the bossbabe podcast - 370. Confidence + Authenticity, Finding Your Business Niche + Building Mental Resilience

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

In todays episode Lindsay is back reflecting on her experience at the Mom 2.0 Summit in Nashville. She’s sharing her insights + takeaways on all things confidence, authenticity, finding your niche, and what it takes to truly build mental resilience. If you need a boost of inspiration + tactical tools to implement right away, this episode is 100% for you. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Introduction 01:30 - What is Mom 2.0? 04:01 - How to Build confidence as an entrepreneur 07:44 - How to find your niche 14:00 - How to build Mental Resilience 21:00 - Wrap up RESOURCES + LINKS Join The Société: The Place to Build A Freedom-Based Business Get Our Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More.  Join Natalie + Brendon Burchard’s Live Training - Learn The Simple Framework Used By Leading Experts To Start Or Grow Your Coaching Business This Year. Your Future Self Free Meditation: Get Grounded + Gain Clarity On Your Big-Picture Vision With Our NEW Meditation FOLLOW bossbabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie Ellis: @iamnatalie Lindsay Roselle: @lindsayroselle

If you want to do something new, do it. Try it. Add it in. Just start talking about it. See what happens. There's no magic like button to push to just start doing something else. But also there's no button to push to start doing something else. You can pivot immediately.

You can start talking about anything you want. And I think that's the real beauty of being a social media creator and an online marketer is there is so much potential. There is so much potential, you guys. So, so, so much. Hard things are going to happen and there's never a point I'm going to get to in life or in my business where hard things aren't going to happen anymore. Sometimes we get lured into this belief that there's going to be a point where I make enough money or I have a big enough team or I have enough followers where it's going to feel easy that's just not the case life is life there are seasons things that are out of your control that

you cannot change or help the best thing that all of us can do is to build mental resilience hello welcome back to the show this is lindsay i'm doing a little solo episode today because i was fortunate enough to get to speak at a conference called Mom 2.0 last week in Nashville. And I wanted to share some of my takeaways. I had a bunch of personal takeaways. I got asked a lot of great questions. And when I was debriefing it internally with our team, we were like, you know, we should share this with everybody because these are questions that I think a lot of people have and valuable information. So if you weren't able to be in the room, you can, you can hear it from me. So mom 2.0 was in Nashville, Tennessee. I had not been in Nashville as an adult. So

I had a great time in Nashville. Very, very fun. I loved the energy. And being at this conference really played, I think from from an energetic standpoint, too, into the fun, like active, very colorful, I guess is the way to describe it. I felt like everyone in the room was wearing beautiful color. And I just love being around moms who are growing businesses and especially moms who are creators on Instagram, because I don't I don't qualify myself as a creator. Like, I don't love to create reels. I don't I don't really like think in that language. Natalie is such a master at that. And I,

I'm in awe of our team and, and, and Natalie in being able to like express ideas and express themselves through social media creation. I am more of like a coach and a teacher and I love to study and, and learn. Um, but I feel like I communicate a lot of my ideas more through speaking or, or, you know, leading teams or here on the podcast. So, um, I loved being on stage and it was this juxtaposition of like being in this room full of beautiful women who are all creators and wanting to talk to them about their businesses. And, and so a lot of the things that I spoke to in the Q&As and on stage were entrepreneurial mindset and really this balance of building a business and following our ambition, but also wanting to be authentic to motherhood or to our freedom-based lifestyle where we don't want to be a slave to the business. We don't want to feel like it's chaotic all the time. And if we have social media based businesses, man, we really don't want to feel like we can't ever put our phone down. And I think that it's very common. Maybe it's not expressed very much, but it's very common to feel like if you're building a business on social media, you can't put your phone down

