The Bossticks - #102: Lauren Elizabeth - Depression & Anxiety, Mental Illness, Comparison, The Many Roles of Digital Content Creators, Technology Breaks, & Running a Business VS. Creating Content

Episode Date: February 22, 2018

On this episode we have YouTuber and Influencer Lauren Elizabeth on the Show. On this episode we talk about Depression and Anxiety, The many roles of digital content creators, Beating to the tune of your own drum, Mental illness, Taking breaks from technology, and running a business vs creating content.  To connect with Lauren Elizabeth click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE This episode is brought to you by MATCH.COM. Online Dating can be hard but Match.com is making it a lot easier. Match.com is the #1 online dating platform in first and second dates, leading to more dates, relationships, and marriages than any other app/site. MATCH.COM is offering a 7-day free trial to all TSC listeners- just register & download the app and you'll be on your way to a meaningful relationship.  Go to www.match.com/skinny for a 7-day free trial on the leading online dating platform.  This episode is brought to you by THRIVE MARKET. We use Thrive for our online grocery delivery on a weekly basis. They provide the highest quality products and ingredients delivered straight to our door with unbeatable prices.  Be sure to grab our deal by going to to https://thrivemarket.com/skinny to receive $60 of FREE organic groceries from Thrive Market + free shipping and a 30 day trial!" Keep in mind that Thrive Market's  prices are already 25- 50% below retail because they cut out the middleman. And now they are offering $60 off free organic groceries!  

The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by Match.com. Okay, so I feel like there are so many women in the secret Facebook group and on the Skinny Confidential who want more than just a one-night stand or a random hookup, but they still don't want to get married. So they're kind of like in between, you know. It's nothing desperate, just a confident girl who's looking to meet a cool mate. Anyway, it can be hard on the internet out there, so I hear.

but Match.com is making this situation a lot easier. Match is the number one in first and second dates leading to more dates, relationships, and marriages than any other app or site, which is insane. If you're single and ready to mingle, it's time to take control of your dating lives through a process of smart matching that is super tailored to the customer. Match.com is offering a seven-day free trial to all TSC listeners. Just register and download the app and you'll be on your way to a meaningful relationship. And if you guys end up getting married, make sure you announce at your wedding that the Skinny Confidential set you up.

She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show.

This week we have a YouTuber and influencer Lauren Elizabeth on the show. On this episode, we talk about depression and anxiety, the many roles of digital content creators, beating to the tune of your own drum, mental illness, taking breaks from technology, and running a business versus creating content. Hey guys, we are back and at it, like I said, with another episode. If you're new to the show, happy to have you. I'm Lauren Everts. I'm the creator of the Skinny Confidential, which is a blog brand book.

and podcast. The Skinny Confidential has become a resource for women all over the world, which has turned into a huge community of hundreds of thousands of women. A lot of them are connecting in the secret Facebook group, which you guys have to join. You can just join simply on Facebook by searching the Skinny Confidential. Anyway, I'll let my husband say hi. And I'm Michael Bostic. I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a business operator, I'm a marketer, I'm a husband, I'm a podcaster. I'm a lot of things now. started about 10 years ago in the direct-to-consumer product space with a company called Jetbed. We make beds for corporate and private aircraft still running that company today. And from their marketing, creating different brands in the product space,

helping other brands grow and brand themselves. And most recently, the co-founder of Dear Media, a new kind of podcast company with an emphasis on female hosts and voices. Dear Media will place women, their stories and narratives at the forefront of conversation. just recently started that venture with my partners. Great people. Digital brand architects. Look them up.

Amazing. And, yeah, podcasting. Really into it. You love it. Podcasting is like my favorite thing to do. I have all those things. I'm tailoring a lot of them down and focusing in on the podcast. Do you like podcasting with your wife?

I do. It can get a little dicey sometimes. How so? You know, got to watch out since like chopping onions with you. You don't, I feel I have a winning personality every second of every day? The only answer to that, Lauren. is yes, the only right answer at least. So this weekend was pretty chill. We did kind of nothing but worked and relaxed and read. Yesterday was Sunday. It was the first time that I can

remember. Literally the first, I mean... Don't do your whole four score in seven years ago thing. We've had... I can't with that. We've had days where we chill out, right? Like, that's no secret where we just like kind of relax. But yesterday was the first time that I can remember. And I'm not kidding, years, years, where I actually took the majority of the day and slept. This is what you do. You're like, it was a cold stormy day in 1986. Like, like backtrack.

I don't, I mean. I didn't rest yesterday. I actually got my ass up and worked out and went and worked at my favorite coffee shop and had an egg salad sandwich. Listen, you're the one that always talks about how important rest and sleep is. And just so people know, I'm not one of those. people that's like stay up, don't go to sleep, don't rest. Like I do think sleep's super important. I think lately for me, I've only, as I've gotten older, I've only needed like six to seven hours a night. And some people say that's not enough. But for me, it feels, I can feel completely

energized with that amount of sleep. I don't feel like I'm lacking sleep. Get up early, go to bed pretty late. But yesterday was the first day where my body was like, okay, listen, you're crashing. You need to take it easy. And I slept probably eight hours in the day, which is pretty crazy. For me. Like I said, I can't remember the last time that ever happened. Now that we've gotten your whole autobiography. So let me take you guys back to when it all happened, when it all started. So yesterday I went and worked out.

Like I said, I got some work done. And then I have this robe that Venus floor sent me that is this hotel robe. Have you guys ever gone to a hotel and just worn the robe the whole time? I sleep in it. It's like the warm, plush, puffy robe. Anyway, I was wearing that all weekend. We have a friend that literally steals the robes from every hotel. And slippers.

And slippers. And he didn't realize until just recently because his wife handles a lot of the finances that they charge you every time that happens. He thought he was like pulling a fast one and he's just got a closet full of these robes. But he's literally to know he's been charged all these times. I think that's a good birthday gift for you though to get you like a real hotel. What's the company that's in it? It's from a flower company, Venus Fleur, but the robe is not made by Venus Fleur. I'll have to look who it's made by.

What the fuck, Venus Flur? Like, I'm just, but you send one robe? No, sorry. It's just mine. Don't try to get in. How many episodes do I need to do till I get a free robe? Actually, you know what? I don't want a free robe.

Never mind. Wait, what, despise the free lunch? Dispise the free lunch? Dispise the free lunch. Explain to everyone what that means. There's an author named Robert Green who wrote a book called The 48 Laws of Power. It's a great book. You check it out.

But one of his things, he says, despise the free lunch. You know those situations where someone's like, hey, I want to give to this. No. Say no. Or I want to take you here. I want to do this. Listen, blood diamond. There is never anything in this world. That's free. That's free. It always comes with the cost. It might not be a monetary cost, but it comes with the cost. Despise the free lunch. I feel like we should make sure it's say that. Okay. Okay, so on this episode,

we are talking a lot about anxiety and depression, and I actually just put up a blog post that is really important to me. It's probably one of the most important blog posts I've ever written. I'm not ready to talk about it on the podcast yet, but if you are interested in checking it out, it does have to do with anxiety and depression. Go read it. It's up on the skinny confidential. And it will probably be up all week because it's just such an important post. I don't think I'm going to bump anything on top of it. And I'm proud of you for writing it. Very proud of you. Thank you. All right. I know we're going to get into some of the heavier subjects on the show. But to switch gears a little bit, it's wedding season. Wu has been flying off the shelves. People are getting frisky.

and people, you know, it's gearing up. My sister's getting ready to get married. People are dating, you know. They're getting excited. A lot of my friends are in relationships now. That's kind of cool for me because I get to do like double date situations. You know, for a long time it's been just me, like lone wolf, but lone wolf in the relationship, not lone wolf in the dating scene. A lot of autobiographies today.

Okay, so there's like 30,000 insane women in the secret Facebook group and I feel like a bunch of them are single. If you guys are wondering how I know this, I actually stock the group daily. Like, I'm really in there reading and liking and commenting every single day. I even ask Michael, sometimes I'll chuckle out loud but won't show on my phone. And so many of these women are looking for a cool, chill mate, but I feel like it's becoming almost harder sometimes with social media. And I know there are a lot of meh dating sites out there. That's what I call them.

