The Bossticks - #24: Love Chub, Losing Diamonds, & Influencer Culture

Episode Date: August 16, 2016

Lauryn & Michael are back in the States! They give a recap of their Europe trip and share a story about a lost diamond earring. You'll also hear the first ever, 'Him & Her Tip of The Week,' how influencer culture has changed in the last five years and some ideas are shared on how to motivate your partner to work out. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

The following program is a podcast one.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

Aha. Hey guys. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast. We are back in Beverly Hills from France. We have me, Lauren Everett's. I'm the creator of the Skinny Confidential. And my lovely, caring, fiancée, Michael Bostic. Lovely and caring, the best combination. Yes, we also have Kevin, our producer. He's looking hot in his floral shirt.

Is that floral? It's got a flower pattern. Yeah. We're excited because we're going to have really good sound now that Kevin's back. Last week, we were abroad running around. We were using my little mobile mic. And it was pretty crazy because we were recording in a kitchen. in the middle of Provence in like a thousand-year-old, a couple thousand-year-old town.

Drinking gallons of rosé. Luckily, I was able to send the file to Kevin, and he was able to work his magic. There was bells going off. There was taps on the table. There was people falling over. I was eating pasta. Pesto pasta. There was rosé glasses clanging around.

Yeah. It was natural. It was authentic, right? That's all you can hope for. We want to thank you guys for all the support with the skinny confidential him and her podcast. We are obsessed with podcasting as a medium, and it's been so much fun delivering these shows you on a weekly basis. So if you like the show, please, please, please tell your friends

and ask them to listen. It's what keeps the show growing so that we can continue to produce the show for free every week. For free. Free. Okay, so let's get right into it. So yeah, we're back. Last show, you know, we talked about being in San Trope, in Provence, in the South. We gave a bunch of travel tips. We talked about Snapchat stories and Instagram updates. So if you haven't heard that episode, go take a listen. It's fun. We love doing those shows when we're in Brow. I mean, it's a little difficult. Kevin probably has a rough time with it, but... Actually, you have a rough time with it because I've never seen someone so stressed. I'm just trying to chill and, like, have a conversation and you're all over the place.

That's because all you have to do is show up and start talking. I'm, like, trying to set things up. I don't know how to use the programs. I mean, you press on on a microphone. I'm frantically calling Kevin. He's frantically calling me, like, the connection's dropping. Kevin's laughing. How pathetic was it the first time we tried to record?

Oh, man. Yeah. All I can say is hotel Wi-Fi. Yeah. See, that's another thing. Lauren's like, what's your, listen, Lauren was so, like, we were, we were having a good time in San Tro Pei. Let's just say that. I mean, and Lauren's like, when we were trying to record that episode in San Tro Pei, she was like, you're so off.

You can't do this. Like, I was like, Lauren, I was like, you're like six, like, sheets to the wind right now. I was a little kind of drunk, so we had to wait to record it. But in my defense, it was 8 o'clock at night, and I had like three glasses of rosé. Yeah, and we had Moose Knuckle there. Yeah. We had Moose Knuckle, Alex. It's funny because he's now developed the name moose knuckle

And people are reaching out to him on social calling him moose knuckle Throw him a hashtag moose knuckle And whenever you get around that guy He's just the drinks are flowing So the drinks are flowing Anyways from there we went to stayed with Alex And his dad as everybody knows And then we went to Paris by train

Oh my God Help me You by train If you guys have seen him on Snapchat flying is 20 million times worse by train. Like, he is absurd. No, no, no, no, no, no. Let me explain.

No, you need to admit it, though. No, not worse. Let's have an honest conversation. I hope there's some men out there listening so they can understand my pain. Maybe your dad and my dad. Yeah, maybe. I think there's a couple out there. So we go to get on the train and Lauren brings these enormous suitcases.

Okay, no problem. And? And? You can't carry them. No, I can't. You're the guy. Carry the suitcase. Okay, no problem, usually.

but they weigh like 75 pounds apiece. And you're yelling at me and I'm trying to get you on the train. And then lo and behold, we find out that our seats are on the upper level and there's no place on the lower level to put the train. So she goes upstairs to take her seat and I have to lug these bags up and down the thing. And she's Snapchatting me the whole time. Like, I'm fucking losing it because I know it's like, ha ha, ha, funny. He's carrying these bags, but I'm sweating and shaking and almost breaking my wrist trying to carry these bags.

And she's Snapchatting the whole thing like, uh-huh. And it sucks. And so you're like, oh, why are you so panicked? No, I'm just easy going. You're sitting there with a fanning yourself and I'm sitting there like carrying 95 pounds of bags up the stairs. I was eating some pretzels, enjoying myself relaxing. Ooh, you eat pretzels? Gotcha. Honestly, one's...

Skinny confidential exposed. No, I eat pretzels. I know. So, you don't eat pretzels. You don't eat pretzels. Yeah. The salted ones on the train are so good. That's a big plug for pretzels.

Roll gold? No, big. Give me a call. No, no, no. So we get off the table. train and he's sweating, he's perspiring, he's complaining, he's huffing, he's puffing, I'm chill, my podcast is on, I had my earphones on, I'm listening to Heather McDonald, having a laugh, eating a pretzel, and he can't find the person that's supposed to pick us up for the hotel.

