The Bossticks - #129: Rachel Hollis - Prioritizing Time & Maximizing Results, Childhood Trauma, Work/Life Balance, Mommy Shaming, How To Say No, & The Adoption Process

Episode Date: August 9, 2018

On this episode we have Best Selling Author & Entrepreneur Rachel Hollis in the studio. This conversation is another wide spanning conversation covering: prioritizing time & maximizing results, childhood trauma, work/life balance, mommy shaming, wasted time and wasted energy. How to say NO, appreciation vs expectation, fear of what others think, scarcity mindset vs abundance mindset and the adoption process. To connect with Rachel Hollis click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) For Detailed Show Notes click HERE  This episode was brought to you by Grove Collaborative.   Grove Collaborative offers healthy alternatives to household supplies and we use it for all of our cleaning supplies. To try grove collaborative go to www.grove.co/skinny Listeners will receive 30 dollars in free supplies a special gift and a 60 day VIP membership.    This episode is brought to you by Liquid I.V.  Liquid I.V. is the great-tasting, portable powder drink mix that is changing the way the world hydrates. The hydration multiplier uses the breakthrough science of Cellular Transport Technology (CTT) to deliver hydration to the bloodstream faster and more efficiently than water alone. Liquid I.V. contains three times the electrolytes of leading sports drinks and is free from preservatives, artificial sweeteners or colors. Go to www.liquid-iv.com and ENTER PROMO CODE SKINNY15 AT CHECKOUT TO RECEIVE 15% OFF YOUR ORDER

The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by Liquid Ivy, the insane tasting and portable powder drink mix. So basically, Liquid Ivy is changing and enhancing the way we hydrate. Liquid Ivy uses breakthrough cellular transport technology, also known as CTT to deliver hydration to the bloodstream faster and more efficiently than just water alone. I like to use this during and after a workout. For those of you who want to try it with me, the team at Liquid Ivy is offering all of our

listeners 15% off at checkout when you enter the code Skinny 15. Definitely try this too. If you're jet lagged or hungover, you won't be sorry, guys. So go to liquid dash iv.com and enter code Skinny 15 at checkout to try this product. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. I have a high school diploma. I did not go to college.

I don't have resources. I didn't have access. I didn't have money. I didn't come from a family that had any of those things. The only thing that I had is I will outwork you. I will be the first one there. I will be the last one to leave. I will do whatever needs to be done to get the job done, to get the next client,

to get the resources, to get. I have always been that way. is the only thing that could level the playing field with me and other people who were, who had all those things I didn't have. So I just, I'm so passionate about the idea of hard work. And hard work means that you're going to have to give up some stuff that you might rather be doing right now. It's like that quote that's like, I'm going to, you're going to live life in a certain way.

Or you're going to live life in a way that other people won't. You can have a life that other people can't. Clear the pipes. Clear the pipes. Here we go. One two, one two. Lauren, sound check. Can you hear me?

I can hear you, Michael. We are live broadcasting. Here we go, everybody. Whoa. Is my radio voice? Is your baby Botox wearing off? Go ahead, one, two, three. One, two, three.

I think it wore off. I think my body digested it. Huh, okay. Dr. D might have to come back, see you again. Welcome back to the show, everybody. Here we are. That clip was from our guest of the show today, best-selling author and entrepreneur,

Rachel Hollis. On this episode, we discussed prioritizing your time to maximize results, the adoption process, overcoming childhood trauma, how to say no, a scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset, and mommy shaming. For those of you who are new to the show, I'm Lauren Everett's, the creator of the skinny confidential. And I am Michael Bostic. I am a business operator, entrepreneur, rock star husband, rock star co-host, feeling froggy today. Had an espresso shot at 5 p.m. Probably not a great idea. You also had a Coca-Cola too. And I'm Jack

up. Ouch. But you know what? I thought I would need it because last night I got four hours of sleep. That's a whole other story. But now I'm thinking I screwed myself because I'm going to be up all night. Great. Can we?

Hyper. Ready to go. We can watch Sopranos though. So there's that. I'm going to chloroform you tonight. I honestly welcome. It could use a good chloroform. Knock me out.

Speaking of chloroform or house hunting. House hunting. You know what? I'm pretty much done house hunting in this weather. It's way too hot. We're trying to, you know, we have the condo up here in L.A. As many of you know, we're up here in L. full time now working and we're moving out of San Diego it looks like but we still live in San Diego

people are asking me questions on Instagram so we have at this point it's just like a very overpriced storage unit so we have no we have a house in San Diego that's our house storage unit that I'm referring to and then we have a small condo in L.A. that we use when we come up here but now we're up here so much that we've been living out of this condo and right now we have Taylor and Mimi here with us and we need to find more space yeah no I need to get a new place and I have a list of demands that are pretty specific, okay? I want bright light, lots of light, needs to be light everywhere. I don't love carpet, okay, Michael, I don't ask for much with that.

I want a bright light bathroom. I'd love a bathtub, maybe a fireplace, if I'm being honest. Love maybe like a bar area. And I would love the kitchen to be Matt White. Yeah, okay, so I'll just build a new house. Anyways, I can't keep house hunting in this heat. Anybody, if there's anybody out there listening, just find us a house. If you're a broker, send us recommendations.

Or a gravesite. You know what Lauren likes, L.A. brokers, if you're listening. I also need the backyard to be completely, like, we can't have the Chihuahuas getting out, you know, so there can't be any holes anywhere. I'm specific. While we're on the subject, let's talk about household cleaning supplies. You know what I'm thrilled about, Michael Bostic? No, Lauren.

What are you thrilled about? Fall, okay? Fall? That's not what I was going to guess, but okay. Yes, I'm thrilled about fall. I mean, I know it's summertime right now, but it's so hot out. and we're all melting and fall is around the corner, okay? Nothing screams fall more than pumpkin.

And don't mean to brag, but I just picked up Mrs. Myers' latest products and guess what their scents are, okay, guys? Pumpkin spice. What is up with all the girls loving the pumpkin spice? They took a play out of the coffee playbook. Don't screw around. Not only do they have pumpkin spice, guys, they have maple and nutmeg, okay? And you know where I got them.

I got them from my favorite place online to scroarrow. up cleaning supplies, natural cleaning supplies, Grove collaborative. So I started using Mrs. Myers products when I was living alone, like 10 years ago. And when I moved in with Michael, I strategically moved all his chemically products out of the way and moved in my Mrs. Myers products. Okay. I love their laundry detergent. I love their air freshener. You should also know that they have a radish and honeysuckle scent, okay? I get all these products on grove.com. It makes the whole buying natural cleaning supplies so, so seamless. You know, I love seamless.

