the bossbabe podcast - 458: The Myth of “Having It All” + The Playbook to Thriving as a CEO/Mama
Episode Date: April 10, 2025We’ve all heard the phrase “you can have it all” — but is it actually serving us? In this episode, Natalie challenges the myth of having it all and shares what it really looks like to thrive a...s a CEO and a mother — without burning out, running on empty, or constantly questioning if you're doing enough. Whether you’re a parent or simply juggling a lot, you’ll walk away with a powerful reframe on success, a clear strategy for setting aligned priorities, and practical tools for protecting your time, energy, and well-being. If you’ve been feeling stretched thin, this is the mindset shift you’ve been needing. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Why the idea of “having it all” is keeping high-achieving women stuck 01:26 - The real question: Do you even want it all — and at what cost? 04:06 - How becoming a mom ended Natalie’s people-pleasing era (and why that changed everything) 06:55 - Recognizing the martyr pattern — and how to break free from it 10:13 - The truth behind thriving women: It starts with support systems 16:08 - Redefining “mom guilt” and how to shift into empowered ambition 18:17 - The 3-question framework to define your version of success 22:48 - The exact things Natalie let go of to reach her biggest goals 25:38 - How to prioritize like a CEO and protect your energy 28:17 - When to outsource, automate, or ask for help (and why it matters) 31:04 - Build a schedule that reflects your actual values — not just what looks impressive 34:49 - A challenge: What’s one thing you can release to make space for what matters? RESOURCES + LINKS Love This Episode? Get The CEO Mama Unfiltered Newsletter (It’s Free!) For Weekly Support, Strategy, And Real Talk — Straight To Your Inbox. Apply To Join The CEO Mama Membership — Our Private Community For Ambitious Mamas Building Freedom-Based Businesses While Raising A Family. The Let Them Theory Book Natalie Mentions In This Episode. Join The Société: Our Exclusive Membership To Help You Build A Freedom-Based BusinessTM. Sign Up For Our Free Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More. Drop Us A Review On The Podcast + Send Us A Screenshot & We’ll Send You Natalie’s 7-Figure Operating System Completely FREE (value $1,997).
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, I'm Natalie Ellis and welcome back.
I want to break down the myth of having it all as a CEO and a mum and talk about
some really actionable strategies that have supported me in being able to let go
of the guilt and lean into presence in all of the areas of my life that I
really, really want to prioritize.
So if you love this episode, make sure you subscribe and leave me a comment
below and let me know what kind of things you'd want to see more of.
Let's dive in. Welcome back to this week's podcast. So this week I really want to talk about the myth of having it all and what it really takes to thrive as a CEO and also a mother but it's not
just an episode specific for mothers it's for any of you who feel like you are just juggling
so many things at once and you're feeling like, do you know what, something's gotta give because
I know I felt like this before I became a mother and it only amplified when I did. So it's definitely
not just for mums but really those of you that are just stretched and exhausted because we've all
grown up hearing the phrase you can have it all and it's like this rally cry for ambitious women. I mean I
definitely was even part of it with the early boss babe movement with some of
those really viral quotes and I think it's especially true now for mums who
are also really career driven but I want to challenge it today because I don't
think the issue is whether we can have it all. Because we know we can.
I think the real question is,
do we even want it all and at what cost?
Like, do we really want it all
or do we think we should want it all?
Do we think we should have it all?
I feel like when I became a mom,
I had to challenge so many of the shoulds
that I had layered on myself
that I didn't even realize
I'd layered on myself. And I think that style, I mean, I'm like the first daughter, like really
hyper independent overachiever. Like I know so many of you listening will relate to that.
And I feel like I didn't really question for a long time, this constant achievement or
constant moving on to the next, the hustle, the grind, the, you know, I didn't really question a lot of that.
And I didn't really ask where is this drive coming from?
Is it coming from me genuinely, and that's actually what I want, and this is a goal for me to create,
or is it coming from the belief that I should be doing a certain thing?
I should be hitting certain milestones by certain ages.
I really had to question so much of it.
And I came to realize actually,
not all of my business journey,
but a chunk of my business journey
toward the last few years before becoming a mum
had kind of been driven by other people.
And I think also when you're in a business partnership,
I think that's very easy.
And this doesn't put anyone at fault,
but I think when you're in a business partnership
or you're working in business with other people, it could even be your own partner.
