little things that we do in our business,

and it's not always, but I would say 80%. If your business isn't 80% around that, like, then I would be looking at what is the operating system? Why are you doing it? Is it you're hustling for worth? No judgment on any of the things that we find. Again, if we judge it, we're stuck with it. It's just about being compassionate and then really helping them find their inherent worth and value. And one of the things I love about money is that it's directly related to worth. And so as we change our story around who we are and how worthy we are or not, it affects every other area of our life. My two specialties are around relationships and money around this mindset work. And so the beautiful thing is as you do it around one area, it naturally starts to enhance

another area of your life. So maybe you do it around money and you ask for a raise or you go for that leadership position because you start waking up to your inherent value or you're more courageous to put your work out there, right? And then around relationships, you date a different type of partner and you don't put up with something that you were settling with. But it doesn't come from like a strategy. It comes from your authentic truth, something that's more grounded and integrated and not

with a lot of againstness. So I would say that some of the deeper work, and we're going to get to this, I know we have an event coming up September 7th, where we're going to do a lot of experiential work around money so that the women can really get free and own their inherent worth and value, but also go further and have it be easier in their businesses as a result. I love that. Yeah, let's drop in and talk about the event. I'm so excited. So for those of you who don't know, Danielle and I are pairing up with Alyssa and we're launching an event and it's going to be a two-day event in LA. We've already sold out of day two, which is incredible, but we do have tickets left for day one. I'll put the link in the show notes below. I really recommend flying in for it. Honestly, it's going to be such an incredible

event. I'm really excited to get up there and talk about sales and marketing. And I love that you're coming in Alyssa to do this deeper work as well, because I think you can't have one without the other. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's much harder. And I think in the long run, doing some of that deeper work sets you for a solid foundation to really grow and enjoy the growth process along the way so yeah I'm so excited because I feel like you've really nailed marketing and growth and Danielle with systems and team and then me bringing in the transformation it feels like a trifecta of really just bringing women the best of different resources so that they can scale and really do the work that they're called to do in a more effortless and graceful way. Yeah, I agree. And we've got a little announcement coming soon,

which we'll park for just a little bit, but around that trifecta of bringing women all the best resources, what can they expect from you in the event? What's this work going to look like? Yeah, so we're going to dive into really helping women get clear on what is the calling of what's calling them forward next in their business. And so helping them get really clear on what that is and then move, actually experientially walk away, having moved through a block. So everybody is going to walk away with transformation. So this isn't just like talking at you, but you're going to dive in and actually get free and feel lighter as a result. So we're going to support you in moving through the blocks that have held you back. We're also going to dive into money mindset,

because I think that's one of the most important things and support you in really networking and connecting with other women, building tribe and sisterhood and feeling inspired, diving into some of the sales stuff that you guys are bringing as well as systems and team and hiring and just seeing that it's possible for you, all the things that you need. And then on Sunday, we're going to dive into sales. And I find a lot of women don't like selling, right? Because they've got a lot of misunderstandings about what it means to sell and they get in their own way and they can do really beautiful work. But if you have any judgments about sales, it's going to hold you back. So day two is, it's super uplifting.

And we're going to dive into like business strategy as well as transformational work pretty much throughout the whole weekend. So it's keeping it fresh and light and diverse throughout the whole weekend. So solo processes, partner processes, dancing, training, all the best. I love it.

Yeah. And we've got some amazing surprises as well for everyone coming. And it's so important to be doing this. And for me, I know when I started scaling my business and it started growing really, really fast, I never had a business coach until I had like a multi seven figure business. I was just testing and seeing what happened. And when I started scaling, I wasn't thinking I need a coach to help me stabilize this. I was thinking I need a therapist to help me work through this. Because you can imagine everything that could have possibly came up when I was scaling. And why is that? I think business is one leg of personal

development if you want to use it that way. I think anytime we're courageous in our businesses or in our lives to go to the next level, all of those unconscious blocks come up because I think that's part of what makes us grow. Some of these ineffective ways that we've learned and misunderstandings that we've bought into, just you can't take them with you to the next level. And so I think anybody who's willing to do the mindset work is not only going to enjoy the road, but also have tools to really hack life and enjoy it in all areas. So whether it be personally or professionally, that's the cool thing about this work. It's like you do it at the root within you, and then it affects every other area of your life. So I came from the therapy background.