because it's like, I'm leaving money on the table or there's audience that needs to hear from me, or people want to know what I'm doing. And I feel like I'm missing something or I'm doing something wrong if I'm not constantly available. And I picked up on that energy. I've been there too. It's something we talk a lot about internally at Boss Babe is how do we continue to grow a business while still honoring the freedom and the flexibility and the lifestyle that we want. So being in a room of moms, this was just definitely the thread. And so I want to pull on a couple of the themes that came through. So one was confidence building. And in terms of entrepreneurial mindset, I think there's a few like underpinning things that I really,

really want to touch on. One is building confidence and, and really being able to show up as you. And I said this in one of the Q and A's, I was like, you know, I think what is selling right now on social media, I think what will win on social media is the truth. And, and I think the customer is so savvy. And I've said this on a bunch of podcasts. So if you're a regular listener, you hear me say this a lot. The customer is so savvy and I've said this on a bunch of podcasts so if you're a regular listener you hear me say this a lot the customer is so savvy like there's so much noise there's so much content on social media that the viewer the customer the person watching your stories or your reels or your tick tocks they they know they get it and and I think it's so, it feels obvious to me, but maybe it's not obvious to everybody where

if you're mimicking or you're hiding something or you're not showing up fully authentically, it's not going to work. And I think sometimes as creators and online business owners, we get really, really discouraged when something's not working. And our tendency is like to blame ourselves in that we're doing it wrong or the customer doesn't get it or like something more more like tangible tactical like that when the real truth is like no i think i think what you're selling you really care about and you really want to help people with it's it's the delivery or how you're showing up doesn't feel real it feels it feels like you're not telling the truth not that you're not not in like a negative

you're hiding something away but in like you're too you're um you're scared to be like you're not telling the truth. Not that you're not, not in like a negative, you're hiding something away, but in like you're too, you're, um, you're scared to be wrong. You're trying to be too perfect or you're holding back on what you really want to say. And you're making it a more vanilla version of it. And what people really want from you is the grit, the raw, the real. And so my first thing in the entrepreneurial mindset that I really want you guys to hear is, is about confidence and that confidence comes from being uncomfortable. That's the only way you get more confident in life is to go through things that are uncomfortable, to experience discomfort, to come out on the other side and know you're going to survive and know, know that you can do it and learn from what you felt and what happened to make

you uncomfortable in the first place and go, okay, interesting. The next time I have this experience, I can go back to previous experiences and pull from that, the wisdom in my, in my mind and in my body of how to handle it so that I get, I'm less uncomfortable and I come out of it more quickly. And the term for that is resilience. So we're building resilience in our nervous system by exposing ourselves to things that make us uncomfortable. And how that manifests is confidence. It shows up in you being able to come online and speak the truth. It comes up in saying no to opportunities that might be lucrative financially, but don't actually match up with your values. It comes up in you building a business in a certain amount of time a week and saying, you know what,

enough is enough. Like I could make more money than this. I could create more than this, but I don't want to because this is enough for me and I'm okay leaving some on the table to preserve my lifestyle. And I think, I think a lot of times when we think about confidence, we think about just like being able to get on stage and speak and, and, and like the confidence as a personality. And that's part of it. And I think there's confidence that I'm getting at in a mindset thing of, of like confidence in yourself that you, you have the right answer and that what you want to say that's truly authentic is okay to say. And you're, you're not worried about doing something wrong and being yourself, if that makes sense. That's really it.

So the number one thing in mindset that I want you to hear, no matter what stage of business you're at, is building confidence and really honing that in is one of the fundamental keys to success. It absolutely is. The next thing that I wanted to talk about based on being at this conference and answering so many questions and just our internal conversations and everything is around finding your niche and kind of what's working and what's not today in business and in social media and the mindset around this. Again, I'm going to tie it all back to mindset because really, I, you know, I spoke on stage about business building and obviously I'm the COO of Boss Babe. Like I know

