The Bossticks - #128: Emily Schuman & Geoffrey Fuller of Cupcakes & Cashmere - Building a Personal Brand, Couples Working Together, Relationship Advice, Personal Development & Parenting

Episode Date: August 7, 2018

On this episode we pull audio from our live event at The Grove in LA with Emily Schuman & Geoffrey Fuller of Cupcakes & Cashmere. This episode is a family friendly episode that covers working together as a couple, building a personal brand into a mega brand and product line, challenges of working together as a couple &, co-parenting. We also answer some audience Q & A on relationship advice, balancing being a mother and running a business & personal development book recs. To learn more about Cupcakes & Cashmere click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning space offering more than 20,000 courses. Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for just 99 cents. That's right, Skillshare is offering The Skinny Confidential listeners two months of unlimited access to over 20,000 classes for just 99 cents. To sign up, go to www.skillshare.com/skinny.  This episode is brought to you by FOUR SIGMATIC We have been drinking this company's mushroom-infused elixirs and coffees for over a year now. When we need a break from coffee but still need that extra morning jolt and focus the Mushroom Coffee with Lion's Mane and Chaga is the way to go. Lauryn also drinks the Mushroom Matcha which is a green tea designed as a coffee alternative for those of you who want to cut back on caffeine without losing focus and cognitive boosts. This stuff doesn't actually taste like mushrooms, it's delicious. All of these blends have a ton of nutrients and amino acids to give you balanced energy without the jitters. To try FOUR SIGMATIC products go to foursigmatic.com/skinny and use promo code SKINNY for 15% off all products. 

The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by For Sigma. One of our favorite companies. You guys know we interviewed Tarot, the founder, on our show, and had to bring the brand on board as a partner. Four Sigmaics specializes in superfoods and medicinal mushrooms. They make drinking mushrooms and superfoods delicious and easy to do with their mushroom coffees, mushroom superfood blends, and mushroom elixirs. I'm obsessed with the golden latte.

So they're all delicious. Just open a pack and add it to hot water. They don't taste like mushrooms. And like always, we have a special offer just for him and her listeners. Go to 4Sigmatic.com forward slash skinny and in our promo code Skinny at checkout for 15% off your entire order. This episode is brought to you by Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning space offering more than 20,000 courses. I'm currently using the platform to learn after effects as many of you know,

which is the platform that creates all of our Instagram stories and motion graphics. This is a tool for brands and individuals to acquire new skills or take novice skills. to an expert level. Think of it as the Netflix for learning skills online. Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners. Get two months of Skillshare for just 99 cents. That's right. Skillshare is offering the skinny confidential listeners, two months of unlimited access to over 20,000 classes for just 99 cents. To sign up, go to skillshare.com slash skinny. Again, go to skillshare.com slash skinny to start your two months of learning. That's skillshare.com slash skinny.

She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. What's up, guys?

Happy Tuesday. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, Him and Her show. I am Lauren Everts. I'm the creator of the Skinny Confidential. and it's a podcast, a book, an online community, and a blog. And I'm Michael Bostic. I'm an entrepreneur and business operator. Most recently, the co-founder and CEO of Dear Media,

which is a female-focused podcast network that's hosting a ton of great shows, getting ready to launch about six or seven more. So look out for those and check the Dear Media site and page to see all the other great shows on the network. And you just did four live events at the Grove. We did four live events here in L.A. We kicked it off with our show, which you'll hear audio in this episode from with Emily Schumann and her husband, Jeffrey Fuller.

So you'll hear that in this episode, obviously. And then there was three other live events with Jilly Hendricks. She has a podcast called As Seen Online, the girls from that's a retrograde, who's been on this show and we've been on their show. So they did a show. And then also Jacqueline Johnson of Work Party. Check that one out. That will be launching later this year.

So yeah, we did a bunch of live events. It was awesome. You're killing it. We're in L.A. a lot for Dear Media lately. I know. Got an office up there. Pacific Design Center, locked in. You're locked in.

I feel like I need my own office that's like separated. So we're working on that guys. Yeah, can we get a little separation? No, we're getting separation. I want like a light, bright, white office space that's not that big. If anyone knows of anything, let me know. I'm thinking West Hollywood. Yes, it's going to have to be because you can't be too far away from me because, you know, like an

umbilical cord. No, you're not an umbilical cord. You have separation anxiety if you get more than five feet away from me. Don't be, it's okay. Tell everyone what we're really. watching right now. We're re-watching the Sopranos. This is my third time. Anybody out there watching the Sopranos? I love that show. It's my second time and just the fun fact about me. My celebrity crush is James Gandalfini. I'm obsessed with him. He's kind of like weird to have

a celebrity crush on. I think that was one of the only actors that almost made me cry when they passed. That was really sad. That was very, very sad. He is such an incredible actor. If you have not watched Sopranos, what is life? Plug in Sopranos about 20 years. late. Also, Lauren, we are recording this on Monday, and it's before 9 p.m. So I'm feeling good. High five. I'm extremely focused, and I will tell you why. One, I got a ton of rest this weekend. Two, I woke up early, meditated, and then I trained really hard. That's why I'm looking so strong today. I can tell you're looking at my muscles. Don't stare. And three, I'm currently

coming off of a nice hot cop of four-sigmatic Lions Main Mushroom Elixir Focus Mix. This stuff is the absolute best. I shared it last week on my Instagram stories. Last week, I had to give an hour presentation on the state of podcasting in Dear Media to the entire DBA and Dear Media team. And so that weekend right before, I sat down and used the four-sigmatic Lions main focus mix to get it all done. I put together this beautiful presentation that I'm very proud of, really dove into all the inner work into the podcast world and where I see it going, what's happening in the industry, etc. I just love this stuff because there's no come down, no jitters, no pills. It's all natural products, just straight mushroom elixir mix, blended in hot water, taste good, delivers results,

and they have a ton of mixes that are really good for those of you who aren't familiar with the brand. Some of the other standouts is their mushroom coffee with Chaga. Use it to get you going in the morning. I take it in the morning when I'm feeling slow, mixed in with my coffee, which is a little bit turbo, but you can also have it alone. And they also have their hot cacao with Rishi to relax before bed. Lauren loves that one.

