the bossbabe podcast - 406. Stop Vilifying “Being in Your Masculine” for Women, Nervous System Regulation, Activating Your Feminine + Building Aligned Businesses with Emily Gallagher

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

Emily Gallagher joins Natalie on the podcast today to talk all things embodiment. From the pattern of chasing, work addiction and burnout to the feminine/ masculine, dating energetics, and somatics - today’s episode goes deep into how you can break the cycles keeping you stuck and instead step into a whole new level of expression, authenticity, and pleasure in your life. If you’re a high-achieving woman feeling overwhelmed from doing all the things, press play because this one is for you.  TIMESTAMPS 0:00 - Teaser 1:03 - Intro 2:28 - Slowing Down 6:23 - Chasing + Achievement 11:28 - Work Addiction + Burnout 14:18 - Nervous System Work 18:48 - Feminine/ Masculine  26:58 - Dating Energetics 36:18 - The Muse Program 42:38 - Somatics 47:38 - Tools To Interrupt Patterns 56:58 - Titration + Tapping Into Your Full Expression RESOURCES + LINKS Learn More About Emily’s Awaken The Muse Program.  Join The Société: Our Exclusive Membership To Help You Build A Freedom-Based Business. Get Our Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More.  Drop Us A Review On The Podcast + Send Us A Screenshot & We’ll Send You Natalie’s 7-Figure Operating System Completely FREE (value $1,997)  FOLLOW bossbabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie Ellis: @iamnatalie Emily Gallagher: @iamemilygallagher

What was it? Only 50 years ago that women couldn't open a bank account if they weren't married? Wild. Isn't that crazy? It's wild. What does that tell us as women? You are not worthy if you are without a man. Really, the more we come into that too and really support like the range and the spectrum of womanhood, it's just such a beautiful place to get to. There's shaming everywhere. Oh my God. All you need to do is scroll Instagram for five minutes.

Feminine's got to look a certain way. You can't be too masculine but you still gotta take care of yourself and it's like oh my god and that's really not the way we should be looking at it whereas you're right it's about what's true and embodied for you being able to really know that you can be with yourself in the fullness and be okay no matter what there's a richness to that this remembrance of how powerful we are as women is so important. I love it. I feel like all of this conversation has just come back to having the choice. What has changed my life fundamentally has been like really having the courage to step into a life that is yours.

Welcome back to the Boss Babe podcast. Okay I got to sit down with a friend of mine, Emily Gallagher, while I was in Lisbon. She is an entrepreneur and over the past few years, her entrepreneurial journey has really changed and evolved from being in that hustle burnout phase to actually being in a place where she's building a business that feels really aligned and lights her up. And I wanted to have her on because I feel like this conversation resonates with a lot of us, especially right now. We've talked about it a lot, but I think during COVID, a lot of us went all in so much in our businesses and have dealt with the burnout and fallout from that. And a couple of weeks ago, I talked about functional freeze on the podcast

versus burnout, and it really resonated with a lot of you. So we're diving in a little bit deeper in this episode to what it really looks like to be able to regulate your nervous system on a regular basis, how to pivot your business if it is feeling really misaligned, and what it looks like to be able to tap into both your masculine and feminine energy both in life, love and business. I hope you love it. Let's dive in. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks babe. I'm so excited to be here. I honestly wish we just put a microphone between us at brunch the other day because it was two hours of non-stop. I'm thinking wait I just want to replicate that for this. know well but i feel like our two-hour

brunch could have been like six hours so we'll just like pick it up and like there is still so much more we're gonna talk about i love it so one thing that i the place that i want to dive in in this episode is actually a place where i know a lot of my women are yeah and that is you know a couple of years ago we were talking the other day and you were saying it felt like you know you needed to slow down a little bit but you didn't yeah and it's almost like the universe is like if you don't listen I will make you listen yeah take me back yeah to where you were at that point talk talk to me about your lifestyle your business just where you were at that point.

Yeah, such a strong point, even just there. It's like life will create the situations for it to happen. Do you want it to happen on your terms or will you just like be kicked into it? And I feel like for sure I was like kicked into it. I was, you know, multiple years into running my business, super driven by just like, and I know we'll get into that, like the proving, the chasing, the creating, like I've got to keep getting over there, that place over there when I'll finally like land, right, in my life. And I was planning like four international events. I'd just come back from overseas of running events in LA and London. And I was planning my TED talk. I was doing rehearsals. And there was just so many things. It was just all these things.

And there was just one day when I was writing in my journal and I was like, all right, when I get through the launch, the events, the TED talk, when I get through, just in that moment landed where I was like, I'm literally just getting through my life. I'm just ticking all these boxes in the hope that someday, all of a a sudden I'm going to arrive in my life. And it was just like such a sobering moment for me because also at that time I had basically with all of that happening, I literally got to this point where I didn't get out of bed for like three weeks. And I'm someone who like, even when things are going on, I'm always okay. Like, I'm always like, all right, there's a lot going on, but like, I'm okay. And it was like, whoa, I really tasted this feeling of like, maybe this

isn't okay. Like I really felt that. And I was so unmotivated, nothing meant anything. I just couldn't find the energy to get up and get going. And it was just that moment where I realized like, I'm, when's the moment that I landed my life and allow myself to actually be present there um and that really was a big you know we spoke about this the other day like a big initiatory moment of when like how I was living my life on that track kind of started to come off and go okay I think I need to like slowly go on another track um and really sobered me up into realizing like okay what I'm doing right now is not sustainable and also maybe isn't the way I want to keep moving forward in my life I relate

so much to that moment of when you were journaling and you started to realize you were just kind of moving through life towards this finish line and the finish line is what death literally and we are chasing you know i will be happy when i will feel more secure when i will be confident when yeah and i remember this exact more i it's so funny because i feel like those moments you always remember where you were totally i remember this exact moment for me and it was just being so busy so much going on i remember noami was actually sick at the time. It was about six months. It was the first time she'd had her first flu,

which it's just such a big deal. Everything's a big deal when you're a first time parent. But I was, I had so many meetings in my calendar. And for some reason I forgot I was the boss. So I'm like, I have all these meetings in my calendar. You're like, I've done this. Yeah. And then I took a beat just in between zoom meetings and took a breath and realized wait

a minute I'm in a beautiful house with my soulmate husband the most gorgeous little baby what the heck am I chasing yeah and it's so interesting you're like I what am I chasing what's there and for me it was like a soul- soul searching moment of figuring out where that came from. Have you ever gone back into childhood to think about when you started the busyness and chasing? Yeah. Oh, have I gone into childhood? Well, babe, yes. I mean, that's like, and I know we speak a lot and I know we'll get into it, like the nervous system work. And like, there's so many little flip-offs we can have from any one of these conversations. But literally I remember, it's so crazy. I remember being like five years old and, you know,

the vision of like, oh, I'm going to grow up and be a ballerina. Like I literally remember having the thought that I want to grow up and be a CEO of a multinational corporation. Me and you would have been besties. I know, happy besties. We're like, this is the vision. And I just remember like having that thought from like such a young age. And it was just this like, yeah, it was like this driving and this achievement. It was really like achievement focused. Very, very much like I was a, you know, high performing student. I got scholarships to university. Like it was just very much like that was the the metric

and also like I think being fellow Capricorn too like finances improving like it just was very much like a underpinning energy um and and also you know it spun off into we talk about this in our program like these these key hooks like achievement was one achievement finances, body was one. And again, that came in so early on as well. And then just like these hooks that my sense of self latched onto that I needed to then start chasing that became like a through theme for like my whole life, but literally from such a young age. Talk to me a little bit about what that means, those hooks, because in your program, I'm a student.