It can be quite hard sometimes to discern between their goals and your goals and not
really knowing where it's coming from.
Or, you know, maybe you convince yourself that, you know, because you see other people
doing it, that that's the kind of thing that you want.
And I think for me, I had definitely done that. And I remember so many times I had said to myself, Natalie, I'm like, I want to slow down.
This is just too much. I feel like I'm not putting my life first. I'm not putting my needs first.
I'm kind of doing so many things to please other people. And that all stopped when I became a mum
because I mean, I didn't have the capacity to keep doing it the way I was doing it but
I can't fully explain it. I had no desire to please anyone anymore. I had grown up as
such a people pleaser and I'd been a people pleaser for so much of my 20s and I became
a mum when I was 30 and I feel like that was the end of my people pleasing era. Like I
actually didn't give a shit about pleasing people anymore. And that led to so many good things.
That also led to some really challenging things.
Because if you've also built relationships on people pleasing,
if you've built a relationship,
multiple relationships on people feeling like you'll always be the yes guy,
they can kind of throw anything at you and you'll,
you'll just be the people pleaser.
You'll go along with all the things and then you all of a sudden stop.
That's really challenging for them first and foremost.
But it changes the kind of relationship that you've had and some relationships will change.
Some relationships will completely die and that's really challenging.
And I've noticed that being my work in my 30s is I'm okay with being misunderstood, I'm okay with
my relationships changing, I'm okay with chapters closing, I'm okay saying no and feeling like
I'm letting people down, I'm okay disappointing people, I'm okay doing that stuff as long
as I am true to myself, I'm in integrity with myself. And you know, if
I just really trust that my inner compass is going in the right, is pointing in the
right direction, I'm okay with those things. I think that's a big reason that I loved Mel
Robbins, Let Them Book. I just really, I think, put words to what I've felt in this last few
years and kind of give me permission to just be doing life the way
I'm doing it which is interesting because we don't need permission from anyone but it does feel good
I think to know that you're not alone in the way that you've decided to live your life like the way
that that book just completely took off like so many of us have resonated with it because we know
that's the chapter of life that we're in and it's nice to have that validation.
So kind of going back to that, the reality is like the version of having it all that society sells us is being an amazing mom,
being an incredible wife, being a powerhouse CEO, having the perfect body, meal prepping, all the organic meals, keeping a spotless house, like exhausting.
And for a lot of us, it leads to resentment, it leads to burnout, it can lead to feeling like you're failing even when you're doing an absolutely incredible job.
So I think let's break down what it really takes to thrive as a CEO, as a mother, as someone that
wears a lot of hats without burning out, without feeling guilty,
without constantly running on empty and hopefully a sense of being able to walk away with a sense of
what balance looks like to you, what priorities are important to you and then what kind of success
would actually serve you. I am so not here for the version of womanhood where you're running on empty. Like I'm really not here
for it. That's like martyrdom where you are giving everything to everyone. You're so depleted.
There's nothing left for yourself. And being totally honest, that is definitely a pattern
I can fall into if I'm not careful with it. So what I've noticed about myself is, you know, I'm one of eight kids and my mum's a
single mum and I grew up with a mum that was so self-sacrificing. She had no needs. She
didn't put her needs, like she never put herself first ever. She put everyone else before her.
And that's the kind of the blueprint that I saw growing up and for
me I've definitely noticed that I can seek my worthiness in the doing for
other people and like being everything to everyone I can seek my worthiness
and approval in that if I'm not regulating myself so if I'm not pouring
into myself if I'm not doing the work to really regulate myself if I'm not regulating myself. So if I'm not pouring into myself, if I'm not doing the work to really regulate myself,
if I'm not really making sure I pour into myself
and take care of my own energy,
that is a default pattern I can fall into.
And what will happen is, this is no one's fault but my own,
I'll end up feeling like I'm bending over backwards
for everyone doing, you know, putting everyone first,
doing all the things,
all that. And then I'll notice me and Stephen will have an argument and I'll start listing out all
the things like, but I'm doing X, Y, Z, like I'll just list out all these things. And it's, and I
can almost step out my body and watch myself. And I'm like, you're playing the martyr right now.
And it's almost to say like, Hey, look at how much I'm doing. Look at how worthy I am.
Listen, I continue to do the work, but that just shows up for me still.