Anyway, enter match.com. So guys, match.com is legit. It streamlines the whole entire process. And if you know me, you know I love a streamlined process. In fact, if I was single, I feel like I would sign up for match. Maybe when I'm on my second marriage, I might use it. You know, babe? Yeah, by then I'll be on my fourth.

Here's some fun facts for you guys. One in three dates, relationships, and marriages begin online. When you want more than a one-night stand or a quick hookup, but you don't want to be told whom to marry tomorrow or you don't want to rush into marriage or you don't want to lead with desperation, I feel like this is one for you. Match.com is the app for anyone out there who's like this. Yeah, and you know, I feel like a lot of my friends, actually don't just feel I know a lot of my friends on these swipe dating apps. They're there for a good time, which nothing wrong with that. Like, you know. They're there for a swipe.

They're there for a good time, a swipe. Yeah, that's one way to put it. But I don't think they're there for a serious time. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's just maybe not the stage of their life that they're in. Does that make sense? They're on the app. Read between the lines.

Yeah, they're basically on the app for a one-night stand or a quickie, you know. And I think my friends that go on Match.com are there because they want a relationship. They're a little bit more mature. They're ready for commitment. You know, so it's like, it's different playing fields here. Match.com is the number one in first and second dates leading to more dates, relationships and marriage than any other app or site. Wow, that's nuts. I love this fact specifically for the Facebook group. So if you guys have been in the Facebook group and you've been kind of having

guy trouble, you'll have to check it out. Dating can be tough. I mean, I don't really know, but I've heard a lot about it. So if you're looking for something that's really meaningful and real, Match.com is the place to go. I feel like it's time to take control of dating and feel empowered, and Match.com really follows through for you. When you can put out what you want out there and see if there's synergy where some of these other like swipe things is just kind of like looks hit or miss, you know, this really you can like tailor what you're looking for. Yeah, it's curated. You can tailor it to exactly what you want. I love it.

Can you imagine how tailored might be at this point? No, no. Oh my God. It's efficient. So that's what we love. Go to match.com and sign up for a seven day free trial, register and download the app. Again, that's www. dot match.com. With that, let's go into the him and her tip of the week. You start, babe.

Okay, the hymn tip this week comes, you know, with the announcement in the launch of dear media and with us getting ready to announce new shows and talent, there have been a lot of questions flooding my inbox lately on how to start a podcast. And it's interesting to think back on it now after doing it for the last two years and, you know, self-producing it, then being with the network, then going back to self-producing, now starting our own network. I started putting a lot of thought into it. And I was like, okay, what's the differences between when we started and now? And I think while there's a lot of things that are the same,

the space has definitely become more saturated, more competitive. So let's see three things, if you're thinking about creating a podcast. First, I would say audio quality. When Lauren and I launched, if you go back and listen, I think we shared it on episode 100, the audio quality was not up to par. And there are plenty of articles and resources which can show you good equipment to go through, which I'll get into in a second.

But I think it was okay for Lauren and I, one, because Lauren had a built-in audience, but two, there was not a ton of people in the space that were really podcasting. I think the biggest hurdle for us was actually getting people to go into the podcast apps and listen to it as a medium, right? So, you know, when people first came, they didn't really, a lot of them didn't know the difference. But now with so many podcasts and so many people listening to podcasts, you just can't afford to launch with shitty audio quality anymore. Like people tune in and if it's not good, they're going to tune out and go to another show. So I think it's important if you're thinking of launching a podcast to do whatever you can, scrape together, whatever money you can, if you're serious about it, and invest in quality audio equipment.

There's a lot of really good articles on quality audio equipment. that's a tongue twister. I'm going to write a post soon, haven't gotten to it yet, but Lauren and are getting ready to launch a podcast site, and I think I'll put it in one of the resource pages. But if you search, like, Lewis Howes or Joe Rogan podcast equipment or whatever podcast you like, more than likely, there's a list of articles and a list of equipment that they use.

So definitely invest in audio equipment. Second, with the space getting more and more saturated in competition being elevated, I think it's really, really important to prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare. people want value. What unique perspective can you offer on your show that's going to keep people coming back week after week with my partner. I call it the rule of 25.

Would you listen to this type, whatever type of audio content that you're putting out? Would you listen to this type of content 25 weeks in a row? You as a consumer. And really, really be brutally honest with yourself. Ask your friends. Ask your family. Ask people that are just peers, coworkers, whatever. Say, would you listen to this 25 weeks in a row?

And if the answer is no, go back to the drawing board and figure out what you can do to get people to listen for 25 weeks. Anyone can put a podcast up and have, you know, five, ten episodes to be good. But really, like, what does it look like at that 25 mark? And then consistency. Commit to a minimum of one show per week for a minimum of 25 weeks. That's essentially six months. It's a big commitment.

This is not just a mean appearing on your own show for 25 weeks. Invite guests on that can share your show, go on other shows, collaborate. It's a hard space, and it takes tons of work, and you have to be willing to commit that time. And I think, you know, it may be discouraging to hear this, but if you're not willing to do those things, there are plenty of other mediums that I think you can have success in. But podcasting specifically, you need consistency, you need quality, you need to provide value. And I think that is a good starting point. You're going to obviously find more things along the road, and you're going to be able to tweak and come up with your own formula.

But I think those three cornerstones are important. I also just want to say, if you guys are wondering which equipment we use, you can email, I'll ask Lauren at the skinny confidential.com. That's Lauren with a Y. And we will send you a list of everything we use. And I want to say something about you and give you a little compliment here. You are constantly, even though you've been podcasting for like 100 episodes, you're constantly learning about podcasting.

So we're not just like, oh, we've done 100 episodes. We're good. We're constantly watching our business and reading articles and reading books and learning how to interview because it's really an art and it's really something. something that you have to practice at. Yeah. So, you know. It's been a, it's been a lot to digest.

I mean, I'm definitely not an audio engineer, but I will say this. The studio that we just built for Dear Media is, bomb. It's like a studio on steroids. Like this thing. It's legit. This thing is a. Proud of you.

Very, very, like, high-end studio, which I'm super excited to start recording. How many times have you had to edit out me screaming and crying? A lot. Yeah. I feel like you're an expert. Okay. Let's get into the hit. her tip. Thrive. Okay, you guys know I'm obsessed with Thrive Market, but my tip has to do with something

that you can get there. We've talked about Thrive a million times on the podcast, but we just get all our healthy food and snacks there, so it makes sense. I get a bunch of beauty items like the Aztec healing clay and Egyptian magic cream. Oh, it's so good. I have to shout these out because they're just so fab. I've done a post on both of them on the Skinny Confidential too. So Thrive really has everything. Again, streamlined. We love streamlined. If you've been listening to the podcast for the last few months, like I said, you know about

Thrive. If you haven't taken advantage of our Thrive link, which gets you $60 in free groceries and free shipping, you need to, like immediately. I'm serious. I give the link to everyone in the Skinny Confidential Facebook group. I give it to my family, my friends, everyone's using it. The link Thrive is extending to you. is thrivemarket.com slash skinny. And again, it's freaking free $60 in groceries plus free shipping.

Okay, so back to my tip of the week. I'm really into Thrive right now because they have vitamins and supplements. And they have this thing that is called Calm Tea. Michael loves it. So do I. So if you're a total stress case, Michael, you need to try Calm. They have this lemon raspberry flavor. it's so good. The original is good too, and it's basically this magnesium supplement that's a powder that you can put in hot or cold water. Michael likes it in ice water. I like it in warm water. It's known as Nature's Xanax, just to give you a little vibe on what it's like. So sometimes I even mix it with hot tropical green tea. You could add a little apple cider vinegar, do you here? one time I gave it to my sister and she literally passed out at my house so it's really great to

drink probably before you go to bed that's when we like to drink it like I said it's full of magnesium which is super important and kind of gets everything moving and grooving in the morning winky wink if you know what I mean so it flushes all the toxins out it puts you to bed it's good it tastes good and you need magnesium they also have liquid fish oil. So definitely check that out. This is so good for your skin, guys. It makes your skin all plump and dewy. My facialist Renee actually told me that fish oil is one of the best things you can ingest for your skin. I like the liquid one on Thrive. I just add a few drops to my smoothie and we're good to go. I should also mention that they have cod liver for kids. So it's

basically all for kids. And I just feel like my kid's going to be so annoyed with me because I'll just be like sneaking cod liver in their peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which will be on a GG Cracker. Can you taste it or no? Not if you put it in a smoothie. Because cod liver doesn't, you know. Sack up, close your nose. I could do it.

