The Bossticks - #125: Boob Job Recovery & Resilience with Lori Harder - Surgery Recovery Supplements, Wellness Practices, Overcoming Resistance & Seeking Out Healthy Relationships

Episode Date: July 24, 2018

On this episode Lauryn sits down and describes her recovery process after her surgery. Lauryn provides insight into what products, tools, and resources she is using during her recovery. This episode is for anyone going through a surgical recovery process but primarily focuses on boob jobs and inflammation. We also sit down with Lori Harder who is a leader in the field of fitness, transformational work, & self love. Lori is also an author, model, and three time fitness world champion as well as the host of the find your happy podcast with Lori harder. To connect with Lori Harder click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by OMAX. We love OMAX, As you guys know we are huge Omega 3 fans and OMAX3 has some of the purest Omega 3 supplements on the market. Over 75% of Americans Don't get enough Omega 3 in their diet. Omega 3's help improve mental focus, memory and cardiovascular health. Omega 3's also alleviate joint pain and muscle health. OMAX3 is clinically tested and they do what's called a freezer test challenge to verify that each supplement is pure. To try OMAX3 and receive a free box with purchase go to www.tryomax.com/skinny This episode is brought to you by FOUR SIGMATIC We have been drinking this company's mushroom-infused elixirs and coffees for over a year now. When we need a break from coffee but still need that extra morning jolt and focus the Mushroom Coffee with Lion's Mane and Chaga is the way to go. Lauryn also drinks the Mushroom Matcha which is a green tea designed as a coffee alternative for those of you who want to cut back on caffeine without losing focus and cognitive boosts. This stuff doesn't actually taste like mushrooms, it's delicious. All of these blends have a ton of nutrients and amino acids to give you balanced energy without the jitters. To try FOUR SIGMATIC products go to foursigmatic.com/skinny and use promo code SKINNY for 15% off all products. 

The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by For Sigma. One of our favorite companies, we interviewed Taro, the founder on the show, a couple weeks back, and had to bring the brand on board as a partner. For Sigmaics, specializes in superfoods, medicinal mushrooms and adaptogenic herbs. And they make drinking mushrooms and superfoods delicious and easy to with their mushroom coffees. I'm actually on the lion's main focus right now.

Mushroom superfood blends and mushroom elixirs are the way to go. If you're looking for a coffee alternative switch up your caffeine intake, 4Sigmatic has the blends for you. They're all delicious. Just open a pack and add to hot water. They don't taste like mushrooms and like always, we have a special offer just for him and her listeners. Go to 4Sigmatic.com forward slash skinny and enter promo code Skinny at checkout for 15% off your entire order. This episode is also brought to you by OMAX. We love OMAX. As you guys know, we are huge Omega-3 fans and OMAX3 has some of the purest omega-3 supplements on the market. Over 75% of Americans don't get enough omega-3 in their diet, and there's a strong chance that you could be one of them if you aren't taking OMAX-3.

Omega-3s help to improve mental focus, memory, and cardiovascular health, all of which we all need. Omega-3s also alleviate joint pain and muscle health. There are a lot of bad omega-3 supplements on the market, and we've vetted this one a ton before recommending it. OMAX-3 is clinically tested, and they do what's called a freezer test challenge to verify that each supplement is pure. So if you ever put your omega-3s in the freezer and they don't stay pure, you know you might have a bad one. So to try omax, go to tryomax.com slash skinny to get a free box of OMAX3 ultra-peer with your first purchase. It's kind of a buy one, get one free deal with over $100 worth of value. That's tryomax.com slash skinny to get your free box of OMAX3 with your first purchase.

Tryomax.com slash skinny. Terms and conditions do apply. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness.

Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. What I did, I started adding people into my life who were a positive tribe, who were people where I wanted to go, right? So even if I didn't quite feel like I fit in there yet, even if I didn't feel like I was quite worthy necessarily of this tribe of where I wanted to go yet or I was the person that could withhold this tribe. What I started to do is really build friends in the areas that I wanted to go because what happens is if you don't have these people pulling you over here in the area that you want to go, you're going to go back to the one where you received love because at the end

of the day, it's all about love. It doesn't matter the quality of love. If you're not getting any love anywhere else, you'll go back to a shitty quality of love, right? Hey guys. What's up? Tuesday. Welcome back to the skinny confidential, him and her show. If you're new to the show, what's up? Thanks for joining. That clip was from our guest of the show today, Lori Harder. For those of you who are new, I'm Lauren Everts. I'm the creator of the skinny confidential and a proud owner of new boobs. That's right. Last Wednesday, I got a boob job. We'll get into it, but first, I'll let my excited husband say hi. And I'm Michael Bostic, and I am kind of in a way also a new proud owner of boobs as well, right? Okay, Michael. Whatever floats your boat.

mine. Is that what they say? I'm an entrepreneur and business operator specialized in brand building and direct to consumer marketing over the last 10 years. Recently, the CEO of a podcast network that I co-founded called Dear Media, which showcases female voices and shows. Welcome back, everyone. A couple of announcements to make Lauren before you get into your boob job recovery. We mentioned this last week. We have a new podcast site with all the show notes, past shows, upcoming news, resources, et cetera, it's just if you go to tscpodcast.com or if you're on the skinny confidential and click podcast, it'll take you there as well. It's a really great resource. It took us a long time to develop it. So check it out. Also, as you guys know, this is another

week, or some of you know, this is another week where we'll be releasing two episodes, obviously the Tuesday episode, which we release every week. And now this week there'll be a Thursday episode because we're doing a Thursday episode every other week. We did one two weeks back. So be sure to check those out and look for them because, You can miss them now with the new schedule. I know it's a little bit of an adjustment for everybody, but every other Thursday there is a new episode as well as the constant every Tuesday episode. So check those out.

Lauren, what's new in Boob Town? All right, let's get into my boobs, my breast dog. So if you follow me on Instagram or Instagram stories at the Skinny Confidential, I got my boobs done on Wednesday. I got them done by Dr. Barrett and Beverly Hills. I definitely researched him a lot. and I'm going to do a blog post and podcast on why I chose him and we'll get into all that. But in the meantime, I wanted to talk to you guys about the recovery and what I'm doing.

Can you let us all know why you redid them? Yes, that's a good question. I actually don't have that in my notes. I redid them because I've had them for 10 years, okay? And the right one was bottoming out a little bit. And if I had just let it wait, it would have bottomed out, bottomed out, bottomed out and potentially popped. And we don't want that like happening when I'm traveling.

It's like remodeling the roof on your house. Kind of. It doesn't leak. Yeah. I just, it was, it was really preventative of me and proactive as opposed to reactive. I can be kind of reactive at times. So I was trying not to live in chaos and just fix the issue before it got worse. And it was time.

It was 10 years, you know, they got to go. I am actually getting my old implants framed for Michael's office. That's cool. I'm pumped on that. He'll be able to look at them every day. And these ones are ones that have never been touched by another guy. What? The other ones were? Yeah, the other ones were. Sorry, babe. Give me their names, their addresses. Okay, you're too tired. All right, let's get into my recovery. So, um, watermelon juice. Okay,

let's start off with that. That is my main request. I get it from a local juice store and I get it because it's not acidic. So I like to add a ton of lime to this. I request it on postmates. I'm very specific and annoying. Um, and lime is acidic, but it turns alkaline in the body, which is why I like it. So I do watermelon, a little lime. and then I add some mint. So I've been chugging that like a sorority sister chugs jungle juice at a frat mixer. Michael, you have experience on that. I remember that jungle juice.