I did the exact opposite of you. I did all the training and therapy and licensing, and then I moved. And for me, when I hired a coach, I did a mastermind group and that changed my business. That's because I had all the skills to help people change their life, but I was unconsciously hiding. I was thinking like, I'm not ready yet, or who am I to do these things? And so when I joined a mastermind group, that's when everything changed for me. And just to give people an image of where I was. So a few years prior to that, I was putting myself through grad school. I was living off $16,000 in Santa Monica. So that's a lot of power bars just to give people a reference point. And is that a year? Yeah. 16,000 a year. Yeah. And I was putting myself through graduate school, sharing a futon

with my girl, my best friend at the time. And I love that I'm able to be resourceful. And I didn't want to live that way anymore. So I invested what seemed like a lot of money. It was, but it was a huge amount of money for me into a six month mastermind program. And I ended up making $100,000 in two weeks. And it was because I did the mindset work and I learned the business strategies to complement the transformational work that I'd already had mastery in. So for me, that was the trifecta. That's what I had as a missing piece. That's why I love coaching. It changed my life. That's why I love bringing these pieces of personal and professional transformation together, you know, the success and the soul together so that people can feel a sense of not like an inherent worth and value independent of

how your business is doing, because you're going to need to have that because sometimes your business is high. And sometimes it's going through lows, and you need to adjust. But if your self worth and if your mindset isn't on this roller coaster of that ups and down, then you're going to be able to not only feel better, but be more strategic and course correct and enjoy the process of entrepreneurship. I love that. And it's, I love how similar and also different our stories are because I was the opposite in that I had this business that was generating like seven figures and I was burned out. I was stressed. I constantly kept finding myself with like imposter syndrome or when my business was having like a slow day, like I would feel differently about myself. I was finding myself

just really stressed and it was like bleeding into my relationship in that I wasn't spending quality time with Steven. I was like just having so much on my plate and not being able to fully give myself to whatever I was doing. And then the second I started doing the mindset work and the other work, everything else changed for me. And again, it was like one of those two weak things. It was very, very fast. I got to look at things in a totally different way. And just having that, I realized I was trying, it was like a two-legged stool instead of a three. I was like, ah, this, this isn't working. And I'm having to throw so much else in to just, just stay afloat and hold it together. Yeah. And that's not stable, right? So like that,

that trifecta, those three legs is what I have found to be the most stable foundation for our lives and our businesses. So I love that we came at this from totally opposite directions, but found the same truth. That's amazing. Yeah. And then Danielle came in and she was like, Hey, I got this systems thing. This ops part of the business is really easy. This is what it would look like to hire a team and like, put it all together. And so it's, we're coming together as like such a good team. So on that, we could probably tell everyone. So you're hearing it here first. We've all decided to come together and create a six month leadership program together, encompass've all decided to come together and create a six-month leadership program together, encompassing all of this that we're talking about. And the reason was we've all

had our programs separately. Danielle and I had the Boss Babe Mastermind, which we loved. But what we were finding was we were helping women scale significantly in three months. We've seen women go from six figures to seven figures in three months, like very, very quick putting in place all of the marketing part and the systems. But what happens is when you scale that fast, a lot of other blocks come up and we're not therapists, we're not coaches in that sense. And we just felt like we were almost doing a disservice with not being able to support even further beyond that. And so it was just like an exploratory conversation that Alyssa and I had in the back of a car when we were visiting Colorado. Yeah. And you were like, and I was saying, I don't love running a team. The marketing is okay, but I really love the transformational work and helping women change their lives from the inside

out and really, you know, doing this deeper work. You're like, oh, that's exactly what we need. And I was like, well, I don't want to run the team. And so it came together in the most organic, beautiful, synchronistic way. I feel so honored and grateful and excited to open doors to support women through a six month journey of really stepping into themselves in a fuller way to feel more confident, but also to help service providers create more clients and grow in a graceful way, but laying the foundation for the rest of their lives. Yeah, it's going to be incredible. And I get to teach the sales, the marketing, Danielle is going to come in and teach systems, hiring,

