the bossbabe podcast - 481: High-Functioning Burnout Exposed: The Perpetual Chase

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

Why does “one more launch… one more zero… one more goal” never feel like enough? In Part 3 of our 5-part High-Functioning Burnout Exposed series with Awaken the Muse, we’re exploring the perpetual chase - that constant striving for more, even when you’ve already achieved so much. This episode unpacks why accomplishment rarely brings the fulfillment we expect, how cultural conditioning keeps women tying their worth to output, and what it really takes to feel satisfied now instead of always chasing the next milestone. Walk away with a sturdier definition of “enough,” a simple way to expand your capacity without overloading your plate, and a journal prompt that helps you create from abundance, not scarcity. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 The treadmill of “more”: why achievement never feels like enough 02:33 The warning signs of draining energy and constant mental load 07:10 Craving more things vs. craving more of yourself 08:42 Why rest, play, and pleasure are actually productive 10:31 Breaking the self-sacrificing blueprint so many women inherit 12:39 The impossible standards that keep women stuck in exhaustion 16:40 Living a big life from enoughness (and why capacity grows with safety) 23:16 Why growth doesn’t stop, but the fuel behind it must change 25:26 A journal practice to end the chase and start living now RESOURCES + LINKS Click Here To Join Soft Success: A Free Masterclass Experience To End High-Functioning Burnout And Redefine Success On Your Terms. Sign Up For Our Free Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More.  Drop Us A Review On The Podcast + Send Us A Screenshot & We’ll Send You Natalie’s 7-Figure Operating System Completely FREE (value $1,997).

Let me guess. You might have just wrapped a big launch, hit a revenue goal, crossed a milestone, and instead of feeling lit up, you feel kind of flat. Or maybe you're telling yourself, once I get through this week, once I hit that next number, once I finally take the trip or hire the person, then I'll slow down. Then I'll enjoy it. But the goalpost is always moving. This episode is for you. It's for the woman who looks like she's crushing it, but never actually feels deep down like she's arrived. Because the truth is, you're not chasing so. success. You are chasing a feeling you have been so disconnected from for such a long time. We are calling this one the perpetual chase and it's the pattern where achievement becomes your identity and enough is

always somewhere outside of yourself or somewhere in the future. And no matter what you check off the list, that inner void stays really untouched. So if you have ever wondered why the success isn't landing the way it should, why it still feels like something is missing, I think this episode, episode is going to hit hard in all the best ways. So let's get into it. We are not here to tell you to want less. We are here to help you remember who you are when you are not constantly trying to prove it. So let's really talk about that. The perpetual chase is one that I'm really excited to talk about because I know for me, I had this full out-of-body experience. After I'd had noemi i was it was she was really young i went back to work and uh we had full-time childcare and she got

her first called which you know when it's a baby i mean when's your first baby too scary it's so scary and i could hear her crying in the other room and i was on the zoom call and it was not the most fun zoom call and i had this out of body experience where i like floated out my body and looked just looked at my life and i was sitting there on my computer at noemi was in the room next store. But I had this realization of you have everything you've ever wanted. You have a beautiful home, a beautiful marriage, a beautiful healthy child, a business that has built so much abundance and look at what you're doing. You're avoiding the fact that you have everything you've ever wanted in pursuit of mourness. Yeah. You've never stopped to acknowledge that you actually have

enough or you have what you wanted. That that was like part of my unraveling year. But when I dug into it, I realized from growing, like, we just grew up with absolutely nothing. And I grew up seeing my mum in a really dangerous situation that I, you know, even as a, my, my young self, I thought to myself, she would never have to be in this situation if she had financial options. Yeah. And I think that fueled me from a really young age to just go achieve. And I didn't stop to ask myself, when is good, good enough? When is enough enough? When will you just look at what you've got and what you've done and acknowledge that?

And it didn't mean my ambition had to stop. But what got me to that point was not going to get me to the next point. And I was still, I was almost still operating my life in business from that child that had nothing. Yeah. And that is a really, for me, that was a really unhealthy way to be running my life in business. And it was always, everything was conditional on other things. Totally. And having that realization changed a lot of things for me.

