the bossbabe podcast - 458: The Myth of “Having It All” + The Playbook to Thriving as a CEO/Mama

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

We’ve all heard the phrase “you can have it all” — but is it actually serving us? In this episode, Natalie challenges the myth of having it all and shares what it really looks like to thrive a...s a CEO and a mother — without burning out, running on empty, or constantly questioning if you're doing enough. Whether you’re a parent or simply juggling a lot, you’ll walk away with a powerful reframe on success, a clear strategy for setting aligned priorities, and practical tools for protecting your time, energy, and well-being. If you’ve been feeling stretched thin, this is the mindset shift you’ve been needing. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Why the idea of “having it all” is keeping high-achieving women stuck 01:26 - The real question: Do you even want it all — and at what cost? 04:06 - How becoming a mom ended Natalie’s people-pleasing era (and why that changed everything) 06:55 - Recognizing the martyr pattern — and how to break free from it 10:13 - The truth behind thriving women: It starts with support systems 16:08 - Redefining “mom guilt” and how to shift into empowered ambition 18:17 - The 3-question framework to define your version of success 22:48 - The exact things Natalie let go of to reach her biggest goals 25:38 - How to prioritize like a CEO and protect your energy 28:17 - When to outsource, automate, or ask for help (and why it matters) 31:04 - Build a schedule that reflects your actual values — not just what looks impressive 34:49 - A challenge: What’s one thing you can release to make space for what matters? RESOURCES + LINKS Love This Episode? Get The CEO Mama Unfiltered Newsletter (It’s Free!) For Weekly Support, Strategy, And Real Talk — Straight To Your Inbox. Apply To Join The CEO Mama Membership — Our Private Community For Ambitious Mamas Building Freedom-Based Businesses While Raising A Family. The Let Them Theory Book Natalie Mentions In This Episode.  Join The Société: Our Exclusive Membership To Help You Build A Freedom-Based BusinessTM. Sign Up For Our Free Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More.  Drop Us A Review On The Podcast + Send Us A Screenshot & We’ll Send You Natalie’s 7-Figure Operating System Completely FREE (value $1,997).

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, I'm Natalie Ellis and welcome back. I want to break down the myth of having it all as a CEO and a mum and talk about some really actionable strategies that have supported me in being able to let go of the guilt and lean into presence in all of the areas of my life that I really, really want to prioritize. So if you love this episode, make sure you subscribe and leave me a comment below and let me know what kind of things you'd want to see more of. Let's dive in. Welcome back to this week's podcast. So this week I really want to talk about the myth of having it all and what it really takes to thrive as a CEO and also a mother but it's not
Starting point is 00:00:40 just an episode specific for mothers it's for any of you who feel like you are just juggling so many things at once and you're feeling like, do you know what, something's gotta give because I know I felt like this before I became a mother and it only amplified when I did. So it's definitely not just for mums but really those of you that are just stretched and exhausted because we've all grown up hearing the phrase you can have it all and it's like this rally cry for ambitious women. I mean I definitely was even part of it with the early boss babe movement with some of those really viral quotes and I think it's especially true now for mums who are also really career driven but I want to challenge it today because I don't
Starting point is 00:01:21 think the issue is whether we can have it all. Because we know we can. I think the real question is, do we even want it all and at what cost? Like, do we really want it all or do we think we should want it all? Do we think we should have it all? I feel like when I became a mom, I had to challenge so many of the shoulds
Starting point is 00:01:42 that I had layered on myself that I didn't even realize I'd layered on myself. And I think that style, I mean, I'm like the first daughter, like really hyper independent overachiever. Like I know so many of you listening will relate to that. And I feel like I didn't really question for a long time, this constant achievement or constant moving on to the next, the hustle, the grind, the, you know, I didn't really question a lot of that. And I didn't really ask where is this drive coming from? Is it coming from me genuinely, and that's actually what I want, and this is a goal for me to create,
Starting point is 00:02:15 or is it coming from the belief that I should be doing a certain thing? I should be hitting certain milestones by certain ages. I really had to question so much of it. And I came to realize actually, not all of my business journey, but a chunk of my business journey toward the last few years before becoming a mum had kind of been driven by other people.
