The Bossticks - #133: Heather McDonald - Dating Advice, Online Dating, Family Dynamics, Comedy, Reality TV, Kris Jenner & Chelsea Handler

Episode Date: August 28, 2018

On this episode we sit down with fellow podcaster and comedian Heather Mcdonald. As usual this show covers a lot of ground including; dating advice, online dating, family dynamics, professional comedy, reality tv, working with your spouse, and a tangent about Kris Jenner and Chelsea Handler. Heather is a no holds barred type of interview and she never disappoints when it comes to delivery the juicy scoop.  To connect with Heather McDonald click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) WOO FOR PLAY is the all natural and organic coconut love oil that is changing the way we have sex. With only 4 all natural ingredients WOO is the perfect personal lubricant to spice up your sex life.  All Him & Her Listeners will receive 20% off your entire order plus free shipping when when visiting www.wooforplay.com & using promo code HIMANDHER at checkout. This episode was brought to you by Grove Collaborative.   Grove Collaborative offers healthy alternatives to household supplies and we use it for all of our cleaning supplies. To try grove collaborative go to www.grove.co/skinny Listeners will receive 30 dollars in free supplies a special gift and a 60 day VIP membership.  This episode is brought to you by RITUAL Forget everything you thought you knew about vitamins. Ritual is the brand that's reinventing the experience with 9 essential nutrients women lack the most. If you're ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to www.ritual.com/skinny  Your future self will thank you for taking Ritual: Consider it your 'Lifelong-Health-401k'. Why put anything but clean ingredients (backed by real science) in your body?

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And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. You know, I want it to be what the show is. It's juicy scoop. So it's whatever I'm into, you know, which can be the fun stuff, but then also the deeper stuff, which I love getting into.

And I love being in the position of like being of a certain age and a point in my career where I like, I don't give a fuck. like I'm not scared that I just told you that story good pick it up whatever like but for years I was terrified happy Tuesday happy Tuesday that clip was from our guest of the show today a fellow podcaster and comedian Heather McDonald on this episode we dive into dating advice online dating family dynamics professional comedy reality TV and a tangent about chris jenner and Chelsea handler For those of you who are new, I'm Lauren Everett's Bostick. I'm giving you Bostick today, and I am the creator of the Skinny Confidential, which is a cheeky resource for beauty, wellness, and business. And I'm Michael Bostick. I am a serial entrepreneur and brand builder. Most recently,

the CEO of Dear Media, which is a new kind of podcast network marrying the digital world to the audio space. Welcome back, everybody. And here we go with another live episode. Your hair is interesting tonight. What's wrong with it? It's just like really peacocked up. Well, I got a haircut. You also went to the gym at 9 o'clock at night, so maybe that's what's going on. I had to get, well, I'm training again, so I have to get after it. Tell us about what that entails. It just means I'm working out, Lauren, okay?

Why is there a pink yoga? Why are he busting my balls about it? I just want to know. Why is there a pink yoga mat on the floor? I'm doing sit-up so that I don't get a fat gut and have it hanging out of my pants when I'm hitting that woo with you. You are looking good. You're the only girl I know, though, would complain that her husband's working out.

I'm not complaining. I just want to. Listen, you want me to just let it all hang loose? You can have that option, right? I've been with you a long time. That has happened before. So I feel like you go through faces. Yesterday you were swimming in the pool. You're being active lately. You know what? Screw it. I'm going to let it all hang loose. Let it go. You called it. You want to make, you call down the thunder. No, you got it. He is looking pretty good, you guys. His muscles are nice and defined. He's flexing right now. All right. We see it. So today we're interviewing Heather McDonald. She is one of my favorites. She's fab, you guys. She's hysterical.

She's hysterical. I'm actually in her juicy scoop obsessed group. And sometimes this is a confession late at night when I can't sleep. I go into the group and I just read all the different threads. And there's all these threads about reality television, real housewives, Vanderpump rules. It's kind of amazing. The group is pretty hysterical. Yeah, and this interview's been a long time coming.

We've kind of gone back and forth with Heather for a while. And so all of us have been trying to make this happen for a while. Lauren went on her show and now she came on our show. Heather and I chit-chat at one time about social media. So it was fun. I was on her show a couple weeks ago. You guys have to listen. We discussed everything juicy.

A lot of reality television. Okay. Before we get into Heather, I want to tell you guys a little random tidbit. Okay. Let's talk about what I use for the dishwasher. Like I said, this is random, but it's actually something I get asked a lot on DMs. So when I get asked something a lot, I try to put it in an Excel sheet and remember to talk it on the podcast or blog about it. So I've been using seventh generation dish packs for as long as I can remember.

And of course, if you know me, you know I do not buy them at the grocery store. Oh no, no, no. I like to streamline things. You know this, which is why I get them for my favorite place to scoop up cleaning supplies, Grove collaborative. All you have to do is go to grove.com and simply search seventh generation. Super easy. I like to pick up their bleach, dish packs, and laundry detergent. It's all in one swipe. everything arrives straight to my door, which everyone loves. I mean, who wants to lug dishwasher products up their stairs? It's such a buzzkill. I prefer to take the market out of the situation and order online. And while you're at it, if you're looking to pick up some more products from Grove, I highly recommend adding some Mrs. Myers to your cart, okay? I started using Mrs. Myers products

when I was living alone and then when I moved in with Michael, I strategically moved all his chemically products out of the way and moved in Mrs. Myers, okay? I especially love their hand soap. You should know that they have pumpkin spice right now. That's right. Pumpkin spice. They have like this fall seasonal special that you guys have to check out. I bought three batches because I love Mrs. Myers so much and I love fall. And yeah, it's basic, but I love pumpkin spice.

When I shop on Grove, I feel like I'm selecting the products that are good for me, my home, the planet. And very important to my chihuahuas. No, I'm serious, you guys, you don't want nasty chemical-filled floor cleaner next to your dog's noses. That's just gross. For a limited amount of time, TSC listeners who sign up get an amazing $30 gift set, a free 60-day VIP membership, and a bonus gift just for you when you sign up and place an order of $20 or more. Check out Grove and our special offer at grove.co slash skinny. That's grove.com, not dot com slash skinny.

Heather McDonald is an in-demand, multifaceted comedian, headlining sold-out shows across the country. I actually took my sister to see one and she loved it. In addition to stand-up, television guest spots, and working on the Chelsea Lately show, Heather can be heard twice a week on her hit podcast, Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald, breaking down pop culture, her own personal drama, and anything juicy people are talking about that week. Guests range from real housewives to celebrities, to influencers, and she also wrote two books, and yes, of course, I read both.

They're a real hoot, my inappropriate life, and you'll never blueball in this town again. read them guys you will laugh out loud so with that let's welcome heather mcdonald to the t sc him and her show this is the skinny confidential him and her i love that ray is recording this i feel like it brings it full circle it does ray ray's the best i asked ray i was like ray what let me get some of the juicy scoop here give me some topics no wait hold on really quick i asked your group i hope that's okay oh of course yeah okay this is this is so far what they've said i just asked him recently the group is like, they're so funny. Look at all, look at how many, this is, I just posted this.

Look at this. Good. I'm glad. Sometimes I feel like they're not enough, they're not focused on me enough, the group. Really? Yeah, that's what we do a question to make sure they listen to the podcast. Because I'm like, I don't want it to just be another gossipy podcast and they don't I mean, gossipy Facebook group and they don't even know who I am.

So I'm like, no, I'm doing it to get feedback of guests and start conversations and, you know. So you just ask a question like you'll say, what was your favorite part of this episode? No, to get in, there's a question that you would not know if you did not listen to the show. Got it. Okay. And if they go, well, I don't know. Then my assistant will write back, we got to listen to the podcast and then come back and try again. That's smart.

Those groups take on, like, they become a beast of their own if you're not careful. I'd rather half the amount than a bunch of people that don't really know why they're in this group. They have like a very, all of them have a very soft spot for you. Are we recording? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That's fine.

