the bossbabe podcast - 321. Tony Robbins: Change This One Thing to Directly Impact Your Happiness + Success

Starting point is 00:00:00 The quality of your life is the quality of your emotions. If you have a billion dollars and every day your habitual emotions are feeling frustrated and stressed and overwhelmed, your life is called frustrated, stressed, and overwhelmed. If you have three beautiful children and a great husband or a wife or boyfriend or girlfriend and every day you worry, your life is not love. Your life is worry. It doesn't matter how you have this beautiful family. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise.

Starting point is 00:00:32 Keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself. Confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. Welcome back to the Boss Babe podcast. All right, we've got Tony Robbins sharing some wisdom today. And specifically, what he's going to be talking about is when the reality of your success and the reality of your emotions are not always aligned. And what I mean by that is, let's say on paper, it looks like your life is going great, but your inner game is not so great. You might be stressed, have anxiety, you might be feeling really fearful, you might feel like on paper you should want all

Starting point is 00:01:19 these things and having them doesn't make you happy. I have had this. I have been through this where on the outside, everything looked great. On the inside, I felt so misaligned and so not on my path. And so in this week's episode, I want to share an excerpt from a conversation that we had with Tony where he was actually coaching me on this very thing. And his perspective on this is so powerful that I wanted to bring it back for you. So I hope you enjoy. I think success is getting what you want and fulfillment is living the life you're made to be, you know, giving your gift, so to speak. And I think if you just go for success, you end up achieving it. Usually if you're really dedicated and you're, you don't give up and you keep trying different approaches, anybody who's persistent enough can succeed, get what they want. But oftentimes you

Starting point is 00:02:08 get what you want and you're not really fulfilled. And I believe success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. So I think it's really important to understand not only what you want, but what's really going to make you really fulfilled and happy. Because if you're making everybody else happy and you're unhappy or you succeed and you're still not happy, I mean, that's really terrible. And we've seen that over and over again. You see people who have made huge fortunes and become extremely famous and they take their own lives. And the reason is because, you know, success is not enough. Anyone can succeed. The real question is what are you going to do to be fulfilled? The answer to a question is going to be completely

Starting point is 00:02:42 controlled by the mental and emotional state you're in. So if you're feeling sad or frustrated, you don't know what's happening in the future and you're uncertain, you go like, oh, what do I want? I don't know. Because your mental emotional state is the single most important ingredient to not only success, but fulfillment. And most of us do not know how to manage it. And when I say manage it, I'm really talking about your mind and your emotions, right? Those are the two things that if you can master those, because most people try to master the outside world and you can't control the outside world, you can influence it. But the one thing you can control is how you use your mind, what you do with your emotions. And if you think about the quality of your life, you know, again, look at people who supposedly have everything and

Starting point is 00:03:21 they're miserable. I get those phone calls from the people that are so quote famous, the great actors, the great musicians, they won the Academy Award. They just won the gold medal and they're literally depressed. And the reason is because they thought getting something would eventually make them feel a certain way. And it does for this long. And then you're off to the next thing. And then when you work so hard for something forever like that, it's not there. So what I really like people to understand is that the quality of your life is the quality of your emotions. If you have a billion dollars and every day your habitual emotions are feeling frustrated and stressed and overwhelmed, your life is called frustrated, stressed, and overwhelmed.

Starting point is 00:03:58 If you have three beautiful children and a great husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend, and every day you worry, your life is not love. Your life is worry. It doesn't matter how you have this beautiful family. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know, I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a

Starting point is 00:04:42 bit of spring cleaning in your business you know get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash Boss Babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's Kajabi.com slash Boss Babe. So think of it, emotions control the quality of our life. And we have habitual emotions.