And it was like, just so many, everything in my life came crumbling down that year. When I say crumbling down, it was all these, all of these thoughts, these beliefs, these unconscious patterns, everything just illuminated itself. And once you see it, you can't unsee it. I know you've talked about this too, Alexia, your experience. And I would love if you could share a bit of yours because I think this is something that a lot of the women listening, they are probably really in it and don't know how to get off that treadmill. Yeah. And that perpetual chase, that title, it just like, it would be the name of a chapter of like the majority of my young adult life. Right.

The perpetual chase for more. You know, younger, it was more success, more money, more stability. I was in New York City. I was building multiple careers in entertainment and coaching and all the things. But as I got success and actually hit the metrics, like, I hit the goals that I had set for myself in my 20s. I was living the life that was on my vision board. But it still didn't feel like enough.

I remember this was like not that long ago, probably about four or five years ago. We're making more than a million dollars in multiple businesses. We've got real estate portfolio. We've got investments that are going crazy. I've got a marriage to my husband and it's great. We're traveling the world, like making an impact with our work. Like literally tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, checking all the boxes. And I remember going to Preston like, oh, you know what we should do?

We should do another launch for this thing. And then just like dreaming up more projects and more things, not thinking that, oh, once I get this, then I'll feel great, but not necessarily knowing what was driving in. And what I got, there was like literally, I had this moment. I'm in the kitchen of our townhouse and Playa Vista where we were all living at the time. And literally like making something, making the kids dinner, doing the things, checking my phone for this, talking to Preston about this next launch. You and I were launching something at the same time.

I already feel my energy like, like, ah. And I and I were doing like a business course at the same time. And then I was planning a trip to Australia where we were doing a tour of all of our workshops. And it was like, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. And I remember feeling the word I like to use is crunchy. Like, I remember feeling so like, just frustrated and crunchy with like the workload, the mental load like it just felt like it was never going to stop and i had a moment where i was like i don't like the woman that i am i'm proud of her achieved all the things successful smart present i'm

proud of her but i don't like how she feels if i don't like how i feel what is the point of my life like why am i struggling and striving to get to some you know amorphous idea of where i finally land and allow myself to feel okay allow myself to rest and what i what i got in that moment And it was just the beginning of the thread because it was a few years after that I really got it and it really landed. It was what I got in that moment was the beginning of this idea of the more that I'm searching for, the more that I'm like the next project, the next idea, the next launch, the next, you know, $100,000 in our bank account. It was really I was searching for more of myself. And I didn't quite fully get it at that moment, but I got that what I was doing wasn't working. And it felt like I would never get off that hamster wheel.

And so that really started the journey. And M and I, like, talked about it at that time in our life. lives in Plyivist, it was kind of the beginning of our whole journey into this work where we were like, there's got to be more than just this constant chase. We started having these like really big conversations of like, well, well, who would we be? Like if we stopped waiting for our life to enter some stage or some level of success, like what would we do? Who would we be? How would we show up? What would we prioritize? What would we make time for? And it just fundamentally shifted how we started viewing our lives. And we started taking a more holistic approach. And that again,

And it hit me again on like such a deeper level when Preston and I were going through our whole relationship unraveling. And it hit me again where I found myself doing something similar like handling the house, handling the businesses, handling the next launch, handling the admin, handling the kids. And I'm like, I'm crunchy again. Like I forgot. I lost it somewhere along the way. And I don't like how I feel as a woman. And if I had, let's say 12 months left to live, would I be okay with living from this state? And the answer was no. The answer was absolutely not.

And then the next question is, what am I waiting for? Why am I waiting to feel alive? Why am I waiting to feel joy? Why am I waiting for the depth of intimacy I crave? Like, now, now. I get to have it now. But first, I've got to realize that it's not out there. It's more of this that I want.

