the bossbabe podcast - 478: Mama Gena: Why Successful Women Lose Their Feminine Fire (And How to Get It Back)

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

Why is it that so many ambitious, successful women find themselves feeling disconnected from their feminine energy, and even struggling in their relationships because of it?In this powerful episode, Mama Gena (author of Pussy: A Reclamation and founder of The School of Womanly Arts) joins Natalie to unpack the conditioning that teaches women to “man up” in order to succeed + shares how that very conditioning often leaves us burnt out, resentful, and craving deeper intimacy. You’ll learn why polarity matters in relationships, how to reconnect with your sensuality and pleasure without losing your ambition, and the simple daily practices that can reignite your feminine fire. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing it all but still missing something, this conversation will show you a whole new way forward. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Why high-achieving women often lose touch with their feminine fire02:22 - How childhood conditioning and cultural myths shape our relationships06:32 - The real reason polarity breaks down in modern partnerships11:12 - Why success at work can create challenges in love (and what to do about it)17:45 - A story of choosing love over power + what it taught Mama Gena26:07 - Practices to release resentment and reconnect with your body33:40 - How to turn rage into pleasure (and why it changes everything)41:00 - Simple rituals to bring more turn-on, joy, and ease into your day47:49 - The power of sisterhood in keeping your feminine energy alive55:00 - Redefining value: why money isn’t the only measure of success RESOURCES + LINKSDownload Mama Gena’s Ultimate Guide to Getting What You Want For Free Right Here. Click Here To Join Mama Gena For A Free 4-Day Live Event To Awaken Your Emotional Genius, Uncork Your Stuckness, And Remember The Power Of Your Truth, Your Tears, And Your Turn-On. Click Here To Get Mama Gena’s Course House Of Turn On: An 8-Week Initiation Into The Deepest Power You’ve Never Been Taught To Trust - Your Pleasure. Sign Up For Our Free Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More. Drop Us A Review On The Podcast + Send Us A Screenshot & We’ll Send You Natalie’s 7-Figure Operating System Completely FREE (value $1,997)

Mama Gina, welcome to the podcast. So good to be here, Natalie. I am so excited about this. I first discovered your work, I think it was seven years ago. And I remember the first... What was the moment? Was it reading Pussy Reclamation? It was.

Boom, boom. What's so funny is that I'd just been on a planned medicine retreat. I was like in the thick of just figuring. out all my things and I came out of it just like a whirlwind and I got drawn to this book but me and Stephen were going away for the weekend with our friends and I took this book and I didn't put it down my head was in it the whole time and his friends were like what is that that you're reading and I couldn't put it down all weekend and it was amazing the best introduction to your work ever I am so so so so so glad it's exactly what I wanted to do be it's about

I wanted to be like yeah it like ingest yeah that whole chapter and verse of feminine, sensual, erotic education that gets left out for all girls and women. So I'm so glad that I hit you. And also that really open time right after a plant medicine journey, potent. Okay. So you and I've been in dialogue for seven years. Without you knowing it. So I'm a big fan of your work.

And I'm so glad that you're here because I feel like you are the perfect woman to speak to my audience where they're at. So giving you a little TLDR of where most of the listeners right now are at very high-achieving women. Yeah. Most of the time, the breadwinners of their family and really, really struggling to create that polarity in their relationships. Some of them even listening to this are like, Natalie, what is polarity? Oh, that's right. Can we dive into that? Why does this happen?

Yeah. And is there a fix? Okay. First of all, when you were a little girl, did you ever hear of somebody called Cinderella? Yes. Sleeping Beauty? Snow White. I didn't heard about those people, too.

And I have to tell you, Natalie, what I tried so hard when I was raising my daughter, Maggie, and she's 26 now. I tried so hard to keep her away. I thought if I just keep her from Disney, she won't, like, get into that whole mythology of thinking someday a prince is going to come and awaken her and save her and support her and lead her to her dreams and provide everything that she needs or wants. But, of course, it didn't work because whenever she'd go for a sleepover. What would they watch? And the next Disney movie. And so we are steeped, like, almost like brood in this construct that a prince will come to take us to our dreams, to support us and take care of us. And it's a kind of pleasant thought.

It's, you know, we all want that rich daddy man to look after us. And then when life strikes and passions awaken in a woman, and we, we all want that rich daddyman to look after us. woman, and we want to have our voices heard in the world, and we have longings and desires for more presence to serve the world in our very specific ways. And sometimes we're so fucking clever, we actually out-achieve, out-earn the guys that we're seeing are dating. And then that just like messes with our heads, because it's not how we thought life was supposed to be. And so this is something that no woman on this planet is exempt from because you don't want to hold back your gifts and talents. You don't want to hold back your power, your ability to be the fullness of who you are. And at the same time, how can he be a prince if you're out earning him? How can he be a prince if you're out creating him? Like, what is it that he is offering to you that you could not get yourself? Those are the questions. And then this is the worst part. And this happens to me. And by the way, between my partner, and myself, I make a shit ton more money than he does. And I choose him. And it has not always been

that way. I tried to get rid of him. And perhaps I'll tell you that story in a moment. I just want to say if you're thinking about getting rid of him, allow this podcast to sort of, you know, steep through your soul because you may have some alternatives for you. I love this. Oh, I'm so, so glad. Tell me about that. I really love how you said that I still, I choose him. What did it look like when you were thinking about leaving. Okay, here's the story. So I, much like you, created myself from my own imagination and kind of my awakening. I was so, you know, I had a really challenging childhood with a lot of abuse. And so I've always felt broken. And it wasn't until I connected with pleasure, which is a, if you want to make this voyage with your dude, you must, must, must