So he's looking around, he's searching, he has his hand on top of his head, like a voyager, like looking through, like, it's been like a good minute. He's starting to like really sweat. So finally he sees the guy that's supposed to take us to the hotel, and he screams like a squirrel being hit by a car across the entire train platform. People were staring at us. I did feel bad because I like, I was like, ah. No, no, no, it wasn't like that, though. It was more of those things where I was like, I discovered him and I didn't see him there. And like, I felt really bad because I kind of like called him how I would call one of our dogs.

And that wasn't what I was trying to do. I was just like, oh, there you are. No, you called him like you would call pixie. But he saw me. We made the connection. And then thank God, he was able to help me with those bags. because I was about to throw them right on the fucking tracks. No, you were fine.

We got in the car and he's trying to snapchat the car. And I'm like, just calm down. He needed a drink, maybe even a half of Xanax or something. I almost threw a video. So we got there. No problem. Easy. Kevin's crying, laughing because he's like, knows you're lying.

So, no, but it was pretty smooth sailing after that. A lot of people say don't, like, everybody they were with. I wouldn't call it smooth sailing after our, our time in Paris, but we'll get to that. Everybody, all of our friends in Sandra Pair were like, listen, you can't go to Paris right now. It's going to be so slow. It's going to be quiet. Everybody's on vacation. We love quiet.

And it was awesome because we usually don't go to Paris at that time. Anybody that has been to Paris, like knows how busy that place is. There's always people all over the place. And it was really nice because there was nobody there. I mean, you could walk around and feel like the city was like, you know, it was like ours. Yeah, I love that. We love retirement home vibes. And that's how Paris was.

So it was perfect. We met up with his sister, who is 19. No, I think she just turned 20. Oh, excuse me, 20. And she speaks three languages. Trilingual. Trilingual. She is adorable.

You know, it's crazy. We talked about her a little bit before. Like, I'm so proud of her because she in high school went abroad and studied in Spain. And not like a big town in Spain. She studied in Pompirada, which is in the north, I think, like 30,000 people. And so she came back in high school speaking fluent Spanish. Then her senior year of high school, she went to Paris, but outside of Paris. I can't remember exactly where.

And now she speaks fluent French. And now she's out there again for her college studying abroad in Paris and London. No, it's funny. It's like, nobody's paying for this. Like she finds ways to get funded from the school. That's why if you want to do something, you figure it out. Yeah. And I give her a lot of credit because everyone's like, oh, she's out there just running around.

Is she like getting paid for by somebody? I said, no, listen, she just figures it out. And I'm going to do a post on this on Lauren's app. on the exclusive section about how you can travel and how you should study abroad. It's like if I could think of one thing that I regret in my life, it's not doing that. I mean, they teach you so many life and practical skills. And not to mention she's a firecracker. She's like 90 pounds and tiny and cute and adorable and pretty and cool and nice.

And you're screwed, screwing. Don't look her up. No, she's adorable. I don't know how she's related to you, but anyways. I taught her everything she knows. Neither here nor there. So yeah, we had some drinks with her, more pretzels, more nuts. And then we went to this cute restaurant called Lay Society.

A lot of society. Yeah, but it's not like cute. It's like one of those trendy places. You liked it, but she liked it. I thought it was cute because it had melon and rchito. It's the same people that run and own cost us. Yes, it's cute. Trust me.

Go there if you're in Paris. We had a bottle of rosé, and Michael continued his theme. More rosé. More rosé. He loves rosé, you guys. He loves it. If you want to manipulate your guy into drinking anything, just tell them that guys with a man strength. A lot of people would disagree.

Either go whiskey or rosé. No, you don't. Or tequila. Lately you've gone rosé or water. Pretty boring. So yeah, we had some drinks there and then we went to Hotel Costas and then we went to the Ritz. And the Ritz is phenomenal. It's amazing.

I cannot even tell you how much I was loving it. Didn't Princess Die? go there? Yeah, but a lot of people went there. Yeah, no, but didn't she go there? Didn't she frequent there a lot? Yeah, I think that's honestly, like, on a depressing note, I think that's the last place she was before she passed.

Oh, I didn't know that. But also, Ernest Hemingway went there. They have the Hemingway bar and everything. But so everything was fine in Paris. Everyone relaxed, we're taking it easy. And then we get a call from Moose Knuckle. And he says that he has to stop in Paris on his way home. So, like, secretly, I was hoping that, like, that wouldn't happen.

And I was hoping he wouldn't make it. And I was like, God, Alex, if you're listening, I was hoping that something would happen and he wouldn't show up. Because I knew if he showed up that, like, shit was going to hit the fan. And of course it did. He showed up there immediately. He's at the bar. He's ordering champagne.

He's ordering vodka. He's saying we're going out. He's buying bottles of champagne. It was, it really escalated again. And so, like, my relaxing Paris trip turned into a shit show once again. Yeah, it was a real shit show. But I feel like that's a different story for a different podcast. That's too long.

We won't get into details on that. So I have a story about an earring, which we'll get to. But before I get into that, have you guys heard of Kopari? If you're like me, the shelf space in your bathroom is precious real estate. That is why I am so excited to introduce you to a line of beauty products that's as great as multitasking as you are, Kopari. These products moisturized skin and hair and they smell amazing. Like I'm obsessed. They're without sulfates, silicones, gMOs, and paravans.

