the bossbabe podcast - 41. Do Less and Achieve More While Building a Successful Business and a Happy Family with Lindsay Dobson and Aja Kichula of More Gatherings

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

In this impactful episode, Co-Founder Danielle Canty is sitting down with Lindsay Dobson and Aja Kichula of More Gatherings. More Gatherings is the ultimate mom gathering – a 2-day online conference taking place on October 22nd - 23rd, 2019 – bringing together 18 thought leaders and experts in the parenting field in order to support the modern mum. Lindsay and Aja are lifting the lid on all things motherhood and starting an extremely important conversation on navigating the world as ambitious women while finding balance with being a mom. They share their first-hand experience of building a side hustle whilst juggling their growing families. You’ll learn how they manage to do less and achieve more – aka the ultimate recipe for turning your dreams into reality! They share actionable organizational, mindset, and time management tips as well as insights on why a community and support system are so important. Whether or not you’re a parent, there are so many powerful takeaways from this interview. Use code BOSS20 for $20 off your ticket at www.moregatherings.com Discover how to grow your audience on Instagram by 10,000 ideal clients in 30 days: bossbabe.com/ig-growth Apply to secure your place in the incredible Success & Soul Leadership Program: https://www.alyssanobriga.com/soul-strategy-success-application/

Being the best at motherhood is accepting help because if you can't fulfill yourself, you can't fulfill anybody else. I think it's realizing that when you become a mom, your life still resembles a pie. So being a mom is just a piece of that pie and to feel fulfilled, you have to fill all of the other pieces and everybody's pie is going to look different. You could be a badass mom and a badass business owner. And we think it's great that you can do both. Welcome to the Boss Babe podcast, a place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of building successful businesses, achieving peak performance, and learning how to balance it all. I'm Danielle Canty, co-founder of Boss Babe and on this episode we will be lifting the lid on all

things motherhood and just starting an extremely important conversation on navigating the world as ambitious women wanting a career or business but also juggling that with being a mum. And as neither Nassty or I actually have children yet we invited on Lindsay and Asia from More Gatherings to share their first-time experience of building a side hustle whilst juggling their expanding families. You'll hear in this interview how we got all the giggles as they shared their stories of sneaking out of rooms to do work, bribing their children with cookies and just generally having a good laugh at this roller coaster journey we call life. And you'll also hear how they've learned to do less, learn to change their schedules,

to make time for their dreams, and also learn to accept help. But like the rest of us, they are also just trying to figure it all out as they go along so for this week's episode I'm choosing this quote be strong enough to stand alone smart enough to know when you need help and brave enough to ask for it whether you are a mum or not I think this is a really clear theme from this conversation and what I know lots of us need that little gentle reminder of and if you love and resonate with this episode which I'm sure you will definitely check out Lindsay and Asia at moregatherings.com where you can find all about their ultimate mom gathering coming October 22nd and 23rd which is actually a two-day online conference bringing together 18 thought leading experts in the parenting field

in order to support the modern mum. And you'll hear in the story when I'm interviewing Asia and Lindsay, they actually created this because they have six children in between them. They were having to do all this research and they wanted to create a more formal platform to showcase it. So if you would like to join in, like I said, the conference is two days. You can use the code BOSS20 for $20 off. And they also give another code during the interview as well. And you will gain access to all 18 sessions. And you'll also receive downloadable links after that you can watch in your own time

or rewatch over the year afterwards. So every pass holder will have the opportunity to join their ultimate mom gathering group afterwards so that they can continue the conversations too. So there are a ton of downloadable workbooks that you get access to as well and loads and loads of takeaways as well as the group. So if you are interested, like I said, head to moregatherings.com. But in the meantime, I hope you love the interview. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise. Keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas.

It's just believing in yourself. Confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. Well, hi ladies and welcome to the Boss Babe podcast. I have to say I'm very, very excited about this episode because today I know we're going to be really lifting the lid on all things motherhood and just starting an extremely important conversation on navigating the world as ambitious women, kind of wanting to start a career or a business, but also wanting to be a mom. So thank you so much for joining me, both Asia and Lindsay. Thank you for having us.