Connect with pleasure. Because you will not make it if you are continuing to man up and strap on that gigantic cock that we all have. The energetic cock. I don't need a real one. Don't you know? Like, I mean, your energetic cock is big, baby. And I like I really like to brag about my energetic cock. It's vast, wide. And I'm proud of it. But it's not useful in the partnership. So my journey started with my heartbreak. of my childhood and then as I grew up I was always searching when I was little the goddess came to me when I was a child and she sat on my pillow and she looks not that different from you you know what I mean like I could but I couldn't really see her she was my periphery but there was just something like she was holding a radiance and when I was in her presence I could just feel this beautiful butterscotch feeling inside my body and I was like that that's how I want to feel and I turned to look Woof! She would vaporize. So I learned she was in the periphery, and it became my quest to search for her and find her. And after a long, you know, circuitous journey, because all longings start with desire. And desires do break us and remake us over our lifetime. So as I found what I was looking for in the most unexpected place, because I swear when I was a little kid, I figured there had to be a church where there was a goddess leading the parade. But there really is not yet. There will be. So I was doing a class. and part of the homework invited me to create a special sacred place for myself, which I'd never done before because I grew up. I was raised by a 1950s housewife who taught me your job is to take care of your brothers, take care of your family, take care of your boss, take care of your girlfriends, take care of everyone, but don't take care of yourself. So I was running on empty. And this class invited me to, like, buy flowers for myself, a special drink that I wanted

little snacks, give myself a bath, lights and candles. Only for me, I'd never created pleasure for myself. I didn't even know that was an option. I thought my only purpose was to take care of people and places and things. And so in so doing, I felt time and space change. I felt my interior chemistry melt. And the next part of the exercise, we were to look in the mirror and look for what was right. Now, when you look in the mirror, every day. Do you look for what's right? Me neither. No. I always look for my flaws. I'm like, okay, puffy, no puffy. Hair, do I have to wash my hair? You know, like that kind of check of what is missing. And so this was the first time I literally ever gazed at myself with the eyes of a child.

When I met my own gaze, I saw the very thing I'd been looking for. I saw the goddess inside of me. And I was like, oh, my fucking shitballs. This is not just me. It's every single woman. We don't know that the goddess lives inside of us and that we get to her by experiencing pleasure. No one tells us this. And so I knew immediately that was my calling. I didn't know how to do it or what to do or where to go. And I ended up having to have a huge education first for many, many years. But I knew that it was time that we awakened, that divinity within or we are useless.

We will always be the cog in somebody else's wheel. We will always be being pushed around, bossed around, used, but not in charge of our own magic and majesty and in connection with our life force and in connection with most importantly our divinity. Because it's not just man that was created in God's image. It was the feminine is inhabited by the goddess. And so that changed me and made me a lifelong practitioner of the discipline and the practice of pleasure. Okay, this is the deal breaker sisters. I know you already do too much. I know you're already working too hard.

I know you're already at the end of your rope. But the practice and the discipline of pleasure is the game changer. And it is the thing, the fuel that starts to feed partnership differently. And you'd think I would know this shit because I'm mama fucking Gina. But, you know, I raised my kid myself because I got divorced when she's a little girl. I build the pleasure revolution. the School of Womanly Arts, I scale my business from 10 women in my living room to thousands of women at the Javid Center and other venues. So I'm feeling myself. I'm feeling like, okay, we're bringing back the goddess. We're doing good.

And I'm swinging my big dick around the world, boss people around, making shit happen, you know. And how strange, curious, I couldn't really attract a partner in that time. Lovers? Oh. No problem. I could, I had, that was no big deal. But someone who cherished me. I think my dick was just too big. No one could get close. It was a monster. And I think our men weren't taught that they had to like deal with that. So, but I longed for that. And one day, just really right after pussy came out, a man kind of wandered into my world, Peter, and he was the most loving, attentive, attuned man that I had ever met, patient, always showing up for me. And of course, I'm just saying this is like a cautionary tale. The last thing I wanted was for him to be anywhere near me because he loved me. And I was like,

ew, this is so gross. He's so attentive. What's wrong with him? I really could not comprehend. Like, how could somebody be that way? It took me a really long while. Did you have that too? Did you grow up with the loving, loving household and your daddy cherished you? No, I grew up in a very chaotic, abusive household, so much going on. But I will say, I don't know how, I always attracted really amazing men, but it took me quite a long time to figure out how to be in relationship with them. And I'm still learning. I'm eight years married now with my husband, and I'm still very much learning.

Wow. So I don't know how. I didn't play out my patterns in relationship. I attracted great men, but being in relationship with it, I found very challenging. Yeah. I think you're right. That is the challenging part. It's like how do we not fall into that mythology that will scorch us and torch the partnership

and how do we stay in connection with our pussies first? Because I think it's pussy, heart, head. It's got to start with a woman being sovereign about. owning her pleasure and not thinking that her guy or her female partner is responsible for her pleasure. So Peter and I got together. He was unbelievably like just beautiful, loving, connected. And after we've been together and we were engaged actually, although the day he proposed to me, he was like, I got this ring, let's be engaged. I was like, what? Really? You know, and then I was like, Calm down, Regina. Calm down. You can do this. And then we got engaged. But very soon after that,

I started to think, he can't be exactly right. I'm like an alpha. I'm Mama Gina. I should be with a king, a world changer, somebody who's leading the frontiers like I am. We should be charging together on our white stallions towards conquering the world. It should be a power couple. And then, of course, the great pussy in the sky being who she is, you might call it fate. destiny, God, universal life flow, whatever. But I met somebody that seemed to be that. And so I thought, okay, this will be great. I will kick Peter out. And I'm going with him. I'm going with Alpha, alpha, dude. Okay, so that lasted about maybe a year and a half. And then I was really starting to see, like, I miss that attunement. I miss being cherished. I miss being seen. I miss the way he held me.

And here's how bad I was. I couldn't even see the way he held me. I so didn't acknowledge it. I didn't let it penetrate me because I was so into the capitalistic, colonialistic, myth-making ethos that I was about, like, getting bigger and getting more powerful and growing the business, setting more and more women free or whatever I thought I was doing. I, like, missed that he painted my mailbox pink because pink's my favorite color. I bought a beach house and he carefully took out each brass doorknob and polished it so the brass color could be shiny. Like, I didn't take those things in. And so there was a crucial day.

I mean, you brought up plant medicine. So for me, it was MDMA. Have you enjoyed that one yet? Yes. It's quite lovely. It is. In my case, changed my fucking life. Because I made this decision.