You can keep all that. No, I just feel like they're always so supportive of you. Whenever I go through there, they're always want to get you behind gates. Yes. Should I start with one of their questions? Sure, whatever you want. We already started, buddy. Oh, okay.

Does her hubby get upset about some things she shared with her listeners, like how she was attracted to CF for a quick minute? Who's CF? Chris Franjola. No, my husband has never gotten upset that have shared anything on the show. There's things that I say that he will nitpick that he says. Like, I once referred to somebody's housekeeper or something. something. I said, you know, she was raised with servants or something. And he, he was like,

I think you should take that word out. I think that's, you know, not the proper word. I'm like, okay. So, but maid is now, like, wrong to say made. So I'm like, domestic help. I don't know. Like, I was like, okay, like, I cannot nitpick about a word. My, but everybody knows I mix up words and everything else. So do I. I. I can't pronounce things. And I'm like scared of, you know, the few people that are going to say anything about me anymore. Like most, you know, most of the trolls have gone away. How is it working with your husband? Because mine sometimes interrupts me.

It's awful. Here's the good part. Like I know no one, like I'm not going to get screwed over financially or anything like that. Like the trust is there. I completely trust each other. We're in it to win it. Like there's no cheating. There's nothing ever.

And there's no jealousy. There's nothing like that. but perfect example is yesterday we were dealing with some dates now I love my agent who does the live shows we had a meeting with them and an offer came in and Peter sits down and he goes okay if you want to take this you could take this flight to whatever and I go no I don't want it's too much flying then the next day I was like I called my agent I go well how did this offer come about I was just curious and you know it just came in and I was like oh okay I'm like well maybe I can do the flight and I said Yes. So then Peter comes home and he's like, why would you call your agent when we already discussed it?

And I was like screaming, I can call my agent if I want to. I'm like, if I want to ask him a question, I can ask my question. You know. How did it end? It ended with, it doesn't ever last long. Okay. So it usually ends with me taking my dinner outside. Is it your Chinese chicken salad? I made, no, but I did make chicken last night. Okay. Some juicy breasts. Okay. What do you mean? You leave the domicile and go and take your whole meal and just go sit outside. Well, I just flipped the chicken. So I had about six minutes that I could go sit outside with my glass of wine and just stop the conversation. I want to stop the conversation. A buttery Chardonnay. Lauren, when we get in fights, why don't you ever take your dinner outside? Great tip. Then I got, then, then it, then I, then I, by the time I came back, he was great. He was like, look, I'm the one that cares about you not trial. We decided not for you not to travel more than twice a month. That's the rule. So I don't, when we decided to say no to. this. I don't know why you said yes. I just don't understand what changed your mind. And I'm like, I don't feel like explaining what changed my mind. Let me eat my chicken. Yeah. Like, let's move on.

So you're right. How is traveling all the time? I'm not taking that gig. I'm traveling a lot. I'm going to be traveling less. And it's very hard because the minute I say I don't want to do it, then I get an offer and I'm so flattered. And I'm so of the mindset of like, what if this offer never comes back again? It's just some like cool theater. And Florida. The majority of the people that listen to this show, I'm sure know who you are, but for those you're a comedian, and so you're on the road a lot for comedy. How is that on the marriage?

Great. Because there's a... Never am I missed? We barely communicate when I'm gone. Those couples that say they talk 20 times. No, we don't do that. It's like, if there's something like you missed an ad, you need to do it now, that's it. That's it.

It's only that. And sometimes it's like, hey, the company messed up. know, he will be nice. He's like, you have to redo it. I know it's not your fault. Other times, he'll be like, you said $25 off instead of 25% off. So you need to redo it. And then he'll, you know, he'll be like, I think that's, you know, I think that my assistant should have been following better. And I'm like, don't you talk about her? Like, I get really, like, defensive about my, whoever I have. Like, I will keep, I'm just like, okay, okay, but, okay. So then she's like great. She's really chill. She's like, okay, I'll make sure I, like, double.

read it when you're reading it. So it's usually those are the conversations. And then like once in a while, you know, it's something nice. Like do you want, you know, do you want to go to dinner after you come out, come home or something? We did a little date night last night. Yeah.

Here's the real question. Yes. Does he wake you up in the morning at 7 o'clock in the morning asking you about something to do with work? Because that's my problem. It's 7 o'clock. It's also like 10.30 at night question with the laptop open. Oh.

the other part is pulling up like competitive people and telling me how they're killing it like I don't do that as I'm about to go to bed and I don't do that I can you know if it's my really good friend I'm like happy to hear that you know fortune sold a movie on deadline that that's fine but other kind of things I'm like yeah I know yeah I tell him not to raise my cortisol be for 10 o'clock and don't raise it after eight don't what don't raise my cortisol i don't want my cortisol like my stress hormone oh i can't do it before 10 o'clock those stress hormones are running rampant it's just to do listen i open my eyes it just never it just never that's a thing it never ends and the conversation never ends and i feel back because we have kids that like have to witness it and i go so when we were yelling about

to call him an agent i walked into brandon's room and he's 12 and i go so sorry about the yelling i'm like did you hear that i go yeah i go what do you think it was about and he goes um ads in marketing. Like they just get used to hearing it. And I hate it so much because I think I told you this when you're on my show. But my parents were like married realtors that got into it later in the marriage, kind of like we did. They didn't always work together. And my sister and I would like lay in our twin beds and be like, we will never work with our husbands. We'll promise each other. And now my sister is an attorney, works with her husband. And I work with my husband. Are you taking notes? But we're still married.

And I don't know how. There's got to be like some secret there. The thing is, it's like it's really great and you're successful. It's just really hard to turn it off. And so then when I said to him, I go, look, I know you care more about me than William Morris. I know that you, you know, don't want me to go on this thing. And it's really not about money. He's like blow off a gig.

Like, I'd rather you not, you know. But he keeps saying like, I don't want to hear you complain. I'm like, we don't even call you from the road. I'm not complaining. I'm like, so if I come home from my. a show and I'm raped? Like, do you mind if I call and tell you that? Like, as I've probably aged out raping. But I'm like, honestly, like, can I call you about that or is that going to be considered complaint? Because God forbid, I, like, I disrupt the three days that I'm gone. Like, I went to a stand-up show

of yours. I brought my sister. My sister, Faye, is a huge fan of yours. And so am I. And we went to your stand-up, and you told this story about Aspen. And I tried to retell it to Michael, and I just flubbed it and I really want you to tell it on here because I was crying laughing. Before we get into that, let's talk about ritual. Vitamins are sort of like putting on sunscreen. The sooner you do it, the better it is for your long-term health. I mean, does you guys know that 90% of women aren't getting the nutrients they need every day? For example, 90% of women aren't getting enough D3, me included. Over 70% of women aren't getting enough omega-3. This is nuts. Ritual to the rescue. So like said in a ritual. I've tested tons and tons of vitamins, okay? I mean, over the last eight years,

you wouldn't even believe it. There's a select few that I really, really love and that are TSC master list approved. Here's why I like the specific brand ritual. It's all in one place. So you get vitamin K2, D3, B12, Omega 3, boron, iron, vitamin E, folate, and magnesium. I love magnesium so much it really keeps things moving. Anyway, this means if you don't need to carry around 100,000 bottles, okay, it's just one bottle. I'm busy, I'm traveling, I'm moving from L.A. to San Diego. I'm running around in chaos 80% of the time. So having everything streamlined in one pill is just really, really great for my lifestyle. I know that I've talked about the specific vitamin brand a lot, but it's because I love it and I feel like you guys will love it. Oh, and if you're wondering, it doesn't have that fishy taste.

