the bossbabe podcast - 367. Maternity Leave as an Entrepreneur, Mom Guilt + Working From Home - Getting RAW + REAL with The Millionaire Mother

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Motherhood, birth plans, postpartum resentment + relationships, mama guilt, support, and more – today’s episode we dive into what it’s really like to balance building a business while being in your motherhood-era. Natalie sat down with Cait, The Millionaire Mother, to get the full scoop on her experience in this season of life + to get super-candid, raw, and real. If you’re a mama, this is going to be one of your favorite episodes yet! HIGHLIGHTS What maternity leave actually looks like when you’re the CEO or founder of a business A real conversation on worthiness + navigating all the changes this season of life brings The true operations + expectations behind being a “family team” Mama guilt + how we work through those challenging moments Does balance exist as a new mama + business owner (our takes and how we create alignment + harmony in our lives/ businesses)  RESOURCES + LINKS Sign Up for Cait’s Free 3-Day Workshop to Lead From Overflow, Not Depletion. Join The Société: The Place to Build A Freedom-Based Business. Get Our Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More.  FOLLOW bossbabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie Ellis: @iamnatalie Cait Scudder: @themillionairemother 

So I feel like we can't talk about motherhood and entrepreneurship without addressing the elephant in the room, mom guilt. Oh God. The breakfast is so key. People don't talk enough about blood sugar balance. It's crazy. It's not just like you have a mindset problem. It's like, honey, your hormones are out of whack.

Go eat a freaking sausage. The things that go on in your brain. I mean, if someone else could see it, they'd be like, Oh my God, thank God. It's wild. Yes. A hundred percent. How many weeks postpartum are you right now? I'm almost three weeks. This is notes from the mothership, everyone. I am in it. I think one of the amazing gifts that we have as entrepreneurs is that we get to model that these worlds get to coexist. We get to model that we get to do both at the same time. Welcome back to the Boss Babe podcast.

Okay, I'm so excited about today's episode. We have Kate Scudder on the podcast. She is the founder of The Millionaire Mother. And I wanted to bring her on to have more of a niche conversation. I know about 50% of you listening are mothers or are planning to be very very soon and so I know this is a niche conversation but I really wanted to get into some really tactical specific topics when it comes to approaching entrepreneurship as mothers. You know what the routines and rhythms

that other women are doing, mum guilt, it is a real thing, talking about mum guilt. Just really how you can look after yourself, how you can prioritize your family and be able to work on what lights you up at the same time. And I wanted to have this conversation with Kate because she is a mum of three. She actually recorded this episode just three weeks postpartum. She's a mom of three and she is a really great example of what it looks like to do things your own way and really take care of yourself while be able to have harmony across your personal life, your professional life, motherhood, relationship, all the things. So it was great. really really went there we covered so many different topics from being the breadwinner in your relationship to resentment all the things I asked all the questions that I know you all will have so yeah I know it's a bit more niche and I really really hope you enjoy it Kate's also running a free three-day training it's going to be incredible

the training is called overflow so if you're interested in joining that you can head to bossy.com forward slash overflow and you'll be forwarded on to her website. It was incredible. I really hope you enjoy it. Let's dive in. Kate, oh my goodness. Firstly, how are you feeling? Oh, babe, my nipples are super sore, but I'm going good. How are you? So good. Okay. How many weeks postpartum are you right now? I'm not even three weeks. I'm going good. How are you? So good. Okay. How many weeks postpartum are you right now? I'm not even three weeks. I'm two and a half. I'll be, we're recording this on a Wednesday. I will be three weeks postpartum on Friday. So I'm almost three weeks postpartum. You're really, you're really in it. Oh yeah. I am. This is notes from the mothership, everyone. I am in it.

And I'm so grateful you're doing this too, because I feel like when you're really in it, you have such a different perspective. I don't know about you, but I feel like the further away I get from postpartum, the more my body and brain likes to forget what it was really like. Oh my God.

Well, okay. This is so perfect that you say this because this is obviously my third birth and child and postpartum in under four years. And Natalie, we get amnesia. Like I am convinced this is how the human species continues to exist is that women forget how fucking brutal postpartum can be. It's so, so hard. It is everything. It is the full range of human experience condensed into such an intense, exquisite, tender, beautiful, raw time. But I also forgot. And like Jack is what, 20 months old. It wasn't that long ago,

but I completely forgot. I erased it in my brain. I know. I really think that is literally how the human race continues. Like even now I'm thinking about baby number two and I like, in my head, I'm like, yeah, the newborn stage, it's so easy. And then I like look at pictures from that time. I'm like, oh wait, it was actually a lot harder than I remember. Totally. My bed was covered in breast milk and spit up and cabbage leaves and all of the things you're just like trying to survive. So tell me going into your third round of postpartum, having your third baby, also being an incredibly successful entrepreneur and CEO, what, what did you go into it anticipating and planning to be able to really resource yourself? Yeah, it's such a good question. So I, uh, my, one of my mantras,

Natalie, and this is true. I mean, I feel like it's true no matter how many kids you have, but especially I feel like the ante on this gets up to every child that comes into the family, every additional child that comes into the family is just, there is no such thing as too much support. And my mantra is just widen the base of support, widen the base of support, widen the base of support. Because what happens, I mean, when I think back to Ella, who's my eldest, who's three and a half, you know, Toby and I, my husband, it was him and I taking care of the baby. And we obviously had family around. But, you know, you have this other person always available to tag team with.