Like, I've got the alpha man. And Peter, even though he was dating someone else, dating a lot of other people, but dating someone else specifically, he never lost touch. He always had a hand at my back. He was always there if I needed. He would check in on me. We'd have sleepovers now and then. And so I thought, let me do MDMA with Peter and then I'm going to do it with Alpha Guy. I'm going to see which one. That's a good plan. Wasn't it? It was practical. It was like a boss babe thing to you. Yeah. So I had that experience and I didn't realize honestly, how much trauma I was holding in my body. MDMA is used to help people heal from PTSD. They've done so many studies on it with people that were in war zones. And it works better than

decades of therapy at allowing someone to connect with their heart and open their heart again after they've been broken. And as soon as the medicine hit my system, I just looked at Peter. You know how that is when you take that medicine and then you see somebody. And is it like you see their soul? Is that how it is for you? Have you tried it with your husband? I have. Yeah, we used to have a little ritual.

Obviously not in this season, but we used to have a ritual. And it's amazing because we could go into ceremony just being at each other. And then the minute you feel it hit, it's like everything melts away and you just see their heart. And it's a really beautiful experience. Anne, did you find that that experience of seeing and feeling their heart? Like, it doesn't ever leave you even after the drug goes away. Yeah, we can sit and just look in each other's eyes and I feel like we can just drop into that place, which is really beautiful. Yeah, it's amazing.

I'm so glad that you have that with him because especially now with the babies, it's so. We need all the help we can get. The help you can get. It is, you know, it's almost like how do you even find each other when they're so. much and so much expansion so quickly yeah and in the moments why you don't have hours and hours of ceremony how can you really just drop into seeing each right right right right yeah so once the walls came down and i saw peter and just like my eyes filled with tears he was the crazy part i never had my pussy and my heart in the same bed with the same man before and it was like

whoa i could feel this much love i could be this vulnerable And my pussy can be turned on. Wow. And I just felt like I turned to him literally probably an hour into the experience. I was like, Peter, I can marry you now. Like all that that was before it melted away, I could marry you. And meanwhile, I didn't really know that Peter was going, hmm, that's interesting. Okay.

Can you know? Good for you. What about my feeling last year and half? But it was like such a breakthrough and that led to, since I told you, in that and we were so vulnerable and I thought that we were going to now that I was really going to be the Cinderella and the Sleeping Beauty that I was on for me were going to go off and we were going to get married and live our dream for happily ever afterland and instead a few days later he called me and he said oh you know that girl I was dating we decided to move in together chilly right okay

it was chilly but it was the greatest learning curve of my life because I was pressed against the wall. And suddenly, instead of me being the recipient of his open heart for all those years we've been together, now I had to learn how to open mine. And I didn't know how to open my heart. I knew how to check things off my to-do list. I knew how to decide if he was adequate or not if the task he just completed. Yeah. I knew how to be in criticism of him. And I knew how to have expectations that were quite lofty that he could never fulfill. I was good at that also. So, but to keep opening my heart and then actually, and do you know Annie Lala? Yeah.

Okay, she helped me so much with this of teaching me how to love. She's a coach. And she taught me, okay, Regina, like, can you love that? Peter is finally, instead of trying to please you all the time, please himself and stand for himself and stand in his masculine instead of waiting on you hand and foot. And I was like, oh, such a relief. It's such a relief. And so she's like, okay, then love what's happening now. Love that he's got this other woman in his life. Love that this other woman brings parts of him forward, that you were unable to bring forward. And it became the greatest learning curve of my life. Because honestly, I could have probably never in this lifetime learned

to truly love a man, were it not for this opportunity to love. love Peter while he was deep into a relationship with another woman while keeping my heart wide open. I did receive a lot of criticism from people. They're like, what the fuck are you doing, Regina? Just walk away. My mom was like, really? You're just going to be pathetic like that? But I believed, I think I believed deeply inside of me that he would come back on day because I decided that I was very as horrible as I was at loving him, my plan was to be great at it. And I think that's the thing about having a big dick, because big dicks get things done. And I thought, I'm going to have big dick love.

I'm not going to stop until I get great at it. I'm not going to stop until I hold the space for my pussy to stay open. I don't know why that makes sense. Like a big dick would help your pussy stay open, but somehow it made sense inside as a metaphor. Yeah, like, I was like, I am going to stand for my turn on, for my surrender, for my expanding love for him. Okay, one time he even said to me, will you please have lunch with her, take her to lunch, so that you can reassure her that you don't want me back. And I was like, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think she's going to be reassured. Like, oh my goodness.

What did you do it? He said, please do it. She's quite nervous about you. And I was like, okay, I'll do it. And I remember it was like right around Christmas. So I wrote this beautiful note about how grateful I was that she was in Peter's life and how she was expanding him. And I was seeing him grow in ways I couldn't have ever dreamed. I bought her beautiful bathrobe. And I met her for lunch. And I had made a promise to myself. Do not tell her about your plan for one day, get him back. Keep it to yourself, Regina. But right before I left, one of my girlfriends called me, and she asked me where I was going. I was there. I told her. And she was like, well, you're going to tell her the truth, right, about what you want. And I was like, no, Peter doesn't want me to do it.

And she said, well, you are somebody that teaches women to stand for their truth no matter what. Why would you stop today? Bam, I know. It was like that. It was like the mic dropped. And so I went, I met her. He had a lovely time. We talked about our kids who were both single moms, la, la, la.

I've reassured her. I appreciated her. And then it was time to go. And just as we're about to get up from the table, she goes, and who is Peter to you? And I said, my beloved, the man I love above all other men. And then we left. And I think that was kind of, it was probably a.

pivotal moment because instead of wondering, she knew. And eventually over the next six months or so, my continuing to just be so right with everything and to see the queen in her and the king in him and to support them both in for as long as this was going to happen between them, the tide eventually changed. And I think it would have been stressful if I were in her spot because he would see me now and then throughout this. And I have only the highest regard for her, but ultimately it was not something that she wanted to continue with. I get that. And so eventually Peter and I got back together again. And fast forward, which I thought it was going to be like the happiest and it was going to be nothing but, you know, butterflies and Bambi and a big white wedding and all those kind

things. And instead, eventually, I got guided exactly back into that cock-sucking fucking spot of me thinking, wait a minute, I'm the fucking breadwinner. How am I supposed to soften my pussy now? Oh, God. Help me. Help all of us. But here's the thing. There is a chapter in Pussy A Reclamation, which is about the Cortizan. Do you remember that chapter? It's about these These women who lived in like Venice or Paris. Oh, yes. These women who actually were, they weren't prostitutes. They were personages.