Yeah, so good. Talk to me about what that means, those hooks. Because in your program, I'm a student. Yeah, so good. Talk to me about what that means. Yeah, totally. Well, and it's like what you just mentioned before, which is such a big thing. Even if one thing lands from this podcast, I feel like for people to slowly wake up to realize that when I, then I'll mentality that is so insidious that runs through everything. And so when I talk about hooks, my big, big, big hooks that again, I've only just slowly started to bring them back into that, to that,

like I'm already there energy was like my body. So it was like always my entire life, my sense of safety, my sense of self-worth, my sense of okayness was hooked out onto, oh, I've got to look this way. Oh, this is how I've got to look. My body has to look this way, da, da, da, for me to be safe, loved, worthy, all of that, right? And then the same thing with like finances, achievement, da, da, I've got to be someone, I've got to prove my worth, I've got to like, and those are those externally placed anchor points for me feeling like safe and alive and worthy in the world.

And of course, when it's out there, you just never get there because it's, it's, it's hooked onto something that's entirely, um, it's not sustainable because then it's always like for me, my body, that means I spent 30 years of my life dieting, exercising, binging, restricting, overworking my body completely, um, outsourced and contingent on something that was never gonna like allow me to fully drop into my life and especially when we're talking about so much of this work of the muse is like embodiment and bringing women back into like that felt and lived experience of themselves and of their lives and also feeling safe when we're completely disconnected from our

body like there's no way for us to ever really fully land there so I spent like 35 years of my life completely disembodied and like at war with almost like the felt experience of my life so I know that's like a big meaty place we could go go on But yeah, we're going to get into all of it. So going back to when you were five and you're like, I'm going to be a CEO of a mega company. Were you seeing that around you? Were you rewarded for achievement? Like, what was it?

Do you think that even had you think that's what you want to be? Yeah, it's a great question. I mean, I think that there was definitely like a, I think there was something that was innate like you know we talk about like seeing kids when they're born like these little innate things that are kind of there um within them I think there was something that was innate and then there was also of course there was validation for uh but it came really early so I don't think I

was heavily conditioned yet into um this is what makes you worthy but I think once you there was like that innate sense and then of course you start chasing that and then you get validated for it. So it strengthens and it strengthens. And then you realize, you know, because you're being brought up by parents that have their own version of the world that they think is going to make their child safe if they become this version of a person. And so it started to become validated. And then it started to be, you know, we spoke about this the other day, when a way of being actually is working for you, then you actually like, oh, no, this works. It's good. I'm achieving. I'm creating. I'm moving forward in the world. And again, there can be that fine line when something's really effective, but then also when something starts to like override.

100%. It's like talking when we were talking about it's like this achievement addiction, this work addiction and it's such a powerful addiction that rewards you positively you know when you're drinking alcohol or taking drugs or anything like that not to compare it but those things have very negative side effects yeah whereas being addicted to work which so many of us are now, it rewards you with great paychecks and an amazing life. And you're like, oh, poor me. Got that old work addiction. Look how that's working.

Like you don't often want to change that because it works so well. But then, like you said, you ended up in bed for three weeks. Yeah. Just so burned out and exhausted. Yeah. Was that, when you were saying you were in bed for three weeks, was that a burnout point for you? Totally.

It was just like so much overwhelm and holding so many pieces. And I think it was also just a piece of like the breaking point, right? Of like also decades at that point of being so, because really what it represented was a nervous system that was driving all of this, this like this grasping, it's a grasping, like, okay, I've got to get a little more money. I've got to get a little more achievement. I've got to get a little more data. And so there was always like this activation of, I've just got to get over there. Like, and for decades, right? Like that was what ran a lot of the achievement. And, and, you know, I know you talk about this on the

podcast too, like for a lot of entrepreneurs and a lot of high performing people, there's a lot of the achievement. And, you know, I know you talk about this on the podcast too, like for a lot of entrepreneurs and a lot of high performing people, there's a lot of that, that's actually driving it, right? Cause it does has a positive payoff because it allows you to create success. And coming from that place can only get you so far. And I think that was, that was how far that nervous system strategy got me. And then it was like we said earlier, life gave me the opportunity to go, okay, is this how we're going to do things moving forward? Because the thing was, I could never fully feel anything that I created, right? Because it was never enough. It was insatiable.

Like, okay, more, more, more, more, right? Which is why I ended up with four international events, a TED Talk TED talk a launch all these things on the plate at the same time um so yeah I forgot what your question was but no that's perfect and that's the thing for a lot of us it's only sustainable for a certain amount of time and thank goodness because for some people they only realize they didn't live yeah until it's too late yeah and so to realize this so young for us i think is incredibly powerful and i think that's why it's so important to talk about because for me i grew up with nothing and my nervous system went into overdrive of money is safety so i need to create safety and it was always you know one thing in my head I would have savings

and I would always think about okay if my business goes away tomorrow I'll be okay for x amount of time yes I can do six months I can do a year whatever it was and I still have to catch my it's not like one and done like I still have to catch myself in that thinking because my nervous system grew up like that and it's so ingrained so let's talk a bit about nervous system yeah stuff where was your nervous system at and how did you start to recognize you know that it you needed to do a bit of nervous system work or a bit or a lot yeah a bit or a lot and like to your point there too like it's ongoing like I think you know it's like you especially when it's wired a certain way like just it's

a practice to just continuously bring ourselves back to that center. It's not like, ah, regulated nervous system, boom, done, you know, done forever, repatterned forever. Obviously it gets easier and you get like a new anchor point for where you live. But, you know, and I think just kind of during that correlation, I know you speak it on here a lot, but just as well around that safety piece, like that's, that's really this whole nervous system work, but I wasn't even aware of it like at all. And I had been in personal development. I mean, by the time I had had my sort of meltdown, I was like maybe only like five or

six years in, um, but doing like doing a lot of the work, but not from really that system energetic embodied or like emotional level. Cause like I lost my dad when I was 24 that was one of the catalysts to get me into personal development um but still I don't feel like I really allowed even the emotional aspect of that until maybe like 10 years later because I didn't have the capacity again in my system like in my nervous system to really feel safe in being able to hold that. So like the nervous system work, it's such the missing piece for especially like creating sustainable shifts and how we can show up. But for me, when I was coming from my head the whole time, like the proving achievement, all of that, I wasn't even aware of this thing. Like I wasn't

aware of the reasons why I was acting out the patterns because in my nervous system, it was wired for that graspy, chasey, slightly anxious energy. So it was just for me, just felt like that's how I am. Like, it's like, oh, this is just how I am. This is how I show up. This is how I am. There wasn't even an awareness that there was a different way or that there was a piece of this work that I was missing, which is all this nervous system work and this embodiment work. That's why we focus so much like on the embodiment. Because for a woman, it's like the experience of our life and our wisdom like lives here, like in our body.

