The Bossticks - #34: Crashing the Party, Bachelor & Bachelorette Breakdown

Episode Date: October 25, 2016

Lauryn & Michael each share some highlights from their respective sendoffs, from the unmarried life! The two newlyweds to be, discuss the wedding planning taking its toll on Michael, girls being 'sketchy' at bachelorette parties, Michael winning the bull riding contest at his bachelor party, the most expensive wedding tacos, the 'Him & Her Tips of the Week,' and they answer listener questions. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

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Diff.Iware.com slash skinny. All right, let's get the show rolling. The following program is a podcast.1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart company. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride.

Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. Welcome back, guys. For those of you who don't know me, I am Warren Everett's creator of the blog and brand skinny confidential. And I am Michael Bostic, budding podcaster, entrepreneur, and soon to be, soon to be, hopefully. Husband to the lovely young lady sitting across from me. I feel like you're just saying that to get brownie points today because I was grumpy. I need some brownie points today. You also need some coffee.

I need something. You need something. I almost gave you a shot of adrenaline a second ago. I'm moving at a snail's pace this morning. Which is so weird and bizarre because all weekend we were moving at a snail's pace, so it's time to kick it up a notch. The thought of this wedding is killing me slowly. Yeah, well, sack up. You know, the guy's not supposed to be the one that's, like, stressed out.

It's supposed to be the girl. Let me tell you something. When you're writing checks, you're stressed. I'm writing checks, too. I'm stressed too. We're all stressed. Everyone's stressed. You do this thing where you like to let everyone know how stressed you are.

I want everyone to know. I know. Everyone knows. I'm going into mental toughness mode right now. Everyone gets it. Fuck it, whatever. Yeah. I mean... Just buy all the tacos in Mexico.

I just want to point out something really hilarious. I have a fully stocked fridge of, you know, waters and juices and vegetables and whatever Michael needs and... And lima beans and like weird pastas and rock candies that just are purely aesthetics. The point is that normally I have cold brew in the refrigerator. And I mean, I just think it's funny because today I didn't have it and he's complaining every second, but you never notice when I do have it. Well, no, I noticed something was missing today. And also, you took all the teas out and I don't know how to, I don't know which ones have caffeine and don't. I think I picked one without caffeine.

I noticed something was missing from your personality today, too. So I'll be sure to have cold brew all the time in the fridge. All right. As always, thank you guys for subscribing, listening and rating our podcast. We really appreciate the reviews and the messages on social media. Honestly, every time we get one, we, like, show each other, like, and we giggle. If you guys have not rated or reviewed the show, please do so. Even if it's just one star, drop us the line.

Let us know how we can continue to improve. And if you like the show, please, please, please tell your friends, your family so we can continue to grow the awesome community. I don't do a giggle. I do, like a manly laugh, like a goof-a, you know, like a, is that how you say? Like a huh. I don't know, babe. I'm not giggling. You need some cold brew or you're giggling.

I need a main laugh. You need something. So what's been going on? Well, obviously wedding planning, Michael thinks he's doing the entire wedding, even though I'm doing the entire wedding, which is hysterical in every single way. No, I'm not really, I don't really think I'm doing anything. I'm just seeing, like, I'm getting nervous the more and more I see you doing because I'm thinking in my, like, all I see every time you decide to do something new is like dollar

sign, dollar sign. No, I actually have it under control. It's actually not that bad. And I'm going to just call this out right now. I am not a huge believer in spending tons of money on a wedding. You don't say because you could have fooled me. No, I'm really not. I would rather invest it in my business.

That's wrong. You're going to get a bill and I'm going to be with you and we're going to see. It's not as bad as you think. I'm going to pass out. Like my wedding dress, like I know some girls spend like tens of thousands of dollars on their shit. I'm keeping it cool. Yeah. And their husbands are now dead or in a coma.

At this point, I feel like you should just go with it. I mean, it's my wedding, just like smile. I guess I'm just there. Yeah, you're a prop. Prop, yeah. We might as well just hire someone to stand in for you. If you don't shave your chin and your upper lip right, then I'm going to hire someone to stand in for you.

Wouldn't that be nice? I feel like you're going to walk down the aisle and headphones. Oh, God. Unfortunate. Anyway, so in preparation for the wedding, Michael had his bachelor party in Montreal. Maybe that's why I'm so tired still. No, you've got a sack up. You're not 80.

I feel like I'm 80 now. When we got back, I was like a walking zombie. You still are. I was like the walking dead. You still are. Yeah. Hate to break it to you. But we just had a good time.