They were people that cultivated the womanly arts inside of themselves. And they did it because you know how you are. Like you built a business based on your vision and your desire and it went boom. So you know you have this ability. It's not just the power of attraction. It's almost like you are quantum. physician and you created something with your intention, your turn on, your trust, your vision, your desire.

And cordizons knew this and how they would approach their lives would be they had to turn on, whether they were keeping the company of some gnarly old toothless king or his hot, stable boy. They understood that we as women have something called volitional heat. And what is volitional heat? Like if you were a horse and I was a kitten, we don't have volitional heat. We only go into heat when the estrus cycle kicks on in our body. And then suddenly our ovaries are popping and we're ready to be fertilized.

And then all the alley cats are chasing me and all the stallions are running after you. And that's the animal world. But humans, we have volitional heat, meaning we can. Turn it on. Any time we want to turn it on. You know, like you go out with your girlfriends and you see a, in our single days. We go out with our girlfriends. We see a hot guy in a bar at a party and we're like, oh yes, hello. Suddenly we're like turned on. We're not giggling with the girls anymore. We're like, we're turned on. And so, well, I studied the cortisans. And so I knew that these were women that cultivated the practice of being so much. their pleasure on such a consistent basis, practicing all the womanly arts, owning their beauty, the womanly art of flirtation, the womanly art of having fun no matter what, you know, that's not an easy one, especially when you have babies, the womanly art of turning on your inner bitch, inviting abundance, like these are women that practiced these skills. And we weren't even

taught these skills. It's why I started the school in the very beginning was because I thought, You know, we can be successful and we can cultivate the practices of pleasure that attune us to the enjoyment of the privilege of being a woman. So that's when I double down. When I started to see us going flat and I started to see my disapproval rise, my criticism and me swinging the big cock out once, you know, just so I could have like, I don't know what that was. Dungeons and Dragons with Peter's cock and my cock. You know, there was going to be, it was clear victim. So what I would do is when I would get really, really stuck, I would throw down a mat, throw on a piece of music, put on my lingerie.

And if I was raging and angry, I would just rage with that music. And I would just rage and rage and rage. It's a practice called swamping that I teach. And pour all of that anger instead of at Peter. It was between myself and the music. And I would rage until it morphed into turn-on. So instead of it just being, it turned into hot, hip grinding, pussy drenching, rage that flooded through every part of my being. And suddenly instead of being, I'm going to kill you, it was I'm turned on.

And that was a different place to approach him. So it became, and I don't want it to sound like another thing on your to-do list, because we have too many things on our to-do list. But honestly, women have a choice, anger or pleasure, and no man can make that decision for us. He might have opinions about it, but we're just going to get pissed at him if he asks for that. But when we ask for that, we feel like a genius. We feel like a cortisone. We're like, oh, I am so good. I'm going to take this rage that I want to choke him and just like punch his lights out.

And I am going to turn it on with this swamping practice. I'm going to hit the mat. And I am going to get all hot and turn. And then from there, you can actually make a request of your partner that will king him and queen you. So for me, I absolutely did not want to do this. I wanted him to be wrong. I was like, what is that about women that we want our men to be wrong? Can you please explain that to me?

I wish I could. But I totally get it when you're talking about swinging the dick around. I'm like, sometimes it does feel like you're in this dick measuring contact. And it's the worst place to be because nobody's going to win. Nobody is going to leave that situation feeling good. Right on. And don't you think like between us, your dick is a lot bigger than his? We all do.

Yeah. No, I think. And what's so funny is they are normally happy to let you believe that too. And then they build resentment and then you're building resentment. It's just like you never win. Yes, exactly. And I have tried so many different hacks about this. Like, let's say Peter wants to connect with me centrally, and I'm all wound up from a big workday.

I'll look at that situation, and I'll be like, he wants to connect with me centrally. All I want to do is, like, have a hot bath and a cigarette, and I don't even smoke. So then I'll be like, okay, Peter, you're going to have to leave 100 bucks on the dresser because it's a night that Regina can show up, but my cortisone could for cash. We'll do it for crash. I don't know why. Why don't it make a difference? It might not be everybody's candy, but it helps me. Yeah.

I think it's just like a thing that will remind me that I am in charge of my turn-on. And the difficulty that I and all women have is, first of all, we don't have a cultivated practice of turn-on. We aren't doing things every single day that will fuel us. We're massively undercombed. We do not have nearly enough orgasms to keep our divinity inside of our bodies. We're always chasing it, thinking that after the long day, maybe we'll have a bath and treat ourselves well. But it really takes like countless minuscule decisions throughout the day that lead to a woman being able to fuel herself with pleasure. So do you want to do some practices right now to serve the people?

Yeah. Okay, great. So, all right, let's just take your hand and just rest it on your pussy right now. Oh, my goodness. This is probably something no one's seen the bus made podcast before. Okay. It's like the source of life itself. And don't even have to put it exactly on, just even just a little bit apart.

And I want you to see if you can feel that there's like a little heat cultivating between your hand and your pussy. And your pussy is starting to get warm or maybe a light buzz happening in there. Can you feel her aliveness? Mm-hmm. Okay, great. That aliveness is the goddess. That's the life force. Can you feel that?

And maybe it's just really pussycentric, just right there. But it's just like a little kind of tingle that you've awakened, that your body is already, you know, we've got 10,000 nerve endings dedicated to pleasure in our clitorises. And those 10,000 nerve endings, if we don't pay attention to them, they shut down. They atrophy. Not your clit. Your clit never atrophies. never never your whole life long but you know just like a muscle if you don't use it you she'll just put the shutters up so just activating her can you just feel like it's a slight energetic shift in

your body now okay that's a perfect easy one another one that you can do that nobody really will suspect you're activating you can just run your your hand like really slowly anywhere really I mean it could be you don't have to obviously running your hand slowly and evocatively on your face like you're doing podcast. I'm like, now I'm going to. No one will know it too. Well, you know what though? It's so riveting when a woman does do something like even if she just stroke her own

eyebrow. Isn't that pleasureful just to watch a woman taking pleasure from yourself? Yeah, so calming. It does. You just kind of calms you're all nervous and sit down. It's amazing. It's amazing. Okay, so it's another little trick.

