the bossbabe podcast - 373. Nervous System Regulation for Financial Abundance, MRR/Faceless IG Scams + Real Talk About Businesses with Longevity

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

From recalibrating their nervous systems, releasing the need to ‘do it all’, and letting go of business pressures, to the faceless marketing trends online and MRR – today’s episode goes into it all: the strategies, tips, and routines that will help you level up in your business and life. If you’re needing some tough love + real talk, this is an episode you are going to love. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Coffee Talk 01:55 - The Importance of Nervous System Work 09:28 - How To Recalibrate Your Patterns of Operation 18:02 - The Importance of Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs 31:24 - Thoughts on the Faceless Business Trend 37:25 - Dangers of M.R.R 42:16 - Lindsay's Tough Love Advice 45:29 - Closing Thoughts RESOURCES + LINKS Join The Société: The Place to Build A Freedom-Based Business Get Our Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More.  FOLLOW bossbabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie Ellis: @iamnatalie Lindsay Roselle: @lindsayroselle

COVID era coaching and it was like vapor like they would sell these programs that were like you get one hour a month of Voxer access but if you use it you're not standing in your strong feminine energy oh my god I haven't seen this it's like ten thousand dollars a month to have one hour of Voxer access and I'm like what the and then but they would post receipts on their Instagram of like I'm making 875,000 a month selling these type of programs where I and I have such like powerful women in my circle that are my clients that they don't even need to use their coaching

because like just making the investment is empowering enough that they know what to do. And I'm like, I don't like this. Get it girl, we're here for it. None of that feels very in integrity. Yeah, I think like this is the darker side of Instagram where there's no way to validate any of these numbers. And so yeah, anybody can post that they're making any amount of money and how would you know that they're not

welcome back to the Boss Babe podcast me and Lindsay are catching up today it's been a while I know I feel like we've been traveling and in implementation mode on all of our stuff yeah and I've kind of been able really I've needed a little bit of time you got a lot going on yeah yeah I mean I feel like I've been working through through some shit so grateful that you've been doing some interviews you guys have probably had some interviews with Lindsay on the podcast some solos feel like I need like going to the UK and going through that retreat I just released a solo episode on this like talking about how much I needed that but I feel like I've really been going through it a little bit and just needed

to step back and process and I think what's so interesting is like how we're both kind of going through a similar process of wanting to tap back into two things one I think that sense of aliveness like what makes us feel so alive and like lit up and turned on by life and the second thing is both going deep in the nervous system work so why don't we start there because i've also got a lot of things a lot of controversial things that i want us to clear up so we got to calibrate our nervous systems before we start talking about controversial stuff okay but it's really interesting because i was at a retreat weekend and you just had your own separate weekend and we both were having a lot of these like similar moments.

And what's interesting is we weren't talking a lot, which is also quite strange for us because I feel like we talk 24-7. But we had a lot of the same things come up. And I'm just going to project onto you where I think some very similar in a way of we both hold a lot for a lot of people for our families for our teams for our clients like I think I do think we're honestly known as like the women you can rely on like we've always got your back well we can take stuff on we'll get it done and I think that is a beautiful quality and amazing and at the same time I think that comes with a lot of its own challenges and it's really interesting that both of us have felt this at the same time this need to pull back a little bit and tap back into ourselves so does that does

that sound accurate for you as well I know I mean that's definitely accurate for me yeah no that's exactly how I feel and and I was thinking you know. I mean, that's definitely accurate for me. Yeah, no, that's exactly how I feel. And, and I was thinking, you know, a couple of weeks ago, uh, I was in Nashville for the weekend, you were in the UK. And so the time zone was different and I was back to back with speaking, you were in retreat. So yeah, we weren't talking, but then it was like, we had similar epiphanies. And so once we talked, I was like, well, this happened and I had this thought and you're like, holy shit, that's exactly what I thought. And, you know, like eclipse vibes and all this stuff. But also I do think it's just this reckoning in, in our culture in general that we're seeing around, um, this question that we talk a lot about of, of like, when is enough enough?

And like the, when you hold so much, it's tempted to be like, well, if a little bit more is going to make this easier, a little bit more is gonna make this easier a little bit more is gonna make this easier and you gave me a podcast to listen to and the person on it said I'm so capable and so like I'm so used to just being so capable that I can take on the next thing and I can take on the next thing and nobody really sees the weight I'm under but it's not really fair to me to expect me to do everything and not not have somebody for to whom I'm able to surrender and, and like feel totally taken care of by. And I was like, damn, like that's how it feels is I'm so capable

and I love being capable. I love making money. And like, wouldn't it be so nice if like all the money I made and all the things I do, like didn't matter. And there was, and I could feel like totally safe and to be taken care of in a way. And I was like, okay, is this, this is a big question for me around what does that really energetically mean? Because I don't think it's like, I need, I need a sugar daddy or like, I need RT to go get a high paying job or any of these things. I think it's like all a mirror of my own nervous system of exactly what you're saying of like,