I've done worse. You know how many times I put it in your smoothie? Yeah. No. I mean, you never taste it. That's a good point. Liquid fish oil on thrive. Michael for supplements and vitamins loves Paul Stammitt's host defense.

My community mushroom complex. Man, that's a mouthful. I have not been six. since I started taking this stuff. We've talked about it in other podcasts. You can get it on Thrive. Let me guess you hate being sick. I hate, yep.

It's just like every other man out there. But I'm telling you, like when I go, when I travel, pack a few of these things, I do not get sick anymore because of this. It's the best. Yeah, so those are our top three right now. Definitely the calm tea, the liquid fish oil, do the cod liver for the kids. And then Michael likes that mushroom complex. All of these are on Thrive.

So you guys should know that Thrive Market is always 25 to 50% off retail because they cut out the middleman, so you're already getting tremendous value. I've been getting all my vitamins delivered on a monthly basis from Thrive, and it saves me a ton. So I'm super fired up to recommend those to you this week. I hope you guys like it. So go get your supplements, do some grocery shopping, throw in some cod liver, get some beauty products. It's a win-win all around. And having Thrive as a partner on the show has been so incredible. Check them out at Thrivemarket.com forward slash skinny. And remember, guys, it's not a coupon. code. It's an actual link. That's Thrivemarket.com slash skinny and get $60 of free groceries and

free shipping plus a one-month trial. Happy shopping. Lauren Elizabeth began her career blogging in 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. From blogging to making YouTube videos to hosting, to acting, and producing, to designing. The list goes on. Lauren's blog has allowed her to chase after her wildest dreams at a super young age while moving her whole life to Los Angeles. After years of success in all fields, she's back to her roots of writing and sharing on her platform, love Laurenelisabeth.com. She has a bomb-ass Instagram account.

She's a dog owner, a cheese lover. She's a social media influencer. The list goes on. With that, welcome to the show, Lauren. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Okay, Lauren, so let's talk about how you got into the YouTube space. I know you started as a blogger. Yes.

How did you get into YouTube from blogging? I was writing everything and I realized this is really hard to write everything out. It would be so much easier if I just filmed myself doing it because I was doing a lot of beauty at the time too. And I'm not by any means like a beauty person. Like I got exposed real fast. Everyone was like, you don't even know what you're doing. You're not putting on eye shadow right. I'm like, I know.

Okay. So I just figured, okay, this would be a lot easier to film. And so when I started YouTube, I actually like didn't talk to the camera. And I think those videos are privated now. but it was just me doing my makeup to the camera to show people, but I wasn't like a personality yet. And then doing that, I got into watching other beauty videos

and saw what other girls were doing. And I was like, oh, this is fun. I could do that. I remember seeing, like, what's in my bag video or something. But like the first, it is so horrible. I don't know how I'm sitting here right now. Like, my first videos are horrendous.

Like, I talk like this and I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing, but like here's like a clothes. I'm like, what was I doing? Like I acted like I didn't want to be doing it and someone was forcing me to do it. So it's come a long way. It's like how I started YouTube is not the same way of how like maybe I grew my channel for lack of a better term.

Do you just think you weren't comfortable in the beginning? Probably. I think it was a weird thing. I think I was probably a defense mechanism of like I don't want people to make fun of me. So if I just like be as far removed from it as possible, like I wanted to do it but like was this afraid at the same time because you get so much hate online. No, what's happening with YouTube? I noticed, especially with YouTube, there's so much hate.

I don't even know. I feel like it's like the place where people go and they can just rip people apart. And it's just in seconds too. And it's gotten a lot better for me. I have like this rule where I'll upload and then I watch the comments for like an hour to make sure like nothing's wrong that I didn't like edit something out or whatever. And then after that, like I see like what people are like talking about because you have like the top comments. And after that I don't look like for the rest of my life.

So the best time to get to you in the comments is the first hour. Yeah, literally. Like, I won't look. I think it is that maybe I'm wrong. But on YouTube, you're not like, when people comment, you're not like going and looking in their profile. Oh, yeah, no. But on Instagram, like, you have to be careful who you hate on and what you say because

people can go back into your profile. It's like, if you're willing to dish it, you better be willing to take it. Well, and I feel like Instagram is so much easier, too, to go on the profile and see all the stuff. YouTube, people don't, if you're not a YouTuber, you don't have a page. But, like, most everyone has an Instagram with pictures on it and stuff. So it's a lot easier to be like, oh, 16 from Kansas. Like, why are you talking about me?

Like, ta-da-da, whatever. You almost have to detach from it. That's what I found works for me. You have to just detach from it. And if it's on Instagram, I feel like your audience kind of goes after the person that's being mean. But with YouTube, it's not like that. No.

So you're right. You just have to put it up and detach. Yeah. I mean, I have no other choice because, like, it affects me even to this day. Like, I don't get as, like, upset as I used to or defensive. It's more of just, it's more of like the business side of it. of like, oh my God, this isn't doing well. Like, this is my business.

Like, well, like, I'm not making my audience happy. Like, they're my consumers, whatever. So, like, it's more side that of anxiety of like, I can't fail, I can't fail. Whereas before it would be like, oh, my God, my feelings are hurt. Like, you don't think I'm pretty. And now I'm like, I don't think I'm pretty either. It's fine. Like, we can all agree.

Oh, my God. You're gorgeous. So is there a formula that you have now or was there a formula? Or is there something like you upload Monday, Wednesday, Friday? Yeah, I mean, consistency is definitely the key. thing and I always I've always played around with different formulas and I have you know friends that have their own formulas I have them my one girlfriend who she's like a really big YouTuber and she's been on there since she was 11 it's her 10 year anniversary or made no nine year anniversary was last

week we were like sitting in a meeting she's like it's my nine year anniversary I was like like it's half of her life has been spent on the internet and she has uploaded every single Saturday for nine years every single Saturday it wasn't until this year where she missed like like three because it was just a weird year on YouTube and she kind of like started detaching herself from it. And so that, whenever I compare myself to that, I'm like, if that's the formula, then I don't have one. But technically, I think overall consistency in once a week uploading, especially with our type of content, like some people have daily uploads. Some people have weekly, da-da-da. And so it's easy to play around with a lot of different stuff, especially when it comes

to the actual content. But I think as long as I'm uploading like four times a month, that's like what I aim for or else you're just like it's like you died and what about a break you know I was texting with you and you said on the weekends I take a break and I sometimes in the same way like Sunday sometimes I just don't want to post anything yeah how do you separate that and how did you get to that place where you're like I need a break on the weekends I think it's when I moved to L.A. I was had just turned 19 and so I went from when I moved here I also didn't want to just be one of those YouTubers moving here and being like I can just I wasn't making enough money from YouTube to just like screw around all day and then like upload a couple videos.

And so I actually set myself up with an internship, which is now where I'm repped as talent in the YouTube community. And so I was like writing and producing. And it was like I was treated as a legit intern, even though like I had more followers in the company at the time. But like no one even really knew. And so I was still like getting coffee, doing all the thing. And I threw myself so much in that that I was working like seven days a week.

I remember I was like hosting in pop culture. So it was like Justin Bieber would be getting a DUI. and I'd be like up at 2 a.m. Like making sure we had all like the right DUI facts for like the morning. And so I did that for like a year, quit to become talent, had to work even harder to prove that I wasn't just like an employee. And then all of a sudden I was like 21 and still had like no friends in LA. I just had like the YouTube people or whatever that I was friends with.

And I met a guy and I was dating him. So it wasn't even like I went and got my own friends. Like I was hanging out with all these older people that like I didn't connect with unless it was in a group setting. and I literally turned like 22 and realized I hadn't acted like a 21 year old. I hadn't gone to college. Like I didn't really have a group of like girlfriends out here and all I did was work. For three years I just worked, worked like that was it.