I'm very, very serious about this, guys. Grove makes everything easy to discover the best non-toxic products. So when I shop on grove.com, I'm confident that I'm selecting the items that are good for me, my home, and the planet, Pixie and Boone, too. Plus, none of their products are tested on animals, which we love. Here's the deal. I'm busy, you're busy, we're all busy. So to have one spot to grab all your natural cleaning supplies,

is amazing. So basically, like I said, it's all my home essentials in one spot, and they do the work for you because it's all natural. They also price match, which is insane, so you know you're getting the best deals. Here's how it works. You get 100 customizable auto shipments on your schedule, so edit, pause, and cancel at any time. Free shipping and returns, which we love, and 100% happiness guarantee. If you haven't already tried Grove, you guys have to try it today, get that pumpkin pie spice, Ms. Myers. And for a limited time, our listeners who sign up, get in a amazing $30 gift set, a free 60-day VIP membership and a bonus gift just for you when you sign up and place an order of $20 or more. So check out Grove and our special offer at grove.com

slash skinny. That's grove.com, not dot com slash skinny. Guys have been doing it all wrong hanging out of the bars. All they got to do is hang a little pumpkin spice out of their pocket, stand on the street corner and get all the girls. Hang a little pumpkin spice out of their pocket. It's like a fly catch. Don't get any ideas. I don't want to see anything hanging out of your pocket. All right. Let's meet Rachel. Rachel Hollis is a bestselling author, TV personality, in-demand speaker, and founder and CEO of Sheik Media. She's also a mother of four and a total badass.

Rachel's tell it like it is attitude is a refreshing approach that allows her to authentically connect with millions of women around the world. Her blog, The Sheik site chronicles everything from recipes to styling advice on a budget to parenting tips that she's learned on the job, plus more. Rachel's new book, Girl Wash Your Face, is currently crushing it with over half a million copies sold. I think it's currently number one on Amazon's most sold top charts. Let's help it stay there, guys. With that, welcome Rachel to the Him and Her show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Okay, Rachel, let's hop right into it. So you talk a lot about time. Time is money, and I think it's our most important asset. What's the vibe?

on the whole I don't have time thing like what's your vibe on that it drives me insane I can't I mean just as a point of reference I have four kids you guys that's a lot of yeah a lot of freaking kids four kids is the same as a thousand kids in case you're wondering in terms of the amount of effort it takes holy shit I know um running a business with a staff of 10 working 60 hours a week I just released my sixth book. My seventh will come out next month. When do you find time to do all these things? When do you find time to chase your goals? People ask me that all of the time. And it drives me insane because we all have the same amount of hours. It's just how are you choosing to use yours? I haven't watched TV in a decade. I cannot tell you a single thing that's happening on any sort of Netflix,

anything because I would love to know what this is us is all about I would love to know how great that show is everyone talks about it but what I would love more is to have another book what I would love more is to train for a marathon what I would love more are all of these different things and goals that I set for myself so for me it's you know success is the difference between um choosing between what you want right now and what you want most what you want now is to stay in bed what you want now is to lay around what you want now is to watch this show but what do you want most. So don't tell me that you don't have time. Let's figure out how we can better utilize the time that we've got. You know, when you take a drink of something, you go, ah, that's how I want

to be like, that's refreshing, right? It's refreshing. Yeah. No, because we talk about this, we talk about this a lot and I think that you, you touched on it multiple times is that if you prioritize the things that you want later in life, you'll get them. It's just not prioritizing those things in the short term is what makes, it's what holds you back. Absolutely. Because everybody does have the same amount of time, And it drives me nuts when people say, oh, well, this person started here or this person started there. It's like, yes, those are all factors. But you can get whatever you want if you put in the time and if you prioritize right.

Yeah, I think when I look at my career, I've been an entrepreneur for 14 years and the success that I've had over that time, I have a high school diploma. I did not go to college. I don't have resources. I didn't have access. I didn't have money. I didn't come from a family that had any of those things. The only thing that I had.

is I will outwork you. I will be the first one there. I will be the last one to leave. I will do whatever needs to be done to get the job done, to get the next client, to get the resources, to get, I have always been that way. It was the only thing that could level the playing field with me and other people who were, who had all those things I didn't have. So I just, I'm so passionate about the idea of hard work. And hard work means that you're going to have to give up some stuff that you might rather be doing right now. It's like that quote that's, like I'm going to you're going to live life in a certain way or you're going to live life in a way that other people won't so you can have a life that other people can't what are some sacrifices

that you've made gosh what a good question time with my kids time with my husband time to relax and rest that's the hardest thing for me I don't know if you guys struggle with that as an entrepreneur and you're building this business but um it's the question I get most often like how do you rest tidy, I'm like, I don't know what that means. I really struggle with it because it's like your greatest strength is your greatest weakness and mine is I can outwork you, but then the weakness is I don't know how to shut that off. So I think sometimes that has manifested in issues with my health or pushing too hard, not getting enough sleep or anxiety. There's a lot of things that I've had to navigate or weigh against, I'm going to put in this time, but it's not without, like every yes

that you give is a no to something else. And I think it's only in the last handful of years that I've really understood. You've got to make sure that the thing you're saying yes to is worth what you're going to have to give up in the interim. Well, it's a really self-aware way to be, right? A lot of people say work, work, work, and they don't understand the toll it takes on the other side, right?

Or they say rest, rest, rest, rest, and then they don't understand the other side. So it's, it comes down to what you really want in light. Like, if you're happy making those sacrifices, and that's what truly makes you happy, the entrepreneurial journey and success, however you define it, then it's fine, right? Where I think people, where this message of work, work, work gets people in trouble is if you don't really want those things and you're just trying to do them because, you know, somebody said I have to outwork you or I have to hustle, hustle, hustle.

You know, not everyone has to do that. Some people are fine. Or if you're sitting around complaining about it. Yeah. I believe if you want the things in life that you want and that I want and I believe Lorne wants, then yes, you have to make those sacrifices and you can't have it both ways. I want to go back to where this started. How did you grow up?