and Alyssa, you're going to be supporting the whole time with this deeper transformational work. And I feel like six months is a much better time to really work with someone in a way that is going to have such a massive, well, it's going to be life changing. It's not just a small transformation, like building an incredibly successful business whilst working on yourself is going to change every area of your life and take you to levels you've just never even imagined. Yeah. I mean, the girls from the programs that I've done with six months, like they're best friends. They've got community for the rest of their life and they have these life hack tools where they can go back to making sure that they stay mentally and emotionally clear so that they can be strategic and clear and focused rather than taking on too many things

or getting lost in some of these blocks. So I feel so honored and so excited and yeah, like over the moon. I can't wait. It's going to be incredible. And it goes back to what you were saying earlier about community as well. And I feel, I don't know what the science is behind this, but I feel like when you go through a really transformational experience together, that forms such a deeper relationship with those people. I've had it when I've done different ceremonies or whatever with a group of people. And even like our Colorado trip when there was a bunch of us together

and we did so much amazing work together. There's a bond formed there that's very different. Yeah, because you dive in to get real. So everybody moving outside their comfort zone, there's a vulnerability that gets elicited and everyone's showing up to do the thing that they've been saying they wanna do. And they have that sisterhood, that accountability, that support and the transformational

work and strategy. So there's something about, okay, you did it. I can do it. Or I've got you or here's some resources or I'm with you. And I will also be pairing people up to do partner work for those who want extra support. And women, there's just a deeper bond and you don't feel isolated. You feel held and supported while you're taking the steps. So both on an emotional level, those who want extra support and women there's just a deeper bond and you don't feel isolated you feel held and supported while you're taking the steps so both on an emotional level but also on a practical business level I'm so excited so for anyone that's interested in feeling like you want to explore this program might be right for you I'm going to put a link in the show notes below and you can just go check it out we've got tons of information on there of what it's going

to look like and it it's just the most well thought out, incredible transformational program. Alyssa, what can they expect in terms of transformational work during those six months? So there's going to be a different life hack that we dive into each month so that they feel like they've got the mindset work as well as the emotional support. So for example, most people don't realize that you only need to feel a feeling for 90 seconds before it moves through, right? A lot of people loop in either avoiding their feelings or they loop on like spin cycle feeling them.

So we really teach about, or I'll be really teaching about emotional mastery as well as mindset mastery. So we're going to cover things around growing your business, creating clients. The main thing I would say is also feeling more confident in your business and in your life. We're going to cover sales and scaling and also just learn mindset hacks every month. So it's not just talking about it, but you're going to dive in and experience it. But every week there is support from one of us throughout the entire program for six months to dive in and really up level your mindset,

but also your business. Can we talk about confidence? Because we've talked about this before. How do you work with women around confidence? Because it is the biggest thing I see holding women in my community back on every level confident and me too. Like I go through days where, you know, if I haven't slept and I'm not feeling my best self like these self-consciousness like really drips in and I'm not feeling my most confident self and it's something I think we're always working on but how do you work on being more confident yeah I love this question because I feel like every time I work with somebody like they walk away with feeling more confident so I I have a unique approach to it. And my experience is if we're creating our confidence based on a self image, notice that it's an image and that

image of ourselves will change. It's not who we are, right? It's a story we tell about ourselves. And so if you walk into a room, I just got back from a retreat that I did. Every year I go with entrepreneurs that are doing incredible things. Like, I don't even know if I'm allowed to say names. So people that are doing incredible things and you might not, you might not be able to say names, but I can just say like jaw dropping. Yeah. And like, and I've been going there, this is the animal group that I go to. And I, for the, like the first time I was in grad school, I didn't feel good enough. All my unworthiness stuff came up and I was just paralyzed in it. I wasn't acting myself because I thought I needed to be further in my career to feel worthy of all my stuff came up.

And this is actually where it got developed. It was my own story and experience and also doing deeper spiritual work. So you can be uncertain. You can feel confident. You can say, Alyssa, I pretty much feel confident all the time. But I guarantee if you were in this group, there would be part of you that didn't feel confident at some point. So it depends.

If you feel like the most confident person in the room, you go to another room and you're feeling like less than. And so that pendulum swings depending on the environment, depending on the stories we tell ourselves, but depending on our physiology, right? That game never ends. And so it's never about trying to puff ourselves up to be confident all the time. That's inauthentic and not sustainable or true. And so the approach that I have is if you're not feeling confident, then how do you secure the insecurity, the part of you that feels insecure? How do you mother that or be with that part of you so you don't identify with it and you don't let it run your business? You don't let it take over.