She's talked about a million times, but it does really help put you to sleep and calm me down. And I know Lauren also likes the beauty ones. What are the beauty ones used for the? I like the golden latte right now. I'm having this huge moment with it. I even mix my fiber powder in it. And I love the little stir that Four Sigmaics sends you. It's like this little tiny stir that goes in your coffee cup. It's so good. Yeah. No, it's it's by far one of my favorite companies. I would probably go work for this company as a traveling salesman in another life. That's how passionate I'm about it. And that's how much I love this stuff. So if you haven't checked them out, go and check them out. It's foursigmatic.com forward slash. Skinny and enter promo code Skinny for 15% off. They have a ton of amazing blends like the ones I just mentioned. Again, that's 4Sigmatic.com slash skinny and enter promo code skinny for 15% off. Like I said, you can't go wrong. Any of the mixes you choose will make you happy depending on what you're

looking for. So before we get into the interview with Emily and Jeffrey of Cupcakes and Casimir, I want to do a little plot twist for Michael. You're going to be okay? This isn't in the notes. Go ahead. Are you sure? Okay, so I want to talk about, and maybe you can spitball this with me, about building a personal brand online and why it's so important if you eventually want to launch product. Well, a lot of what Emily Schumann has done is just that. She's used her brand cupcakes and cashmere to launch a number of brands online. So I think if you're out there and you're listening and you're on the fence about building a personal brand online, to me, it's just something that comes with 2018. I think everyone should be strategizing on how to build a personal brand. and whether that's you want to launch product or you want to get a job or you want to run a company one day,

having a personal brand online is important. And you can start with a simple Instagram account. You can micro blog through Instagram. You can get LinkedIn. You can do Instagram stories. You can get a Twitter. There's multiple ways to go about it. But having a personal brand online is the foundation, in my opinion, of launching anything in 2018.

Well, my input there is that I think when people hear that, they get overwhelmed because they think they have to have this amazing blog or YouTube. channel or Instagram aesthetic like a lot of big influencers have, what I think and correlate to personal brands online is anywhere where you feel comfortable and confident creating content. So for me, I'm obviously not the best on Instagram, but I like creating content here on this podcast. I think this podcast gives me a lot of leverage to do a lot of the things, hence Dear Media and some of the other businesses we've gotten involved in. So I don't necessarily think it needs to be like this on steroids, look at me, look at your

life all the time. It's just anywhere where you can create some type of meaningful content online. I know a lot of really successful business people create a lot of meaningful content on LinkedIn. I know a lot of creators are on Instagram. Some video creators are on Facebook and YouTube. It just depends where you feel comfortable and confident creating online. And then when people search your name and search like, hey, what's this person about? There's kind of an online resume there that they can go on.

And find your medium. Like Michael said, you want to find the medium that's going to fit best with you. For me, when I first started, blogging was very new. It was very avant-garde. It was different. That's what I did eight years ago. Now, if I started in this space, I would probably utilize Instagram or Snapchat to build a following and build off there.

You want to find whatever is fresh and new and on the pulse and use that platform and ride it. Right now, obviously, podcasts are a great way to connect with an audience. Whatever that is, find that foundation and really, really hone in on your personal brand and start sharing it. Again, you don't have to be this big influencer. From the personal brand, I think there's a lot of opportunities that come with that. Like I said, you can you can set up your personal brand, link it with LinkedIn and find jobs or you can just make friends, find clients, whatever it is online. Use that foundation. A personal

brand to me is where the future is going. Well, and if you're not online, in my opinion, in 2018 and beyond, you're invisible to the world, right? Like, you need some type of presence. And I know we're talking a lot about personal brands here, but I think even equating it to businesses, if you're not creating some type of content online, your competitors are, I can promise you that, whether they're clothing brand, a makeup brand, a digital brand, a e-com brand, whatever it is, whatever type of brand you are, if you're selling waters, anything, if you're not creating content that lives online, your competitors are and you're giving them an opportunity to overtake you and do better. And here, really quick guys, again, don't feel overwhelmed.

Just start really, really, really small. Rinse and repeat seven days a week, work on that one platform and slowly grow out to when it makes sense. So if that's just doing Instagram and not even doing stories for a while, that's fine. But I think that, again, everyone should have a personal brand. And Emily Schumann is a great example of someone that just started with a blog. I think she started 10 years ago, which is nuts. And she really, really blogged away seven days a week, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. And Instagram came out way later. So that's a perfect example of someone that didn't utilize every single medium, but now she's grown outward and she's grown strategically and she's grown slowly. I really, really respect the way Emily and her husband, Jeffrey, have done it,

and they've done it right. So before we get into the interview with Emily, I want to let everyone know that this may be a little bit, I don't want to say muted, but a little bit toned down version of what you typically hear from Lauren and I. We were at the Grove. It is a family-friendly mall. There were some requests by the Grove that we keep it. Family-friendly, thank God. It's so hard for me. Like, what is PG? Thank God. They didn't listen to some of our old content. Everything is rated R and X for me. Yeah, because every other word out of our mouth is typically some type of cuss word or joke, adult joke. But no, it's very family friendly, very acceptable for kids to listen to, which is not like the rest of our.

Yeah, this is different. If you have kids in the car, turn it up. We could slap a clean lyrics, you know, that thing that they have on. No one's ever called me clean with that. Remember you get the old rap albums and it was like explicit and then you get the clean one for your kids? This one would be a clean one. Okay. So yes.

Emily Schuman is one of the original fashion bloggers, having launched cupcakes and cashmere in two 2008 and has since grown the blog into an aspirational girl next door lifestyle brand. Schumann's reach has expanded to count one million monthly visitors on her blog, three licensed product lines, and two bestselling books. Schumann's latest venture is her own e-com platform where fans can shop a curation of her favorite products alongside Cupcakes and Casimir branded items. Emily currently runs the platform with her husband, Jeffrey Fuller, and he is the president of Cupcakes and Cashmere.