But then, okay, when there's another child, there's somebody else to look after. And now we have, with this postpartum, we have two toddlers. So planning for that, I knew I've never done postpartum with two toddlers before, but we'd done it with one. And I knew just because of their particular, the two big kids, their particular stage and season, I'm like, they're going to need a lot of support. So it was really super top of mind for me to widen everyone's base of support. And I think this is so important because otherwise everything, if we're just expecting, for example, the support partner, so in this case, my husband, to be able to, if I was expecting him to be

my sole and even primary source of support, I'm not looking at the whole family constellation. And the fact that my two other kids who I am not going to be able to as actively parent are going to be still needing a ton of stuff from a parent. And so what we did this postpartum is really make sure that we had lots of support for the big kids, lots of support for me, support for Toby, and really just making sure that our nuclear unit was like resourced multiple layers deep. And that has made a huge, huge difference in being able to meet some of the very unexpected challenges, known but unexpected challenges that have emerged for us in this postpartum period. Like, I don't know how we would have been able

to do it, to be honest, without the support that we've had. So I planned really extensively for support at home. I also, the way that I structured my maternity leave in the business, I allowed myself, and I just know myself at this point, you'll probably be able to relate to this. I tend to go late with my pregnancies. So James, my son who I just birthed, was 42 weeks and two days, which I somehow convinced myself that he was going to be the pattern disruptor and he was going to come early. And of course he was the latest baby of all. But, um, now I know my body really, really does have a rhythm. And so anyway, I worked like I took my last client call the day

before my due date. And then I cleared my calendar, didn't have any calls after my due date, but I really, that cadence really works for me because in my first pregnancy, I took, I took all calls up my calendar starting from 37 weeks because everyone told me, oh, you were early. Your mom was early with you. So you're going to be early. And I ended up waiting for another four weeks, literally just sitting around being like, when is this baby going to fall out of me? And that was the worst decision ever. It was so hard. So it really worked for me to plan to work up until my due date, obviously tapered off and not, you know, super intense and not starting big new projects, but

giving myself the white space and the leniency with my clients, we gave ourselves a range and a window of like, hey, Kate's going to be back in Voxer. And I sort of staged how I'm returning back to work, you know, anywhere between three and six weeks, depending on this birth, depending on this baby, depending on this delivery, depending on this postpartum. So we planned really far out in advance in the business and really plan to have tons of support at home. And it's made a huge difference. And I have to say, I am just so freaking proud of my team because they have been absolutely rocking it for our clients and programs going super smoothly, clients messaging me being like, oh my God, this amazing person, you know, just all the guests and all the

people that we've brought in to support our clients in the meantime has been extraordinary. That's incredible. Was it hard for you? Was it a practice for you to be able to receive support and to be able to step back and let other people step in? Or have you always found that easy? I wouldn't say I've always found it easy, but it's something since becoming a mom, I think, especially since becoming a mom of two, I have like trained myself to be able to do it. And because I've witnessed firsthand, my nature is very much like the doer, the giver, the one who provides the support, right?

I think so many of us, so many listening probably can relate to that. We're the go-getters. We're the ambitious ones. We're the ones doing the doing and doing the giving. One thing that I just believe to be true in my bones, it's part of what I teach and preach, and it's part of what I really strive to embody every day, is that whether it is the home family system, whether it is our businesses and our ecosystem of our businesses with our clients, our relationship with money, if we're not allowing ourselves to receive,

the circuitry is broken. There is the amount that we're actually able to do and contribute and give to others is fragmented because we're not allowing ourselves to receive. So I think my big initiation with that, I won't say it's been easy for me forever and ever and ever, but I do not have any qualms about asking for support and receiving support. And I think that I just see the impact that that creates in my family system life and also in my business. Speaking of the doer archetype I so relate to that and I see so many

women in our community relating to that what about for the women who have their worth tied up in their busyness and they're doing this I've seen it a lot I've struggled with it myself and it's really had to be something that I've actively worked through, but so much of my worth was tied up in how much I was doing and to receive support would challenge that. Have you experienced that? Oh my God. Okay. I'm just going to be so real with you. So it's interesting because for me, the two aren't necessarily directly corresponding in that it is absolutely my greatest challenge. I don't know if it's so much my worth as it is my like day-to-day occupation. This postpartum has shown me so much, Natalie, how much I am obsessed with what I do with

work, but also like, yo, girl, your tits are on fire. Like you just had a baby, like chill. You don't need to fucking check Slack right now. Like, and I have been so humbled by my own, just like, just Kate, like, what are you doing? And my director of operations, God bless her. Like last week I was messaging about just like a creative idea and just something that I did not need to be messaging her about. And she was like, babe,

what are you doing on here? Like get off and go rest and feel better. And I, in that moment, I was like, I really have a problem just like doing nothing. And so for me, it's not like I don't feel worthy. It wasn't like I feel like I don't have worth unless I'm doing this. It was like, I need to just allow stillness to be okay. And getting comfortable with that stillness and nowhere to go-ness, it was more of like an identity orientation. But I'm also really happy to receive all the support at the meantime. But it's almost like we get so used to receiving lots of support and that being able to allow us to operate at such a high velocity and a high altitude that I'm like, yep, I can like receive all this support and have someone bring me soup and, you know, be recovering

and even, you know, recovering from some health things, have the most incredible, you know, alternative health team supporting me in my recovery from what I've been struggling with this and in this postpartum. But I'm like, I'm still wanting to be creating. And this isn't the time to do that. This is the time to just receive. And this like immediate health flare up, like I don't have to do that. I can just let that go. So I really, really relate to that because I have been, I've been shown my own pattern in such a humbling way in this, in the last couple of days. I love that you shared that. Cause I, I think so many women