And it's really important for me to get a handle on that.
And I notice I really don't show up in that way when I am taking care of myself.
It's mainly when I know I have let my self care drop, when I've let the
energy management drop and I just haven't been intentional, that's where I
notice I fall into that pattern.
And so it was really important to me
not to set that example.
I don't wanna set that example for my daughter
but I also don't wanna be that wife to my husband
because he is the most incredible husband.
I mean, he fully splits everything with me
in this household.
And when I've got more on my plate, he steps up.
And when he's got more on his plate, I step up.
And that's the kind of partnership that we've worked really hard to have.
And so it's important to me that I really get myself in check and don't allow my patterns to sabotage that.
Because we've all got patterns, like we've all got ways of showing off that sabotage that.
Another thing that shows up for me when I'm really self-sacrificing is I just
don't have the energy to pour into my relationship.
Like I'll notice if I'm having one of those weeks where I'm putting myself last,
Stephen will propose a date night and I'm like, I'm way too exhausted.
I don't want to.
And that has a huge impact on our relationship.
Like, yeah, one off, skipping the date night, fine.
But if that's the way that I was to show up consistently,
that's not good for the relationship.
That, you know, it's really important to us,
especially having a toddler that we prioritize our relationship.
Like our relationship has to be solid.
And for that, you know, you need the alone time to get that.
You need time to like really drop in as partners.
And I know like come Friday night,
if I have just fully self-sacrificed all week,
I'm not gonna feel really energized
to wanna go for a date night.
I'm not the kind of person to just push through it
if I feel exhausted too.
Like I wanna go and feel really energized
and be really present with him.
And I'm not gonna be like that if I'm exhausted.
And so I will say no and I'll prioritize going to be like that if I'm exhausted. And so I will say no
and I'll prioritize going to bed earlier, whatever, but I don't want to get to that
place. And again, it's not the wife that I want to be. And so it's really important for me to work
on my stuff and work on myself so that I can show up the way that I want to show up. You know,
I also don't want to get to the weekend and then feel like I'm just a lazy mum
which by the way zero judgment like this happens. There's sometimes it gets to a Saturday and I'm
just exhausted I'm like no I mean can we just like watch movies and chill and just that's also
not the way that I want to show up. Like once in a while listen I'm not the mum that's fully against
screen time. I do screen time in certain ways and there's certain boundaries that I have on it.
Like, you know, there's no screen, no devices being used or watched,
but I love watching a movie with her and she really likes doing that.
And we both get very regulated doing that.
So I do like to do that, but that's not like, I don't want to feel like I have to do that
because I'm so exhausted come Saturday, right?
I want to feel like we, I have that because I'm so exhausted to come Saturday, right?
I want to feel like we, I have the energy to just sit and play with her, to come up
with fun ideas, to go out, to do really active things outdoors, like whatever it
is, I want to feel like I've got that energy.
And again, I think this is why, like we talk about self care is not selfish
because I know I cannot show up for the people
that I care about if I'm absolutely depleted.
That's just the truth.
I am not superhuman.
I'm not one of those people that can like ride it out on very little sleep or can just
like push the way I'm feeling to the side.
I really have to be intentional with my time and my energy.
So somewhere along the way, I think the social media landscape, books,
TV, all the things, we have been sold this idea that being a good mum means
being fully present 24-7, doing Montessori activities, cooking every
single meal from scratch, never missing a school event and then you know when it
comes to being an entrepreneurial mum, building a thriving multi-million dollar
business and being a really engaged entrepreneurial mom, building a thriving multimillion dollar business
and being a really engaged, loving partner,
having a thriving sex life, all the things.
But let's be real, no one is doing all the things
all the time.
And when we try to do it all,
we can often feel like we're failing in some or all areas,
or we overcompensate in one area
and feel really guilty about the others.
And the worst part is that we are most often measuring ourselves against a highlight reel
that we see on Instagram, TikTok of what these perfect mumpreneurs are doing,
but we don't see the full picture that anyone's sharing. You know, the nannies, the chefs,
the housekeeper, the behind the scenes team running the business. And I know for know for myself you know that's not the kind of thing that I normally talk about. I think
there's part of me that just like doesn't want to come across as braggy or taste I don't know I don't
know why I don't necessarily share all of that but I think it is important to share like I do have a
lot of help and I know that most of these people that we look at online who seem
to be doing a lot in their day, in their weeks, in their months also have a lot of support.