Thanks. So before we dive in, I thought I'd just give you both an opportunity to briefly introduce yourselves and let our listeners know how you met and how More Gatherings came to be. Yeah. So thanks, Danielle. Lindsay and I actually met in a birthing class when we were both pregnant with our first children. And I think because our kids were the same age, we just ended up hanging out a lot. And we started talking about how this was our first time being a mom, yet we still didn't want to give up our old life. And we were trying to figure out how to balance the two and how to still remain part of our old self and integrate this new mom life that we were

so new to. So we just started talking about on long walks about our passions and our dreams and our goals and what we would like our lives to look like in the future. And that's kind of how we came up with creating this business called More Gatherings, where we were having online events of topics that we love and being that we're so in the thick of things in motherhood, that was our first idea for our event. I love that. Lindsay, do you want to share yours? I think Asia covered it there. We met in a birthing class and we had so much in common right off the bat. Asia and I both struggled to start our family. So we had some commonalities in that we went through some infertility treatments. And so when we had our

first children, we were nervous. We were so nervous because we'd wanted it for so long. And now I have four children under the age of four. Oh my goodness. That's all you can say about that. We just had twins. So we have four month old twins at home and a two year old and a three year old. So that keeps us very busy. But like Asia was saying, we realized really quickly that although this mom life was going to keep us very busy and we'd have never-ending questions and so much to talk about, we also wanted to be cautious to not lose our old selves and still have other things to talk about besides just diapers and muffins and all the things that come with mom life, which we love, but we were really conscious of keeping our old selves together as well.

Yeah. And I love that. And I think Natalie and I always say, we absolutely love this conversation around motherhood. And sometimes we feel like it's quite hard for us to take part in because we don't have children yet. But for Natalie, children are very much something she really wants in her life. For me, I'm a little bit like little bit like oh I really wanted kids but now I see how hard it is I feel like it's easier to go to work than it is to have children you're right you are right about that Lindsay you have four children yeah Asia you have two with another on the way that's right how on earth have you found the time to say oh hang on let's, let's get together. Let's help other women. Let's raise the conversation around motherhood. Let's talk about other things besides

our children. How have you found the time to do all of this? Yeah, that is such a good question. It's something we get asked all the time. People say to us, how are you doing it? How are you doing it all? Well, the answer is that we're not. And we have learned a lot from these speakers that we've brought in to talk to us at the Ultimate Mom Gathering. And one of them that you've just spoken to is Kate Northrup. And she talks about doing less. And so something that we've learned is that we really have to prioritize and perhaps cut something else that we were doing before. Because if we prioritize that this business is really important to us, creating this community of women who can help each other is really important to us, then anything that's not serving that we might have to cut out for now. So we've had to become

really conscious of that and really make some concessions in other places. And honestly, we're not missing them because we're feeling so fulfilled in creating this community and coming back to this professional side of ourselves and getting out of this fog of you know new babies which happens but it's important to us and so I think what we've decided is if it's important to you and you prioritize that's how you do it and we're learning little tricks along the way that are helping us every single day so Asia and I both have little tricks that we pass to each other all the time. And for example, a real quick one for me is getting up an hour before my kids. And we learned that from all these resources that we pulled together.

We've learned these tricks from them. So one of them for me was to get up an hour before and set myself up for success. Otherwise, you wake up at the same time as your kids and you're already behind. You're already behind and you're already run behind. So we've implemented some of these little tricks that we've learned. And that's how we're managing to stay afloat, I guess. And also enjoying it. That's important for us too. It's like, we have to be enjoying what we're doing and we want to be able to enjoy our kids and our business and our marriages and our family. And that's hard to do if you're not organized, but I think if you are and you

prioritize them, then you can do what you want is what we say you're not doing it all but we're doing what we want I love also how this conversation is so efficient that we've literally just jumped in to tricks and tips on how we can stay more organized so continuing this theme of I know there's gonna be so many women and mothers listening to this oh well it doesn't I don't think it's gonna matter whether you have a child or not there's gonna be so many takeaways but I love that getting up an hour early and just really setting yourself up for success what does that look like what do you do in that hour is it that you're getting things prepared for the children or is it that you're kind of investing time into

your own morning routine like what does that look like Lindsay so that's a good question because I've also been asked that and the answer for me is that it evolves all the time because it started I read this book called the miracleacle Morning. You've probably heard of it. And one of our speakers, Stephanie, yes, Stephanie LaFever, she also has a variation of that. And, you know, I watched her podcast on this and I thought, well, I'm going to try this. And as soon as I tried it, it literally changed my life because all of a sudden I wasn't feeling flustered from the moment I woke up. So when I first started it, I started doing it where you did the 10 minutes of meditation. I had my coffee by myself.