Do you know what I mean? It's like more of a blast of minty fresh goodness. You should know that it's also vegan, sugar-free, non-GMO, gluten-free, and allergen-free. It's made in the USA without synthetic fillers or colorants. Yes, please. So let's break it down real quick. It's subscription-based, $30 a month delivered straight to your door. Okay. It fills the gaps in in your diet and it's the best source ingredients. Everything is actually backed by science, which we love. If you're ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to ritual.com slash skinny. Consider it your lifelong health 401k. Go to ritual.com slash skinny. What's also great about ritual is it's super Instagrammy and looks very, very chic on your vanity. I think it's a very long story. There's several

ski stories involved that I've like merged and dropped one. I went to do a skiing gig, I mean, a stand-up gig in Aspen. But of course, that's the gig he'll go to because it's Aspen and he likes to ski. He's not going to go Jacksonville, Florida for three days for five shows where we stay at a stay at like a gross hotel or a Ramada Inn. Never was that like, would you like me to join?

No, but the Aspen one, he can like squeeze into a sketch. So like he, so I'm like, okay, that'll be great. It'll be fun enough, you know. And so anyway, we finally get there and we have like this, we actually have a great time. He's a good ski. I'm not. He takes me down like, you know, beautiful, like the little easy, there's like a buttermilk hill. That's like for the easiest skiers, you know? So like he's taking me out and I go,

do you want to meet later and you go to on IJax or whatever? He's like, no, let's just spend the day together. You're like having so much fun. And I'm like, oh my God, like you're so into me. Like you're fucking kidding me? Like this guy is like hot for me. You're like my husband. Okay. Like five weeks later, four weeks later, it's my kid's spring break and we're going. How old are your kids? They're 15 and 12, but at this time it was a couple years ago. And so we're flying. First of all, so we have to pack all of our shit.

And I get to the, like, you know, we get there. And one of the bags, the ski bags with the helmets and stuff is too heavy. It's 51 pounds, whatever. So now we're that family that screaming at each other, reweighing everything. And I'd shoved all my underwear in my son's ski helmet to save space. So his ski helmet goes rolling out. And he's like, oh, my God. Dad moves.

Kuva? I'm like, I don't have crabs motherfucker. Like, this is all in front of like Southwest. And those people when the bags overweight is like the happiest, like that's like their moment. They're like the bags overweight. Oh my God. And so I'm like, it's just, yeah, so then we get there and then my husband's like

wears Brandon's gloves and he didn't did you pack, you know, I can't believe you forgot to pack Brandon's gloves. I'm like, I mean didn't we all pack the gloves? Like how is it my fault? So we start arguing and you know, kicking, he starts kicking the suitcases around. He's all annoyed. He's like, come on, Drake. He takes my older, more mature skiing son and better skiing son and leaves me with ADHD.

Okay. No gloves. Like my younger son is just not as easy, you know. Oh, great. So then we're like, go through skiing and two runs, the kid is like, I think I'm done. I'd like my iPad. I'm like, hey, little fucker. This tick was $132.

Like, we're going to go down this thing 60 more times. Come back. And I'm just like drinking, you know, just sitting outside on the balcony. And he comes around with a big glass of Chardonnay. And he's like, hey, and that is how our fights end. And a nice dysfunctional, no marriage counseling. Don't, let's not talk about the fight again. It's over.

Let's just drink together and move on, like alcoholics do. And he, and then I'm like, and I brought up the fact. I go, I just, you would not be acting like this if I was like a newer girlfriend. Like, you know, so I get into this whole thing of who his girlfriend would be, you know, and how she would deal. And this is, this could be like blanket to any man or this is just like particular to. I just figured like I just like imagine like a 32 year old girl that's like thinks it's cool and she's dating a divorce dad and like oh my god he's really good he's a really great skier and I'm like and if she forgot the gloves he'd be like it's okay babe we'll get another pair

at the ski place but when it's your wife of like 17 years for getting the ski the gloves it's just like I'm an idiot you know and so sometimes I tell Peter I'm like I just sometimes I feel like we should split up and date other people just so the kids could see like a loving really relationship because we like don't like be like romantic and so at one time we were watching bachelor i go um i go what do you think dad would be like if he was over on the bachelor back in the day and he goes well probably great because he's really nice to new people like everybody thinks he's amazing everybody loves him yeah everybody thinks he's amazing at the school and everything and he's like so he'd probably be nice to all these women you know and i go god i just i just imagine and now i have friends you

know that are divorced and going through it. And I just met them this weekend. And it was like, it could be like one of those movies. Like we went for one girl's husband, second husband, who unfortunately died of like cancer really early. And then two of us are married for a long time. One one of the girls has never been married and dating. And the other two were divorced in dating. And, you know, they're like, stay married. Stay married. It's awful out there. And it's so true. It's like everybody gets somebody like new. And I'm like, oh my God. Like this one girl's dating you would love this. She's dating a, um, a doctor who can give her free Botox and everything. I'm like, this is amazing. Like a, like a plastic surgeon doctor. That's my one fear. If Lauren finds that guy,

I could be, I could be done. Yeah, exactly. And so I'm like, oh my God, this is great. But then she starts to reveal now six months later the issues and you're like, that's why I got divorced. Like all these guys that are out there and dating like over 40 and that are divorced, all their wives are psycho. Like there's a reason why they got divorced. Now, can they reform? Can they take those lessons and actually be the greatest second husband that there ever was possibly. But like there is a side. Like, did you watch Real House as both see on Monday? I haven't watched Monday only last week.

Well, they had this moment where Kelly's kind of like, Kelly's like getting more like dick than anybody, right? So she's just, yeah. But then all of a sudden she's like, yeah, I got a lot of boyfriend. I got rocking it out. And she's like, hmm, but it actually sucks. Like she comes and she kind of says, yeah, it's. So the grass isn't always greener. Definitely not always greener.

I mean, it's like, it's really good if you're married and you don't like your husband that much. Nothing bad. Nothing obviously abusive cheating, alcohol, gambling, all that. No. Just saying, like, he's irritating the shit out of you, okay? You need to go and hang out with some girls that are currently dating. Tell us what's that exactly like. It will make you, like, crawl into bed and, like, fuck your husband and, like, thank Jesus.

Wow. Get out there. Go hang out with some daters. It is so. Why? It's just so. hard it's like because they with these apps they have that they they're

these guys can date so many different people or they're a little weird or I mean I know guys that never got laid never had any girlfriends that are getting with more women now than it's almost unbelievable these guys they're like 25 to 30 but like these I'm talking about guys that like never were with women before and now it's just like it's a plethora and then and the other thing happens is that these girls they think like if they start to like

want to find someone of real substance So they go down on their meter of like cuteness and stuff And they think they're doing like Christian service or whatever Like I'm gonna be nice to say Then I realize that eight other girls are doing that same Christian service And fucking that guy that is kind of ugly But owns a home So what is your advice for young people that are like in their 20s

That are dating in this atmosphere? I think I don't know what to tell you. It's horrible. I think we all miss the dating era I think it'll be kind of interesting Because I wonder if like The next turn like I was talking to this girl is 24 actually Jill Zarin's daughter

and we were talking about books and I go everyone wants me to write a book I go but books are like so there's so much work and I don't think the money's there and who's reading books and she I read both your books and I loved them. Thank you but she said that a lot of her friends now it's like cool to be seen carrying a real book

that's like the new thing is like our book's going to come back and maybe like maybe more personal matchmaking I think might come back. I told Mimi my little sister she's 21 to go to Santropay because she was going already. I said, get a book. Maybe Anna

Corinna. I thought you're going to say, like, go me to like Dubai Prince. She could do that too. You bookmark Anna Kerenna. Like, bookmark the shit out of it. Like, you've read it. You highlight it. You bring this book. It's like kind of trashed up, like hit it on the ground. Bring Anna Kerenna right outside all the beautiful boats out there.

And put your phone away. Put your glasses on and just read as you drink your cappuccino. The guys will line up. That's Lauren's theory. A hundred percent. I'd like to see that theory. Let's go it in-camera show. You guys are rushed up to a smart girl that's reading her book, drinking her cappuccino now.

But again, if he approaches her, she could be really bitchy and be like, leave me alone. But then they're more obsessed. Listen, here's what's happening. These guys, yeah, they see the girl with the book. Oh, she's cute. And then they go on their phone.