And so once that really hit me and I was like single finally or whatever, I just said to myself, I was like, I'm doing whatever I want. And so then you go too crazy and you're like, okay, I can't go out like three times a week. Like that's just not even my personality, but I was like making up for a lot. lost time. And so once I finally got it out of my system a little bit, that's when I was like, balance is a thing and I should use it. And so now my past two years of my life, it's just been about balance, balance, balance, because I don't ever want to go back to a place where I'm like a workaholic like I used to be. I know it's always in me. But I think that like I get so much

more from like hanging out with people and like doing stuff and like it's become a part of my brand as well as like hosting and like having people over for dinner or whatever. So I think that balance says just I have to play it by ear sometimes too like like I was telling you today like I'm like I don't know if I'm going to go home and like work till 8 p.m or if I need to like go nap and like take it slow today but it's weird working for yourself I know to discipline yourself it's the worst like I was even on the phone and they were like well you're the CEO so it's going to be your decision and I was just like wait what I was like I call my agency to tell me what to do not for them to tell me like it's my choice sometimes I have to remember that like that we set

our own schedules yeah because you get stuck in routine and you're like work work work work And they're like, wait a minute, I'm really tired. I can actually take a break. Yeah. Nobody's going to yell at me. It's hard to take breaks. I mean, you're keeping me on track every second of the day. Yeah, but I mean, I'm the type of person that has to always have some kind of something going.

Yeah. Same. Yeah. But that doesn't necessarily mean it always needs to be work. Oh, really? I just have to have something going on. We know. So with the YouTube community, talk to us about, like, say there's someone out there that has

no idea what that means. Can you explain what that means? And to me, it seems like a really positive. of uplifting community. Maybe a little bit different than the blogging community. I don't know. Well, see, it's funny because I started like blogging, but I never was a part of the blogging community.

And so it was always a really different. There's so many communities. And the YouTube, I think we're all like even more connected because we're really pioneering this industry together. And over the past couple of years, having like the traditional entertainment business really take to us and either love us or hate us. but either way, still interested in us. It's kind of brought everyone even closer

because we're these people that are from all over the country that didn't have a creative outlet where they were from and had something inside of them compelling them to share their lives on YouTube, whether it was, you know, they were in the closet or they had a bunch of anxiety or they just loved makeup but like no one in their high school wore it. And so they wanted to share it online.

And so we were all these people that were kind of like the odd men out and then all started making content and then found each other. And it actually is a really tight-knit community. I think the bigger people get, the more they want to pretend, like, you know, I don't know you. And I'm like, we've met like five times. But like, it's fine. And I know what I mean?

Like that happens to the blogging community all the time. And I'm like the biggest, I have no shame I will fan girl over you. Like if I like you're going to know it. I'm not going to be like, oh, what's your name? Like, I always go check their following list. They know who you are. Like don't, like, whatever. It's just an L.A. thing too, I think.

Well, it's such a small community. to where everyone knows everybody. I know. We were talking to Jillian Michaels and she said like in LA people make a point to let you know they don't give a shit about you.

Like it's like, you go out of their way to be like, yeah, I don't watch your stuff or I don't know who you are. It's like, well, fuck off then, you know what I mean? It's like it makes everyone feel better

that we like don't care about each other. I think it's like probably a coping mechanism when it's done to yourself maybe. I don't know. But anyway, it's just, I think the YouTube community people, like I remember one year someone was like,

yeah, it's just a bunch of garbage. And I'm like, you don't understand. Like, it is a full-time job. We all have, like, lighting setups, tri-pads. We have these huge computers with terabytes and all this stuff. And we edit all of our own content. We create.

We think of our stuff. I know some people write out their stuff first. I don't. I just do improv. And so it's a lot of work. And even, like, as dumb as some of these people's content can look, it's so thought out. And so just not scripted, but just premeditated in what it's going to do. The way I look at it is this.

Like, and people need, like, I think people should understand this, is that you are the actor, the producer, the director, the editor, and then the marketer and distributor of that content. And I think when people, especially, you know, traditional business people are traditional celebrity type, when they understand that, it's like, no, you're not just showing up and like doing your part and leaving. Yeah. You're doing all of these things. Like in Lauren's case, you know, she's got to write. She's got to come up the content. She's got to get the pictures taken. Then she's got to upload it.

Then she's got to share it. Like, same thing for you. If I could just show up as talent, by the way, just show up and be like, I'm here. like hair and makeup ready to go. That would be very, very nice. That's why acting is so much fun because I get to like show up to a set. And then leave. And then I know and when I'm not on camera, I just get to go to my dressing room and like,

I feel like I should be doing a million things. I'm like, no, like I'm not needed on set. Like I'm fine. And you get lines too when you're improvving a lot of the time. So it's different. So talk to us about acting. So you're also an actress. Yes.

How does that, and we kind of talked about this before we got on the podcast, but how does that kind of go together with the YouTube community? Like, what's the vibe of that? It's kind of what Michael was saying, like, marketing, because we market our own stuff. But then we have this following that we're able to market other stuff, just like how we get brand deals. And if we get a movie, like, that needs to be marketed too. And so I think that's why people in the traditional space were getting frustrated because

some people started getting cast because they just had these followings that they could market. And because the production companies know that they're going to bring an audience right away. Yeah. And so they would say, you know, oh, he's a cute young boy and he has all these followers. let's put them in the series and then it'll get all this audience. And the problem with that is some people couldn't act or it just maybe they didn't even want to act. They were just using their following. But don't you think, I mean, I understand where it could be problematic for the industry as a whole.

Because if somebody does a bad job, then it like gives everybody a bad name. But at the same time, like in the long run, don't you think it's a good thing? Because it kind of weeds out the people that maybe shouldn't be actors. That's a good point because that's a thing like at the, at the, end of the day, you're either good. The cream rises at the top. Exactly. And so that's what I feel like, even I was shooting a movie and I was one of three like influencers. And it was, it's interesting because even the deal, it was an acting fee and then a marketing fee. Because obviously we were getting paid something different than just the regular actors. And then it was, I auditioned and,

like, was supposed to be the lead of the movie and got knocked down to the best friend because they wanted a girl with more followers, which is just like not how casting works. So, like that is very unique. And then it was like when we got on set, you know, she couldn't even really perform because she just wasn't an actor. And we kind of had to start like moving the camp. Like we had all these shots set up. We're like, okay, well, like, let's make sure we get more coverage on the other side so that like when

she's talking, we have other stuff to fill it in if we need to cut it out. Like so that's where it gets a little tricky. But like then those movies are made and no one wants to do that again. So it's like you're saying it's not going to happen for the next 10 years. It's not going to continuously happen. Yeah. No, but I think it's important to go through the process because if I'm a production company and I know that there is, like let's say there's a group of 10 YouTubers or 10 influencers and I know, okay, of these 10, like one or two of them can really, really act. And they have a built-in audience.

Like me as the production company, I definitely want to get that data and try that out because there's so many, I mean, the movie industry right now, as everybody knows, it's difficult. Like so many movies are getting disrupted. Netflix is there, Amazon. People just aren't making the same type of money they used to make. I don't think it's happened yet with movies, but it has happened with model. right like oh yeah now they look at people's following when they cast i think that you guys are going to start to be like the hot new thing of acting i think the conversation's going to completely change yeah i mean especially if you have the chops to do what it takes and everything you show up and

you do a good job which like you know not everyone can do it but at the end of the day you know where people talking to the camera like there's some type of on-camera presence that we do have and like it's almost like oh you're just a YouTuber and it's like okay but i'm still like acting to a camera Like I clearly can act. I'm like, Lauren Elizabeth is just a part or whatever. Everyone's always like, turn Lauren Elizabeth off. Where's Lauren?

I'm always like, stop. We were talking earlier. Like, there is that there's still traditional celebrities that have embraced social media. And you could see what's happening with their brand. They kill it. Like, I was just thinking like Mark Hamill the other day has really like embraced social media.

And he's all over Twitter and all these things. And he just launched Star Wars. And so just that alone, like everyone obviously knows Mark Campbell and they know Star Wars, but he's super engaged online as well. And you could see like that really helps with the number. is like there's nothing stopping the traditional celebrity from embracing these platforms. Right.

Right. Like if they, they just, there's a resistance to it, but the smart ones that are using it, it's like they can have their, their platform, which is their huge celebrity and use these platforms and be, and not be exposed to. Yeah. Let's say up and coming YouTubers or be like that. Right. It's just a resistance of saying like, oh, I don't, I don't believe in those mediums.