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Head to toe. Head to toe. So, let's talk about the earring. The earring. The earring. No big deal on the earring, right? Here's the thing. Alex and Michael took me out late one night.

And then we woke up... This is all Moose Knuckles' fault. I told you. See, I feel like right when I told you that earlier when I was saying, hey, I wish he didn't show up, this is exactly why I wish he didn't show up. Even though I had a great time with him, it all came to fruition. So, yeah, let's blame it on Moose Knuckle. I feel like he owes this money.

You're still on the hook. Okay. After a night out, we come home. We go to bed, we wake up, and I'm getting ready, putting my foundation on, putting my mascara on. I'm peeping around the room to see how much damage I did. Sometimes when I wake up after drinking, I kind of touch Lauren to see if I'm in trouble or not. I do an eye peek. I don't know, you know, what's going to.

I hate that peripheral look. So I kind of like, usually what my move is, guys listening, they know this move, you kind of wake up and you act like everything was fine, like no big deal. And I said that's like my starting point. That's my gauge to figure out like, shit, did I do anything bad? bad last night. And based on that reaction, I can tell, like, did I do really good? Did I do really bad? Am I in between? So... Usually you get an A-plus. This time I got a C-minus. So I was getting ready. I grabbed my diamond earrings that Michael got me for Christmas last year. And I put on earring on the right. And then I went to put on earring on the left. And earring on the left fell on the

ground. No big deal, right? So I bend down. Wait, wait, wait, wait. But let's back up. How many times, it fell on the ground and where? Where? We were in the bathroom. Okay, so I've been saying for like a year and a half, I said, listen, don't put diamonds on or jewelry on in the bathroom by sinks or by the kitchen sink. Okay, yeah, that's noted. We got the point now. Oh, it's noted now. Yeah. Okay. Thank God now. Good thing now. So the earring bounces on the floor and I get on my hands and needs to find the earring. The earring isn't there. And you guys have to understand this bathroom that we were in was all white marble and the floor was white marble. So to not be able to see an earring on the floor was a little scary. So I look all over the bathroom in the shoe. I can't find it. I heard it drop. I heard it bounce.

So I'm looking for like five minutes. And then I start to sweat. And I say to Michael, I don't know where my earring is. I was like, okay, whatever. Go in there. I'll figure it out. So I'm all my hands and knees pathetically in the bathroom, hung over as hell. Thanks, again, moose knuckle, and sweating on the ground. And I was like, okay, well, it's obviously in this bathroom somewhere. And then I start to feel behind the walls. And I realize there's a gap between the walls and the floor. So I'm like, okay, hopefully it didn't go back there.

Then I start to feel by the bathtub, and I realize there's a gap underneath the bathtub. So I'm looking on my hands and knees for probably 30 minutes to the point where finally, I'm like, oh, shit, this thing fell somewhere. I called the hotel, and they literally bring up the engineers, They bring up the maids. They bring up the manager. These people had drills and vacuums. And they took, basically they took the whole bathroom part.

At one point, the sinks were all laid out on the ground. The walls were taking off. You guys have to understand this was three hours. There was engineers, everything. Like the whole staff was up there. And then to make matters worse, Lauren goes down to have a croissant and breakfast. Okay, let me explain that.

First of all, when stuff goes really wrong, I have to step outside of it and take a minute. So yeah, I went downstairs. I was so stressed out. And I had to have a chocolate croissant and peppermint tea to, like, regain my composure. I'm sorry. I had to step out of the situation so I could see it. And then I came upstairs.

Michael was in the corner on his computer typing away. You weren't really doing much. You weren't very useful. I was probably sending Alex an email about how pissed I was that I was in this situation. I blamed him. I still blame him. So, I blame both of you. Unfortunately, after three hours of looking and two hours of the maids coming in and turning over the

whole room. We did not find the earring. So that was kind of a damper. So during the wedding, you'll just be a one-eared pirate-looking, diamond-wearing girl, I guess. Hopefully for the wedding, hinty-henty, you'll get me another earring. Listen, this wedding is about to put me under. You're on your own. I really am not that gnarly. Let's talk about this. I'm pretty normal. No, no, no, no. So it'll be nice. You're going to have to get like, maybe you can wear like a different type of earring, but no, no, You're done, buddy. No, no, no, no, no, no. You guys, can you, everyone go comment on his Instagram that I need another earring?

So we're back. One earring. We're moving on from the earring because I don't want to think about it anymore because my heart starts to race and I get anxiety. You guys make sure you want his Instagram and tell him to get me another earring. Please, please, please. We're moving on. I'm just moving on. Okay.

Jet lag. We'll see about that. Took a little Snapchat break, which, you know, it's funny because we decided to just take a Snapchat break because we were doing it. And people got pissed off because, you know, we didn't Snapchat. No. People got pissed off that I didn't snap your psychoness in the airport. People like to see you have a full-blown meltdown in the airport. Did you notice how I was much more calm without the snapshot?

Maybe we're never going to snap me at the airport again. Nope. I will be snapping you every single time you're at the airport, so be prepared. People were mad that I didn't snap you. Yeah, well, what can I say? You got to give the people what they want. No, people wanted to see you have a meltdown. So we came back to San Diego.

Back San Diego, got in the office, did a quick turnaround. We saw the dogs. Saw the dogs and then trained it up to L.A. Now we're here back in the studio. Was not a fan of the train. I got car sick. I don't think we'll do that again. I think I'm going to make you drive.