You want to read. Like, you have to now pretend to read a book you're not excited to read. Like, at least get a good book. Or read your book. Yeah, read your book. If the cover's cheesy and it's a girl laying on balls like mine,

take the cover off, you know, and so you don't really see what it is. Okay, so read a book that you actually like, but take the cover off if there's balls on it. Yes, and if it's like cheesy, like it looks like a fashion magazine. What these dating apps have done for these guys is it's taking all of the intimidation and the, you know, like having your approach. No, they just go on there and like, oh, this one's, here's a bite, right? This one's responding. And so then, you know, because listen, as a man to go and approach a woman cold sitting down

reading a book or in a bar, like that takes some guts. but now they just have this, you know. Yeah, and like remember, you know, I don't even know, you guys might be too young to this, but like if someone was going to ask us out in high school or I was going to ask a guy out because I went to turn an all-girl high school, I had to call the phone where a mom answers. Hello. Oh, hello, Mrs. Jones. May I speak to Michael?

Who's calling, please? Oh, it's Heather McDonald. Hold on. Hello? Hey, it's Heather McDonald. Who? Remember we hung out at that party? I go to Louisville.

Oh. Um, anyway, we have our homecoming dance and I was wondering, oh, yeah, I'm hoping that somebody else is going to ask me. So I'm going to, I have to say no. These are real conversations that happened in my life. Maybe that's why I can go and stand in front of 10,000 people and do stand-up. Yeah. Because I'm like, but I mean, the heart beating, the sweating.

And then I used to do the calls for my friends and act like them because they were dying. But the guys had to do that too. Now, you never have to talk to the parent. You have their own phone number. And you don't have to talk to them. You just text them. So we're all fucked. Yeah.

And a text rejection is a lot better than a verbal rejection. Yeah. Yeah. And you can just never respond to the text. Yeah. And you can be strategic about how you text back because you can have some time. I love to make someone wait. Yeah.

You know? So I mean, I think every era has the dating rules. And I do think that old school rules, like the rules from the 90s or whatever that book was, that was about these two women. They ended up both getting divorced. but at the time they had like great marriages. And they wrote this book about the rules. And it was rules that they took from like their grandmother,

but it was like wait a couple days to return a call. If they don't ask you by Wednesday for a Saturday night date, you don't go. But those rules don't apply anymore with texting. You can't wait two days. Someone will like call, think you've been murdered. I would wait two days if I had to go back and like start dating again. With a text? Yeah.

I would. She used to do it to me all the time. But that's true. But then people are going to know that's bullshit because they're going to know that you saw it. No, I really like how Erica Jane got her husband member. I don't know if you, I think she told us on your podcast. I know exactly how Eric did. I'll tell you how I got my husband. Well, I was working at a very sophisticated restaurant called Chasins. I wore a velvet long dress. And Mr. Girardi would come in there every night. And I looked at him and I went up to him and I said,

Mr. Gerardi, did you hear I was single? And he said, no, I didn't. I go, well, now I am. The next day I got a call, calling from Mr. Girardi's office, and he asked, he would like to see you for dinner? And I said, absolutely not. Tell Mr. Girardi, he needs to call me on the phone himself and ask me. And he did. And that was the first and the last day. We've been together for 18 years ever since.

That is actually the exact story she told on her podcast. But it worked. But it worked. It worked. Sure. Whatever. She hook line and sinkered him. She also went.

So then the next part of the story in the book is, so we were dating for a while and then my lease was up so I took my Toyota Selica with my bags of clothes because he said you can stand my place so I dropped up and he said where's your luggage I said this is it baby

and I moved in and I never moved out it worked for her like in L.A. I feel like there's so much concoction and strategy when you're actually in the city of L.A. where it's like agents and this and that and you see the people you know where we are right

now, like I'm sure if you go to lunch, you, you know, you see people in suits. Like, where I live in the valley, it's rare that you'd see someone in a suit. Where in L.A. do you live? I live in the Woodland Hills Calabasas area. I mean, you see a couple guys, but it's not a big, like, you know, here if you go to lunch, more suburban. Everyone has to wear the suits because they're agents and stuff. So, like, how often do you see the Kardashians at the Health Nut, though?

I've never seen the Kardashians at Health Nut. But they do, I think that they go there, but only when they're filming. I love Health Nut so much. Is it true? You have a brother that tried to fight Kim. Canbo slice? Yes, it is true. Do you know who Kimbo Slices, Lord?

Well, he passed away. But I heard this and I wanted to, this is one of the stranger things I've heard and I wanted to ask you about it. Can you give me the? Yes, I'm very open about my dysfunctional sibling situation. But when I heard that, I was like this, I thought it, I was like, no, that can't be like a true story. So I have a brother who's like a little over 10 years older than I am.

And he's just been fucked up for a long time. And he's in prison. And he, you say wire. Like going crazy and like physically attacking some people. So he writes us letters and stuff. And part of one of the, before he had his, he went to jail like 10 years prior to that. And it was like after like a psychotic episode where he started get to get obsessed with Kimbo Slice and wanting to fight Kimbo Slice. Who's this like street fighter guy.

before the last psychotic episode would put him in the jail, he started to talk about Kimbo Slyce again. And my other brother called me and is like, I think something's going on with him. He's talking about fucking Kimbo Slices again. I was like, Jesus. And so, my brother's old.

And he's not physically fit. And he's just obsessed thinking that he could find him. And then in these letters that he writes to me, in which I share on Patreon, he talks about, you know, Kimball Slices. I could have fought him and everything, you know. And, yeah.

What was the end goal of fighting Kimbo Slices? It was just like to prove? He wanted to put it on YouTube. He wanted to charge a dollar. He wanted me to help him with that since I'm so big in the media and so powerful that I could like, I could get like a pay-per-view fight happening between my brother and Kimbo Slices. And then we didn't know what to do when we found that Kimber Slices died. People are like, are you going to let your brother now?

I'm like, let the news come to him. And then eventually he did find out that he died. And I guess, you know, he just has to accept that. He never had that moment. Maybe he'll fight Colin next. Who? Colin McGregor. Oh, Lauren has no idea of the fight world.

So she's just like, she's just throwing out the first name she knows. Is he a big fighter? He's an actor, isn't he? No, he just fought, he just felt playing with it. I'm sure this audience is loving this conversation. I just had to get to the bottom. It's a very weird story. I fell in love with your podcast, like where I was like, oh my God, I love this is

serial sister. Yes. So that's my other sister. So I have one normal sister who's great and we're very close. who's an attorney and you know we've been very close our whole lives lived together post college and stuff and um and that's what who works with her husband as well then i had this other sister that is six years older than i'm then the one that i'm close to is just two years older and yeah i just um damn your parents were getting busy right well they were catholic and that was the

other thing after they had my sister who's cat who i was i was i was they could name katrina whatever people figured it out once they had her my mom went on the pill And some friend of hers got like a blood clot. So she went off the pill and then had two more kids. And then so we were mistakes, which is another thing my brother likes to bring up all the time. That not only did I cost my parents the USC tuition because I went to USC. He's obsessed with how much USC cost. And so he's therefore, he thinks I owe him part more of the inheritance because my parents are gone.

Because had I not gone to USC, there would have been more money for him and the other siblings that never went college. And it's very weird. So, yeah. And so anyway, my sister just was really awful to me, like the last, you know, through. So I ended up, I started to tell the story because I was like, I just am going to tell the story and it. And I'm just going to share it. And every day I, that the new episode could come out, I'd wake up like, oh my God, people are going to say I'm horrible for sharing these stories. And nobody ever did. And it was like really freeing for people that have, you know, bad sibling, adult sibling relationships. And I think it's one thing that just has never been discussed.