where is my inner safety and I am so calibrated to capability and achievement and like do I do I need to be doing everything I'm doing you know and have I chosen things to be capable at that aren't really necessary for my family to be okay and for you know so yeah I have you said it to me the other day you're like I feel like you have a lot of open questions. And that is how I feel right now is I'm awakening to a lot of these things, but I don't know the answer. Yeah. I relate a lot to that on the nervous system. One thing I was saying in my solo episode was I feel like this weekend, I really got a chance to recalibrate my nervous

system because the last two years has been really, really challenging. And I've changed the way I have done everything. But before that, it felt like I had to hold it all. And I had to be the super capable one. And my nervous system felt that. Whereas I feel like I'm in a place now where I need to open my window of tolerance more. And realize that I'm out of a hard situation. I'm out of a place where I need to be doing it all. Like I'm out of that.

And I feel like at my retreat, I really recalibrated my nervous system and opened up my window of tolerance to, I like ask myself the questions like, how good am I willing to let things get? And I realized there had been a limit for me of how good I was willing to let things get? And I realized there had been a limit for me of how good I was willing to let things get and let things feel because subconsciously I would just keep adding more to the plate, more to the plate, more to the plate. When I was free, I'd add more to the plate. And I think that was my nervous system trying to keep me safe because in the past that's what had been needed. And like, especially with business, like I was caught, there was so much pressure on me to continue continue like always being in the marketing seat and always being in the revenue generating

seat and I'm not in that anymore and that feels really good my nervous system isn't still not sure of that it's like oh wait it gets to feel this easy like the business is crushing it or like so much like even outside of business so much of that I'm having to open my window of tolerance and let myself be okay with it and what I'm realizing is a lot of that can be really uncomfortable work it's not like this quick meditation that you do where your nervous system's automatically rewired to a new way of doing things it's allowing myself to for me what I've noticed is when something starts feeling really good and I notice a subconscious part of me starts to add other stuff on and not let it feel really good. I have to take a pause and really notice, am I adding this on because I want to add it on or am I adding this on because I'm not willing to let it stay this good?

So that's been really interesting work for me. I feel like that's so relatable, like this idea of if it's not hard, it's not worth it, or it's not, it's not going to stay around or somebody's going to, some external force is going to come in and make it like not okay that I'm, that it's been this easy for me. And I feel like I hear that a lot from people, women like us who are breadwinners, who are in early motherhood, where it's like, we're so freaking conditioned at this level of calibration, which you're saying in the nervous system, which is so true. Like if you're in, if you're in a certain level of stimulation for long enough, you calibrate there. Right. And then it's like, okay, that, that season was really

hard and I survived it. And now your nervous system is like, well, shit, we never want to, we never want to not be ready for that to happen again so we're gonna stay calibrated to this level of vigilance and this level of of like hardness and then as stuff gets easy like you're saying you leave that season and you're in a much easier quote-unquote easier season and things are there's more space and more freedom and your nervous systems like Natalie, Ooh, Natalie, like, no, we still can't relax because that could happen again. You know? And I do think that nuance is so seldom talked about of like, okay, we want to be ready. Of course, we always want to be ready if something hard is going to happen, but we don't want to live our life in that state of like fry

vigilance. And yeah, you and I were talking over the weekend just like friend catch up and and like you were describing how you're feeling I'm tearing up in this of like how much I feel like I'm still holding like frozen in four years ago's trauma from all the stuff that happened during COVID I'm like oh shit that stuff just hearing you describe letting your stuff go I'm like oh that touched something in me of of there's still stuff I'm holding on to that I I've been ignoring or like I thought I let go of and that's like with nervous system work I think is so important like you're saying it's not one and done it's it's daily looking at the onion layers right of like there is like, there is more here, there is more here. And new stimulus,

that triggered something. So yeah, with this idea of calibration, like what are you doing then? I know you just came off a retreat and learned a bunch of stuff. And we're talking about it in the business and everything too. But what are you doing to recalibrate? Like how are you interrupting these cycles or the patterns of operation? a few different things one thing I've been really doing again is journaling a lot of journaling and getting all of my thoughts out on paper and that has been feeling really really good and when I notice something triggers me or I'm activated by something during the day spending time to write it out and my previous habit is would be very direct to the point like I just say what I need to say and then I'm out like you know quick paragraph that then I'm done with journaling and I've been sitting in and trying to go longer of like okay