Oh, I'm not driving that late. So anyway, me and Lauren wanted to do a new thing. We're testing out some new segments. And if you guys have any requests for types of segments, send in the requests on to Snapchat or to podcast at the Skinny Competential. Because we're working on the format here and figuring out like new ways to do things and more fun things to bring to the show. So this week what we're going to do is we're going to do the him and her tip of the week. Each of us are going to give a quick little tip that we think will bring some value and help in your life.

The tip's going to be different every week. So one week it'll be about wellness from me or beauty, fitness. And Michael's tips are going to be more like business and branding. So it'll be fun, kind of different, little contrast. Yeah. Or maybe just how to survive a relationship with a really high maintenance woman. You can go first with your tip. Give your little tip.

So my tip is super simple this week. As a lot of you know, I'm a big reader. I think it's helped me in every aspect of my life, not just business. So my tip this week is to read more. You have no idea how much reading can help you find success in your life. Not just business success, but life success. I recommend actually scheduling like 30 minutes a day into your calendar. He does this, you guys.

His Google calendar says read and drink coffee. I swear on my life. No, but it could be anything. You just need to read, and it needs to be seven days a week, just like you would schedule the gym. Like, if you have time to schedule time to go work out or get your body in shape, like you have time to schedule your mind. And I actually think it's much more important. You have no idea how much reading can help you. And then I think after you do that for a couple of weeks and you're getting into that 30 minute rhythm, bump it up to one hour and just see a huge difference in your life. Like watch your mind expand. You're going to start speaking better. You're going to start being more interesting in conversations. You're going to start comprehending more. Like it's just, it's just, it's It's just really, really important. So that's my tip of the week. And I will say that I've done Michael's tip and I've started reading every single day at night. And it's really, really helped me.

I don't even know really how. It's just, I wake up every morning and I have new ideas for the blog and it's inspiring and it's fun to learn about different people. So I'm going to give your tip a stamp of approval. My tip is more beauty. Let's get superficial here. So when you feel like you have a Zick coming on, which I do right now. so it's very fitting.

Or a crater. Or a person living on your face. Yeah. Or a country. I feel like I got that crater, by the way, from cigarettes. But we'll get to that. Use tea tree oil. So here's what I do when I have a huge crater.

I wash my face with a probiotic cleanser. I will leave the link on Twitter. It's my favorite. It's filled with probiotics for the face. And then I'll pat it dry. I know this sounds weird, but pat don't rub because that causes wrinkles. over time. And then I'll just put a little dab of tea tree oil on a Q-tip and put it on the Zit. And I'll just leave it there. If I have a lot of Zits or Blackheads like I do right now from France,

from cigarettes, I will do a little Jehovah oil with Tea Tree Oil mixed into it. So I just mix them together and rub it all over my face. And it's awesome as a mask. I sleep in it. Wake up, you're zip-free. Tea-tree oil is amazing because it kills bacteria, which spreads the pimples. So definitely look into that if you have Zits. And does anyone have any tips for cigarettes that hurt? Well, I think you should clarify, you weren't smoking cigarettes. You were just around cigarettes. No, no, no offense to anyone that does.

It's not my thing. I've never been into it. And I feel like every time I'm around it, my skin just goes downhill. It's still just really a prominent habit in Europe. Yeah, it's very, very prominent. It's everywhere. And I can't believe how polluted my skin looks right now. So anyways, those are our tips of the week.

I am going to go hide in the bathroom and get my anxiety under control after that earing story again because my heart's racing. So we will take a quick break and be right back. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Okay. So we're back. We're back. I had to calm myself down. It's curled up in a ball there for a minute thinking about the earrings. Please, please, please write on his Instagram about my earring.

So the second half, we really like to kind of get you guys involved and bring you value or what we hope is. value. And, you know, a couple weeks back, we were talking about mental toughness. And I did a post on Lauren's site about mental toughness and just mindset stuff and people really, like you guys really responded well. I really got some good comments and some good feedback. And I didn't know that that was going to take off so much and do so well. So I kind of wanted to, I was reading a book on the way back from Paris by Carol S. Dweck. And she wrote a book called Mindset, the new psychology of success. And I was kind of telling Lauren about it. I told you a little bit. bit about it, right? You told me a lot about it. It's very interesting. Tell them about the two different

types of mindset. So basically there's two, she argues that there's two different types of mindset. Carol, not me. Yeah, Carol. Carol. PhD, two different types of mindsets. The fixed mindset and the growth mindset. And there's basically, there's some really distinct differences between the two. A fixed mindset avoids challenges while a growth mindset embraces them. So an example of this would be In the book, she talks about students in Hong Kong. In the classes, the colleges are all English in Hong Kong, but a lot of the students speak Chinese. So the students who had good grades in the non-English speaking classes,

they did not want to take the English-speaking classes. Do you know why? Why, honey? Because they were scared that they would look bad. So someone with the fixed mindset who says, like, they've been judging themselves on success all these years, all of a sudden, like, if they can't do something, they look at that as a failure.

Where the growth mindset students were like, they looked at it as like, oh, wow, what a great challenge. Like, I want to do this and I want to learn. and expand their horizons. So the better of the two is growth, correct? It's not like... It's not better. It's not better.