a lot about business, but I think a lot of what I can offer to people is around the mindset of how to operate a business because that's really what I do. You know, I come in and I help operate this business. I run our team. I support Natalie and all of her vision and everything. And a lot of what I have to manage every day is my own mindset around how to see the whole big picture and also make sure we do every piece with excellence. And I think that's the same idea I want to apply to finding a niche. And I want you to take exactly what I just said and think about it in your life, which is in your business, which is when you look at the big picture of your business and your life, what, what, how does that feel? And what do you want to be doing? And then I want you to look at

every piece that you're doing, like all the pieces in the business of what are you delivering in your business? What are you selling? What are you putting on social media? Um, how are you working with your customers? If you're selling a physical product, you know, how, how is it working with your suppliers, all of this stuff. And I want you to think about the, the, this question of the niche. And I think what sometimes happens to us in, and this is where our mindset starts to be affected is we either go really, really hard on the big picture and we kind of lose sight of the details. And then we go down a path that maybe isn't where we want to end up, or it's the opposite. We get so wrapped up in the day to day and, and especially for solopreneurs, you know,

we're doing everything. It's very easy to just focus on the day's tasks and kind of set aside the big vision. And again, we might end up down a path that we're like, wait, this isn't what my vision was. This isn't the industry I want to be in, or this isn't the product I want to be delivering. And I think the opportunity that we have when we talk about the mindset around the niche that you're in and really defining what you're good at is to look back at your business and where you sit today and go, okay, when I look at big vision, my big vision for my life and my business, am I on the path to that? Yes or no? And you can pause here if you want to think about it. And then set that aside and go, when I look at the day-to-day

of my vision of my business, am I on the path I want to be on am I doing the things I want to be doing why are I not and then once you have kind of the the assessment on both sides of that then you can put them next to each other and go this is so interesting you know I'm I'm definitely doing I definitely still have the big vision but the day-to-day is not leading to this or vice versa like I definitely love what I do day to day but my big vision I'm do day to day, but my big vision, I'm not on the path to hit my big vision. And that's where you get this invitation into the niche. And I think a lot of people come at niches like there's, there's money in the niches, like go find a niche

that's underserved or, or, you know, pull on experience that you have from your life and go sell that to other people. And I'm all for all of those ways of determining niche. What I also want you to hear is once you've, once you kind of know what, what those options that are available to you are, I also want you to look at, is this the niche that I want to be doing for the next several years? Is this, is this my thing? Is this a thing that only I can do? Is this something that I bring my authentic, real self to? And I think this ties back to number one, which is like, be you, tell the truth. And that's how you're going to find confidence. I think if you've chosen a niche based on money, it may work for a while, but after a certain amount of time, you're going to start to get out of alignment with, hey, this is a niche that I know people like to hear me talk about or buy stuff from me

in this niche, but it's not what I want to be known for. It's not my life's work. It's not what I'm passionate about. And I think as, as those two roads start to diverge is where you're going to start to feel maybe a lack of confidence and you're going to, it's going to start to feel harder to show up as yourself because you know that you're, people are expecting one thing from you when you are wanting to be doing something else. So I think the second thing in entrepreneurial mindset that I want you to hear from me is it's always, always an option to reevaluate the niche that you're in. And if you feel dissonance, if you feel like you're out of alignment with what you're selling currently, or the platform that you've built yourself on,

or what you talk about every day, there's no magic like button to push to just start doing something else. But also there's no button to push to start doing something else. You can pivot immediately. You can start talking about anything you want and I think that's the real beauty of being a social media creator and an online marketer is there is so much potential there's so much potential there's so much potential you guys so so so much so I don't want you to stick to a niche that you're out of alignment on because you feel like if you were to shift to something different you you wouldn't be able to do it or you wouldn't be able to have results or make enough money. And there may need to be a transition time for sure. But I want to give you full permission.