listening moms or not will relate to that. The minute things slow down and they have an opportunity just to slow down and be, and they're on the circuit of slack and social and all the things so I love that you shared that another thing that I'm curious to ask you about because I also see this with a lot of bread winning women and especially in motherhood is not building or harboring resentment towards your partner. Because listen, even when you have all the support, a lot of the time, and obviously every family dynamic is different, but a lot of the time, even with all the support,

it's mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. And there's a lot coming at you at all times, no matter how many people are on deck to help. In addition to being the breadwinner of your family, this is something that I am working through and it's definitely not easy. I think it's an ongoing conversation. It's something ongoing. Now that you're in the third round of getting to practice all of this again, how are you navigating that? Are you? Is that even a theme for you? Of navigating being the primary parent and the breadwinner? Yeah, just the, how would I name it?

Like that resentment. Does resentment creep up into your relationship? Has it been there? Is it something that you've actively had to work on? Oh, definitely. So I may or may not have already shared this with you. I can't remember, but I'll share it here. So when I was postpartum with my second, with Jack, which was what, 20 months ago now,

Toby was complaining a lot about his back hurting and being really tired. And I was like, I'm going to fucking kill you. I am literally going to murder you. I was so annoyed. I was just, I was like, how just, you know, if looks could kill, just don't even go there. But little did we know he was suffering from Lyme disease, like acute Lyme disease. And we had no idea. And it wasn't until he had some labs done because he didn't stop complaining. And I'm just like, I'm going to fucking kill you. And then I'm like something like Toby is not a complainer ever. I have never known him to complain. I'm like, well, you picked a great time to start. And so I definitely was super pissed and super

resentful. But then it really unfolded that he was struggling with his own thing. And I'm like, oh, okay, this makes a lot of sense. So what, is there a precedent for that resentment? Absolutely. I will say in this postpartum, um, he also got sick right before we delivered. So there was a little bit of that complaining again, but thankfully I like, I'm very aware of that pattern. It's something that we have like worked through and I identified in myself so I could start to notice that being present. And I'm like, I have this belief. I am operating under the belief that if he is unwell in some way, then like there's not enough space in the relationship for his truth and mine. And I know that's not true. So whatever. He moved through his thing. I will say he's showing up in a totally massive way.

But of course there's resentment. We made the choice, um, with this baby, with James to sleep in separate bedrooms. I'm doing nighttime. So, uh, my mom stayed with us for the first, almost two weeks and she was overnight for the first week. And then she stayed a couple of nights in the second time. So I did have a little bit of help, but even when she slept over from like 11, 12 o'clock, I would have James until the morning. And I made that, Toby and I made that choice very consciously because the reality is I got what he wants. You know, Toby's not going to be able to give the baby what he wants. And for the sake of, Hey, can you change the baby's nappy and saving me, you know, that thing, I just made a little diaper station right by the side of my bed so I could

change him in the bed. I didn't have to get up. But that means that he gets to sleep uninterrupted through the night so that he can be present in the morning and really take the lion's share with the big kids. And so we're definitely finding new systems with three now, especially because our elder two are very young at this moment. And it's made a huge difference. And so the propensity for resentment is always there. Has it come up several times? Of course. But I feel less bought into like fueling that. And really, I read something once. It's like, once you have three kids, you and your partner better be on the same page because you're outnumbered. I'm like,

I feel there's such a, I mean, there was already such a strong bond between Toby and myself, but I feel like now we're really like, right. We are focused on surviving and the family thriving to the degree that we can and moving out of this immediate, super intense period. And that means we need to be on the same team. And so I think there's a lot of room. There's always going to be room for resentment. There's always going to be room for breeding that story. But we were very intentional from even the pregnancy about focusing on operating like a team in this period. And, you know, that means putting a lot of the other ways

that we relate as lovers, as whatever. It's like, we are co-parents and we are, you know, of course we're lovers, of course we're best friends, but we are focusing on just like navigating the ship and all the things that have to happen to do that right now. I love, I love that perspective and love how much you've shared around the need for communication and like being able to pre-anticipate this stuff. Have to talk about it first. Otherwise it's like, oh, okay, fine. You go to bed and then it's like,

you know, you're hormonal and you feel abandoned and all that stuff. So that's one of the gifts, I think, of having multiple kids. It's like you go through it enough to realize, okay, this is something we can anticipate rather than just fall into it. Let's have a conversation in the pregnancy. Let's make the implicit explicit so that everyone feels good and feels like their needs are getting met to the degree that they're able to right now. So good. I love that. And kind of staying on this and talking about navigating being an entrepreneur alongside maternity leave and all the things. Obviously, when you're an entrepreneur, you don't get really a long maternity leave. Most entrepreneurs don't. And it's really something you've got to flow with and make work for you. So it sounds like you've set up a really great break with your clients, which I think even just hearing that for a lot of women who work with clients will be a

really good reframe of that, of like, I actually can take time off and people will understand. Oh, totally. I love that. My COO just, we sent an email, I think it was on Monday, letting them know, hey, you know, this is Kate's anticipated time to return to Voxer. She's, you know, so grateful for all your support. My clients have been so supportive and Shelly wrote to me and said, you know, so many women replied and said, you know, that's amazing. Take your time. If you need more time, let us know. Just, I think that we forget that what we are doing with our clients is not just the value that we deliver to them when we're on Zoom. It's what we model for them. It's the boundaries that we model. It's the space we take for ourselves. And listen, my brand is called The Millionaire

Mother. I mentor mothers in business. So modeling, it's safe for you to take a month and not talk to clients at all. It's safe for you to take a month and not talk to clients at all. It's safe for you to take a month and not talk to clients at all and show up on Instagram occasionally if you want to. And you don't have to feel guilty for that. You don't have to only exist on the internet when you have something to give and contribute. You get to just take a hot second. And that is such a gift in and of itself to model for our clients.