And I really started to recognize, like, M and I teach in our work that we had this huge spectrum of range as a woman, right? But most of us are really awesome. at this much, like 20, 30% max. We're awesome at it. And we do it. We stay in this lane. We stay in this lane. We're good at it. We know it. We're comfortable. We can control it. We know it gets us results. But the issue is we've got 70 to 80% more of ourselves that we have yet to taste. When we have that inner calling for like more, more, more, we think, oh, it's more of the thing out here. I need more date nights. I need more sex. I need more attention. I need more money. I

need more launches. I need more kids. I need a bigger house. I need more stuff. We think it's this. But really It's like our soul going, babe, you're so much more. You're so much more. There's so much more to yourself that you still get to experience. And so that was really like when her and I started to go, what are the other aspects, the other textures of ourselves that maybe we felt before, but it's been a while? Or maybe we've never allowed ourselves to feel at all. What would those pieces of ourselves be? And like how could we start playing with them?

Yeah. And a big piece of that too is like that actually realizing they have value because I think that's such the big piece that keeps us away. from that because there's all these extra things like when we're sitting and asking these questions like what would you make space for and who do you want to be we're just so conditioned that I'll value as a woman especially a woman listen to this podcast and us like we've been saying already before on this podcast but again it's reiterating all of these patterns make sense because we are conditioned into feeling like our output is what makes us valuable if we go and just decide to take a dance class how does that add value to my life how does that add value to the

things I'm trying to move forward and so a big piece of this is actually starting to realize the full spectrum of like when you do ask that question even of like okay what gives my life value and then actually looking like am i making time and space for that am i actually able to experience any of that because it's a big thing that we see come up a lot with our woman is just really actually re-prioritizing things that have been put on the shelf and which is most of the time actually them like the whole woman all of what makes us a full woman in our life that it is this re-learning that they actually it has value like that that rest has value. that like play has value and then eventually that actually not only does it have value but it can actually

add to your bottom line but not to do it from that place because then it's a strategy right but it's like when the more you do it you realize it does but there can be that clunky kind of reconditioning of like yeah okay because but why it doesn't have value but really realizing it actually has a lot of value and it's just the conditioning that's been put on us of where our actual value comes from that we have to also recreate a new relationship with as a woman. think that we grow up with the image of the perfect woman is self-sacrificing puts everyone before herself and people praise her for that is superwoman can handle all the things and I feel like for me like that was the blueprint I grew up seeing of women just do things it can almost bridge on

like they try to be martyrs of like I will handle everything for everyone and I'll neglect myself in the process and that's a badge of honour and I think that's a really hard pattern to break. I know for myself, that's been a really hard pattern to break because I have seen so much of my value in what I do for my family, for my friends, for my clients, for everyone outside of me. Yeah. And seeing the value and being able to prioritize myself has been challenging. Yeah. And like, well, is it okay if I'm not making dinner tonight? Is it okay if I'm not doing X, Y, Z has been hard. It's so hard. Like I grew up with a very similar blueprint on my dad's side, which is like traditional Greek values. The women don't work.

They stay home. They take pride and taking care of everybody and the house and the food and all the things. But then my mom, who is not Greek and kind of more of the modern feminist woman, the reason why her and my dad were not together, basically from when I was four, is because she took care of herself. She went out and built businesses. But my Greek family judged her for it. And I said she's not a good woman. Like, what type of mother is she? Like, what type of mother goes and works and abandons her kids all day? And so I really had this programming too. Oh, well, if I'm going to work, I also have to make sure I don't drop anything at home because what type of woman would I be if I drop the house where I drop my husband or I drop my kids? Like, I have to be perfect here and perfect here. And I think a lot of women

we're holding ourselves to these impossible standards where literally four of us couldn't do the job that one of us is trying to do. And yet we're trying to do it all flawlessly. And like, look good what we're doing and and take care of our health and still be happy and still have sex with our partner. And like, it's a lot. And I think women, we have to take ourselves out of this idea and this enculturation, really, of who we're supposed to be as women and ask ourselves, what does success look like for me? Like, where do I stop and go, I've fucking arrived? I have made it. I have done the thing I want to do. I've showed up for my family. What is enough? Because when we come from an internal enoughness of I'm okay if I'm not producing, I'm okay if I'm

I'm not useful. I'm okay if I'm not, you know, the person bending over backwards. And not only am I okay, but I'm so worthy. I'm so enough. I'm worthy of love. I don't have to earn it. Right? I'm worthy of praise.