What's your childhood? So I grew up in Bakersfield, California, which is about two hours north of here, and feels very much like you picked up a West Texas town and dropped it into California. So huge ag culture, farmers, everyone drives a truck and wears Wranglers. My family on both sides was from Oklahoma. So I have a very southern-minded culture on both sides of my family. Really hard childhood. lots of trauma. Parents, marriage, absolute disaster for as long as I can remember,

you know, knock down, drag out, punch holes in the wall, those kind of fights. Between your parents. And I was the baby of four kids and was also very independent. So I can look back now as a mother and think, well, were you independent or were you just, it wasn't necessary for you to take care of yourself because there was nobody else to do it. So by the time it got around to raising me, I think my parents were so wrapped up in their own stuff that I was largely ignored. So I really raised myself from a very early age.

And I'm a big believer that life isn't happening to you. It's happening for you. So I'm able to look back on that childhood and go, okay, that stuff was hard. But the good things that came out of it were, I am super. independent. I can figure things out. I can get stuff done. Do you guys do anagram? Do you know your eneagram numbers? What? What? What's that? We can tangent. You want a tangent per second? Holy crap. Oh my gosh. Inneagram. I don't know what that is. It's E-N-N-E-A-G-R-A-M. If anyone wants to look it up. It's been around since like ancient Greece. So it's personality types divided

into numbers. Oh, yeah, I thought about this, but I've never done it. Yeah, Google it like free EnneagramTest.com. What if mine's six, six, six? I mean, it's one. It's one. It's number. But it's so, so interesting. So my number is three, which is an achiever. An achiever is typically made in the exact kind of childhood that I had, which was I was largely ignored unless I did something good. If I got an A on the test or I scored a goal in the soccer game or I got a part in

the play, then I got praise. And to a little kid, praise looks like love. So can you tell I've done a lot of things? therapy and a lot of I'm like let me just walk you through um so for me I learned at a really early age that or I believed that in order to be loved you had to you had to perform so that's why you know shot out of the gate I graduated high school a year early in an attempt to try and get out of the chaos that our family home was and moved to Los Angeles at 17 got a job at Miramax films back when working at Miramax meant or meant something and just worked my butt off just

worked my bed. I've had my older sister's ID because I was at that point when I got the job was 18, but I had Melody's ID. So I was old enough to like go get a drink with the people after nobody knew my age. And I just, it was a, it was kind of the Wild Wild West in a production company that you could potentially pull that off if you're willing to, you know, make $12 an hour and not get paid overtime. And it was, I was a country mouse. I was this little chubby girl in her pay less shoes who all of a sudden found. herself working, you know, the Oscar after party and movie premieres and press junkets. And I was exposed to events through that and started to, just like naive and dumb enough to think,

like, I can probably do this myself. And I decided to start an event planning company. So fast forward to, I'm 21, 20, yeah, 21, and newly married. and I quit my job on a Friday afternoon, was working at a different production house at that point, quit my job and decided to start this event planning company on Monday morning and just hustled. Like no other way to like just please God send me one client.

My only mission was I had left a job that made $38,000 and I just wanted to make at least $38,000. To make up for the income. To make up for the income because I didn't want to put that on Dave to cover. I want to ask you, I want to go back just a little bit. So if you grow up, but let's call it like an achievement complex, right? If somebody's listening that's grown up with similar trauma or a trauma where they feel the same way they have to achieve or they're overachievers, how do you now balance that as an adult? Like if you could go back 20 years now and give your younger self advice on how to balance this, what would you tell yourself?

The irony is I wouldn't take it back because I have achieved what I have the success that I have because of the way that I was raised. That's what I really feel passionate about like nothing is, nothing is wasted and nothing is lost. I feel the same way. I feel like you. I feel like you can let it victimize you or fuel you. 100%. Total choice. 100%.

I think how it manifested for me negatively as an adult was I really was a workaholic. I mean, I worked until I was sick. I couldn't see straight. I mean, I just, it was bad. And I did this the worst when I had two toddlers. So I am excellent. excellent at work. I'm so good. I can do all the things. I can run the company. I can motivate you. I can lead a team and then I would go home and do you all have kids? No yeah. Okay. Okay.

Scarce silly. It's hard. Okay. We tell every like we're just like wait as long as you can. It's so freaking hard. It's so wonderful. My kids are amazing, but it's really, really, really hard. Sorry, do you want me to really scare you or no? No, it's wonderful. And when it happens, like it's going to be great, but it's also going to be a punch in your face. Because I was trying to build a business and working and doing all this stuff. And I was excellent at work. And I felt like I was failing as a mom. And most mothers will tell you they feel like they're failing as a mom.

Did you get like other moms like kind of beat you up saying, oh, you're working. You're not doing care of. Yeah. I was just talking about when other moms judge you. Like shaming you, mommy guilt, all of that, especially. I mean, women do this. Unfortunately, women do this the most. Why do they do that?

I think when you're insecure, you pick on other people. I think it's like junior high. Like you have insecurity, so you're going to pull her apart. So nobody notices your stuff. Don't you just be going to be like, fuck off. I feel like I'm going to be so gnarly. I'm going to be like mind your own fucking business. Yeah.

I mean, it has to be like hopefully you have a community that's going to support you being whatever kind of mom you're going to be. But for me, I was constantly going up against, it's like the big debate and I hate that this is a thing, but like stay-at-home moms versus working moms. And oh, my gosh, and you're not here and you miss the school thing and whatever. So I, because I felt like I was failing at home and felt like I was winning at work, I threw myself even harder into work. Well, I think it's really important that women, and this is maybe counterintuitive,

maybe I'll get in trouble again for the 50th time on the show. But don't in a way, don't you kind of have to put yourself first in your own happiness first before you can do a good job of taking care of your children or no. That is 100% what you should. be doing, but very few people are going to agree with us on that. I mean, I speak to women all over the world's a big part of my job, and I will ask them to make a list of their priorities. And hands down, without question, I'm always like, okay, where are you on the list? Well, listen, if you're a miserable person. They're never on the list. They don't, but that's so obvious and, like,

fantastic person to want to make a child with that you get this because so. My facial massage is going to be pretty fucking high up there. Just so everyone's really clear. And I might want you to be the room mom and I would love a couple nannies and maybe a chef and a personal trainer. I don't ask for much. It's pretty common. I mean, we're on a real tangent, but it's common.

It's like if I come home from work every day miserable or if Lauren comes home and then the kids there, then you're going to, that's going to rub off on the kid, right? You imagine how I am in the morning. It's going to be 20 times worse when I have kids. I don't know. I don't do self-care. I'm going to bow out of this before I get the emails and the message is going to come in. It's so essential.