maybe that quick paragraphs my conscious but what's beyond that what's sitting in my subconscious that actually I'm not saying that I do want to say I shared it with you at the weekend too like I grew up where I wasn't allowed to have a lot of emotion and expression and I got very good at just getting very to the point and being quite stoic and all that stuff so it's it's a real practice for me to be quite long-winded so I'm actually being long-winded with myself and journaling and I feel like I'm trying to tap out of my conscious into my subconscious um beyond that I'm trying to reduce my stimulation. So I think I was in hypervigilance. I really, really was for quite a long time. And I was very much in a place of dreading the emails that were going to come through, dreading the texts I was going to get on my phone, dreading

what was like, that was a thing. And I moved into a place of hypervigilance and I didn't realize I never fully let that go and there's there's certain times I would notice it where I'd get like a message saying like um I mean even with you like being totally honest like if you had messaged me being like hey can we chat my nervous system would go off and I'm like oh fuck what have I done wrong like and that's not anything to do with you or and or anybody else that's just my nervous system still being a little bit jacked up and I realized that over the past couple of years so little things like that I've now brought back into my awareness of like when I'm noticing certain things like this happen I'm in the moment

rewiring my nervous system in the moment I'm breathing through it, I'm allowing myself to sit with a discomfort and literally telling myself, you are not being chased by a tiger right now, you are not in danger, you are safe, you know, doing the nervous system work, looking around the room, like, like calling out what I'm actually seeing what I'm feeling all of like, bringing my senses into it, bringing my body back into the picture, because I feel like my head has run the show for so long that I'm bringing my body back into the picture um so that's been really really powerful and then also a lot more connection with Stephen like instead of just passing ships and like how are you how are you feeling like sitting with him like looking into each other's eyes dropping into

gratitude dropping into how we're really feeling trying to get beyond the head into the body and having that person to share with has been powerful so I feel like there's a lot of things I'm reducing my stimulation I'm not really watching so much tv I'm reading fiction books um just just allowing my nervous system to settle and realize we're not being chased by a tiger and allowing things to feel really good but it is it's also a practice to notice when I try and add another project on or doing something like we were talking about yesterday I think we're going to pull the plug on a project that we've gotten pretty far down the line with which to anyone else would be insane of like why would you give up that much money we both made the decision yesterday of like we actually don't

need to do this and if we're committed to only doing things that feel like a fuck yes for us why are we doing this and and making those decisions that also feels like nervous system regulation and opening my window for tolerance of like actually I get to do things that feel really expansive and fun I'm not doing them just because I need to be in safety or I need this or I need that so a lot of that stuff yeah yeah the the being an observer that's the one point that I wrote down as you're talking because I think that's something that doesn't feel safe all the time is to like to stop in the moment and just observe the feeling you're having and go I'm just like Lindsay slacking me could mean anything, right? But like, I have this nervous system flush of, oh shit, is it bad news? Or like, it has something

happened that now I'm going to have to fix. And I think like that is so relatable to so many of us where maybe it's not in work, but there's someone or something in our life where like we see their name pop up or like the bill comes in, like it's logging into your bank account. Like it could be so many different things. And there's that flush of the nervous system that goes like, oh shit, you know, and you have that. And instead of reacting and letting it spiral, you can go in the moment. You're like, wow, I'm having a physical reaction to getting a Slack message that Lindsay wants to talk. Like, wow, okay, this is probably because this happened to me. And if it is negative news, I know how to handle it.

And like really taking the in the moment opportunity to step out and observe what's happening. Like I learned this years ago in all my mindfulness training. And it sounds so easy. You're like, oh yeah, of course, like I'm freaked out. I'm just going to stop in the moment. And I'd be like, oh, you're just freaking out, Lindsay. training and it's it sounds so easy you're like oh yeah of course like I'm freaked out I'm just gonna stop in the moment and be like oh you're just you're just freaking out Lindsay like it's okay but in the moment that's not how it feels um and I think that is such an amazing practice of of being able to interrupt the pattern of like of the spiral

that then starts to happen for so many of us um and and this feeling like the other thing I wrote down of like we were talking about the other day of what's the point and like how many people we know in our, in our like friend life that are saying that have big successful businesses that are being like, yeah, I don't really like know what the point of this is anymore. And I'm like, wow, that's fascinating to me because I think when you're on this journey of entrepreneurship and business building and motherhood and like all the things a lot of us are so deeply in and like fulfillment of our ambition like that's really what it comes down to is like I want to fulfill my ambition and then there's so many people right now I feel like got got to a certain level of success and are like yeah what what's the point

like I I got what I wanted and like it doesn't feel that much different than like if I had a business a tenth this size and it was just me you know or or like I didn't travel as much or you know like all the things that they wanted they now have had and now they're kind of like wanting to go to a different set point in their nervous system and they're having these conversations of like should I just close my business should I change my business like do I just let my business run without me and I think it's so fascinating that like the collective is in this question of what's the point of of doing more and continuing to grow when what I really want is a certain level of calibration and to stay at this level of calibration like you're saying requires less stimulation and less like

less doing um so yeah i don't have an answer and i think neither do you like we're in this question a lot but but we also are like really living it and really holding each other accountable in the business to being like does this feel good like really really though does it and if it doesn't then what would feel good you know canceling it altogether, moving it out, changing the structure, all of the above. Like, and obviously we're at a, we're at a point in our business where we can do that and still pay payroll and be totally fine. And it's, I think it's still an invitation to everybody to be like, it's not worth like from, from people who have lived through extreme emotional fry related to their business, or nervous system fry related to their businesses, it's not worth continuing to push through something that you can already feel is calibrating you to, like, hypervigilance or massive scarcity, right?