I'm not going to put myself there. It's like, no, this is 2018. Like these are real tools or real platforms. Well, because it also, some of the digital people that I know, especially, you know, they're like, well, I don't really want to do. YouTube anymore because I just want to be taken seriously as an actress and I'm like well first of all like YouTube's what got you here and you have this huge audience I was just talking my friend the other day I was like you know what you here's the thing to like think about when you don't want to she's like I just

don't feel like doing YouTube this week or this month I just want to act and I'm like first of all good luck making indie actor salary compared to what you're used to like you're going to have to move apartments second of all you have this audience in this platform like do you ever just feel so lucky that like if you want to talk about something you have these people that are just willing to listen. Like we're in this unique position where we have this amazing community of people that we can express ourselves on. Like sometimes we really take that for granted and we shouldn't be pushing it away just because traditional media is making us feel like we have to like we should embrace it. And I always use the example of like Madeline Pettish. She's on Riverdale and she vlogs

like almost every other day. Yeah. And the show kills it. Yeah. And it's like she started vlogging after she started getting an audience from Riverdale. But it's not like she's just embraced it. she's embraced the online community, but she's also literally killing it as a traditional actress. Shea Mitchell started a YouTube channel when pretty little liars ended. Like there is a way to be taken seriously, I think in both fields if you have the chops to do what it takes. Absolutely. It's actually called, there's a book called The Slight Edge and it's started reading that. It's so good. It's so good. It's basically like you can't like forget where you came from and a lot of people will abandon what made them successful and start to do other things, but you

always have to keep doing what made you successful in the first place. So like for me, if I just, like, wanted to stop blogging and only podcast, that's probably not a good thing. I should still continue to blog. Right. For you, it would be, you know, you still continue to do YouTube and do other things. Right. So let's talk a little bit about failure. What's a failure that at the time you thought was horrible and it actually has turned out to be an incredible blessing? Ooh, um, I'm so hard on myself, like in general. So like it could be like a daily thing or like big stuff. Um, I mean, I think just like you said, like the consistency and stuff, a lot of the times I, I have a tendency to become inconsistent with things and focus on other things or, you know, move from a manager to

whatever. And so I think just failures that I feel like are the end of the world is just missing deadlines and content and like not getting everything done on like a consistent time schedule. it's hard being your own boss and it's hard making your own decisions and i think it's i don't think i've ever gone through anything knock on wood that has been so big that has really done it it's more of like i you know say yes to everything and then i can't do everything completely well enough and then i like look back and i'm like well maybe i wouldn't have lost that deal or maybe if i would have done this more i would have been here or whatever so i think it's just like a combination of perfectionism looking back and being like i could have done this better i could have

done this better. I could have done this faster. And it's just I, you know, you see people coming out with all this stuff all the time and it's hard to keep up. And so you get hard on yourself like, oh, she already relaunched her website. Like I haven't done mine yet. Mine's not ready yet. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. But then get tired, get tired. So how do you filter some of that out? And we talk about that a lot on this show is basically comparing yourself to other people or other platforms or competition. How do you kind of filter that out and figure out what to pay attention to and what to say, okay, I don't need to pay attention to that. Yeah, I mean, I think it's important. to pay attention because for me I have to like I like knowing what's going on and because I'm I'm just

curious too I like a girl will come out with a clothing line and I'll like DM it to my agent be like who funded this just because I'm curious like I want to know what's going on on the business side but it's not like I'm like jealous and I think that the biggest thing that I learned is the more you know is it's all a lot of smoke and mirrors and I think a lot of people don't realize that and I just am so like business savvy and I like educating myself and I don't treat myself like talent. Like a lot of people just think they're talent and that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter.

They only want things to filter through their manager. They, you know, they just, they only want to work nine to five. And I'm over here, like hustling. I'm CEC'd on every single email.

Like I know everything that's going on. And I'm curious. And once you, you know, pick people's brands more and stuff, you're just like, oh, wait,

like it's not as cool as it looks. I think it's so smart to be first the businessman or woman. Yeah. Then the talent after. Yeah, I'm like obsessed with what you just said. When I talk to people or influencers in the space, like I always, like for me, I'm traditionally like I'm a business man.

Like, I'm not, I wouldn't call myself talent at all. Right. A lot of this podcast is just, you know, to create businesses and to run a business. Right. And I always think it's strange when people don't pay attention to the business side and think they can just show up because there's no longevity there, right? You're going to, you're constantly at the mercy of other people, whether it's agents or managers or companies or brands.

At some point, you have to start taking accountability and say, okay, I am a business. I'm a business person first, and then the talent side is the secondary part of that. How did you have the foresight at your age, because you're 23 years old, to know how important the business side is? And if there's someone out there that's 21, 22, 23, are there any kind of tips or tricks that you can give them to start paying attention to that side if they're getting into YouTube or blogging? I mean, I think because right when I started, it's not that I like did YouTube for like the money or for like any of that stuff. And I don't think, because I feel like business can get misconstrued with that. But I just, I saw it right when it started, I saw it as a business

right away as like a 17 year old. And my mom has just always been young and savvy and entrepreneurial. And so I was like going to high school for two hours and like driving to the city of Chicago and like just pimping myself out and like networking and, you know, making my own mic flags and being like, I'm a host now. Like da-da-da. And so I think I just always had it in me like that business savvy side and then being in such a new industry and also being in something that doesn't totally exist. It's not like you go to college and after year one, you go to year two and then after year three you have to have all these credits. There's no secret method or recipe for any of this. And so I just have been always wanted to be at the forefront of it and know what's going on

because it's scary not knowing. And like I just I think I want to know more and I'd rather know more than not. And so my biggest tips is to like always be. be involved and always stay on top of it and just know that you're your own boss. Like I think a lot of people, even my friends, they forget that they're, I've always say all these people work for you. Like your agency, you hired them. Like they're your employee. Like your manager, like they work for you.

Like that's why we fire people, they don't fire us. And so I just always have stayed in it. It's just so easy. I feel like for people to the ones they get successful to like take the back seat and let everyone else do it. But it's completely longevity. It's like, what are you going to do when something goes wrong? wrong you have no idea who you don't know anyone from the brands you've been working with you don't

know how this came about you're like on these emails and since I think it's also the satisfaction of like I'll be on the emails and like I know stuff before all my friends or like I know what's actually going on and I'll be like no that's not where I'm they're like oh wait where's the event tonight I'm like you don't even know like your cat like it's so it's crazy like I just get more satisfaction from being maybe knowing it all because growing up I was just not good in school and didn't know anything and now I'm like, oh, street smarts, I got that. You have to keep longevity in mind, too. Yeah.

Like, if you were to ask somebody, okay, where are you taking this in 10 years and they're the one, they're not making decision, not paying attention to that, they're in trouble. I was reading this thing, an interview that Warren Buffett did the other day, and he was saying basically that you should focus on windows of seven years and then windows of one to two months. He said the people that run into trouble are focusing on the windows of like one to two years, right? And they're making decision, okay, like a year from now, I'm going to be doing this. Right.

Two years from here. He said it's more important to kind of, strategize for the next one to two months and really like micro-fococused on that. And then where is that going to take you in seven years? And he says, if you think like that, you're going to make much different decisions, better decisions, as opposed to someone that's just trying to do something quick or maybe have an agent or a manager make their decisions because you can really shoot yourself on the foot if you're not paying attention.

Yeah. And I think that most people probably think of today and then 10 years because it's like, oh, this brand deal just came in. Oh, that's good money today. Got it. Taking it. And then when you're like, what do you want to do? They're like, I want to be a movie star and have this company, blah, blah, blah.