We have a nanny for Noemi, you know she has a nanny full-time. I have a housekeeper, I have a
house manager, I have a full-time assistant, I have a whole team at Boss Babe, I have you know
someone that specifically does all the organizing in my house on a weekly basis, like I have a whole team at Boss Babe. I have, you know, someone that specifically does all the organizing in my house on a weekly
basis like I have a lot of support and I never want to downplay any of that because I certainly
don't ever want to come across like I have more hours in the day than anyone else.
That's just the truth.
That's the level of support that I have.
And I think I shared was like the last episode of before that, in 2024, last year, I actually only had a nanny for six months of the year and the other
six months I didn't because we were just having childcare issues. And so a lot of people are like,
well, how did you do it? How are we running the business? And, you know, being with Noemi full
time. But the truth was I still had other support, right? Like I still still had I had people prepping meals I had people keeping the house tidy I had people supporting me I had obviously my
team in the business that's really important for me to share because if you
are a mom that doesn't have any childcare support but is also running a
business but is also doing all of those other things in your house and being the
one that's keeping your household running,
don't compare yourself against someone
that also has a lot of support.
That's really important to me to have that support.
And I'm really grateful that I've been able to build
my life and business in a way that affords it.
But if I'm being totally honest,
yes, I have a freedom-based business,
but that does not come without its demands.
My business can be really demanding.
We have so many clients.
We are doing a lot every single day and it has a lot of demands and it takes a lot of
my energy to run this business. I try to outsource or delegate the stuff that I just don't enjoy
doing so that I can focus on where my time is most leveraged and on things that fill
me up with energy versus drain me of energy. And again,
listen, some of the shit that I do in the business, I don't enjoy at all. I know that's normal as a
business owner and I try to keep that to the minimum. Like some of it's just like the tax
you got to pay as a business owner, but I also do try and be really intentional about what I delegate
and get off my plate. Let's keep going on this and then also talk about, you know, for women especially,
ambition often comes with guilt,
especially when you have kids.
That's just the plain fact of it.
I know for some women it doesn't
and I think that's amazing.
For me personally,
I never thought that I'd feel mom guilt at all.
I would explain for me,
the way I feel it is more,
it's not the guilt per se, like when I really distill it,
it's like a sadness.
When I feel like I'm not getting the time with Noemi
that I really wanna get with Noemi,
then I start to resent the business or you know what I mean.
So it shows up different ways.
Often we put the blanket term of guilt on this,
but I think for a lot of us, it's actually a different word and it's
deeper than that and so it doesn't always show up as it doesn't always show up as guilt but we might
label it as that. Other examples is you know if we work hard we can feel guilty about not being
with our kids more or if we spend more time with our kids we feel guilty about not growing the
business faster and let's also be honest no one is asking the dads the questions that the mums are
getting asked you know the dads probably aren't questioning their ambition yet as moms
we constantly feel like we have to prove that we're doing enough in every area
and especially you know I will say for me where I have historically equated my
worth to my work this is somewhere I have to be very, very intentional.
So I just want to say this, your ambition is not a liability.
Wanting more for your business and for yourself does not make you a bad mum.
It does not make you greedy.
It does not make you fill in the blank that maybe you've been told before.
It doesn't make you any of those things.
It makes you a human that actually wants to be here making an impact, being the best version
of yourself that you can be, giving your kids the best life that they could have, maybe one different
to what you had. It is not a bad thing and I think we really need to deeply understand that,
to deeply understand that our ambition for a better
life, our ambition for a certain lifestyle, our ambition to fulfill and maximize our
potential is not a bad thing.
In fact, it's a really beautiful thing to be gifted that as a human being.
Like if you have that gift, I think that's something that you should be really grateful for because it is a really big driver to help you get places in life.
And I think that's incredible. And I think the first step to kind of thriving in all
of these roles is getting clear on what success actually looks like for you. Because the truth
is every single person's definition of success is different but
we're often running on the same definition of success. One that we've seen on Instagram or one
that we've seen perpetuated in society and we end up chasing a version of success that's actually
not ours and that's what can lead to the burnout, the unfulfillment, the feeling like you're living
a life that's not yours.
