The Bossticks - #33: Adderall and Compliments with Annabelle DeSisto

Episode Date: October 18, 2016

Host of the Podcast "Adderall and Compliments" Annabelle DeSisto & Taylor O' Conner aka "The Bare Naked Cucumber," join Lauryn & Michael to discuss going from writing Facebook statutes to writing for Joan Rivers on "Fashion Police," Annabell's mortifying encounter with Jason Segel, Michael's bachelor party in Canada, getting a lazy eye from drinking, the benefits of carrying around 'magical crystals charged by the moon,' how Annabelle got into stand-up comedy, Annabell's love for TV & her couch, and how Annabell's podcast "Adderall and Compliments" came about. You don't want to miss the hysterical banter that ensues! To Listen to Adderall and Compliments click HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

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If you guys want 20% off, use the code box buzz. That's B-O-X-B-U-ZZ. Once again, check out beautycon.com slash box to sign up for your subscription. If you guys want 20% off, just use the code box buzz. That's B-O-X, B-U-Z-Z. All right, let's get this show started. The following program is a podcast.1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cooking. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

Hey guys, welcome back. It's Lauren Everett's, creator of the Skinny Confidential. I have my fiancé over here. His hair is looking on fleek. Number one. Number one. You love to be number one. You don't want to first or last.

We got to do something about those cursive lines on your forehead before the wedding. Go off the Grand Canyon. You don't say. We also have a super exciting guest here. I'm going to let her introduce herself. She's right next to me. Hi, I'm Annabelle. And we have Taylor.

Hi, I'm Taylor, the bare naked cucumber. And Taylor brought his whole entire house in with him today. We're going to Montreal for the Bachelor Party of the Century. Yeah, they're going on a Bachelor party. My Bachelor party. I hired two years. To Canada? Montreal.

Are you Canadian? No. Why? Are you going for free healthcare? What are you doing there? I'm not quite sure why we're going. My best friend set it up. Don't point to me.

I didn't set this up. I hear we're going for the smoked meats. No, we're going for the French fries. gravy. Okay. Well, my PIs are going to report back. I have like different ones. Then I have a mole in the group. I have a lot going on. He doesn't know. You have like different Mounties stations. Like, are you guys going to ride Sanbonis? Like, what are you doing there? That, okay, so it's sausages. We're just going for a good old time. Probably have a couple burgers. I want to go over the falls and the little barrel. That's, that's not there. That's in Niagara Falls. Oh, well, oh, well.

So you packed wrong. Whoops. Why do you have a garment bag? Who carries a garment bag? It's 2016. I mean, I've got my suits in there. for when I want to get dressed up. If you wear a suit to my bachelor party, you're not coming to the bachelor party. I just can't get outdressed. That's all that matters. So Taylor has told Annabal that he's single

about 600 times so far, and you just sat down. No, she said, hey, I'm going to introduce you to some friends of mine, and I'm sitting right across from her going, excuse me, I'm the only friend that really matters at this point. And then I just heard you have a garment bag, and I was like, ooh. No, it's not a garment bag. She just likes to over-exaggerate and describe things in weird ways. It's just normal luggage.

I think it was actually hers at one point. You have a three-piece suit there for a bachelor party where nobody's wearing anything a three-piece. No, it's not a three-piece. It's two. Oh, okay. You have a pocket watch. Why don't you just tell?

Oh, my God, you're like Steve Harvey. Annabelle's from Adderall and Compliments, which is a podcast. I love it. It's hilarious. You guys have to listen to it. Super girly. All the listeners will love her podcast. So tell us about the podcast.

The podcast is unapologetically, like, superficial, just like me. And we talk about pop culture because I literally watch minimum 13 hours of TV a day. Are you really serious? Oh, yeah. There is nothing more I love than TV in my couch. That's amazing. People are like, why are you single? Not like people are like, oh, you're so great.

Why are you single? But I don't date. I'm like, because magically I don't meet that many men in my apartment, which is like the only place I am. So Taylor knows where to camp out with his luggage and his garment bag. And binoculars. Oh, Taylor. I was joking. That actually came off as super creepy.

Let's edit that one out. No. Nope, that's staying in. No, I would love to have a stalker. Oh, Taylor. I know. I like what you did with the place. I like the way you rearranged her furniture.

Thank you. Wait, what did you tell her her a compliment was before you got on the show? No, I didn't give her a compliment. She said, Adderall in compliments. I said, I'll pay you some compliments. Oh, no, no. I said she looks like, what's that girl? Adriana.

Oh, yeah. What's the most beautiful woman in the world? He just told you. No, because she's got those features. is, I'm holding up the phone right next to her, and I can see a direct correlation between the two. You're a little shaky. I'm like, I just need this part recorded. I'm like, I can leave now.

Like, it's not going to get better for me than that. That's pretty. That's a, like, and I'm just going to play it over and over again. She definitely has a unique look. So anybody who's listening, go to Instagram or the internet and search, not Adrian Aleema, but Annabelle, what was the last name just so they can? DeCisto. DeCisto.

Can you stop writing that down under the table? No, it's okay. It's already. My parents will Venmo you whatever you want. Like, this is incredible. See, perfect. We got the confidence out of the way. Taylor's on Bumble.

Are you on any dating apps? I just signed up for, okay, I've signed up for Bumble literally four times, and I have not even made it 24 hours until I delete it. Why? And I even paid, I guess you can pay for like an upgraded account, which I paid $9. I paid almost $10.99. You're a business person, so you would understand this. The $9.99 is actually a trigger point.

If they put 10 and it's, Everyone knows that my call. It's actually, you know, discerting, but 9-90. I'm actually a fan of the 95. Okay. I heard that because I was going to sell, like, Crystal. My mom's like, you have to put it. I got to hear about your crystals.

I can't wait to hear about that. You have to put it under $20. She's like, Donnie Deutsch talked about, one of my crush is Donnie Deutsch. But she was talking about it. She's like, you have to do like $9.99. It's a big thing. So, yeah, I pay $9.99 to have an, like, upgraded Bumble account, which I'm like, it's free. I don't know even what that does for you, and I still deleted it.