You can't take care of. other people well if your cup is empty. And so many women, I can't tell you how many emails and DMs I get every single day from women just saying, I have nothing left. I've got three kids, or I've got two kids, or I'm trying to do this or that. I have nothing left to give. And I feel like shame on you. Shame on you for getting to this place where you have given everything of yourself to other people instead of caring for you. It's like when you're on a plane, they tell you, put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping a child because if you're dead, if you're depleted, if you're gone, you don't have anything to give them. And I promise you that kids, for any of us who

grew up with parents who were miserable, that didn't serve us. That didn't help us. It made us fearful. It gave us anxiety or it taught us horrible lessons. But this isn't serving you and it's not serving your babies. Speaking of taking care of yourself, let's talk about hydration. When you're hydrated you have better skin, better sleep, and better energy. Inter liquid IV. Lauren, I must be the most hydrated guy in the world because I cannot stop drinking this stuff. I love the lemon lime and I love the new flavor, passion fruit. I take this stuff in the office, carried in my bag, almost said purse because I've had to carry yours so many times. I've been around too many females, I think, but I do love liquid IV. For those of you that don't know

what liquid IV is, they've been a sponsor of this show for a long time. It is a new drink mix that we've both been adding to our waters, and it's a game changer. Essentially, Liquid IV is a hydration multiplier that utilizes CTT or cellular transport technology, if you want to be fancy with it, to deliver hydration to the bloodstream faster. When you're working out, staying in shape, traveling, jet lagged, had a night of drinking. It's also very important to stay hydrated, and this stuff is the answer. Honestly, I tell everybody about it. I carry it, put it in my water, put it in the hydroflask.

It tastes really good. It almost feels like drinking one of those sports drinks that you had when you're a kid. If I'm being real, I was a little hungover because my dad and I had too much tequila and chips and salsa last night. And the passion fruit, which is their newest flavor, was in my white hydroflask today. I was handing it out in the office today. But then I got a little greedy with it because my supply was running low. So I had to take it back. My go-to flavor was the lemon lime flavor, which is still great.

But my new flavor is the passion fruit, just probably because it's new and, you know, change. Anyways, liquid IV hydrates you up to two to three times faster than water alone. three times the electrolytes of sports drinks. I really like this product because it has clean and simple ingredients. You know, I love that. It's made in the United States. There's no artificial sweeteners, colors, flavors, preservatives. It's free of gluten, dairy, and soy.

And it's also 100% vegan. And do you know what I did the other day? I have to just add this in. I know it's not in your notes. I actually put it into ice cubes with water and then put a berry in each cube. So my ice cubes were frozen liquid IVs with little berries in them. and then I added that to my water. Well, that sounds amazing, but you're a little bit turbo.

No, it's so good. But for anyone out there that wants to be turbo like Lauren, Michael, you just put water and Liquid IV in there and look a couple berries. It's perfect. All right. Okay. So for those of you that want to try that or just try it alone without the berries and the ice cubes like Lauren, the team at Liquid IV is offering all of our listeners 15% off

at checkout when you enter code Skinny 15 at checkout. Definitely try this if you're jet lagged or you're hungover or you just need that little hydration boost. So go to Liquid dashiv. and enter code skinny 15 at checkout. Again, that's liquid dash iv.com and skinny 15 at checkout. I also think that it's important, too, to serve your partners. Like, sometimes maybe even before the kids.

Yeah. Well, yes, line. Serve me. It is, well, our biggest, and this freaks people out too, but our biggest commitment, Dave is my best friend. He's been my best friend since we met. We'll be married 14 years next week. I've been together 16.

and that our commitment to each other is our first commitment. If we're not happy, if our marriage isn't strong and thriving and doing great, we're not going to be able to show it for them. We're not going to be able to create a safe or happy house if we're not in love and supporting each other. So, yeah. So what ways do you practice self-care? I made a list, actually, I'm getting really good at this. And I hate that I have to be so intentional about it.

It really doesn't come naturally to me to be like, let's rest but I sat down at the beginning of this year this was so great and I for the first time ever audited my calendar from 2017 so it took me about three hours I went through every single appointment in 2017 think about this right and I made a list of like did this serve me did this help my business grow did was this good and the amount of wasted time wasted energy chasing projects that didn't come to fruition was so upsetting oh my gosh because we you You know the 80-20 principle? So it's like, dang it, I'm spending 80% of my time chasing stuff that doesn't matter.

So I made this list. And amongst that, I identified, like, what are the things that are life-giving, that make me feel refreshed and renewed? For me, that's time with my girlfriends, vacation, date nights, massages, and, like, really good dinners. Like, not that I make where we go somewhere and we have, like, a 10-course, like, that's my love language. And so I just started, sad, but I just started making a lit, like every time I do that, if I dinner with friends or I go get a massage or I do, I just put a little checkmark. I'm keeping track of it throughout the year to try and beat last year's numbers because they were really low, being really intentional about a vacation every quarter where we get away without

our children, because when you take your kids, it's not a vacation, it's a trip. So I'm really intentional with those things that give me life, though they might not be what give other people energy or life, but those are. mine. I am at the point in my business, and this is maybe a selfish question where I'm having trouble saying no. And yesterday I kind of had a breakdown to Michael, and I just told him, I was like, every single time I go to my email inbox, I want to blow my head off. Do you have any tips for me and for the audience that feel like we're just on this hamster wheel every time we open our email or our text message? Even text message, by the way. It's so overwhelming.

Yeah. So I have a couple thoughts on this. My first question, just as, I'm out of curiosity as someone who sort of lives in a similar lane to you. Do you feel like you say yes because there was a time where you wanted work so bad? Because I feel like that's where my yes has come from. Is this going to go away? Yeah, scarcity. And I'm like, wait a minute. This is not real.