I agree. I love that. I really love that perspective. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is

simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business you know. Get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible i definitely recommend kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering boss babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe so then thinking about transitioning into work now with three kids it's funny I saw this meme on Instagram it was like one kid is one kid two kids is two kids three

kids is a circus yeah for sure and so thinking about jumping back into routines and rhythms that you were in prior, how do you start to think about setting up your workday and setting up systems and structures that really support you in being able to show up at work, also give yourself the time you need and motherhood? How are you thinking about all of that? A hundred percent. Well, I think a lot of it has to do with the systems that we had and have had in place before having three kids. We have a nanny and she is a regular, not only like an extra set of hands, but she is a trusted person. She's like part of our family and is someone that our kids know. And so just like, I mean, I'm sure many people listening to this, no matter what age your kids are, you're going to be able to relate. We know that children and

childhood development kids thrive when they have a rhythm and routine. Adults are the same. We're just big kids, y'all. Like we need the same consistency and rhythms and routines as well. And so having the rhythm of, okay, Ella's going to school, Jack is home with our nanny. Now we have this new being whose rhythm and routine is always changing. I think that one thing that's really interesting about talking about schedules and consistency and rhythm and routine with a newborn is that they are not, you know, as much as we would love that to be true, they're changing every single day. Their needs and rhythms are changing every single day. I am still, you know, I don't go more than three and a half, three hours without feeding, but I will feed on

demand, whole cluster feed for an hour and a half, you know? So everything is just up in the air. So the way that we're building in those systems right now is making sure we're really leaning on the existing support, home support that we have. My schedule is tapered in that I'm not just coming back like full force, full schedule. I'm really starting to slowly ease back in to the work that I am doing and finding ways to work that also accommodate having a baby. And so for the first, I would say several months, I'm probably going to show up to lots of my calls, baby wearing and with the baby wrapped to me, because I know that he will sleep like that. Um, I'm going to show up to probably many calls. I've already warned my clients. I'm like, get ready to see my areolas, ladies, because I am definitely going to

be repress meeting on these calls. And not needing to be so rigid of, okay, nursing and motherhood and nurturing is over here, but then boss mode and working is over here. I think one of the amazing gifts that we have as entrepreneurs, as CEOs, as women who work for ourselves, and for many of us work from home, is that we get to model that these worlds get to coexist. We get to model that we get to do both at the same time. So keeping the rest of the family and our existing systems and routines as much as possible is a huge part of my strategy. And then making sure that my schedule is, you know, slowly easing back in

and then allowing the reality of how I'm showing up to work to reflect being a mom of a newborn. It's all, it's all part of how I'm returning. I love this. And just thinking too about how much you hold, you know, you have this incredibly, incredibly successful company. You have three young children, you're homesteading. Is that the correct way to describe it? That's the correct way. Yes. I'm not on, I'm not on goat duty at the moment. So other people are feeding our animals and like tending to the land. I'm like, y'all need to do that because I'm not doing that right now. And so thinking about all of the different, let's call them buckets in your life that you pull into when you are in your routine and rhythm, do you structure your days in

certain ways? Do you, is every day kind of themed differently? Do you do the same things at the same times? How do you make it work for you? A hundred percent. So, um, yes, every day has, I wouldn't say it has a theme, but Mondays are no call days. Those are my CEO days. And so those are days where I'm really focusing on projects. I'm focusing on really working on the business. So initiatives that are going to move the business forward. So that is not client facing.

That's not a client facing day at all. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Those are days that I take calls. I think we moved it down. I'm still a little postpartum brain foggy. I think we might have moved it just to Wednesday, Thursday last quarter. But, um, I, one thing that I'm doing differently actually though, in this newborn phase, whereas previously I would prefer like when I was pregnant and didn't have a newborn, I would prefer to do back-to-back calls because my calls are 50

minutes. So there's always a 10 minute window in there. So it's not like literally back to back, but I'd prefer to do three back to back calls and have all my calls for the day be done. I know that now with a newborn that isn't going to work for me. So while it's more efficient and optimal to do that in a normal season, and I will go back to doing that when he's not so, so little. Um, now I'm like, I can take maximum two calls a day and they have to be spaced out so I can really tune into his rhythm, sink in with him and not just be like bang it out efficiency mode. So that's an alter, an alteration that I've made in this season. But Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, that is when I am client facing. That is when I'm teaching. That's when I am, you know, making myself available.