Are you on upgraded or are you on free? Taylor? I think I'm free. $9.99 are you out of your mind? Are you still looking at Adriana Lima? No, it's just sitting there. I closed it. So if you guys are on Bumble,

make sure you get the upgraded app because you don't want to be playing and what Taylor's doing. No, I can't lie. I have the upgraded one. 999. Wait, you just lied? Yeah, that's amazing.

And what it is, it's supposedly the upgraded version and what it does is it puts people in a queue that has interest in you, but they're all garbage anyway, so it doesn't matter. Okay, so you think everyone on Bumble's garbage and you just lied about paying $9.9.

Well, somebody snapped me his Bumble profile the other day, which was, it made my night. I was sitting there. I was kind of had a hard day. And they snapped me. Why do you have a collage of four photos of yourself for your profile picture? That's my Instagram picture. No, it's your Bumble picture. Now somebody snapped me the profile.

It's across all social platforms. And now she's really turned off. What is your, what freaks me out is every bio is terrible. Like every bio in there is so awful. Oh, I agree that. Because the same thing with girls are horrible. Well, every guy has, because I looked at it, it was like every guy has his, hobbies are adventures.

I was going to say, do you go on adventures, like to be outgoing? What else would be there? And music. And it's like, adventures. Do you see his profile? No. I'm just like, I'm sure I'm,

because anytime I see those things, which that's what every guy, right, I'm like, adventures, like, you're not Lewis and Clark, you're not rediscovering America. You're not going on adventures. Taylor said co-hosts of the skinny confidential podcast. No, but all the girls are the same.

Outgoing. He started out as a sound engineer and somehow he's made his way on here. But then when we discovered that he was a co-host, none of us knew except, you know, we found out by Bumble. He's self-appointed. What they don't know won't hurt them. Okay. So, yeah, he's a co-host. He's on Bumble. So, okay, I want to hear about your podcast. Like, I love your branding. I think your name is hysterical. Thank you. How did that, like, happen? I was reading, you started as a writer for the late great Joan Rivers. Yes. And you were writing for her show or for? Yes, for fashion police. So I wrote for it the last year

she was with us. And is she amazing? She was the best boss. I'm like, I don't want to get another job and I haven't because I'm like, how am I going to get a better boss than Joan Rivers? Like, is she amazing in person? She was the kindest woman I've ever met, not just out of celebrities, just in general. I was like, you don't even have to be nice. Like, you're an icon and I don't like, you, like, you, like, I'm barely nice and I'm no one. Like, but she would always give you candy. She was just like, she was just like a grandmother. She's like, you might get hungry later. And she gave you, like, good candy. Not like fat secretary, like Jolly Rancher. Not like the strawberries one.

You know that the grandma's always helped those strawberries. Oh, my God. Those are terrible. That you're like, where do they get those things? Where'd even buy them? Exactly. They're in their handkerchief. Wait, so I want to know more about Joan.

Was she like as funny as she was on TV or when she kind of off, maybe when she was off TV? She was amazing. And you got to send your jokes over email. So like I got to do my job without any pants on watching TV. So how do you get a gig like that? Like, were you always into? comedy, I was into writing. How does that come about? I was always in a comedy. I was always, whenever any comedians would come to Florida, I would always go see them. And I actually saw

Joan Rivers with my mom like the year before. And I never in a million years that I would be writing for her because I'd never written anything besides like Facebook statuses when I had gotten the job. So this is just like fell into being a comedian kind of. Yeah, I got into stand up originally because I moved here and I didn't know anyone and I didn't have a job or roommate. And I was so worried about how I was going to meet girls, like, how I was going to make friends? Because I was like, how am I going to make girlfriends? It's so hard in LA. Like, I can't go to a bar and, like, see a group of girls and be like, you look like cool girls. And you don't drink. We should hang out sometime. Yeah, exactly. I'm just going to look like a sober lesbian who's just like, let's hang out.

And they're like, nobody. Like, no, you loser. Wait, can you tell me why you don't drink? Because this intrigues me. Like, I need to know every detail. I wish I could drink. I have tried. And when you tell people you don't drink, they automatically assume, like, it's a problem. There's some issue. Yeah, or they check your ankle because they assume there's going to be like a bracelet on it or it's court ordered or something. Whenever I try to drink, I get the worst lazy eye in the world. That is amazing. So embarrassing because I'm like, I spent like three hours getting ready.

Like one goes one way. Oh, yeah. It looks like it's trying to like roll out of my head like a marble. It's just like looking at the moon. It's like going everywhere. Have you ever thought about putting an eye patch on like a pirate before you go out? Well, no, because it's going to rub foundation on the eye. patch and it's going to be a very distinctive line. She doesn't want to ruin her eyebrows either. Like,

no one wants to do an eye patch. Wait, I need to know like when you discovered that you had the lazy eye. Is this after like one drink? Yeah. Like you need to. This is after like, like one drink. This is after one drink and it will start, you know, flying around like, you know, like the snitch and Harry Potter, it just goes crazy. And I realized this after I saw many pictures of me being out and was like, oh, maybe it's just one. You know, everybody can take one bad picture. And I was like, oh, another one. Have you ever been on a date? and be across from a guy and go, okay, cool, I'm going to have a drink, and take one sip, and then the eye go, and the guy go,

I think I'll be right back. And then him, like, jumped off the window. Just him not coming? Yeah. Back, and I hear the tire screeching. Is that lazy eye that big of a deal breaker? I mean, I don't think it's a deal breaker. You know, there was a girl in high school that we went to high school with,

and she had a lazy eye, and I can never tell where she was looking, so that kind of freaked me out. I don't think there's anything wrong. Did you just assume? You're like, she's probably looking at me. No, I think she, I don't know where she was. I mean, is that weird? Do you see split vision? You are losing girls in the audience by the second once again.

No, I'm just trying to understand. They have a huge lazy eye demographic for the skinny confidential, and you're insulting. Rude. So I want to go back a little bit just because I'm intrigued. For people listening that want to get into comedy, writing, how do you go about that process? I mean, I know we're joking around and you're saying that, you know, you watch TV for 13 hours a day, but I know there's also a lot of work that goes into producing a podcast, writing, getting a job like that. So how did you actually get your foot in the door and start the process of pursuing that career?