Like you turn on Dr. Phil or whatever and it's about my horrible mother or my kid won't get out of the house or whatever. But what about the person that has like the adult, you know, sibling relationship that's really dysfunctional, really awful. And you finally are like married and raising your own kids and you realize how fucked up it is. And maybe your parents perpetuated it because it's like a common theme is the Catholic theme that people have written me.

that they're like I came from a similar home where it's you know forgive and forget and family and let's not discuss it and all that stuff so um once my parents were gone I'm like I'm fucking telling the story how did your sister react well I already had a restraining order against her and I'd blocked her from stuff but prior to that like you know she would just say the most horrible things like I remember um when I before I told the story and I hadn't blocked her officially I just posted like a photo of Peter and I and she's like writes this long thing. He's a pedophile. He molested my daughter since she was nine. Even though I had another restraint. I had a restraining on her back then. So there was no way, even if you wanted to believe that, there was no way that that could have happened. What is this all

stem from though? Like what does the anger towards you stem from? Just weird jealousy. And then once I cut her off from my life, it's like I think that that made her angry at herself because I do think that she enjoyed me. At one time, we had like a fun friendship. She was really naturally, my family was all really naturally funny and everything. I'm the only one that bothered to make it happen into a career. So I think she was, is sort of jealous of that, you know. I was a fucking funny one. Like she'd like say these things like that. And I was like, okay. But like, you never took an acting class. You never like, I mean, yeah, you might have been. Yeah, maybe you are funnier than me. But like, you didn't do anything with it.

I want to go back and know how you got into comedy in the first place. So I got into comedy the first place was just, I kind of, when I was at SC, I wasn't pursuing drama or acting or anything because I just thought I wanted to be like a business woman and have money. And I was so jaded by the business growing up here. But then once I had like a regular job and it was so awful,

I kind of had this epiphany of like, like this side of me like the Christian Catholic side of me that was like I have these gifts that I know not everybody has which is being funny doing impersonations and by me not pursuing it I think it's kind of like a nephew to God and so I was like I think I should try to do this and so then I took a learning annex class that my friend like threw down and insisted that I do shout out to Maya dryer she always wants credit it's so like we're still friends she Maybe the learning addicts thing. And I went and I went to this class and it was like the first time I got that like, oh,

as long as I set up the joke and the story properly, you don't have to personally know me. Because I didn't understand how like the stuff I, that everyone thought was funny was always personal. Oh, it was a sorority soror. It was about the night out. It was our high school math teacher. So once I kind of understood that, which is why I say I do think writing classes and comedy classes and stand-up classes when people say, You can't be taught comedy. You should be naturally funny, but definitely there's a rhythm and a math to it.

It gives you the structure. Yeah, there's definitely a way that you can get better like anything else. Like, if you've never made someone laugh, I don't think you should pursue stand-up. But like if people constantly tell you you're funny, these class, those type of classes are very helpful. I feel like stand-up comedy has to be, and this is my opinion, maybe I'll get flack with this, but it has to be the hardest form of entertainment, in my opinion. It totally is because you're the right or the producer. You have no one else to depend on but yourself, which is one of the things I do like about it,

because no one can tell me no or what to do. Which is one of the reasons why I really love the podcast, you know. But I mean, with podcasting, like, you know, you can edit, you can kind of get in a rhythm, you have a lot of time. Like, stand-up comedy, you're standing in front of X amount of people. You're probably bombing a lot. Like, what I always would find interesting is if they could do a document or a comedian, like, showing the process, like, when they're growing and, like, bombing until they get to the point

where you get in a rhythm and you know you refine the jokes and people start laughing because the only way for you to test your material right is in front of an audience or am I wrong yeah I mean yeah but I mean the better you get and you like I know more so I know what works what I the way I would always test it was like I would be telling someone a story and they'd be laughing and they'd be like is this in your act or you know now with the podcast I kind of know like sometimes I can like come across the story and I'll tighten it up and put it in the stand up um but now it's like the stress never ends like now I have the stress of am i going to be able to sell as well and even better this year than i did last year are the people going to come back you know

what are the numbers now i have to deal with the numbers before i never got paid and i just hoped that people would laugh now you know now i have to make sure you remember your first gigs do you remember like what like did you just kill it in the beginning or did you it was after like a class. I took a whole course and it was like a little recital and it was at the Santa Monica Impro that no longer exists and I did my jokes and it went really well. That's the other thing I tell people to, you know, if you're going to do it, try to have a first positive experience, you know, like sex. Like try to make it positive because you may not want to do it again. Like try to make a positive like have your routine down, practice it, invite friends. And you know, it may not be as great

is that first time after that, but at least if you have like, you know, if it's not a disaster the first time, then you might want to keep doing it or you might want to just do it that once and check it off your bucket list. I don't know. You know how people feel about it. And I feel like you can also use your secret face or your, I call it a secret Facebook group, but your Facebook group as almost like a focus group as well. I guess. I mean, I don't, you know, I like to try to keep some things fresh that they can't, that they, that hasn't been on the podcast. It wasn't on my special. It wasn't, you know, this is special to the live shows that aren't being taped and, you know, and stuff like that. So I try to keep like certain things

unique. So you obviously have a very thick skin at this point, like with the podcast and doing stand up. Like what are things that get you? Like what are things that like piss you off or just like got me? That's like a bummer that someone said that like. Well, I mean, I've gotten over the fact that, um, like Hollywood doesn't seem to realize how fantastic I am. Yeah, but that part does. you do your own podcast, which is incredible. So, I mean, I have high aspirations for what is coming in the future and I'm working the secret and I'm being positive and I love that I have that ability. But at a certain point, yeah, I get kind of, I get kind of bum like that my friends are on TV

shows and I'm not. I mean, I would love to see you on Real Housewives. Everyone says that. Really. Yeah, please can we get you on your house? But at this point, would you want to do it because you have your show. Honestly, I don't know that I would anymore. Yeah, because you have all your stuff.

I think I kind of had an epiphany when I was in the Hamptons with Jill Zairen and I was talking to Juliet from London. I think that they seek out couples women who are about to get divorced or could or they could expose flaws in the marriage that will cause a divorce. And at this point, I don't want to be divorced. There's times I might have wanted it more. I don't now. I really don't. I want to like go the distance. Give us the juice on the Hamptons. Was it fine? It was really fun, but I mean, when you look at like who they picked for the OC, one girl's already filed for a divorce and the other one talks about breaking up with her husband in every single episode. So even if she said other great things, they're going to show that part.

She's going to fight with her husband at night and they're probably aren't going to last. And so because they realize that people sitting at home love to watch the demise of a marriage. And then the one, you know, or they make, or if the guy is supportive of his wife, like a Doreet and P.K., they tear them down and say how gross he is. She's right. That is true. So it's like, that's a hard thing than to keep your spouse happy. Who wants to watch somebody on TV just like, hey, everything's going smooth and great?

Like you're like, whatever. So it's like if they choose you, you should be a little suspicious. Like actually, Denise Richards, it's perfect for her. What, are they going to criticize her pig that she raises raising? No, she's a single one with three kids. She can't talk about Charlie Sheen at all. Her dad's still nice. That's it.

Like for her, she has nothing to lose. Are you excited for her on this season? I'm not not excited. I was very disturbed at how similar, I always said that Teddy looked like Denise Richards. So when they actually chose Denise Richards, I don't know, I hope Teddy's coming back, but they do look a lot of like.

So not that that matters, but I think it's kind of funny. Who's your favorite housewife on all the franchises? Out of all of them? I mean, out of all of them, I'm honestly probably closest to Jill Zeran and Tamara, but I like Kelly Dodd. I like Shannon Bador.

I really like Teddy. I hung out with her the other night. I really enjoyed it. All these girls women have been on my shows too. So I think Kyle's like really smart. I think Kyle has it all. I hope nothing happens to her. Well, something did.

They robbed her. They robbed her house. But that's the worst thing has happened. Like the marriage is still intact. The girls are all successful. The daughters. I empathize with her horrible sister relationship. She has pretty hair.

She has pretty hair. I get that the two sisters. are mad and jealous that she, again, they could have sold a show about their mother too. Okay? She's the one that met the company that told the stories that got the thing made. So now they, I don't know if they're talking anymore or what, but she made that very clear that that that was a problem that when she came up with American woman, which was a story based on her life, they got mad.