Another one is if you have a warm mantra, which is, you know, where you just have a thought in your head. Like for you, the warm mantra I'd pick for you might be like, I have the hottest pussy on Instagram. Okay, great. And you don't have to say it out loud. You just sit there and you're thinking. So you just see a saying it in your head?

You just have it in your head as a thought because we don't even clock the amount of hours that we spend in self-doubt, self-hatred, self-criticism, self-deprecation. But if you just have a little wum mantra that you practice and then suddenly instead of of having to think, oh, God, I should have thrown the wash-in before I left today. There's nothing in the house for dinner. And I think I put on a couple of pounds after, you know, going out to dinner three nights this week. Oh, God. And then you think, I have a lot of fussy.

I ain't saying that. It's just thing. Yeah, yeah. And what you're doing there is you're using the practice of volitional heat. You're turning yourself on. And you're also, by doing, you are turning on your neurotransmit. transmitters such as beta endorphin, prolactin, serotonin, and you are reading yourself of cortisol, all those stress hormones, and you're turning on all of these beautiful hormones that activate

inside you and create a pleasurable experience. So imagine if, I don't know, you just put your phone on timer and once an hour, you put your hand near your pussy to feel a little buzz, the next hour, Maybe you, I want to do it with me. Uh-huh. How hot are you? Oh, my God. Like, that is your next hour. Or you could just, like, you know, pick your favorite mug that you cherish and just have a sip of,

hmm, so yummy, just even taking the time. So that you begin to start, instead of filling yourself with stress, which is what women have been taught to do, you start to counter that by little tiny drops, like a little ivy drip of pleasure all day, you won't hate him nearly as much. Because men do this thing, which is so important and so needed, especially by women like us,

they love us more than we love ourselves. That's how much he loves you. He would lay his life down for you, and I promise he would not do the same. I certainly wouldn't, but Peter certainly would. I think that's true. I'm like, my babies. He'd be like, I got you.

Right. And so, and part of it is in this value, judgment, judgey culture that we live in that teaches us that earning is the most precious thing or important thing that we could do. Not to mention we've been acculturated to be like little men. Yeah. That's how we succeed is we have to man up rather than woman up. So we just get, we start to diminish the value of being cherished. And I certainly did that.

And I almost lost the greatest man I've ever known. And I'm not saying I'm not going to be close to firing him again and again again. But it's, I'm getting better at the practices. Thank you for sharing all of that. And thank you for sharing that you're still in the practice of it too, because I think that's such an important reminder, especially for those of us that are really high achieving, who, I mean, I know for me, when. Whenever I have a lot on, my default is to jump into hyper-independence, just check off the to-do list, all of those things.

And it feels like slipping into the other side of me is so much easier when there's no stress. And that's just not life. Yeah. And so it's cons. I love the practices you've brought up because one thing I'm always thinking about is how do you make that transition just a little bit easier? You can notice it. Yeah. But it can be so hard to get out of it.

Because that's, I don't know, the way I grew up, but it was just like survival, do more. that's all it was. And you just, I just hustled my ass off. Yes. And it got you to be where you are. Totally. And so it's almost like you want to cling to that island because that's how you survived. And now the evidence is there. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But now there's, you know, you're just screwed Natalie because you've read pussy. There's no going back. And how do you suggest dealing with the resentments that build up in religion. Oh my God. Oh my God. I got one for you. First of all, that practice called swamping is really,

really good because you can swamp your rage. You can swamp your frustration. You can swamp what an asshole loser you think he is at that particular moment. You can swamp your grief. Like the fact that the towel was maybe like a meter from the laundry basket. I feel you so hard. How about the toilet seat? Tell me about the toilet seat. Was it up or down? Like all the little things. The towels. It's funny how we are. I know.

God. Like already, don't you find yourself to be so much more of a loving woman in partnership than, let's say, the women of your generations, like your mom, your grandma, your great-grandma. Yeah. And I feel like growing up, I don't know about you, but it was just like the persona that I saw as a wife, a mother, was almost this martyr of self-acrifice. And, you know, my mom. She was in complete survival.

I'm one of eight, and she could barely afford to feed us in certain weeks. And she was in complete survival that... Right. That's what I saw was she put everyone first. Yeah. But she's still that way now. Yes. She'll never put herself first.

Did you get her a copy of pussy? I'm going to. I've tried seeding some books her way, but I... I'll call her if you want me to call it. Yes. She might be scared of me. Give her a pet talk. But it's that...

And I'm sure that's what she saw growing up, too, of just this complete self-sacrifice of I'm fine. I can handle it, but I'll take care of everyone else around me. And that is the pattern I can so easily fall into where I'm like, I'm doing everything for everyone. And then I'm like, can you see what you're doing and saying? But it's such a default that I have to work really hard to pull myself out of that and be in a different pattern. You know what it really makes a difference? There's a few things that make a big difference. One is sisterhood.

Like if you have another sister, another woman who's practicing pleasure and who also has the same goal as you, which is that you truly want it all, meaning you want to not just achieve, but you want to soften, you want to be penetrated by love. You want incredible orgasmic experiences and you want to run a ball or company. Like it helps to have somebody that could, for example, in the fall, I'm launching this brand new course. Oh, tell me all about it. Okay, it's called The House of Turn On. And it is a course where I teach all of the tools, the arts, the practices, all of this. Like, how do you take a life and build Turn On in your work? Turn on in relationship to your pussy. Turn on in connection with partnership and sisterhood. And the whole thing takes place.

It's only women. And so it's literally a community of practice. So, for example, if we were in the class together or, you know, now that we know each other, there's a practice called spring cleaning in my book and this particular course where I will hold space for you, safe space, and you get to vomit up all of the bullshit. You'd be like, he left the towel on the floor. He didn't do the laundry. He did this.