And it's just like, that's great. How are you going to get that? Yeah, they don't macro focus on it or anything. So you're talking about not having like a specific formula, but you're involved in the YouTube community. Is there a trait or something that you see that's common in all these YouTubers that have made them successful? Like, is there something that you see? I know everybody has a different formula and does things differently. But is there like some type of personality trait or a practice?

that they do on a regular basis? Yeah, I think that it's the cheesiest thing, but it's so true, is that it's genuinely these people being themselves. Like, everyone is unique in their own way. And when people go on to YouTube and just try to be like someone that's successful, it doesn't resonate because it's the first of all, it already exists. And second of all, you can tell it's just not authentic. And so even for me when I was trying to, you know, do so many things,

the moment I, like, stripped everything back and was like, guys, I'm going to start making just comedy and lifestyle. I want to do what I want to do. like I don't want to try to be this person and try to just because I was trying to do what all these other girls were doing and it just wasn't working and that that was when I grew like I went from 100,000 subscribers to a million and less than a year from just changing my content to being authentically who I was and you know you have it's harder to deal with hate that way because you're so much more raw but I always use the example of if I'm over here and

Selena Gomez is over here girls are going to take photos of Selena Gomez from five feet away and maybe walk up and say hi and ask for a picture and girls are going to run up to me and give me a hug and ask me how Stella is, which is my dog. And I'm like, what? I know how Stella is. And so it's like, I'm like, it's just such a, the reason they watch us is because they feel like they have a friend. And it's like when you're not putting on a show or trying to be something you're not,

they connect with you and they connect with your realness. And we're just very open. Like we talk about our daily lives. We talk about what's really going on, the ups and the downs and that for people. And even like you were saying products, like you only talk about things you really love. and when you really love, you push it. And, like, that passion comes across so much. And it's like, well, I know you're a real person and you want me to buy this blanket.

Well, I want to buy the blanket now. But if Chloe Kardashian told me, I'd be like, well, I don't know. She's probably getting paid or does she even like it? Is that her assistant posting? Like, I don't know. I don't care. And so, like, that's why it's just when you're on YouTube, if you're just going to it fully being yourself, that's always my biggest tip.

If you go and having fun and just wanting to share your life, the audience will come if it comes. And if it does, then you just ride it out. But you said something really interesting to me that I have not heard a lot and we've interviewed a lot of people. You said that you didn't get into this to monetize. And actually I have the same lot of parallels there. I got into this to provide value when I was, you know, seven years ago to provide value on my blog with quality photos in a pretty way. Talk to me a little bit about that. I think so don't you feel like everyone asks you how do you make money?

How do you make money? Yeah. Like I wasn't even asking that question for three years. Yeah, when I moved here too, everyone was like, how do you, like, it wasn't even how do you make money? It was how much money do you make? And I'm like, first of all, you don't like walk up to a nurse and be like, how much money do you make? Like, it's so rude. I don't think it occurs in any other field.

Yeah. No, it's like, why does everyone know how much money I make? Like, well, how much money do you make? Like, okay. And, but yeah, so everyone's asking that. And my answer would always be like, I support myself. I'm fine. Like, I don't, I pay all my own bills.

That's how much money I make. And, and yeah, I think that people just. see it as money, but it wasn't always that. Like, there's this thing going on right now, too, where YouTube isn't letting channels that don't get a certain amount of minutes watched per month. Was it like 10,000? Yeah, it's something, that they changed it, literally two weeks or a week and a half ago.

Because of that whole controversy? Yeah. What was the controversy? Just the Logan Paul. All the Logan Paul stuff. They're like changing a bunch of rules that just happened to not be affecting him at all, but everyone else. And he or they, a bunch of people are now tweeting being like, you know,

my biggest accomplishment was it wasn't about the money but it was so exciting getting that like 50 cent check from YouTube being like oh wow like I did something and because when we got into it we none of us were making money like all the biggest creators right now none of us were making money it was simply about having a creative outlet to express ourselves and like I was quitting cheerleading and I just wasn't fitting in on like that side of it and so I would go home close my door and do this like we and that's how we all like you used to be able to comment on someone's video and notice them like Instagram and there was like an inbox with messages. I don't even know if I could send a message on YouTube now.

You probably still can. I just don't know how. But like that's how I made some of my longest friends was like my, I lived with girls for four years that I met through like YouTube comments and stuff like that. So it was really truly this community that now is completely different in a place to have platforms and businesses and Ellen DeGeneres puts her stuff there. Like it's just night and day.

So when we all started, we just monetizing wasn't a thing. It was like joining a club. Like an after school club. So I just think that if anyone is out there listening and they're just starting, if I was them right now in 2018, I would go into this business because I loved it. Right. And not think about monetization for a while. Yeah. I mean, 99% of bloggers when I talk to them or like mentor them, they want to know how to make money.

I think that's completely true for any content medium. I don't know if that's necessarily the advice I would give to like traditional business, right? Like if someone came to me and said, hey, would you invest in this business? we're just doing it. We're not nurses. No, no, but I think for anybody that's creating content, whether you're a writer or an actor or your blog or vlog or vlog or whatever it is, like, if you don't like creating that type of content just for fun, how are you ever going to be good at it?

How are you going to be consistent? And when you relate it to like acting and writing and producing, it's like, have you known any actor or writer that's just like written one thing and it's gotten sold for a million dollars? Like, it takes a lot of time and a lot of work. And even though YouTube seems like it's so quick because you can upload it on the same day, it's still going to take time to build up an audience. And like, if you look at YouTube and you're like, that looks like so much fun. Like, I want to learn how to edit. I want to talk about what's in my bag.

Do it. Start it. But if you're just like, I want to make money, it looks so easy, then it's like you're, you're in for a rude awakening. There's a book I want to tell you about. It's called Daily Rituals, how artists work. Have you ever heard of it? I feel like I'm maybe no. It's by Mason Curry, but basically she would know it if she saw the cover. They take like, basically he did a study and took all these created people, whether it was like Mozart or Einstein, whoever it was, like just, it could be actors, producer, whatever the hell it was throughout history. And he just basically talked about their morning and evening routines. And you see like a commonality between these people's like how consistent the work is and how dedicated they are to it. And I think, you know, you're taking the

best people throughout history and studying them. And if you, if you don't have that dedication, that love for the work, there's just no way. There's no way. So when do you work best? Is it night? Is it morning and and is there rituals that you do in the morning or the night that you know maybe someone out there who's looking to get into this field could do like I like to light my oils. There's two times and they're completely different. The first is I like I have like really bad ADD and I took ADHD medicine in high school and it turned me into like from a F student to an A student because like that's how bad it is. My mom didn't want me to go on it and then she saw the test. She was like, okay, you can go on it. Like you're clearly.

you need it. But I can't take it anymore because it affects my personality and I'm a personality for a living. And so my best work is done literally. I have chug a coffee and that's like my version of ADD medicine that like is sane. Like chug like literally like chug it. Like it has to be gone. And then I like sit down and that's when I like grind because I have that like moment of

energy and like fresh and like living in LA. It's like it's sunny and you're like let's do this. So I have like a two hour window where I can like get shit done. Do you know what that's called? What? Deep work. Really? Mm-hmm.

There's a book about it about deep work. Okay. It's like, Cal Newport. That's really interesting. But like that's like my window because then it like I have ADD like it's hard and you know, we're on our own bosses and I'm not like sitting at a desk.

And then I kind of like trickle off and I get some things done. And it's the weirdest thing ever and I've been doing it for almost a year now. And I joke around with my boyfriend. I work in my sleep. And I'm not kidding you. It sounds so dumb. I know exactly what you're talking about. And I have,

I'm literally selling like three shows right now that I've created in. in my sleep. So I'll be, I do the thing where, you know, if I'm thinking of stuff, when I'm falling asleep, I'll wake up really quick and I write it down in my phone or else I'll completely forget it. But I was staying in New York with my assistant and I didn't want her to think that, like, I was having trouble sleeping. So I was like, just like laying there, like thinking like half asleep, like thinking of all these things and all these ideas. And I woke up the next morning and I was like, I thought of a new show. I decided all these emails I want to send it. Like, was literally just working in my sleep until I fell asleep and had to like go in the morning and

like write everything down. So I like literally. work morning and night and then there's that area in the middle where I'm like on Instagram like editing photos and like just stalking people and like getting absolutely nothing done but I think it's much more I mean people you know they think they need to work these long long days it's I think it's much more important to take to be completely dedicated to that one task that you're doing for what is it like maybe an hour or two hours whatever it is you get much more done in that short amount of time than like okay I'm going to work for eight hours and spread it out the whole day like people people don't understand that's how I work too I like to batch things

By the way, I know exactly what you're talking about working in your sleep. Like, it's almost like a meditation. You're asleep, but you're awake kind of. But you start getting better, like, more clear ideas. Maybe it's because I'm like relaxed or something. But it's weird. I just think so much better. And I have so much more things just come to me naturally that I don't know.