Starting point is 00:02:35 And I think also when you're in a business partnership, I think that's very easy. And this doesn't put anyone at fault, but I think when you're in a business partnership or you're working in business with other people, it could even be your own partner. It can be quite hard sometimes to discern between their goals and your goals and not really knowing where it's coming from. Or, you know, maybe you convince yourself that, you know, because you see other people
Starting point is 00:03:00 doing it, that that's the kind of thing that you want. And I think for me, I had definitely done that. And I remember so many times I had said to myself, Natalie, I'm like, I want to slow down. This is just too much. I feel like I'm not putting my life first. I'm not putting my needs first. I'm kind of doing so many things to please other people. And that all stopped when I became a mum because I mean, I didn't have the capacity to keep doing it the way I was doing it but I can't fully explain it. I had no desire to please anyone anymore. I had grown up as such a people pleaser and I'd been a people pleaser for so much of my 20s and I became a mum when I was 30 and I feel like that was the end of my people pleasing era. Like I
Starting point is 00:03:41 actually didn't give a shit about pleasing people anymore. And that led to so many good things. That also led to some really challenging things. Because if you've also built relationships on people pleasing, if you've built a relationship, multiple relationships on people feeling like you'll always be the yes guy, they can kind of throw anything at you and you'll, you'll just be the people pleaser. You'll go along with all the things and then you all of a sudden stop.
Starting point is 00:04:08 That's really challenging for them first and foremost. But it changes the kind of relationship that you've had and some relationships will change. Some relationships will completely die and that's really challenging. And I've noticed that being my work in my 30s is I'm okay with being misunderstood, I'm okay with my relationships changing, I'm okay with chapters closing, I'm okay saying no and feeling like I'm letting people down, I'm okay disappointing people, I'm okay doing that stuff as long as I am true to myself, I'm in integrity with myself. And you know, if I just really trust that my inner compass is going in the right, is pointing in the
Starting point is 00:04:50 right direction, I'm okay with those things. I think that's a big reason that I loved Mel Robbins, Let Them Book. I just really, I think, put words to what I've felt in this last few years and kind of give me permission to just be doing life the way I'm doing it which is interesting because we don't need permission from anyone but it does feel good I think to know that you're not alone in the way that you've decided to live your life like the way that that book just completely took off like so many of us have resonated with it because we know that's the chapter of life that we're in and it's nice to have that validation. So kind of going back to that, the reality is like the version of having it all that society sells us is being an amazing mom,
Starting point is 00:05:34 being an incredible wife, being a powerhouse CEO, having the perfect body, meal prepping, all the organic meals, keeping a spotless house, like exhausting. And for a lot of us, it leads to resentment, it leads to burnout, it can lead to feeling like you're failing even when you're doing an absolutely incredible job. So I think let's break down what it really takes to thrive as a CEO, as a mother, as someone that wears a lot of hats without burning out, without feeling guilty, without constantly running on empty and hopefully a sense of being able to walk away with a sense of what balance looks like to you, what priorities are important to you and then what kind of success would actually serve you. I am so not here for the version of womanhood where you're running on empty. Like I'm really not here for it. That's like martyrdom where you are giving everything to everyone. You're so depleted.