He did that. And then I hold it. And I hold it. And then at the end, we say thank you. And the practice is finished. then we go back to bragging, to turn on, to a dance break, to something to restore you to your center. So you have a place to dump the gunk and be held by a sister because we do not have the kind of sisterhood that's going to allow us to build unless we build it. We need women,

like we need oxygen, but not women in the sense of people to complain about our lives with or to put our men down. Women who want the same things. We want kings. And how do kings take shape? They take shape when we are willing to clean up our side of the street and celebrate the shit out of his greatness and not like punish him for the small affronts that are inevitable in life. And women can hold each other in this potent way. We can hold each other's desires. You know, it's almost like we not only can hold each other's greatness, but the more radiant, the more sensual, the more connected to your divine partnership you are, you give me permission to be that for myself and for my partnership and for my life. So it's not about a competition in my sister goddess communities or in the course this fall, but it's about how do we all expand exponentially together? Because, you know, the voice. of woman is so needed on this planet right now. Not the voice of our rage, but our desires, our vision. You know, we're like the greatest untapped natural resource on this planet. And the

time to tap is now. It's time. And together we'll get there. But separately, we're host. So the House of Turn on is coming this fall. Do you know what month is coming? Yeah. It's going to start the very first week of October. Okay. Is when we're going to begin. When's a baby coming? Just a couple weeks before that. Okay. All right. Well, it's... I can make it happen.

Oh, yeah, totally can because you could listen on Zoom. Yeah. You know, and then... I will join. Probably so many of our women will join too. Okay. That'll be amazing. I would love to do that.

Because, like, we need more sisters that we can remind each other that we are divine. And we're not just mean bitches yelling at the world, which is how I was raised. And it sounds like you were too. Not through any fault of our moms, but they didn't have. have the, you know, it wasn't like your mom when she was a little girl. Someone pulled her on, her mom pulled her on her lap and said, tell me about your desires. Tell me what you long for. Do you know you have 8,000 nerve endings dedicated to pleasure? Let's talk about what you want. You know, we didn't, it wasn't about that then. Yeah. It was about survival like you described,

putting food on the table. And we're just so blessed to be in a different time. I'm not saying it's easy. It's a lot of hard work changing thousands of years of conditioning. But with each other, we can do it. We can make it happen. I love this. And what do you say when women say, but I have to do all this work and he doesn't have to do it? I hear this all the time. Yeah, exactly.

Like women are just more complex, I feel like. Yeah. Okay. I think we're like so far ahead of them in so many ways. Like it's not even kidding. And yeah, they love us so deeply, so potently, so selflessly. Like all men want. This is my theory. You can fight me on it, bitches. I'll take you out on this one. But men live to serve women. I agree. They don't know what it is we want always. They don't always know how, but they want to. Are you going to have a little boy or a little girl? Do you, you don't have to tell me. You're my, shh. But like those of your listeners who have little boys, and if you notice the little boy, all he wants to do is like, help. How can I help? If he makes a giant mud pie in the backyard and brings it into the kitchen,

kitchen with a white, shiny, clean floor. He's just doing that because he wants to make you happy because he made you a pie. And men live to serve us. And our moms and us, we didn't do a good job of teaching them how or what it is we want, what it is we long for, what it is that would light us up. And so here's the hard part. It's kind of like it gets exasperating. Like your daughter is still at the adorable age, the intoxicatingly adorable age. But there are passages of raising a child where it's just like, I have to tell her to clean up her room again. I'm going to kill somebody.

I'm still the parent, so I have to figure out how do I do this in a way that will invite her into her highest self? And it's my opinion that women lead in this regard, that we are the change makers. It's our vision that will begin to shift the world. And right now you can see how out of balance, the world is. It's way too dominated by male perspective on what's happening is so much destruction and so much darkness and so much devastation and cruelty. And because we do not have the voice of

the feminine present, we can't sit around and wait for permission for men to say, here's a seat at the table. And it doesn't feel good if we, you know, swing our big dicks around, you know, to destroy them to take our seat at the table. It feels good if we can center ourselves through pleasure, which reminding you, that's where the goddess enters the human body, we are the holders of the divine, we create life. Like, we do that, that's us. And from that place of being filled with our joy and with our pleasure,

we say, did you mean to leave those things on the floor of the bedroom for me to pick up? Was that what you meant to do? And then he's like, oh, no. No, baby, I'm so sorry. Shit. I was in a rush. Let me handle it. And then you're like, okay.

And then you've gotten what you wanted. His manhood is intact. And you feel like a friggin fucking cortisone queen that is even more delicious because she has been able to lead with her lusciousness instead of her rage. I love that. And it feels so good to ask and get a response like that, then enter into a fight. Yes. You also had mentioned previously about, let's say you were feeling angry, you'll go really transmit your rage into turn-on and then go make a request from that place. So let's say you want to make a request for a different behavior or anything, how would you frame that in a way that will generally get better as well?

First of all, I don't always want to do it. And I make mistakes a lot. And I probably am mean or, I don't know, dismissive or eye-rolley to Peter way more than I want to. be. But if I'm calculated, because I studied orgasm and pleasure for so many years and I have pretty good, strong practices in that area, I can feel in my body when I have a wire crossed. I can feel, you can too, right? When it's like, hmm, caught him, asshole. Okay. Let me just see. I mean, you're going to smack him with this one. And I can feel that energy inside of me. And so usually, like, for me, the quickest is I call a girlfriend and I'll do a quick spring clean where I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Or if no one's available, then I will put on a like a rage against the machine and I'll have a little temper tantrum and restore to my turn on and then see if I can find the place to instead of criticize to, what works for me is I turn it into a question. And I say, in my favorite way to do it is, did you mean to her? hurt me or did you mean to leave me out of, you know, or something. And because I already know in advance, he didn't. It was something. And so we are ahead. We have to be patient, but we have sisters and we can have bitch vests in controlled circumstances because I do not, any woman in my course, if she puts down a man, she is not permitted. That is not allow. We do not allow that in the classroom. It's kept inside the swamping practice or the spring cleaning practice. And, you know, just in the same way you wouldn't put down your kid. Or it doesn't even want.

work if you get a puppy and I'm believe me I'm not suggesting you get a puppy in fact if you tell me do you well I have a dog she acts like a puppy how old is she she already changes she's she house broken yeah she oh thank God then you're allowed to keep her because two babies you do not want a puppy oh my goodness I think actually I saw her sitting on the couch like a queen is she rather bald yeah she's a pomeranian but she has all the pisha so she's kind of looks like a teddy brand now I know several dogs that it's kind of cute I know the face is cute but I wish the rest of her hair would grow in? Did it happen because you got a buzz cut too short and then...