And so for example, when I would go to this one group, all my unworthiness stuff would come up. And so rather than just operating out of it and thinking like I was unworthy, I could start creating a gap. And this is where meditation and mindfulness work helps. There's a gap between who I am and the stories that I'm believing about who I am. Okay. So one way to work with this is to imagine that part of you that doesn't feel confident and imagine what she would be saying if she were a little girl in the corner of a room and she's just by herself. And so what do you naturally do if you were to walk in a room and see that little girl? You'd walk over and you'd give her a hug.

You'd listen to her, right? And so helping distinguish who you are from that story of yourself and to offer yourself compassion and to see what you're believing and to start questioning these stories eventually to help change that. So to ground that a little bit, it's like, what is the part of you that feels insecure? What does it need to hear from you? Like, what would be the exact words that you could tell that part of you to start feeling safe, to feeling loved and feeling connected? And maybe it's something like, I really get that you feel scared or you don't feel good enough. I'm here for you.

Tell me more. And then you just start listening. And it's not about changing that part of you. It's just about embracing it. It's about loving it. Because from an egoic perspective, the ego wants to change things, right? But the soul perspective is just about loving and accepting. And ironically, when we accept those parts of ourselves, then they change naturally. So is it about accepting that part of yourself? Because I'm seeing, okay, if you're in that place and you're telling that little girl or that part within you what you need to hear, what if there's still part

of you that's like, well, yeah, I hear you, but I don't believe you. Yeah. So that's where, so this is beautiful. And this oftentimes happens. So then you let that part speak. You let her say, I don't believe you. And then what, how does, how do you respond back from love? It's like, you don't have to believe me and I'm still here. There's nothing about convincing. It's just meeting it with presence and acceptance. And you'll find there can be a dialogue back and forth, but you'll find it'll start integrating to your nervous system. That energy won't feel disembodied or you won't try to work your way to feel important or try to hustle to do the next thing so you feel confident. But you'll really learn how to stretch the capacity to feel that

insecurity and ironically embrace it. It's just a feeling. It's not a fact. It's not who you are. And when you have a maturity, you have an ability to stretch the capacity to feel it, it moves through. Again, within 90 seconds, it moves through your body. And you don't have so many unconscious buy-ins to just believe everything you think. And that's to me, maturity, that's a deeper sense of authentic. That's a, that's a path towards authentic confidence. I love that. I love when you said it's, it's just a feeling, it's not a fact. And I think that's so incredibly powerful. And I guess this comes back to what you talk about when you say authentic confidence,

where you're not just putting on your best outfit and pretending like you're the most confident person in the room, but actually you have this authentic confidence that isn't going to be rocked if your business isn't doing so well or someone says something not so nice about you. And I think that's where we need to build up.

Yeah. There's a woman that I worked with and she did commercial real estate and she had three bosses. They were all men. And she just kept, she was so sweet. She just kept trying to go in there and fight for her split so that she could get more money and advocate for herself. And she was going at it in a very masculine way, but just trying to prove to them so that she felt good and secure and safe. And we just reverse engineered it. I helped that part of her that was scared, feel safe and nurtured. And it started integrating into herself and she would sit back and rest in herself to a point where she completely changed. I helped her with strategy. She ended up making more than all three of her bosses that year. And she came in and she didn't need to try to prove it to them.

She had this silent confidence, like this integrated, I was so confident. I don't need to prove it to you. And I'm here and I'll listen to what you say, but I'm not budging. It came from a different place. And, and my experience is when we do it from there, we no longer attract situations that would rock us so much. Or if they do come up, we know how to handle them from the inside out. I love that story. I feel like around the world right now, there's just this collective guilt. I'm like, yes, you go, girl.