But if we don't have, again, like even the awareness to know that we can access this new, it's like a whole new gear. It's like, oh, wait, like a whole world of things that I can start to shift and move around. But again, it's not something that we are taught or talk about or have examples for. And I think especially as well, if it feels like we have to choose between, and that's why I love that you're focusing on this so much, like a high-performing amazing woman showing like oh we can still create things and still be like regulated and soft and in our bodies doesn't have to be either or yeah yeah 100% I think that's really important because when we talk about the nervous system work we can also

dive into your feminine and masculine and I think all of that really encompasses this somatic work and I think it's really important for women like us to talk about it because I also will say I have been put off in the past from exploring this work because of the way it's been yeah kind of spoken about you know I think there are some people that will talk about getting in your feminine and no mention of the masculine at all and it's like yeah being in the masculine if you're a woman is wrong yeah and and the shaming have you ever felt shamed for being oh my in your masculine like i've been actively told by like certain people i mean not anymore so much but like for sure it's like it's it's in it there's

shame embedded in that like yeah you're so in your masculine you're so in your masculine like I've had that story for so long and then the feminine masculine thing you're like you're so right there's so many layers to it and that's why even in the work that we do it's like we'd call it integrated and embodied wholeness for women because it's like we need both if you're just in your feminine like that's a mess you know like totally both are beautiful but there is this stigma and shaming of like and there's also a total misassociation of like for a lot of what we women even within ourselves I think until we come into this confuse masculine with hypervigilance and survival and those are two very different things and they get put in the same bucket and then we shame ourselves for being masculine it's like no no we're just we're in our nervous system patterns of like

trying to survive and being hyper vigilant and they're two very different things tell me about that yeah well it's just like again now that we're kind of i think the the the world of feminine and masculine work is becoming a little bit more um open to. Like, cause we had the big, the boss babe era and the, you know, conscious boss, that was my business. And like very much like in the high performing woman era, which is yes, all day for that. And now we're like in the softening, right? Of that. And we're welcoming more of what it means to be feminine in, but not even just to be like, we have a resistance to this in our program too. It's not about just being feminine. It's about being about being a woman it's like how does being a woman look like for you and like being able to have you know for the masculine it's like strength containment decisiveness um like wholeness being

able to hold and create your own safety within yourself um but hyper vigilance is like so often confused of that because we're when we're in this like hyper producing proving like I think about me and my poor conscious boss era like building the businesses doing all the things of course there was like uh masculine in it right but there was it was the the energy behind it was grasping controlling hypervigilant never like never actually feeling safe always needing to produce to like finally like get and that's not masculine energy right that's hypervigilance and it's survival and and there's a total difference i am so freaking grateful that you're bringing this up because yes yes yes i hear this all the time and it drives me nuts because what you're talking about is doing that nervous system regulation work

and that being the foundation for even being able to explore what it looks like to be in healthy masculine what it looks like to be in healthy feminine and for a lot of us who are really high performing high achieving we probably do have a really healthy masculine yeah because we grew up in a patriarchy we We grew up seeing examples of CEOs mainly being men. So we had a really great example of that. And so there's a lot of healthy masculine within us where we can set goals, we can set deadlines, we can really go at them and achieve them. We can take care of ourselves. We can be incredibly independent. i think that is such a wonderful trait that women have now and i think it gets to be celebrated versus shamed and then the feminine element like you're saying

when you do that nervous system regulation work it's a lot of us didn't have a healthy feminine because we grew up in a patriarchy and you often see the feminine as submissive yeah as weak and when you have those connotations you tend to move away from that and move into the thing that's safe yeah and I I realized that actually at Hoffman we've both done Hoffman I talk about Hoffman all the time it's so powerful and I honestly went into it thinking I had like more daddy issues more like around the masculine and going into it it was the opposite for me interesting and I had so many negative connotations toward what I thought the feminine was but Hoffman was the beginning for me of of really regulating my nervous system and it's

continued since but doing that has allowed me to then feel safe enough to look at what the feminine is and integrate both. And I think that's the powerful thing is integrating both so that actually we can get that amazing presence and vulnerability and creativity from the feminine alongside being able to go out there and get shit done. Yeah. What is your experience of the feminine and how do you explain it yeah it's such a great question because I think the landscape of masculine and feminine is like so nuanced and so deep and it's like a it's like a bucket that you could you could just go and swim in for so long like truly

and and that's why like in the work that we do and that I've sort of come to know that even sometimes I like I sort of just mentioned briefly before, have a hesitancy of like even saying like, this is feminine, this is masculine, right? Because it's like, again, sometimes there's shoulds in it and there's conditioning and there's stigma and it's like, okay, so if I'm not that, am I not a woman? Am I not feminine? And it's really about like, for me, I think really having the sense of empowerment to to really choose for you like how do you show up and what feels really good for you and that again like really interplays with that inner sense of safety and that regulation I think they play really beautifully together because

we you know I know for me before I sort of came to this work there was a moment where I felt like um I couldn't like I was almost like waiting because I'm single, right? I'm single, I'm dating. And that's been a whole thing for nervous system work. Wow. But it's like, I was waiting almost like to be saved. And I was kind of in my, like, we sort of call it like the shadow feminine. Because again, I was almost like my masculine or that sense of inner containment, because if we think about masculine and feminine, really like if we're to give a basic concept and especially how it interplays within ourselves, it's like the masculine is like the sense of containment

and then the feminine gets contained by that and feels safe. But also like we have to do that within ourselves. And that's why this work is so powerful because when we can create that inner containment and safety, right? The regulation, the strong sense of masculine, now having our own back discernment boundaries, all of that, then the more feminine side of us can be more expressed, right? And so like sometimes there can be this, just like a lack of, when we don't have that full safety we can't allow the fullness of ourself to come on and really being able to have both of those because it's not about um oh now i just want to be in my feminine and and like just there's just it can be a lot of like stigma around it and i think it's really about like who are you in your wholeness like who do

you get to be in your wholeness and how does that look because again like now that there's all this feminine exploration now it's like oh now all of a sudden we have to look and be like that but it's like you get to create your own anchoring within yourself and then show up how that feels really good for you because something that um that exploration has done for me and we see a lot in our program with Muse too, is also like when we take that shame and stigma away of how a modern woman is supposed to show up, how, like what comes online for you when you give yourself permission to be that? Like for me, it's like being like really allowing myself to receive, feeling softer, feeling more vulnerable, feeling like a little bit more traditional in terms of what I'm looking for in a relationship. And like, there was a lot of stigma around that before and a lack of like self-worth to know that I could

receive that, that doing a lot of this work has just, again, it's allowing the fullness of what feels good for me to come online and not even needing to label it a type of way. That makes so much sense. So I'm hearing it's more what's by design not default yeah like if you were to choose to have the choice of how you operate what would you choose versus just operating the way you always have by default yeah and it's like it's so much of what has changed my life fundamentally has been like really having the courage to step into a life that is yours, right? Without even the labels and the stigma and the shoulds and the conditioning. And it's like, if none of that was quote unquote true, like who would I be? How would I act? How would I show up? How would I

allow myself to experience my life? And that's why sometimes these, they're so helpful to talk about because it gives us anchor points and concepts. And then it's like, we have to kind of go, okay, take it to the point that it's helpful and then like allow it to be like, okay, who do you now, what do you choose? How do you want to show up without again, feeling like you have to fit into another box or take another thing? Because I think there's a lot of that happening in the feminine world. Like now we were shamed for being too masculine.