It's just, I want to just point these out so people can, like, think about it. Okay, let me ask you this. Which one would you prefer to have? So I'll keep going. Like, a fixed mindset gets frustrated and gives up easily because they don't like failures. I don't want to say, like, which one would I rather have? I want to just point it out to you so you can... It sounds like I would rather have growth.

Yeah, so a growth mindset would persist in the face of sex. So like they look at failures as learning experiences where I think that's great. I mean, I don't look at anything and regret anything I've done because it's led me to where I am today. So if you look at it like that, a failure is not a failure. Yeah. No, they look at it as a learning experience and they call it like learners versus non-learners. So somebody that's a fixed mindset looks at it as like if they fail, they don't want to take

that chance in their life because it's like a indicator of how they are in life. And so a growth mindset will look at this like, oh, this is an opportunity for me to learn and get better. So like an example is like, remember when you're in school and if you would raise your hand in class and like ask a question if you didn't understand something, somebody with a fixed mindset, a lot of the time is scared to raise their hand because they're scared of looking stupid or dumb, which they wouldn't be. With a growth mindset student, they raise their hand as like, oh, I don't know this and I want to learn. So they put themselves out there regardless of the outcome. Yeah. And it's, it's interesting because I'm just talking about this because I want people to start. thinking about like which tendencies or which mindsets do they have in their life. You know what I mean?

And it's good to know kind of, I think one of the most important things is self-awareness. And if you have self-awareness, you can kind of figure out very easily which mindset you are, correct? Yes. But like, so another example is like a fixed mindset would say like you have natural ability. Like I don't need to practice. I don't need to study. Like I have a fixed skill set and I can do this. If anyone wants to know about practice, go listen to our first podcast. Yeah, exactly. Our first podcast was atrocious. We had to practice.

This is a practiced skill, even though it's just talking. I think anyone that doesn't think podcasting or blogging or being creative or being an artist isn't practiced, that's BS. I mean, we went to the museums and saw all these amazing artists like Van Gogh. I don't think Van Gogh did one painting and said, I'm famous. He actually didn't get famous until he was after he was dead. Yeah. So, I mean, that's a perfect example of. someone that persists and keeps going and wants to learn and grow.

Yeah. So she would argue, Carol, the author would argue that a growth mindset believes that with effort you can advance on any path. And that's kind of how I thought too. I mean, when we first started podcasting, we had no clue what we were doing. No fucking idea. Like literally no idea. And now I feel like we've learned.

Yeah. Well, that gets me to my next thing. But we're still learning. A fixed mindset, and I keep going back to fixed, takes criticism personally. And they take it as an attack on their personality and as attack on their ability. where a growth mindset takes criticism as an opportunity to learn. So, you know, what we've talked about in the podcast before we got some good feedback, but a lot of the time it was negative feedback in the beginning.

And what we did is we try to take that feedback and say, okay, like, this is an opportunity or an area where we need to improve. Love it. Look at you. Yep. Mr. Ph.D. So use this information. Think about which mindset is your norm.

It's actually possible to be both at different times. More than likely you lean towards one or the other, though. I'm not saying one is better or one is worth. It's just something to think about. But in my opinion, you're limiting yourself a little bit if you stay in the fixed mindset as opposed to the growth mindset. And Michael will do a post on the Skinny Confidential App exclusive section about this book and he'll show you where to purchase it and more about it and he'll get real in depth

about it there. Yep. So in a nutshell, fixed mindset is, you know, it creates non-learners and it can hinder you. And a growth mindset can create people who are constantly learning. and looking at failure as opportunities to learn and taking criticism with a grain of salt and understanding there's areas to improve. So just make sure you're in the right mindset. And that's it.

All right. Let's get into the questions. On Snapchat, bagels and band-aids asks, do you have any tips for motivating your partner to work out? I recently began going to the gym regularly. And I have tried to tell my boyfriend how amazing it makes me feel afterwards, but he just is not motivated. Help.

Okay. Well, this is going to be controversial. What else is new with you? I was going to say I was going to apologize, but I'm not going to apologize. You know, like, when you get in relationship with somebody, like, when we got in relationship, you expect that person to, like, take care of themselves, right? Like, you're out there, you're advertising, hey, this is me, this is what I'm like. And like, okay, you can't just let it all go.

Like, you just can't. It's not fair. Okay, but what if you get into a relationship with a partner and they kind of have already let themselves go? Do you expect them to get it together? What do you mean? Like, if I start with somebody that's not? Like, what if you were a slob when I first started dating you?

Well, I would do... I guess that's not really... The question is, though... Just what if, though, like, what would you do? I guess if you're applying that to me, like, I would not let myself become a slob. That comes down to discipline. There's been a couple times. No, I think it's complete BS when people and couples get in a relationship and they just let themselves go.

Like, what? Like, the rest of the world doesn't have to see you anymore? I think that it's circumstantial. I think if someone has like a disease or they're sick or... Okay, but we're not talking about disease or sickness. But that's a reason. Yes, that's a reason. And those are extreme circumstances.

We're talking about just normal people that want to just take it easy and let themselves go. No, you can't take it easy. You've got to keep your partner on your toes. And I think a big part of that actually, and this might be controversial, is the woman leading. The woman is the leader in the relationship, I think. The woman sets the tone. They do. Sorry.