I don't have to do stuff for it. I'm worthy of celebration just for being me. We did not grow up that way. Yeah. That piece is so big. And that's because that's what we do in our work too, right? It's like you're re-internalizing your own value system, right? And again, that takes a lot of courage.

Like, there's a reason also why we don't do it because to, run a different path to choose something different to actually be so anchored in your own truth and your own sense of success is courageous. It can be rebellious because it's having the courage to go like, okay, society tells me all of these things, yet I'm doing this and actually I still feel so full. Myself, for example, right, like I'm late 30s. I'm not married. I don't have children. Like, there's a lot of social conditionings that would tell me like I'm not a successful woman, right? But my experience of my life is, I mean, you know, we talk about it all the time. It's like I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I have so much fullness, my sense of alignment, truth,

trust, connection to spirit, to God, to my body. Like, I am like thriving in the most deepest felt sense of the world. The quality of my life is like a 10 out of 10, right? There's no grasping, like, all of my actual experience of life. But it also takes courage to be willing to say, I trust my experience of my life is what makes me feel successful, not what somebody else says I should be doing or someone else's perspective. And I think when we, you know, do this deeper work that really lies underneath of everything that we're sharing here of really becoming that self-sourced sovereign woman who can really trust herself and be guided in her life in this way. The gap is no longer there because we don't need all of that to, like you said,

to feel safe, to feel full. We don't need to tick all those boxes anymore because we have, we have that within ourselves. We've cultivated our capacity to feel that, to hold that within ourselves. And again, it doesn't mean we're not still like, you know, the title of this is the petrol chase because somewhere over there when I finally have enough, then I'll, it doesn't mean we don't want to still create and have things, but it's just like the place that we move towards them and the context that we actually create from is so different. So again, it's not that we have to drop the ambition and stop trying to, you know, desire love or desire achievement, but the place that we move from towards it is like a 180 difference, right? And that's a key piece. And there's a quote

that I'm going to totally mess up, but I'll do my best. Are you climbing the mountain? to be seen at the top? Are you climbing the mountain to see the view from the top? Same action, totally different come from. And when we start to do the deeper healing work, like you're saying, we start to unravel and unpack all these insidious and unconscious reasons of why we're pushing, why we think that money over there will make me feel good enough, why I think once I get the partner and the kids and the house, then I'll be considered successful or whatever our story is. We start to unpack the programming and the trauma, and the unique concoction that those make in the environment that we grew up in,

we start to actually move from sovereignty and choice versus reaction. Yeah, wholeness. I want to go into this with both of you a little bit deeper because all of us, we live really big lives in very different ways. And I think that's a misconception sometimes is if you are not constantly in the chase for more, if you're content with enough, then will you still be able to be. ambitious. And I really think the answer is yes, but it's from a different place. But we all live full lives in different ways. And Alexi, so starting with you, I mean, at one point, you had

four under four. So you still have young kids. You have a really full life. Can you talk a little bit about that and what that looks like to be building and living from this place with such a big life? Such a big life. And that's the thing. So I look at my life as a plate, right? And I've got four kids under four at one point now four under seven i've got multiple businesses i've got a huge real estate portfolio i've got an investment portfolio i've got a couple other businesses that i just am starting now it's a big plate but if i take care of that plate if i take care of my life if i ask myself what do i actually want on my plate like am i consciously choosing this with intention does this feel aligned to who i am it's a win but it's only a win if i already say in my life i've already won i've already

arrived. I'm already killing it. I need nothing else outside of myself. And I people say, oh, that must be nice. Easy for you to say, because you already have money. You already have success. But even if I didn't have that, I have amazing healthy children. I'm healthy and vibrant. I have an amazing soul and brain that just are like, let's do this thing called life and wants to live it so fully. And that drive gets me up. I have an amazing relationship and an amazing husband. I have incredible friends. I'm killing it. And all the other stuff, is bonus. And so for me, I really have to arrive in the life that I'm currently living and actually feel I have won. It's one thing to say it, but to feel it is a complete, like we were literally