I'm sure you do. But it was mostly me chugging it. So if you're going to eat it, you want to go for the juicy red flesh at the center of the watermelon. This is if you're recovering from surgery or you're trying to fight inflammation. All these tips are great for anyone, like I said, who's recovering or just fighting bloat. So watermelon is really, really good for blood flow. It's an anti-inflammatory, which is perfect for after surgery, and it has tons of vitamins and minerals.

If you don't like watermelon, you guys, do pineapple juice or green juice. I've been doing a lot of pineapple juice, a lot of pineapple pieces. Pineapple also makes you smell good in other areas. If you don't like watermelon juice. I don't think you're going anywhere near me right now. Who doesn't like watermelon juice? But, okay. Yeah, maybe some people don't.

Or you can do like a green juice. I've been doing a lot of plain celery juice because it's really good for digestion. again, those three juices are awesome for after surgery. So then I've also been doing a lot of electrolytes. This shouldn't surprise anyone, right? Electrolites, you need them. They're great for post-surgery. So the electrolytes I like are liquid IV powder. Okay, I like it in my water, hydroflask with ice, if I'm being specific. I really, really like it when Michael makes it for me. It just makes it that much better. So try to find someone who can do it for you. And then I like a good. good raw coconut water. The one that I like specifically is called harmless harvest. Is that right,

honey? Yes. And I like to get the pink one. And you know it's weird about those harmless harvest. If everyone else knows what those are. They used to say if you got a pink one, it was special. And now I feel like all of them are pink. Someone was explained to me why. But I feel like there's there's a fix in there. So I want to harmless harvest, get in touch with me. Let me know why they're all pink now. Because some of them used to be clear. Anyway, Michael's been talking about this all weekend. I still love it though. Anyone knows. I'm obsessed with harmless harvest. Hydration is obviously key when you're recovering from anything and when you're inflamed. And I know all this because of my jaw surgery. So my tips are very fucking specific. I know about inflammation. I've dealt with inflammation

for the last 10 years of my life, whether it's from bloat or from my jaw surgery or from my other boob drop. I know about inflammation, guys. This is something that unfortunately I feel like I have my PhD in inflammation. Anyways, so look for harmless harvest if you want to fight bloat and get electrolytes and antioxidants. Okay. Since I'm on antibiotics right now, you always want a probiotic to balance this out. And whenever I'm on antibiotics, I really up my probiotic intake. Okay. So if you're looking for a specific probiotic, just Google the skinny confidential probiotics. But if you want something to coat your stomach and add to your smoothie, check out the coconut colt. Oh my God, okay? This probiotic smoothie I make, you just add this coconut cold yogurt into it. It's like the

best yogurt ever and it's just filled with all this goodness and probiotics. And it sort of makes your smoothie taste kind of sweet in a way, but not overly sweet because there's no added sugar. Anyway, like I said, when I take an antibiotic, you can always expect a probiotic. And I'm really happy because Michael's on the probiotic train too. All right, switching gears. We're going to talk about something that you guys have seen on my Instagram story a lot, and that is mushroom powder. This is my main bitch, guys. It's my magic. secret mushroom powder. The mushroom powder that I use is from one of my favorite companies. They have a medley of powders that I like and it's called four-sigmatic. Four-sigmatic specializes in

superfoods and medicinal mushrooms. And they make drinking mushrooms and superfoods delicious and easy to do with their mushroom coffees, their mushroom super blends, and their mushroom elixirs. But there's one specifically, okay, that I like for recovery and inflammation. And this is one that I've waited to talk about until after surgery. I've been using it for a while, taking it in my coffee, taking it in my tea, but I really wanted to pimp it out after my recovery. I knew I would be drinking it in the morning and at night, and that is because it is filled with turmeric, okay? Tumaract fights inflammation like no other. I can tell you this again because of my jaw surgery. My jaw was inflamed, my boobs are now inflamed, things are inflamed. And their golden milk powder

really, really is the key to help fighting inflammation. It is filled with turmeric, like I said. Okay, they have this one. It's this little yellow packet. I mix it in hot water or make Michael mix it. Today I made you mix it twice. It's this lightly sweet and dairy-free golden latte with chitaki and turmeric. And you're going to get all the benefits of chitaki. Shataki is really beautifying from the inside out and then you get this glow with within and that is fighting the inflammation. If you want to know what else is in it, there's some warming ginger, a pinch of black pepper to support turmeric's skin-loving properties and just tons of goodness. It's literally perfect. I honestly couldn't be more obsessed. I've been drinking it on my pink bed tray

every night. Like I said, you can do it in the morning, you can do it at night. I have been having it every single day since I've been recovering. I think a lot of us fight inflammation and bloat in the stomach daily. It's a little gem that you can drink while you're watching Southern Charm in bed, perhaps eating a little bit of watermelon jerky. Not saying that I haven't done that, but I have. Anyway, it's something I want to add to the Skinny Confidential Master List. It's a standout star. So try it.

You guys will be hooked. If you're more of a chocolate person, try their spicy cacao. I'm obsessed with both. You'll love them. All right. So we have a special offer just for him and her listeners. Go to 4Sigmatic.com forward slash skinny and in our promo code Skinny at checkout for 15% off your entire order.

And make sure you get that golden latte. Okay. again that's foursigmatic.com slash skinny for 15% off your entire order. All right, other recovery hacks. Okay. I listed these out. I'm going to explain each one. Michael's tapping his watch. I'll make it quick. So the first thing is tons of water, obviously. I mean, this is, this is like everyone knows this, right? But here's my hack, a hydro flask. Okay. I've been putting it in my hydro flask. And if you're going to get one, get the white one. There's just something about it. I'll add it to my Amazon. on store. I get the 32 ounce one and the hydroflask has literally saved my life after surgery.

I got the one that has the cap with the straw. Don't get the other one. Get the cap with the straw because you can drink water so easily. I'm going through like five liters of water a day. Ask Michael. Have you ever seen anything like it? And apparently, um, boob job surgery makes it impossible to fill a water bottle. Yeah, it does because I have to lift my arms and it's heavy. Okay. Everyone go comment on Michael's Instagram that I need. No, please don't. I got it. I got it. I got it. I'm taking care of her. You're going to make me carry a water bottle. No, it's fine. All right. See how you're going to pay. I'm going to get eaten alive. All right. Anyways, so get a hydroflask. Get the white one. Get the cap with the straw. Keep it specific. And you will double your water intake.

Okay. Chest massage. So I can't actually massage my boobs yet. So I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to step in. I'll take one for the team, everybody. Sure you will. You've been trying to peek out of your peripheral all week. I can't massage my boobs. And when you get a boob drop, it's really important that after you see your doctor for your first appointment that you massage your tits. Okay, probably going to use like a coconut oil and massage them, maybe some woo, after I get the doctor's orders that I can massage them. But for now, I'm just doing super light lymphatic drainage with my own hands or my facial massager on my upper chest. So not my boobs, just my upper chest. And that's just getting the circulation moving and sort of flushing

the toxins down and hopefully the anesthesia out of my system and into my pee. A little TMI, but that's what lymphatic drainage is. It goes out into your pee, not your poo, your pee. Speaking of poo, smooth-moved tea, okay? Smooth-moved tea is awesome if you are on pills after surgery or if you just want to go to the bathroom. I like it because you just throw it in hot water. It's super easy and it gets the job done. If smooth move tea doesn't work, it does for me always. Use milk of magnesium.