Starting point is 00:06:35 There's nothing left for yourself. And being totally honest, that is definitely a pattern I can fall into if I'm not careful with it. So what I've noticed about myself is, you know, I'm one of eight kids and my mum's a single mum and I grew up with a mum that was so self-sacrificing. She had no needs. She didn't put her needs, like she never put herself first ever. She put everyone else before her. And that's the kind of the blueprint that I saw growing up and for me I've definitely noticed that I can seek my worthiness in the doing for other people and like being everything to everyone I can seek my worthiness and approval in that if I'm not regulating myself so if I'm not pouring
Starting point is 00:07:23 into myself if I'm not doing the work to really regulate myself if I'm not regulating myself. So if I'm not pouring into myself, if I'm not doing the work to really regulate myself, if I'm not really making sure I pour into myself and take care of my own energy, that is a default pattern I can fall into. And what will happen is, this is no one's fault but my own, I'll end up feeling like I'm bending over backwards for everyone doing, you know, putting everyone first, doing all the things,
Starting point is 00:07:45 all that. And then I'll notice me and Stephen will have an argument and I'll start listing out all the things like, but I'm doing X, Y, Z, like I'll just list out all these things. And it's, and I can almost step out my body and watch myself. And I'm like, you're playing the martyr right now. And it's almost to say like, Hey, look at how much I'm doing. Look at how worthy I am. Listen, I continue to do the work, but that just shows up for me still. And it's really important for me to get a handle on that. And I notice I really don't show up in that way when I am taking care of myself. It's mainly when I know I have let my self care drop, when I've let the
Starting point is 00:08:20 energy management drop and I just haven't been intentional, that's where I notice I fall into that pattern. And so it was really important to me not to set that example. I don't wanna set that example for my daughter but I also don't wanna be that wife to my husband because he is the most incredible husband. I mean, he fully splits everything with me
Starting point is 00:08:40 in this household. And when I've got more on my plate, he steps up. And when he's got more on his plate, I step up. And that's the kind of partnership that we've worked really hard to have. And so it's important to me that I really get myself in check and don't allow my patterns to sabotage that. Because we've all got patterns, like we've all got ways of showing off that sabotage that. Another thing that shows up for me when I'm really self-sacrificing is I just don't have the energy to pour into my relationship.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Like I'll notice if I'm having one of those weeks where I'm putting myself last, Stephen will propose a date night and I'm like, I'm way too exhausted. I don't want to. And that has a huge impact on our relationship. Like, yeah, one off, skipping the date night, fine. But if that's the way that I was to show up consistently, that's not good for the relationship. That, you know, it's really important to us,
Starting point is 00:09:33 especially having a toddler that we prioritize our relationship. Like our relationship has to be solid. And for that, you know, you need the alone time to get that. You need time to like really drop in as partners. And I know like come Friday night, if I have just fully self-sacrificed all week, I'm not gonna feel really energized to wanna go for a date night.
Starting point is 00:09:53 I'm not the kind of person to just push through it if I feel exhausted too. Like I wanna go and feel really energized and be really present with him. And I'm not gonna be like that if I'm exhausted. And so I will say no and I'll prioritize going to be like that if I'm exhausted. And so I will say no and I'll prioritize going to bed earlier, whatever, but I don't want to get to that place. And again, it's not the wife that I want to be. And so it's really important for me to work
Starting point is 00:10:15 on my stuff and work on myself so that I can show up the way that I want to show up. You know, I also don't want to get to the weekend and then feel like I'm just a lazy mum which by the way zero judgment like this happens. There's sometimes it gets to a Saturday and I'm just exhausted I'm like no I mean can we just like watch movies and chill and just that's also not the way that I want to show up. Like once in a while listen I'm not the mum that's fully against screen time. I do screen time in certain ways and there's certain boundaries that I have on it. Like, you know, there's no screen, no devices being used or watched, but I love watching a movie with her and she really likes doing that.