Now we're not feminine enough or it doesn't look like that. And's like oh my gosh you know when does it stop oh my god all you need to do is scroll instagram for five minutes and you see it there's shaming everywhere feminine's gotta look a certain way you can't be too masculine but you still gotta take care of yourself and it's like oh my god there's so much advice out there yeah whereas you're right it's about what's what's true and embodied for you and i also love that you're let's get into the the dating stuff and this in relationship because that's definitely been something that i've been on the journey of learning because as part of diving into the masculine feminine dynamic even seeing those words you're the algorithm's gonna start showing you more of that content and i was seeing so much of you

need your man to lead you you need a man who does xyz and the way you guys would describe it in your program as well that's you just put a putting a hook on a relationship that i will only be in my feminine if he's in his masculine yeah and that's really not the way we should be looking at it yeah tried it doesn't work yeah yeah you're like tried it trust me but yeah doesn't work yeah and if you need somebody else to change or be a certain way for you to show up how you want to show up I think we're doing something wrong totally I mean and that's the thing like I realized because so much of so much truly if I boil down a lot of like what's shifted for me in our program of Muse it's like allowing figuring out how you can be fully alive in your life right now and not assuming

somewhere over there once you tick all the boxes and everybody behaves right and all the conditions are perfect that you can fully like land in your life and have the experience because again it's contingent on something that's inherently unstable and outside of yourself so if your experience of your life of your relationship of yourself is somehow hooked outside, there's no sustainability to that. And there's no inherent safety, right? And we keep talking about that. But to feel really safe and landed in your body is what gives you the experience of your

life that you really want. Because you can be present, you can be attuned, you're not contingent, and you're more resourced and so again we talk about relational dynamics um that was one of the pieces that i realized was a really insidious and it's so many women come into our program for relational stuff right because as women we're very relational so we want to figure out like that's just a big piece and the nervous system stuff is so key like me after being in the work for so, like over a decade, 15 years, right? It was only about two years ago that I realized,

like where I sat, because I was like 36 or I'm 37 now. And I was like, all right, I've wanted partnership for a long time. I'm still not in the type of partnership that I'm looking for. Maybe this is something that, maybe there's something that I could look at, right? And that's what dove me into really looking at the ways that my nervous system was wired for

what I was calling it, which was unavailable, you know, men that wouldn't really choose me that I was grasping for. And that was when I really started to notice and look through because the thing is the way that we show up always makes sense. Like why we are the way we are. If you sit down with someone and figure out their story, our patterns, our defense mechanisms, all of that always makes sense, right? They are there because your system thinks that acting this way will create safety for you in the world. And what your nervous system and your body thinks is safe oftentimes doesn't correlate with actually what creates a great life right so my body's like yeah unavailability in my system that's safe because my dad was unavailable he was in and out of our home it was it was emotionally unstable and so within my system as we i know you

talk about nervous system work a lot but that's wired in so then therefore that's when my body that's where my body wants to go to create that. That's what feels normal, right? That's what feels safe. And so the nervous system stuff is so key because I, last time when I was doing a lot of this work and I was really actively working on going like, okay, so that pattern doesn't work for me. Like I know that that's not what I want to call in. I knew I had to really do that work to repattern, being able to have the system that could hold the type of

relating that I desired and it was wild to me to see because logically I'm like oh yeah I of course I want an emotionally available person that chooses me and cherishes me and feels safe and and when that person showed up my system was like oh it's like what's this we don't like it and I had to like actively read like and I was getting support in it but I could really I could tangibly feel like holy wow like I want this thing but yet my I don't have capacity to hold it and that's so big with the nervous system work and that's such a big thing that we do because it's like you can want something like beautiful relating being seen being held being led like even these pieces like being led I wasn't even the space to hold leadership or being like to be soft or to be receptive to that and so you actually have to really look at and it's

pretty easy to notice because you can just look at like okay what's showing up what's continually showing up and also like what's maybe a story that I've had for a really long time that hasn't shifted? And that's going to give you a really good like telltale sign of like, what's normal and safe in my system? Because we can want something, but if something else is continuously showing up, it's a pretty good sign to say like, that's where my nervous system feels comfortable um and there's no no greater way to see that than like in relationships um but but again like having that's why having your own way and place to regulate because i think as women we definitely can get in that loop of like the man will be my safety or like i for sure had that like he'll save me like there's a little bit of like that wounded feminine that can get into that um and fully

being able to be that like become your beloved first and foremost and then have that anchor point of like okay so how do I then choose to relate from that place game changer for me yeah what what do they say wherever you go there you are yeah right that old chestnut but it is true it's those themes in your life and and they do often show up for me they've shown up so much in say business relationships yeah where it's been very similar patterns and you have to then take responsibility and say if I want different I need to regulate to different clearly there's a reason I'm not just getting bad luck there is clearly a reason this same thing keeps happening over and over again girl that the honestly one

thing you just did that's so key is the self-responsibility it's so fundamental to like all of this and it's it's inconvenient right because it like, it's so much easier to kind of go, oh, they did that, this did that. If this happened, like we're sort of trained in that more of that mindset, but everything shifts when you can finally actually go. Like me at 35, I'm like, oh, maybe it's because I travel all this.

There's no good guys around, blah, blah. It's like, all right, girl, maybe, maybe you've been choosing the wrong guys and you've been running the show and like we could shake some things up but it's like that's when everything can shift because then again like I feel like for me so much of like what makes me so passionate about this work is it's like it gives you access to fully become alive in your life right now and when we're when we're outsourced and we're out hooked and we're not taking responsibility, the experience of our life is always somewhere over there. And something

changes and somebody else acts different and dah, dah, dah, dah. And it's like, it's actually just all like, and then we say this saying, it's like nothing has to change for everything to be different. And it's crazy. It came to me in a plant medicine ceremony, like 2018 in the midst of my shit thing shifting. And I feel like it only really landed for me fully to understand it like a year ago into this work of this, like your experience of your life, the conditions, the partner, the business, your family, your body, all of that, like, that's not the thing that has to change for everything to shift and it's like we were talking about this the other day like the internal texture like the texture of our lives in my life it's fundamentally shifted from doing this work because you can land in your life right now