So I think it really starts with asking yourself what kind of mum do you want to be? Not what
society expects, but what feels good for you. If we think from first principles, which means
we're just thinking on our own accord, not from anything that we have heard or has been
done before. But if we're thinking from first principles,
what does it look like for you to be a good mom?
Another question is what kind of business do you actually want?
So not what looks impressive, not what might get you the applause,
but what actually works for your life.
When you're building a freedom-based business,
you're ultimately building, you're allowing your business
to be a vehicle for the life you want to live.
But if you're not careful, it can end up becoming your entire life and not a
vehicle toward the life you want to live.
And I think there's a really, really fine line there.
And again, I think it comes back to intentionality.
And then another question, which is often a hard one, but is what am I
willing to let go of to make that happen?
And I really believe, and we talk about this inside the See Your Mama membership, but I
believe in every single season of life, you will have to let go of something to make your
goals and your vision happen.
Because in every single season, you're going to be prioritizing very different things.
And I'll talk about, you know know last year, last year was a
huge year for us in business it was our biggest revenue and profit year ever
with actually probably the smallest team that we've ever had in a full year and
I've talked about it didn't have a lot of childcare we did so much travel I did
19 trips I was really mastering speaking learning how to keynote getting on a lot
of stages like a lot of things on a lot of stages, like
a lot of things, right? A lot of things going on. And I had to ask myself the question,
what am I willing to let go of in this season to achieve my goals of, you know, I have my
business goals, I have the vision of how I want to show up in motherhood, I have a vision
of how I want to show up in my marriage, I have a vision of how I want to show up in my marriage, I have a vision of how I want to show up in my health and wellness journey, of how I want to show up
in my friendships, all this stuff.
I had visions for all of that.
And what I noticed was last year, I actually had to let go of a lot of friendships and
not in this big dramatic way of like friendship breakups, nothing like that, but simply I
knew I couldn't pour a lot of energy into a lot of friendships
And so I actually got really discerning about which friendships do I want to pour into which friendships really energize me and
Really go all in on those. I don't know remember
I don't know who talks about this but there's like the there's layers of friendships, right?
like you have that really core tight in a circle and then the circles kind of get bigger and bigger beyond that where you'll have
close friends and then you'll have like peripheral friends like you'll just you have different
layers and levels of friends around you and i had a lot of people that weren't in my inner circle
that previously i had given a lot of time to that i wasn't going to be giving a lot of time to
anymore and i didn't make a big announcement or nothing like that
it just changed the way I showed up. You know in 2023 I hosted so much at my
house. I hosted so many events for my friends, I hosted so many get-togethers, I
had like a regular standing coffee and bake morning on a Friday where friends
would come around we just have coffee together, we would eat things like I would bake cakes and stuff like that. I did a lot of hosting in 2023
and I just knew 2024 that's not something that I have a lot of time for or more importantly that
I want to prioritize. I want to prioritize other things and so I need to let that be okay and I
let go of the guilt of that because here's the thing if I was trying to be a
10 out of 10 in every area of my life my health my friendships my marriage my parenting my business
all the different areas I would inevitably yes I would let people down but I would feel like I've
let myself down I would feel guilty that I'm not showing up in certain ways but when I actually
decided where I'm gonna take the
energy down like you know what I'm only gonna show up five out of ten in that area then when I've hit
the five out of ten I feel good I feel like okay that's exactly what I intended so that's also I
think really important when it comes to the guilt piece is just knowing how much energy you can and
want to give in certain areas of your
life and kind of on the same vein if we all know this if everything is a
priority then nothing is a priority and I really think the key to really thriving
as a CEO as a mom is getting crystal clear on what matters most to you and
protecting those things fiercely and so I typically focus on three main priorities in a given time.
You know, it's kind of the same three things for me.
And then there's the lower priorities, but my business, my family, my health,
those are always my top three priorities all the time.
That is the most important thing to me.
And so I say no to a lot of things that do not serve those priorities.
I spend so much time with my family and it's not just my daughter, my husband,
but also my family who live in the UK.
Like anyone that knows me will tell you my house is like a revolving door.
I always, always have a full house.
I always have so many people in my home.
My guest bedroom is always full.
I have bunk beds in my playroom.
I have a house that we've really built for hosting and I absolutely love that.
I feel so fulfilled when I have a full house.
And so my family is just really, really,
really important to me.