Starting point is 00:10:56 And we both get very regulated doing that. So I do like to do that, but that's not like, I don't want to feel like I have to do that because I'm so exhausted come Saturday, right? I want to feel like we, I have that because I'm so exhausted to come Saturday, right? I want to feel like we, I have the energy to just sit and play with her, to come up with fun ideas, to go out, to do really active things outdoors, like whatever it is, I want to feel like I've got that energy. And again, I think this is why, like we talk about self care is not selfish
Starting point is 00:11:22 because I know I cannot show up for the people that I care about if I'm absolutely depleted. That's just the truth. I am not superhuman. I'm not one of those people that can like ride it out on very little sleep or can just like push the way I'm feeling to the side. I really have to be intentional with my time and my energy. So somewhere along the way, I think the social media landscape, books,
Starting point is 00:11:45 TV, all the things, we have been sold this idea that being a good mum means being fully present 24-7, doing Montessori activities, cooking every single meal from scratch, never missing a school event and then you know when it comes to being an entrepreneurial mum, building a thriving multi-million dollar business and being a really engaged entrepreneurial mom, building a thriving multimillion dollar business and being a really engaged, loving partner, having a thriving sex life, all the things. But let's be real, no one is doing all the things
Starting point is 00:12:13 all the time. And when we try to do it all, we can often feel like we're failing in some or all areas, or we overcompensate in one area and feel really guilty about the others. And the worst part is that we are most often measuring ourselves against a highlight reel that we see on Instagram, TikTok of what these perfect mumpreneurs are doing, but we don't see the full picture that anyone's sharing. You know, the nannies, the chefs,
Starting point is 00:12:41 the housekeeper, the behind the scenes team running the business. And I know for know for myself you know that's not the kind of thing that I normally talk about. I think there's part of me that just like doesn't want to come across as braggy or taste I don't know I don't know why I don't necessarily share all of that but I think it is important to share like I do have a lot of help and I know that most of these people that we look at online who seem to be doing a lot in their day, in their weeks, in their months also have a lot of support. We have a nanny for Noemi, you know she has a nanny full-time. I have a housekeeper, I have a house manager, I have a full-time assistant, I have a whole team at Boss Babe, I have you know someone that specifically does all the organizing in my house on a weekly basis, like I have a whole team at Boss Babe. I have, you know, someone that specifically does all the organizing in my house on a weekly
Starting point is 00:13:28 basis like I have a lot of support and I never want to downplay any of that because I certainly don't ever want to come across like I have more hours in the day than anyone else. That's just the truth. That's the level of support that I have. And I think I shared was like the last episode of before that, in 2024, last year, I actually only had a nanny for six months of the year and the other six months I didn't because we were just having childcare issues. And so a lot of people are like, well, how did you do it? How are we running the business? And, you know, being with Noemi full time. But the truth was I still had other support, right? Like I still still had I had people prepping meals I had people keeping the house tidy I had people supporting me I had obviously my
Starting point is 00:14:09 team in the business that's really important for me to share because if you are a mom that doesn't have any childcare support but is also running a business but is also doing all of those other things in your house and being the one that's keeping your household running, don't compare yourself against someone that also has a lot of support. That's really important to me to have that support. And I'm really grateful that I've been able to build
Starting point is 00:14:34 my life and business in a way that affords it. But if I'm being totally honest, yes, I have a freedom-based business, but that does not come without its demands. My business can be really demanding. We have so many clients. We are doing a lot every single day and it has a lot of demands and it takes a lot of my energy to run this business. I try to outsource or delegate the stuff that I just don't enjoy
Starting point is 00:14:56 doing so that I can focus on where my time is most leveraged and on things that fill me up with energy versus drain me of energy. And again, listen, some of the shit that I do in the business, I don't enjoy at all. I know that's normal as a business owner and I try to keep that to the minimum. Like some of it's just like the tax you got to pay as a business owner, but I also do try and be really intentional about what I delegate and get off my plate. Let's keep going on this and then also talk about, you know, for women especially, ambition often comes with guilt, especially when you have kids.