But I don't start those calls until nine o'clock. And that's the earliest time. One day per month, I have an 815 and that's just from a time zone thing. But every other call earliest, earliest is at nine o'clock because mornings are sacred. We have the same family morning routine every single morning, getting the big kids ready. Now we're finding that rhythm, which is really beautiful now that I can like get out of bed and contribute and go downstairs and be with the family at breakfast. That really just started yesterday, actually. Toby's been doing

it completely by himself with the big kids while I stay in the upstairs with James, but we're finding our rhythm there. But mornings until eight o'clock are complete family time. And then I do a slow transition to getting, going upstairs, getting ready. And then on even those client facing days, I've got at minimum an hour. Most of my calls don't begin until 10 o'clock. So anywhere from an hour to two hours to not only't begin until 10 o'clock. So anywhere from an hour to two hours to not only get myself ready, but really like slowly check in, check in with the team on Slack. And so before I'm like bang on and giving outward, I'm dropping in. I'm having a moment for myself. I'm having a hot shower. I'm well fed. I'm hydrated. And I've had that moment

to just drop in. When I'm further out postpartum, this definitely isn't happening right now. I'll probably do some movement before my day starts. But right now it's really like, am I rested? Am I replenished? Have I connected with my family? Have I connected with myself? Have I connected with my team? Okay, cool. Now I'm ready to interact and give. And it's from that place, from that resource place of filling my own. Okay, cool. Now I'm ready to interact and give. And it's from that place, from that resource place of filling my own cup first, that I can then show up in the business in a big way. So that's, that is my routine and rhythm. And then Fridays are also a no call day. And that's another day to kind of wrap things up and make sure that, um, you know, projects,

uh, that we're working on for the future, priorities for the following week, it's my day to really look at that. And it's also a day to be with family. So I work a couple hours maybe on Fridays, but that's really a mom day. So that's the flow of my week. Yeah. I was going to ask that about how you support yourself and resource yourself. Because you talk a lot about being able to pull from overflow. And I'm wondering what you do for yourself that helps you get energized and feel like you're filling your cup. Because I know it's so easy when you have so many things on your plate to put yourself last. And then you really find you've got nothing to give.

And you can just, that tank can get emptier and emptier until the warning lights come on. How do you take that time? And what kind of practices do you have that support you? It's so beautiful. And I'm just like smiling, thinking back to my days in Bali and like RIP, the four hour morning routines, like, you know, pre-kid stage. Um, it's, it's funny. I think that we go through different stages and seasons and I've had periods where I had all the time in the world. And I say this, I'm even bringing this up because

I think it's really easy for a lot of moms to be like, oh, good for her filling her cup and operating from overflow, but I'm freaking busy AF and I don't have time to do that. And I really, for me, cultivating a state of overflow and pouring into myself first, my, it's not about the duration of time that I don't need four hours. I don't even need two hours. I don't even need an hour. What I really need is the white space, even if it's literally 10 minutes, 15 minutes. And obviously there are multiple sets of needs to be able to address. I think that being able to pee without another person touching you is a great way to get centered. But for me, it's really about coming back in to connect with myself, which is for me a spiritual practice. It's connecting with myself, but it's connecting with God. It's connecting with spirit. It's connecting with source. It's being able to rise above the stimulation and being a parent, being a mother, being a homesteader, being a CEO, being a wife, all of the roles that I play are, I am in a constant state of responding to other people's needs, wants, requirements, requests, et cetera. Coming back inward is like finding that still point. It's finding that center

point. And so for me, one of the really simple practices that I have, this sounds so silly, but I always listen to music in the morning. Music is such a, it's a motivator, but it's not just like pump up playlist, like pregame, you know, mix. It's, it's really about finding a center point. And so listening to music, like spiritual music when I'm in the shower is like a spiritual North star for me. And that really grounds my spirit. It sets my energy for the day. And then I have, you know, all of my physical practices that support me on a physical level, hydration, like having my electrolytes in the morning, having my morning beverage, which is like part spiritual, part physical. If you have a morning beverage routine, you probably feel the same way. Um, Eating a really solid breakfast, having enough protein. I know you're on the heavy protein

breakfast train as well, Natalie, but like I have so much protein in the morning. I have three eggs, I have bacon, you know, some, or some sort of breakfast meat. And it's, I swear I am a different person. If I have like just a croissant or something, I'm jittery. I'm more anxious. I feel ungrounded. It's really hard to feel like I am able to show up and give in the same way. And so I have physical practices that ground me. And like I said, that really simple spiritual practice, I don't really journal in the morning. Sometimes I do, but I would say that's rare. Maybe once a month, really for me, it's about, you know, a moment of mindfulness, a moment of heart centeredness. And it's really an orientation of me checking in with me about how do I want to meet

this day? How do I want to show up for the things that are required of me? And that is really, really helpful. And it's what I'm able to do in this season. I'm not doing, going to the gym and having a, you know, an hour long workout before I start my day. Well, I absolutely love that and enjoy that when that time opens up again, a hundred percent, but I'm talking like a 15 minute long shower that is like taking myself to church. And that is what I have right now in terms of time. And I really make that work for myself. And then I always try to get out in the afternoon as well for a walk and just that fresh air, blue sky. Again, for me, it's not about having an awesome physical workout at this point, but it's about the state change. It's about being in nature.

And even if that's just half an hour, that's absolutely key. But again, my preference is absolutely to get a workout in or movement in, in the morning. This season doesn't allow that. And that's okay. And I know it won't be forever. So those are some of the really practical ways that I structure my time and, and make sure that I'm filling my cup that are really, really basic. I think that's so similar to mine. The, the breakfast is so key. People don't talk enough about blood sugar balance. It's crazy. It's not just like you have a mindset problem. It's like, honey, your hormones are out of whack. Go eat a freaking sausage. Totally. Every single morning I have the same breakfast have three eggs I have sausage and cream cheese um yeah cream cheese no not cream

cheese cottage cheese yeah so high in protein I feel so good my raw milk cappuccino is definitely a spiritual practice oh my god babe me too That is honestly one of the hardest parts of this postpartum. James, I think is reacting to the dairy in my breast milk. And so I've had to give it up and I've been on the hunt for the last like five days for dairy free. Any of you listening who have dairy free living recommendations, DM me because it's just not the same raw milk cappuccino is my thing as well and it's rough out here without it oh my goodness yeah I don't ever want to go back to the plant milk so I'm yeah feeling for you right now yeah it's so good and for me too it's the same thing it's like I don't necessarily need the hours I feel like in this season I'm not going to get that but I have breakfast with the family I always eat something that's really blood sugar stabilizing I take my supplements sitting at the