So probably first for me is identifying like why do I have this desire. My friend Jen has this great saying where she says, if it's not a hell yes. If your initial gut reaction is not hell yes, it's a no. which is like, that's a really clear test. And does that work for your friend? A hundred percent. And I have learned to be really honest with people and just say, because here's a deal. Every, that I said this earlier, but every yes that you give is a no to a thing that you actually want to do. Is a no to time together. Is a no to whatever you're into. Every yes, you're giving away a personal time. So I've gotten really good at saying no. I think a new thing for me.

me and this is about a month old and it's legitimately life-changing. I don't know what your staff situation is with the business. People don't have access to my email anymore. It's changed my life. I'm not kidding. How do you do that? I have an assistant who every like people think they're sending a note to me. They're actually sending it. Michelle filters it and there's only certain things that I want to see. The rest is farmed out to the appropriate person on my team and I made a new secret email address and 10 people have it. And it's like my publisher and all the people that we work with know why you email me because there's two, I mean, I really do, it's like so overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that's coming. And I feel like I'm sure you get this all the time because you're a different

level. But in the last two months with the growth of everything, I don't mean this to sound so terrible, but it feels like everybody wants something for me. Okay, it's not just me. I look at it this way, right? Like, it's, there's, I look at email and text message and phone is all the same thing, right? Like if somebody just called you out of the blue, anybody, any of us, anybody listening, they called you out of the blue and they just asked for something. They said, hey, can you get this done for me, ASAP? Yes.

You'd probably hang up or not pick up. I look at emails in the same light where if it's, if it's something that somebody's coming and telling me I need to get something done right away, if it doesn't serve what my overall mission and my overall long-term goal, then sometimes it, it won't get a response or sometimes it'll get like, hey, can't do this. I think that we've gotten into a state here where the email is a space where people work and it's like a workplace, right? It's like it's like clocking in, but it should be a space where you're getting things done.

Not where you're not where you're answering to every beck and call of every individual. Yeah, it's like you're on defense instead of offense. It shouldn't be that. It shouldn't be that way. Someone, an email coming into your inbox is someone else trying to give you their priority. And the problem is that like if you're trying to check off your boxes and make sure things are done, oftentimes it feels like this anxiety of I've got to get through these emails to have done my and four days go by and I realize wait like on Monday I wrote down my intention and my goal for this week and I haven't even touched it because I've been doing other people's stuff so I can't scale and grow this company if I'm constantly doing what other people need me to do instead of what my goals are that is great listen there's going to be some crossover right but you have to again it's prioritizing right like maybe when when cousin Sal reaches out says hey should we get coffee on Wednesday at 10 a.m. during the work, you're like, that probably is not going to get a response,

right? It's not that I'm trying to be a dick or trying to be mean or don't like the person. It's just that it doesn't make sense for everything else going on, right? So you don't have to feel obligated unless your intention is to follow up with someone and say yes and then follow through with that commitment, then all you're doing is prolonging a bad conversation or hurting someone's feelings or creating work for yourself. So it's a lose, lose that way. Well, I think the great thing about having someone else handle it, if that's an option for you, is that then it's not you being hurting someone's feelings, bowing out. It's like, someone else is like, you know what?

Lauren's schedule's insane. She can't, she's not even going to be able to like touch this until August. We'd love to circle back with you then, but this is not something she can take on right now. I'm going to record what you just said and actually transcribe it. Us as individuals, if you're making cold emails or you're reaching out to somebody that you want to connect with and you know they're busy, like we have to get out of the state of mind where we're offended when we don't get, you know, you can't. Yeah.

You can't take people's time. Also, I think it needs to be a give, give, give, ask. You know, you get so many emails. it's like, can you promote this for me? Can you do this for me? And I just always have come from this mindset where if I want something, it's always a give, give, give. And then if there is an ask, you ask, you don't just ask or you don't give an ask.

Well, the crazy thing to me, too, I feel like, is this is not strangers asking. I don't know if you have this. It's like brands, friends, people. High school friends. Yeah, you're like, this is so, I sometimes, and I'm excited, I'm moving to another state. So I'm getting a new cell phone number and very few people are getting access to this. But I sometimes want to just screenshot the conversation and send it back to the person. Like, do you see that the last 10 text messages you've sent me are things you asking me to do stuff?

Not how are you? Not like, hey, I'd love to take you lunch, but just like, can we send you this product to put in your answer? Can we? And it's like, it hurts my feelings because then I think, I mean, we just went to a therapy session, but I'm like, were we ever friends? Or do you just want access? This is Michael's going to give you advice here about expectation. Yeah.

He is the best advice here because I was bitching about this the other day. And it's not just my advice, but it's a way I live where I just don't have any expectations really of anybody, right? And I don't, and I don't mean that. I know you laugh at it in a mean way. I mean like a sandwich and a BJ once in a while. No, meaning this. So that's an expectation.

Listen, I have people on my teams and I have people that I'm in relationships with where, you know, they're the level of expectation, like I don't, if they were to bow out or not meet, you know, a task, I wouldn't be so pissed. Like, I don't, I don't have an expectation that they perform at a certain level. I look at it as I appreciate when they do, right? So when you look at it that way, like, wow, I really appreciate how this person on my team's performing or I really appreciate this person in relationship or a friendship. Then I'm never let down.

But if I expect them to perform at that level all the time and then they don't, then I'm living in a state of like, I'm let down all the time. And then I'm pissed off. And then I'm upset. Wonder what your Enneagram number is. But I was thinking, like, back to the. email thing, and this isn't anything in life, we have to get as a population and as a person, you have to get in a state of mind where it's like you provide value first.

Yes. Always first. You're always providing value up front. And then again, if somebody reciprocates, then you appreciate it as opposed to expecting it as well just saying like, hey, this person has a platform and can do me a favor. So let me reach out to them cold email and ask them to do it. That's just not how life works. And even for brands out there when you're sending an influence or something and you send them a gift and then they, follow up and they say, well, when are you posting? Yes. What is that? And there's not even a, like, oh gosh, that sounds terrible, but there's not even a, I didn't even tell you I wanted that thing.

I didn't pick it out. That's not even my style. That's, but now you're upset because you, that's not how it works. And the funny thing is half the time I love it and I'm going to post it. It's just like, give me one second. Yeah, yeah. I think that is a great piece of advice is to send, a lot of times people just send product with zero just like here's something and if I like it I will of course post it and tag you but if you ask me if you follow up if you bug my assistant if you're how dare you. Gary V has probably the best take on this where it's like and he wrote a book about it but it's like give give give and then without expectation but what people forget is they think give give give and then I'm owed something it's like no you forget the last most important

part without expectations like you know you might give give you might give you might provide the most value you might gift somebody this you might send them this but you you can't expect something in return because they're not asking right like yeah and that's and that's important i think as soon as people start playing life that way then they're going to start to grow yeah i want to give some advice to our audience so what would your advice be for someone who's unhappy in their job they're sitting at their nine to five maybe listening to this podcast and they just really want to go for their dream where would you tell them to kind of start well the The entire reason I wrote the book was because I got so many direct messages and emails from women all over the world asking for advice.