Starting point is 00:05:16 That's why you'll see people who, you know, they're always angry about something. I'm sure you know somebody like that. Or they're always worried about something. If they're not worried about somebody they know, they worry about something they don't even know, right? Or, you know, some people that are, you know, think they're funny and they're not, but they have a good time, you know? Who do you want to hang out with? So learning how to direct your emotions, and emotions create everything. Everything you want in your quote-unquote success will be driven by having certain drives of emotion. And, you know, think about it. Emotions create wars. Emotions create peace. Eventually emotions are what you get you in a

Starting point is 00:05:50 relationship. Emotions, how we all got here. You know, somebody had sex and that was driven by emotion. So we are incredibly emotionally unfit today. You know, we're fearful about everything. It's nobody's fault. It's just culturally, we've been conditioned to get everything instantly by having it in our fingertips, in our phone or our iPad or our computer, whatever the case may be. And so now if you don't get what they want immediately, I'm sure you've seen somebody standing on the street corner and they're banging on their phone, like, give it a minute. It's going to a satellite and back. People today have zero patience. And then that messes up the next part that's really your life. Quality of life is quality of your emotions, but your emotions are magnified by the quality of your relationships. If you have terrible relationships, it's going to be hard to stay in a great emotional state.

Starting point is 00:06:34 And so what I try to teach people is what do you do to take control of your mind and emotions? And fundamentally, the most basic thing you got to do is you got to every day have a couple of simple practices. One of those is every day you got to feed is you got to every day have a couple of simple practices. One of those is every day you got to feed your mind. And when I say feed your mind, I mean consciously seek out something that's going to give you new insight, new inspiration, new way of looking things. Because otherwise, today, the news follows you, right? It's in your pocket. In the news, people are good people.

Starting point is 00:07:01 But they're doing their job. What's their job? Make as much profit as possible. How do you get the most profit? Get the most people to watch. How do you get the most people to watch? Fear. If it bleeds, it leads is the phrase they use in journalism, right? And we've seen so much fear built up now that most people have lost their faith. And you can't lose it, fortunately. It's just a muscle that needs to be regained. But you have to fill your mind. You have to pursue it. Great ideas are not going to interrupt you. They have to be pursued. And But you have to fill your mind. You have to pursue it. Great ideas are not going to interrupt you. They have to be pursued. And the good news is today, if you get away from

Starting point is 00:07:29 just the traditional news, you can go to podcasts like Boss Babes. You can go to different locations. You can get another perspective and you can feed your mind. But if you don't feed your mind, my original teacher was a guy named Jim Rohn. And he used to say, Tony, I got a question for you. He said, what if your worst enemy put sugar in your coffee? What's going to happen to you when you drink that coffee? Is it going to have sweet coffee? He said, you know, what if your family member, your friend, your love by accident drops one drop of strychnine? What's going to happen when you drink that coffee?

Starting point is 00:08:00 Is it going to be dead? And he goes, that's right. Life is sugar and strychnine. So watch your coffee every day. You've got to stand guard at the door of your mind, especially at times like this when there's so much fear. So you feed your mind. And then the second thing you've got to do is the mind and the body work together, meaning fear is physical, but so is courage.

Starting point is 00:08:17 Have you ever been so scared that, you know, like you have a hard time swallowing or you feel like in your gut, you know, that kind of fear, that's physical. But courage is not that you're not afraid. Courage is you're scared. You know what? You're going to do it anyway, right? It's a muscle. And courage comes from doing something physical. So every day you got to feed your mind and you got to do something physical to push yourself beyond what you're normally comfortable with. Meaning go for a jog or run or walk really fast or go lift some weights a little more than you used to. Because every time you push yourself to go beyond what's comfortable, you get more comfortable with a bigger challenge. And pretty

Starting point is 00:08:55 soon what's hard is easy. And it isn't just the weight or the run. It's what happens to your mind and emotions because they work together. And then what you got to do is really, you got to find a great role model and decide what do I want to go after? And let me have them show me a way, show me the way, at least the pattern rather than me learning by trial and error. And now I got to take action. And then ideally I got to help somebody who's worse off than I am because that'll give me fuel to remind me that my life is there. You know, you know, I feed, you know, a hundred million people every single year now, but it's because somebody fed my family when I was young and it wasn't the food. It was that Thanksgiving, somebody showed up with a surprise and it showed that they care.

Starting point is 00:09:33 So I think if you learn to take control of your emotions, then you can take control of your entire life. But without that, it's just a pipe dream. It's just more new year's resolutions. And within six or eight weeks, you're back to where you were before.

the bossbabe podcast - 321. Tony Robbins: Change This One Thing to Directly Impact Your Happiness + Success

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