When we found out that Emily and Jeffrey worked together, Michael and I knew that they were the perfect fit for our live event hosted by Dear Media at the Grove in L.A. We wanted to do sort of a him and her twist and ask the couple how it was working together because man oh man, has it been a journey for us, hasn't it, honey? It still is. All right. So the sound is going to sound a bit different than normal because like we said, it's recorded live in the park. It was so cool to connect with a live audience there. there was hundreds of you. You guys came out. You had Suckerbit candy. We did gutty bags. We really, really appreciate your support and we're doing more live events to come. Let us know what city you want us to go to next on our latest Instagram at TSC podcast.

So without further ado, here is the cupcakes and cashmere bosses, Emily and Jeffrey. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Thank you guys so much for coming out. This is incredible. I love how they have the pink chairs. Such a nice aesthetic. I'm Lauren Everett's. I'm the creator of the Skinny Confidential. And I'm Michael Bostic. I am the co-founder and CEO of Dear Media

and the co-host of this show, and we're excited to be here. Thank you guys for coming. We are so excited for our guest tonight. First, we want to say thank you to the Grove. Thank you guys for coming. Thank you to Caruso. And we have a very special guest, Cupcakes and Cajmere, Emily Schumann, and Jeffrey. Fuller. We're going to welcome them to the stage.

Come on down. Come on down. I'm really excited, too, because Emily and I have separate good sides, and we actually plan this out. So it's great. It's really working for me. Hi, guys. I'm really glad that I didn't just like face-plan on my way up to the stage. Yeah, really quickly, can you guys just introduce yourself to everyone that came out? Oh, hi. I'm Jeffrey Fuller. I'm Emily's husband, and I'm the president of Cupcakes Kashmir. And I am Emily Schumann and I am the CEO and founder of Cupcakes and Cashmere. Awesome. So fans of the podcast know that Lauren and I are married and you guys are married.

How many fights did you get in today before the start of the show? Just if we want to compare it to our own. I mean, there was one legitimate fight. Not about this. It was about work. But it wasn't the worst. A scale of one or ten, it was like a four. And I was going to say like seven, but like seven been like many disagreements, like not massive fights. But who's keeping count? Hey, Jeffrey, I just noticed we have tiny chairs compared to the... I know. It's the placement's kind of like, you know, women take the stage.

It takes priority. We're just on the lower level. It's an alpha move. It's like seventh grade when you tried to hit on me. You were 4-1 and I was 5'7. I literally thought he was the substitute teacher and I said, whoa, here we go. It's a strong play, strong move. Okay, so before we get into the interview, just give us kind of the background about how

you guys started cupcakes and cashmere and how it's evolved to you guys working together. So I had never heard about blogs prior to finding out that Jeffrey had a blog of his own. It was called About Scotch. It was about Scotch. It was awful. It lasted for like five posts. But I thought like, okay, he's writing about scotch. What if I wrote about things that I was passionate about?

So that's kind of where the alliterative title, Cupcakes and Casimir, came from just because I knew I wanted to be writing about fashion and food. So we started the blog 10 years ago. It's been a minute. So we're kind of OG in this space. And have kind of evolved a lot since then. We have a clothing line. It's sold at Nordstrom, which is really cool to be here.

That small store over there? Yeah, that little guy. That old thing. But we're so excited to be here and talk to you guys today. So how did you guys start working together? Because for Michael and I, I was blogging by myself for five years, and then he kind of stuck his toe in, and we started podcasting together, and the rest is history.

How did you guys sort of make the transition from just you to together? I mean, it was always my weekend gig. I worked in advertising before joining full-time. He'll be six years ago this August. So I was always involved, a small degree just behind the scenes, never really on creating the content. But it was a natural transition once the operative, presented itself to work full-time and build a bigger business that I came on.

And you guys met at AOL. Well, not on an AOL. We weren't on the aim, like on Messenger. You weren't in a chat room. We were not in a chat room. But we did spend a lot of time chatting because Jeffrey was actually my client. I also worked in media and advertising and got the go-ahead from my bosses at the time. But we were, I think it was very obvious right away that we were,

interested in each other and then, you know, I was taken off the account. And where did you have your first date? Coincidentally, at the Grove. But it didn't start here because I almost feel like that, you know, it started at a flea market and I asked Jeffrey if he wanted to go to the flea market with me. And he was like, yeah, I love it. It's so great. You're like digging through to find treasures and all this great stuff.

And now that we're married, he's like, yeah, I hate flea markets. They're disgusting. You're getting other people's garbage. But it was one of those. date, it was our first date and it went from the flea market to the grove. We went to a movie, then we went to get a drink. So it was one of those like really lovely, like all day long dates. How many lies did you tell when we first started dating? Lauren's AOL name was A-Fantasy Girl, 143.

True. And my license plate was love for lore. And mine was metallic 66-66. 666. And I was hitting up those instant messages left and right. It's a match made in heaven. So, Jeffrey, was it always your childhood dream to be part of a brand called Cupcakes and Cash? Yes, day when I came out and I was like, one day I'm going to front a company with my wife with eight other women employees and be the one guy in a space. We share some common out of you. We do. When I was a kid, I just thought one day, the skinny confidential, if I could just plant my flag on that. And here you are.

That'll do it. Can you tell us about how it is working together now? It's amazing, guys. Every day is a new adventure. The real truth. Give us the negridi. Look, it's actually really amazing, but there are days where it's challenging. Being, you know, coworkers, we're also parents. We live together, obviously. So there are a lot of gray areas that you don't always leave behind at the office.

But after six years, I would never imagine taking a different job. This is what we do. This is what we love, is what we're passionate about. And while it consumes a lot of our lives, life, it's the best thing ever. How do you guys shut it off? Because I feel like it's like 1130 at night. I'm done. I've been up so early. It's go, go, go, go, go, go. And then Michael asked me a question about work. And I almost can't believe it that you would do that. But he still does. So how do you guys say no more? I think the compartmentalization is very, very important. And we try to make sure that

their boundaries so that when we're home, we're together, we're husband and wife, we're parents, we're focusing on our daughter, we've made it kind of a rule on dates. Even on a date, we won't really talk about our daughter. We just talk about us at our life outside of work, because it can be really all-consuming. But, you know, of course those conversations do come up and you're sometimes resentful being like, I love this job so, so much, I feel so beyond fortunate that I get to work on something that I love so much, but at the same time, it can just become overwhelming at times that you're just like, I can never completely shut off. Well, it's hard when you're putting your life out. It's like, what is the balance, right? You've got to create content. You have to engage with

the audience, but then you get home at night and you're like, you're in a relationship. And it's difficult to figure out, okay, is it now time to be an intimate couple again, or is it time to continue talking about the business. And I think we struggle with that. And I'd like to know what those conversations look like for you guys when you do have them and you say, okay, it's time to balance again. Yeah, I mean, I think the main thing is we really try to have conversations about work kind of during typical work hours, just because things aren't always so normal, as you know, sometimes you're on a shoot at, you know, 6 a.m. or you're working really late. But I think for us, we try to almost keep it within that, like, kind of nine to six. And of course, I'll be still kind of creating.