table I have my electrolytes I'm loving glossy right now I'm literally drinking right now I put a hydrogen tablet in there but I wait to have my coffee to when I get a little bit of time like my baby's showering with me I keep calling her baby she's a toddler she showers with me right now so I'm not getting that solo time so as soon as we're done showering and I get that 15 minutes, I make my coffee and I just sit and silence myself. And I'm like, this, this to me fills me up. It's just those little moments. Yes. And it's so, it's so beautiful that that is so similar. And it's funny because I, you know, I think that when I used to think before I had kids, when I would think about what fills you up in the morning, it felt like a practice of

like almost like being at a spiritual grocery store. Like, what am I going to pull off the shelf and add into my routine? And now it's like, I just need the absence of things and just quiet. And that is the source of replenishment. It's like I'm connecting in. And for me, this cultivation of a feeling of overflow, whether it's an overflow of presence, of creativity, of gratitude, like those frequencies that are so hard to access when our nervous systems are overwhelmed, when we can just get still and get quiet, it's all already there. Overflow is not about adding more, more, more, more, more. It's

actually about removing stuff and allowing the natural overflow that is always wanting to give itself to us to pour through. I love it. Yes, I'm all for this. So I feel like we can't talk about motherhood and entrepreneurship without addressing the elephant in the room. Mom guilt. Oh God. Do you get it? Have you dealt with it? Literally like as I was leaving James with my postpartum doula, I'm looking at him sleeping and I literally started to cry. I'm like, don't cry. This is the one day you did your makeup. You don't have time to redo it. Like, come on. And I'm like, he is so content, but is, is it fucking him up that he's not smelling my skin for this 90 minutes? Like it, yes, of course I have dealt with mom guilt all of the freaking time. But I also know,

you know, I just, I know there's so many truths that can be real at once. First of all, I don't think that it's helpful for us as moms to make ourself feel guilty about having mom guilt. Do you know what I mean? It's like, there are so many layers deep. We can go so meta, so Russian doll with the mom guilt because then we're like, wait, I many layers deep. We can go so meta, so Russian doll with the mom guilt because then we're like, wait, I know I shouldn't have mom guilt or I should just like try to not have mom guilt. Oh my God. But I feel so guilty that I do have. And it's like, we got to disrupt the pattern. We have to let that go. And so for me, I just, I let myself cry a little. I let myself be like, oh my gosh, sweetheart, you're so tender. You're so postpartum.

Your boobs are literally having a letdown just looking at him. It's okay. That's your biology. And he's also okay. So it's like, I get to have my big mom feelings. He gets to just be this perfect little angel cherub that's sleeping on this safe, beautiful person's chest. And all of it gets to be okay at the same time. And for me, that's been the most helpful at dissolving it is not trying to like bash it away, but just let it be present and let the tenderness be there. And it kind of starts to dissipate on its own. You're so right about just how much it's wired in our biology and also the mental Olympics that you go through of like, oh my God, am I messing them up by doing this and stepping

like the, the things that go on in your brain? I mean, if someone else could see it, they'd be like, thank God. It's wild. Yes. A hundred percent. I know the amount of times I think that I'm like, oh my goodness, am i messing her up by leaving for that or by there's always a thing there's always something and i love what you're saying about not making yourself wrong about it i think there's so much working mom shame out there that it can be really challenging to tune out the noise and stick to your own intuition i also think because for our generation we're doing things things very, very differently than, you know, the Internet. When when our moms were our age, the Internet wasn't really a thing to be able to work from home.

So flexibly like this wasn't necessarily a thing. We didn't have nearly this nearly close to the number of female breadwinners that we have now. So we're kind of navigating, I would say in the dark, I feel like that. I don't feel like I have a blueprint of what this looks like. So it feels like navigating in the dark, what this looks like. And you kind of just hope and pray you're not messing your baby up, right? Because it's just, there's no roadmap. How do you feel about that? Oh my gosh. A hundred percent. Okay. So two things are coming through really, really strongly right now. First of all, is that you and I are both in a really similar stage of parenting, right? Like our kids are super little, they're toddler baby

age. Um, and I, you know, I think back to when Ella was a newborn and oh my gosh, the anxiety that I felt and the guilt that I felt of, you know, is she crossing down two lines because she's not gaining weight fast enough? Or she went from this percentile to that percentile. And for me, that was a big struggle that we had. She came out chunky and then she just grew into her natural constitution, which is more lean. But for me, seeing her go from like 90th percentile to 70th or something. I felt like those were my like test scores. And my Enneagram three was like, she's not a 70. Like it was so fucked up. But to watch myself for having that reaction, but I look at her now and I had so much mom guilt. Oh my God,

I'm going to burst into tears just talking about this. She stopped latching at three months and just not, and it is so her personality. She literally was ready to go to college at three months. She's so independent. She sleep trained herself 12 hours through the night at three months. And just that is her being. But I was like, why doesn't, why am I, I'm such a failure. I failed at breastfeeding. I exclusively pumped. So I gave her my breast milk and I pumped cause I wanted so much for her to have my milk until a year. So I did that for nine months, just pumping. And, um, and I was just, you know, so worried that that was going to mess her up. I had so many people saying just that's so hard, just do formula and would like burst into tears with, I didn't fit in the breastfeeding camp. I didn't fit in the formula camp. And so it was just this weird middle ground.