Starting point is 00:15:30 That's just the plain fact of it. I know for some women it doesn't and I think that's amazing. For me personally, I never thought that I'd feel mom guilt at all. I would explain for me, the way I feel it is more, it's not the guilt per se, like when I really distill it,
Starting point is 00:15:48 it's like a sadness. When I feel like I'm not getting the time with Noemi that I really wanna get with Noemi, then I start to resent the business or you know what I mean. So it shows up different ways. Often we put the blanket term of guilt on this, but I think for a lot of us, it's actually a different word and it's deeper than that and so it doesn't always show up as it doesn't always show up as guilt but we might
Starting point is 00:16:09 label it as that. Other examples is you know if we work hard we can feel guilty about not being with our kids more or if we spend more time with our kids we feel guilty about not growing the business faster and let's also be honest no one is asking the dads the questions that the mums are getting asked you know the dads probably aren't questioning their ambition yet as moms we constantly feel like we have to prove that we're doing enough in every area and especially you know I will say for me where I have historically equated my worth to my work this is somewhere I have to be very, very intentional. So I just want to say this, your ambition is not a liability.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Wanting more for your business and for yourself does not make you a bad mum. It does not make you greedy. It does not make you fill in the blank that maybe you've been told before. It doesn't make you any of those things. It makes you a human that actually wants to be here making an impact, being the best version of yourself that you can be, giving your kids the best life that they could have, maybe one different to what you had. It is not a bad thing and I think we really need to deeply understand that, to deeply understand that our ambition for a better
Starting point is 00:17:26 life, our ambition for a certain lifestyle, our ambition to fulfill and maximize our potential is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a really beautiful thing to be gifted that as a human being. Like if you have that gift, I think that's something that you should be really grateful for because it is a really big driver to help you get places in life. And I think that's incredible. And I think the first step to kind of thriving in all of these roles is getting clear on what success actually looks like for you. Because the truth is every single person's definition of success is different but we're often running on the same definition of success. One that we've seen on Instagram or one
Starting point is 00:18:12 that we've seen perpetuated in society and we end up chasing a version of success that's actually not ours and that's what can lead to the burnout, the unfulfillment, the feeling like you're living a life that's not yours. So I think it really starts with asking yourself what kind of mum do you want to be? Not what society expects, but what feels good for you. If we think from first principles, which means we're just thinking on our own accord, not from anything that we have heard or has been done before. But if we're thinking from first principles, what does it look like for you to be a good mom?
Starting point is 00:18:49 Another question is what kind of business do you actually want? So not what looks impressive, not what might get you the applause, but what actually works for your life. When you're building a freedom-based business, you're ultimately building, you're allowing your business to be a vehicle for the life you want to live. But if you're not careful, it can end up becoming your entire life and not a vehicle toward the life you want to live.
Starting point is 00:19:13 And I think there's a really, really fine line there. And again, I think it comes back to intentionality. And then another question, which is often a hard one, but is what am I willing to let go of to make that happen? And I really believe, and we talk about this inside the See Your Mama membership, but I believe in every single season of life, you will have to let go of something to make your goals and your vision happen. Because in every single season, you're going to be prioritizing very different things.