content in some regards on Insta Stories and that kind of thing. But I think we do try to find a really good balance if we're in the kitchen together or if we're watching a movie together, whatever it is. We try really hard to not talk about business or we'll just be like, you know what, this is something we don't need to talk about tonight. We can do it in the morning. Yeah, I don't feel like anything we do is all that important that we can't put it off to tomorrow. Like I'm not doing like a liver transplant. I can shut off and let it go there. Yeah, Michael. Okay. It's not a Liver transfer. I want to talk more about creating content, and Michael's probably freaking out right now because we didn't write this question down. It's a little plot choice. We're going off

script. Oh, we're going off script for a second. Creating content. So people don't realize that there's so much that goes into creating content. There's so many different facets of it. Can you talk to us about the behind the scenes that no one sees? Yeah, I mean, I think that, first of all, the space has evolved enormously over the last decade. So I feel like back in the day I would do something I would put on like a dark nail polish and be like, you guys wait for it. I sometimes put on a red sparkly top coat and people are like, mine's blown. This is nuts. And things have really changed. The space is so saturated that you really kind of, it's then forced me to up our game, which I think is really great and to feel inspired and empowered by all of these other people in the space. But that being

said, I think the goal should always be to create content and have it look really effortless, that it just kind of came together and nothing was that planned. But really, everything is very thought out, especially when I think you're balancing a lot of different aspects of the job for us. You know, we have our e-commerce, we have our clothing line, we have the blog. And so you really then need to make sure that you're dedicating time to making sure everything is of a certain level. What's your first love? Like my first love is writing. Same. Same. Okay. We both don't love taking pictures of ourselves. We both have different good sides and we're wearing white and black. I mean, we did not plan this, you know, but. There's a lot of content creators out here in the audience. If you were starting out now, knowing what you know now, where would you tell them to start? Like, where I always look at things as like underpriced assets, where there's less attention you know there's going to be attention later? If you were starting out today, where would you start? I would probably start somewhere on social media more than a blog, just because things have, again, really, really shifted in the way that people are consuming content. I would do a lot of

research on kind of where the market is heading. But ultimately, in terms of finding your voice, I think that's the most important thing, that it doesn't matter how saturated the market is. There's always room for someone who has a really great perspective. So figure out what that is and kind of hone it and learn from other people, see who's doing a great job, you know, evolve over time, and also give yourself that room to make mistakes, because that's the thing that you're not going to come out the gates doing anything perfectly. And Jeffrey, what's your role in this content creation? I actually do look at the trends. I mean, to answer Michael's question, I think, I would say video is, especially mobile video, is a huge component of what we're consuming.

Even Facebook last week came out with a stat saying that Instagram stories is going to surpass the feed early next year. And where content goes, or at least for our business, advertising goes. So my role. is to check in with the industry, understand trends, and tell our team, you know, we're here today, we need to be here next month and next quarter and next year, and try to facilitate that content creation, even though I'm not the one with the ideas, I'm the one trying to guide, I think, the platform principles. You know, I'm much more, we talked about this earlier, much more big picture. So I take a step back and let her kind of govern her own creative

juices. I don't try to advocate for anything unless I feel strongly about a certain business operation. I have faith in her. I have faith in what we've built. It's been 10 years. I'm not worried about a certain decision. I just kind of take a step back. And if she has questions or opinions that she asks with me, I'll provide. But I don't usually, I don't provide unsolicited advice unless somebody's going, hey, well. You got a little tickle in your throat, tickle? Which I will also say, in a very sweet way, Jeffrey said earlier, I did have a bow in my hair earlier. And he was like, are you, are you going to wear that? You kind of, it's cute. It's a little milk maiden for tonight. So, I mean, it wasn't totally

I was, I'm not passive aggressive. I'm more just like, this is what it looks like. Just F. Way I, yeah, took out, took out the headband, added a lip, but, you know, unsolicited advice. That's the, that's more of like the husband-wife role rather than the business partner role. Before we get into that, I want to tell you guys about Skillshare. So let's talk about skills, okay? Who wants to learn more skills. I love a good skill and nothing is better than refining our strengths, right? Anyway, I have a really awesome platform for you guys that I've talked about before and I feel like it needs another shout out. It's called Skillshare. This is one of my favorite platforms for figuring out how to use new skills. They're basically the Netflix of learning. They have over 20,000 online

courses taught by people like you and me. So many of you guys have DMed me about how I do my IG stories like the videos that move in the motion graphics and my team actually owes it to Skillshare. Michael and Taylor learned how to use Adobe After Effects, which is how we create those fun, festive motion graphics. You guys have probably seen them if you follow me on Instagram and watch my stories. We also learned how to create motion graphics for the TSC YouTube channel and my blog. Personally, I think this is a skill that will take your content to the next level and Skillshare makes it accessible. We talked about personal branding me. If you're looking to launch a personal brand, I would highly recommend you look into Skillshare.