And she has to constantly say, it's, you know, whatever she says, it's interpretive or it's based on, it's not a true story. You know, it's just to say all that. but I remember when I was I sold a TV show and I and they said it's because it's your life rights you got to get your siblings and your parents and everybody to sign off on it so everybody did but my weird siblings okay and they were like is it the brother and your sister yes and they were like we we have our own store I just paid them a couple hundred dollars to sign it and they did and then of course like it got sold to CBS and then never saw the light of day but the point is like

I, so I, I, I appreciate Kyle's life. Okay. I think like she's the smartest and she's, and she's become the most, she's maintained the most unscathed, unscathed with the fans. Yeah, she has done a really good job. And she, you want her to keep coming back season after season. I want to know how you met Chris Jenner, because you go way back with Chris Jenner, right? So Chris Jenner, I met because I was friends with Jillian, Barbara Reynolds. And love her.

Jillian was doing ice skating with the stars. and so was Bruce Jenner, who was Bruce at the time. Okay? I know the rules, but I'm going to just say, Caitlin, whatever, okay, Caitlin. I think if you're dealing with like a time period, it's okay to say Bruce. You know what they said, no. No?

They said they're taking that, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm going to for sure get eaten up. I have no idea what the rules are. They say no, you're not supposed to. It's Caitlin. So anyway, Caitlin was ice skating in a military suit. Okay, hold on. What happens to all that history then?

Like, if you, like, when you say, like, Bruce Jenner set the records. I don't know what they're doing. I think they're like changing streets and stuff. Caitlin Jenner at the time had short hair and was wearing a suit from officer and a gentleman. That was the dance that she, the skate that she was doing with her female partner. And so we went and and there were all the girls eating candy with Chris and we all met. And then Chris was going to have a viewing party. And how long ago is this?

This is before the show. I was pregnant with my son. now 12. So this is like 13 years ago. And so she goes, oh, come to my house at Calbass. We're going to have like a screening part. And now I had it had the baby. And I went. And that was like the first time I saw anyone like get catered food, but then put it in different platters. And I was like, wow. I used to call it pulling a Christian. And I think a lot of people do it. But at the time, like I just came from like, wouldn't you just keep it in the tin that it came in? But no. Like so it really looked nice. And she always had like a helper there.

Even though they were like not rolling in it. She always lived like she had money. you know and that night the two little girls kennel and kiley were like we've got to show upstairs and we go upstairs and they have a pool table there and kiley is standing on the pool table and she's wearing a belly dancer off it doing shakara shakara and it was like pretty good but also like very sexual like and so i mean it's kind of interesting because she was like the most outgoing really you know and then and seemed like she wanted the limelight more than anybody else like she was the one that was no, a bunch of people are coming over, they're going to see me do Shakira. And so they're like, oh my God. And then I just remember Caitlin at the time picking her up and saying, okay, this is

enough of this. This is too much, whatever. And then I remember sitting there and I'm sitting there with Chloe and I'm looking at some photo and I go, who are these fat kids? And she goes, that's us. And it was her. They were all really fat. I go, what? Because she wasn't, you know. And she's like, oh, I guess my mom just like, after the divorce, like let us eat as much candy and stuff as we wanted so because it was like time and then you know they all so then after that we just remained friends i would go to the baby store we'd have events we'd see each other and then the summer of 2007 i had a party at my house they all came i just started chelsea lately and that's when she chris told me we got a reality show it's going to start at the end of the summer i go what network she goes

e and i'm like oh my god that's amazing and then like the first week of Chelsea lately. Nobody knew who Chelsea was so that the EP was having a really hard time getting guests. And she's like, can you get anybody? I'm like, well, do you want, you know, do you want Bruce Jenner? You know? And they're like, yes. So I'm like, okay, let me call Chris. And I'm like, Chris, can you like promote the show early? And because I'm like, we don't care. We need someone. So then they came on. Then they would come on all the time. And didn't, they were kind of like a joke on the show, right? Like, like, well, when the show, when you went to the show first, started. No, I mean, on Chelsea, they were kind of like, like, they would use the Kardashians to, like,

laugh. Yeah, like, I mean, in the beginning, it was, like, fun. Then she turned on them and, like, hated them for, like, four years. And then in the end, she kind of, like, would have Chloe come around. And is Chris the same as she was when you first met her to this day? Always a hustler. I mean, always a hustler, always, like, fun. When it's a girl's night, you know, or having a dinner, she's always, like, really great.

always like great entertainer always like you know gifts and things and done nicely but yeah I mean there's a different level and they have different they're exposed to different people when you're on Tommy Hill figures yacht I'm not comfortable inviting you to my house

for a barbecue I'm not you know and that's so am I the one that's like possibly pulling back from the relationship a little bit because someone gets so escalated yes but like when my mother died and I invited her to the thing at my house she was there like you know so but yeah I'll go to like yeah I feel that way and she would maybe she would still come to stuff like I'm not saying she wouldn't and she was like a podcast yeah I know I think when people though become so elevate and the other part is she's 62 years old with nine grandchildren so you know does she you know yeah is it more fun to hang out with Jennifer Lawrence than me again I would take it I would go have dinner with Jennifer Lawrence over Heather McDonald I would I would I would go home

hang out with Cardi B. I would. You've already hung out with me. You don't even take pictures of me anymore when we're together. I can't even like get an ad mention a tag. So it's like whatever. Okay, so tell us about the tumbler or the glass

cup. So it's kind of interesting because I just married, I just officiated my first wedding. So Chris Ferengela, who's from, who is my friend that I'm on Chelsea lately, who is always on Juicy scoop and does live shows with me and his hilarious stand-up. He got married, and that was a big coup because we never talked about him being serious with anybody. So the juicy scrupers went crazy. And I married them, which was really

fun. You got ordained and everything? Yes, online. It takes like one second. But I wrote the whole ceremony because they were not religious, so like I'd come up with stuff. And then one of the things was like, you have several choices of what to say with the ring. And some of them are like, with this ring, I'm ready to rock this journey. Like some of it's really cash. And I'm like, okay, I won't involve Jesus, but I am going to like mention faithfulness because like you guys need to commit to being faithful. So they were like great. And so every, a bunch of people from Chelsea lately were there and it was really great. And it was weird how the universe like works or whatever, like what you put out there. Like two days later, I opened this cabinet and this cup that has been

there for years. I just, all of a sudden I noticed that, so it was what it was is we had this like, kind of this background that was like all these different purple and pink squares. And for one year, the assistant would go around and give you the thing and you pick a square and you would write like whoever it is. Like let's say. At Chelsea lately. Yes. Like let's say the editor is, it's his birthday.

So you'd write like something that reminds you of the editor, you know, oh, funny or, you know, taking your time or whatever you want to say. And then your name. You were writing on the show. Yes. as a writer and I peer on the show. So then, and then you'd get the cup and you'd have like, you know, we'd have like a little like cake or whatever that day. And so I pulled out the cup and I never had noticed, but on the one white square, which

was reserved for Chelsea, she wrote pig, CH. And everybody else wrote like Kardashians, Drew Barrymore, hair, dance, the Wayne's brothers, like things that were related to be USC or mom or whatever. and what I thought was amazing and I posted it on my private page is I was like wow I remember getting this cup I don't remember being hurt by that I don't remember being affected by it because I was so deep into the constant straight up bullying that happened there daily and being made fun of and all that stuff and it became like a riff of the show which would be majorly unacceptable today like it's amazing how many things on our show and that being one of, which was the comedy.

The comedy was her, you know, being mean to people, but that was also the reality too. But it just, yeah. So I'm like, oh, you know, isn't that interesting? I didn't. And then I probably got like a nice gift that the assistant picked out. And then I had to be like, oh my God, thank you so much for the necklace. Never like, hey, like never would I go, this is what you really think of me? Or why would you write that?