I actually saw a tweet by Heather McDonald's, who I followed from Chelsea lately. And she had posted about an all-female comedy class. And so I got into that because I was like, that's a non-creepy way to meet friends. So I was just going in there to learn how to write comedy, but actually just to make friends. And I wasn't going to do the comedy show at the end. And then I did. And I was like, oh, I can do this. I'm like, I'm not nearly as bad as everybody else doing this at open mics.

So I'm like, are people bad? They're really bad. And it's mostly the men who have the most confidence. They have like the confidence of like a black large drag queen. And they have terrible material. Like, they'll go up there with no material. And they're like, I went to McDonald's day. I don't know if there's anything in that.

And girls will go in. And they have much better material, but they don't have the confidence. And Heather McDonald was at. this comedy place that you went to. Yeah, she came to our final show, but she just, like, promoted the class. So I took the class and I ended up really liking it. And so then I started doing stand-up more because in L.A. It's really hard to get, like, auditions. Oh, my gosh. It's so hard. And so anybody can do stand-up. Like, anybody. Like, anybody is allowed to go on stage. And how does the podcast come from the stand-up class? The podcast I just started a couple

months ago. And I, after writing for Joan Rivers, I kind of like had a writer, like writers block. And I would do some, like some jobs, like freelance. But I started the blog just as like kind of a writing exercise to get me to do something every day. And I didn't think anybody would actually read it. So when people did, I was shocked. And so from my blog, that's when I started going on Stasi's podcast from Vanderpump Rules. And people asked for me to do my own podcast. Like my mom had been asking for a very long time, but she was the only one. And I was like, I could just have a conversation with you on the phone. That's the same thing as a podcast.

So I mostly did it for her because she literally got the equipment. And she's like, we're doing a podcast. So she's like my guest on the first three episodes. That's amazing. She's like, we're doing it. So my mom made me do a podcast. That's cool, though. I love that story.

Because like I was too scared. I don't know how you guys do it. I was so terrified at the beginning. It is scary. I mean, he like is very intense. he makes you like launch fast and put yourself out there. And you're, you,

it's kind of the same thing that she did. I mean, if you think about it, like you go out, you found this class, then you started doing stand up. Like, I think that's much more intimidating than getting behind a mic, right?

Like, you must have been nervous at first. Yeah, a live mic too. Oh yeah. I was for my first show on my way there, I was like, oh my God,

I hope I just get into a car accident. Not a serious car accident where anybody gets hurt, but like a fender bender that would like prevent me. An excuse. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, where's changing you insurance and please.

So I was literally praying for that. And when I got there, I was like, oh, no. You do learn the more that you're in front of people and you're on the mic. It's kind of practice. Michael, I feel like when I first put you in front of the camera, because I got the worst jaw surgery in the world. Like, I'll show you pictures. It was horrendous.

I looked like swath in the guineas for two years. So I had to like turn the camera on him. It was concerning. It was concerning. Like a jaw implant? No, no. Or like, like, I don't know if we've ever like really told the full story, but basically like her.

That's how gross her out. Well, her jaw, I like to tell the story. Her jaw was out of whack for a long time. So she had like terrible. Yeah, her whole life. Yeah, her whole life. She had terrible anxiety, like grind the teeth. Like, she sounded like a chainsaw when she was sleeping next to me.

Like, she would slam her teeth together like a barracuda. And so eventually she went to the doctor and said, listen, what do I do? She said, hey, you have to have a gnarly jaw surgery. It's called double jaw surgery. And she did a post about it's all in the blog. But what they essentially do is they make incisions inside your mouth. And then they break your whole jaw. and they actually, when they do the surgery,

they can actually take your jaw out of your skull and set it on the table. And then they put all this metal back and they real. So we're like, okay, it's going to be a six month recovery. No big deal. She came out and I love her, but she looked like a pumpkin. And I. For not like a month though. Like for a year and a half.

So and it was difficult because, you know, with what she does, it's a lot of photography and a lot of like camera on her. So obviously when you're looking, and I'm just going, she said it. So when you're looking like the guy from the goonies, you don't feel as confident. That is so rude that you think that too. And so the camera got flipped on me and I was definitely super awkward. No, he was nervous, but now he loves the spotlight. Now he like, I'm blooming.

I'm blooming. I'm like, go go for triple jaw surgery. Like if we're skiing in a tree branch gives her a big scar, then I'm just like, you know, I'm sad. Yeah, he's loving the spotlight. But that's kind of what, the more you're in front of people, the more you talk, don't you feel more comfortable? Yes, and I'm such like an attention whore and I just talk so much. I have so many thoughts. Not all good thoughts, not thoughts that most people want to hear, but that doesn't stop me. Who's been your most amazing guest on your podcast? It doesn't have to be someone that's even famous. Just like someone that you, like, what's an episode that we should all go listen to? My dad, in his mind, he's famous. And I am completely okay. Like, I am the Rob Kardashian of my family and I know that. Like, I am the dud because like my mom and dad are stars. They are.

so insane. They have like the biggest personality. So I'm just trying to hitch like I'm just going to try to ride on like their coattails. You can gain a bunch of weight. Oh yeah. It's like it doesn't matter what I look like. Yeah. Amazing. I love it. I want to tell you guys about an awesome new sponsor. Movement watches. You guys know Michael and I rock movement watches all the time. You see it on our Snapchat. They were founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank, which I'm a huge fan of. The watchmaker's goal is to change the way the consumer thinks about fashion by offering high-quality, minimalistic products at revolutionary prices. With over 500,000 watches sold, that is gnarly. It's incredible.

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I'm going to give one to you, Annabel. I'm so excited. I saw these on your blog and I was going to ask you. We're going to a launch party after this. Taylor's looking for a date. Hey. You don't need to drink anything though. Don't worry. Well, you're coming on so strong. Like, she hasn't had her blowout yet. Like, give her a minute. Wait, what's a blowout? Oh, man. I haven't watched my own hair in a year. Oh, okay. So it doesn't mean just like all this stuff's going to come out of your hair when you wash it? No, no, nothing's going to come out. It's literally stuck with like dirt in grease right now. It's like, oh, it's like, oh. Well, if you want to come to the case party.