And I feel like there's this thing going on now where we share our lives and like Instagram and stuff. And it's so easy to compare yourself where you see someone who's like, already worked out. And they're like, girl, I always do the joke with my agents of like the girls that have the scripts. and they're like, and it's like you can't really see what it's for because we don't know what project you're auditioning for. But it's like, it's like, oh, so much to do.

And I'm like, oh, my God, you're an actress. Like, congratulations, you got an audition. Like, cool. And it's like, it still puts that pet in your stomach of like, oh, I should be doing more. I should be doing more. And so I'm like being more open about like, yeah, there's a few hours of the day where I just literally sit on my couch and I scroll through Instagram. Like, you're editing photos or engaging.

Yeah. It's kind of weird, like, what we do too. Like I always work in an Uber. That's like my thing. I always want like, I'm like if I just was rich enough to have a driver so I could just work in traffic, that would be the most amazing thing ever. I think I want to get rid of my car after and get a driver because I feel like I can get so much work done. While you're driving. Yeah, Taylor could be my driver or something creepy.

I don't know if you want to drive around with him all the time. But no, I think I also think it's important for people to remember like you have to do what works for you and what you want to do. Right. Like, you know, you'll see all these people going crazy and doing all this work. because if you don't like that lifestyle and you don't want to do it, then don't do it. Like, you don't need to do things that everybody else is doing. Well, that's like the daily rituals, too. I was reading Fast Company two months ago.

It was the, like, not ritual issue, but it was something like that. And it was taking these like 10 super successful people in different place and field. And it said, it asks them like, what are you doing at 7 a.m.? What do you eat for lunch? What do you do this? And like, one page is like, I only get four hours of sleep. And like, I work at this early in the morning. And you're like, oh, God.

And then you go to the next page. It's like, I sleep till 12 p.m. or like, like, whatever. And so it like kind of eases you of like, okay, everyone has their own way of doing it and all you just had to find what works for you. The common ground is that they all beat to the tune of their own drum and don't listen to what society tells. To me, that's the common ground. People will message us sometimes be like, oh, how are you guys running around? I'm like, listen, like, I know a lot of people that, like, I know some very, very successful people that are not doing that, that are just, you know, you have to do your own thing.

The biggest thing in this podcast is I don't want people to take our formula or your formula and think that they have to apply it to their life. It's like you take elements, like maybe. something that you do works for me and something that Lauren does work for me. And you kind of mess your own thing together. Right. If you're just saying, okay, I'm going to take Lauren's thing and I'm going to do that exact thing. I'm going to run into a lot of trouble. Yeah. And it's almost like, it's once someone's thing is done, it's done. And like the universe is like, okay, it worked for that person. Like now I get to do something else. And that's why when people are like, how do you get successful on YouTube? I'm like, I don't know. Like it just like there's things that I think

that I could definitely say contributed and like have good tips and advice and like could mentor someone. but it's not like you do this, this and this and this and you're set. And I think a lot of YouTubers are now trying to capitalize this and take advantage of it and saying if you do this, this, this and this, you're set. And you just see a bunch of videos that are the exact same piece of content. I mean, it definitely has to do with a lot of talent. You have a lot of talent. It sounds like you have a lot of consistency.

It sounds like you're a hustler. It sounds like you're a work. I mean, there's so many different things for the recipe. There's like components. Yeah, definitely. So what's some bad advice or some mistakes you see new, like let's say, I don't want to just say YouTubers, but content creators making. Like, what's bad advice you hear or mistakes you see being made that are, that you can

kind of quantify and say, okay, that's consistent enough to really be a mistake that I see all the time? Or some bad advice that you hear all the time. You're like, no, that's not, that's not good. I think it's, I think I would probably relate that more to stuff like clickbait. Just do it like shocking things. Even my boyfriend and I were talking last week. I was like, yeah, we should film something together.

It's been a while and like we can do something cute. He was like, yeah, let's do something raunchy. And I was like, what? I was like, why do we need to do something wrongy? raunchy. Like we can make content that's good and gets clicks without being like raunchy. And so I think that's like the biggest thing of advice right now is people are like, do something crazy. Like shocking. Yeah, like go out and prank this person and take your top off and make sure your thumbnail has looks like your tits are out. And it's just like,

what is going on? And so it's just, it's stuff like that. Like it's sad because it does better. Like it really does. It gets the clicks and it gets the views, but there's no longevity there at all. So if you're going to spend your time and invest your time to something, don't just invest it into like a quick fix if you really want to do it for the long run. Well, what I like about you too is you take a stance. And I think I've always said 2018 is like the year of taking a stance on something that's important to you. It's not just about creating content and documenting. Right. You talk about anxiety, depression on your platform, which I find really, really powerful.

How did you kind of do that in a way where you're comfortable to open up to your audience and make it? because to me it seems like your audience responds really well. Yeah. How did you kind of create that back and forth with them? I think it was since I did start making content in high school and then had just been dealing with so much stuff, I felt this like, you know, pressure to be perfect. And then once I started getting a following, I had this like pit in my stomach that there were all these people looking up to me and that they thought I had to, they had to be like

me and they didn't even really know the whole story. And so I think I just got so passionate about like. like, you know, letting people know that it's not all what it looks like. Like, it is smoking mirrors or whatever. And I thought, you know, if my story could help a few people or whatever, like, you know, we always say, if I could touch one person's life, it's all worth it. But it was like, if I was like, okay, if I can just at least show people that I'm not perfect and I guarantee you no one else you're watching is.

And I just also felt like I couldn't really make content. Like I'm someone who's so authentically myself that it's really hard as much. as I love acting and stuff, that's like being a different character and a different person. When I'm acting as myself, there is a level where I just think it becomes fake. And so if I'm like struggling through all these things and pretending to be perfect, that's like mentally exhausting and draining and even more depressing. And so I felt that it would be more, it would be more beneficial to myself and to my audience if I just opened up about who I really was.

And it's just always been something that people respond to. And I honestly haven't touched on it in like a couple years. just because I've been so busy and just doing so many things and like struggling, you know, on and off just off camera. And so I just randomly decided to like post about it on Instagram last week. And it was like, it just blew up like DMs, DMs. I was like, whoa. And I just made me realize that's one of the, I think the biggest blessings I have from my platform

is to like start a conversation about that. And I get so upset when, you know, other things are happening in the world. And it's like whenever people talk about gun control, I'm just like, can we talk about the fact that like mental illness is like, the biggest part of this too. Like, there's no one that's mentally sane buying these guns. Like, yeah, the gun clean rules is a whole thing.

But like, can we talk about how there's no one getting help growing up, like with mental illness? And so it's just something I think I'm so passionate about and that I, since I struggle with it, I don't like being fake. So it just all kind of comes together.

And when I got that response last week, I was like, okay, I need to sit down and film a video about this. So was this about anxiety and depression or just mental illness? Yeah. Well, I think it goes about both. Like,

there's definitely like the bigger picture of mental illness in general. I like speak to and then I like use my example of like I've struggled with depression and not more so my adult life anxiety and I did a five facts about me and I was like oh fact number five like I take anxiety medication every day and like that's a thing that has like such a stigma and I just felt like you know like there's a fact about me like you see this crazy do to do girl and like you have no idea that like I literally am on like medication 24-7 that's like a weird little fact that like might make you feel better if you are too and people like responded so crazy to it like in a good way

And we're just so surprised. I had no idea. Like, that makes me feel so much better because I always looked to you and thought you were perfect and felt bad that I took medicine. And now knowing that you do, I feel so much better. Like stuff like that. And that's like the most rewarding part about everything is being able to start a conversation and impact people's lives like that.

And I think that's what the content creators that our personalities are more drawn to is like sharing their story and helping other people. I have some notes and I want to do a podcast soon basically all about anxiety. but while I have you here, what have you founders or tools you've developed to help you combat anxiety? I think that it's definitely an everyday thing. And my biggest thing was when I finally went out and sought help and met with a therapist and learned, she gave me like literally a packet and like just taught me about why my brain was doing these things because you're in your head and you just, you feel crazy and you're like, what's going on?