And this came up in so many conversations with people where it's like full permission to shift niches. If you want to do something new, do it, try it, add it in, just start talking about it, see what happens. That's the beauty of social media. And if you're really confident and you're working on confidence, and then you want to evaluate niches and shift into a new niche, those two things go hand in hand. That's like the perfect entrepreneurial mindset combo there to be like, I'm feeling more confident in myself. I'm doing a lot of work on myself. And I really know that I'm more in alignment with a new thing or a different take on what I currently do. And I am going to trust that my own personal alignment is

guiding me in the right direction. And I'm going to lean in. Okay. The third thing that I want to touch on is mental resilience. And I talked about it a little bit with building confidence. And I think it's a big piece of building confidence. But overall, it's this conversation and entrepreneurial mindset that I felt was so relevant talking to a bunch of women who are creators and who are balancing being very, very visible on social media with having young kids and having a family life that they kind of want to keep private, you know, and this balance of if I'm, you know, I'm building my brand on my face and myself, and there's this expectation that I share everything and I'm like always available. How do I have a private life and

how do I have things happen to me in private without this obligation almost to share them publicly with my audience and and I think what I have to say here is the mental resilience of any kind of business whether you are a solopreneur creator who has an online social media based business, or you are the C level of a big company, everybody's going to experience the need for this understanding of the resilient mindset, the mental resilient mindset of hard things are going to happen. And there's never a point I'm going to get to in in life or in my business where hard things aren't going to happen anymore it's just the human condition and so in in being entrepreneurs I think sometimes we get lured into this belief that there's going to be a point where I make enough money or I have a big enough team or I have enough followers where it's going to feel

easy and hard things aren't going to happen anymore. It's just going to be, it'll be way easier to manage it at that point. And I can tell you from experience and from doing tons of podcast interviews and meeting lots of people at events. And, you know, I had long corporate career before all of this, where that's just not the case. Life is life, you know? And I think the, the healthiest way that we can tackle this in our mind mindset is to be. I don't love this word, but it's like to be really real and realistic. And I don't mean that in like the pejorative, like just be realistic where I'm trying to tell you you can't do it. I'm like be realistic in in the sense of being grounded in reality and being very present in your life and understanding that there are seasons and there are undulations and there are things

that are out of your control that you cannot change or help that will affect how it feels to be you and how it feels to run your business. And the best thing that all of us can do in managing things that we can't control, like hard things that come along in life and business is to build mental resilience. And that means to do the work, to do the inner work. And, you know, I, this was a business conference all about social media influencing and, and being an affiliate for selling other people's products, monetizing your Instagram, you know, really being in this creator seat where your life is on display all the time. And, and I, I get that, you know, being, I don't consider myself a creator, so I don't,

I don't necessarily feel this way, but it's some of the women I was talking to, you know, it's like, I feel like this obligation to constantly share hard things I'm going through because they, it's like how people relate to me is that something hard is happening in my life and they want to know all the details. And, and I think this is just such an interesting human phenomenon because without social media, we would never know so much about so many people. We would never know the hard things that everybody's going through in private. And yet social media gives us this platform where somebody can share about something tragic happening in their family or, um, you know, with one of their children or something. And, and we're just magnets to wanting to know all the details and reading all the comments like I'm guilty of this, too.

And I think it does take away some of our ability to be in like to feel free, right, to feel like our business and our life can coexist peacefully. And so if you're one of these people who's in a business, I mean, a lot of us are this way where our social media is such a huge part of how we grow our business. I think this is a huge conversation to be having with yourself around how am I standing up to this feeling internally of balancing my obligation to show up and share in my business with my desire to be really private and my desire to keep some of my human experience and my human hardship private and knowing and accepting that there's never going to come a day where your human life is perfect and it's without any hardship that just isn't true and you're not obligated to share everything with everyone