And you can get that at Rite Aid. Just use it at night and it'll get everything going. Very specific about my atmosphere. So you're not surprised that I use Settle Down Spray by K-Poor. You see it all the time on my Instagram stories. I like to spray that all over my silk pillow. I'm using night pillows right now and loving them. They're awesome for post-surgery.

And I just spray the settle down spray all over my pillow. And then I'm diffusing lavender oils. You can read about that on the skinny confidential. And guys, this is obviously a lot, but it's not a lot if you have the tools ready to go. And you just implement it into your day-to-day. These are little tiny things that make all the difference. Again, this is more self-care. If you haven't heard my self-care episode, go listen to it because it explains why I like to add

all these little things into my day that really fluff the day and make it festive. I also got a service bell. It's pink. Michael, how you liking that? It's a real pain in the ass. Oh, come on. You don't love it? No, I mean, because our house is not so big that might need a bell.

Like, you could just yell my name. I've yelled a couple of times, and you haven't heard. You've conveniently not heard because you can't wait till the next time I'm sick. You've been listening to Howard Stern in your headphones. And today Michael told me that he was tired. So there's that. I'm four days post-off and you're tired. Do you want me to rub your feet?

I'm tired for doing all your dirty work. All right, Michael. So a service bell, get one. It's on Amazon. It's $2.99. How much is that hotel again to go recovering? Michael. It's linked.

Pearl Recovery Center is insane. If anyone's looking for a place to recover, I'm obsessed of it. Service bell is so necessary if you're sick or you're having surgery or if you just want to be obnoxious in general. Okay. let's talk about vitamins, okay? I am taking a multivitamin right now, a little grape seed extract, some milk thistle,

and a very, very good omega-3. All of these things are known to rid anesthesia out of your system. That's how you say it, right? Anesthesia, honey? Yes. Okay, so as you guys know, we are huge omega-3 fans, and OMAX-3 has some of the purest omega supplements on the market, and that has been ideal for post-surgery. This is another post-surgery gem for you.

To reduce inflammation, you take 2,000 to 3,000 milligrams of omega-3 fish oil per day for two weeks after surgery and then continue it if you want to help fight inflammation and bloat. You should also know that omega-3 helps with pain, which is obviously vital to surgery recovery. Here's a crazy fact for you. If you're on the fence at all with omega-3s, over 75% of Americans don't get enough omega-3 in their diet. yikes. Whoa. Whoa. So not only do omega-3 help with inflammation and post-surgery pain, omega-3s also help to improve your mental focus, memory, and cardiovascular health. Michael, you need this definitely. I've been taking it every day and I actually am sharp as a whistle damn it. Whistle isn't sharp. But I'm sharp as a razor. When you're waiting on me,

omega-3s also help alleviate joint pain and muscle health. So there's a lot of bad omega-3 supplements on the market and Michael and I really vetted this one before recommending it to you guys. We tried it for a month. Um, OMAX just doesn't joke around when it comes to bringing you guys the most pure fish oil there is on the market. Okay, so I know you guys all want to try it. So go to try omax.com slash skinny today to get a free box of OMAX 3 ultrapeer with your first purchase. It's a buy one, get one free deal worth over $100. That's tryomax.com slash skinny to get your free box of OMAX3. with purchase. That's try omax.com slash skinny. T-R-Y-O-M-A-X.com slash skinny. Terms and conditions apply. Okay, like I said, I love an omega-3. This one doesn't give you any fish burp, so it's not nasty.

This is the one that I recommend. I'm putting my stamp of approval on it, so let me know what you guys think. All right, let's switch gears to my pink bed tray. Okay? I have a pink bed tray, and it's so efficient when you're not feeling good or just when you want to, lay in bed and eat a hamburger and watch TV, which is one of my favorite things to do. Anyway, I found it off Amazon. It's this light pink bed tray, and I have been using it my whole recovery. I will link it in the show notes. On that bed tray, I have Arnica pellets. This was highly recommended by you guys. I had an Instagram asking you guys for recovery tips, and all of you said Arnica. So I got my pellets. I sent Michael out to find him. He couldn't find him five times.

Finally, he found him. Thank God. And I also have on that bed tray a good book. I just picked up private parts by Howard Stern. And Michael's smiling because he wants to read it too. We can share. I thought you got it for me. I did, but that's what I'll be reading. Have you seen the movie? I've seen half the movie. I feel like I need to rewatch it. We're having a real Howard Stern moment. So I've been having a Howard Stern moment for years. Okay. Well, we are both reading the book. You also want to have a good show when you're recovering. I am watching nurse Jackie, which probably isn't the best show to watch when you're recovering from surgery, but it's working for me. I love it. I feel like it's light with also being

a little bit dramatic and chaotic. I've been in and out of it. Kind of describes my personality. It's so good. You've been in and out of it. I love it. I really, really recommend it. It's a good show. I'm reading Lincoln and the Bardo. Okay. Well, you go read your... It's a good book. Fiction book. Check it out, guys. Okay. You're high level shit. I'm watching fucking nurse Jackie and reading Howard It's fiction. Okay. I also am watching Southern Charm. So those are the two shows that I'm watching and they take my mind off any kind of soreness.

I'm not in pain. It's more of like a soreness. It's not too bad. I also would highly recommend noise canceling headphones if you're going through any kind of recovery or just in general. I love them. I travel with them. I wear them when Michael's annoying me. You can't hear anything.

They're great for listening to podcasts and meditation music. You also want to find someone to boss around, okay? get specific about who you're going to pick. Vat them before you decide on them. Manipulate them before you start their services. Okay, find someone good. I am also drinking a lot of blood orange iced tea. I'm having this huge moment with it. I just left it on my Instagram stories. It's so refreshing. There's no calories, no carbs. I put it over ice. Add a little bit of lemon. It's delicious. When you're recovering or you're trying to fight bloater information, you also want to stay away from shitty foods. Eat lots of spinach, kale, soup, avocado, anything that's easy.

on the digestion. My friend Sahara told me this. She's an Aruvadic specialist. And I've shut my email off for a minute. I probably shouldn't be working at the second Michael Bostic. I told you we should have batch some of these intros. I didn't batch it right. I'm just sipping my smooth move tea and drinking out of my hydroflask. Also vital to recovery, dogs. I feel like Boone's being a little standoffish. Have you noticed that? He doesn't like when you're sick. He doesn't like when I'm sick. Pixie, on the other hand, really steps up to the plate. That sounds like you and me. Yeah, women are better caretakers.

Okay. Well, I think. So those are my recovery tips. Those are also tips if you feel inflamed a lot. And with that, it's time to get into the show with Lori. You can expect my sergeant, Dr. Barrett, on the podcast soon and a YouTube recap. And head over to the Skinny Confidential because there should be a blog post up on boobs. And now for Lori Harder.

Lori Harder is a leader in the field of fitness, Transformational, self-love and mindfulness. She has grown two very successful businesses as an entrepreneur and marketer. She has also an author, model, and three-time fitness world champion, as well as the host of the Find Your Happy podcast with Lori Harder. Please enjoy this conversation with Lori Harder. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Okay, Lori, tell us about where you grew up, how you got started, all the good stuff. Where are you from? I came in a lot of scripture. I know. Doesn't this feel like the big giant steak is in front of it? you and you're like, how do I even eat this thing? Like, how do I tell them where? How do I tell you everything?