No, it's actually really sad. The truth of what happened was I think she got really stressed when I had my daughter and lost her hair. Which is so mean. But she went from being the baby of the house and I think she got stressed. That is so sad and funny and cute. I know. But then also some people say, no, it has. happened at the exact age that it seems to happen to Pomeranian so I'm going to go with that

story but I think the true spring clean on it so you think it was yourself of the guilt I think it was just I'd let go of the guilt I mean we're just we were doing what we had to do it she doesn't even look like she minds she doesn't mind guys passing through she was she hardly looked at me she was just sitting there looking like I'm stunning she's very regal she doesn't mind she's like I'm still cute no no no but the reason I brought our puppies is because we are actually kinder to dogs than we are to our men. Mm-hmm. You know, we're like, oh, come here.

Oh, you're so cute. And then if they do something naughty, we'll be like, uh-uh, what did you do? You know, we're not nearly so sweet to our guys. But it's helpful because it, just like they've discovered that it's wrong, if your puppy makes a mess in the kitchen floor, you're not supposed to put their face in it, which is how I, my parents taught dogs when I was a little kid. show them that they pooped in the wrong place. But that doesn't work. All you're supposed to do is say, come outside. Good boy. This is, you know, so it's the same kind of, I don't mean to the

demeaning or comparing puppies and men, although there's certain, I don't know, similarity, but the method of addressing their greatness and celebrating the sides of them that are coming forward as your king are equally effective in both areas. I love that. And another thing you said, too, When you were telling your story about your relationship with Peter was all around how you'd been looking at his value from a very capitalistic perspective. Oh, God. Can we talk about? We really need. Let's talk about this.

I've needed somebody to talk to about this. I feel like this is a really big conversation. Yeah. I agree. It's almost like we need another hour to get into this because I think that we are all so poisoned by thinking that the highest value is the bottom line, the dollar bill. And we lose so much life with that perspective. And it's killing the earth. You know, our earth is getting savaged because people need to order on Amazon.com three times a day.

And we're losing our rainforests. And what's your perspective about it? What do you see, feel, hope for, wish? I feel like I had to go through the journey of, in my company, especially, it was just this concept of growth at all costs, you know. And even to a point of, I wasn't even looking at the bottom line for a certain period of time. It was just like more revenue, more team, more this, more that, more, more. Yeah. And I had a full life-changing moment where I just been chasing this so unconsciously.

I wasn't aware that I was really driven by that. Yeah. Growing up, I always equated money to freedom because I always thought, my mom wouldn't be in the situation she is if she could afford to leave. Right. So I just went on that. Yes. and I had a moment where and everyone listening

kind of knows this moment but it was when I ended up resigning from my company it was my little girl was six months old she was in her bedroom crying she had her first flu which you know

it just kills you and I wanted to be with her and I had to be on this meeting and it was almost like I floated outside my body and just give myself this pep talk of what the fuck are you doing you have everything you've ever wanted

and here you are still chasing more and dealing with what comes of that when it's absolutely not where you want to be like you want to be in that room yeah and once i saw it i couldn't unsee it and it changed the way i was looking at everything i looked at so many things like that i'd seen valued my relationships like that you know it was very very capitalistic and it was always this pursuit of more and i just had to really look at what is good enough firstly can you feel already fulfilled and it's it's fine to want to grow Yeah. But consciously and from a different, not from a place of like grasping for more of like,

wouldn't it be fun if and inviting that in? And it really changed, I mean, my marriage, my relationships, my business, my relationship to all of it. But I do feel like I had to go through that to see it. Yeah. And it's so beautiful that, you know, this desire, right, you're longing to be a mom. And then you had your daughter brought you to a higher level. of consciousness in relationship to the work that you do in the world. And it wasn't through money.

It was through the depth and breath of your love for her. And you're longing to really like just squeeze every delicious drop that there is out of being a mama. And, you know, like those days, like, especially now of my daughter's all grown up. And my daughter lives in London, by the way. Oh, she does? I go to the UK a lot. That's amazing. I love London.

And also my stepdaughter, PJ's daughter, this on Ninja, too. So that this time where you can actually soothe your child, you know, now that my daughter's big if her heart breaks, I can't, like, pick her up on my arms and rock her like a baby and tell her everything's going to be okay. I can tell her everything's going to be okay, but it's like there's something so precious about being the one that can just make everything feel better to a little human being like, wow, I'm getting chills thinking about you and your little girl. It's the best. And it taught me a lot, but one of them was that, that lesson of just seeing money as the value.

Yeah. Because so many of us see that as like, if you are in survival, that's the way out. And I get that. And I love being able to help women become financially free. I think that's incredible. But that's not everything. It's not everything. And also, like, let's say if we go into a different direction, if let's say we did get the prince, we did get the Jeff Bezos or the Alon Musk or the Donald Trump, the billionaire.

Would you want that? I definitely wouldn't want that. You would not want that. You would not want anything like that. I mean, even, you know, with guys that are so devoted, you know, that was kind of extreme. But let's take, why do you think women run away with their chauffeur, their hotbed fur? Because they're not getting the attention from their wealthy prince charming that they're getting from the guy who's opening the door of the car for them, helping them out, hearing about their dog. day like it's really that love that we long for that attention that we long for in fact you know

would you live in a tar paper shack on the beach for a night of ecstasy yeah yeah there you go every woman says the same thing we do not need the four seasons we want ecstasy we want to have ecstatic experiences in our lifetime in our bodies so like the true feminine value the number one most important thing for a woman is not a bank account it is not diamonds and and whatever. It's attention or pleasure. That's the thing she longs for the most. And we can't put the responsibility for our pleasure in the hands of our partner. We have to partner with them about what is pleasure for us. And that's a journey where we have to put our key in our own ignition and turn that baby on, take her down the highway. Or we'll never be able to invite