Starting point is 00:19:42 And I'll talk about, you know know last year, last year was a huge year for us in business it was our biggest revenue and profit year ever with actually probably the smallest team that we've ever had in a full year and I've talked about it didn't have a lot of childcare we did so much travel I did 19 trips I was really mastering speaking learning how to keynote getting on a lot of stages like a lot of things on a lot of stages, like a lot of things, right? A lot of things going on. And I had to ask myself the question, what am I willing to let go of in this season to achieve my goals of, you know, I have my
Starting point is 00:20:15 business goals, I have the vision of how I want to show up in motherhood, I have a vision of how I want to show up in my marriage, I have a vision of how I want to show up in my marriage, I have a vision of how I want to show up in my health and wellness journey, of how I want to show up in my friendships, all this stuff. I had visions for all of that. And what I noticed was last year, I actually had to let go of a lot of friendships and not in this big dramatic way of like friendship breakups, nothing like that, but simply I knew I couldn't pour a lot of energy into a lot of friendships And so I actually got really discerning about which friendships do I want to pour into which friendships really energize me and
Starting point is 00:20:56 Really go all in on those. I don't know remember I don't know who talks about this but there's like the there's layers of friendships, right? like you have that really core tight in a circle and then the circles kind of get bigger and bigger beyond that where you'll have close friends and then you'll have like peripheral friends like you'll just you have different layers and levels of friends around you and i had a lot of people that weren't in my inner circle that previously i had given a lot of time to that i wasn't going to be giving a lot of time to anymore and i didn't make a big announcement or nothing like that it just changed the way I showed up. You know in 2023 I hosted so much at my
Starting point is 00:21:33 house. I hosted so many events for my friends, I hosted so many get-togethers, I had like a regular standing coffee and bake morning on a Friday where friends would come around we just have coffee together, we would eat things like I would bake cakes and stuff like that. I did a lot of hosting in 2023 and I just knew 2024 that's not something that I have a lot of time for or more importantly that I want to prioritize. I want to prioritize other things and so I need to let that be okay and I let go of the guilt of that because here's the thing if I was trying to be a 10 out of 10 in every area of my life my health my friendships my marriage my parenting my business all the different areas I would inevitably yes I would let people down but I would feel like I've
Starting point is 00:22:18 let myself down I would feel guilty that I'm not showing up in certain ways but when I actually decided where I'm gonna take the energy down like you know what I'm only gonna show up five out of ten in that area then when I've hit the five out of ten I feel good I feel like okay that's exactly what I intended so that's also I think really important when it comes to the guilt piece is just knowing how much energy you can and want to give in certain areas of your life and kind of on the same vein if we all know this if everything is a priority then nothing is a priority and I really think the key to really thriving
Starting point is 00:22:54 as a CEO as a mom is getting crystal clear on what matters most to you and protecting those things fiercely and so I typically focus on three main priorities in a given time. You know, it's kind of the same three things for me. And then there's the lower priorities, but my business, my family, my health, those are always my top three priorities all the time. That is the most important thing to me. And so I say no to a lot of things that do not serve those priorities. I spend so much time with my family and it's not just my daughter, my husband,
Starting point is 00:23:37 but also my family who live in the UK. Like anyone that knows me will tell you my house is like a revolving door. I always, always have a full house. I always have so many people in my home. My guest bedroom is always full. I have bunk beds in my playroom. I have a house that we've really built for hosting and I absolutely love that. I feel so fulfilled when I have a full house.
Starting point is 00:24:04 And so my family is just really, really, really important to me. And I technically would class my closest friends as my family too, like very, very, very close friends. I class them as my family. So that's really, really important to me. My health, really important to me. Get working out, being active, take my supplements,
Starting point is 00:24:24 my diet, my nervous system, any kind of health, wellness, biohacking practice is really, really important to me because that is probably my biggest lever when it comes to my energy and that's really, really important to me. You know, I'm in my 30s now and I want to feel this vibrant and energetic for as long as I possibly can and I don't take that for granted at all and I really really make sure I prioritize it. I work out even on the days where I've got a lot on even on the weeks where I've got a lot on I always prioritize that and then my business look it's important to me it is. I absolutely love what I do and I'm so proud of what I've built
Starting point is 00:25:06 that I really put so much care and attention into that and that just really matters to me. So those are my three things and beyond that I say no to a lot and I really am unapologetic about that now. Didn't used to be. Used to be chronic people pleaser that would say yes to everything and anything, but I just do now. So a practical way you could do this is looking at your calendar for the week. If it is filled with things that do not align with your priorities, it is time to start cutting. And I know this sounds really cliche, but I'm going to say it anyway. Every yes to something unimportant is a no to something that truly matters. It really, really is. And so you have to get ruthless about what you're willing to say
Starting point is 00:25:51 no to. And this is really woo woo, but I honestly think the universe tests you a little bit. Like I see this with myself. Like I genuinely think when I'll make a commitment of, okay, moving forward, I'm going to say no to this, the universe will test me. So for example, last year, last November, I made the commitment to myself that I will not take on any more one-to-one clients. Like I'm fully complete with that and I won't do any more VIP strategy days, fully complete with that, even though I had a really long wait list for both. And listen, let's just be honest, it's also a really lucrative business
Starting point is 00:26:26 model. I absolutely love it. I love getting to work with these types of clients they generally have really established businesses they're amazing women most often they are women that I look up to and so working with them really lights me up. Their businesses are generally businesses that are having a really really positive impact on the world and I charge a lot for what I do. So it's fulfilling and it's incredibly lucrative, right? I mean, I think that's just important to say, like it just is what it is. I charge well upwards of six figures to work with me one to one.