So I am from a really small town in Upper Michigan. Like, you guys, it was three hours from a mall, like, at all. No Target, no Walmart, no nothing. So really small town in Upper Michigan, grew up in a restrictive religion and also was homeschooled through high school. So when I say restrictive religion, I add that to the story because I think it's really important for people to know kind of where all of this tribe stuff came from and kind of where all of my overcoming resistance and fear came from because I wasn't able to associate with anyone outside of my religion. Can I ask you which religion it was?

Jehovah's Witness. And because it was also, I think what happens is sometimes when certain religions are in really small towns, they also can take them to their own sort of level. And what I mean by that is it was just very like, everything was literal. Like everything was literal. So as far as being able to do anything with people after school, I wasn't able to be in extracurriculars. I wasn't able to, you know, go hang out with friends. I couldn't even go do homework with people. So it was kind of like, I really only had like these three girls who were in my particular congregation. And it was just an interesting way of living because even if

you didn't necessarily get along great with them. You just kind of hung out with these people. And that's what friendship kind of became to me. I didn't understand that there were people out there who you really did totally jive with that you would get to hang out with. So what happened for me is at a really young age, I started to do a lot of things alone because I enjoyed my alone time more. But I started telling myself the story that I was better off alone.

And that can be really restrictive in your life. and that can really hold you back in so many ways as you get older. But what also happened is I developed a lot of anxiety because I got made of fun of my religion and because I was a little overweight when I was a kid. And my whole family was overweight as well. So what I constantly heard and I write about this in my book a lot is, you know, what we're hearing is what we think we are. So for a long time I thought that I just had really bad genetics

and that I'd always struggled with my weight, not looking at the fact that we were not living a healthy life at all. So as a teenager, that's when I really started reading more fitness magazines. And I was like, wait a minute. We are not eating or living in any way. Like what was the typical dinner meal? You know, like spaghetti, like two or three plates of spaghetti for real with mounds of parmesan cheese.

Like I was the kid who we would go to Sam, or not Sam's Club, but we would get the extra big parmesan cheese. And I would use like probably, I don't know, half cup for real. Goals. anymore. I know. Yeah. And I just at the time, there was just a lack of knowledge in the health space or is it Yeah, and being from a really small

town. I mean, you know, I feel like just not a lot of knowledge in the health space at all and then being from somewhere where a lot of people were overweight. And, you know, my whole family was, that's what we did. We bonded over food. We just literally, everything that we did

was about food or over food. And I think it's also because it was such a small town. There's not a lot to do. So what else do you do? You eat. Like we weren't athletic. We weren't doing, no, everybody was just working kind of like normal jobs, you know, a waitressing or my dad was a carpenter, or my mom just kind of worked from home and also worked with him. And there just was no knowledge in that area whatsoever at all. So when did you, when did you decide to make a change? How did you break that routine? You know, at a really young age, I, I already saw, because in my

family what I heard and from other people was like just wait it's coming for you or just wait you're going to be you know heavy like the rest of us and when I say heavy I mean they they were all you know anywhere from 70 to 100 pounds overweight so I also saw that there was so much unhappiness and there was so much anxiety and there was so much depression and that was a scary thing for a kid to go this is what like this is my future this is what it's going to be for me and that I also felt a calling I think everybody does. I think we just tend to drown it out. But I felt my soul at a young age being like, no, you're here for a big reason. And I just never, I never let that go. I was like, no, there's got to be something more. So what happened is I thought, nope, that's not happening to me. I have to figure out a way

that I can combat this. So I started reading fitness magazines. And that's really when it started to pivot for me as I would beg for magazines whenever my mom would go to the grocery store, whenever I would go to the library. You guys, I had a binder where I would go and make copies for 10 cents a copy at my library from these fitness books to learn these different fitness moves and do and carry this thing around with me everywhere. You created your own blog. Totally. My own version of a blog at that time. A scrapbooking was a vintage bug. For sure. That's amazing. Absolutely. And I carried it with me everywhere. And what happened is I started exercising, whether I was walking outside or whether I was biking or whether I was doing these exercises at home. And what I noticed was on the days that I exercised, I didn't feel

all of the anxiety that I normally had. I didn't feel all of the panic that I normally had. And I felt better. I had more energy because I was feeling kids feel depressed. They feel anxious. And a lot of it's because of what we're eating and we're not moving. So I put two and two together right away. Oh my God. When I'm moving, I feel better. And I have a little bit of a say in this. So that's when I started to become just full on obsessed, to be honest with you. And I started doing a lot alone. started almost cutting off my family at a young age. And God, I love that. Can I ask you about, I know a lot of people with a family that's maybe eating unhealthy and has weight issues, I've heard that a lot of children actually feel guilty when they make a change and they say, okay, I'm going to,

because you feel, you know, you don't want to call your parents out to make your parents feel bad or the rest of your family feel bad, but if you're making a change for the better for yourself and they're looking at like, did you ever feel any of that guilt? Yeah, what do you do when you, how do you navigate that? What do your parents do when you don't subscribe to their lifestyle? Oh man, and that's the journey. Let me tell you that this is the journey that I talk about. So the crazy part is they were always dieting, but the diet was very short term and then it was binging even harder, right? So I mean, my sister, I remember growing up, she lost 100 pounds and then put it back on, like 80 pounds, I believe, and then put it back on.

And it was this up and down and back and forth, losing 20, putting on 30, losing 30, putting on 40. So constant dieting. So it's not that they weren't trying it. It was just very short term. So for me, it was how do I not do that? Like, how do I make this actually a lifestyle? And it was super challenging. And I'll tell you that I withdrew at a young age.

Like my... From your family. Yes. My mom and my sister still to this day are like, why didn't you just say how you were feeling? Or why didn't you spend more time with us? Or why were you so withdrawn? And I try to tell them because I didn't feel good.

Like it didn't feel good to me to be, even though you were bonding in the living room, eating, you know, ice cream and doing all those things. I would go up to my room and go try to do something creative or I would go for walks or I would go for bike rides. But it was super painful. It's challenging. It's isolating. Yeah. It was very isolating. I felt it was a bizarre dance because I felt depressed a lot. But I didn't.

It was like the depression that I felt from eating and from not moving was worse than the depression I felt from being alone. So that was winning for me. Makes sense. So how do you transition from this to where you are now? Oh, man. So let's see. There's so many transitions because then I moved out and you can imagine what happens when you're like in a restrictive religion.

You're held like a spring and then you realize that there's this whole world out there and you move to a city. So I spent a couple years doing that life of going out every single day and just doing, I mean, awful, right? Like drinking every single night. like working three different jobs just trying to maintain that lifestyle. And I hit this wall where you get to a point where when you are living so out of alignment, you're either going to continue numbing or find things to numb out more or your soul is going to just smack you with a two by four

so hard. And you're going to get so many different things that are happening until you wake up. And that's kind of what happened for me. I just had some really traumatic experiences happen. And also So just, you guys, I woke up like downtown Milwaukee in bushes, like in these bank bushes, like after just a massive bender. And I was like, what am I doing? Because I knew who I was inside and I knew who I was meant to be, but I was living so far out of alignment from that that the pain just became so intense that I decided to move home, which is like, you can imagine how much pain I had to be and to move back home to all of the

rules, right? So for me, it was like, okay, I'm going to move back home. I'm going to try to get my life together. And so I kind of went back into their rules and I was just working a lot, trying to pay off a lot of debt and trying to get myself together and be like, what do I want to do next? And in the process, I end up meeting my husband at the gym of all places. And we were, that's ironic. He saw you on that machine and crept over. Oh, my God.