I love that so much. And I also want to touch on something else that you mentioned about stress being a form of fear. What does that mean? Because I think as entrepreneurs or really ambitious career women, it seems like sometimes stress comes with the job. And I would love to address that and understand what you mean by stress just being a form of fear. Yeah. Well, all feelings come from a thought. So thoughts create feelings. And so if you have a fear-based thought, like something could go wrong, and again, it could be subtle, it could be unconscious, something could go wrong, or I'm not going to

do well at this presentation, that will start creating a low-grade anxiety or some level of stress. And the more mindful we are, the more conscious we are of what those stories are, then we can actually question them and get free from them. But if we don't question them, we just think, oh yeah, this is a part of my work. When I'm not working, I'm not stressed, but when I'm working, I'm stressed. But the stress actually originates from the thoughts. It's not from the thing. So, you know, you can think of like a car accident. You've got five eyewitnesses and five different interpretations of the same event. Now, you can that interpretation is what's going to create our feelings, not the actual thing. It's not from the car accident. It's not from our work. It's how we interpret what's

happening that creates the stress or not. And so for me, I love meditation. And if I am not, I look at meditation as like a ballast in a ship where I feel more rooted in something that's true. And I don't get so swayed by the winds of what's happening in my career because I have a deeper practice. And sometimes I'm on it and sometimes I'm off, but I can notice if I haven't meditated, then I can get taken up by the winds of changing things in my businesses that are changing or somebody's opinion or something. But if I feel more, if I have a practice, I stay more mindful of what those stories are. And I don't just pick them up to believe them. I also just have a regular practice

of questioning my beliefs. And I find that to be more of an active meditation that's really powerful. I love that so much. I think meditation is just such an incredible free tool that should generally be a foundational thing that you just add in as often as you can. Maybe it's every day or maybe it's a few times a week where you just get quiet in whatever way it looks like. I think it can be so transformational just that tool alone. Yeah. And I like guided meditations because especially when I'm busier in my business, my mind gets

a little bit more active. And so having somebody that can just talk and then talk and it slowly leaves you in silence can be really powerful. And then other people really connect with nature or find a meditation through cooking. Like whatever your thing is or running, whatever your thing is, I would just say, make sure to not think that that's a luxury, but it's actually good good for your soul but it's going to fill you up and help you not just buy into everything you think which will help you enjoy your life more and go further in your business ironically yeah so so true one thing I've been working on personally like I love sharing this kind of thing because I feel like we all go through the same thing I've been noticing when I'm stressed it's exactly what you're saying it's all from thoughts. I've been noticing when I'm stressed, it's exactly what

you're saying. It's all from thoughts. And I've been examining my thoughts and I realized I have a pattern of catastrophic thinking where like something goes wrong or I'm busy. Say for example, I'm super busy and I'm feeling, I'm telling myself I'm overwhelmed. It might be that I think I'm burning out. I'm not taking care of my health. And so I'm putting a line down the middle of a page and on the left-hand side, I'm writing all care of my health. And so I'm putting a line down the middle of a page and on the left-hand side, I'm writing all of the catastrophic thoughts. And then on the right-hand side of the page, I've been writing down like reasonable optimism.

And it's been really good for me. But that term reasonable optimism is what I need to write because I'm not the most optimistic person. Like I consider every single angle. And when someone's too optimistic, I'm like, I don't see the data. It's not making sense to me.

So that's been great. And you don't want to throw out that part of you that is rational and that is looking out for you. So I love that you're saying yes to both of those things, both of those parts of you. Yeah, there's so many tools. For me, when I get caught in a story or I'm really in it, sometimes I'll do a very similar thing,

but I'll just write down everything I'm believing at that time and just externalizing it and seeing it with some distance. I'm like, well, no wonder I'm feeling this way. I'm believing all of these thoughts. And it's just like, oh yeah. And then like, what's actually happening now? So it's like, I'm overwhelmed. I don't have any time. But in this moment, if we cut time in this moment, that's not true. And believing that story just perpetuates the anxiety, the stress. So true. And it feels good that we get to work with women in this program where we can make sure that they are not getting stressed as their business scales, as their business gets bigger, if that's what they're coming in for and they're wanting to really grow a six or seven figure

company. I think that part's important because I really don't ever want anyone to experience burnout just because their business is scaled I don't think it has to be part of the package yeah and it can be fun you know and that there are so part of the intention really of the program is that they develop new ways of being they test things out try things on in the program Yes to saying yes to what actually works for them and then having a consistent new way of being by setting up accountability partners and trainings from us so that they actually over the six months become a new life by the end of it. And they're set up for what's next. I can't wait. I think it's going to be probably my favorite program that I've ever been part of or created. I love when you can be in a space where you just create something you wish you had. Yes.