It's the caseify. Let's work on your picture. How would you invite a beautiful young lady like this to the case party with you? Case to five. Case to five. How would you? Let's hear your pitch. So, well, you got to set up the atmosphere.

Am I walking down the, am I just, did I just bump into her in the street? Like elevator pitch. Elevator pitch. I would say, well, what floor are you going to? And if you said... No, not actual elevator. Like an elevator pitch. Like, what's your pitch?

That's what an elevator pitch is, too, right? No. An elevator pitch would just say, hey, so, oh, shit. Isn't your best friend, like, a major, like, business? Wrong. Wait. Elevator pitch is like, what's your quick, what's your quick pitch? Like, how are you going to sell real?

I never really, okay, my quick pitch would just be like, hey, how are you? What's up? And her response would be? Wait, wait, okay. I feel like we should act this out. That's what I'm trying to think. So now I'm, immensely, I'm in an elevator now. So now I can't get out of there.

Okay, get out of the elevator. So I would have said, oh, you're going to the same floor I am. And I would have tried to find some middle ground. I would have said something like I said about your Alexander McQueen shirt. I would have said, oh, you've got great style. I like that. Oh, by the way, my name's Taylor. And you would have said, oh, hi, I'm Annabel.

Let her respond to what you were to say. Oh, sorry. I like your version of me way better. This is what he does is he plays this whole thing out in his head and predicts what the girl's going to say back. And then when she doesn't say that exact thing back, he has a full meltdown and goes off the rails and just, no, or I would have said, oh, you would have responded, oh, my name's Annabelle.

And I would have said, ooh, that's a beautiful name because it is. It's like the Southern girl, Southern Bell, riding around and little buggy and carriage around. She is not Southern Bell at all. No, but the name, Anna Bell, if you think about it. Okay, so how would you respond to his elevator pitch? I'm into it. See? And normally I do not talk to anybody in an elevator. I look straight down on my phone and sometimes I get off at the wrong floor to, like, just because I'm avoiding making eye contact and I'll just get off and use the stairs. I would have been like, oh, I'm getting off the same floor too. Oh, you're taking the stairs, same with me. All I can say is the next time

I want to pitch a business idea and I say I need to pitch my elevator pitch, I'm not sending you because you actually think an elevator pitch is being in an elevator. You need to go. I thought you were setting up the atmosphere. And then he tells you what the client is going to say back. He's like, listen, we're in an elevator and we're selling this product. Okay, first of all, the first two minutes of meeting you, he told you about his six-pack. No, no.

Okay. So I looked through her Instagram and there's a lot of guys on there with six-packs. From, but they're already on your Instagram. But the reality TV people. This isn't interesting development. I think you're on the wrong. My Instagram. Really?

My Instagram is mostly my cats. Let's take a quick... I think you're going to read different Anna Feltic's Instagram. Maybe I am. Let's take a quick break and when we come back, we're going to get deep into why you're stalking the wrong Instagram. Season two of some inspiring podcasts from Forbes is now on podcast one. First, if you worry that you're not the type who could succeed in starting and running a business

because you're not an extrovert, hiding in the bathroom with Mora Aaron's Mealy will change your mind and maybe your life. Then Forbes contributor, author, and entrepreneur, Denise Restore, invites you into her New York City apartment to tap into her conversations with successful women who are sharing some mentoring moments. And finally, hosts Christina Wallace and Kate Scott Campbell will blow the doors off traditional one career thinking and prove to you that the limit does not exist. Get inspired and download all three shows now on the podcast one app, iTunes, or at Podcast 1.com. This is the skinny confidential, him and her.

Your muscles are looking big today. Thank you. We have a workout contest, and if he loses, I get to hang him up upside down by this tool, and he has to be in his underwear, and the whole office gets to throw rotten vegetables at his body. Are you really going to do that? Yes. I don't think he's seen my latest selfie, because there's no way that this is going to happen.

Oh, I saw it, and I was like, what a joke. No way. And just like that, we're back. We are about to get to the bottom of why Taylor is stalking the wrong Instagram profile. No, it wasn't stalking. I was briefly perusing around. And so what happened is I think I clicked on someone who liked a photo of hers and it kept going. I probably did it on accident. And I thought it was the same account. And I happened to accidentally click on a photo of a guest that we're having on the show today. No, no, it was someone who liked her. Or heard of before by accident. I'm just doing relevant research. I'm doing relevant research. I mean, I need to make sure I know who's going to be here. And your research was terrible because it wasn't even me. No, I know. That's actually really concerning.

But you're right. No wonder you're not a real co-host. There's pictures of her cats here, which are great, actually. She's the most beautiful cat lady in the world. Oh, my God. He's wooing. Are you? We, like, not even recording right now.

I'd be completely fine with that. Like, this is the best thing that will ever happen to me. He hasn't looked you on the eye, though, once. Have you noticed? No, I have. Just for like a brief second. Then she looks and I run away. You get nervous.

Yeah. You see that, though. It's a good thing she's not drinking, because if she had that lazy, I wouldn't be able to hide. I'm sorry. You are absurd today. You and your garment bag. I can't take you. So anyways, we're back with Annabel.

She's a podcaster. And again, I want you to tell us, like, I know who your favorite podcast guest is. But what's your podcast, like, I guess your brand? Is it all comedy? Like, what can we expect when we go to your podcast? It's really fun. Like, I don't do anything. I don't talk about anything serious or educational.

It's just my girlfriends. All my girlfriends are. media. And so we just come on and we talk about, we talk about pop culture, but then we talk about, like, embarrassing stories that happened to us in high school or now, like mortifying experiences with celebrities, which is basically like every experience I've ever had with a celebrity besides Joan reverse. Can you please tell us one? You have to tell us a story. Probably my worst was Jason Siegel, who I was obsessed with. Like, my parents paid, like my parents won an auction for me to go to the set of how I met your mother. I'm just so embarrassing. I know.

But he was like my number one celebrity crush for years. Like I watched forgetting Sarah Marshall every single day. Like I was there was something wrong with me. Well, he used to be. And now I can't even see him on TV. Like I get so nervous. I saw him at the LA haunted hayride. And I literally almost died of embarrassment.