It's a really funny story, actually. I'll give a three-minute story of how I met him. So the poor guy, like, because it's a small town and there's like no new women there, it doesn't matter who you are. Like, they just like go after you. So I'm in this new town not wanting to do, not wanting to talk to anyone, just wanting to like get my life together and work out. And I check in and the first guy at the counter is like, hey, what's your name? And I'm like, oh my God, that was like crazy. Like he's hitting on me right now.

And he goes, I'm an underwear model. Okay, this is the guy who's checking me in. And I'm like, okay. That was his opener? Yes, I'm an underwear model. And he grabbed this like J.C. Penny catalog and shows me him in his underwear. I'm serious. So I'm like, oh, okay.

So whatever. And then I start working out. And this other guy comes up. And I'm literally, this is so meatheadish, but I'm like doing curls with my weights. And I have my headphones on. I don't think I've ever heard a girl describe themselves as a meathead, but I'm awful. I respect it. So I have headphones on and he's like, hey, hey.

trying to get my attention take my headphones off put the weights down and he's like my name's jake and i'm pointing to my arm right now because he had a tattoo of his name jake on there in case he forgot at any given point and i was like hello jake he's like do you smoke this is the opening line of this one and at this point i'm thinking i'm on candid camera because i'm like this guy's an underwear model this guy's asking me at the gym if i smoke like and i go no and he goes no not smoke do you smoke weed and I go, no. And he's like, do you want to go smoke weed with me and my girlfriend? So you can imagine my poor husband is getting set up right now.

So third guy to come is my husband. This is like all in a short period of time. And he's like, hey, are you new here? And I go, oh my God. Like I was like, yes. And I just kind of walked out. And I'm not like I'm probably one of the nicest people. Like I'm overly nice to an obnoxious point sometimes where I wish I could be mean.

And that was the first time I think I was just very like, I'm out of here. Like, this was too much. And so guys love a challenge. They love a challenge. So that's my, that was it. That's how we first met. And I just got in my car and I was like, bye. And then I saw him and he was like so incredibly nice. And he was always just trying to say hi. Well, I mean, listen, he's spalling up the underwear guy and the tattoo guy. So he's, you know. Poor guy. Like, he just didn't have a chance in the world. No, but I feel like he had every chance because you already had to deal with like the two worst. You're lucky. You don't have your name tattooed on your arm.

I wanted to go back a little bit and ask you with, and I have to be careful navigating this once again on the show, with restrictive religions when you're trying to leave for those of us that are uneducated. Yes. How does that process work, right? If you're so immersed in a church. Okay. So this is an important part of the story because for basically my whole teenage years and 20s, because the pain of leaving what can happen is sometimes you can either get disfellowship, disassociated, you can get cut out. and that was the case for my religion is if you leave or if you do something that goes against the church, which could be anything from drinking too much to making out with someone to, you know, premarital sex. Shit, I would have been cut out when I was like nine. For sure.

Strike three for me. For sure. For sure. So what happens is you also have to go and you have to talk about what happened with all of the elders. And then you have to go and say if you're sorry. And that was so this is a huge thing as a teenager because. Because what would happen is for a lot of us because we didn't feel like we could be open about things that we made mistakes on. We would hide everything.

So then you start living this other life. And then you feel like you're hiding everything. You feel like you're living a double life. So when I left, I kind of left without. I didn't necessarily get into trouble. But all of my friends got into trouble. I got into some trouble, but I did not get disfellowship. But what happens is you no longer can be a part of it.

You no longer get to talk to those people. And how do the parents react to that? They, it depends. It's very, it depends case by case, but some parents really abide by that and they try to get their children back in by not, you know, associating as much with them. But a lot of families, if you're cut out, like you are cut out for the most part. It just is, it's very case by case per family. And are your family still with the church right now? Yeah. Today. Yeah. So I try. It's like, honestly, I'm so grateful for it and I so respect it. And I actually understand it. You have empathy. of empathy and I understand it and I understand what they're doing. But at the same time, I also want to be a space for people because I believe religion is just a version of a tribe. I believe a tribe can be people that you, you know, your old group of friends. I believe a tribe can be. Michael has a tribe of Chihuahuas. Yes. I just think it's important for any tribe, whether it's a religion or a company or, you know, a community, that it has to, it has to be healthy. Right. And I think that

It cannot be fanatical. And I'm not calling out any one particular organization. But I think if you're, I'm trying to get to, is if somebody's listening and they feel like they're not part of a productive or helpful or positive community, like what steps they can do to kind of get themselves in the right mindset to get into one that is productive, right? Well, I think, you know, I loved, we were talking before. You guys were just on my podcast.

And the analogy that I loved was what you said. You just, and it's true. So this is exactly what I did. I started adding people into my life who were a positive tribe, who were people where I wanted to go, right? So even if I didn't quite feel like I fit in there yet, even if I didn't feel like I was quite worthy necessarily of this tribe of where I wanted to go yet, or I was the person that could withhold this tribe. What I started to do is really build friends in the areas that I wanted to go. Because what happens is if you don't have these people pulling you over here in the area that you want to go, you're going to go back to the one. where you received love.

Because at the end of the day, it's all about love. It doesn't matter the quality of love. If you're not getting any love anywhere else, you'll go back to a shitty quality of love, right? Because it resembled love. So that's even what happens in sometimes relationships or sometimes verbally or physically abusive relationships is if we don't have something outside of here, right?

Because what happens is they try to isolate you and make you think that you'll never be loved or accepted outside of that. So when you're transcending and you're transitioning with a tribe, you have to start building it on the other side so that you can go into that, have some places to fall into, have some love on the outside. Otherwise, you will never transition. You'll never make it. You'll go back to what was half fueling you. Makes total sense. How did you start to kind of know you were an entrepreneur? So again, I loved that we talked before this because for me, when I would

be in other jobs, so you guys, I worked, I did makeup for a while. I worked at a coffee shop. I, let's see, I sold cell phones. Oh my God, I was a Hooters girl. I worked at TGI Friday. Love a Hooters girl. Maybe I'll dress up as a hooters girl one night for you and put Woo all over you. Laura's been looking for the tights for a while, right? I have the tights.

Oh, wait. They're just really quick tangent. We have to. Michael, don't freak out. So the Hooters tights are a thing, guys. Yeah. Every single girl that's worked at Hooters have told me they lift your ass. They tighten.

They make you look tan. They make you look like you have these long supermodel legs. So I went into Hooters when I was about 20 years old and everyone that knows my blog knows. And she worked there for 10 years. Everyone that knows my blog knows when I'm on a mission and I'm getting specific, I'm getting what I want. So I wanted those tights at 20. And I went in and there's this beautiful girl at the front and she's with their friends and they're all dressed up, all cute and I'm probably in homeless clothes.

Who knows? And I go, I want to buy the tights. And those girls looked at me like, no, we're not giving you those tights. I could tell by their face. I go, I know you have the tights in the back. I want to buy the tights. No, they wouldn't let me. So I stood around, I talked to another girl.

She finally let me buy the fucking tights. I got those tights. I had the tightest ass on Halloween because of this tight. They're like dance tights. They were like the pre spanks. Like they were spanks down to your toes. Like you were in a full on body suit, man. I did a post on the skinny confidential if you guys are wondering.

Just Google the skinny confidential hooters tights. Yeah. I mean, that was like my binge drinking days too. And I was like, it's okay. I got the tights for fun. Those tights. I'm not joking. It's true.