I just feel like it's not rocket science. Skillshare really streamlines the whole thing. It's so annoying to have to Google all the steps, so to have it all in one place is just so efficient. I should also say that Gary V has a great class on there too. You guys know I love me some Gary. Anyways, they also have courses on design, think Photoshop, photography, flatlays, Instagram, and creatives. They have business courses on marketing and even how to build a personal brand using technology. I'm obsessed with Skillshare because it's really for anyone that's trying to better themselves,

get better at their job, or hone in on their professional skill set. So if you're looking to start a side hustle, I know a lot of you guys in the skinny confidential secret Facebook group talk about the side hustle or you just want to explore a new passion like photography or video editing, Skillshare is for you. So join the millions of students already learning Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners. Get two months of Skillshare for just 99 cents. That's right. Skillshare is offering the Skinny Confidential, him and her listeners, two months of unlimited access to over 20,000 classes for just 99 cents. To sign up, go to Skillshare.com slash skinny. Again, go to

Skillshare.com slash skinny to start your two months of learning now. That's Skillshare.com slash skinny. So do you guys have any regrets when it comes to the way you've built your brand? I don't know if regret is the right word. I wish we had shifted some of our efforts into social platforms earlier than we did. Part of it was when Emily first got a mobile phone, it was an Android, and there was no Instagram available for Android. But that's a minor, great. But I think our brand has evolved to the point where there's a different business model that we're working on than existed eight years, nine or ten years ago. and I'm more excited about what's coming as opposed to looking back and thinking, oh, darn, we missed something. So you're just like Michael and I, you're a bigger picture, she's more detail. I don't look back in the past.

I like that. How has the pressure of putting your life out there impacted your life? Like, you know, a lot of people here know I'm a behind the scenes person. You might not believe that now. But when Lauren threw me out to all of her audience, it was something that I never anticipated. I've had to address. Like, how has that impacted? throw you out to my audience. I had jaw search.

And so she had to turn the camera for a while. But I never anticipated that. And I never anticipated doing something like this. So I was wondering, like, how it's impacted your relationship. Nobody really knows me still. I mean, I have a very small presence. So for me, the impact has been minimal. I've had, I've been more active lately, but I don't see any negative repercussions. But you can answer that as well. Yeah, no. I mean, I think that Jeffries always kind of had some say and thing.

you know, if I was writing things, I would talk about, especially because I just have always shared so much of my life. So if I was talking about the process when we first got engaged or when we moved into a place together or when I got pregnant, you know, those are things that I always shared. So to me, he was always kind of alongside of me, even though I was kind of the forward-facing person of the brand. Okay. So do you guys believe in love at first sight? And did you have love at first sight? I'm telling you. I saw Lauren. But Emily actually.

One right answer here, Jeffrey. Only one right. Well, this is the podcast. So I did. She came into my office. I saw her. I was thunderstruck. And I was like, wow, this is a stunning woman.

And maybe she liked me. She didn't. I was wearing a, it was like this time of year, it was very hot. I was wearing a Searsucker suit. And for whatever batteries, I made that decision. and she didn't think much of me. We had lunch with some other clients, and I was surprised she even returned my call the next time.

I actually thought a lot about you, but I just didn't know if you liked me. Right. But yeah, I mean, I do believe in love at first sight, and it was one of those things that when I first started talking to Jeffrey, I was always trying to find excuses to reach out to him. He was one of my clients, and so I was always like, hey, just making sure everything's good.

Like, I was really bad at that particular job, and so that was the only thing. I was really good at following up with everything on his, you know, with that. But right away, I mean, I met Jeffrey when I was 24, and I was like, this is not a guy that I just want to have like a relationship with a year. Like, this is the guy that I see myself marrying. If you were giving young couples some advice, what's the biggest piece of advice? I know that's a really broad question.

It might take some time to kind of hone it in. But like, what is the biggest thing that you think has made your relationship work this long? I think just it's all about communication. So it's about talking to each other. it's about being a good listener, so not just kind of hearing what they say, but like to really listen and... Oh, we're in trouble. We're done. We're done. Call it. No, keep going. I'm serious. Keep going. I'm a listening thing. But for us, I think communication has been everything. So if someone has done something messed up and hurt the other person's feelings, or if you're giving positive praise, I think it all, at least for me, comes down to communication. I want to talk about the pressure of putting your life online. Because there is pressure. I mean, I feel it. Oh, yeah.

Michael feels it. How is that sort of impacted your relationship? I can speak, I guess, to you or for you. Emily's not a huge public person. So this role that she's taken on this job is the antithesis of who she is as an individual. And it's made her, I mean, candidly, I've seen it, have self-doubt, have at times a lower sense of self in general. It hits her on an emotional level that I don't relate to because I'm not in this. position, but it's hard as a husband to see her have these moments of, you know, self-hatred,

if you will, and just not being her best self to herself. And that's the challenge I see from my perspective of her. Yeah, and I think it's one of those things that I feel like, again, I come across a certain way that people assume that I've got it together and I'm balancing. People are always like, how do you balance it all? And I think it's only within the last few months, really, that I've kind of been opening up more. I feel like Insta Stories has been a really wonderful platform for that. To kind of share some of my anxiety and, you know, self-doubt. And it's also just actually really liberating.

For, again, for such an introverted private person, it's very intimidating to kind of share just such vulnerable moments with strangers, essentially. And so, but opening up has made me realize that I'm not the only one going through it and that it really doesn't matter where you are in your life, in your career, that everyone struggles with doubt. And so I think having such a public-facing persona has been one of kind of the scarier things, but it's brought about really good things for me. I always say you have to get uncomfortable to become comfortable. A hundred percent. What does influence mean to both you guys? I think for me, I take my role as kind of influencer very, I don't know, I take it to heart in that I really

try to always do what's right by both my, for me and my audience. I think as long as that's kind of your guiding light, if you will. I mean, I think I try to do things, I try to lead a life that I try to be proud of. And if I'm influencing people in how they're dressing or how they do their hair or, I don't know, their relationship, whatever it is, I think that's the most important thing for me. I always wanted to be a teacher when I was a kid. So I look at it as like, how can I share information? How can I share something that I'm passionate about or just really informative pieces? And while I don't have, you know, the reach, I feel like my take is if you watch something I do, you're going to get something from it, either a lesson, a tip, a tip or something. So that's my influence. Where do you guys think this industry is going in the next five years? I don't know. I do think, you know, the mobile experience is just going to increase.

I mean, people pick up their fund. There's a staty the other day in the New York Times, like 2,000 times a day, which seemed impossible. But they're touching it 2,000 times a day. So I think this piece of plastic and metal that's in our hand is so vital to our day-to-day and how we consume content, I think it's just whoever comes up the next kind of attachment or some kind of virtual representation of that personalization, whether it's glasses, or a ring or some kind of, you know, projection thing in front of you. The content will always flow where I think the platforms move, and that's where I see it. It's sight, sound motion in a more abstract way. Last question before we get into rapid fire questions. Rapid fire.