so inner work is is really really what I come back to. It's the biggest needle mover for me in my life. Natalie and I talk about it a ton inside of Boss Babe. Everyone on our team has their own inner work practices. And it really is this idea of how are you every day operating in a way internally, whether it's meditation, journaling, somatic practices, whatever, you know, prayer, whatever it may be for you, what are you doing in your life consistently to be building that mental resilience muscle, just like going to the gym. It's building the muscle of toughness and grit and softness and

compassion and self-awareness ultimately. So that in these moments of exposure online, of, of being in our business, we have this sturdiness internally to go, I can handle the criticism. I can handle the boundary of saying I'm not going to share this. I can handle someone disagreeing with my choices. And this is edgy work. It's really edgy. And I think that it's such a big piece of the mindset of building a business online that we don't talk enough about is this ability to handle hardship and know what you do want to share and what you don't want to share and know how to navigate yourself through it

privately without needing to get everyone's advice. And ultimately knowing how to come out on the other side of something that is extremely difficult or is just a normal day everyday hardship and keep moving and keep focused on the vision and keep focused on the day-to-day excellence and and the why of your business and so let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place so it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped

us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet, now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial. Go to kajabi.com slash Boss Babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash Boss Babe. Those are my three big takeaways and there's lots more i could say here um i'm going to try to keep it manageably short for you today um just to plant some seeds but

yeah overall uh i think the things that are coming to mind for me right now currently in spring of 2024 after being on you know stage last week in front of a bunch of female creators who are all moms and all the amazing conversations I had, it's really those three things. There's this need to build confidence in ourselves. And, and with confidence in ourselves comes the ability to show up truthfully and authentically online. And that's what's winning. So if you, if you're struggling to show up authentically and truthfully online, there's work to be done in the confidence realm. And confidence is a, is just a, a out, like a result of doing work in uncomfortable situations, getting into uncomfortable situations and proving to yourself that you can do it. Uh, the second thing is really looking at niches and, and knowing

that, um, what you're building is in alignment with what you really want to be doing with your life. And I think that's a mindset trap a lot of us fall into where we build in a direction of money or we build in a direction of like, this is easy, or I'm already known for this instead of building in the direction of alignment and over time that becomes really obvious to our audience that we're we're not in alignment and so i i offer this as an invitation to you to look at the niche that you're in and if it's truly really honestly in alignment for you and then the third thing is it's just this real talk around mental resilience and hardship and that growing a business is hard, you know, living, living a human life is going to be hard at times. And we are also so many of us highly exposed and highly, um, you know, present on social media. And so there's a lot of information and judgment and feedback that we get when we go through hard things. And I just, in, in building mental resilience, I really want you to be looking at building it for yourself so that you get to choose in the hard moments how much you want to share. the answer all the time or, um, or making decisions because that's what people expect

of you versus what's truly, uh, real and needed in your life. So those are my main three takeaways. I, a little woo, a little deep. Um, there was also so much good wisdom at this conference around social media trends and, um, God, everyone was like so beautiful so many dresses and and just a lot of color i loved it uh super inspiring because i'm usually like a neutral wardrobe person um but i loved seeing women like just dressed up wearing beautiful color i think that like color is coming back in fashion i am not a fashionista but that was that was another takeaway i was like where are the colors get the dress wear the bright pink, like do it. So anyway, I hope this is helpful.

I love this stuff. I could nerd out on this all day long. Natalie and I literally do nerd out on this all day long, every day. We are such huge proponents of nervous system work and inner work and really, really figuring out this balance of what's enough for you in your life, in your business and what feels aligned for you in your life, in your business and, and what, what feels aligned for you in your business that supports a lifestyle. And it doesn't mean that

every single day is going to feel great. Um, it's definitely not, but that overall, the trend line through your business and through your life is that the business is supporting the lifestyle that you want and that you're not striving or pursuing, um, in a way that's burning you out and causing you to be out of alignment. So, um, if you have any questions or, or you want to chat about this stuff, hit me up in the DMS. And, um, as always, thank you so much for listening and we'll see you on the next episode. Outro Music