Now I'm going to keep this cup and I'm going to always have to see that. like why would you do but it's just like a you know you look back and you just you know anybody that's been in any kind of relationship whether it's a friendship or a boss or a husband or a parent or what you're like oh okay i mean now you have this incredible podcast with millions of downloads and this incredibly engaged audience where where do you think the next sort of step for you is i mean i would love juicy scoop to be some type of tv show whether it's streaming or not because I do so many impressions and I come up with like sketch ideas. So I would like to be like that, but with a little more comedy, but also have the interviews,

have the hot topics, but be broad. And then also when there's something really juicy that I address that too. And it doesn't always have to be funny. You know, I want it to be what the show is. It's juicy scoop. So it's whatever I, whatever I'm into, you know, which can be the fun stuff, but then also the deeper stuff, which I love getting into. And I love being in the position of like being of a certain age

and a point in my career where I like, I don't give a fuck. Like I'm not scared that I just told you that story. Good. Pick it up. Whatever. Like, but for years, I was terrified. Terrified. You're able to unapologetically be yourself. You know what I think it's shift to do too now,

especially now you have this podcast. You can reach millions of people. Like you have a microphone where if somebody writes something, you can address it immediately and get it out to millions of people where like, you know, traditionally before, if someone writes something, you have no response, right? Like, and if people don't pick up the response, you're screwed. But for you or us or anybody that has a podcast, and you're like, yeah, they said that and this is my take on it, like too bad.

Selfishly as a listener of your show, I'm glad that Hollywood didn't pick you up because now you have this platform that you can say whatever you want to say. And to me, I would way rather listen to your podcast than watch some, you know, show that has 20 producers puppeteering it. Yeah, I mean, I was very happy when I was there. I thought I was very happy when I was there. I was like, wow. Like, I thought I was happy in my 30s when I was just home with the kids.

Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm on TV and I get to do stand-up and blah, blah. But, I mean, I am the happiest now. I mean, it's like, I keep, I'm like, and I think the next five years will even be better because just being able to, just being able to do what you want, you know, and not, and not worry about, like, oh, my God, I said that. That means I'm going to be blackballed. And I'm just like, it's so freeing.

It's so freeing to have said so much. Like, I probably have been black, I know I've been blackballed from stuff. I know I have because I've like investigated it. So I'm like, okay. Like what stuff? Like certain TV shows and stuff that I would have been great for. Just because you said something or something. Yeah.

You know, when people don't realize it's just one person that like doesn't like you. You know? And or that happened and they're just like, no, we're not going to have her. And, um, I mean, a perfect. example is when Chloe had her cocktail, Chloe's cocktails with Chloe, when that show came, I was like, oh my God, I'm so happy for you. I'd love to be on it.

Now, every time Chloe came on Chelsea lately, I was always next to her. I would help her when she, because she co-hosted like twice. So anytime she was on, I was on with her if she did the round table and she requested that and I would help her write the stuff. And, you know, that was great. We were, you know, friendly. And so when the show came about, I was like, I would love to be on.

on it absolutely and I had a production deal with the production that was doing it Pilgrim and I was it was with Ross Matthews and we're there and he's like oh and Ross goes oh and I'm doing Chloe's cocktails with Chloe and I go oh yeah I'm like I'm supposed to be doing that my people are pitching me I don't know what's going on and this is after like the you know Chelsea and I were in the news for not getting along because I because I shared what my experience was on that podcast and and and I And he goes, oh, well, of course we want you on that show. Picks up the phone to call whoever. And he's like, okay, I know you booked Ross.

I'm here with Heather McDonald's. Uh-huh. Okay. Great, great. Yeah, they're going to get you on. Never get on. Okay. And now they're like really scraping the barrel for guests and watching who they're having.

Is that show still going on? No. No. So I finally one day. I see Polly Shore is on. Now, I Polly Shore was on my show. I like him, but I don't, I would think I would make it on the show before Polly Shore. We're personal friends.

Like, I'm a girl. Like, I don't know. I just, you know, and I was like, what's going on? Chelsea's booked for a future episode. And they're not going to have you on before that because they're afraid that'll piss her off. And then she, even though she may have never said anything, she probably wouldn't have cared. But that's how these things work. And I was like, okay.

And who knows, who knows if Chloe knew? Or if I was even on her radar. Like, I'm sure if they would have said Heather's going on the show, she would have been great. But I don't think she was like, where's Heather McDowell? I mean, I just think it was like, whatever. And we didn't have like a texting relationship where I was like, Chloe, when am I going to be on? I just assumed I would be on. And so then I was like, okay.

And then shortly after that, I think Chloe actually, or mutual, they pulled the plug on it. And actually, I don't think she ever did the episode. Why do you think it was gone for it? shows don't work, right? Because like obviously they have massive audiences, all of the Kardashians collectively, generis collectively. Yeah. But some of those spin-off shows, they don't take off. It's just like, what do you think the reason behind that is? I mean, you know, I think what it is is that, you know, these people that have these huge followings, it doesn't necessarily, you know, 82 million might watch, you know, watch you on Instagram, but that doesn't make them run to the TV and

turn it on. It's just like a different medium. And I think they're, you know, the Hollywood's starting to realize that because so many things like literally people I know that are actresses would sign in and they'd be like and what's your Instagram and what's your Twitter? And they're like, what about my Emmy? Like really? Because they were so convinced like a couple years ago that like that's what's going to get people to watch their CW show. And I think it's a really important thing for an actor not to ignore. You have to engage with social media and you have to get your following up. But then there's certain actors that are like, I'm a real actor and I don't want to expose my whole life on social media. So does that mean like I'm never

going to get a part? It's just very weird. And I think they're starting to realize that like, they don't necessarily cross over. I've noticed it too when I've had people that are supposedly big YouTube stars and then they come on my podcast and I'm like, get ready for this one. And it's like, nobody cares. My audience doesn't know who they are. And then they don't even promote it. Or they promote it and their people don't go. Oh my God. Hannah Hart's on Heather Rintoll's podcast. I've got to listen to that podcast. I've got to subscribe. Like, I didn't notice anything. You also said that a lot of the guests will like promise that they're going to Instagram or promote it and then they don't. Yes. So that I really pissed me off. So that like that

I thought it was hilarious when one on your show and then like your audience was reaching out like, oh right, Lauren, where's the? Well, I had my Instagram ready for 2 p.m. Yes. And so or because I said I'm Instagram right. So it was ready for 2 p.m. and like literally the second the episode went live, your audience was like, where is it? Where is it? And I'm like, wait until 2 p.m. That's my highest engagement. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, no, and of course, as long as it's done like some time that day. But now I really do like ask and stuff. But I also, I also know that like the audience is going to listen every episode pretty much anyway. Yeah, you have a very engagement. Yeah. And then like, yes, of course, some go a little higher if they're like juicier or the people

are more popular. But for the most part, like, you know, every show is pretty entertaining. So. Why do you think and how did you curate this amazing community? Because you really do have like it's insane. You have like a tribe. I think because I'm really authentic and I think because I'm not a hypocrite. And I think because I don't give a shit. I think that helps. And, you know, I like to call out hypocrites.

There's so many. And but, you know, I also don't want to like dis other people. But it's very, I think it's. like I think people are like recognizing that more. Well, I think people know that even if they may disagree or dislike something you say, they know it's not bullshit and it's like actually what you want to say and how you feel. I think that's what's cool about podcasting. With TV, I know you like TV, but I always talk to people that have built, you know,

massive audiences which you have. It's like, do you really even need the TV anymore? Because you kind of already have what I think that TV would do for you. You know, like I'm working with this production company and I hope to, you know, make it a show because I think I think the Christian thing to do is. to let more people know about me. But I did say I won't stop the podcast. I will not stop the podcast because the podcast can go on forever.

And a TV is so fickle. If I don't have the viewers, it's going to be canceled. And I don't want it to ever seem like if I try this and it doesn't work, that it's at all a failure because it's not. You know, but it's worth trying. So we'll see what happens. Well, TV's measuring off different metrics. Like you can have a massive podcast and be massively successful.

But if TV, like maybe there's a couple million people listening, but if it's not enough to meet their advertising metrics, then it's like, oh, we've got to cancel. I mean, regardless of how big, it doesn't mean anything. Yeah, it doesn't mean that you're unsuccessful or, you know, that it wasn't great. I mean, what I do love is that, like, my, you know, my friend did insatiable pilot for CW, and then they didn't pick it up, and then Netflix picked it up.