For me, that is a huge ritual that I was missing. And it was just a reset. I would sit and have my coffee and think about what I wanted to accomplish in that day. Then they suggest 10 minutes of movement. And then I would set up for the kids. So I would get their breakfast ready without everybody pulling up my pant legs and my pajama legs. And that was huge for me. So it started that way. And that's how I got into the habit of doing it. And then it's changed as things go. So what's important to me right now coming close to this event is getting to my emails quietly for having that time.

And so I set aside some time for that. And then I don't feel so flustered and angry. I've done my emails and the kids wake up. You know, I'm not already behind. So it changes. But I do make conscious effort to know what I'm going to spend that hour doing. Sometimes I can do some meditation or some exercise and sometimes I don't. But as long as I get that quiet time, that's what's most important to me. And it really has changed my whole day. So that's one thing that I've learned. Yes. I think you're right. Just feeling that sense of accomplishment already right there's that whole study done whereas if you make your own bed in the morning like you've already ticked something off your list and you're in that positive mindset so I guess this is kind

of like very similar you're like you know started that day off the way you intended rather than having it dictated to by perhaps the children's mood and you're already able to kind of get some things done. So I love that. What about you, Asia? Yeah. I mean, I think for sure waking up an hour before the kids, which definitely doesn't happen all the time, especially now that I'm pregnant and I'm so tired, but I think for me separating my time. So having my time with the kids be my time with the kids and my time when I'm trying to get work done, be my time to get work done. Because I feel like when you try to blend your time and do all of the things at once, things just start to get mushy and you don't do anything well. So if I wake up an hour early, I make sure that I have my hot coffee, get my emails done,

do a quick little workout if I want to. And then when the kids wake up, I don't feel like I'm behind and struggling to get all those things that I wanted to get done done so that when the kids are up, I'm happy to be with them. And it's not, you know, I'm not, I'm not trying to bounce a baby while writing an email feeling super flustered. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place, so it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is

simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe I'm really glad you brought up that kind of feeling

of being present because I think whether you've got children or not, it's something that a lot of us struggle with in society right now is actually being present in the moment. You know, there's so many distractions, whether it be social medias or something on our smartphones. And I think allowing yourself to actually be present in the moment is so, so important. Like, how do you do that when you're with the children do you just kind of put your phone and laptop completely away or do you have like do not disturb on how do you guys make sure that when you're in work you're in work or when you're with the children when you're with the children like how do you separate that I think that's like anything for me it's a practice to thing so when Asia and I had that conversation we share all these tips

and tricks and she was telling me that she was dedicating time to just the kids and dedicating time to just work. Because when we were combining them, we felt like we were failing at both. And so one thing I did was I started setting an alarm on my phone. And it started out with 20 minutes, which sounds so silly. But I was saying, I'm going to put my phone down for 20 minutes. And instead of constantly checking it, I'm just not going to look at it until the timer goes off. And at first, if I'm being totally honest, five minutes would go by and I think, oh my gosh, this has to be over soon. And then now 20 minutes of being present with my kids is going by much faster and much easier. And I don't watch for

the timer anymore, but it was a learned practice to start doing it that way. And that's how I started doing it. And it has helped too, because you're with them and you know, you're with them. You're not worried about or thinking about anything else. And it's nice. Exactly. I think just to add to that point, Lindsay, I feel like when you get some other things crossed off your list, then you open up so much mental space that when you are with your kids, you're really with your kids and you're not constantly thinking about, oh, I have to make notes for that podcast or email this person back. And all of that mental energy gets freed up to just be present with your kids or your friends or your husband or whoever it is. So true. And also I'm a devil for writing things on my list and taking them off when I've

already done them just because I like feeling like you can tick it off yes I think that's such like a Virgo thing to do as well so I want to take you back there's so many questions I have for you guys but I want to just take you back to that moment you first met in those prenatal classes because I think a lot of women will relate to this you know embarking on the journey of motherhood particularly with your first children as well as so new and so scary and that you're moving into new circles. And it's a time when you can kind of make new friends, but it's also a time that can be extremely lonely. And, you know, Boss Babe is all about community. And so how did you guys like really bond? Like you're such good friends now, but how did you