Wait, let me give an example here. have a growth mindset. Oh my God. I love using him as his shit against him. So here's the thing. I started really working out really hard, like taking it up 20 notches, and I started just eating like the best I could and cut out alcohol. And you were not going to the gym and you, I mean, you go once a week.

No, but then I turned it up. Okay, so you were in a growth mindset then. However, I had to stop using the mindset. I had to kind of back you. into a corner where you kind of had no choice. Like I basically booked a trainer. First before I began, because I don't want to hear the comments and the reviews about, oh, well, there's circumstances of the person's sick or this person has this disease or this.

I'm not talking about any of those. I'm talking about normal people that are doing normal things that get a relationship and say, fuck it, I'm going to become a slob, eat what I want, drink what I want, not work out, get fat. That's unacceptable. Get lazy. You got to take care of yourself. When you're in a relationship, you can't be constantly caring for your partner.

You have to be taking care of yourself and you have to be keeping it on track. This goes for men and women. Okay. If you decide, I'm telling you this, Lauren, if you decide to let yourself go, I'm going to have to call you out. I'm going to have to be like, yo. I would not expect anything less from you, Michael Lossick. I'm going to say, this is not what I signed up for. It's not always about personality.

Like there's a, you know, I'm shopping down the aisle. I see what I like on the shelf and that's what I want. I don't want all of a sudden to get home and that to turn into like, you know, a rotten fruit. So you don't want to go buy macaroni and then get like... I don't think it's fair. I don't think it's fair. I have a buddy, and I'm not going to say who. He started dating a girl.

And she was beautiful. She still is beautiful. But she has put on like 40 pounds. And he's talking about it. He's like, listen, we're not having sex. I'm not so attracted anymore. Like, what do I do? And I was like, listen, man, like, she's got to get that shit under control.

Because there's no excuse she's making excuses that she can't do this. She can't do that. It's BS. I think that you need to get that under control. control, like he's there. Like, there's a level that you need to stay up. Like, and this goes for guys, too. Like, a girl's with you. Yeah, let me talk about a guy for a minute. You can't, guys, you can't let yourself go. Like, you can't all of a sudden be hanging there with your gut hanging over your balls and just being like, hey girls, like, still be into this. Like, that's

bullshit. You've had a couple fupa moments. I have. And I had to knock him out of control. Okay. Listen, Lauren and I got engaged. And after we got engaged, we just, we just, we let it go for like three weeks, you guys. It was, it was, it was, it was like three months. Yeah, it was We ran into a couple down in Mexico and they're like, what the hell happened to you guys? We were like, shit. Well, we got engaged. This was like three years ago. And we just celebrated and we were drinking and we were eating and we were, you know, we're happy.

And we gained a couple of LBs. Yeah. This is not to say that everyone needs to be like a perfect 10. It's just you can't all of a sudden come out of nowhere and just blow the fuck up. Well, Michael, you've had a couple moments where I've had to say it's time to get to the gym and you could get to some sun for a minute and you know it's time to brush your eyebrows up and maybe think about you know getting some Botox. I'm not doing the Botox. I'm working on it. I think that that you need to be able to check yourself in a relationship and I think that shows discipline on your own to not have to

worry about your partner, have your partner worry about you. Living healthy is in my opinion contagious. So when I'm living healthy and I'm doing my best, I notice Michael who really steps up to the plate and he kind of takes on that energy and vice versa and vice versa and like i said as a woman i think you really set the tone in the relationship so um start leading by example i wrote a chapter about this in the skinny confidential book which is available on amazon and barns and noble little plug and i wrote a whole chapter on love chub and basically the chapter is about how when you get into a relationship chip people get comfortable. And when you get comfortable, sometimes you're not your best self.

So how you kind of get your partner out of that is by leading by example. If they want to wake up at noon, wake up at seven. Get to the gym. Start showing them how important it is to work out and walk and do yoga and drink water and bring healthy foods in the house and just immerse them in that. Yeah. You know, Lauren, when she started getting back in shape, she was eating really, really healthy, she was bringing healthy foods in the house.

And like, I looked at that and was like, okay, shit, I got to stay. my game up too. So I think, like she said, you've got to lead by example. I think it's important. And, you know, honestly, no BS. If after a while the person doesn't get the memo and doesn't start taking care of themselves, doesn't get in shape, like, that needs to be a serious conversation. Here's the thing that I think. If that person is going to let themselves go, which everyone's self is highly important and a priority, what else are they going to let go? You have to make yourself and your health and your wellness number one. And if you're just letting that go and you don't care more, that's concerning. There's other areas of your life that that's going to come, kind of seep through

into. So I think the more that you can focus on keeping your health and wellness just really great, I think the better off you are in other areas. No, and I know this is going to be a super controversial question. There's probably people listening. They're going to be pissed. But it's just, it's not fair to the other person. It's not fair to yourself to just say, you know what, just because I'm in a relationship, I'm allowed to just let it go. Like that's just, it's not fair. And you've got to hold yourself and your partner to a higher standard. And I just think it's really important.

So my views on it, there's like when that starts to happen and people start to let themselves go, like they need to be called out. And I know it's hard. Some people, I was talking to my friend, he's like, well, how do I go about telling this person that I feel this way? Because he's telling me, it's like, listen, we're not doing this. We're not doing this. We're not doing this service by not saying, hey, step it up.