We went up there. I didn't snap as much because my friends were not having that. His friends were yelling at him. Yeah, they were saying, get the fuck off your Snapchat. And it's probably better because at one point, I tried to do a snap. And I looked so terrible. My friend saved the picture and showed it. me the next day and was like, hey, this is what you're going to look like. And you know, I'm all about

like just snapping in the raw and not worrying about what I look like. But listen, this was doing everyone a favor out there by not snapping what I looked like. I looked like I had been buried alive and then dug back up. Did you have to put us through you on a horse though in the dark? What do you mean in a horse? Oh, my bull ride? Yeah, no one cared. I won the bull ride competition. Taylor lost at about one second, Wesson, one second. My friend Stephen came close, but no. Nobody is as athletic as me. So, like, tell everyone what you did, because it sounded really weird. You rented an Airbnb with 12 guys? We rented an Airbnb with, no, not 12. I think we had nine of us. Okay. And, you know, I think girls freak out a little bit more about bachelor parties than they should because basically

what you do is you just go up there and get fucked up for a few days. And it's not as, it's not as scary or as crazy as girls think. I mean, I think if you were actually on that shape, you'd be like, you would hate it. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't want to watch you drive a mechanical bowl in a dark bar. No, I mean, we ran around, did the typical things, got drunk, you know, went to clubs, went to bars, had a couple drinks, wrote a couple bowls. Doesn't sound like my cup of tea. Had a couple burgers. I'm glad you went and did that with just took it easy, you know? You got sick. And you know, girls don't need to be so inquisitive with bachelor parties. I wasn't inquisitive. No, but I, but,

I'm just saying like a lot of girls are. They get like they send they're going to send out a PI. They're trying to worry. Just let the guy just go do it. You know what's so funny right now is that I've heard so many horror stories from many of your friends and many people who are not your friends about bachelor parties. So let's get real. Girls have a reason to kind of ask questions and be inquisitive.

Like I don't know why you're acting like it's a weird thing. You can't even keep a story. Let me tell you something. Girls are way. I know there's mostly girls listening to this right now and you know who you are. I'm talking to you right now. Girls are the sketchiest ever on Bachelorette parties. I wasn't sketchy.

I'm not saying you were. Honestly, I was busy, like, snapping. I didn't have time to be sketchy. Listen, I'm secure with myself. I'm not worried about what you were doing, but I'm saying, you know who you are right now if you're listening. Why are you whispering into the mic? Because they know who they are.

Girls on Bachelorette parties, they get down. They are sketchy. How do you know who you are? Because I see them out there. I'm running around. I see. You're not running around. That's a bachelorette party. You're in bed with a book by nine. Like, let's get real. What are you talking about? You're around and you see them. There's a girl. There's, there's girls that get so out of control on bachelorette parties. You know why? Because they just, they, they, they start to freak out. You know, they start to get a lot of attention that they hadn't had in a while. And all of a sudden, all honestly, sheets to the wind. I feel like your loyalty's out the window. Really deflecting right now. This is really manipulative. Don't listen to anything he says. I notice you. You're deflecting. I noticed you had a manservant. I did have a man servant.

And sorry, manservant, if you're listening, he's probably not. But he was like a shittier version of me. Why were you zooming it on him to look? No, I looked and I was like, that guy looks like a smaller, weaker, not as successful, not as good looking version of me. I have literally never met someone as jealous as you. You are jealous. No, that's what I'm telling you.

Your boy isn't jealous. No, I'm glad you had your fun. I did. I had my fun. Let's just say that your party, your setup, was a little bit different than mine. You don't say. Yeah.

So Michael went on his boring, bull riding bachelor at party in Montreal with horrible weather. First of all, Montreal is fucking awesome if anybody goes to Montreal. It's great. Great food, great people, great weather. It's great. You have readers up there too. Okay. I'm sure Montreal is great, but my bachelor's party was better.

I don't know what to say. That's why you crashed it. I did crash it. I was coming home the next day and I said that pool, looks pretty good. You happen to have a pink shirt with Esperol, what do you call those shoes, Esperanza? Esper drills. Esper drills. In your bag. And you crashed my Bachelorette party and you were sipping rosé and thinking you were one of the girls. No, I was not thinking I was one of the girls. I was thinking, shit, these girls got a good setup out here and I'm going to go take advantage of it

to recover. How cute was our setup? Yeah, it was good. So basically what I did, which is the right way, don't listen to Michael's way, was I got a house through Airbnb in Palm Springs. It used to be a hotel, so it was 12 rooms, and it was amazing. It was the cutest setup. It was like very Valley of the Dolls, you know, 60s, black and white striped. And then I micromanaged the fuck out of all my friends. Let me just back up and let you guys know that I told my friends that I wanted a one-hour spa day in San Diego for my bachelor's party. that turned out very differently.