And like you're listening to the voices and there's just everything and you don't know what to think. and when you have someone who you know is a professional, not just a friend or a parent or teacher, when you're sitting with someone who is a professional in their field about that, that gives you just like literature about here's how your brain works. When this happened, your brain triggers this. When this happens, it allows you to think that you go, oh, wait, it's not even my fault. Like, my brain's just doing this thing. And I'm not as crazy as I thought. And if I learn how my brain works, I can stop it before it gets too out of control. So I think educating myself with the help of a professional,

got me to the point where even though I have like bad days and have other little tricks and stuff, that the bigger picture is much more clear. Whereas like there was a point where I was so anxious, I just thought it was like, I was like, I'm about to be depressed because I know what depression feels like and I'm so anxious. I can't even live my everyday life anymore. I'm approaching depression. And that's when I like went and sought help. And I think the medicine in conjunction with that, because I even went through the struggle

of a year of like going on the medication, feeling so good. and then being like, oh, well, then I don't need it anymore. And then it would like be that. And so then finally the doctor was like, oh, so you figured out that the reason you feel good is because of the medicine. So you're going to keep taking it now? I was like, yeah. It's like, that makes sense. Tim Ferriss says that the way he combats anxiety is to prevent it before it happens.

So that's the way I've really, really been able to deal with anxiety is I do things like cupping. Cupping really helps me. It's so much relief for me. I know that sounds really weird. but I do things like that to kind of like help it before it even happens. Right. Preventative measures. Yeah.

I have anxiety too about something that you said about having like your DMs and all these people asking you questions. You want to get to everything and you want to make sure that you're serving your community in the right way. How do you manage all of that? I mean, for me, it makes me anxious to open something and feel like I can't respond to everything. I think taking the only thing that I think that I've done to be able to cope with it is like

taking a bigger stance, like seeing all those DMs, my first thought was, you know, reading them, this is great. Now I need to make a video about it because there's so many people that I can't go through and message everyone, but I know if these people, if I upload a video, those people will go watch it. And like making that a part of the story being like, I saw your DMs, this is how I feel about them and addressing it like on a bigger platter because it also comes with a thing like this DMs also are the same as like friends or like I was literally at a 16 year old's birthday party day and I like sense this girl's energy from across the table and I was like is she okay like she's so cute she's wearing a cute little outfit and I feel like she's depressed and the girl was like

oh my god wait no she is like you should say something and so I let her know I was just like hey like if you ever need anything like you know she has my number like I feel like you're like you're off or whatever I'm like not trying to like embarrass you in front of your friends but like whatever just pulled her aside and then the girl texted me later she's like you made my day like da-da-da And then in that moment, I realized, okay, this is the time where I did that. And I'm not a doctor. I'm not her mom. And I'm not even her best friend.

Like, there is a point where I have to just, like, detach myself a little bit because I can't save this girl's life. Like, I can't, I can be there for her in, like, a way of, like, a mentor or, like, a long sister. And so it's, like, having those guidelines in your own head because I just want to fix everyone and help everyone. And I think I, like, take too much on and, like, forget about myself a lot. so having to like say it in my head like okay be careful with how you craft this response because

you don't want to like over commit yourself to someone because you can't do that with everyone especially like a random girl I saw at a brunch that I was like there's something wrong with her like someone needs to help her and everyone being like what oh wait you're right you take on other people's energy yeah I'm fully in the camp that's like before you can save everyone you have to like save yourself and then save your neighbor first like you can't I think people do this whole like especially now a lot of not to get political with all these political movements is like like we're going to change the world. We're going to save everyone. It's like, well, first, like, the best step you can take as individuals is like, okay,

like take care of yourself and then the people like directly around you because those are the people you're going to be able to directly impact in yourself as well. It's like it's a really big leap to change the world. But if everybody started saying, okay, listen, like I can work on myself and then the people around me directly. Like you can start having real impact. I have a big problem with the fact that for six years I returned every single DM. Like I would, every morning I would wake up for an hour and do it and every night I would do two hours of it and I would return every email and every and now it's like I if I if I did that I literally don't I wouldn't be able to live right so I'm having like trouble like you know stepping out of that but that's really good at

people understand that as long as you have a conversation about it yeah I think it's like having an open conversation about it and it's still engaging like I'll pick like two and then I'll post about oh my god all of you guys or da da da and just and it's harder I've actually been thinking this like I really hate the, I really hope that somehow Instagram changes a little bit because on Twitter you can go through just favor it. You know, it's like favorite and like just give them the satisfaction of like, I see you, I hear you, whatever. And you don't have to actually reply and it's so much quicker.

And on Instagram, it's like you have to go to like the 99 plus requests messages and then you have to go to them and then you have to open it because you can't even see it. And then you can't even heart it unless you allow it. And then it's in your inbox. And it's like this whole thing. And I'm like, I can't do it. It's too much in the comment. and like you just and and I'm not complaining about it.

I'm so grateful. I just feel like I want to, I want to give energy to everyone. Exactly. Yeah. But that's a good advice to just film a video and just say a lot of you guys have asked me. I like that. Okay, let's talk about what you're doing, your jewelry company,

you're acting like what's next for you. What's in the works? Give us the scoop. Just a lot of stuff, honestly. There's quite a few things I can't talk about yet that are happening around like fall 2018 that are really, really just like huge, big steps for me. A lot of stuff I always say that's going to be tangible is like my only cute clue. I've never really like sold anything besides my jewelry line, which was an amazing collaboration with majority.

We have a few more restocks and it like it sells out every single time. So I'm hoping everyone that's wanted to get it has had the opportunity or will by. You're wearing it right now. I'm wearing. Which one? I'm actually not. I'm wearing the earrings. You're wearing the earrings.

So cute. They're all the starburst. And it's just a fantastic company. And so that was such a good experience for me that like this year I'm really want to be able to like have my own stuff. So what that is, yeah, I can't say. But what I created, I relaunched my website, and I took all last year doing it, it took forever. But I just wanted to, like, create that community again. Like, I missed writing and I missed having a hub.

And, like, I do so much all the time that it's all on these different platforms. I wanted a place to bring everything together. And then if I am selling stuff or whatever, there's going to be that tab or whatever. And really just building this, like, lifestyle, community brand, whatever, is really important to me this year. while in conjunction with stuff like producing a bunch of stuff right now and going to be acting in a bunch more stuff. I filmed a movie last year that hopefully comes out this year and just doing the typical actor audition process.

I'm lucky enough to be able to go on auditions and not have to go work at the bar, the waitress later. I get to go home and work on Instagram and YouTube and stuff. So it's always balancing both of those things. But I think that this year will be hopefully an elevated version of last year. And where can everyone find you? if they want to follow you on YouTube, Instagram,

everything. Just Lauren Elizabeth on everything, at Lauren Elizabeth, and then lovelornelisbeth.com. But you're Lauren with an E. Yeah. At Lauren. You're the only Lauren I know with a Y.

Don't say I'm a Lauren with an E. Everyone's born with an E. She changed it in sixth grade, I remember. No, you didn't. Yeah, I changed it in six grade. It was an E. And then she said, I'm changing it.

And like, made her dad, like, go and like change in everything. Yeah. What? Yeah, I changed it in sixth grade. Oh, my God. I was, I was,

I was, it was content. marketing for my blog. That's pretty extra if you think about it. Like to go to your parents at that age, make, listen, I need to change one of these. Yeah, it's not even like I need to change my name. Like, I want to change this one letter. Yep. Yep. Very specific. Oh my God. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. We have to come back. Congratulations with everything you're doing. Thank you so much. Wait, just a few things before you guys take off. Do you want a super short girly email for me? Tipsy Thursday is a quick email with lots of value as always.

that includes five tips from me, my favorite song of the week, show, book, wellness, tip, random tricks, and a bunch of beauty tips. It's kind of everything in one. It's super short, kind of like a skinny confidential appartee for you. To check it out, just go to the skinny confidential.com and click Lauren Everett's. Then just press subscribe, drop your email in, and you're good to go. Secondly, give away time, as always, to win the skinny confidential meal plan, simply tell me your favorite part of this episode on my latest Instagram. And I, As always, if you write and review the podcast, please screenshot it, email it to Ask Lauren at the skinny confidential.com, and we will send you my top beauty hacks straight to your inbox,

lots of beauty secrets. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your attention, and we will see you next Tuesday. This episode was brought to you by Match.com. It's hard out there on the internet, guys, but Match.com is making the situation so much easier. Match.com is the number one in first and second dates, leading to more dates, relationships, and marriages than any other app or site. If you're single and ready to mingle,

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