find that initial connection? Like who initiated the conversation and how did it kind of blossom from there? Also a good question. I think back when my firstborn was really, really young, I remember reading this quote online and it basically said, I'm attached to someone that I love more than anything in the world. And yet I've never felt so lonely. And that is so true. And it's so hard to describe. But anyways, I think when Lindsay and I met, we were relating to each other on a way where we knew exactly how each other felt and what we were going through. And I think that that, especially embarking on your new motherhood journey is so, so important is just to find someone to relate to. And I think that everything we were

going through was just exactly the same. So whether we were up all night, if we were nursing our babies, we were sometimes texting each other because then we felt like we were hanging out with someone because oftentimes you're up through the whole night when the whole world is sleeping and you feel so lonely. So when you have such a good friend to go through it with, it makes it so much easier and enjoyable. I love that. That's so true. I love that you guys look, I just imagine you like texting in the middle of the night. Are you awake yet? Me too. Yeah. I feel that way in business as well. Like sometimes entrepreneurial journey can be so hard. Like it's so nice to have a business partner in Natalie that I'm like, are you worried about this?

And she's like, yeah, I'm worried too. Or like, oh, should we celebrate? should we celebrate yes yes let's celebrate it too and I think that's what makes me always really excited about seeing the connections that are made in the society because you see those friendships and those bonds forming which I think is just so powerful so you're guys obviously like I say you shared earlier you both had kind of fertility issues and you bonded a lot over that and I know that more gatherings was really a conversation that started many years before it's materialized now. And why is it that you felt there was a need for that? Like, what were you experiencing? Was it that you were going to groups and the conversation was flat or that you couldn't make it to groups? Like, what made you decide to create

this and take it online? Yeah, I think that just is a second part to what Asia just said is when we realize how important the village is. I'd heard that saying so many times, you know, that it takes a village and I never understood it. And just like you're saying in business or any journey that you're on, you need to have somebody, an ally is what I call Asia or any of my other mom friends. You need those allies and you need somebody who can understand what you're going through. And so I think what happened with us is we started talking about this years ago, we started talking about how we would share our resources. So I would say, Hey, I can't get the baby to sleep. And I found this great sleep trainer. And I would share that with her. And she would say, Hey, I can't get my kids to eat anything, but they're eating these muffins.

And she would share that with me. And then we just realized how important that was to be able to share that information. We both thought it would be great to have more people sharing and wouldn't it be great to share these great resources that we found that maybe not everybody can do, you know, employ these sleep trainers or have different people that you can talk to and bounce ideas off or get their expertise. And so we started to pull these things together and we thought it'd be great to have a more formal platform where we could share this with people. And so that's how that came to be. And then if I'm being totally honest, at first we thought we would have it as a live event. And then Asia and I also realized really quickly that with our young

families, we can't ever leave. We cannot go anywhere. So we started looking at these amazing retreats in LA and New York and Bali, and we thought it wouldn't be nice to go anywhere. So we started looking at these amazing retreats in LA and New York and Bali. And we thought it would be nice to go there, but we can't barely get to the grocery store right now. So how will we do that? And that's how it ended up being an online conference. We thought, well, we can just get all of these people together and then people can watch it from the comfort of their own home for now.

And they can watch it with friends or alone while you do the laundry or while the baby's napping. Or if Asia and I were doing something like this, we'd probably bring the babies together and watch it together and then be able to have a conversation about what Dr. Dan Siegel just said and how that relates to our current life, you know. So that's how that all kind of came to be is just the sharing and the importance of village and community, no matter what you're doing, business or motherhood or whatnot. And we'll make sure we give lots of details on the ultimate mom gathering which is going to be

taking place on october the 22nd and 23rd but in the meantime we started off this conversation as well like really talking about balance and is that what the more gatherings is about as well it's like this balance between okay yeah we're mums but we also have these other interests and what are those real core subjects that you guys love discussing that is aligned with being a mum, but also is completely standalone too? Yeah, I think that creating more balance is probably a pretty hot topic in most people's lives, even if it doesn't have to do with being a mum. But I find that being a mum, we find that it's being clear about what you want and not doing anything that doesn't serve that. So prioritizing your time, if you're working, you're working, if you're