Rapid fire. What's a book, a resource, a podcast that you would recommend to everyone out here? Something that you guys love that's made all the difference maybe in your business. I feel bad stealing this one because, and it's not really a podcast, but we both listen to Howard Stern. and I learned about him from... We all do. We all do.

But I give Jeffrey full credit because before him I was like, that guy's so gross. He like just talks to porn stars all day. He's like the single best interviewer. And so that, I mean, I would say that's one of my favorite resources that I'll listen to. I listen to old kid rock and Howard Stern interviews

last night until like 4 a.m. And not by chance. I have the app and I agree. It's great. How often do you listen to Howard Stern? because I feel like you're taking Howard Sterling on me. Yeah, it's like he has these noise-canceling headphones. It's like you're in a relationship with Howard Stern.

I'm in a... Yeah, we all are. I'll let you do the rapid-fire questions. Favorite cocktail, go. Hendrix Martini. Negroni. Why? Because it's bittersweet and balanced perfectly.

I don't have a reason. It gets me a nice buzz. Just gets you going. Yeah. Biggest pet peeve. Unsolicited advice. For me, it's being. touched with wet hands.

Sweaty hands? No. Oh, God, that's way worse. Wet. Anything wet? If, like, Jeffrey's just, like, washed a dish or something, and he's like, hey, babe, no, I will, like, just shrink into the ground. But, like, sweaty is a whole different ballgame. That's disgusting.

Wait, his hands are always wet, though, because you don't do the dishes, so he's doing them. Fair point. Where is the worst place you could get stuck? In a cave. Sorry, you guys. Like, the recent events have made. me realize that is my single biggest fear. Yeah. I don't like an elevator. If I was like in, you know, the 50th floor stuck between

two floors, it'd be kind of bad. My dad was actually stuck in an elevator in the 1989 earthquake in San Francisco. Crazy story. Yeah, he was like on the floor, like had to climb out between floors. Like, yeah. That sounds horrific. Biggest nightmare. I feel like mine's an Uber where they don't stop talking, you know. Have you done the thing where you'll pretend to be on a call? I've done so many things. I pretended to be death once. I'll tell you how to do it You know those little air buds? Everyone on the office always gives me a hard time

for wearing the earbuds. But I put them in and they're not always playing but if I get in an Uber and the guy gets a little chatty and it gets a little too chatty. You do the little point to your ear. I'm just like... And you do that way. I do the point to the phone.

Sorry. Yeah. And it's really my dad. Listen, you want to be nice and you want to talk but at the same time like you want to just... You want to get where you're going. I want to get where you going. Yeah.

That's a good answer. Okay. This is more for Emily. What's your, favorite latest go-to beauty product, and we want you to get so specific. The Laura Mercier sticks. This is what I'm wearing right now, and I actually combined two colors. This is Fab and another one.

Maybe you can put it on your Insta story later? I'll put it on my Insta story. I think I even answered this question last night on Insta, just because people have been wanting to know. But they go on, they make your lips just the tiniest bit dry, but you can literally eat like 17 meals and it doesn't budge. Looks really good. Thank you. What is the first thing that you notice about the opposite sex?

And Michael, we aren't asking you. That was my question. I know, I stole it. First thing. The first thing about the opposite. I mean, chest. Michael said cannons. I was like, I mean, canons.

You're not 51. Like, please. Like, say boobs. I mean, we are at the grove. The chest was really lovely. I was like, you've never used that word ever. To describe myself, yes, I have used that word. For me, height.

Oh, great. Oh, no, no. She'll talk about, like, you know, certain people like, he's sick. Her biggest thing is Googling height. How tall is X, Y, and Z? Usually, I'm within one inch. So if you ask me, like, pretty much any celebrity, and don't put me on the spot because I feel like that'll do it right now,

test it out. She's pretty good. But, like, I'm pretty, like, you know, and then I'll Google it. Most Google searches start with how tall is. Howard Stern. Six, five. Oh, okay. Mine's probably hair.

line. I love a good hair line. I also like skin lately and your skincare routine has been really, really great. Michael, look at you. It looks good. Jeffrey, we can talk off. Please, I need some tips because he told you today that he does a seven-step skin routine. I'm like, wow, you're like Korean beauty. Thank you. Everyone wants you to come on my name to tell. It's like out of like American Psycho. Yeah. He loves Dr. Dennis. It is American. You kind of have a Christian Bale thing. I mean, all right. He loves it. As long as it, it depends what movie you're referring to. There's like the machinist when he's really not looking at. not the goal. He's playing Dick Cheney in his next movie. If you're going

that direction, I'm going to jump off the stage. But there are some good ones. Sometimes we get seated at a better table because people think he's Christian Bale. Sometimes. You could play that up a little more. Okay. Who normally wins in an argument? There are no winners in an argument. Only losers. What a good answer. I think that's a cute answer, but I really do think we really, like, I teed it up and you're like knocking it down. I couldn't, I couldn't agree more. Like, really, we come to a good place. We both apologize. we both mean it. We're not just saying it. We're not just being passive-aggressive, which is

something I've struggled with my whole life. No, but I really do feel like we don't go to bed angry. We just come to like a nice place. Jeffrey and I, I will say, for as frequent as the little fights and arguments are, because I feel like mainly, I would say 95% of our arguments are due to work stuff. We always get to a good place. We're really good at comparizing. The therapy helps. We've been in one long argument since sixth grade, and nobody's won yet. We're going to see how it ends. No, I win everything all the time.

I don't care. I'm always the winner. We recover quickly, but I still win. But what do you actually win? I mean, I just do this thing where I ignore. Like, I'll go real silent, like, deathening silent. My friend Jackie, I don't know if she's here right now, of the Bitch Bible, told me to play the Gone Girl soundtrack in the back.

I'll play it soft on Alexa and just be dead silent. And I'll go, I can go silent for like three days. That makes, that's hard for me to believe. If we wake up in the morning and I've been misbehaving, no, nothing. I'll do that thing where I kind of like touch her tight, like, just a little bit to see how mad she is. He gauges it. I gauge it.