That's exactly what I'm doing. Me too. Me too. Exactly. I mean, I literally was like, I want to work with Natalie and Danielle. Like I wanted to like learn from you guys. And I love that. Like we get to bring the best of our worlds together so that we can just share with women

and elevate them in all facets. Yeah, I feel the same. I'm very much going to be like working on this stuff you're teaching. It's going to be really incredible because I think sometimes you don't think about doing these things before it's too late or this stuff, but you don't know any of the marketing or the hiring. So again, you learn it when it's too late, whether it's which angle it is, you can't do everything all at once, or at least I've not seen a program that helps you do everything simultaneously I don't either I haven't either I really do think that business like entrepreneurship is a path to personal development and I haven't seen anything like that as well that's why I haven't joined

anything in a long time but I love that we're going to be creating both smaller groups of women to get together and feel supported and seen and uplifted by each other, as well as extra accountability partners, trainings on doing the inner work, as well as strategy and staying consistent on what it is they say they want to do. And we're going to do live retreats. It's going to be so good. Yes, I can't wait. I love the fact that we're doing retreats and can actually hang out with women in person,

not over a screen. And a really beautiful space where they feel held and supported and inspired. Yeah, it's going to be incredible. And on what you're saying about it being small groups, I want to put out there, this is going to be a capped program. It's something that we're intentionally doing. We want to keep groups small. We're going to be making sure you're in a group where we know these women are going

to become like your sisters. So we really want to make sure you're in a group where we know these women are kind of going to become like your sister so we really want to make sure you're in a group where you feel super supported and and so we're going to hold that container at a limited time so if it is something you're interested in definitely check out the link and apply for it and if you're a fit one of us will hop on a call with you and just chat through and see whether this would be the kind of thing that you're looking for because I do feel like a lot of you are looking for it and are just like, it doesn't exist. It really doesn't exist. It does now. It does now.

I'm so excited, Alyssa. Thank you so, so much for being on here. I can't wait for our event in September. It is going to be a game changer, those two days. I mean, people are so excited that day two sold out within a month. I know. I keep getting texts and emails. I'm like, can I get into day two?

So sorry. And we'll dive deeper for those who want to join our program too. But yeah, this is, and there is still space for September 7th. And we are so excited to support you and really just up leveling on all levels and having a really fun time in the process. It's going to be amazing. Yep. So link is below for the event and also for our program.

So definitely check it out. And then if you've got any questions at all just dm one of us we're always on our dms we would love to answer and from this episode i think alissa you almost talk in bosnian quotes you have so many so for everyone listening whichever of alissa's quote was your favorite, I would love for you to screenshot this episode, share it, tag us, tag me at IamNatalie, tag at bossy.inc, and then also tag Alyssa Nobriga, and we'll share it. Yeah. Where else can people find you and get to know more about you? They can go to AlyssaNobriga.com.

And actually, I've got on a freebies tab, different audio guides and workbooks just to take people through if you want a real experience of moving through a block. There's a process around getting unstuck that's free. It's accessible. And there's a fun love quiz if you guys want to dive into that work, too. Do you have a place or a recommendation for a place someone could find a guided meditation? Yeah, on the freebies tab on my AlyssaNobriga.com. I have guided meditation, lots of free things just to support people and yeah i would love to stay in touch with anyone that has any questions

let us know how um we can serve you we're here for you 100 thank you so much for being on here thank you honey so excited if you loved this episode please subscribe and be sure to leave us a review i want to hear what you enjoyed, what your main takeaways were. And also, I really want to know who you want to see appear on the show. We'll be reading all of the reviews, so we will be implementing your feedback. And speaking of reviews, we've got a little something up our sleeves. So we've just created a brand new document. It's called the Boss Wave 25.

So the Boss Wave 25 is the 25 essential resources you need for personal and professional growth seriously it's like a little boss babe holy grail it's incredible and you're gonna love it it covers everything from must-have products our favorite books rituals that we do daily and some amazing hacks to help you grow so if you want a copy it's really simple just leave us a review screenshot your review and email it to podcast at bossbabe.com we'll send you over a copy asap and yeah thank you so much for listening i will see you next week