And I think that's the thing. I took this away from the event I was at in Nashville too, of speaking to all these moms. I was in a room with hundreds and hundreds of moms and I'm like, you gotta, you gotta be like living your truth, you know? Cause if you're, if you're trying to do something calibrated to somebody else's level of success or somebody else's way of being successful, it's not in alignment and it's going to backfire. At some point it's going to backfire in your life, in your business, both in your body. And it's gonna backfire at some point it's gonna backfire in your life and your business both in your body and it's just not worth it and i know it feels maybe worth it in the moment to go chase the trends on social media and grow the following and get the big business but if it's

not truly what you want that level of over stimulation and hyper vigilance in your nervous system is going to catch up with you oh yes so much that and on the what you were saying around people questioning like is this all worth it why am i doing any of this we were talking about this at the weekend but a lot of times with these kinds of questions i always go back to maslow's hierarchy i know it's like such a basic framework but i always go back to it and one thing that i really do believe is a lot of us when we haven't regulated our nervous systems to be able to allow us to experience the most joy and the most peace and fulfillment and like we have those upper limits i think even the upper limits work is very very

related to your nervous system i think a lot of people get stuck in the basic needs section of psychological needs safety needs and even when you aren't having to worry about putting food on the table you're still stuck in your nervous system is still there so you're still chasing that next piece of revenue that next thing versus making choices from a different place you know what I hear from a lot of people is they will build these businesses and they end up getting so burned out from the business because they're not expressing their creativity in the business and I think a lot of that comes down to actually you're building your business with a nervous system that is still stuck in safety that is still stuck in needing to cover its basic

needs and your nervous system isn't allowing you to move up that hierarchy and actually work on the creative elements on working on what's going to help me self-actualize what's going to help me to develop as a human being I think that's you know the reasons that we're here is connection love and and developing as human beings whereas we get so stuck in that part of the nervous system and that's also i've noticed that in my whole business journey every time i'm stuck there i make decisions out of scarcity and fear and when i recognize that i can make more decisions from a place of this feels like something i want to do or this is a really good outlet for my creativity. And I think all of this is related to your nervous system and your window of tolerance and how good you're willing to let things feel and let things get.

Do you think, can you, I know you've done a lot of nervous system work. Like, how do you think about that? Yeah, no, I mean, it's exactly that. And it's, I always root it into the body I mean it's exactly that and it's I always root it into the body because my background in yin yoga like I always tried to I was thinking about this this morning like I haven't taught yin since covid because we had to close the yoga studio but before we closed like abruptly because the government said we had to I'm not bitter at all um I still carry that little bit of nervous system agitation. Um, I was teaching like

six classes a week, yin classes. And so I was very steeped in, in this conversation with regular people, all the people that would come into the yoga studio who weren't necessarily deep in inner work, who weren't entrepreneurs, who weren't like immersed in physical somatic practices the way you and I are. And, and I would teach to them through the yin practice, which is very slow and very floor-based, um, about where they, where this stuff is rooted in the body, because our nervous system is, is definitely going to manifest somewhere in your body, depending on what type of constitution you have it, you're going to feel it in your gut, you're going to feel it in, in your heart space, you're going to feel it in generalized tension in the body. And, and so much of it is this question of, you know, if you are,

if you're feeling it somewhere in your body, and you're pushing through it, you know, and that's such an American vibe, maybe it's British too. Like my body is an obstacle to overcome instead of the thing to listen to. Um, and that when doing nervous system work, I think it's so important to be like, man, every time I get stressed out about this thing, my, my left shoulder, like, you know, and like, we don't connect these things until you start to pay attention. You're like, Oh gosh, when I go down this, my basic safety things, or I get stressed about money, or I need to make this decision in my business and I avoid it. And like, but, but I, I get stomach sick or I get this weird knot in my shoulder or I stopped sleeping well. Um, or my

sciatica flares up. It's like, okay, these things are connected. So what, if you don't know the answer intellectually and you aren't getting it from your journaling like can you go into the body and feel where this stuff is coming from um and in the same way of like observing stimulus and response going okay when i think when i think in this way i'm able to stretch a little deeper into the tension. I'm letting to release a little bit more. Um, and yeah, so to me, it's all so connected in the body. And that's where I always encourage people to go back to is like all these questions we're talking about. If it's resonating, it's like, and if you can like lay on the floor and see where you feel it, because that's the place to start

and go get curious about the tension in your body you feel it because that's the place to start and go get curious about the tension in your body the other thing that i listened to recently um was saying like this reminder that we we carry generational trauma in our literal physical tissue because we were all eggs inside of our mothers who were inside of our grandmothers right so our the egg we came from was inside of our grandmother and if you've ever done any ancestral trauma work especially if you ever done plant medicine work you know the grandmother lineage is very very full of trauma for a lot of us like there's just stories in our ancestry we don't know about and I think when you that can be a heady thing to think about like this, this is too much. Like, I don't want to embark on this level of inner work yet.