with your families, you're with your families, if you're doing some form of self-care or some hobbies, just separating it and finding that balance. Because I think that moms find it to be so hard not having that mom guilt because when you have kids you believe that everything you do should have to surround the kids and so I think it's realizing that when you become a mom your life sort of is still resembles a pie so being a mom is just a piece of that pie and to feel fulfilled you have to fill all of the other pieces and everybody's pie is going to look different. Oh my goodness. I love that so much. And I also think when you start visualizing that pie, you can kind of see that

actually it's okay that my pie is not 100% mom. I'm still me and I still need my time for self-care or I still need my time for my work. And I think actually just picturing like that is so important. And how do you guys wrestle with mom guilt is it something that either of you have experienced oh my gosh every day every day I think that there's two types of mom guilt too there's an external mom guilt and there's also internal mom guilt so you feel mom guilt if you're not doing something exactly the same as some other mom is doing. Or you feel internal mom guilt if you're putting your kids in front of a show so that you can return some emails. It's a constant battle.

Lindsay, when have you experienced mom guilt? I feel like this is like opening a whole can of worms. I want to share these because I think there's so many women who are going to be relating to this. Like, yeah, I felt guilty about doing this. You know what? And this is where it's so important to have your village because the mom guilt, like Asia said, it can come at you from different ways. It comes from your own self and it also comes from external. And I actually struggle more with the external mom guilt.

If I'm being totally honest, even when I started to tell people that we were doing this business and people knew at the time I was pregnant with twins or that I had new twins, I had so many misdirected comments, we'll call them, where people would basically tell me they thought that was a bad idea or being selfish. How would I spend enough time with my newborns? And that is tricky because it gets inside your head. So what's important is to make sure you have that village who supports you because you need that support and people who say, well, if this is what you want to do, I'm sure you'll prioritize it, right? How can we support you so that you can prioritize this, right? And I think that if you just have those sounding boards of people, you know, are going to support you and help you navigate that, then it's okay. And you can't let it get inside your head. You

have to cut out the noise because this is what we've learned. No matter what you do, if you're a working mom, if you're a stay-at-home mom, if you're a mom is what we've learned no matter what you do if you're a working mom if you're a stay-at-home mom if you're a mom who's doing both no matter what you do somebody somewhere is going to judge it and give you guilt about it so that is so true and I was just thinking in my head that's exactly what happens depending on what circle you're in if you are different then people are going to judge you for it and I think that's just that acceptance being around like I know I can't win or actually you can look at it I can win and I can do whatever I want and I'm okay with it because I approve of what I'm doing and it's right for me yes and I've just talked to the people who don't approve they

just don't understand and I might not understand their situation and their circumstance and their wants and needs and they don't understand mine and so that's when you learn to just block the noise and you have to be okay with what you're doing and know that that's what serves you best and your family best. And as soon as you realize that, then the mom guilt gets a lot easier to deal with. I love that. And I think you guys have decided to kind of start this side hustle around your children. And why do you believe that we're in this generation of moms wanting to do side hustles too? Because I know we have a lot within the society. Going back to that piece of the pie, I think for the moms who are doing a

side hustle, it's because it gives them joy. To be honest, I think Lindsay and I find so much joy out of working together and building this company together that that's just another piece of the pie that gives us joy. So I think if you do find joy in doing a side hustle, I think that that's just another piece of the pie that gives us joy. So I think if you do find joy in doing a side hustle, I think that that's great. And I think that that's why a lot of moms are doing it. Yeah, I agree. It's just that bit of something that you say. I just love that pie analogy. I think that's so true. And do you think it's fine that sometimes the pie will fluctuate some weeks, it's all children. Another week, there's more business thrown in there. Is that something that fluctuates a lot for you? Or do you guys have a very steadily cut pie?

It's always the same. No, no. And we talk about that all the time. We're always constantly checking in with each other or other mom friends. You know, how are you doing? And we laugh because we say as soon as we feel like we've got things under control, then there's a huge tip in the balance. You know, it's like, oh, everybody's sleeping.