And then I, it's like, it's like, if I get a smack, then I know I'm in trouble. You know what, I got to keep it fun. We got to keep it spicy. Okay. Those are a rapid fire questions. we're going to do a listener Q&A. Are we okay with The Fountain? How do you stay so fit

when a lot of your work revolves around cupcakes? For me, it's all about balance. And I do have a lot of sweets. That's like my favorite thing in the world. But if I'm having, like, ice cream in the evening, I really just try to have a very light breakfast, like a modest lunch. Can you give us specifics on exactly what breakfast is,

like exactly even how many eggs you have? No breakfast. 100%. So I either do no breakfast and I'll just do coffee and whole milk and then another one like a little bit later with more whole milk. I find that if I have just like a lot of whole milk, that'll like get me. If I have breakfast at like 6 a.m., I'm hungry again at 8. So for me I've just been kind of, Jeffrey and I've been doing that kind of like fasting is not

the right word, but kind of like in the morning. We just won't really have anything until lunch. So I'll have a modest lunch. We usually have like a salmon bowl with rice and cucumber, kale. It's like not fun. But just so that then I can have fun at night. And I like to have rosé or a martini, that kind of thing. But I think a lot of it also comes down to genetics.

And we did that like 23 and me thing. And it was predisposed for me to weigh less. I played a ton of sports growing up. But for the most part, I do find that it's like a bit of a balancing. Working out? No. Wow. God, God. But I need to get back into it for the mental health aspect of it. But for the most part, you know, I try to go on walks, but I have not found a routine that I can stick with. I actually have been trying intermittent fasting for the last two months. I haven't talked about it publicly because I like to try stuff for a long time. But I love it because I feel it takes the pressure off you in the morning and then I can eat what I want later. I feel the same way, especially because for me, again, like, if I eat early in the morning,

I have, like, four meals by lunch, whereas if I kind of don't think about it, it also then just, like, I have different kind of energy because I just have, like, coffee pulsing through my veins. I don't know. It's been working for me, too. I'm, like, really happy with it, but I've also been waiting to, like, see just because I also don't want to sound like one of those girls that, like, doesn't eat because that's furthest, like, couldn't be further from the truth.

Yeah, and it's giving your digestion a break. So basically what I do is because I eat later. I'll stop eating at nine or 10. And then sometimes I won't eat until one, which sounds nuts. But it's actually, and I've been doing it for two months, so I can say this. For me, it's actually sort of working because I don't have to think about breakfasts. I can do coffee and almond milk, and I do like a fiber powder, tons of water with lemon. And then one o'clock comes, and I just really give myself fiber and protein and lots of greens.

And then at night, I sort of eat what I want. You can have a cocktail, and then you're done, and you don't have to take the thinking out of it. Yeah, exactly. And Michael told me the other day, he goes, I've been intermittent fasting my whole life. Michael's a trendsetter. Head of the curve. Head of the curve. If we have any more questions.

Hi. What's your favorite personal development book? Jeffrey. Hello. Thank you. Actually, I read a recent book by, I think his name is pronounced John Doer, Dure called Measure What Matters. And it's more of a business book, actually.

But the principle, he was an early investor in Google. And I think maybe the first. big investor. And it wasn't about personal development per se, but the premise was setting kind of these goals, these, who is it, key personal identifiers, or KPIs, basically. And it kind of made me rethink how I approach myself and my work and my business. And it led me to finding this actual new journal by Best Selfco, where every day I have my schedule, but also at the bottom of the page, there are at the morning you talk about three things you're grateful for so even though it's a business book you kind of take your mind out of it and think okay I'm grateful for these three things this morning

and then at the end of the day you write three things you're grateful for at night so the principles are work is busy you measure a lot of things but take a step back and reminisce about what is good in life for those three things and usually it's the same thing for me it's like I'm happy for my family's health and for you know my my wife and my child but it could change and it's it's not just about consuming, you know, content or creating work all day. It's reflecting on your own self and giving that kind of, I think, comfort. I have to shout out, awaken the giant within. I talk about this a lot. I love, love, love that book because I feel like it talks to you about how you have a choice to create your own future and you can either let your past fuel you or victimize you,

and it's life-changing if you guys are looking for a personal development book. And I feel like you have a couple up your sleeve. I always, I think self-awareness is a real thing. Is that a book called Self-awareness? No, it's a universal concept. It's a universal concept. Are you going to write it? There's a book, it's really short.

You could read it in probably an hour. It's called Managing One Self by Peter Drucker, and I think that's really good place to start for personal development. And then I really like a book called Poor Charlie's Almanac by Charlie Munger. He's Warren Buffett's partner. And I think that gives you a lot of really good life lessons and just how to compose yourself and how to act as a human being and how to act with honor. And so that's a book that I read.

recommend all the time as well. I feel awkward that I'm the only one that does not read these books. Recommend a murder mystery. I basically, all I read are murder mysteries. I love all of them. If it has the word like, girl in the blank, she's like, oh, I'm not reading today. I've read it. Yeah, I've read it. I've loved it. Yeah, that's pretty much what I read exclusively. You have to send me your list because you said you would, and then I'll put it on my Instagram stories sharing it with everyone. I just recently made like a whole highlight within Insta stories because it's one of the things. that I get asked most frequently. And I have so many books, I tear through them, but they're all so good.

Do we have time for one more question, page? Yeah. More questions. How do you balance being a mom and running your business? Because you said you have a daughter, and I'm sure she takes up a good amount of time, being a mom myself. So how do you balance and find time to allocate to being a mom? Yeah, so that's one of the harder balancing acts, just coming home from a day at work and then just kind of turning that off and then being a mom.