Then my invitation is like, cool, go find it in your body. Like, where do you have similar tension patterns as your mom or your dad? Where do you have similar, like, physical manifestations of stress as your mom or dad? Like, that's an entry point to curiosity on nervous system. Like, how much of what you're carrying isn't even your own. So these are like all the things that come to my mind when we start talking about nervous system work. And I'm like, oh, Lindsay, it's not connected to business.

Like why are you guys talking about this? It's like, well, this is the stuff that is the level of like the magic unlock for the level of success that a lot of us want to be at. Success on our own terms right not money success not follower success like success in the sense of I make a great amount of money and I get to spend that money on what I want to spend it on and everyone in my family system feels safe like freedom right um I think these are the questions that you get to ask when you're when you're stuck

in the what you're saying the lower levels where you don't even feel safe it's like well where is this coming from where do i start i say like start in your body and start with some of these nervous system questions that we're talking about i directly correlate all of the success milestones i've had to my nervous system work directly like I can see all of that I would I can see where I was investing in my nervous system and inner work and how that reflected on the outside like when we talk about outer freedom it all starts within and like it all starts with how much success do you think you're worthy of how much success can your body hold so I think it's I think it's so much more related to business than we really even know one thing you also said which stood out so

strong to me was that we think the body is the obstacle and it's such a good point like how many of us feel certain things even like feeling that good instinct that something's not right and you push it down and you like push through we do it all the time and it's recognizing this stuff and doing this work I really really believe that our outer success is a reflection of our inner state and it's the mindset stuff and the inner work stuff isn't always the sexy stuff it's not talking about viral content it's not talking about your funnels but it is the powerful powerful work like anytime anyone's like how did you make your first million I always say the same thing and it was mindset work no question about it like yes the funnel was great yes all of that was great but without the mindset work that's the foundation the fuel

for everything else that then ensued and I feel that now with like I feel like the next level I'm moving into is being able to enjoy what I've built like I think I've been in such especially the past two years like so much fight or flight just trying to like resurrect what was not working and then protect it and protect myself that I haven't really stepped back to enjoy any of what it is that I've been able to build and turn around and I feel like that's my next step. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't

be happier because now everything is in one place so it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet, now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering boss babe listeners a 30-day free

trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe and all of that's going to start within all of that's going to come from that inner work to be able to then enjoy it in the outer side yeah and i think that you get to do that you get to enjoy what you've built and trust that it's it can still continue to build it right like I think that that's another fallacy or like myth of some of this this work is like well Natalie if you stop pushing if you just are like this is good enough and I'm just going to enjoy it now that it feels like somehow you're like leaning out and letting off the gas and that the business will go idle in the meantime. And it's like, that's not at all what we're saying.

That might be what we're saying if that's the right choice for you. And of course, like we would, we could do anything with Boss Babe, but in general, like how do you, that's not what you're saying, right? Like, I know that's not what you're saying, but I feel like that's the response that I would have if I didn't know you would be like okay so you're gonna lean out and like you're just gonna let it just stay at where it's at and not grow it anymore like are you gonna be happy with that in a couple years yeah exactly like that's what I mean by being able to enjoy it more is really enjoy what I've built and make decisions from that really aligned place of realizing like

yes when I bought the business it was in a really terrible place and we're not there now and we don't need to be making decisions based on where we were at and now we can be slower to make decisions now we can make decisions like yesterday from just what isn't feeling right and what isn't feeling like a long-term play, and that's really the place that I want to be able to get to, but definitely, like, my nervous system is being rewired for that, because it has been stuck in that previous place. Yeah, well, I mean, I think we're, like, we're so in this work, so it's, like, we're not, we don't have all the answers, and I don't know that we ever will because we're both so curious about like the edges and and we've been talking about that a lot too of like what are all these edges that we have that some of its private stuff that like won't ever make its way into the business

domain but but that we're both so committed to pushing into the work this inner work world especially nervous system work that challenges us to go out to these edges that are really uncomfortable and are places that like we avoid and we're successful enough that we literally could avoid those places for the rest of our careers if we wanted to. Like we don't have to go do that edgy shit. We don't have to say no to stuff. We don't, we don't have to ever be honest about all these things if we don't want to. But I think that's what I love about, about us and how we work is like we're constantly at least you and I you know we're in our team too we're pushing each other to be like really like do you really want to do this is this really the right thing like let's get curious