And I technically would class my closest friends
as my family too, like very, very, very close friends.
I class them as my family.
So that's really, really important to me.
My health, really important to me.
Get working out, being active, take my supplements,
my diet, my nervous system,
any kind of health, wellness, biohacking practice is really, really important to me
because that is probably my biggest lever when it comes to my energy
and that's really, really important to me.
You know, I'm in my 30s now and I want to feel this vibrant and energetic for as long as I possibly can
and I don't take that for granted at all and I really really make sure I prioritize it. I work
out even on the days where I've got a lot on even on the weeks where I've got a lot on I always
prioritize that and then my business look it's important to me it is. I absolutely love what I do and I'm so proud of what I've built
that I really put so much care and attention into that and that just really
matters to me. So those are my three things and beyond that I say no to a lot
and I really am unapologetic about that now. Didn't used to be. Used to be chronic
people pleaser that would say yes to everything and anything, but I just do now. So a practical way you could do this is looking at your calendar for the week.
If it is filled with things that do not align with your priorities, it is time to start cutting.
And I know this sounds really cliche, but I'm going to say it anyway. Every yes to something
unimportant is a no to something that truly matters. It
really, really is. And so you have to get ruthless about what you're willing to say
no to. And this is really woo woo, but I honestly think the universe tests you a little bit.
Like I see this with myself. Like I genuinely think when I'll make a commitment of, okay,
moving forward, I'm going to say no to this, the universe will test me.
So for example, last year, last November, I made the commitment to myself that I will
not take on any more one-to-one clients.
Like I'm fully complete with that and I won't do any more VIP strategy days, fully complete
with that, even though I had a really long wait list for both.
And listen, let's just be honest, it's also a really lucrative business
model. I absolutely love it. I love getting to work with these types of
clients they generally have really established businesses they're amazing
women most often they are women that I look up to and so working with them
really lights me up. Their businesses are generally businesses that are having a
really really positive impact on the world and I charge a lot for what I do.
So it's fulfilling and it's incredibly lucrative, right?
I mean, I think that's just important to say, like it just is what it is.
I charge well upwards of six figures to work with me one to one.
And so I had a wait list and I said in November, Hey, I'm complete with that.
Like that's not no longer going to be part of the business model moving forward.
And December and January, I got reach outs from, I mean, women that a few years ago,
I would have been like, if you would ever tell me they want to work with me one to one,
like I think you were lying.
And I would say to them, you know, it would really be testing me.
Like, come on Natalie, do you really want to say no to this?
And I would end up saying to them, listen, it would have been a dream to work with you,
but I don't do that anymore, I'm really sorry.
And then they'll come back and they're like, name your price.
And it is such a universal test.
Like I really think that is the universe testing me
to be like Natalie, you said this is what you want,
is it genuinely what you want?
And it's hard sometimes to say no to that kind of thing.
Cause I then think about,
I think about so many things with it,
but it's important for me to honor what my priorities and my goals and my vision.
I ultimately do say no, but it doesn't make it easy, but I just have to
know what's important to me.
So I'm telling you, if you do start thinking about, okay, what are my yeses?
What are my no's?
This is what I do.
This is what I don't do.
I bet you'll start getting tested
and you'll be like, you know what, I have to get really clear on whether I am or I'm
not going to do this. So keeping it moving, I think another big shift that we can make
is giving yourself permission to get help. In business, that means delegating, hiring
support, automating. There is so much support available even with
AI these days, with AI agents these days that you don't even necessarily need an employee
if you can't afford one. There are so many options available to all of us that we get
to start getting stuff off of our plate. And then at home it means childcare, it might
mean cleaning support, housekeeping
support, meal delivery, whatever makes your life easier and I know some of you
are thinking like I've done it on my own this whole time why should I not
continue to do it that way. I just don't believe that we were ever meant to do
everything alone you know we previously brought our kids up in villages and we had a real level of support built in to our
community. We don't have that anymore unless you really do live on the same block as your family.