Anyway, I remember feeling like that moment in time was going to last forever. Like, and now I look at her as a thriving toddler, like soon to be four. And I'm just like, I can hardly remember it. I mean, I do remember it, but I, it like those days of being so in formula pump breastfeeding, you know, and it just feeling like my whole identity was wrapped up in, if I could do this or couldn't do it or whatever, it goes away so quickly. And I share that because I think that it's so important when we're experiencing mom guilt that we can take a couple steps back. And this has been the gift of having multiple kids is the hindsight of seeing, oh my gosh, this thing that feels so enormous right now. And like my identity and my anxiety and all of it, it's wrapped up. This is such a fleeting season. It is going to go so fast.

And coming back to, this was a mantra that really held me so steady, Natalie, in this birth was I trust my body. I trust my baby. I trust my body. I trust my baby. And even now that he's here, I'm like, I'm returning to that. And when I feel the guilt come up about anything, it's like, that is a mantra that's really, really held me steady. So that just like timing perspective is one thing I wanted to share. And then this other piece that's so relevant and the timing is perfect. I, right before I went on maternity leave, I did a podcast recording with an entrepreneur who is super successful. She's 26. She co-founded and is now the CEO of a seven plus figure company with her mom. And she grew up. So even though

the internet wasn't what it was, her mom was super entrepreneurial. She's a chiropractor and raised her daughter like as a super working mom and an entrepreneur and going out and doing all the things and the whole conversation for the podcast, this was for my podcast, the Millionaire Mother podcast, she just described how empowering it was to grow up with a mom that was that ambitious and that had open conversations with her about money and open conversations with her about why she wasn't home at certain times. And how many of us all of the time question, am I fucking my kid up by pursuing my career, by having ambition, by working, by being on this Zoom call instead of playing blocks with them? And we ask ourselves if

we're ruining them. And it was the most incredible conversation. I cannot wait for this episode to come out because it was so illuminating. I'm like the legacy that this mother left her child. Her child is a millionaire at freaking 26 years old and is starting multiple businesses. This is lyric fryer, by the way, of WorkPlay branding. She is like crushing it because she had a mom that made it okay for her to do that wildly successful, very self-assured, very entrepreneurial herself. And that was really profound to hear her tell that story in a deeper way that even I'd ever heard her tell it before, because it just gives this mom guilt a real flip on its head of what if the things that you feel guilty about are actually the greatest gifts that you're giving to your child oh I really can't

wait to listen to that it was so good yeah and there's something about that too being able to listen to women like that who are 20s 30s who grew up with ambitious moms like us entrepreneurial moms like this and to hear how it did work out to really reaffirm the way that you're doing it I think is amazing I think we all need that so I I can't wait to listen to that one okay so coming back to the the theme of overflow you're running a challenge um I've seen the behind the scenes of it it's freaking incredible what's the goal of this challenge um as it pertains to overflow in motherhood and entrepreneurship 100% yes so overflow it's a three-day training. It's going to be so, so powerful. The focus of the training is really to recalibrate and reorient ourselves as mother CEOs and entrepreneurs. How do we move

from a state of depletion and feeling like we're just barely getting over the finish line and just barely able to meet all of our responsibilities, how do we cellularly shift out of that frequency of operating and move from operating from a state of depletion into a state of overflow? And so that is really the theme. That is our core focus. Each day itself has a particular theme. So day one is all about moving from depletion to overflow. I'm going to be sharing some really, really powerful, um, I call it your biological blueprint. So some facts and scientific physiological information about why actually as a mom, you know, we are so predisposed, yes, to if we're not taking care of ourselves, operate from a state of depletion. But when we're moving from our cadence and rhythm

as a mother, we have so much energy available to us that we leave untapped. So day one is really focused on shifting our paradigm from depletion to overflow so that we're able to create more wealth, create more ease and success in business while leveraging the power that is inside of us instead of trying to push a rock up a hill and just operate from a state of push, push, push. So it's a real identity shift and a realignment with our physiology as mothers and as women. Day two is all about, I'm calling it mending the cracks in the chalice. And so day two is really focused on identifying where are the cracks in your cup? Where is energy leaking out? Where is business feeling super, super hard for you? Why is that? Let's drill into that even more. What is fundamentally

not working? I think one thing that I see working with mother CEOs, and I'm sure you can relate to this, Natalie, doing the same, is that so many moms are operating their businesses as if they don't have kids and wondering, why am I not doing a better job? And beating themselves up instead of noticing, hey, you can have as much water as you want going into this chalice, but if the chalice is cracked, you're always going to feel like you're doing it wrong. So day two is really about repairing the vessel and really looking at where are our businesses not actually set up to support us and how do we start to make some of those strategic, tactical, practical shifts

so that we can feel more able to access the operational state of overflow. And then day three is where I am sharing what I'm calling the millionaire mother's overflow map. And this is really sharing my proprietary method, what I teach inside of all of my paid programs. Most of this, I only teach inside of five plus figure investment programs of mine, but I'm teaching it on day three completely for free. And this is really looking at what are the core pillars, what are the core tenets that we need to operate a business and a life as a mother so that we're able to have really

smooth, really seamless, even in a period that's super intense like postpartum. How are we able to operate in such a way that we can actually access the feeling of overflow and the results of overflow, the feeling of overflow in our nervous systems of time, resource, bandwidth, and the overflow in our businesses of money, clients, sales. So that's what we're focusing on on day three.