No, it's not fair. because what ends up happening is these guys or these girls don't tell their partner that they're not stepping it up and they end up cheating or doing something fucked up. So keep your partner accountable. Call them out. I mean, Michael and I are very honest with each other. I feel like almost too honest. Listen, when my guts hanging over my pants, like she calls it out. Yeah, you know, when you need a little bit of a tan, I call you out. I think, and not in a mean way. It's in a loving way. Speaking of eating healthy and keeping your wellness on track, let's talk about one of my favorite, favorite companies, Blue Apron.

So Blue Apron's mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone. Michael and I use it all the time. It achieves this by supporting a more sustainable food system, setting the highest standards for ingredients, and building a community of home chefs. Blue Apron has established partnerships with over 150 local farms, fisheries, and ranchers across the United States. As a result, the beef is raised humanely. Chickens are free range. Pork is raised naturally.

Farming practices are used for produce. Blue Apron can be delivered to 99% of the continental U.S. Because Blue Apron ships the exact amount of each ingredients required for a recipe, they are reducing food waste, which is awesome. Some of the meals that are available in August are spiced pork burgers with goat cheese and cucumber corn salad. Yum. It sounds amazing. Amazing.

Summer vegetable and quinoa bowl with fairy tail eggplants, shishito peppers, and corn. Oh my God, I want that. And chicken tinga tacos with summer squash and tomato salsa. Not all ingredients are created equal. Fresh, high quality ingredients taste better and are better for you. So it's important to know where your food is coming from. So for less than $10 per meal, which is a really good deal, Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-peas.

portioned ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals. Blue Apron knows that when you cook with incredible ingredients, you make incredible meals. And I've actually cooked many incredible meals with Blue Apron for Lorne. She is amazed. So they set the highest quality standards for their community of artisanal suppliers, family-run farms, fisheries, and ranchers. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blue apron.com slash him and her. You will love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible homecook meals with Blue Apron. So don't wait. That's blue apron.com slash him and her. Blue Apron, a better way to cook. And let me tell you, it is a better way to cook because Michael Bostic cooks, quote unquote, for me all the time. And he went

around telling everyone that he's a cook. So are you going to finally cook for me? No, I'll cook with Blue Apron. It's so easy. It's pre-portioned. You don't have to worry about it. One reason it's good as the other. Yeah. Well, you should be at ordering me a bunch of Blue Apron. I want those shoshito peppers and a little goat cheese with a cucumber corn salad. So next question. On Snapchat, Caitlin Redding asked, how has the influencer culture changed in the last five years? What's shifted? What's stayed the same?

Where do you see the industry in the next five years? Ooh, great question. It's changed a lot since you started. Yeah, it's changed a lot. You started about five years ago now. I started about six years ago. Yeah. So you've seen it change.

We've seen to change multiple times. And I feel like I was in it before the six years because I was studying it for a year and a half before I launched the Skinny Confidentials. So I definitely feel like I can kind of talk about this. It's definitely evolved. And the thing about social media, as everyone knows, it's evolved quickly and swiftly. And you have to evolve with it and you have to evolve quickly and swiftly. So I think that in the last five years, it's gone from, you know, well, first of all, I think

the quality has gone way up. I mean, if you look at a blog post from six years ago on my blog or anyone else's blog, the quality has completely and drastically changed. Well, I think that's because the competition has increased. And like the industry has, I don't want to say saturated, but the industry has become more competitive. More competitive. So it raises everybody's content. Because if you can't keep up, you just fall behind. And I'd say another thing that's like the biggest change that I've seen is people actually take this very seriously as a business. I mean, when you first started, we've talked about this before. People would say, why the hell are you, taking that picture. What are you doing during that Instagram? And it was like looked at it as kind of

like a joke. How are you going to make money? How are you going to do this? And I'd say now people like, like, I think there was just, you showed me an article the other day that like this, like, people are really, really taking this seriously as a business. Yeah, I think six years ago, no one took this seriously. I remember saying while I was bartending that I was a blogger and people would look at me like I was an alien with 20 heads. I think now when you say you're an influencer or a blogger, it's definitely taken more seriously. When I first started out, the possibility of doing a book or doing a product line or doing a podcast wasn't really in a lot of people's fixed way of thinking. And now all these things are coming true for influencers.

You see people with clothing lines. I know a blogger that we won't name that has, how much did she do in revenue on her clothing line? Oh, a shitload. Yeah. I think $7, $8 million. Yeah. So these influencers are really, really rocking it.

And the reason is is consumer attention. So what's happened in the last six years as I noticed that I used to read us weekly. every single week six years ago. I used to pick it up. I used to devoured. I used to love it. I don't read us weekly anymore. And that's because the consumer attention has shifted to influencers and they kind of are the new trendsetters. So if an influencer recommends a foundation, I'm more likely to buy that than if January Jones recommends a foundation because January Jones feels untouchable. It doesn't feel like she's actually using that. Is she getting paid to use it? An influencer is kind of an everyday girl that's that's found things that work for them. It's more attainable. It's more reachable.

Well, I would say an influencer is anybody that actually has influence over a demographic of people. So, like, I would argue that the Kardashians are influencers. You can say like everyday people. I don't know if you want to like say they're not everyday people, but, you know, it's undeniable that Kylie Jenner is a trendsetter, that Kim Kardashian is a trendsetter. That's something that's got influence. I don't want to, you know, you think of like a Jennifer Anderson, obviously she's like a celebrity, a traditional movie celebrity. I don't think she has, the kind of influence that a Kardashian has. No, and the Kardashians are 100% influencers.