Okay, sorry. Anyway, gone. You worked to hooters. Where were we? Yes. Where were we? You said you were telling us all the jobs you had and how you became, not became, I guess how you knew you were this entrepreneur.

Oh. And I just, you know, I would absolutely show up and I would do the best job there, but I couldn't. Like, I literally, people would start telling me what to do. And it was painful. Suffocating. Suffocating. I could not. I would get to the point where I was like, I could.

can't actually have somebody tell me what to do. It was painful. It was like it feels like your inner toddler is like trying to jump out and escape. You're like, it probably had to do a lot too with your history and your past. It's being in this religion. You probably were completely against being told what to do because of that. Totally. And I feel like, you know, especially as an entrepreneur and just, I think as a human being, like we are meant to be free flowing and learn, you know, whatever is kind of holding us back and whatever's holding us down. That is our work is to go in and find. And what that thing is, kind of do some work to release it or us to release it, and then to keep moving. Like, when we don't feel like we can be moving into the areas that we want or doing what

we were put here, that's when we get really constricted. And that's when I think life starts to suffer. And that's when we get depressed. And I think if more people looked at what's constricting. So I think that's how you really know. I felt so constricted. So if you're feeling, some people don't feel that in their jobs, though. Some people love it. They love being able to go and have like a weekend. And I don't know what that would be like. But that might be awesome, but not for me, you know. What's a weekend? I know.

I'm just kidding. We're like Memorial Day weekend. We're like, let's work. Literally. It's true. It's okay, though. You know, we love it. We get fueled off.

Okay, so your online brand, let's talk about it. It's massive. Do you have any productivity hacks for us? I have to, I had to get into a rhythm and a schedule for it. So I have to set aside times during, it's really like planning in months. So, you know, a three-month plan. I'll know what I'm doing in the next three months.

I'll know when I'm filming my workouts. You have to know. Otherwise, you just feel like you are all over the place. So for me, a lot of time blocking, a lot of projecting out with the team, which we're getting better and better at because we were actually quite bad at that for a while. But getting really clear on what days I'm filming, what content needs to be created. Okay, when is this program going to be launching all year long? So that's really important.

is to just know where you're going. What does your plan look like for your launches? What does your plan look like for your social media? What does that? And for us, we're still working on it, to be honest with you, because as I was telling you guys before, we have a lot going on. And now we are in the season of paring down.

Like we want to really get focused on what is bringing us the most joy and maybe even start pivoting some of our stuff. How are you going to do that? We're going to sit and have massive strategy sessions. With a huge team, with our team currently. And then we're going to look at where we can, you know, so much of what you were talking about on my podcast where you said, what, you know, what's not bringing you joy? We're going to do a huge day on that. Like, what can I delegate?

Where can I bring in teams? Where can I, you know, go and work with a team where I'm working alone? Where can I have someone do more of my emails? So that's going to be, that's what we're doing in this next right after this book tour is over. We're talking a lot now because you have a team and support a massive platform. but if you could go back, what was in someone's listening? Where did you get started? Like, what was the first thing you started with online?

Online, to be totally honest with you, was just posting every day doing, I was doing inspiration. Okay. And that was it. And I started to be known for someone who was not only fitness, because I was posting fitness stuff, but I was also posting mindset stuff. So I think the main thing for me, and sometimes what I tell people, is just start being so consistent on what.

you want to be known for because that's where I got started. So what happened is once you have that audience who's following you for something that you love doing and something that you want to be known for, then you can create a product for it and you could do a launch for it. But if you don't have that, I find so many people are like, no, I'm not doing anything yet because I'm thinking of this product or I'm not doing anything yet because I'm building this thing or I'm not doing anything yet. I'm like, then who's going to buy it?

Who in the world is watching you? Nobody's watching you because nobody even knows that you're known for this yet. What did you say on the podcast if you're talking to everyone you're talking to no one? Yeah, but I think what you're saying is that if you're not getting started and then you're definitely talking to no one, right? Absolutely. So I think getting started on what are you most interested in? What do you see yourselves that gives you most energy, most vitality?

And just try to focus on that because most likely you're probably going to create a product or you're going to go into that space where are you talking about mindset? Are you more of a fitness person? Are you more of a clothing person? And are you, you know, in keeping it a bit specific so that people want to go to you when they think of that thing. So you talk a lot, you were talking earlier, we were talking earlier about anxiety and fear. When you were first launching and there's a lot of people listening that, you know, they need to get over that fear hurdle. They need to get over that anxiety hurdle or that hurdle of what other people will think.

What mindset did you have to be in to get past that so that you could actually take the steps to launch? For somebody that's listening, it's like they have an idea, but they just haven't quite gotten themselves into the space to be able to take the leap. I had to tell myself a new empowering story every single time. So I would tell myself that, you know, when I'm anxious or something that I'm fearful of, there's a reward on the other side of that. So whenever you are not taking action or whenever you're sitting in the fear, you're still feeling the pain with zero reward. You might as well go straight for that pain and get the reward on the other side because

it's going to be quick and you're going to get this massive freedom. So that's the story that I had to tell myself was, you know, no fear is worse than the pain of sitting in what you're not doing. With a no win scenario. Yeah. Because otherwise it is, there's zero winning. There's zero winning and the anxiety and the pain is only going to get worse because that's one thing that we know about anxiety and pain, right?

Is if you don't face it and if you don't go and try to deal with it and if you don't go and start living the way that you want to live, it's going to get bigger. We talked about on your podcast some practices that I do to fight anxiety. how do you fight anxiety and how do you do it on a micro level on a daily basis on a daily basis I meditate I have to meditate what do you I'm going to get really specific with you what do you use I just use music so I literally just get quiet and I try to just let go um I also love visualization so I visualize what I want for the day or what I want for that time being visualization's actually been one of my biggest um key things for I think manifesting and

getting everything that I desire. Because I need to, I believe that the feeling is the most powerful thing that you can do is to feel the way you want to feel as if you already have the thing in the life and the feeling for the day. Because it's always a choice. So when I'm sitting in misery, I'm like, I'm fucking choosing this feeling right now. You got to meet my friend Kara from the champagne diet. She is absolutely fat. I love her. She's coming to my book launch in New York. You guys got to collaborate because she's taught me through her secret Facebook group. about visualization.

You guys got to do something together. She's fab. Anyway. I love her. Another little tangent. I love that. So then once you take it, I'm sure there's been many hurdles and many setbacks. I don't like to call them failures because you're still going and you're still pushing.

But when you, after you've taken the leap and you deal with those hurdles and setbacks, how do you handle them at this point? You know, I'm in this space right now where I'm getting really clear on the fact that life is always good or great is running parallel with challenges. Like there's not a day that goes by that I am not extremely challenged and also extremely overjoyed. So accepting everything that comes into my space has been so huge for me. I guess I'm going to have you elaborate on that.