I was like, I was like, stop. So we got to get out of here. So my friend and I went to the set. Like I flew her out here. I got my makeup done. Like my hair done. I was so ready.

I wore like a cocktail dress like to go visit a set at 11 a.m. And so they were just about to go to break. So like the PA is like, oh, we're going to lunch. So you're going to have to come back in like an hour. And I was like, okay. We're at the auction winners. He's like, yeah, so we're at breaks. So just come back an hour.

You can just walk around. I was like, okay. So we're like just walking outside the lot and we see him on a golf cart like 10 feet away smoking. I was like, Lindsay, oh my God. And so I just like started hyperventiline. She's like, well, you have to go over there because you've stared at him and he sees you and you're just making so much noise.

And I was like, okay, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. So I'm like walking. just the 10 feet and right for him, like in front of him, like, some, like, intern, like, skateboards pass me and, like, jumps on the golf car with him. He's like, what's up? Jason and, like, does, like, that bro handshake. And so then I'm just standing right in front of them, just, like, six inches of weight, like, uncomfortably closed. And they're like, um, do we?

And I was like, I'm just, I'm such a big fan. I'm sorry. I want an auction. And I'm just, you do your auction winning? Like, was he nice? I was like, I'm such, I'm a huge fan. I won in this auction. And I'm just like, and he's like, um, okay, well, where are, break right now. And I was like, okay, and he's like, so you can just like walk around, you know, go see another set. Or I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go see that family guy said. I want to see the house in person. He goes, um, family guy doesn't have a set because it's a cartoon. And I said, I was like, oh, it must be that TV magic. Okay, I'm going to. And just like, walked away and started crying. So he was mean. I was just like, not like I think that's a great

joke. I was just so embarrassed. But the fact that he thought I was dumb enough that I did not know that family guy was a cartoon and that it didn't have a like the house wasn't a real set. It's like, how do you come back from that? Like, you don't. No. So, okay, so he's not, he doesn't sound like that nice either. No, he wasn't that nice. I was like, are you

like, are Jake Gyllenhaal? You're a fucking dick. Seriously. I'm just like, okay, I'm glad those kids got, you know. That's amazing that he thought you were that dumb. I know. I'm just like. He didn't get it, though. I get, like, I'm not Stephen Hawking, but I'm not, you know, like, drooling on myself. You know, like, I's amazing. Okay, so we're over him.

Who's the new celebrity crush besides Taylor? Larry David. Oh, my God. Oh, man. He is my number one celebrity crush. That's my number one, too. He is amazing. You need to get him on your podcast.

I bet he would come on. I was just telling, Lauren, if more of the world was like Larry David, we'd have a lot less confusion and problems. Explain that, Michael. Meaning, like, okay, you know that episode in Kirby, there's an episode in Curbary enthusiasm when he goes to New York. Have you ever seen this one? Do you ever watch his show Curb Your Enthusiasm?

Yeah, it was this one he was doing the producers? Yeah, so he goes to New York and there's a guy that he's, you know, they're originally from L.A. He goes to New York and he runs into the guy that's like an acquaintance from L.A. And the guy comes up, he says, hey, Larry, like we should hang out. We should get together. And he just looks and he's like, listen, we're not going to get together. We don't get together in L.A.

I don't really like you. You don't really like me. As a matter of fact, if we never talk again, like, I'm fine with that. And I just think that if more people were like that, the world would be a better place, right? I love that. Absolutely. That's what I had on my Bumble profile. It was just my celebrity crush is Larry David.

And don't message me if you're a serial killer unless you only kill other serial killers. I remember on your Instagram, this is something I was laughing about was the Instagram of Larry David where it says it's not that deep. That's from 2013. Oh shit, November 23rd, 2015. I'm deep. Where it says, you're almost a full year back. Yeah, I know. Time flies.

It says it's. I hope you're liking all of them. I need it. Oh, I won't. Okay. I'll go through. Like one from like 2012. I know. My career goal is just like my end career goal is just to be able to promote detox teas on Instagram.

That's amazing. That's like the end. Yeah. You would appreciate that. I appreciate it. Yeah. Little protein powder. Detox teas and be a guest judge on Rupal's drag race.

Perfect. I feel like those are attainable goals. So is this, is podcasting, comedians that full-time career now? Yes. I have great investors and my investors are my parents. So they're very. That's amazing. It's amazing. I love it.

Are you still doing stand-up? No, I haven't done stand-up in like almost two years. And still writing or no? Yeah, I still write and I still do freelance writing jobs. What's the writing process? Because as a blogger, I write for some reason from 11 at night to 2 in the morning, which is obnoxious and probably not the right way to go about it. Do you have like a writing process that you do that makes sense to you for

comedy or is it just kind of when it comes to you writing your iPhone notes? I'm like, I'm the biggest procrastinator ever. So for fashion please, I mean, you would have three days and they give you pictures and you'd have to write 20 jokes per picture. And sometimes like the day before they'd be like, we need 50 more jokes on Christine Aguilera's purse. So you're like trying to think of how many jokes you can make about a purse. But I would always turn them in.

I would write them probably two hours before this show, before they were due. That's just like, no, if I write it, right into pressure. Yeah. That's the best way to do. to write in my opinion. Michael likes to plan ahead, but no, but with writing, I'm learning, like, you have to, you kind of need, like, a trigger. No, you, like, it's sometimes in the moment, it's just easier to write. Like, I have to leave it to the last minute, it has to be the last thing on my to do list. I like writing on plane flights.

You did that once, and now you're obsessed. I'm obsessed. Yeah. I'm going to just just start taking plane flights around the country just so I can write. Like, anywhere, just anywhere. Yeah. Just show up to the airport and just say, just give me the next flight out of here. You're like, that's the only reason I'm going to Canada. It's just to write on the plane. No, I mean, you wrote once on a plane and now you think like you're a writer on a plane. He talked about it for like... I'm a regular Stephen King. Oh, my God.

So, do you do Delta Skylounge? I do. That was my dad's Christmas gift to me this year. And I was like, what? Is it amazing? He's like, you can shower. And I was like, how... Lauren, I've taken you to the sky lounge.