and have the experience of your life without all of those other things having to shift and ironically they still shift because how you show up in your life is like so much more powerful and attuned and like tapped in and discerning and strong because you're fully resourced. So those things still change, but your sense of the experience of your life is no longer like reliant on that. That is so powerful. And actually just hearing that it's making me think of so many things in my life where actually my nervous system pattern has been to make big drastic changes growing up I was always moving house always moving school that was always a fresh start yeah and it changed things and that was great so my nervous system has always related to if you don't like how something is going make a big change whether it's change your

relationship change where you're living get a different house a different apartment a different business but what i've really noticed is what you're saying nothing has to change for things to be different is when i sit in that really uncomfortable place of all right you might want to move house right now or you might want to divorce your husband because he's annoying you right now he's blending a smoothie again exactly actually if you can sit with this edge and do the work your nervous system is going to become more comfortable and you can actually change without having to move your life yeah upheave your life yeah but it's not easy sitting with that edge and doing the nervous system work girl which brings me to muse because this is a really really powerful program and i love alexi's been

on the podcast a few times i love the way this program was born i think any of the best products and services are born out of solving your own problem yeah so what problem was it solving for the two of you yeah totally and well, we'll loop back in because to what you said needs to be underlined. Like whilst this work is almost like simple, like once you get, you figure out how important this stuff is, there's tools and practices

and ways you can start to really regulate and create this capacity, but it doesn't mean it's easy. It's awful. It's awful. It's like, no wonder. And that also loops back to your point as well of, of, you know, the productivity. And again, we live in a society that values,

like that values the outsourcing of the discomfort, the shopping, the food, the porn, the overachievement, like the achievement is just such a socially accepted one. But there's all these forms of externalization that are just a part of our society we don't have a society that is that values oh being a really resourced regulated human and there's a reason why that stuff is so prevalent because it is so uncomfortable to sit with your edge and just sit with that like discomfort of what you're in and and to answer your question with lex and I that was really how this was born like we both at the same time went through this like life life initiated us right because we you know both of us believe that life is always inviting you into your next expansion didn't know that at the time it was

just like never do no you're just like in it going what is happening and we just really had this very very intense you know she was in Austin. I was in New Zealand. I had just lost my auntie. And I was just in this stage of my life where I was like everything internally, like it felt gray. It felt I was crying every day. I was like in this deep unknown, but like, you know, thinking all my friends were angry

at me. I felt alone. I felt betrayed. There was just like all of this intense emotion and Lex I know she's spoken a bit about her experience on the podcast and she was going through her own version and it was hell like it was just a really deep emotional time but it was almost like it was so intense that there was no escaping it right it was like the it was you know we talk about inside of news about unkinking the hose right because as a society and as women we're so used to and pushing down a lot of the our emotional landscape which essentially when we allow which

is the discomfort we fully allow we feel it which is like when we want to squirm and get away from it it it expands us that is a part of the expansion of what allows us more capacity to be the fullness of ourselves and to be full in the world. And I feel like life just really cracked us both open in our own way. And it was getting through that and almost like not having a choice but to sit, but to feel, but to be essentially like initiated by life into the into that experience and kind of coming through it and supporting each other through that and then getting to the other

side of it and feeling more alive more attuned more full more radiant more turned on like more just like whoa and just being like holy what is this like what is this feeling of our life and again it was that nothing had to change for everything to be different because we just felt like who is this person like and and again like nothing had really shifted but our ability to feel and hold and be fully lit up in our lives was like night and day and we're like all right something and we were sitting around the pool at Soho House in Austin and we just had this conversation of like what would it be like what would it feel like to be the muse of your own life and from that we just sort of started on this further journey of um just really following that desire and what lights us up and what feels good and and then from there realizing that that pathway

actually wasn't a substitute for work or achievement it was like the new way for us to actually like follow like oh this feels good oh and also look all of a sudden like that's what led us to creating this business and that's why I'm so passionate about really being attuned and to this like new way where it doesn't have to feel like, you know, and following that as woman and allowing that to be the texture of how you create instead of like there's such a conditioning of one day, you know, one day when I have done everything or fully safe, I'll go to the dance class or I'll figure out what turns me on or I'll figure out what means something to me and really trusting like through that process we realized that going through that journey is the way to all of those answers but that's very countercultural it is it's very countercultural because I feel like even when we get into so much of this like not having a lot of energy maybe not having huge sexual desire so much of this can be put down to your hormones your hormones are off your diet's off you're not doing enough of this and listen i'm massive biohacker so i believe in

all of that and as a biohacker i will say some of the most profound shifts in my health have come from deep somatic work yes most profound yeah because when we look at the issues and i'm saying this is not a medical doctor and this is not medical medical advice but when we look at all of the conditions that we have as a society now versus you know many many years ago yes we're using more chemicals and shit and all kinds that we ever have and when you look at epigenetics and you really study how that shows up in generations and that trauma yeah that's really freaking powerful but it's really hard for people to fully grasp because it's this kind of deep work that you can't see in a blood test yeah whereas you can

see the hormones being off in a blood test you can see you can feel your energy being off you cannot see in a blood test this generational trauma that's still lingering in your body yeah and so as humans we want evidence and we want to look for it or we want a quick fix this stuff isn't a quick fix for me anytime in see your mama we have a lot of somatic ceremonies and anytime we open that kind of ceremony i always kind of share what somatic work has done for me and how it's changed my health and my life um even when we were talking the other day about joe dispenser when i went to his uh advanced week long i manifested being like one there was 20 of us selected out like 2000 where we got to have brain

scans and blood work done before the event and after the event and all it was quote unquote all was meditation yeah but seeing the change in your blood markers yeah was phenomenal yeah so i like to preface that just because i know we do have a lot of people listening like okay but i need the evidence natalie and my hormones are off cool and like you're talking about being turned on by life, feeling, experiencing life more than you ever have. So much of this, you weren't necessarily, you know, changing your biomarkers through supplements and red light and all that stuff.

So let's talk about that piece of it. What kind of deeper work were you diving into? Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform kajabi you know i've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity which i love not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place so it makes collecting data creating pages collecting payment all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year.

So, of course, I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible i definitely recommend kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering boss babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe yeah claim your 30-day free trial. That's Kajabi.com slash Boss Babe. Yeah, it's a great question and such a great point. And I think it also really, for me, loops into the point as well as like we're so habituated in being externalized.