Starting point is 00:26:58 And so I had a wait list and I said in November, Hey, I'm complete with that. Like that's not no longer going to be part of the business model moving forward. And December and January, I got reach outs from, I mean, women that a few years ago, I would have been like, if you would ever tell me they want to work with me one to one, like I think you were lying. And I would say to them, you know, it would really be testing me. Like, come on Natalie, do you really want to say no to this? And I would end up saying to them, listen, it would have been a dream to work with you,
Starting point is 00:27:24 but I don't do that anymore, I'm really sorry. And then they'll come back and they're like, name your price. And it is such a universal test. Like I really think that is the universe testing me to be like Natalie, you said this is what you want, is it genuinely what you want? And it's hard sometimes to say no to that kind of thing. Cause I then think about,
Starting point is 00:27:42 I think about so many things with it, but it's important for me to honor what my priorities and my goals and my vision. I ultimately do say no, but it doesn't make it easy, but I just have to know what's important to me. So I'm telling you, if you do start thinking about, okay, what are my yeses? What are my no's? This is what I do. This is what I don't do.
Starting point is 00:28:03 I bet you'll start getting tested and you'll be like, you know what, I have to get really clear on whether I am or I'm not going to do this. So keeping it moving, I think another big shift that we can make is giving yourself permission to get help. In business, that means delegating, hiring support, automating. There is so much support available even with AI these days, with AI agents these days that you don't even necessarily need an employee if you can't afford one. There are so many options available to all of us that we get to start getting stuff off of our plate. And then at home it means childcare, it might
Starting point is 00:28:42 mean cleaning support, housekeeping support, meal delivery, whatever makes your life easier and I know some of you are thinking like I've done it on my own this whole time why should I not continue to do it that way. I just don't believe that we were ever meant to do everything alone you know we previously brought our kids up in villages and we had a real level of support built in to our community. We don't have that anymore unless you really do live on the same block as your family. We really don't have that anymore and we buy into this thing that we should do it all alone. I just personally don't and I think if you do have the ability to get some help,
Starting point is 00:29:27 I think that is such an important thing to do. And I know, listen, this is a privileged position to come from, but if you're, if you can charge $50 an hour and then you can outsource something for $20 an hour, why not do that? Why not free yourself up to be the most leveraged that you can be. I really try to be as leveraged as I can be. I try to use my time in the most effective way possible. That really matters to me and I will outsource as much as I can and then I have little rules to myself too. Like I generally do like to cook all of my family's meals from scratch. That's really important to me because we always you know ever since Naomi was born even before she was
Starting point is 00:30:10 eating we've still always had every meal together as a family. Me and Stephen have done that since the day that we met so it's just a family value of ours as we sit down and we eat together. That's morning and night we do every single breakfast. We do every single breakfast together. We do every single dinner together. And so it's just a routine that we all have that we cook together. Breakfast and dinner. However, I have a rule for myself. If I am solo parenting and there's just a lot going on that week, I will just happily order takeout without any guilt. And it's just one thing to take off my plate and not have to think about. And so it's just like building in those little my plate and not have to think about. And so it's just like building in those little rules for yourself, why you can give yourself that grace and just
Starting point is 00:30:50 make something a little bit easier, take one thing off that mental load that I think makes the big difference. And then another thing, you know, building on priorities is creating a schedule that works for you. It's not about balancing at all. We know that's so outdated by this point but it really is about intentionally structuring your time so that you are really present where it matters. So a few things that will help. Time blocking your work hours and sticking to them instead of just trying to squeeze in any ounce of work all day. Having dedicated family time without distractions, without your phone so you can be really present and building in buffer time for yourself because like we talked