We've got a work schedule laid out. We have everything exactly how we want it. And then Asia will get pregnant. Thanks a lot, Asia. I'm just kidding. It's true. Or I had twins. Like, what was I thinking?

As soon as we feel like we've done this. I did not order two. I know, right? Exactly. And then you have to really look at it and think, how can we balance this out again? And so, no, it is constant work in progress. It's a constant change. And we feel like the only thing that's consistent is that we're inconsistent.

It's like, as soon as we think of the baby sleeping, they stop sleeping. And we have to reevaluate how we can wake up an hour earlier in the morning. So, no, it's a constant change and it's something that we have to constantly be conscious of and look at and reorganize our time and I imagine you guys have some funny stories around the work of baby balance like conversations like thank goodness we don't have video on right now how much time do we have I definitely am up for you guys sharing some because I think that could be quite humorous. Danielle, in the intro to your podcast, you mentioned the realness behind building a business. Yep, shout it all.

The truth is this project has taken us about three years to put together. And what it looks like is us working at putting the babies to bed and then getting on the phone at 10 p.m. at night. You know, while typically we're eating ice cream with our husbands and watching a show, we're hiding under the covers with our laptops, typing to each other so that we don't wake anybody up. Or my in-laws were in town last weekend and we were getting dinner ready. And I think my mother-in-law was peeling potatoes and I was upstairs hiding in a closet talking to Lindsay because I didn't want anyone to know that I was working while I was supposed to be helping. What I can say is I can almost guarantee that if you've gotten an email from me in the past four months with my new twins, I can almost guarantee that I sent it while nursing babies. It's almost a guarantee.

So we are really multitasking. We've learned to multitask as well. And sometimes it's not pretty, that's for sure. Asia and I have had more conversations with screaming children in the background or throwing cookies at them to just give us one more minute. We just need one more minute. Please take this cookie. Yeah, there's been a lot of that in the last couple of months, but we have to find humor in it. And that's the only way to do it is just laugh about it. You know, we've also learned to talk through the crying and the screaming and the cookie giving, but it's okay. You really do. I think that's just one lesson I've really learned in business. I don't know if you did an Enneagram, but I made type three, which is the achiever. it's always like on to the next one to the next what I've

really learned is that actually you need to have fun on the journey and do you know what like feeding while sending emails is part of the journey driving small children with cookies is part of the journey and I think you know wherever you are whether you have children or not there's always like these hilarious stories I definitely know that I've snuck off to answer emails into the bathroom, but like, yeah, quit doing these emails. And I said to Natalie, I was like, it's sometimes like I'm having a secret love affair with the business. Like how do you keep it a secret that I'm working? Oh my gosh, that's so funny. So that we've had that exact same analogy. I was joking that I felt my husband was getting a bit jealous because I was hiding, you know,

when I'm supposed to be watching a show with him and he wants my attention and I run off to the bathroom and pretend I'm just going to the washroom, but I'm not. I'm writing an email. There are going to be so many women right now laughing to this and just relating so much. So I think it's just really powerful that we all just share it and just share our experiences and be like, yep, this is a real behind the scenes of what goes on it's important to share but also we hope that our husbands are not listening right now I know I'm just thinking

to myself what can we edit out he's gonna be on to me now yes yeah next time you run out he's gonna know exactly what's happening in all like seriousness coming back to that point we're finding that balance or accepting you'll never find that balance are there other tricks that you've learned that have helped you like execute things quicker so we spoke about getting up an hour earlier when you have like several children are their ways like do they nap all the same time? Do they nap at different times? Like how do you entertain one whilst you're doing another? Like, do you have to become good at making decisions quicker because you don't have time to deliberate on them? How do you get those things done? I don't know if you would call it a trick, but something that we both had to get better at with each child that's come into our life

is accepting help and looking for help and finding what you need for support. And we always say support looks different to everyone. For some people it's getting some outside help like a nanny or day home, or if you have family in town or, you know, whatever that might be. But also I had a really hard time coming into mom life and accepting help. I thought I could do it all on my own. And I felt like if I took help from somebody, I was failing somewhere. I feel like with the twins coming into my life, I've had to, one piece of advice, it's actually my mom gave me, was just, if anybody offers you help, no matter what it is, you say yes. And that was a real exercise for me. And I caught myself so