Like, okay, so if the doctor tells me in this supplement and you know better than it's like, again, externalizing our wisdom, our intuition, it's like, and it's all like, let's use everything we can. Let's use everything we can, like let's use everything we can, but let's also really trust and know, like we're always our biggest, like our intuition life. Like if we're attuned, we're going to see and know like what our next step is to like get to where it is we want to go, whether it's health, whether it's in our life and really like bringing that, um, that wisdom and that trust back in as the center point, even to

know which supplements and which people, because like, again, that was like me dieting for my whole life. Oh, this thing will tell me what I should put in my body instead of like, what does my body ask for? And really being able to, and you know, Joe Dispenza talks about this, you know, your nervous system is more powerful than any pharmaceutical or any like we have so much power in there um and in terms of the work honestly like so much of it is what we mentioned about like being being fully available like the feeling the space the sitting

in the the leaning into like the the mental awareness firstly is like it's a combo so you have to sort of have some awareness. Like the decades of work that I did before is obviously not helpful because I was very aware of my inner child, of some of the patterns that I might've had. So having that mental awareness of, and you can just look at your life and see, right? Go, okay, that's a recurring theme, right? We have a lot of people that you can see relationally like oh they keep calling in toxic partners or abusive partners and then it's like oh you look up and you go oh mother and father were addicts and so that's the the blueprint so you can look around

your life and see what some of your patterns might be and then truly like so much of it is like sitting and the moment you want to you know i have a saying like sitting. And the moment you want to, you know, I have a saying like the activation is the invitation. So when you're feeling, oh, your husband or at like looking at your bank account, like that, that activated state, which is that dysregulated nervous system, instead of the reflex, like yelling or shopping or dah, dah, dah, get is, okay, I'm being invited right now into like the capacity my nervous system has. So like, how do I sit and hold and heal and feel what's there? Like, that's the thing. It's not like, it doesn't have to be so complicated. So much of it is that. But again, that's also really uncomfortable. And then, so that's really

what I was doing, like really being available and a yes to what was like all of that discomfort, all of that pain, sadness, grief, like the heaviness that needed to like essentially make space because for however many years of my life, like 30 plus years of my life, I was totally disembodied and disconnected. Like I mentioned, I barely even cried when my dad died. It was so numb. And so there was just like almost like backlog. It's like, you've got to let like whatever was there move because it's just stuck energy. And then when we move that, again, we talk about capacity and becoming more resourced in our system. When we clear out what was there, then we have more space. So we're therefore more resourced. So, so much of it comes

down to that. And then the rest is just like, you know, nervous system tools, like what gets you back to feeling more safe, feeling more resourced. You know, there's tapping, there's inner child work, there's meditation, there's getting in nature, there's embodiment practices. Like that's so much of it is really just getting you back into your body, into feeling safe. So you have more, more of your resourced self to come online. And so whatever that looks like, that's really the work that I was doing. I love this so much so for someone listening who notices they have a pattern of let's say getting triggered by their partner and they notice the anger come up and instead of feeling it one of the biggest numbing tools I think is scrolling

Instagram or like on your phone just being busy on your phone picking up your phone if I start this long enough it'll calm me down. How's that working out for everybody? That's it. And I think it's numbing out to what the actual emotion is. What tool would you recommend? Say someone's used to doing that. They feel an activated state.

They pick up their phone. They start scrolling till they feel calm again. Let's say, okay, the pattern interrupt is you do not pick up your phone. You leave your phone right there but if they are very new to this work and generally feel this well I'm just angry and it's stuck in my body how can they get to the root of that yeah such a great question and that's the thing like it doesn't have to be it there's not so many bells and whistles because the thing that makes it feel because I think a

lot of people also are afraid that if they allow it, it's never going to stop. And if they allow it, they're not going to get like, it's just too much. And so there's so much there, but really when we fully, like the irony, when we fully actually allow it, it passes through way faster than if we're just habitually pushing it down and we're constantly da-da-da-da and that's why we're so reactive all the time because it's right there. And when we actually allow it, we're just habitually pushing it down and we're constantly, and that's why we're so reactive all the time because it's right there. And when we actually allow it, we're just, it doesn't have to take so long. So again, I would offer that invitation of like the activation is the invitation. So rather than that person has done this thing and sitting there in the story of like, I'm

pissed off and they didn't show up and they never choose me. Like that is the invitation into something that's just alive within you that is not from that moment. Like it's not from that moment. So really just honestly, it just can be so simple and just prefacing. It's not always going to feel comfortable. That's why you want to go on your phone, but you can just start in micro moments, like just pop your phone down, start to just like, like close your eyes, start to just attune to your, pop your phone down start to just like like close your eyes start to just attune to your to your body and start to just get like uh familiar with your own sensory landscape right so what that means and by the way i was the person that hated doing this

like when people would say where do you feel that in your body and i'd be like what body what for what feeling what are you talking about, you should drive me wild. Because I just, I didn't have any connection to like my, and when we're talking about this work, especially for women, like bringing back sensuality and connection and intuition, like all of that like lives here. And so building that connection. So I would just start. And like, if you don't feel anything, if you feel numb, if you're not, that's also just information.

Like it's a practice. I think that's such a big thing. You're not just going to instantly know how to regulate your nervous system or fully be attuned with what's there or be comfortable, but just slowly starting to build that practice of getting connected to what's alive. Like you might be like, okay, I feel like often I feel something in my stomach. I feel a tightness in my chest. I feel a little bit in my throat and you're just starting to like give space for what's alive. And you're also giving permission to be there because it's just a sensation. It's just a feeling. And for a lot of us, it's stuff that's never been felt that just like wants a moment. And then we can obviously add on

like inner child work too as a whole other aspect of it. But often when we're in that activated moment, it is the little one it's that version of us from a long time ago that never had the space to feel and never had the resources to to know what to do with all of that energy I think about my little my little me growing up and like you're a little Natalie and like that chaos and in that house and don't have the tools like to to be with that energy so when we're older and we're more resourced, that's the practice we can start to be in is just to really allow, ask ourselves what it is we need and really tend to it.

And that's how we slowly start to create that inner safety because we are capable of giving ourselves all the things we're thinking that life needs to give us, like that will never sustain us any more than like really giving that to ourselves. So it's a long-winded answer but it can be just as simple as what am I feeling where am I feeling that and also being like trying not to get into the story stay with the feeling versus the story of it what's an example of the story like like um oh my gosh like he he always does that.

And like, I always, I feel, I feel betrayed. I feel, I can't trust anybody. Like, oh my gosh. And then the story of all the things starts to add, like add more emotion and just really like allowing like, oh, okay. I'm feeling activated. I'm feeling this energy. I'm feeling like anxious.

I'm feeling, uh, alone. I'm feeling scared. I'm just allowing it, like allowing. I'm feeling alone. I'm feeling scared. I'm just allowing it, like allowing, giving it some space. And then it just like, it moves. And then you're more resourced, right? I think that's so, so powerful. Because like you say, we don't need all of the gurus. We don't need to have our hooks around on that coach and that therapist and that person.

Yes, all of these people are useful as tools in your toolbox yeah but i even say this when anyone comes to me for business advice i always say listen i'll give you what i think but no one knows better than you yeah no one knows but you know funnels i don't yes but i don't know your business better than you i don't know you better than you yeah and i think that's the important thing that we all have to recognize is we all have so much innate wisdom but it's so much easier to listen to somebody else and think well I can't start doing this work until someone teaches me how yep and it's like well have you just sat and listened to your body have you given yourself a chance to show how in tune you already are yeah and what you already know yeah But a lot of us don't because we

are taught to look up to teachers and look up to people that are in more authority than we are. Totally. Yeah. And it's like a piece of self-trust, right? Because when we don't have internal safety, it's very hard. Like we have sometimes had students that will say to me, like, I love how much faith you have in my adult self. Because like, there's a lot of like, you know, holding space for your little one when you're in these activated moments. But often it is when you're in these activated moments, it's not fully resourced adult you. It's the fear and the uncertainty of like this, this little one that doesn't have what she needs in that moment. And then we get to tend to it. But within that too, is that feeling of like, oh, do I trust myself? Like, can I really hold space for myself? And that's,

again, a muscle and a practice. But again, until we cultivate that, it does, it feels safer and easier to trust you because I can look at what you've created. And so therefore, you know better than I do. So I'm going to trust you because I don't actually know if I trust myself and I'm afraid of what might happen if I trust this little whisper. And I think that that's, again, so much that we'll keep coming back to. It's a practice. It's a practice. It's a muscle.