How do you get uncomfortable to get comfortable? So what are some struggles that you've had to go through to get to the other side? maybe specifically specific struggles I know you were doing fitness competitions for a while and some of those were challenging like how did you and eventually you went on to be very successful

how did you deal with those hurdles specifically that was so fitness competitions for me was almost like a known seeking out resistance in order to overcome anxiety because I had a massive fear about even just getting out there and also it was kind of this place where I knew if I didn't do something really

big, the anxiety would overtake me. That's how I was feeling if I didn't consistently do something big. So that's kind of how that even started was I need a goal. I need to force myself into doing something so big that I proved to myself that I can because I would feel myself closing up even more and having little things start to cause anxiety. So how I would do it with fitness, honestly, I would set resistance, basically. I kept on wanting to build that muscle just like in the gym. I started to really realized that life was exactly like working out. Like you had to go and seek more resistance in order to get stronger or you're going to close off more. I just knew I was going to shrink. And I thought this was isolated to just me. But the more and more I talk to people, it's like,

this is everyone. This is human beings. If we don't seek out resistance and really strengthen that muscle daily and understand that discomfort is a part of your daily life. It should be. It should be. otherwise you're going to shrink. You're either expanding or you're shrinking. This kind of is something that I do a lot. I try to do it as many times as I can is cryotherapy. And the reason I do it is because, yeah, it feels great to be cold and it helps with inflammation and all those different things. But also it for me, it's like I've worked up to three minutes. I've built that muscle and I feel like when I get out, that's the hardest part of my day and I can do anything after that. Yes. You know, it's like that mental toughness. There's this book that Michael and I love called Relentless by Tim Grohl. over. It's a great book. You would like you with everything you're saying is like very similar. Yeah. I gotta read it.

Oh, you'd love it. Okay. You just have to like make a choice I think every single day if you're going to build that muscle or if you're not. Mm-hmm. So you have, you do events.

Is it yearly events, quarterly events or what? Yeah. Well, I have one big event for the year. It's like 500 women. So it's called the Bliss Project. And that's in that's an annual event. We do a lot of other little events, especially with network marketing.

We used to do a lot of other events. And then we also speak on like their. big stage as well. So sometimes that'll be like 15,000 people. So we don't put those on though. We'll put the little ones on. But the one big one that we do every year is called the Bliss Project. And what is the type of person that you find to be in attendance most commonly? I would say people who, it's kind of like the Tony Robbins audience who wants to break through. Like people who want to either create massive change in their life, they want a tribe or they want to break through because we do a lot of experience, like I do a lot of experiential exercises.

exercises there as well. So people who are really goal oriented and are seeking higher level people as well in their life who maybe don't have them in their life. That's the main, kind of the main audience. We were talking and this is, I think, common to anybody, any of this type of person that goes to events and we've been to these events, how many of the people, and it could be a percentage that go to these events, then later leave and follow through with, you know, what they learn at these events. Because I find a lot of people go and the anthem themselves up and they get like a, you know, short-term motivation and they don't have the tools to follow through. So how do you, how do you help people follow through? Well, and this was a huge, this was huge for me. So the first

two years that I did it, you know, because we sent out surveys, like really in-depth surveys of finding out like what's going on with your life after. What's going on now? How are you feeling? What's like what's missing? What was challenging to keep going? What did you love about it? What, you know, what were you able to take away? And one of the main things that people were saying is they, things changed. Like for everybody who responded, things definitely changed. They had little, they had perspective shifts that made their life better, but they're like, I wasn't able to really create the, like the magic in the room that was the relationships, that inspired feeling, that feeling that I could do anything, or that, you know,

that major connection that I had there. I haven't been able to create these connections outside of there. So that's when I started creating a course, which then the course led me to wanting to write the book. So the book is actually a facilitator. that acts as a facilitator of what happens in the room outside of the room. Because the book was written off of what happens after the event, what happens after the book, what happens after the podcast. And I believe that you have to build your environment first. It's like a muscle.

Yes. You can't go to an event and expect your whole life to change. You have to practice. My fear with these events is like not your event, but any event, right? You get everyone and it's like hurrah and everyone's patting them in the back and then like there's very little follow-through for the majority of the people. And I think that's... I really respect that you have tools afterwards. I think that's really cool. I think that's a really good idea. I actually felt really irresponsible. I'm going to be honest, like, after my first two,

I was like, I am leaving these people with like, you just gave them a glimpse of what could be. And then you send them back to their environment that does not feel that way at all. So it can almost be worse once you have this glimpse. And how much of the responsibility, though, is, on the individual. Because I mean, if you're, let's say, a course or an event, I feel like at that point, the event coordinator or the person has done their part, like how much then falls on the individual? I mean, it's always you're radically responsible for yourself, obviously.

But I think it's also important to point people in a direction if you just open them up beyond where they've ever been open to. So, and that's what we were doing. You know, you, this might be the first taste of self-development for some of these people. and you crack them wide open and they're walking around with their heart totally open. You have to teach them how to like, okay, you're going back into the real world. So there either needs to be a day on immersion or there needs to be something where you're going to say, it's not going to be this way unless you do this.

And I get really transparent on stage. I'm like, this is going to end. Like this will be the last day you feel this way on the last day if you don't do something about it. Sometimes maybe there's a hangover afterwards. Oh, my God. Massive. Like a vulnerability hangover times 10. But that's really where, like I talk about the tribes coming in.

So whether you're going to go and create them on your own, but this is going to be every other week accountability or you can do once a month. But it's something that you're super committed to. So if you're committed to yourself, it's like you're a million percent committed to keeping this going. So it's really only for the people who are ready to commit. Some people leave and they don't want to. They're like, no, I'm good. Like, that was great.

I feel great. I kind of know what I'm going to do with my life and I feel good. And that's enough for people. For those people who are really ready to break through, though, you have to keep it going with the people that you're around or you will become you will go back to becoming the people who you surround yourself with. And that's where it gets really tough is because this means what we've been talking about transitioning or transcending or breaking away from their current tribe and then moving into a new tribe that is going to help support where they are or where they want to go.

We were talking about on your podcast how if you are trying to do better and you are trying to do a lot of self-development, but the people around you aren't what to do. And I was saying, and you guys have to listen, but I was saying that it's like vegetables. If you want to lose weight, instead of taking away from your plate, you add more. So we were saying that you add more good people. Yes. How do you cultivate good people in your life? How do you bring them on? Do you seek out a mentor? Do you listen to podcasts? Is there something specific that you do? Yes. So there's quite a few different things that you can do. Sometimes in the beginning, I always say path of lease resistance is really good. So sometimes seeking out the mentors, listening to podcasts, but also going to events is really huge.

You get to meet all the people who are interested in what's happening at that event. But you can't just go to the event. You have to get intentional with meeting people there. So like me, I went to events and I was like, totally introverted. You know, go up to my hotel room during the breaks and like, don't meet anyone. And like, this stuff doesn't work. Like, this isn't working. you have to get intentional. So then I started setting intentions. Okay, I want to go home with two really

awesome, like, contacts that I can either stay in touch with or that I can connect with, like, on a monthly basis or whatever that looks like. So what does it mean to get intentional and want to go home with those contacts? You have to have that script in your head that you're going to say when you meet these people or you connect with them, you know, after you create somewhat of a connection. Maybe you go to lunch with them, you really hit it off and you're like, hey, I'm just going to put it out there. This is what I'm looking for. I would love an accountability partner. once a month we meet, you know, Skype or Zoom for an hour. And we just chat like 30 minutes each. We get off. Like we respect each other's time. We get off when we're done. You know, here's the

agreements. So basically having agreements, having everything ready for what you want because people are like, how do you do it? You have to be intentional. You have to have a script. You have to have a close. Like if you don't know how to close someone on what your idea is, then you're never going to get that idea across. So that's also what I write a lot about in the book is I write scripts and I teach people how to close on relationships because if you've never seen it, then how in the world do you know how to even have one or get what you want out of a relationship and making sure that it's mutually beneficial is the most important thing for me. So mutually beneficial, equal respect, and so much about making sure that time is respected or people will not ever get on with you in the

first place. And we're all busy people. That is a great subject time. Let's talk about time. Michael and I've been discussing this a lot. Well, I think I think with Without, if you want to be intentional time, you have to be on top of time, right? Like, I think people that struggle with the intentions, they don't have a good grasp of time, right? You can't, and it goes down to being mutually beneficial and respecting the other person. Like, if I tell you, hey, let's meet at 1 o'clock and then I show up at 1.30. Well, you can't use today because I was a little late and she parked somewhere that she goes. No, no.