I think what's started to happen is people are just really taking influencers seriously now and we're making a business out of what we talk about. But in the same way, we're bringing our community and our readers along for the rides so they don't feel like they're being pushed out. I know that I have constantly tried to grow with the community of the Skinny Confidential. I've never made them feel like I'm better than, or I try not to make them feel like I'm better than I just, I'm growing with them, I'm changing, and they're watching me change. Maybe my opinion from six years ago about juice cleansing isn't the same as now.

And I think you grow with your audience and you change and you show them your life and a peek inside of it. And it feels real as opposed to a celebrity that you're like, you just feel like it's too forced. It feels fake. I completely agree. And in terms of like what's shifted and what stayed the same, I think like Lawrence said, the only thing that's shifted is consumer attention.

People have decided, hey, we are going to start paying attention to what. what a lot of these influencers are doing, what they're writing about, whether they're podcasting, are they on Instagram, are they on Snapchat? Are they creating content on a blog? Are they writing? People have now chosen to take that content seriously wherever it's being produced.

And in terms of what stayed the same is, influencers, you guys are still creating quality content, and they have been creating quality content for six or seven years. It's just people have finally decided to take it seriously and start paying attention. And I think it's interesting because brands have just started taking influencer seriously

in the last three years, and they've started really taking a big part of their budget on campaigns and putting it towards influencers. So that's definitely shifted as well. I think that the brands have started to realize that we are converting. And I think in a way we're- Because in terms of convert, like they still have not put a huge budget towards you guys. Like it's still such a small portion of their budget. Yeah, it'll grow.

It'll get bigger. But that's okay. I mean, you can't be greedy. You have to be patient. You just, you work with the industry that you're in. I think that influencers are starting to become like billboards on the internet. So, you know, when people ask how influencers make money, you can say it's essentially like you're a billboard or a magazine.

They're starting to take influencers as seriously as they're taking beauty editors, like an editor at a lore or an editor at Cosmo. Now what's happening is like the influencer market's kind of coming in and pushing those people out because you never know who's getting paid and who's not. Again, I'm going to say if I get paid for something, it has to be something. that I actually use. Can the magazine say that? I don't know. So that's what's kind of changed. No, and you know, what I was saying was crazy is that these people, a lot of these, like the guys that work at the big ad agencies, they're still sticking with like television ads and things that just

don't convert on metrics that don't perform. And I've said it so many times, like you'll have this big agency, a guy of an executive that's been there for 40 years that doesn't want to disrupt the stock price, doesn't want to disrupt the bottom line and says, let's keep throwing money at TV at a medium that we know is not going to convert. So where I see this industry in the next five years, I see it being taken much more seriously. I see people and brands starting to use this a lot more as an advertising medium just because consumer attention is here and there is brand trust and awareness. So that's where I see it. I only see it getting bigger until something else shifts. And like once again, I've said it multiple times, like don't get romantic about your business. Don't get romantic about what you're doing.

as things change, as industries change, evolve and adapt. I mean, don't be one of these guys that get stuck advertising on TV for the next 20 years and sinks their business into the floor. Podcasting is a great example of how it's changed. People are starting to listen to podcasts all the time. It's, I believe podcasting is right now where blogging was five years ago. And that's going to evolve and change. And brands are going to have to hop on board to that. So I think that the more you can just really be ready to evolve and change with the industry, the better off you are. Just keep your out, create quality content, keep it consistent, and make sure you're paying attention. Yep. And with that, we're getting ready to end the show. We have to go, like we said earlier,

we have to go get in shape. We've got to get some workouts going. And specifically you with that Fupa? Get in the gym. Speaking of the gym, you guys know that I have a fitness and meal plan ebook. I am going to be using that a lot in the next two weeks after eating way too much bread, cheese and wine. So if you want to check that out, Crapes and Chocolate Crescents. Nutella Crapes specifically. If you want to check that out, go to members. dot the skinny confidential.com and use

code him and her at checkout. That's him and her for 20% discount to all podcast listeners. You can find my full-blown meal plan. I literally wrote down everything I ate for two weeks. I put it in this meal plan. And then the fitness guide is just my workouts. They're super easy. You can do it while you're watching Real Housewives

on the floor of your carpet, whatever. No equipment included. It's 27-minute workouts. You'll be dripping in sweat. I also mixed in some intervals. And there's a community of women on there connecting on the platform. And you can kind of just talk and exchange health and wellness ideas and share your experience. So again, go to members.

Dot the skinnyconfidential.com and use checkout code him and her for 20% off. And with that, thank you guys for listening. We'll be back next week with another show. Maybe bring Jordan or the bare naked cucumber. If he's lucky. If he's lucky, he thinks he's famous now. If you like the show, please submit a review on iTunes. Remember to send in your questions to Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag Ask Him and Her.

Send us questions to our snaps, Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic, the shameless plug. Or email us at podcast at the skinny confidential.com. Ask us anything, get weird. Tell your friends about our podcast, and we'll see you next week. Thanks for listening to The Skinny Confidential, Him and Her, with Lauren Evers and Michael Bostick. Download new episodes every day. Tuesday at podcast one.com or subscribe now on the podcast one app.