about it and it triggers questions and feelings in us that were like ooh I need to think on that I need to spend that I need to think about that overnight or whatever it is. Um, but I think that's such a gift of being in tune and in touch and like living really honestly into the inner work and the mindset stuff is that it's constantly evolving and it does affect the business. And if it has changed the business really positively in the last year for you, cause of buying it and doing all this work really intentionally and getting to here. And it might mean that we, yeah, that like we don't do certain programs that could make us millions of dollars, but are like, it just doesn't feel aligned right now. Or we, we bump things out that we were planning and we're really excited

about and now we're going to change the timeline on, you know? And I think that's the gift is like, if you're doing this work every day, the business never gets away from you. Like you never land in a place where now you're out of, now you're out of like connection and now it's dissonant in the business. And you're like, Ooh, this doesn't feel good. Amen. I'm so here for all of that.

And again, we don't have all of the answers, but it's just, it's so good being on this journey and just being able to be honest about it and also I really think we'd be doing women a disservice to not talk about this like we have made more profit just a few months into this year than we made the entire of last year and even we made more last year than the year prior right and we would be doing people a disservice if we were just talking about oh it was a funnel or it was this it was the viral content well actually it's been a lot of manifesting a lot of woo-woo shit there's been a lot of inner work there's been a lot of that stuff combined with the strategy and I think if we want to support women in building businesses we get to be honest about the whole

gambit of all this stuff so yes to all of that okay so let's pivot into some of the little hot topics that we had written down because I also been getting some dms I got I've been getting a few dms about this faceless business trend that I want to talk about so for anyone that's not sure what it is it's this like instagram faceless instagram accounts that basically post here's how much money I make with a faceless business account here's what it feels like to me someone literally posts with on without their face I make eighty thousand dollars a month here's how and they sell a course and that's how they make the money right like they don't it seems like a scam and it also seems so short-sighted doesn't feel like a brand doesn't feel like a brand doesn't feel like a

business doesn't feel like it's sustainable at all so there we go i'm calling bullshit on it what do you think yeah it reminds me of like the the covid era coaching um vibe that came out where there is one who i won't mention like one very well-known coach in the, in the space. And then like a whole army of people that were like part of her world. And it, and it was like, I always like bless these people. And I know that they have changed their businesses now because they've had to, but like, I called it like vapor. Like they would sell these, these programs that were like, you get, you get one hour a month of Voxer access, but if you use it, you're not standing in your strong feminine energy. Oh my God, I haven't seen this.

It's like $10,000 a month to have one hour of Voxer access. And I'm like, what the fuck? And then, but they would post receipts on their Instagram of like, I'm making $875,000 a month selling these type of programs and I have such like powerful women in my circle that are my clients that they don't even need to use their coaching because like just making the investment is empowering enough that they know what to do and I'm like I don't like this like

I don't like this psychological thing where it's like if you if you want to use the coaching that you're paying for you're somehow weak you know and I feel like it's all related to the same trend on Instagram of like showing an obscene amount of money that you can say you make anything but not really building a real business around it and then creating like this scarcity mindset and preying on on the customer that's like well if she can do it I can do it and and she's telling me how to do it so I'm gonna invest in this program so that I can do it like her but then you get into it and you're like I, I don't want to face this Instagram. Like I want to, I want my customers to know me, or like, I don't want to sell $10,000 a month coaching programs and then shame my clients for wanting to have used the coaching. Like none of that feels very in integrity. And so, yeah, I think

like this is the darker side of Instagram where there's no way to validate any of these numbers. And so, yeah, anybody can post that they're making any amount of money. And how would you know that they're not? And and like they're praying. I think a lot of it preys on like this get rich quick or like it can be super, super easy to make obscene amounts of money. And anybody who runs a real business is going to tell you it's not easy to make a lot of money. Like it can get easier as your skills get better. And as you build more systems into your business and you learn your market and you do it for a while, but like, it's not easy to just turn on in the

faceless Instagram account and make a hundred grand a month. Like that's not going to happen from 99.9% of people. So yeah, I don't, I don't love that trend for, for how it preys on like the, the, the scarcity mindset that so many of us have. I also don't love it because of just business principles where I'm like, don't you want, I don't know. Like, I just think connection is what's going to win ongoing and in any kind of business. And I think customers, I say this all the fucking time, customers are so savvy that like over time, if they don't see your face, they're going to, they're going to lose trust in you. And, and you don't feel real to them. And I think if you want returning customers, you want to feel