How many showering at the airport? I don't, I mean, I like the lounge, but I feel like there's wilted lettuce. Lauren is like a horse with blinders when we go through the airport. She has no idea what's around her, no idea where we are. I'm like, wow, isn't this amazing? Look at this buffet. Look at this like shower. See, if you had a lazy eye, you'd be taking in all the sites around you.

That's amazing. I need a good lazy eye. It's not that she doesn't appreciate me. It's that she doesn't really know what's going on. Well, when someone's dragging you through the airport on a child leash, no, I don't know what's going on. He gets me there eight hours early, drags me through security to sit down and eat wilted lettuce. That's got to be the next thing I do is show up like four hours early so I can get in a shower. If you get in a shower at the airport, I swear on my life, I will break up with you.

And Snapchat it. That's probably where you get those weird, you're going to get those diseases from the people that are unclean. Let's not get back into your diseases. You should go take a shower there and shave and get like a really good razor. Anybody wondering, we got into his diseases a couple episodes back. No, there's no diseases. The episode is called flared up, razor burned, and out of control. Yeah, I realize that you're supposed to shave.

You're supposed to shave with the grain, not against it. Which is the one that's currently the most aggressive? Like, is there any, like, oozing? What is the? No, no. It was a one time. flare up that I had. Okay, you go against the grain and you you pay for it the next day. Well, let's back it up. So just so he decides to go, we call him the bare naked cucumber because he goes

completely bare like a six-year-old boy. You a swimmer? What are he? He dated a Swedish girl, but let's not get too deep into that. So anyways, he got in this weightlifting contest with another guy in my office who wasn't aware that he was in the contest really. And he went to pose for pictures after like when the contest was over. And he made a mistake and he shaved the night before and had a huge flare-up. So it really, it hurt him in the points in the, I literally, I almost, I almost destroyed my own competition just by having a razor-burn. He almost lost because of this flare-up. And this is competition you made yourself? No, no, it was between a co-worker and myself, and it was to see who could, uh, have a transition, a physical transformation within

six months, or give or take. He did nothing. He didn't work out at all. And did he just, no, no, but he almost won because of the razor burn. No, no, I won. So this caterpillar is now a fucked up butterfly. Yeah. And the, the contest was on Snapchat and um you know we don't know really who won exactly um but they're doing another contest against each other i feel like michael will just do a couple push-ups before and he's going to win yeah weston actually said double or nothing weston said double or nothing yesterday as he was eating a burrito animal's going to be a judge i love no i love the guys make a contest out of anything just like throwing paper away they do like the basket perfect yeah they make a contest out

of everything that's true you guys do do that and i just like contest with you to No, you're not. Get my skin care better than you. Well, you need skincare, big time. Speaking of skin, your skin is looking beautiful. Thanks, honey. Speaking of amazing skin, I want to tell you guys about bio clarity. So you guys know I'm obsessed with skin.

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store gel. And that has the green stuff that's found in plants, which is amazing. And this is a patentant ingredient that's proven to help produce redness, the size of pores, and soothe the skin. Michael needs this so bad. I've been leaving it on the bathroom counter for you to look at. One day I'll get the hit. You're not getting the hit. So what are you waiting for? Clear skin today. Just go to bioclarity.com. The skinny confidential listeners will get their first month for only $9.95. That's a $20 savings and it comes with 100% risk-free money back guarantee, but you need to enter my code skinny. That's bioclarity.com, enter my code skinny.

Go to bioclarity.com today. I know you had a jaw surgery. How have you not had a hand surgery? Her, your ring is so, like, your hand should be dragging on the floor like an ape. Like, it is blinding. Michael did a good job. He picked out the diamond and then I did all the rest. Like your ring weighs more than you do.

And I say that in the most complimentary way. That is kind of a compliment. Thank you. That's Zirconian's really kicking in, huh? I'm going to literally kill him. It's not a Zirconian. That is so rude. Little do you know.

Yeah, little do I know. Maybe it is. Maybe he switched it out. He got out of a cracker jackbox. Yeah, I'm going to go get it a praise. I had Taylor run down to the jewelry mart down in downtown. You know those little machines with 20, you put a quarter in and you turn? I was at that machine all day trying to get that diamond out.

The ling with the claw. You know, I made him sit at the claw machine for hours until he got the right one. Taylor's getting excited when he gets to propose soon. I feel like you're almost ready. After I saw her today, I might as well lock it up. You are really hitting on Annabelle. Oh, my God. I'm back in this elevator again.

I was never an elevator. I was so nervous coming here. No, he's not making you nervous at all. I mean, he's like ready to go. Do you want to go in the bathroom with him? I mean, he's ready. This is like the first straight guy I've taught to besides like my Uber driver in like a year. So this is big for me.

I just made eye contact with it. It's like the reason it's like staring into the sun. You know, you can't look for too long. How can you not make eye contest? I have the biggest eyes in the world. I'm like a powder puff girl. Like you cannot avoid. Yeah, it's, I guess it's like that, you know, if someone's too pretty, you're like, oh,

you know, you don't want to look too long. Why do you look at me? Am I, like, dine or something that my parents haven't told me? Like, this is like a make-a-wish moment. Like, I feel like there's something that... Are you wearing crystals in your bra? Of course. Okay, tell us about the crystal.

I think I have, like, I don't know how many I have. Probably two. Okay, I have two and one. So just so everybody listening, we do. Just, I thought you were about to pull your breast out and you're pulling crystals out of your top. Tiger's eye. Oh, like, look at you. Is this like a witch bone, you know, like the witch doctor where they, you know, throw with like a little chicken legs and they read the future?

Are you going to? Who are you? Like he knew Tiger's Eye. He knew that my shirt was a knockoff, Alexander McQueen. I didn't know that was Tiger's Eye. Wait, so tell us about the crystals. Animal just pulled crystals out of her bra. I want to know all about them.

Okay, so one of my career idols, Spencer Pratt, is very into crystals. He was like the first person I saw with crystals on the hills and I thought he was crazy. And then when you come to L.A., like crystals are a very big thing. And I'm into any form of self-improvement as long as just like me paying for something and like hoping it will work. I'm like, oh, great. And I am so into them. Like they're like my new Beanie babies. I have bought probably 300 of them.