But it's also helped me compartmentalize and like Jeffrey was saying, really focus on what's important because nothing else matters, kind of, you know, friends, family, like that's all that really matters to me. I really try to set boundaries so that when I'm at work, I'm not just kind of hanging out looking at pictures and videos of her, which is hard to do because she's really cute and I like to go through those things. things. And likewise, when, you know, so I'm at work, I try to really focus simply on work, whereas at home, she's my focus. I want to be doing, having dance parties with her and reading to her, and just also so that she feels like she's a priority in my life. So the balance isn't always easy, but like Jeffrey said, what we're doing isn't, it's not brain surgery. And so if there's an email that needs to be responded to, she goes to bed pretty early, so I can answer it at 7.30 as soon as she's down. It's hard with smartphones because everything is so easy. You can just kind of do a quick

email. I certainly do that sometimes and she's even said, Mommy, get off your phone. And that's like the best reminder for me. I'm like, yep, okay, point taken. And sometimes I just put the phone in another room so I'm not even tempted by it and I can just focus my attention on her. So I would like to ask, so like for someone who's starting out or anything like that, like there's so many platforms for like building your brand or your content or whatever there's like instagram youtube amazon like i mean the list goes on with so many things like and it takes it has to be so overwhelming like where do you tell people to like focus i guess like where they should be focusing about should we be focusing more on like instagram and instagram tv or should we focus more on youtube

like what really i guess like builds it more or should we be doing both i always say if i was starting out I would get so, so, so niche and start an Instagram account called, like, that Target girl. And I've talked about this a lot on the podcast. I think someone actually started the Instagram account, which is amazing. And I would get so niche and I would just share all my clothes on Instagram from Target. And my goal would be is to potentially have partnerships with Target and then maybe do my own line at Target, but really just hone in on that niche and micro blog through Instagram. I think nowadays, Emily and I started, I mean, I started eight years ago, you started 10.

And we started out when blogging was like the Wild Wild West, and it's changed and it's evolved. And I think as creators, if you're starting out now, you need to really be paying attention to the evolution. And I believe if I was starting out, I would micro blog through Instagram. I would use Instagram stories to growth hack to my Instagram. And then I would definitely be using IGTV. I think YouTube is extremely overwhelming and you really have to be a practitioner of it. I would start more just with Instagram and really micro blog and not try to just get everything at once. I have just two cents on this.

I think a lot of people overwhelm themselves because they think, you know, there's Instagram, there's Instagram TV, there's YouTube, there's Facebook, there's blogs. And so you figure like you have to do everything. For me, at this point now, I would consider myself a podcast. content creator. And it was easy for me and Lauren because I enjoy podcasting. I really enjoy talking to people. If you guys don't

know this already, I like, I enjoy talking. And I think whatever medium you're going to choose, you have to really enjoy doing. And you shouldn't do it just because everybody, like, if you don't like taking pictures and creating content on Instagram, maybe that's not the best strategy to start. When we started our podcast, I said, this could be something really interesting because we both enjoy conversation. We both enjoy

talking to people when I thought it was something that I could dedicate a lot of my time to. So I guess my two cents there is pick a medium where you really enjoy creating the content and then focus on that. And over time, you can expand into other things. But if you try to do everything at once out the gate, it's really difficult and overwhelming. And I wouldn't recommend it. I want to hear what you guys say on this as well. I mean, just the simple play to your strength. I mean, not everybody's good at everything. And it seems like, oh, I have to do everything out there. But, you know, if you're a great writer, right? If you're a great photographer, shoot photographs. If you're great on camera, then speak to the camera and

create video content. You don't have to be all things to all people because earlier I think we talked about this. If you try to please everyone, you please no one. You know, find your strength, pick your lane and, you know, find your niche and drive that, drive hard against that. Is it niche or niche? Can we please hear this? What is it? I say niche. Is that bad? I go niche. I go niche, but you know, whatever. Neesh sounds very French, so I feel like you need to switch it to that. We try to be really fancy. Okay. Find your groove and there's a groove, right? And, and, And just play that strength.

Don't try to be everything. Find your grove. Tonight it's grove. Find your slice. Hi, Lauren. Hello. Nice meeting you at Alfred the other day, by the way. So my question is, you create a lot of wonderful products on your blog.

Where do you discover these products? Because some of them are just so random, like the yellow glasses and stuff like that. I am very, very random. I try to look at white space. I'm always looking at what people maybe aren't thinking of, whether that's an acupressure pillow or an ice roller or a jaw bra. If you don't know what that is, it's like this ice thing that you put around your jaw that makes you not be swollen. I like to find things that other people aren't talking about, and I like to use them over and over and over to the point where it's obnoxious and then share it with the audience. I don't put anything on my blog that I don't use all the time.

I mean, sure, I can talk about a serum. Like, yeah. But what can I talk about that's really different and sort of a plot twist? And how can I introduce it to people in a way that they want to incorporate it into their lives? Meaning, like, I'll give you an example, like sunscreen. Like, we all try to use sunscreen, I hope. But I found this sunscreen that was caffeinated sunscreen. And what that did is it tightens your skin and tightens your pores.

And so when you lay makeup on top of it, you just have this really, super tight, flawless canvas. And that was something that I was really, really excited to share with the audience. Stuff like that really gets me off. I think that's sort, I would probably say that's one of my favorite parts of the job. And it was very nice to meet you at Alphonse. Thank you. Guys, don't forget to check out our new podcast site. Don't mean to brag. It's looking so cute. All of the show notes from this episode and all the other episodes can be found there. It's, again, keeping it streamlined. It's a really awesome research. source that highlights all the insane people we've talked to. We also have all the different books

and resources that they've recommended as well as things that we've recommended. And it has a section for new listeners trying to get caught up to speed. So check it out. That's tscpodcast.com. As always, to win five of my favorite beauty products, simply tell me your favorite part of this episode on my latest Instagram and I will DM you and get your address to send you some very TSC-esque goodies. Thank you. you guys for listening. If you rate and review the podcast, please screenshot it, email it to ask Lauren, Lauren with a Y, at the skinny confidential.com, and we will send you my top beauty hacks straight to your inbox. And we will see you Thursday because, as you know, every other Thursday,

there's an extra episode. This episode was brought to by Four Sigmaatic, one of our favorite companies in the world. We interviewed Tarot, the founder of the show and had to bring the brand on board as a partner. 4-Sigmatic specializes in superfoods, medicinal mushrooms, and adaptogenic herbs. And they make drinking mushrooms and superfoods delicious and easy to do with their mushroom coffees, mushroom coffers, mushroom superfood blends, and mushroom elixirs. If you're looking for a coffee alternative to switch up your caffeine intake, 4Sigmatic has the blends for you. They're delicious. I use them almost every day.

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