many times about to decline help and say, no, no, thank you. I don't need that. And then I would say, no, you know what? I will take that. I will take that help. And that's been a real game changer for me. And it's getting easier every time I say yes. And every time I take help and realize I'm not failing, I'm actually succeeding when I say yes. And when I take the help and that's the only way that this is going to happen. So taking the support and realizing it really does take a village and using that, I think has been a huge thing for me. That's so so powerful and realizing it's not a weakness and I have that too I'm really it took me a long time to ask for help or struggle delegating I would always worry that I was delegating to people who were just as busy as I was and then feeling that

resistance and doing that and actually realizing that no like it's we're only going to go so far if we don't delegate and like you say understanding what help looks like in whatever shape or form that is with helping the business or help at home or just like general help with around the family so that's super super powerful what about you Asia yeah absolutely I think that there's a huge sense of martyrdom in motherhood and all moms feel like if they don't do absolutely everything if they don't have a hot meal on the table at night, if they don't home make those lunches, if those muffins aren't all organic and all made at home, then you're failing. I think that you forget that you will get burnt out if you try to do it all. And so asking for help is definitely something that we all struggle with because we all want to excel at motherhood. That was the one thing that I needed to be the best at. And I think

being the best at motherhood is accepting help because if you can't fulfill yourself, you can't fulfill anybody else. That's so true. And out of interest, I spoke about the pie earlier. How do you like to portion your pie out? So like percentage in business, percentage in motherhood, percentage for yourself. Like what does that look like for each of you? I think that, like we said, it's a constant changing. So for us right now, because we are kind of in the thick of both young families and our business right now, my pie honestly is pretty much half and half. It's like work life right now and mom life. But we both have said come October when this event is under our belts, we're going to dial it back a little bit in the work life.

You know, I do have some help right now with the kids and I'm going to dial that back. So I'm going to spend maybe a little bit more time with the kids until we dive into the next event. So it's just forever changing, but that's how mine looks right now. It's mostly work and kids. My pie right now, if I'm being honest. Making some time for you post event. I like that. Exactly. Exactly. And knowing it's coming because you have to just like if I thought that this was going to be a forever thing we would end up burnt out but knowing that that's coming and having the foresight to look ahead I think is also really

important yeah I love that and the same for you Asia is that oh gosh yeah the pie is always changing and similar to Lindsay right now I am kids and work I think that once the event happens we'll have some time to dial it back and be more present with our families. But I think that the pie is just forever going to change. And even for people that don't have kids yet, there's always things that you're adding to your plate or new passions that you have. So I think it's just finding the balance and deciding in the moment which piece of the pie you want to work on. I love that. I'd love to dive into the event a little bit more. So on the 22nd and 23rd, you guys are hosting a two-day online conference. And I know that you're kind of bringing so many speakers together. I think you have 18 in total,

is that correct? Yep, that's right. And it's all around parenting fields to support the modern mom. So do you want to tell us a bit more about that? Yeah. So it's going to be a two-day online conference where we have about, as you said, 18 speakers and they're going to cover all aspects of mom life. So we've got speakers from Dr. Dan to speakers to help us out with fashion tips, hair tips, time, energy management. Kate Northrup is speaking to that, who you recently had on your pod. Yes, she's amazing, isn't she? We have a nutritionist who is amazing. She's going to talk about how to feed your kids properly and how to get your kids to eat the food that you make. It's such a hilarious thing before you have kids. You feel like you're going to make these gourmet meals and they're going to eat

them and they don't. No, they don't care. It's terrible. I remember my sister-in-law getting really upset about that because her daughter would always spit out her food. She would eat the supermarkets. Every time she slaved over these meals, her daughter would never eat it at all. It's a terrible thing, really. It's a huge joke. They don't eat anything but bread. Yeah. Okay, so I love it.