Have you really bought 300? It is alarming. Like I need a crystal for like moderation. You're walking around all day with what are essentially pretty rocks in your bra. Well, that sounds crazy. They're not rocks. They're magical rocks charged by the moon. Okay, Michael's very logical.

That sounds a little crazier. Michael's going to have some questions about this. I'm more of like a believer and like wellness and all this. No, listen, I'm all about like whatever. No, you aren't. Yeah, no, I am. Whatever gets you through the day, like mental toughness, if your positive attitude. So if that, if that's what it is.

but I need to understand the process of how we go from human beings to putting rocks. Have you ever been going through the airport and then have him go, okay, what's inside here? And you're like, oh, let me get my rocks out of my bra really quick. Crystal. One of my, sorry. Crystal. Don't, I mean, when you say rocks, that makes him sound ridiculous like a waste of money. Daddy's got to get his rocks off.

Let's, yeah, let's call him crystals, Tiger's eyes. You're like, oh, hold on, that's a tiger's eye and this is a jade. It did set off. I have like a giant, I have a giant black one. Yeah, of course. I mean, I don't carry my vibrator like in my hair. This was like a giant black crystal. And it set off the alarms where they had to get, you know, when they get the gloves out and they have to take that scanner because they thought it was bomb.

I was like, my crystal is just so powerful that they almost put me on a no fly list. I was like, but I'm in the Delta skyline. Okay. So, but what do crystals do? Like, give us like a backstory. I think that they're just really powerful. They're really calming to me. Like how people like wear crosses or stuff.

And I'm like, I can't pull off that jewelry. I don't, they're just like, each one has a different, like, property. Like, Tiger's Eye is, like, supposed to be for, like, confidence and wellness and Kainite, which is, like, the blue one is supposed to be for communication. Because with how much Adderall I take, like, I talk, like, an auctioneer, so I feel like it slows me down. Taylor, you need one for Razorburn. Is there one for Razor Burn? Does it have healing properties?

All of them have healing properties. Which one would you say he needs? Does it ever get, like, what happens if you're walking and, you're walking and, And someone bumps into you. And the rocks, do they just jab? Oh, well, I have implants, so I wouldn't even be able to feel it if they did. Like, if all of a sudden I just look down and my shirt is leaking, I'm like, oh, no, they've popped it. But I've been to auditions before where I was moving and all of a sudden I hear like, ping, pink, pink.

And they've fallen out of the bottom of my bra. And the people just look and I'm like, don't mind me. Those are just my magical rocks. And I look insane because one like rolled all the way across the room. My favorite thing is that I've got you to start calling them rocks. You probably only got them from the magic crystal store. I used to live in Tumstone, not Tumstone, Tucson, Tumstone's a great movie though, and it's a great place. Tucson, and they do the-

The Gem Show. The gem show. It's huge. It's huge. It's huge. It's like Comic-Con, but for people into Crystal. How do you know about that show? She has a booth there.

Do you really have a booth? Oh, my God, I wish. I'm not that good of a business first. and I need to spend more time around you. Let's open a... He's already thinking about how you can do a business around crystals. I can tell by his eyes. Oh my God, I bought crystals to sell on the website.

Boom. Let's talk after. That's a good idea. That's why you have to put it under $20. That's why it's $15.99. What crystals does Taylor need, though, the most, do you think? Like, if you had to recommend one after knowing him for two seconds. I'm not sure if there is, like, a sexual harassment crystal,

but Rose Quartz is really good to, like, bring in love and self-love. a sexual harassment crystal. You know, I actually, I have back in 2006 when I went to Europe, I was floating in the Mediterranean, I picked up some rocks out of the ocean, and I still have them. If I send you those rocks, will you carry them in your bra? They're like, they're not rocks. They're more like minerals. They're like those.

This has gone over in the line. No, it would be my gift to you. Once again. Because you're going to see them, you're going to, wow, this came from the Mediterranean ocean. If I give you rocks that I found in the Mediterranean in 2006, will you carry them? them in your bra. Well, I'm just trying to...

Who are you? Who knows what type of magical properties? You should take those rocks and put them in your underpants and see if that razor burn cleared. You know what? Rock, I would really love is like one that looks like hers. Oh, that's a good entryway. Taylor, get on it. Taylor's going to need to start working on some elevator pitches.

Oh, yeah, you're right. That was a good one. That was a good one. You should like really lead with that. I'm going to run down to the local arcade and see if I can get the claw machine going again. I don't know what that means, but I've heard on your podcast or maybe it was Mastasi's one of your podcast, you said that you talked to your Uber drivers about your crystals.

You said something about your Uber driver and the crystals. Oh, yeah, because I saw that she had Sage, like the big bundle of it. It looks like pot, but it's just. I like, I believe in that. I love Sage. And I was like, oh my God, is that sage? And normally, like, I do not talk to my Uber drivers. Like, I give all of them a five star and I'm like, please don't talk to me.

You don't want to, like, you don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. I think there should be a feature where you just press like you don't want to talk. Exactly. I thought I should do an app. I mean, I can barely, like, upgrade my phone. So you should do an app called, like, Schuber, where it was like, shh, but Uber. And it's people who, like, you just don't talk.

Schubert is such a good idea. You should patent that immediately. Right? Like, TM it. Is that how you do? I have no idea how to. That's amazing. You know what I do, honestly?

So I wear headphones probably 90% of the day because I take phone calls to them. And when I get in the Ubers, I just pretend that either I'm listening to something or talking to someone and when you have the headphones it's like an immediate like barrier. You do that to me too. Yeah, I do it to everyone. No, you literally pretend like you're doing something on your headphones. And then you go like this, sorry, even if you're not doing anything. Oh, you put up like the business man like a finger like one second. It's like sorry, would you say sorry? And then they're like, okay. He does do this. So you're not really talking. There's nothing saying in the earphones. No, a lot of the time, I'd say 50% of the time there's nothing going on on those headphones.