How do I do this? How do I save my marriage? How do I leave this job? How do I? And what I wanted to say to them, but I couldn't because I felt like it was so mean and because I didn't have time to fully go into it with people was stop reaching out to a stranger on the internet and fix your own life. So I wrote the book because I wanted, I hope women to understand that they are fully in control of what happens next. You are in charge of your life. If you don't like your job, change your job.

If you don't like your partner, work on your relationship or leave. If you don't like that you don't have money, if you don't like that you're in debt, all of these things you can control. I think oftentimes it feels like life is living us, like we're just sort of being tossed around with the tide. when the reality is it's not easy, but you can take control and get to a different place than you are right now. So if it was me, and it was me at a time, I had a really crappy boss, I didn't want to do it anymore, I thought I could have my own business. What did I know how to do? Well, I knew how to plan events because I had been doing it for a couple of years. I also knew I lived in Los Angeles, which was a huge space for weddings. So I thought, well, I could do this. I did the math. And I thought, I think I'm smart.

enough to figure this out and I jumped. And this is probably terrible advice, but truthfully, I believe if you throw yourself in the deep end, you'll learn how to swim. No, it's not, it's not bad advice. I'll tell you why. People go so crazy about this in the job space. You can go back. Yeah. Like you could go back to that shitty job and you could go back to that thing you hate. But if you don't take the leap, you'll never know, right? Yeah. Like people think like, listen, you already got a shitty job that you hate. I'm not attacking you, but anybody out there. You got a bad job you don't like and that's why you want to leave it. You can go get a job like that again, so take the leap. That's why it's not bad advice. It's practical. Yeah. I think that a lot of people

too are beating to the tune of their parents' drum. Absolutely. I think that's a big one. And I think that's a choice as well. Yeah. Well, so many, especially for women, are living into other people's expectations for their lives or what they believe society's expectations are for their lives. And if it doesn't look a certain way, act a certain way, feel a certain way, if you haven't made a certain amount of money or gotten married or own a home or whatever it looks like in your community, you're judging yourself is not enough because you're judging yourself based on what other people think. And it sounds so, you know, simple and easy to say. But honestly, the greatest gift you could give yourself is to stop caring what other people think of you.

Well, this is a perfect segue for my next question. And here's the other thing. Society doesn't give a shit. Nobody gives a shit. They're thinking about themselves. I hate it. Like, I mean. They're thinking about themselves. Like Michael's thinking about his hair and his next question. If I was going to write a book, I would say, I would call it, nobody gives a shit. shit. Yeah. You know, think about how many times you, like, embarrass yourself or you make a jump or you have a fair. Like, nobody really cares. Like, they're saying, oh, okay, that sucks. And they're going to go start worrying about themselves again. So I think like this deep rooted fear that we have in what other people think is so false. Yeah. People just, they just don't have that much time to think about

you. Yeah. So my question was going to be, uh, the comparison game on social media. Mm-hmm. It's going. It's, it's, it's gnarly. It's rough. I mean, we've, I feel like we've all been sucked into it. What are some tips and tricks that you? You know, um, the comparison. you kind of do to check yourself before you wreck yourself? So I have a couple here. Two things. One, I heard this years ago, and I swear I do it, and it sounds so cheesy, but it's real, is when I find myself, if I'm scrolling through Instagram is my favorite platform, so if I'm scrolling through Instagram and I see someone who's in a similar field, it's usually a similar field where I'm like, like, oh my gosh, she has three times a followers I have. It's like this gut. I wish I didn't think that,

but sometimes I do. Or dang it, her hair is so pretty or her body is this or her whatever. If my reaction is because I feel like it's that scarcity, right? So if I feel like she's gotten something that I really wanted, like she's gotten more followers, she got a three book deal, she got a this, I immediately make myself stop and pray for more success for her. I heard someone say this years ago. And it is such an incredible practice of that's not who I am, but I want to be the kind

a person that's rooting for your success instead of being jealous of it. And there's something about forcing myself into that space that changes my mindset. Like, yeah, there's enough for us all. If she is succeeding, we're succeeding, women are growing in business. These are all good things for what we're doing. Number one. Number two, I think if you're consuming media, and it's making you feel badly about yourself, your body, your hair, you're this, you're that, either change your mindset or stop following that person. Stop consuming. that media. You are not required to follow beautiful girls on Instagram if it makes you feel like crap. If you are not in a healthy headspace yet where you're like, man, her beauty doesn't

negate my own, then just unfollow them until you're in a better place. And you can come back to it. But if every time you see them in your feed, you're like, oh, I'm garbage. Like I didn't, I'm never going to be that pretty. I'm not, then what are you doing, sis? This is not serving you. If you're actually beating yourself up because you're consuming it, then you have to stop. I would also say figure out what the core issue is. Like if you're, you know, if you're looking at somebody and you say, they have this and I don't, like, is that really about what they have or is about, is that about what you know you could be doing to get it, but you're not doing, right? Yeah. Or if they look a certain way, whether it's like, you know, maybe they're in shape,

it's like, does that say that it's about your, you know, some things, your genetic, but you're to look at something and say, you know, I know that I could be trying harder. A hundred percent. I think a lot of the time the way you react to things, says more about your internal issues than it does about the way you look at somebody else. Yeah. Actually, I was talking to a girlfriend about this the other day, who was another influencer. And she was saying that she had seen the success of my book. And that she's like, honestly, my gut reaction was like, I was so jealous of you.

And I was really mad at myself for being jealous. And I was so, like, not for you in the success that you're having. And then she said, she realized, it's like, this had nothing to do with you. this is because I've always wanted to write a book and I don't put in the time and the hours to get it done. And so when I see other people having success in the area that I know that I could be doing something and I'm not, then I get down on myself. So it's not about the, it's not about the person. It's about how do you change what you're doing? So you're at a level where you're at least taking steps in the direction of that goal.

One of the reasons I love doing this show, and we talked about it on some previous shows, is that we can have conversations around new subjects that we haven't explored. adoption being one of them. We've never talked about it. There's a lot of stigma around adoption. Let's destigmatize it. Let's talk about it. What does the process look like for somebody who's unfamiliar with it? Yeah.