We really don't have that anymore and we buy into this thing that we should do it all alone. I just
personally don't and I think if you do have the ability to get some help,
I think that is such an important thing to do. And I know, listen, this is a privileged position
to come from, but if you're, if you can charge $50 an hour and then you can outsource something
for $20 an hour, why not do that? Why not free yourself up to be the most leveraged that you can be. I
really try to be as leveraged as I can be. I try to use my time in the most
effective way possible. That really matters to me and I will outsource as
much as I can and then I have little rules to myself too. Like I generally do
like to cook all of my family's meals from scratch. That's
really important to me because we always you know ever since Naomi was born even before she was
eating we've still always had every meal together as a family. Me and Stephen have done that since
the day that we met so it's just a family value of ours as we sit down and we eat together. That's
morning and night we do every single breakfast. We do every single breakfast together. We do every single dinner together. And so it's just a routine that we all have that we cook
together. Breakfast and dinner. However, I have a rule for myself. If I am solo parenting
and there's just a lot going on that week, I will just happily order takeout without
any guilt. And it's just one thing to take off my plate and not have to think about.
And so it's just like building in those little my plate and not have to think about. And so it's just like
building in those little rules for yourself, why you can give yourself that grace and just
make something a little bit easier, take one thing off that mental load that I think makes
the big difference. And then another thing, you know, building on priorities is creating a schedule
that works for you. It's not about balancing at all. We know that's so outdated by this point but it
really is about intentionally structuring your time so that you are really present where it matters.
So a few things that will help. Time blocking your work hours and sticking to them
instead of just trying to squeeze in any ounce of work all day. Having dedicated family time
without distractions, without your
phone so you can be really present and building in buffer time for yourself because like we talked
about you matter, your energy matters. Your schedules should support your life and it should
reflect your priorities not the other way around and so build a schedule that actually feels
doable to you and maybe it means that your kid doesn't do every single activity.
Like maybe that just doesn't work for your family right now.
I think it's important to have those conversations as a family and make those decisions.
Every season is going to require something very very different of you
and I think the best thing we can do is be honest about the season that we're in
and be intentional about the season that we're in and not allow the guilt of well we should be doing all of those things or we should be able
to not allowing the shoulds or the guilt to come and make decisions for you because if you don't
feel like you have autonomy you're gonna feel really resentful and i'll leave you with this
because i could really go on about all of this for hours. I hope you know this but
for the mums out there who just constantly feel stretched thin, your child does not need
a perfect mum. They need a happy and fulfilled mum. They need to see a mum who prioritises
herself, who goes after her own dreams, maybe who's building something meaningful if that's important to you, who takes
care of herself, that is just as valuable as time spent with them and I just think it's really
important to remind ourselves of that. I have to remind myself of that often. The idea of having
it all is really really flawed and you need to define what success looks like for you. Prioritisation
is absolutely everything.
So get clear on what actually matters to you
in this season and protect it.
Get help, stop doing everything on your own
or expecting yourself to do everything on your own
and really just understand what your energy levers are.
What can you do that is going to make sure
your energy is where it needs to be?
Are you taking care of your health?
Are you getting regular blood work?
Are you checking your minerals?
Are you eating a blood sugar balancing diet?
Are you moving the body?
When we talk about the foundations of your health
and your energy, those things are really, really important.
Are you regulating your nervous system? Is
your home environment one that actually feels good and energizing to be in? Are
you spending your time with people that actually lift your energy up versus
drain it? Are you living a life that is really true and authentic to you? Are you
living one you think you should be living? All of these things contribute to
the level of energy you have on a day-to-day basis and I think it's really really important to get
clear on those things and be really honest with yourself about what you need
to be the version of yourself that you can be really proud of. That's what
matters and that's gonna be different for every single one of us. Like we
talked about success looks different for every single one of us. Like we talked about success looks different for every single one of us. But if you can define your version of success then you
can really be proud of yourself when you hit that and when you're living that and
when you're living those values that really matter to you. So as we wrap up I
would love to challenge you to release one expectation or obligation that is
draining you. Maybe it's something in
your business, maybe it's something at home, maybe it's even a relationship.
Whatever it is, see if you could let it go and give yourself permission to focus
on what actually matters. Having it all is not about doing everything at all,
it's about choosing what matters most and doing that. So I hope this has
been helpful. I hope this resonates. Like I've said throughout I certainly don't
have it all figured out. I just feel like every every few months I'm like I'm
getting a little bit better and I'm getting a little bit better and I think
that's the most important thing. So if this resonated with you please leave a
comment. Let me know, make sure you subscribe to the show.
It would mean the absolute world to me, but any feedback would be incredible and really helps me to know what kind of content to create next.
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