passengers. Never, ever, ever. What about for the woman listening who's so uncomfortable hearing you say that? She has to go to my website, mamaginas.com. I'm going to spell it because it's spelled so strangely. M-A-M-A-G-E-N-A-S dot com and sign up for the ultimate guide to getting what you want. And in that, it's like play-by-tiny play. It's not put your hand on your pussy time. It's how do we begin to slowly and gently reorganize our lives around our pleasure. So even doing something like putting a fresh flower on your day,

desk is an act of radical pleasure revolutionary action because you are choosing to make a workspace feel good to you. You're not totally about service, service, service, service taking care, making sure everything making care. You're about, I am worthy of flowers. By the way, white roses are my favorite. They are the best. I just don't even want to see any other color ever. I just, I'm obsessed with ease and just the energy of them, the fragility, knowing they're not going to last forever, it just amplifies the beauty. So you don't have to start with Pussy of Reclamation. That doesn't have to be the first book that you read. It can start with simple, tiny acts of pleasure that start to shift the energy inside your body where you are saying to yourself, it's a privilege

to be me, I'm worthy, and I'm going to honor myself. And that simple, shift starts to and turn on those neurotransmitters and enter that like goddess feeling inside of a woman's body where she knows she's sacred and it changes everything. It's funny, isn't it? Usually we equate centrality or sexuality with pornography. And so people get scared because they think, oh, I cannot look at pleasure because, oh, whoa, that's pornographic. And that wouldn't be good in my neighborhood on the PTA meeting. but actually it's a way of connecting with the holiest part of you. It's actually a sacred moment.

It's a sacred act. I love that. So would you recommend that's the next step for everyone listening? Yeah. Okay. We have that beautiful little offering on our website. Okay. And you could start today by taking one little tiny step of pleasure that's actually

radical and that will actually start to shift things and will actually make you view the world and yourself differently. It's miraculous. And then they've got to email you and then tell you everything that happened when they did one pleasurable thing. And then you have to call me and say, oh, my God, got another email from a woman who never ever bought herself flowers or drew herself a bath and she did both in one day. And then I'll be like, yeah. We're winning this. I feel like there's just nothing better than that when you just see a woman like really prioritizing herself.

Yes. I love that so much. Yes. It's so beautiful. My final question for you, I've loved this so, so much. My final question for you is asking about daily rituals you have that really help you cultivate this on an ongoing basis. What are some of your favorites, are things you do regularly? Yeah, there are things I do regularly, absolutely.

A lot of them I taught you today of small self-touch practices during the day that will bring me back to myself when I can feel myself spinning out in stress. But what I always do is start in the morning. My morning starts with coffee exactly the way I like it. And I'm a writer. And for me, the writing time is in the morning. So I will like candles. And in so doing, I will create intentions for my writing. Or sometimes, like, I have a friend who's partners in the hospital.

So I lit a candle for him today. Or other things that I'm longing for in the world. I'll light candles for those things or for my daughters. And then I'll write with my coffee. As soon as I put that to bed, I throw a mat down on the floor. I put on a song for my playlist, and I tune into myself. And I'm like, feeling a little cranky, Regina. You're feeling a little tragical.

You're just feeling kind of good. You just want to move some sensual energy. And then my teacher for this, did you ever hear of Sheila Kelly? No. She does a pole dancing class called S Factor. And she taught me. You know, I used to be a competitive pole dancer. Holy shit.

I worship you. Do you have a pole at your house? No, I don't. at this one I used to. Oh my God. I know. I'm fam-girling you. That was so hard right now. Life of mine. Oh my God. You need to show me some videos as soon as we're done. Oh my God. It's so, yeah, I will. Okay. So I'll move. I move like, because you know when you have that beautiful, sensual energy coursing through your body, how beautiful that feels. And that kind of sets me up for the day. Also, I never take a shower. I always take a bath. And when I take a bath, I'm always putting on

music, I'm always lighting a candle. Really, even if I'm in a rush, I'll take a 10 minute bath. Even if I have to wash my hair is happening in the bathtub. So it just feels good to me. And so it's starting to begin to be what I call a pleasure researcher, somebody that is always every single day researching a new thing that you can extract pleasure from. I mean, on my drive over here, I was in the car with Lily. And I was like, what's your favorite music? And she's like, Chapel Rhone. Hello? So we just had like the whole chopper. Rhone album on the drive over. And that was a new pleasure. So it's just constantly looking for what would pleasure you. And by the way, the plus, the bonus of this, once you start to learn that,

then you can start to train the world. And when somebody says, oh, I was thinking of picking up flowers, you say, white roses, please. And somebody says, where do you want to go to dinner? You already know all the new restaurants in Austin that you want to be taken to. So it's kind of like a way of not just connecting to yourself, but knowing yourself well enough that you can invite the world to serve you. I love this so, so much. Thank you so much for being here. I've been so excited about this and it was amazing. Thank you. Thank you, Natalie. So we know the start to start with. Is there anywhere else people can find you? Oh yeah. They should come and join me on social. I have a really fun Mama Gina, whatever, on Instagram and Facebook. That's a great way to join and join my newsletter because

I write gorgeous blogs. They're not written by chat GPT. They're written by me. I just really enjoy to write them. And so they come out every single week. And I'm very inspiring. I'm on your list. I love your news.

Oh, really? Thank you for saying that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for inviting me, making me feel so welcome and taking me into your beautiful world. I think we did so good with our colors, too. I know. I love for us. It's the white beige.

The whole thing worked out really well. We nailed it. Thank you so much. Thank you. Wait, wait, wait, before you go, I would love to send you my seven-figure CEO operating system completely free as a gift. All you've got to do is leave us a review on this podcast because it really supports the growth of this show. This is my digital masterclass where I'll show you what my freedom-based daily, weekly and monthly schedule looks like as an eight-figure CEO, mama and high performer.

and I'll walk you through step by step how to create this for yourself. It includes a full video training from me and a plug and play a spreadsheet to literally create your own operating system. It's one of our best trainings and it's worth $1,997, but I will unlock access for you for free when you leave us a review. I know, wild, right? All you have to do is leave your review on the podcast, take a screenshot of it and then head over to bossbabe.com slash review to upload it.

and then you'll get instant access to the seven-figure CEO operating system. Again, head over to bossbabe.com slash review to upload your screenshot and get access. We are so, so grateful for all of your support and can't wait to hear how the podcast has supported you.