two nights ago on the dock in Austin, on Lake Austin with a group of friends doing this amazing ceremony for M. And we literally had so many moments where we're like, look at our life. We created this. Like, this is magic. It's magic. And we're not making money. We weren't doing anything crazy, we were just sitting together with a group of women on a dock at 10 p.m. at night under the stars and the moonlight in Austin. It was like, we won. We won. And I think we, again, we've been enculturated into this idea that more is better. And I say, like, we're always like, yes and more, please. Always. More is great. But we come from inherent enoughness. And that inherent enoughness actually wants to create more, but not create it from, I need to create this

to feel better. That's scarcity. But create from abundance of like, I'm already enough. What else is there to create? How else do I want to contribute? And that's literally like Preston and I are starting a brand new business. And people are like, how are you going to have capacity? It's like we have the energy for it because it's coming from this like excitement of being alive. And that's the piece that I want people to really hear is I've actually taken on more, but I have more space than I've ever had because I'm not, it's not more from scarcity of I've got to get there fast or I've got to get there before somebody else or I've got to make this money right now. It's more from like what would feel really fun to do. And that's this internal energizer that just gets you up in the morning. It allows you to stay up late at night. Like I've been researching stuff at night because you feel that excitement from within. And it's not a drive of like, I have to make this work. And granted, I have been in seasons of survival and scarcity where I had to make things work. I had to.

I had to pay the bills. I had to do X, Y, and Z. I'm no longer there. But for those of you, like I have a client right now who's in that, I have to do this to make this work. An invitation for anyone who's feeling that is to really go, look at your life right now and find all the abundance surrounding you like just go outside go outside and see the trees see the clouds see the sun like we are provided for non-stop the more we focus on what we are swimming in just as a human being we're swimming in abundance you can't miss it the more we start to see it

everywhere the more we're focused on scarcity and survival the more we start to see scarcity and survival everywhere so no matter which position you're in know that you can change the way you're holding it if you get rid of that hungry ghost, the hungry ghost that will never be satiated is the part of you that goes, if I get something out here, I will finally feel enough, safe, worthy, loved, whatever it is. But when you give yourself those gifts of safety, love, worthiness, abundance, when you give it to yourself internally, you already won the game. And then everything else becomes like cherry on top. It's a bonus. It really is. It's a practice. Like it is a practice. And it's really realizing the hypnosis. of that story I think really really realizing like okay for how long have I said it's when I get that

it's when I do that it's when that I you know achieved that then I'll finally and like really having that sobering look of realizing wow okay like I mean that was the same for me I remember with my business building and getting media and like getting the tidd talk and it's like okay yeah I'm finally oh yeah and it was coming from that place again I wasn't aware of it at the time that hungry ghost of like okay now these people know about me so I'm worthy okay now there's this achievement so I'm more I can see it so clearly now but it wasn't as clear then but that's what was driving it. So it was like, again, that hungry void of just not being able to have the capacity to truly be, it's both.

It's like not really feeling full in prison with ourselves, like ourselves. And then also what then drives that to want to create more. But it is that practice of, you know, this is one of the biggest things in the through line of our work of like, your experience of your life is not contingent on your partner changing, your job changing. Your banked out. Like, again, because that just keeps our experience of our life. perpetually out here. And so it is a muscle. I mean, I felt more present and alive and electric and full vitality in my body and grateful and full and more alive than ever before I was stepping into

more abundance after I shut my business down. Like that context came first, not second. The context was what drove more abundance. That context right now is actually making me feel because this work, it amplifies. Again, again, it's so far from a one and done. But that's a beautiful thing because is we're not trying to tick a box. The tick a box mentality is what got us there in the first place. So knowing that this journey, this work, this expansion is a forever game, that in a liberating way, because we're just constantly making more space. We're constantly getting to know us more, we're constantly having, because we actually

become more resourceful, not less. Yeah. Like this work actually makes us more expanded, not less. So it's not a sacrifice. It's actually like, wow, I'm becoming more full. I'm becoming more expanded. I'm becoming more connected to life. We're actually becoming more.