And I do love, like, in this day and age that there is that option, too. You know, so in doing something like that, I would hope that, you know, maybe it could keep running itself. or whatever. It could be streaming. I don't know. But yeah, it's just nice not to have to be like

at the mercy of someone that's, you know, does a focus group or, oh, I've had people tell me that too. I did a pilot and they said that the focus group didn't like me. Yeah, but that's the whole problem is they're looking at the wrong focus group

because there's millions of people over here. Who's doing a focus group? You know what's interesting though? You know, someone that might have jobs that are educated and that's not the person that's doing a focus group for $15, you know? We have younger sisters

And I always ask them like what's going on with the youth, you know, because they're 21, 22. And I'm like, what do you guys up to? They told us about Snapchat. They turned us on all these new things. And they say they don't even own cable boxes. They just do everything streaming or on the phone on the computer. And so I think like that's going to age up, right? Like those people are.

Right. You're not going to get, I mean, if you have access to Netflix and all these streaming services and abundance of TV shows, they're like, why pay $200 a month for cable or whatever it is? Right, which is great. And I like that they're like thrifty. Like for me, I will never give up my TV. like I love my TV I like to I like the remote I have a TV in my backyard so when I skate Peter with my dinner I go and listen I like in the like the covered patio I like to watch TV I mean I just like for me

I love it you know I also will like watch it on my iPad when I want a plane something but you know I like being old scroll of it I just like the the pattern of it but I get it when you weren't raised with it why you don't care but we watch regular TV with our kids we still watch it I like all the guests that you've had on juicy scoop every single one who was the juiciest interview that you just like loved it was a home run the audience loved it i don't know if the audience loved it but i love the one that i just did today that'll be out tomorrow i don't know when this is going to be out Nicole egert yeah okay i like getting her because she's told her story on other mediums about her experience um on charles in charge with scott beao but when you have the time that we had there was a lot more that came out and i and i'm curious to see

what the audience feels because some people were not excited that she was coming on. And so I kind of like, you know, that it stirs up something. God, my favorite that I liked. You did. Yeah, Kyle, I really liked because she really, you know, and she was so down to earth and like came just like casual with her perfect face and her like long silky like horse hair. And, you know, and stayed for like two hours. So she's a nice lady.

Yeah. So I really, I really like that one. I mean, you know, anytime I have a comedian on like one of my friends, I love it. I liked Chris Jenner's interview. I liked, I think everyone should listen to Serial Sister, though. That was like, that. And you can go back and listen to that, or you can join Patreon and there's like a place

where you can go find it and listen. Amazing. And it'll be all put together. Before you go, I want to know, this is kind of a different question. Your top three beauty tips. Oh, well, let's see. Maybe your eyelash trick. Maybe your audience has heard that

So I don't know Maybe something different Maybe this audience has I just did an eyelash video On my Instagram at Heather MacDonald Of how I do the individual triples Okay And lay them after I do my mascara

So that's a good one Let's see I really love a few things that I love Okay I'm a woman of a certain age So I like a glowy face So like I can have a lot of moisture So I love

For bronzer Chanel makes this like tub that you use with a brush and so it won't give you a powdery look. It'll give you a creamy, glowy look. Love it. And that's not, and it's not super expensive. So I love the Chanel. I love Chanel and the under eye concealer of Chanel. I love that in a little tube.

That's like $35 or something. But it's really going to last long. I love Juergen Self-Tanner. I don't get spray tanned. I only use Jurg and self-tanner. Yeah, look at my hand. And you know what I just did recently? I went to the full-on Korean spa.

The best. The best. Which one do you go to? The one in downtown L.A. I go in San Diego at Aqua. I just experienced it at Irvine. Which one is Irvine? It's called Eye Spa, like Irvine Spa.

They like hit you and beat you. I don't, they don't beat you as much, but it is weird. Like you get on this like autopsy table and it is just like bush out. And they're scrubbing your body. But you will not. never exfoliate your body like a Korean woman can when you're paying her. Michael's mom goes to them once a week. I don't need to envision my mom on the table. One just opened to Northridge and I'm in Woodland Hills. I think I'll start doing it,

maybe not once a week, but I definitely think like twice a month. Instead of going outside to watch TV and eat your pulled chicken, you should just go to the Korean spa. Well, this is what I also thought of doing. If I really hit it big and I'm ever like building a new bathroom, do a bathroom that's big enough to put the gurney table in there. That's perfect. Then you don't have to go and see everyone else's bush it. Instead of a cup holder, do a salad holder.

Yeah, like I had a friend who's really, yes, I had a friend who was really wealthy and she built a whole spa thing with like small rooms and stuff. And I'm like, no, what she should have done is just did like one big shower, like a couple shower, but that's big enough that you can bring the table in there and the woman can scrub you. I feel like she would like Peter and John. No, I just go there like once a week. It's just a massage. it's not like a big

right no I know the crappiest like little place it's a hole we have all those everywhere it's the best

yeah but these guys don't talk to you like you can go on your phone and get your work done we have you ever go on to the

those places to get your massage and then you get somebody and they're only using one hand no you have to Peter and John doesn't do that

you know what I have a hard time going to like nice hotel spas because I feel like it's too much of routine yeah and it's

I do this one side let me put the sheet don't pet me with the leaf you know and like they have like They're like wiping your, like, I just, I want to get, like, in there and get it done. Get it in there.

You can do your emails while you get a foot rub. It's amazing. Yeah. No one talks to you. It's dark. You don't know who you're next to. You don't know whose blanket you're on. Pillow might have lice, crabs, whatever.

It's like, you know, you don't care. Don't, don't sell this up, please. I can't believe you wouldn't let me tell everyone about Peter and John. Is Peter and John's an actual place? Are those the two guys that you like? Those are the two guys. But listen, the, I'm, I share everything, but that's like the one thing. I'm like, I can't turn around and see someone.

see somebody like that's my, you can't fuck that place up. I love it. I just did. Thank you for coming on. Pimp yourself out. Tell us where to find you your Instagram handle, everything. So everything is at Heather MacDonald.net. And you can get the podcast there. I do like, you know, a little behind the scenes about each podcast that I just started doing. So you can see like what I really thought of the guest or whatever. All my dates are there. I'm going to be in Tempe in September 7th and 8th. at the Tempe Improv. I'm going to be in Dallas and Houston in September. So everything is there at Heather MacDonald.net.

And then it's at Heather McDonald on Instagram. I really, I think I give great Instagram. It's funny. It's funny. It's not all curated and beautiful. I'm not looking down at my toes while my husband takes a photo. It's just like me like doing stuff. And then

we talked one time about your Instagram and I thought we were going to work on something on Instagram. You never call me back. You broke my heart. Well, we can talk. We're here now. Broke my heart. Yeah. So, and Twitter is at Heather McDonald. And, oh, Facebook is Heather McDonald comedy. And my books, you can still get on audio and regular. It's, you'll never blue ball in this town again. It's really good dating stories about my life in Hollywood in the 90s. And then my inappropriate life. So they're both really fun. I love my books, you guys. Yeah. So if you want to find a guy in Santa Pei, get my book, act like you're reading it. God forbid you really read it. Bookmark it. Doggier. Guys will just be coming at you. try it you guys it'll work thanks for coming on thank you wait guys don't go just yet did you know that we have

a new podcast site tscpodcast.com it has everything in one place it's all organized you can get some awesome resources all the guest recommendations a lot of book recommendations too and all our sponsors are in one spot okay so you can check it out go to tscpodcast dot com let us know what you think and make sure you're following along on Instagram, it's at TSC Podcast. Thank you guys so much for listening. We will see you next Tuesday. And remember, there was two episodes last week. So there was a Tuesday and Thursday episode last week. This episode was brought to you by Grove Collaborative. Grove Collaborative offers healthy alternatives to household supplies and we use it for all of our cleaning supplies. To try Grove Collaborative, go to grove.com slash skinny. Again, that's grove.com not.com slash skinny for $30 in free

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