Yeah. Very differently. Girls are so much different than guys. No, I like detail. I needed my white plastic thick cups from Santropay. I wanted my leafs lying on the table with pineapples. I wanted my bar set up. I wanted my pixie straws.

I wanted boob balloons. I wanted the setup. My setup was I slept in a bed with my friend Stephen and Weston for three nights in a row. That's creepy. And the only thing we had to eat in the house was cold McDonald's Big Macs that Stephen went and forged for at about three in the morning. And now they're coming out on your skin and you need oil more than ever. Literally, I didn't have any balloons or any festivities. We had nothing.

I couldn't even barely get any water. Okay. Well, we had a man servant. We had white balloons. We had flowers from the books. We had wine bottles that said guys with big dicks drink rosé. I'm going to break down the whole thing on the skinny confidential, but basically my friends were like crying by the end of it because I micromanaged the fuck out of them. But they were good. They were good. Oh, man, I can't wait for this wedding stuff to be over.

That's not nice. Well, I'm being nice. I'm just saying this has been a... You're not being nice. This has been a process. Why? Because it's just, it's a lot of distractions. Okay. Well, I'm sure it's been really stressful for you to plan every detail on the whole thing. No one, I feel like no one really knows what we're doing. Well, we're just going down to Cabo and apparently buying the most expensive tacos in the world. No, the tacos aren't that expensive, actually.

And, um... I just added a couple things. I don't want to know anymore. I need Bossa Nova Band. I need... There's a couple things that I need that are non-negotiable. Like, I don't know what to say. There was one time I looked at the list and you were trying to buy massages for every single person in the wedding party.

It was foot massages by the pool after the day that everyone arrived. That's not too weird. Well, guess what? anyone that's coming. I next that, I cut it right out of the budget, not happening. Unnecessary. No way. Who wouldn't want a great foot massage by the pool? I'm sure they do, but they can pay for it. Like, imagine you just arrived to someone's wedding and then you're like drinking and then like the next day you wake up and you lay by the pool and there's like alavera foot rubs. Yeah, why don't I just buy everybody a ride to the moon? I mean, it's my wedding.

Yeah. Anybody, the wedding, they're supposed to bring me stuff, right? Can I just tell everyone what the funniest thing about this whole thing is, is that his mom has insisted on throwing us a wedding party after we come back. So there's like 10 weddings. Dude, people are probably so sick of that. I feel bad for everybody that has to go. I'm being reasonable. I'm not doing a cake. Like, I don't know what to say. So. Well, the one good thing, what's not one, there's a lot of good things, obviously, but your body's looking pretty tight. At the bachelorette? You're getting in good wedding shape. Bachelorette party. are looking good. Me, I was coming off a bender and about eight Big Macs, so.

You looked like shampoo. Yeah, I looked like shit. No, we need some oil. We need some massages. We need some eyebrow brushes. There's a lot going on. So to prepare for the Bachelorette party, I am just lifting heavy. I am eating my meal plan. I definitely did the meal plan, like, on steroids two weeks before the Bachelorette party. I'm back on it now. And I'm using the bombshell body guide, all my workouts and my meal plan can be found on members. Dot the skinny confidential.com. And we're giving you guys a discount code since it's kind of like wedding season. Well, it's not wedding season.

It's actually opposite of wedding season, but it's my wedding season. So use him and her at checkout for a 20% discount and do the meal plan with me because I am doing it on steroids for two weeks before my wedding, starting now. Good. Good. Great. Great. You need to do it.

I need to jump on it. I feel like I have a list of things you need to do before the wedding tears. I got to work out a couple times because I got to go and beat Taylor in his stupid workout competition so I can throw rotten fruit at him. Taylor's beating you right now. No, he's not. If you're going to be that listen, you'll know it was last week we talked about this competition, me and Taylor are going to do. Or Taylor and I. He is on the dating scene.

He's getting him and Annabelle from last week. They might be hitting it off. I think he thinks in his head they're hitting it off. I think he's really going to try to pursue that. By the way, Annabelle is so cool. She's cool in person and Taylor would be so lucky. Annabelle's from the podcast Adderall and Complements, who we had on last week. A lot of people liked that show.