Yeah. So then our capacity. I'm noticing, like, now, like, my vision is, like, 10xing. It's like, wait, so then if I was able to hold this and create this and, like, my desire is leading me here, whoa, okay, matter with that vision. And knowing, again, because if you think about moving towards it from a doing, we're inherently limited. You only have a certain amount of energy. We only have a certain amount of time. But when we start to realize that we're expanding our capacity, that we're expanding and, like, you know, there's some spiritual aspects to this too, right?

We could go into it. But even just that, like, we're becoming so much. much more available for the inherent resourcefulness of life. Like, I mean, let's just talk about like Beyonce, for example. She's not working more. I mean, she's obviously works really hard, right? But like, it's not because she's working 10,000 times harder than everybody. There's something within her vessel that said, I can hold more.

I can become more. I'm becoming more of a vessel to receive a bigger vision. Right? That's not, she doesn't have more hours in the day, but there's something that said I'm more full. And so this work is actually making us more full and whole to actually be able to achieve and desire more, not less. Well, and that goes back to, like, the fundamentals of all the work that we do is really nervous system work, right?

And when we're talking about the nervous system, we're talking about building inherent safety in the body first. And the reason why most people are on the perpetual chase is because they believe something out here is going to make them feel safe. And safety sometimes looks like love, sometimes looks like more money, sometimes looks like more power or recognition. But it's really safety that we want. And so when we gift ourselves, the gift of internal. safety, internal enoughness, internal worthiness, we become a powerhouse. We literally unlock our superpowers as a human because we're no longer in survival mode trying to find safety out here. We're like, oh, I've already got safety. So now, boom, all my faculties in my brain are

turned all the way on because I'm not in survival mode. Now my thinking expands, my capacity expands. I can actually rest and sit back and go, what's here? And our intuition kicks in. We start getting messages and like breadcrumbs and god nudges and things start coming a lot easier because we're more spacious and we always like to say like when you think of a woman who's in that search for safety outside of herself her energy is kind of like this right and it's head down and she's just in it she's in it she's in it and a woman who's got inherent safety is kind of like this where she's like I'm good there's nothing to get out here now I'm just waiting like what do I want to receive what's available to me right now and life becomes so much juicier because you're like

I can play a, this is a game. And it's just, it's a game of energy and capacity. And if I'm actually in safety, I'm in expanded capacity. If I'm in expanded capacity, I can start another business. I can have another baby. I can travel more. I can do more and receive more. Well, and it's also just, it's also like pulling the thread on the, on the, even the desire

for more. It's not to vilify them more because it's all personal choice, but it's also even taking another look at just the refinement of yes and where does it get to come from. Like if we think about when we're not able to actually experience what's here, we inherently need more because we can't actually experience what's here. Like if you think about like takeout, like let's think about chick filet versus a filet mignon. Like think about the serving size either from that, right? Or like at a, you know, a big diner. And we're in America right?

A big diner. How much more kind of food is required there to maybe like feel full and satiated because it's not really high quality. But then you take like a beautiful, you know, Michelin Star meal and how much more quality you. you're going to get, how much flavor you're going to get, how beautiful that meal's going to be, like being able to, just how full you're going to feel, how satisfied. And so it's also that, like we need more when we have less capacity to feel what's present. But then, and again, we can still create more. But again, we're creating from our actual capacity to feel what's already here, not needing more to finally, how can you need more? It's like, okay, I can still desire more,

but also we don't need as much to feel the same way we used to feel like we needed. Yeah. And what you said too about allowing yourself to have this bigger vision, that really hit me because I remember, let's say, four years ago now, I completely refused to dream big, which I think sounds quite hard for people to believe looking at, it's a relative, looking at the business that we had built. Yeah.

But what I mean by that is I put a full block on growth. And I consciously and unconsciously did that. I said, we cannot grow more. I do not want to increase the revenue. I do not want to increase the team size and put a full block on growth. And the reason was I knew where I was growing from. And I knew I could not sustain that and keep my health and my marriage and my life intact. And so to me, it was very black or white.