No, no. I'm not attacking either. I'm not attacking either of you. Let's not use today. If you're reading into that, Lauren, then. But I think, you know, I think it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, becomes selfish and it becomes to the point where if you don't respect my time, then why should I, and you're starting off on a bad foot and not saying anyone does that, but I think how do you,

how do you look at time and how do you manage it? So clarity, like just get really, really clear because you will, so for everybody listening, you will not keep high level relationships if you are not a million percent clear and respectful of other people's time. You won't, you will lose it there because is if you are even 10 minutes over something where how do you plan your day then you have to understand that high level people go back to back to back to back right so if I'm on a conversation and someone's like well just one more thing just one more thing and while I'm sitting here and I have to go text someone else that I'm late for and I feel bad and I'm like you know I'm either going to have to be super harsh on that boundary or I'm going to feel like I'm you don't respect me this is my new line

I have a hard stop in 15 minutes I love it 15 minutes I'm so sorry I have a hard stop. That's the only way to do it. You just have to set it up at the beginning of the conversation. I'll tell you this. I'm used to it. My partner in this business and Dear Media, we showed up to a meeting, Lauren and I showed up to a meeting with her years ago. We were having a salad at Maros. About 15 minutes late. And she looked at me straight away and said, if you guys are ever late to a meeting like this with me again, it'll be the last meeting. That's amazing. And it was amazing. And long story short, we're partners now. And I think you have to, you have to operate that way. But I think, listen, it's holding somebody else accountable. And nobody else is like, time.

is the most valuable asset that we have in this life. And everybody's time is worth just as much as the other person. So if you're taking someone's time or screwing up someone's time, you're literally robbing them. I want to even get more specific with time. So how I manage my time is I actually have someone that's completely dedicated to my calendar. She lives, eats, breathes, sleeps my calendar. Shout out to Emily. I love you. And what she uses is we use Google calendars and everything's color-coded. And in the morning, she texts me a breakdown of the day so I can set up. alarms in my phone. Is there strategies that you implement every single day or every other day that really help you manage your time that people could use or take away from it? I absolutely do the

same thing. Just everything is in my calendar. If it's not on the calendar, it doesn't exist. It literally does not exist. So, and then that morning, my husband and I connect before anything happens and we say, when are you done? Because we want this time together. So if you want family time or if you want extracurricular time or if you have something that you want to get planned in, you have to plan it in. Even if it's just coffee for yourself or if it's a walk. So we even plan in our walks for the day. But I am all calendar. Like I just, I look at my calendar that morning. I try not to look, I'll glance the night before, but the next day, it's like I just study everything. I see where I have to be. So I get really intentional. I plan out where I have to be. How long is that going to take? Okay, let's be really

realistic on how long it's going to take me to get ready or transition from here. And I think something else that's important for people to understand is you can plan your stuff, but always give yourself a little bit of padding, especially if you're meeting someone new, because time gets away from you. I need help with that. A little padding. Little padding here and there. Otherwise, it gets you, you get anxious and then you show up to the next thing and you're like frazzled and you don't. And then at the end of the day, the whole day you felt a bit behind. So learning to also build in padding is really huge for me. Great tip. How are you the best version of yourself? Taking care of myself first in the morning. is huge. Connecting into my higher power, like meditating, prayer. Food for me is huge. Like, I have to

eat really high-vibed food and I have to move my body because if I do not, oh, and sleep. I love that you talk so much about sleep because I am like the eight, nine hour girl. If I do not, I'll be the first person like to bail at a party or to bail. Like if we're out on a trip, I'm like, okay, bye, have fun. I'll be the first one to bail on my husband if he wakes me up again like he did this morning with turning on the lights. There was a spotlight on my face. He was asking me questions that I didn't even know. That's not going to work well. I'm just going to start sleeping outside in the tent. I literally encourage it. Sleep next to the dog mat. So the new book came out, was it May 8th? Is that correct? Yes. And so what can everyone expect in the book? You will. A tribe called bliss.

A tribe called bliss. It is a self-development book, but it's also talking about how you have to make sure that you are reaching your highest potential, becoming your highest version of yourself, in order to attract the tribe that you want. It's really about learning how to show up authentically you, but also exactly how to attract the tribe that you want. I mean, right down to scripts. And like we talked about, I have how to be a timekeeper when you're on your meetings, how to, you know, have these agreements with people from the beginning so that you know each other's expectations so that it is an equal energy exchange. Like I, literally have in the middle of the book something called seven sacred agreements because what we're

doing is you know the past we used to enter into relationships and just hope that it works and hope that we're the same and hope that they understand our background and what we're bringing into the relationship and what we expect from them and how we want to be treated and it's like you can't go enter into a relationship and and think that people know what you want how many compliments do I expect a day just so we can be on the same page a lot too many too much all day long I need a compliment. I love a compliment. But he knows that, right?

Well, now you need to have an agreement around it. On your forehead. Now you need to tell him how many you want. You want 10 a day. He's just got to make sure they're in. 20 would deal. I don't ask for much. What's next?

What's next? I want to grow the podcast. I want to create something from the book based off of it. So I really want to do something called Tribe Talks. I'm not sure completely what it will look like, but it will be women kind of round table together, talking about real things, what it actually looks like to support each other at a high level.

What do we do about gossip? What do we do about comparison? How do you handle all of these things at a high level? Like, what does it really look like? Because I think that's what's holding people back is not understanding the tools. How are you actually having these conversations? What are these conversations look like?

Because like I said before, if you've never seen the conversation, you don't know how to model it or what's acceptable. You got to go get a binder and you got to get printouts of the fitness magazine and put them together. That's where you're going to start. You're going to go to the library. Make your own future.

Create it. Where can everyone find you? You can go to Lori Harder.com. On Instagram, it's just at Lori Harder. Otherwise, for the book, it's all a tribe called Bliss.com. And just so you guys know, the book is really, really flirty for putting on your Instagram. It really fits with the whole aesthetic. It's white with a pop of pink.

It's perfect. It's perfect. Thanks for coming on. Thank you guys so much. much. It was so much fun. Okay, guys, just a few things before you take off. Be sure to look for a Thursday episode. It's going live on Thursday. That's right. We're doing two episodes this week. That's six episodes a month. So make sure you look out for it. Also, giveaway time. As always, if you want five very TSC beauty products from me, comment on my latest Instagram and tell me what your favorite part of this

episode is. We're always tracking what you guys like. We have an Excel sheet. Mimi handles it. and she makes sure that we are always serving you guys content that you love. So let me know your favorite part of this episode on my latest Instagram to win five beauty products. Lastly, as always, if you rate and review the podcast, please screenshot it and email it to Ask Lauren at the Skinny Confidential.com, Lauren with a Y, and we will send you five of my top beauty hacks straight to your inbox. Thanks for listening and we'll see you on Thursday. This episode was brought to you by Four Sigma-Sigmatic, one of our favorite companies.

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