It says nutritionist. It says fashion tips and is it just people can just come to the ones that they want to like check in check out around breastfeeding around mom duties like what does it look like yeah so we have two different options so you can either look at we have our schedule online and if something speaks to you more than the other we have day one or day two you could purchase a day one pass or day two pass or the whole thing. But what we're telling people is there might be something that might not speak to you right now. We have a sleep trainer, for example, right now you might think, well, I don't need that. But what's great about this event is you can watch it live and have questions and talk to the sleep

trainer live. Or when the event is over, we're going to send a download link. And if suddenly you think, oh my gosh, my kids just stopped sleeping or I need to sleep train, you can go back and you can watch that link. So you will get those sessions after the event that you can rewatch and watch again, or you can watch it live with us and we'll have a moderator there and she's going to be taking questions from people who are watching live and you have the option to ask these speakers something that's relatable to you right now. But yeah, we wanted to keep it really like a well-rounded event. So we have, like Asia was saying, Dr. Dan Siegel, who's the author of The Whole Brain Child, which probably every mom has on their nightstand and maybe hasn't got around to reading

because when you get in bed, you just open the book and fall asleep. So he's going to be talking to us. And then we have all different kinds of people. We wanted to get the real life things too, like fashion, like hair tips, how to do fitness with your toddlers and your babies at home. So we have a very well-rounded event, I think with all different aspects of mom life. I love that. It sounds amazing. So where can our listeners find out more information around this? So all of the speakers will be on our website. You can find the link to purchase a ticket there. We'd also like to mention that we are extending our early bird offer just to Boss Babes for $67 through until

the event starts, which is October 22nd and 23rd. That's amazing. And so good that people can kind of like have a little look there, see what's interesting. I mean, to be honest, can people come who don't have children? Because it sounds like it's going to be loads of good information. Definitely. We are so excited about the speakers that jumped on board with this. Everybody was so receptive and everybody thought there was a real need for this type of information out there on a more formal platform in this way. So we have some really exciting people and it's not all directly related to motherhood. Like you said, like Kate Norsorp, you could take her information about doing less and apply it to any area of your life. Really. We have some Stephanie LaFever. She's amazing too. And you can apply all of her tactics too. You could just apply it to

business. She talks a lot about, I hope I can say this, but she talks about being a badass. That's her. I was stalling there. I didn't know, but she talks about being a badass and you can apply that to your business or you can apply that to motherhood. And what we like to say is you can be a badass in both. You could be a badass mom and a badass business owner. And we think it's great that you can do both. And so we have a lot of speakers who will speak to just general areas of your life and you can apply that to mom life as well. And all of the speakers that we have too, we have personally used their information or we've hired them sleep trainers in our own journey through motherhood so all of the speakers that we have we have

personally used for our lives I love that it goes a long way when you have people who are fed and you trust and you can recommend on to others it's just so powerful and just amazing that you guys are pulling this community together because like I say I don't have children but I can completely see the need for this and what I would love to do is so we can get a little bit more involved in Boss Babe I'd love for anyone listening today who has related to any of our stories that we shared earlier on around balancing business with motherhood I'd love for you guys to tag us at bossbabe.inc on social media with any kind of like multitasking pictures of you guys listening to podcasts or with children around answering emails with children around all the things or sneaking off to do your work whilst children

are left with dad all the things I think it's amazing yeah so thank you so much Lindsay and Asia for coming in and chatting about this amazing topic and a topic I think that's amazing. Yeah. So thank you so much, Lindsay and Asia, for coming in and chatting about this amazing topic and a topic I think that we just want to lift the lid on a little bit and just saying, look, it's okay if you don't have it all in place all the time. If it's okay if you're out of balance sometimes. It's okay if you don't feel like you're the best mom or best wife or best business person all the time. And we're just all trying our best.

And I think we all just need to be a little bit more compassionate towards ourselves I think most of us have a lot more compassion towards others than we do ourselves and I think just having this like open conversation around that it's just been really amazing so thank you so much ladies you're both incredible and thank you I'm in complete awe of how you're juggling it all so thank you for coming in and sharing it with us thank you Danielle coming in and sharing it with us. Thank you, Danielle. Thanks for having us. If you enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you subscribed and left us a review. Let us know what you enjoyed, what your main takeaways were and who you'd like to see appear on the show. As a special thanks, we'll send you a copy of our Boss Babe 25. Now, this is an awesome resource.

It's the 25 essential things that you need for personal and professional growth. We've included everything from must-have products to books to rituals. This guide literally covers it all, and I know you're going to love it. So if you want your copy, simply leave us a review and then send a screenshot of your review to podcast at bossbabe.com. We love bringing you experts and interviews from other successful business owners so they can talk about their experiences and share information tips and what has worked for them. However remember that the opinions or advice of our guests and as the hosts

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