I love it so much. I'm so excited. What about for the woman listening who is an entrepreneur and a mom, but maybe their business is in an earlier stage and they're listening and they're like, I can't afford to have these nannies and all of this support. Is this still going to be supportive for me? Oh my God, absolutely. I mean, yes, a million percent. And I, you know, I share really openly what my support system looks like, but this was not always the case. When I was a mom of one, um, I had, you know, maybe 10 hours of help a week, and that was only for the first six weeks. And then there was

a huge period of time where I was doing it with no childcare. And so, um, this is going to be relevant for you, whether you have a full-time nanny and are making seven plus figures, this is going to be relevant for you. If you are in startup mode and you don't have any support and you are wanting to really think intentionally about how you resource yourself, there are so many ways that we resource ourselves. Paid help is one, but it is not the only one. And we're going to be talking through a bunch of practical strategies that will be relevant and tremendously supportive of you, even if you don't have the resources or don't want to hire childcare. I love it. I'm so, so excited for anyone listening who wants to join, go to bosswave.com forward slash overflow, and we'll redirect you to the link that you need. I'm so excited. So tell me how, how is this postpartum period

looking different from your first two? How are you feeling already going? Cause I remember we talked before you went into, let's call it like a portal really. Yeah. Oh yeah. Thinking like, what's going to change? What are we anticipating? What do you feel like you're being saved up? Oh my gosh. Oh, how long do we have left? Um, I, I mean, what feels different is just having two other beings. Like I literally woke up this morning. I'm not, this is like the perfect encapsulation of what's different. I woke up this morning, just like covered in breast milk as per usual. And Ella is literally like half an inch away from my face waving like a postpartum maternity pad like and she's she's like Jane Jane she's obsessed with Mary Poppins and insists on calling

everyone else in the family a character name so it's not hi mommy it's like Jane it's me Mary here's your pad and I'm like hi Ella I mean and she's like I'm not Ella I'm Mary and I'm like, hi, Ella. I mean, and she's like, I'm not Ella. I'm Mary. And I'm like, hi, Mary. And then Toby comes in and I was like, it's Bert anyway. It's just like, bang, you're right in the thick of it. Like it's so full on, but it's so beautiful. It's just it's a circus. It is an actual circus. It's true.

The meme is true that it's a circus. It is an actual circus. It's true. The meme is true. Um, that three is the circus, but it is also, you know, I've had some of the same challenges I was sharing with you before we started recording. I got mastitis again in this postpartum for whatever reason that is. I think that all women have like one, I don't know, maybe it's not all one core area. Maybe it's different for every woman, every baby. But for me, my greatest challenge with postpartum seems to be breastfeeding in the initial period. It just, my boobs are really disposed, like get nipple damage and then, you know, get mastitis because my supply comes in really hot and heavy. And I don't know if my

ducts are just narrower. Anyway, I dealt with mastitis again, high fever, chills, sweats, the whole thing. It was absolutely brutal, babe. It was so freaking hard. And this was just like a week ago. Um, so needing to navigate and work through that. But I think that one thing that's changed is having gone through it before. Like, I feel like Toby and I know how to support each other. He knows how to support me better through it. And I also have the solace of, okay, I am alive now, which means that I got through it the other two times. So I know that I'm going to get through this again, even though it feels really, really hard. So I think there is some lived wisdom that comes. It doesn't make

dealing with the problem in the moment any easier, but honestly, I think the biggest gift in this postpartum, it's the biggest gift and the biggest challenge is just taking each day, day by day, and moment by moment, feed by feed, and just knowing that we're chipping away to the other side. And I talk all the time about the analogies between birth and business, but I just think, you know, when we're in the thick of any intense season, whether it's a business season, a personal season, a postpartum season, that's really all we can do, isn't it? Like day by day, moment by moment, you know, challenge by challenge, just meeting the moment fully. And that was the biggest initiator and gift of the end of my pregnancy. It was definitely such a lesson in the birth. I just recorded my birth story podcast

today. And, um, it was such a huge lesson from the birth is just like meet meeting what is moment by moment. So that has absolutely been the medicine that Mr. James Henry has brought into my life in this birth and this postpartum. That's beautiful. I'm just really hearing you say just being fully present to whatever it is in the moment, just not, not projecting 10 minutes out, just like literally just being in it right there. Yeah. And just like hearing that I'm like, yeah, that would have been really helpful. That's a good way to look at it. Well, because it's so easy postpartum to like, be so anxious about like, and what what's going to happen at their two week checkup and what's going to happen

in this and how are we possibly going to deal with that event on the count? And it's just like, none of that is actually helping me meet what is right here. And my kids, my family, my life, my own spirit, like everything is just existing right now in this moment. And so that's really the practice and the discipline is just like, come back to right now, come back to right now, come back to right now. I love that so much. And thank you for being here. Thank you so much. I really appreciate being in your postpartum bubble and breaking that to come here. I'm so excited for overflow.

I can't wait. Like just seeing what you're outlining. I can't wait to attend. I know it's going to be amazing. So for anyone listening, bosswave.com forward slash overflow, if you want to join us and then where can everyone else find you and keep up on your journey? Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for having me, Natalie.

It was so, so beautiful to be here and to connect and share from the postpartum bubble. You all can find me on Instagram. I'm at The Millionaire Mother. I also have a podcast, The Millionaire Mother Podcast, which is available on Spotify and iTunes. The website is going to be released soon. It's not out yet, but you can go there and get on the waitlist, themillionairemother.com. But Instagram and the podcast are a great way to connect in the meantime.