So for us, we are family motto, and this has been our motto since we were first dating is to whom much is given, much is expected. And we really feel like we have been given this incredible, not given,

because we've worked really hard to get where we are, but we have this incredible platform and we have amazing resources. And just we have lives that we didn't have growing up. And with that, in our minds, comes the responsibility to as often as possible give back and show up in spaces that maybe other people aren't. And for us, that felt like we were called to adopt.

So we felt really passionately that we wanted to adopt. How many children did you have at this point? Three. Three boys. Yeah. We wanted to adopt a daughter. And so we originally started with international adoption because, ironically, we wanted a place where we wouldn't have any involvement with the biological parents.

And so we thought, oh, we'll do international adoption. So once the baby's here, then they can't take her back or whatever. So we started with Ethiopia. And there's a ton that goes into international adoption, but you have to choose your country before you go, you do anything. And so we chose Ethiopia because most children there are in orphanages because of poverty versus, like, let's say Eastern Europe where they're in orphanages because of drugs and alcohol use, and we didn't feel like we were equipped to handle that because we already had

three kids. And so we started with Ethiopia. We were in that program for about a year and a half, and you just slowly work your way up a list. Like there's a list of, let's say, 50 families. And then the family at the top gets a baby. And then the next one. And then you just work. Do you have interaction with the children during this process?

No. No, we hadn't been matched yet. Once you are matched, they're like, this is your kid. It could take three more years, but this is your kid. And so that can be, so then if you don't get that kid, that's where the trauma sets in. Or is that, or am I incorrect? No, no. So for us, we never got matched in the Ethiopia program.

And they actually closed down their adoptions with the U.S. because of, I now understand, I'm really horrible human trafficking. So unfortunately, Ethiopia is a hard country where a lot of the children who, I shouldn't say a lot because now I'm going to get angry emails, but many children who've been placed with families outside of Ethiopia, believe that it's an orphan.

And really it's someone's take. taken a child from an impoverished family and then put them, it's horrible. So they had to close down the program until they could get a handle on it. So once that was done, we were like, what are we going to do? We've spent a year and a half, almost two years here. And really, really did not want to do independent adoption, which is when you're used lawyers and you're matched with a mom because I felt like, I can say now, because that's where we ended up, but I honestly felt like, are we buying a baby?

Like are we, it's like what celebrities do, right? They, you know, and I just was like, I wanted to be of service and not, I don't know. So I felt weird about it. So we decided. Can you explain the difference to me when you say buying a baby? What's, I don't. Well, because it costs money. So you're paying legal fees.

You're paying the mom's legal fees. You're not really, I understand now it was like super. I didn't know what I was talking about. But because it's so expensive, I mean, $50,000, it feels like, okay, not. It feels like, it feels transaction. Yes, yeah. So we decided to adopt from L.A. County because there are children, obviously, in foster care here in L.A. County. Just as we're really passionate about foster care, there are half a million children in the U.S. who are in foster care right now, which is just imagine how many football stadiums that is of little kids who are in care. And the system is so broken and so hard. But we decided to do, to adopt from foster care in L.A. you have to commit to being foster parents before you get put in the adoption program. So you're going to be foster parents for kids you don't keep.

And we had three boys and we both have full time. We're like, how in the world are we going to be, how are we going to do this? And how are our kids going to handle? Like someone coming in and then leaving. And we just were like, all right, we're going to try. And we did it. And it was the hardest summer of our entire. Oh, my God.

It was so, so hard. It was so, so hard because we got a little girl, 11 months old, and then a few weeks later, they called and said, she has a two-year-old sister. Can you please, please, please take her sister? And in retrospect, we shouldn't have done that, but it's so hard when someone's telling you, like, there's a two-year-old who has nowhere to go. And we just said yes, and going from three kids to five, and both the two little girls had just massive trauma. and we had them for about four months, and then they transitioned back out, which was one of the worst days of my life except for the death of my brother, because a baby is never supposed to

leave your house, ever. And these little girls had been in foster care their whole lives. So when we had to go, I had to go put them in the car with a social worker, they don't know, and what was so horrific about it to me was that it didn't bother them at all. When they showed up in my house on the first day, the two-year-old said, hi, mommy. And when I put them in the car with a social worker, she said, bye, mommy. It's like they were conditioned.

They were conditioned that this was what happens now. Now we're going to go back to mom and dad, and we're going to try this again. And then I told my husband, like, I need a minute before we can, I can't process. I just couldn't. and they called a month later and said, hey, we have newborn twins. We never thought we were going to have two, but they were like, you just had to,

so you're in the system as able to take two. We have newborn twins. They've been abandoned at the hospital. No names, no family, nothing. You have 20 minutes to decide. Because with babies that little, they have to make it. And we were like, oh, my, it was crazy. And we said, he's at work.

I'm at work. We're on the phone. We said the biggest yes of our entire lives. And we went to a hospital and got our daughters. And we had them for six weeks. And I, because they had been abandoned, it honestly did not occur to me that there was any scenario where we were not raising these babies forever. And we named them. And it was like, ugh.

And then we found out that their dad wanted them back. And in California, in most states, biological family has. First right. Yeah. So they left too. and that was honestly horrific for me because it felt like someone had died. And I don't mean that disrespectfully because I know people listening. There are people who've lost babies, but I had daughters and then I didn't.

And I didn't know where they were or were they being cared for, were they being like, I didn't know. And I still to this day, I don't know where they are or what happened to them. But like I said earlier, after that, I was done. And Dave said, please, please, please, just one more time. All my friends have told me about this lawyer who had worked with a lot of people at his job. He's like, let's just take a meeting. Let's just take a meeting. And so we go sit down with this lawyer, and he's telling me the process to adopt independently

is a birth mother has to choose your family out of like a photo album, which is crazy. And then her lawyer and your lawyer work together to, like, you basically cover all of her medical costs. So it's not buying a baby at all, but it definitely has that. stigma and we met with this lawyer and we left and Dave decided to take me to lunch and I'm still not convinced that I want to do this and we went to Bouchon and Beverly Hills are sitting out on that patio and he's like let me get you a glass of wine and we're just kind of talking about the last five years and he's trying to convince me to do this and I'm like I can't do it and I'm wearing big sunglasses and we're talking about the whole history and I'm like crying and I'm like babe I can't I can't

it anymore. It hurts too much. I don't want to do this. And, you know, I'm sure you all have been there. The tables are really close together. For people who are not in L.A., it's worth saying, people in L.A. do not talk to their neighbors at restaurants. So even though we're very close to tables, everyone just sort of like sunglasses on doing their own thing. Eating your butter or lettuce salad, which is the best salad with shallots on it. I love that salad. They really have good food. So we're sitting there. I'm like crying behind these big sunglasses. I'm like, I can't, I can't. And all of a sudden this man slams his hand down on our table. And he says, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I can't, I could not help but overhear your conversation. I am adopted. And my parents lost two babies through adoption before they got me. And if they had given up, I would not be sitting at this table right now in Beverly Hills. I would not have graduated first of my class. I would not have met my wife. I would not be a record executive.