Like the more that we, and again, doing it with like low stakes moments, like start to practice this in those little moments where you feel activated, start to trust your discernment and your intuition in like little moments and start to really notice like, oh, I had that little insight and I did it

and it worked out. Like, you know, and really over time, starting to cultivate that sense of trust within yourself, I think is such a big thing for women because we do have more of this inherent, that person knows better and, you know, let me trust you because I don't actually know if I have my own back.

So good. Yeah. And it's, I always think, just think about, you know, do you trust yourself to listen to a friend when just think about you know do you trust yourself to listen to a friend when she's really upset do you trust yourself to hold space for her it's like oh yes I'm very good at holding space for everyone else so why wouldn't you be good at it with yourself yeah yeah it's and it's just it is it's just inherently a really uncomfortable experience and so it's just knowing that but but it also like, you know,

titrating, like give yourself space to, to build up. Like I'm at the point now, obviously I'm not perfect. And there's many times where I'll get activated, but I have a lot more awareness now too, of going like, okay, super activated right now. Definitely not going to reply to that. Like definitely not gonna, you know, act on in that activated state and that's such a piece of the practice too of like you know not taking that as truth and allowing yourself to get back to a space until you can be more like trusting of your own decisions but these days I'm a lot more comfortable with that discomfort like over time you do because start to, this for me is what so changed the game and really feeling like I can trust myself, that I can trust life, that I can live, you know, I'm 37, I'm single. I've just moved to an entirely different continent. Like,

you know, in a lot of ways society would tell, would judge me and think that I'm not like a success, you know, at this point of my life. But like these practices has been such a fundamental piece to really allow myself to trust myself to live the life that really matters to me um and it's these practices and having this building this muscle and this capacity has been such a crucial piece of also really cultivating like deep self-attunement but like self-worth because you know like at the end of it like i've got me and not in a way that's like, and of course I have my moment.

But like being able to really know that you can be with yourself in the fullness and be okay no matter what and really have you, there's a richness to that that is so powerful that the more that we get into this work and we cultivate that um it starts to feel like more sweet to be in those practices this is so good can you explain what titration is yes great question so titration is basically just like slowly over time essentially like expanding your capacity so um we talk about this like massively in nervous system work so it's like for example an example of titration for me would be like as someone who had like a lot of body image stuff for my whole life like i never used to have my arms out i never

used to like i would have more things like my so much sensitivity because like my my my nervous system's like you're being seen we're uncomfortable and so it's instead of like all right i'm gonna go and walk out on the street naked and blow your nervous system out right it's like oh maybe at this party i'm gonna wear something that i feel a little bit um seen in like a little and you get your nervous system and then over time your your sense of safety within your like yourself expands so it's just like a lot and so it's the same thing with like the emotional work the regulation like you don't have to sit there and just blow yourself out and feel everything but can you titrate can you sit with it a little more than maybe you did

yesterday can you sit with it and slowly over time you fully expand your capacity and your nervous systems range i love this yeah okay and then another question that I have for you, you mentioned a couple of things earlier. You were talking about dance class. What are some of the fun things you've done that really has gotten you into feeling more of your full expression? What are some of those practices? I love that question.

Yes. I mean, dance classes have been really big for me. And it's interesting, like this journey of Muse has actually fully awoken me up to like wanting to like perform and almost like really start to create like a bit of art out of it, which is so crazy to me because I've never been someone that's felt like I'm creative. But I feel like this has been the flavor that's come out of really allowing that. So, I mean, I've been going to dance classes since like 2019. We lived in LA.

I was going to a lot of classes there. That's been huge for me. And especially for the titration, this one style of dance class that's like really more embodiment focused and actually doing solos in front of people. Which, by the way, the first class I ran out of because I was like,'re gonna what now excuse me absolutely not like because my I was like no way and now like that's why it's so wild when we create that range it's like this whole other version can like come out because it's like there's safety in it um so I was totally the person that ran out of that class and then last you know we're at dinner at that place the other night here. And I share this just the reference point of like people that are like, I could never do that. And it's like, I could never do that either. You know, and I ended up at the show and

literally giving this person a lap dance, which cause it was drawn, it was like this cabaret show and my system could hold that. And that was so like wild and amazing and fun for me so that's been really big for me um but also because I had this desire and I share that because that's for me like it's so different for everybody like the fun thing that your muse maybe wants to play with um is I always was like I want to be that woman I want to be the woman that has the capacity to not want to shy away from that I want to be the woman that has the capacity to not want to shy away from that. I want to be the woman that has the capacity to like be seen in that way. So I've just kind of like followed that little, um, that little excitement, um, and, and the sensuality and the dance classes, like that's definitely like a piece of my flavor. Like she's

a little like, you know, I say like drip drippy, she's dark, she's a little dirty, she's like really sensual. So I just follow like that feels like a really fun expansion for me. Like I'm very much into, it's really just like liberation, like feeling sexually liberated, feeling sensually liberated. Like that's what feels alive for me. So being in the environments where I feel like I'm expanding that edge feels really fun for me. I love talking about this stuff.

Have you seen Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders on Netflix? No, but I've seen that you've been watching it. So let me talk about it. So I'm obsessed. If anyone hasn't watched it, you have to watch it. It's amazing. But watching it, I just had such, it was like this overwhelming feeling of being proud to be a woman because i was watching these women just absolutely in their element i mean the way that they can dance and the way that

you know you can't help but just be in their world they bring you into their world and I had such a moment of the feminine is so fucking powerful preach because I don't know about you but I don't want to watch 36 men in skimpy clothes dancing yeah I would be so uninterested you absolutely couldn't stretch that out for eight episodes I mean sure a little bit of magic mic here and there love it but eight episodes of watching all of that I would be so uninterested and that's not me shitting on men that's to say there is something so beautiful and most importantly powerful about women and about the feminine and i love that we get to have these conversations because for so long it has been shut down and shamed i mean what was it only 50 years ago that

women couldn't open a bank account if they weren't married wild isn't that crazy it's wild that's like yesterday like not even long it's not that long ago you could not have a bank account if you were not married yeah what does that tell us as women you are not worthy if you are without a man yeah you are not uh useful in society if you are not with a man or birthing children and to see women in this day and age be so self-expressed and celebrated for it i mean yes we have a long way to go but it was so powerful for me and and coming back to that that's why i think the work that you and alexi are doing is so powerful because this remembrance of how powerful we are as women is so important and we've only seen the feminine as weak and submissive because we've been shown a certain