We liked her. Yeah, Michael said it. Actually, when she left, you said, wow, that's one of the coolest girls I've ever met. Yep, she was. And Taylor really, really liked her. Taylor was so nervous the entire time he couldn't look her in the eye for a good 45. minutes. It was pretty awkward, but what else is new with him? I don't want to get too deep, but just when you think you know somebody, bring Taylor O'Connor

on your bachelor party, and just when you think he's weird, oh, trust me, he's weird. Next week, or maybe the next time I bring on the show, we're going to hear a story about a man named Katut, who turned out to be Taylor's friend when he worked on a cruise liner. Who the fuck is Katow? Oh, don't worry. You will find out. I can't wait. I feel like that's already a hash. tag waiting to happen. Between Tales You Die and Cotette, I can't. All right, enough about Cotette. Let's get into beauty. Okay, guys, if you follow me on Snapchat, you know I am fresh off my Bachelorette party. So for each girl, we put together this very TSC goody bag. It was all my favorites.

And of course, in each girl's goody bag, I added copari. After testing out all their products, I knew my friends would become obsessed. And of course, they were, especially in Palm Springs. I just feel like they moisturize the skin and hair and smell island fresh, which is very on brand. And all their products contain no sulfites, silicones, gmos, or paravans. They are all made with 100% organic coconut oil, too. Love it. Nothing fake. My favorite product to give the girls was definitely the organic coconut melt because we are in the desert,

and this one's just insane because it's multipurpose. No one wants to lug around 100 products, and this one just does everything. Another staple was the Kopari coconut body glow. When the manservants came to serve all the girls margaritas, we wanted a little glow, you know. All right. So make sure you check out the organic coconut melt. It's a total beauty must have. Just go to coparibeautom slash skinny now and get 20% off your order.

That's Kopari, K-O-P-A-R-I-Beautom slash skinny for 20% off. Okay, time to get into the tip of the week. People were missing the tip of the week last week. Yeah, they were. Well, I just think, you know, sometimes when you have a guest, You don't want to get out of the rhythm. And I didn't want to just stop Annabelle and Taylor's love affair and be like, well, here's my tip of the week. Taylor was having a love affair with himself.

Yeah, it was still. It was entertaining. So I couldn't, you know, sometimes you can't get into it. But we're going to try our best to get into the tips of the week every week. My tip this week has to do with emails and not being held hostage to emails. I talked to so many people that always complaining about how full their inbox is, how, yeah, Lauren, everybody around me. They have to get to their emails. I have to answer their emails.

I am definitely not the best emailer, but that's by choice. I look at emails as an invasion and as a disruption into focus. So, you know, I understand that emails are important, but a lot of the time they're unimportant and there are other people checking things off their own to-do lists. So, you know, I kind of pick and choose when I respond emails and what parts of the day. And a lot of the time that means that I don't respond to everyone's email. this may be considered rude, but at the same time, I feel like if I spent all day responding to emails, I wouldn't get any real work done. And I think at some point, you kind of need to

make the decision or you need to make the choice, like, okay, I'm actually going to work today or I'm going to respond to emails. And of course, there's some crossover between, you know, emails and work. But I think being held hostage to emails is a really bad quality and it's really destructive to focus. I think, you know, Warren Buffett doesn't even have an email that he responds to on a regular basis. I don't think. It was a really bad quality. It was a really destructive. I don't think it was either him or charlie monger i'm not sure one of those guys but they're both you know billionaires so that has something to do with it um yeah and i think a lot of the time you know like if i just called you up in the middle of the day and said hey susy or john you got five minutes i'm

going to bust in your office right now and i need five minutes of your time people would be offended and say why like i don't have five minutes in the middle of the day so what's i mean i don't see any difference between that and an email so you know pick and choose when you're going to answer emails don't feel like you have to clear your inbox all the time also pick and choose which emails are important and which ones are a waste of time and really make the distinction and have discipline when you're responding to your emails. All right. Well, when I check my emails, I drink peppermint tea.