I would not be any of these things. You can't give up. You have to keep trying. and I'm like sobbing behind my, like just dying. And I felt like God was like just one more time. Just try again. Just one more time. And faith's a huge thing for me.

And I got to tell you in this walk, I felt like I had lost a lot of that faith. And for months after we lost the twins, I just kept crying like, God, where are you? Where are you? You brought us here and you left us. and I don't, where are you? And walking back to valet, I felt God just speak over me like, I was always here. I was always here. And that man's name was Noah.

And that is our daughter's name. That is so cool. Yeah. That is amazing. That's our story. I was going to say when you told me her name, I was like, what a beautiful name. Yeah. And that was named after the man who told us to keep trying.

And now you have four kids. I have four kids. So many kids. I just want to say. after hearing that story, if anyone says they don't have time with what you've accomplished, that's a horrible excuse. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, we're just, we're making it work. Yeah, time with four kit. I mean, yeah, no, everyone has time. Yeah, you got, you just have to figure it out for yourself. So switching gears. Yeah. What's your favorite success? My marriage. Um,

we work really, really hard on our, we want to have an exceptional marriage, not good, not great, exceptional. Um, and what does that look like to you? That looks like he's my best friend. We still text all day. We still make out like we did when we first met. I could use a good makeout section if I'm being honest. Yeah, that's my polite way of saying. Depends if you're eating all that garlic by the clove, right?

I eat garlic cloves. Oh, no. Listen, I get it sometimes I get a pass, yeah. Yeah, but. If you're eating garlic like apples, you know, it's down. Yeah, it's, we want to still be in love and want each other, you know, 50 years from now. And so I think that takes work and intention and dating each other and what does some of that work look like? What are some practical steps that a couple could take to have a successful relationship?

We have a weekly date night that is sacred. Like it is, as we've done it forever, which is same night of the week. Usually, yeah, because the babysitter knows that she's going to stay on that night. And our kids know to expect it. So we go out. We're really intentional about mixing it up, going to different places, not getting in that rut, not doing the same thing. we don't want to talk about our kids when we're on a date. We want to pretend that this is like what life was like before all of this responsibility

came down on us. So yeah, it's a weekly date night. It's I think that you have to choose every day to have a happy marriage. There's so many things with your partner that you could be annoyed with or frustrated by or get pissed off over. Like his hairspray smells so bad. He's got to get a new one. Or just like, yeah, right?

Many things that you're like, Like stop. Would you stop leaving your clothes on the floor? I mean, you're 43. Can we stop? And I could get really pissed off really easily, or I could be like, oh my God, just let's, this, this is not the hill I'm going to die on today. Your next book will be boy, pick up your shirt. I know. Honestly, honestly, you're not. Lauren has died on many hills. Yeah, I don't want to. I mean, the thing is, I also came from parents who screamed and fought and I don't ever, ever want that. So we will constantly, we don't always get there, but we're always going to reach for, I don't know, joy and laughing. We laugh our butts off every day.

So, yeah, I think treating him like my best friend because I think I show up for my friends in a different way than I maybe would for my husband. I don't know why I did air quotes. But acting like we're friends instead of just, you know, married has been a big deal. Well, Rachel, you got a shitload going on. I really do, man. Tell us where we can find. Find your book. Yeah, let's talk about the book.

What's going on? The book is called Girl Wash Your Face, which I think is that how we know each other? Like, did you read the book? Is that how you? Okay. No, I think I found. No, no, here's what happened. Okay.

A skinny confidential reader messaged me and said you will really, really like this moment. Oh, that's cool. And so I went to look at your page and I just saw you had so much community. And then I went and bought your book. Yeah. Read your book. And then I reached out. That's awesome.

Thank you for that. Yeah. So the book is available everywhere. that you can find a book. It's called Grow Wash Your Face. My favorite platform is Instagram, because it's pretty and it makes me happy. But yeah. What's your handle? Oh, Miss Rachel Hollis. And what's next? We are about to move in 10 days to Austin, Texas. My husband is leaving a massive job to come and scale this company with me. And we're moving our team. We're moving those children. So that's a big focus for us. And then there's some other stuff we haven't announced yet

until he leaves. We'll look forward to it. Austin's a cool place. It is. A lot of cool people moving out there. If Rachel has time to wash her face with four kids, I'm expecting everyone out there who's listening to wash their face every night. It feels important.

Use an oil cleanser if you can. Just wash your face. Thanks for coming on. Thanks, guys. Okay, guys, if you saw my latest Instagram, you saw the announcement where we shared that we hit 16 million unique downloads, which is so exciting. And that is all because of you. because of this, we decided to launch a podcast site that's separate from the Skiny Confidential.

It's called tscpodcast.com. And basically, it's a very streamlined experience for you. So what you can do is go get all the resources. You can see all the offers. You can see books, all the different recommendations, beauty products, everything from our guests and from us in one spot. And I'm really proud of it right now because we also just added a search function. So even if you're confused and you want to look up a topic that we've, may have talked about in the past. You could just search anything in that episode should pop up

or that topic that we covered on that episode should pop up. Yeah, it's very, very, very chic. It's black marble mixed with pink. So you got that him and her aspect. Again, you can check it out at tccpodcast.com. If you guys rate and review the show, please screenshot it and email it to ask Lauren at the Skinny Confidential and we will send you my five top beauty hacks straight to your inbox. We hope you love this episode with Rachel. we'll see you next Tuesday. This episode was brought to you by Grove Collaborative. Grove Collaborative offers healthy alternatives to household supplies,

and we use it for all our cleaning supplies. Come straight to our door. To try Grove Collaborative, go to grove.com, not dot com slash skinny. Again, that's grove.com, not dot com slash skinny. For $30 in free supplies and a special gift, plus a two-month VIP membership. This episode was brought to you by Liquid IV, the insane tasting and portable powder drink mix. So basically, Liquid Ivy is changing and enhancing the way we hydrate.

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