real to them. They want to, you want them to know you and they, you want them to see themselves in you. And if you're faceless, like it's really hard to relate to somebody so I don't I don't like it it's also somebody asked me at the mom conference about the MRR thing oh my god don't get me started it's like a pyramid scheme scam situation well and it's kind of the same feeling of like okay like learn how to post learn how to use affiliate marketing like we know lots of people in our space that like make tons of money from being affiliates of programs. It's absolutely a business model. And like, again, it's not a get rich quick scheme. Like you've got to build authority. You've got to have a following that trusts you. You, you, you have to have people that are like, I love Natalie

and I see how she lives her life. And so the products she's using are products I'm interested in using. And like, that has to be really an integrity. And I feel like a lot of the MRR accounts I see are very, I'm sure this is going to trigger people because I've seen people saying this, but like, it's showing you a get rich quick scheme. Like, it's like, just do this and post this and put it up there and people are going to buy it. And it's like, that's not how it works though. Like you don't have a following, like who's going to be buying from you. You haven't built authority. You haven't built community. So you, you can't just like go build Canva templates and post them on Instagram and make 10 K like that's not how it works. And I just think it's like

unfair to the customer or the person who, who's seeing that and being sold to, to tell them you can make 10k overnight by just doing some canva templates or whatever so I just I don't like it all of it feels not in integrity with the ethos that I believe businesses about which is like community service and bettering your customers life like solving a problem for them and I don't think that any of like the get rich quick or like any of these showing that how much money you make and telling people it's easy to do it the way that they've done it I don't think any of that is like in integrity with

community building or um like serving truly serving betterment of your customer oh i couldn't agree more for anyone that's like what is mmr basically it's like mmr this seven dollar course so people are buying this seven dollar course and then they get master resale rights where they then go and sell this seven dollar course and the course is like how to make money online and people then buy the course stop posting saying i'm making a hundred thousand dollars online by this course and then other people are buying it and it's like this whole pyramid scheme it's a total scam not into it at all like you say it just goes against all business principles and I think it preys on people that really do need a cash injection they want to put food on the table

they're looking but like it preys on people that maybe don't fully understand how this whole thing works and I just don't like it at all. Not a fan of that. Not a fan of the faceless. I just think if you want to get into business like really think about like what you say what problem are you solving? How do you want to approach it? If you don't want to put your face on social media do you want to build your business off

of social media? You have so many options to you but building a long-term sustainable business isn't going to happen overnight and you are not going to get rich overnight and if anyone's promising you that run run so fast and also when you were mentioning about the covid thing holy shit that's the thing like i have literally seen people post online um of like investing coaching with me and just being in my proximity being in my energy is going to make you money no that's not how it works no I feel like we can talk about it now because I think most of those people I that I used to follow that were selling in that way have really changed because I think that like it stopped working bless everybody everybody's hearts. But like, yeah, proximity as the sales pitch.

Like, yeah, in a mastermind where you're selling, like you're going to be in a room with 30 other people. Like when you talk about proximity in that context, I like it. Like you're going to be in a room with 30 other women. Like, yeah, you want to be in proximity with other people like you because you do absorb and learn and get connections and do networking. But like proximity to me that you get like you pay me money and you get to be in my proximity like i wouldn't make sense i'm i'm not going to sell you that because you're not going to get anything

from being in my proximity you might get something from coaching with me definitely you'll get something like if you really invest in working with me and then you do the work with me you'll your life will change. Like absolutely a hundred percent believe that. Like I would sell you and I's coaching all day fucking long. I would never sell to someone, send me money and get in my proximity and your life's going to change. Like, I don't believe that I've never experienced that. And I would never feel an integrity selling that. And I hated that whole fucking trend during COVID and I know so many people that fell for it and like spent so much money on coaches and then couldn't access

them or like felt guilty accessing them I'm like this isn't coaching like that's good good coaching is someone who you like regularly speak with and and get guidance from and gives you feedback like what so anyway yeah that's my soapbox and now it's been four years I can say this and not name names but like man that was tough to watch wow I don't think I've seen that during COVID because I was just like so busy you guys were crushing yeah boss babe was crushing it but selling courses right like actual courses with real content yeah but I but I have seen it since yeah and i'm just like always shocked i'm like you're not jesus christ being in your energy is not is not the thing that's going to

help take someone from no business to a million dollars in the next month like i've seen all of this i just think it's so interesting and i do think the sharing of constant numbers on social listen I get it we share numbers like we I get that that is often necessary to really demonstrate hey here's where I actually have been if you're wanting to join me like let me show you the receipts here's what I can support you with I think that is valid but there's some people every single day it's a receipt it's a receipt it's a receipt but you don't see any of the methods like okay well what is it that you're teaching are you just selling people on the fact that you make money every single day by telling people you make money