It was, you know, the business is as big as I'm able to get it and I can hold. and then everything else can stay the same now what's really interesting is I feel like I am dreaming bigger than I ever have in my life but I work less than I ever have that and not because I don't like work it's just because my life is a lot more full now than it was four years ago you know I have I have more on my plate my plate is bigger than it was back then back then it was all work working out and that's it like now it's kids and community and marriage and like gardening and just like things it's like that I'm enjoying, I think. And my vision for my impact and work in the world is bigger than ever. But it comes from a different place. And I don't question what it's going to take from me because I really see it from a different place now. I remember my work was incredibly successful, but it was taking energy from me. Now my work's successful, but it gives me energy.

And there's such a big difference. And there's so much nuance in that. For sure. And I really want us to be able to support. women in making that shift like what if your work wasn't burning you out but was the thing that fueled you so that when you got home at night you just rant your husband and you're just like so excited and present and you're so present and play with your kids if that's your thing like what if that was the way and I know that there's a path to that it's possible and I also want to touch on what

you said too around like well it's all well and good you three sitting here you're not in scarcity you've done X Y Z and I just want to reframe because whenever I'm learning about money, I always want to learn about money from someone that has made a lot of it. And so what I like to reframe in this situation is, I can tell you, I've been invited in all the rooms, didn't make me feel any more worthy or confident. I've made the money. Didn't make me feel any more good enough. Yeah. I've done X, Y, Z, just like both of you have. And all it did was amplify the fight or flight. Still not there. Gap. It amplified the gap. It amplified how I didn't feel good enough. How. I was constantly seeking validation from other people. It amplified all of it. And I'm so grateful for that person that I was and where she got to, but I just think, what if we could just do it in a different way?

I can't imagine five years ago walking into certain rooms and just feeling like I belonged. I never did. Now it's different. And I feel comfortable saying, no, I'm not going to attend that one and something else taking priority. Or when I do attend,

I'm not overextending to prove I belong in the room. Yeah. Trying to make my voice heard because I want to feel like I'm offering value. So for the women listening that are like, yes and how? Yeah. Where do we start? Yeah. Because it's big. It's so big. But what you said is a total reconditioning. It's a reconditioning. It's literally moving from a different place. And again, I want to go back to the nervous system because it really is the foundation here and the answer to all of this. When we feel and have cultivated a relationship with our body, that's number one, relationship. I'm going to highlight that.

Yes. Relationship with our body. Meaning consistency. consistent. We show up for ourselves. We listen to the signals. We're aware of the signals. We allow our body to feel what it's feeling without judgment, without stuffing it down, without making it wrong or feeling shame. We also don't project that energy onto anyone else. We take responsibility for that energy and we're actually really with that energy. So relationship with the body is huge. Once we have that and as we have that, we start to build safety because now our body goes, oh, you're here. Oh, you're consistent. Oh, you're showing up again. Just like any relationship. The more we show up, the more we're consistent in how we show up, the less judgment, the more compassion, the more empathy,

the more love that we show to that relationship, the more trust we build. When we build that trust, we have internal safety. When we have internal safety, we literally go, I don't have to go to that event because I already feel enough here. The question is, does it align with my values? Does it align with my time and my space? What's more important? Let me check it with my body. Oh, no, we're going to stay home today. And so again, I think it sounds simple. It really sounds so simple, but it's actually some of the hardest work we'll ever have to do. Because conceptually, we can talk about it all day. But to be in the practice, which we talk about all the time, to be in the practice of actually building that relationship with your body and that trust and safety with your body takes work.

And it's not that the work is hard. It's not that it's arduous and it's going to pull from your life. It's going to add so much vitality, so much abundance, so much presence, so much magic to your life because you have unlocked a superpower that most of us have just been sitting on for decades and being like, oh, this old thing? And then we unlock it and we're like, how have I not been in this body for my whole life? Like, this has been the answer to everything. And so for any woman listening that, you're thinking, you know, I do actually think it's the money. I do actually think it's being in the rooms. I do actually think it's the TED talks and being on stages. We're here to remind you, hear it from us. We've had those things. They feel good for a second.