version of it yeah it probably did feel very weak and submissive to not be able to open a bank account and the biggest one thing you said on the musical was the biggest and best wish you could have for yourself the biggest dream you could dream was to find a good man to marry yeah it's like let that land isn't that crazy yeah and look at us now we are sitting here podcasting having our own businesses like you said move to a different continent we are living lives that our ancestors and it makes me emotional but our ancestors could never have even dreamed about for us yeah and i think this is just important because we're doing the work of figuring out okay what does it look like to to bring the feminine and masculine together and actually be a powerful woman in today's society

so I'm grateful that you're doing this work and I'm just curious for you because you'd mentioned um you know moving to a new continent you are single right now you're actively dating and you were saying for some people in society they could look at you and think oh well she's not on track yeah how is that feeling for you being able to do this work and tap into what you want yeah and just like like everything you just said yes like oh my gosh for just I think especially the more attuned and more self um worth that I felt for myself the more appreciation I can also cultivate for the feminine like I'll see a beautiful dancer a a beautiful woman, and it's like, oh, like, yeah, just in awe of the feminine. And I think that's such a big thing too. Like we have a lot of women that come to this work with

like sister wounds and woman against woman. And I think really the more we come into that too, and really support like just the range and the spectrum of womanhood, it's just such a beautiful, beautiful place to get to. And yeah, I mean this, and it's, it just, I think really empowers me to, to just continue to like, again, the world is changing so much. And again, like we live in a society that still favors ticking a box versus the quality of your life. Like I could be married. I could have children. I could have a house. I could have the white picket fence. I could have all the things that society tells me makes me a good woman and be miserable. And we see that time and time again, right? Because that's, there's a lot of that pressure and you have to be very resilient and

committed to like still choose your alignment in this world that says, this is how it should look, you know and there's definitely moments where I feel like oh man 37 and single and everyone's married and you know I should be in a different stage and I have to remind myself of those things like you could have all those things but like would that be what's true for you and I think really like that's such a big piece of I guess essentially like you know with Lex and I she's married with kids and and more stable and I'm the the dating well, gallivanting around the world one. And we both bring our magic of what that really shows for like, what's true for you. And I think that's just a big piece of my mission with

this work is like, what would it look like to be the muse of your life? Like what is really true for you? Like what makes your life great like the the texture of my life and my availability for how present and attuned I feel in my life every day like you could not swap that out for anything like you could not tell me I would be more happy if I like I would never swap that for this and I think it's like again like you said our ancestors never had that choice and never was on the cards and so the more of us that are really living in attunement to ourself that's how we shift what society looks like like oh these people that are doing that oh I didn't know I could do that oh okay great like I never said that I was going to move to a like I've lived in seven countries

I never was like oh I'm gonna move to another place but being being comfortable with creating that safety for myself being attuned to life seeing that life was like making that decision pretty clear for me it was like okay so I trust trust that you know um and so that's a big piece of yeah I think what I bring to the work too it's just like what would it look like to choose you you know I love it I feel like all of this conversation has just come back to having the choice yeah and knowing that you have the choice to actually build something that feel like you said you could have it all on paper but be miserable yeah and actually what are you choosing how do you want to show up

how do you want to spend your day how do you want to operate it comes back to the choice not what society tells you and I know there's a lot of women listening because I see it all the time in my dms who think they're behind whether it's because of relationships whether it's because of kids whether it's because of um they've been in corporate all their lives and then just quote unquote starting their businesses now and i all i had such a realization for myself when i was wrestling with wanting to just slow down and step back once i had noemi and i had this big story that if i slow down i'll be behind yeah and i had that i like really sat with that and i was like what the fuck you talking about behind what where are you trying to go you racing to death like yeah but i had to sit with myself

to have that moment to realize there is no finish line that this is it there's no test run this is it yeah yeah and so i love love love that you shared that can you tell everyone where they can find a bit more about muse and you did fft so hopefully your sales page is now looking yes so spot on literally coming on the up and up so excited about that well and like the nervous system the nervous system work is what allows you to have more choice because you're more resourced to actually have the capacity to choose versus like reacting and feeling like and again like that that behind thing it's similar to the starting over like I don't want to start over and it's like that concept is crazy how could you be starting over you have all

of this experience all of this self-knowledge all of these things like because I think that that feeling can limit a lot of people too like I don't want to start over and it's like you are bringing so much with you what you're in the best place you've ever been. You have all of this life experience. And, and I think that one's a, that one's a really big one as well. So we have a, um, which also goes into the titration piece. So, um, you can find that at awakenthemuse.com forward slash boss, babe. That's just essentially a free training around that titration process to really like master the art of receiving like really being able to receive more in your life and more fullness um and then muse um we're on

instagram muse revealed um and just awakenthemuse.com and yes we have a very sexy amazing funnel coming because we got natalie's support on that so very excited for that and what about your instagram what's your instagram yes so my instagram i recently rebranded from my conscious boss it felt like such a moment you know when you like rebrand from this old version of you um so i'm just i am emily gallagher i love it i'm in muse i freaking love it i have to say what you've both created is phenomenal it really really is and i do truly believe it's not just life-changing work but society-changing work it's big thank you for that and there's something about this work that feel like it's there it's probably the most potent thing I think for either of us like there's an energy about it and I think

it's because it's just something that like women are wanting the life is asking for it like there's energy in it that's like it's so not us creating it it's just like oh my gosh it feels so alive um and absolutely i think it's like the the generational piece we've had some feedback around that and it's just yeah thank you for that feedback and um yeah it's it's really an honor like it's an honor to be in this work and with the women that come into it it's it's beautiful and and yeah so excited that you got a taste of it and that like, you're being such a beautiful example of like a high performing, high achieving woman that still wants an amazing life. Like it's not, I think it's big to like,

it's not, you can't still achieve and can't still create that, but like, how do you do it in a way that still feels really beautiful and you have such a great influence. And I love that you're, you know, really being an example of that for so many women too so thank you shout out to you on that thank you and one thing I noticed because I always have my funnel hat on even when I'm going through programs and I was like who's their demographic because I'm always I'm like I'm like what's the hook what's the webinar what's the funnel and what I've really noticed about the demographic of muse and I'm just calling this out just in case anyone self-identifies as this but um it's really those high performing women often the breadwinners yeah who have just done life a certain way up until they are not able to continue doing it that way anymore and I'm just listening to the calls you

know a lot of women in that burnout phase a lot of women uh who are the breadwinners and feel like they can't soften for that reason because they are holding so much responsibility and so it's just been really interesting to see that and I'm excited to see how your funnel comes together thank you I'm excited I'm so excited to have your support and such an honor like have you in the space and and you know it's always really beautiful when your friends know your work and things like that too so it's um yeah it's it's it's like we sort of joke as like it's how to woman well like you know it's like it's not it's like the school of how to woman well because it's like we you know again we resist from just like the feminine like aspect it's just

that that's often a big piece that it's like that more atrophied muscle that women are coming to to it on but it's like how do we how do we move through the world as a modern woman in a way that feels so good to us not the script not the program but like to you inherently and really figuring out what that is and then having the capacity to like move forward and create from that place um yeah so it's such a gift i love it well thanks for being here. Thanks for having me.