every single day or is there substance to it do you have a framework are you teaching something of substance how are you supporting people's lives what is the problem you're solving and i think ultimately all of this it goes back to what we talk about when we talk about making long-term decisions yeah make long-term decisions to be here for the long run because trust me speaking of nervous system it's going to feel a lot better on your nervous system if you're not always looking having to chase after the next sale and wondering like what thing what's gonna what your business is gonna look like a year from now like if you know you're building something with longevity that every year it builds upon itself that's really powerful and that's also a bit of a nervous system hack but oh my god i feel like

there's so many of these that we could get into no i think that's like the tough love advice though like like you know do you do you like i'm sure that there's people that are making gobs of money at MRR, gobs of money at proximity coaching, gobs of money at, you know, gobs of money, shiny object, shiny object, online business and good, you know, fine. Like, go get that money, girl. Like, I'm all for it. And tough love for ninety nine point nine percent of us. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. You don't have the audience built. You don't have the authority built. You don't have the chops and entrepreneurship to stick it out when it gets hard. And all of that is why like you got to do the nervous system work first to know like, okay, so, so that you can trust your intuition. Like this is what I'm on my rant about recently is like, get a kill. I think a lot of it, We see, we see these kind of like get rich quick things, or we see the like easy path and our nervous system goes, Ooh, ease, Ooh, comfort. Ooh,

that looks easy. Like that looks easier than doing the hard thing of building a real business. So I'm going to go do that. And I'm going to believe, even though my body is screaming at me, that is probably not possible, not going to work like, or that there's something about it that doesn't feel right. I'm going to, I'm going to go ahead and override that. And I'm going to believe that it can work for me because she's saying that you can make 10K a month with a faceless Instagram or 10K a month with MRR. And like, for some people they do for sure, but they probably already had followings. Right. And so like, I'm just saying you got to, the tough love Lindsay advice is like, you you know it's probably not going to work because you're not selling you if you're selling you and you're selling your truth

and you are selling something only you can do give it enough time that's going to work because what people want is the truth from you they want to see you in alignment they want to see the cool thing that you have that's different than anybody else they don't want to see the copy paste instagram posts they don't want to see a faceless instagram where they don't know who you are like they want to see you and that's ultimately what's going to help you solve their problems and if if you think you can get around that and you're special you don't have to do the hard vulnerable work of building a business and failing at some stuff and looking stupid and getting over cringe mountain and all of the things like then maybe don't go into business because those are the things you're going to have to do

and it's hard fucking work and it is nervous system work and it's uncomfortable but you get to a certain point like where we're at now and you've been through enough of those hard moments and you go okay I don't love those hard moments. Like, God, I don't want hard moments. But also, I love learning. And I've gotten to a point now where I when a hard moment comes, I know how to handle it. And I know the right decision. And I and I know how to get curious and trust that it's all going to be okay, and that I am safe. And I think that's what I want for everybody in business is that they know that they're safe in their business, even if it gets hard or something doesn't work or they have to pivot. And you know, you can trust your business to keep you safe. And I think that's what we're saying is like most people are not there. And we've even been in not there recently, you know, so that's my that's my rant on all of it is like, choose the harder path, choose the harder inner work. Don't fall for the easy scammy stuff. And you're going to end up on the other side with something that will last and will actually be long term fulfilling for you. Amen.

Also, how long do you give it that we start really helping entrepreneurs with their nervous systems? I feel like it's happening. Oh, it's already. We're already. It's already coming. It's brewing. Like people need this work for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. It's happening all right well this was fun as always catch up love it i love when we get a little rant going we get we end up on a rant that yeah but it's i hope that like i hope people love a little tough love like i don't get upset by like if they are in mmr or whatever and i keep calling it MMR or faceless like all we're saying is let's build something with longevity let's build something that you feel really proud of yeah and honestly like I said this to someone who asked me about MMR at um at the event I was at and I said what are you an expert at and she said you know something around sleep training babies and I was like why are you not selling that like is that what you want to talk about is that what you're and she's like yeah but you know I don't have an audience it's not I'm not ready blah blah and I'm like every minute that

you don't spend on selling that thing that you're passionate about and building authority on the thing that you want the longevity business in every minute you spend chasing something that's the quick fix to to band-aid you is is a minute that you're out of alignment right like you're not doing the thing you want to be doing you're not solving the problem you're here to solve so like do mmr if that's or mr whatever it is if that's if that's what you think you need to do but i think you're doing a disservice to yourself and to your customer because you've got passion and expertise in something and you're putting it aside to chase the shiny object. And she was like, oh, but I feel like that's the tough love. You know, I'm like, we want you to succeed. I want you to make money. However you make money. Awesome. I would just love for you to be doing

it in a way that's sustainable and authentic. Yeah. And also that's your nervous system subconsciously looking for chaos, continued chaos chaos because it doesn't trust that there's no window of tolerance for things to get really really good it all comes back to that yeah okay it's coming from us i don't know what it's going to look like but obviously we've got eventually who knows okay well this was fun we will see you guys next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.