And then you're back in yourself. And if you are ignoring the self that you live in, you're going to keep searching for it out here. And the game is really to check in and go, okay, if, let's just say I've arrived. Let's just say I won the game. Let's just say my life is perfect right now. Let's just pretend. What would be different? How would I live? What would I do? How would I show up with my kids? If I had all the money in the world, if it's money that you think's going to solve your problems, okay, pretend you have $40 million in the bank. What would you do different? How would you show up? How would you serve your family, your community, yourself? What would you do? How would you feel? What would you give your self permission to be in life. And again, coming back, I have that realization of myself,

like, I don't like the woman I am in my life. Proud of her, she's awesome. She's successful. She's kind. She's in integrity. But she doesn't feel alive. She doesn't feel potent. She doesn't feel vital. When am I going to give myself permission to feel that way? When I'm 65, when I've taken 20 more box? When my kids have left school and when my kids are 18? Like, when am I going to give myself permission to feel like, oh, I love who I am as a woman. And I feel that. Like, I actually feel it. It's not a concept. I feel it. Yeah, the distinction between content and felt experience is so major. And it kind of loops back even to what we were saying about doing the work. Like, even if people are out there feeling like they're doing the work, but nothing's

shifting. Like, we get that a lot with our high achieving women. And it was us. Because for years, we were doing the work, doing everything we thought we needed to do. That didn't feel different. We're still in the same cycles. We didn't have that felt experience of our love. life. But it is that distinction of really making sure, again, why you can't approach this work from the way you've probably approached everything and trying to fix and get it done and took a box. It has to be a felt experience. It's not just sort of sitting down and going, you know, moving through it in your head. It's actually really making sure, like making the committed experience to actually be in the experience of, okay, can I actually feel my body? And again, you might not at first.

You might feel numb. You may feel nothing, but like staying with the practice to build that muscle. Because again, this is a really important distinction for what we're talking about because otherwise you could think you're doing the work for the rest of your life. But if we're not actually including the body, if we're not actually in this felt experience, then we don't make the space. So really being as intentional as you can about that distinction is huge. That's what shifted for us when we finally actually realized we needed to actually feel the experience we were going through. And again, it makes sense why sometimes we don't want to do it because when we make that commitment, There's a lot of stuff in here that doesn't feel very good, right? Whilst the work is simple, it also does require us to actually face off with pieces there.

It's not always pretty. It's not, and it's a part of what cultivates this deep sense of both safety but also deep worthiness. Because you realize through this practice that you can hold yourself through the fire. You can hold yourself through that discomfort. You can feel hard things. You can actually be with, like, okay, I'm going to be with this experience. And through doing that, it actually starts to become a practice you can really start to enjoy. And it actually builds, it really is what builds that unshakable power and self-worth that is no longer contingent on all of those things.

So it stops that the pitch will chase because you're actually building that so powerfully from within because you're like, I respect this woman. I trust this woman. I can hold myself. I've got me through this discomfort through all of it. And that really, again, that's what, you know, just kind of looping back to your example. around the plate it's like we're not like we're actually we're expanding the plate with this right we're expense literally like we're expanding our capacity so again with that piece we can hold more right the things that we had in there now take up less space on the plate because the plate is bigger so we can

actually put more on there because it's not going to like you said require what it used to require of us to hold because we have more capacity so now you can grow a bigger business because you know it's not going to pull as much of you in because you have a bigger capacity within yourself so and you're not overfunctioning to try and make it work because you have to prove who you are. You're like, I know who I am. Now, how do I want to do this? I'm going to do it more holistically. I'm going to do it with more intention. I'm going to do the things that feel really true and alive for me and not the things I think they have to do for people to go, oh, she's so smart or she's so successful or whatever the case may be. And so just as we're wrapping this up, I think it'll

be amazing for any of you listening. Maybe after this episode, pull out a journal and write down, I already have X, Y, Z. Whatever those things are you know. is yourself externally hooking into the money or like I already have the money or I already feel good enough or I already have a relationship yeah whatever it is and write from that place like one thing I love to do is just I write as if I'm going about my day you know you wake up what are your interactions like what are you doing throughout the day what is the texture of your life feel like and think about the buckets you know your health your work your relationships like all of those areas right from that place and we'll see you in the next step

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