Starting point is 00:31:31 about you matter, your energy matters. Your schedules should support your life and it should reflect your priorities not the other way around and so build a schedule that actually feels doable to you and maybe it means that your kid doesn't do every single activity. Like maybe that just doesn't work for your family right now. I think it's important to have those conversations as a family and make those decisions. Every season is going to require something very very different of you and I think the best thing we can do is be honest about the season that we're in and be intentional about the season that we're in and not allow the guilt of well we should be doing all of those things or we should be able
Starting point is 00:32:10 to not allowing the shoulds or the guilt to come and make decisions for you because if you don't feel like you have autonomy you're gonna feel really resentful and i'll leave you with this because i could really go on about all of this for hours. I hope you know this but for the mums out there who just constantly feel stretched thin, your child does not need a perfect mum. They need a happy and fulfilled mum. They need to see a mum who prioritises herself, who goes after her own dreams, maybe who's building something meaningful if that's important to you, who takes care of herself, that is just as valuable as time spent with them and I just think it's really important to remind ourselves of that. I have to remind myself of that often. The idea of having
Starting point is 00:32:57 it all is really really flawed and you need to define what success looks like for you. Prioritisation is absolutely everything. So get clear on what actually matters to you in this season and protect it. Get help, stop doing everything on your own or expecting yourself to do everything on your own and really just understand what your energy levers are. What can you do that is going to make sure
Starting point is 00:33:25 your energy is where it needs to be? Are you taking care of your health? Are you getting regular blood work? Are you checking your minerals? Are you eating a blood sugar balancing diet? Are you moving the body? When we talk about the foundations of your health and your energy, those things are really, really important.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Are you regulating your nervous system? Is your home environment one that actually feels good and energizing to be in? Are you spending your time with people that actually lift your energy up versus drain it? Are you living a life that is really true and authentic to you? Are you living one you think you should be living? All of these things contribute to the level of energy you have on a day-to-day basis and I think it's really really important to get clear on those things and be really honest with yourself about what you need to be the version of yourself that you can be really proud of. That's what
Starting point is 00:34:18 matters and that's gonna be different for every single one of us. Like we talked about success looks different for every single one of us. Like we talked about success looks different for every single one of us. But if you can define your version of success then you can really be proud of yourself when you hit that and when you're living that and when you're living those values that really matter to you. So as we wrap up I would love to challenge you to release one expectation or obligation that is draining you. Maybe it's something in your business, maybe it's something at home, maybe it's even a relationship. Whatever it is, see if you could let it go and give yourself permission to focus
Starting point is 00:34:55 on what actually matters. Having it all is not about doing everything at all, it's about choosing what matters most and doing that. So I hope this has been helpful. I hope this resonates. Like I've said throughout I certainly don't have it all figured out. I just feel like every every few months I'm like I'm getting a little bit better and I'm getting a little bit better and I think that's the most important thing. So if this resonated with you please leave a comment. Let me know, make sure you subscribe to the show. It would mean the absolute world to me, but any feedback would be incredible and really helps me to know what kind of content to create next.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Wait, wait, wait before you go. I would love to send you my seven figure CEO operating system completely free as a gift. All you've got to do is leave us a review on this podcast because it really supports the growth of this show. This is my digital masterclass where I'll show you what my freedom-based daily, weekly, and monthly schedule looks like as an eight figure CEO, mama and high performer. And I'll walk you through step by step
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