I just use them as a defense mechanism. Wow, that's manipulative. That's really rude that I'm just I'm finding that out after two years right now. You do that to me all the time with the one, like the pointer finger. Whenever I do it to you, it's because I'm listening to something. Oh, I'm listening to myself on the podcast. Okay. Okay. So the Uber drivers, we need to do Schuber.

You got to get, like, right? Isn't that like such a good idea? I mean, I'm not calling myself Mark Zuckerberg, but like, that's kind of Mark Zucker. I love it. Taylor, get on it. You invent it. Shuber. So now we're selling crystals.

See, the crystals. I would have never thought of that idea if it hadn't been for this. If I had had crystals during the Jason Seagull thing, I feel like it probably would have gone completely differently. No, because I was not into crystals then. And it was just like what made it even more insulting. It was I heard from everybody that he was like the biggest whore in Hollywood. Like I heard from like seven different people. They're like, oh yeah, he made out with my friend.

Like he goes to the bar and like literally announced during karaoke. He's like, who wants to make out with me? I'm outside. So like that was even like more upsetting. Because you felt like when you met him, he was like going to be like, let's make out of the golf. If you heard like the easiest girl, it's like basically like a hooker turning you down. Like, that's the level of insulting. I was like, I just gave kids hair or kids food or something with kids.

They got something. I don't know what the charity was. A hooker turning you down. Taylor, I feel like that may have happened. Well, I was insulted when we went to a gay bar in Miami, and I didn't get, I didn't get a wink, not even a little. This is a true story before we wrap it up. We went to Miami to, I don't know what this, it was a gay club.

And if it was like a rating from a one to ten of like, if I'm not gay, I don't care if anyone's gay, but if it was a one to ten rating of how. like intense this club was this was a full 10 like I've manipulated the whole thing I have never I've never felt so appreciated in my life I was getting grabbed I was getting slapped they probably swarmed you like ants on a piece of candy like I can't even but this guy he got upset that nobody was swarming him and he posed up on the cigarette machine with his arm and was legitimately pissed off that nobody hit on him not one just because I was more surprised I thought I would be like freaking you know flies to shit no you were not Everyone, not one person looked at you, actually.

Everyone was into Michael. I think I even did that stance, you know, where I kind of lean out and I like, my ass goes out to go like, hey, like, come and get it. No. It's like ringing the dinner bell, like, come and get it. The longer you, like, that I've known you, as every day goes on, the more concerned I am that you are somebody that I have handled serious shit for me. You're talking about sticking your ass out.

You're comparing yourself to shit. This is very concerning. They're all just weird. Is he your E? Like, he's the one that you put? This is, he's like my Dwight. If I'm Michael Scott, he's Dwight. You're Michael Scott?

That makes me Jan. No, thanks. You're definitely Jan. Is Jan the big, the overweight lady? Wrong again. No, Jan's the boss that he has an affair with. Oh, okay. Okay, it was so nice to have you pitch yourself, tell us all about your podcast, your blog, everything.

Yeah, thank you guys so much for having me. You can find my blog at Adderall and Compliments.com, and it's just funny, snarky recaps of reality shows, like what you really think during reality shows, like what you'd be saying to your friend, which is not anything that are the recaps on the internet because they're way too nice, and I'm not. So that's what you can read on my blog. And my podcast is Adderall and Complements, and it's on iTunes and SoundCloud. And you can follow me on Instagram. The right Instagram is Annabelle DeSisto. Amazing. Taylor, make sure you follow her. And soon to be crystal entrepreneur. Yes. I'm going to come and do a whole segment, and we're going to go on your show and just pitch rocks and crystals to everyone. Don't do it.

I want to do crystal meth and then in parentheses, ud healing. I see you like the sham wild guy just on a big infomercial, just pulling crystals out of your bra and throwing. Oh my God, that's such a good idea. I like the bra thing, too, that you put them in your bra. And it makes your boobs look bigger. No, we need to do as hard.

True. It's like healing. It's like a healing pushy. up rock. That's great. Great idea. Michael, get on that. You need the face. I think what you need to do is show someone have really bad luck and then show someone with really good luck and say you should have had your crystals to show that it's good luck or bad luck if you have crystals and bad luck if you don't. Can you be the lab rot? I was going to say, so me and you will do a contest.

We'll document you for a week, like how you are right now and then putting crystals on you to see if there's... As long as, and watch, I guarantee you, when I put the crystals on, I get to take you on a date and I'm going to say, wow, the crystals, hallelujah. Oh, wow. Hitting on people on air. We just met Annabelle in person and you're already hitting on her. Amazing.

Okay, before we go, I just wanted to take a minute to thank all of the great sponsors and all of you listeners and readers for supporting our podcast. You guys are what keeps the show growing and give Michael and I the confidence to keep going. We really, really appreciate it. And we will continue to do our best to bring you guys entertainment and value on a weekly basis for free. Now here's an easy way for you guys to show your love. Just use our Amazon link to do all your online shopping.

It costs you guys nothing. Just go to my podcast one show page and click on Killer Deals. It's above the show list. Then click the Amazon banner and go shopping. There's even links for Canada and the UK. So if you're in Canada or the UK, you can also support the show. Speaking of Amazon, you guys know how much I love books, love wearing my headphones, love learning, always on the go.

So why not combine it all together? Click the audible button right next to the Amazon. is on button on our show page. It will take you to some awesome reading list that you can check out and buy from Audible. They are giving listeners free audiobooks when you sign up. I use Audible all the time and it's a great way to catch up on books when I'm running around. Thank you guys again for downloading, subscribing, and of course supporting. Don't forget to send in your questions to Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag Ask Him

and Her. You can obviously always send us questions. We always answer to our Snapchats at Lauren Everett's and at Michael Bostick, two S's. Or you can email us at podcast at The Skinny confidential.com. Also in the upcoming weeks, we're going to be doing more call-ins. So all you beautiful listeners out there can call in. If you want to call in, email us at podcast at the skinny confidential.com. Subject line call in. All right, you guys, we are out. Thank you for being on the podcast, Annabelle. Taylor. It was really nice meeting you. Taylor's going to try to ask you all right.

I'm going to go meet you in that elevator. Oh, she will take the stairs. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential, him and her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcast1.com or subscribe now on the podcast 1 app.