And I feel like people are going to like this tip because I'm really excited about it. So peppermint tea is insane. Everyone should run out to Whole Foods and get some. I like New Me or Mighty Leaf. They're both organic. Numi's always in our house. It's so good. I get the Moroccan mint. So why I like it is because, well, there's a lot of reasons. It suppresses your appetite. It cleans your palate. It improves digestion. It reduces pain. It eliminates inflammation, which was awesome because I had jaw surgery. I need

this all the time. And it really, really cures bad breath. So everyone should drink it. Why I fell in love with it was when I was in China. I heard from one of my readers, her name's Courtney. Courtney if you're listening, that a lot of people in China and in Bali, they break peppermint sticks before they eat. They carry them in their bag and they break them in half and they smell them before they eat. A lot of the girls do this because it makes you feel fuller, quicker. So if maybe you don't need 10 pieces of bread, maybe you just need one. So all the girls just carry peppermint sticks in their purse. Isn't that interesting, honey? I wish I would have had a couple peppermint sticks when I was slamming eight Big Macs on my bachelor party. Yeah, I should have put some in your purse.

Another person who is a huge fan of peppermint tea is Victoria Beckham. She drinks six cups a day. I probably drink three. I drink it all throughout the day. I like it hot. I like it iced. I just love it. I'm addicted.

I drink it after meals. Try it. Let me know. It's caffeine-free so you can drink it before bed too. All right. Well, I got to carry some peppermint sticks before this wedding so I don't go down there looking like a porpoise whale. Yeah, you got a couple things to do, though.

I need to take a bath in oil, get some peppermint sticks, hit the gym. Baby, you have a scroll of things to do. Oh, my God. Well, while I work on my scroll, we'll take a quick minute break. Hey, honey, guess what? What? Dr. Mrs. Giddy Pig Show is out every Tuesday on Podcast One. Isn't that exciting?

I'm excited, except we're going to subject ourselves to some painful things to figure out what's the truth. Our pain for their pleasure. My pain for your pleasure. Get it at iTunes or Podcast One.com. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. We're back. We went over his scroll. We didn't go too far.

Yeah, we did. We sat in the same seat. No, honey. I have a list in my iPhone notes of things you need to do before the wedding to work on yourself. I envision, like, whenever I hear people, like, on a show taking a break, I envision them going and, like, stretching their hands and, like, going outside and around. But literally, we just sat in the same place for a couple minutes. I had to stare at his unoiled face for five minutes. All right.

Let's get into the questions from you guys. Keep sending them in podcast at the skinnyconfidential.com. We love to hear your questions. We are going to do another call in soon. Hopefully the bare naked cucumber can field those calls. Hopefully not. Hopefully not. Can we ask if Cotette can come on?

Wait till you hear about Cotette. I can't wait. All right. The first question. How is starting a blogger brand in 2016 different than it was four years ago? That's a great question. Well, this is just like anything else. It's no different and also very different.

The biggest difference is there's a lot more noise and a lot more saturation in the space, right? We were at a conference this week. What was it called? The collective conf. The collective conference, I guess. And it was a great conference. There were some things that were said that I really agreed with and some things that I disagreed with. One of those things was the difference between bloggers and influencers.

They were trying to make a distinction between bloggers and influencers. And I wanted to jump up and basically be the keynote speaker myself. He was, okay, wait, let me just set the scene for a minute. We were on, I was on stage and he was in the audience. And when they asked this question, he was shaking and perspiring with anticipation to hop on the stage. No, because the problem I saw is people are trying to make a difference between influencers, bloggers, social media entrepreneurs, whatever. But really, it's all the same thing. Somebody of influence is somebody who has influence, right?

That could be a blog, that could be YouTube, that could be Snapchat, that could be. It could be a micro blog. It could be a columnist from a newspaper. It could be anything. It could be celebrity, anything. It's anybody that has influence in a certain space. So to get back to the question and how starting a blog or brand in 2016 is different than it was four years ago, it's different in the sense that there's a lot more avenues, there's a lot more channels, a lot more mediums. But it's the same in the sense that if your message is reaching interested audience, then you have a blog or a brand or an audience or an audience.

or you have influence is what I'm trying to say. There's no difference there. I mean, branding and blogging is all about capturing a certain demographic and speaking to their interests and speaking to it well. So the only differences that I see now in 2016, and this goes for 20 years ago, 30 years, is the way you do that's different. There's different mediums or different channels. I would say that if you're getting into the social media space, it's a lot more saturated. It's a little bit tougher than it was when Lauren started.

but again, it's all about reaching that interested party and really catering to them. I completely agree with you. I think that if you're scared of starting a blog or brand in 2016 because it's 2016, that's a weak excuse. And you need to look inward and be like, why am I making excuses that it's 2016? I hear so many people say, I shouldn't start a blog because it's 2016 and it's saturated. I mean, if you're a real estate agent, how many real estate agencies happen before you? You can't base you not pulling the trigger off that it's 2016. Wouldn't you agree?

I would agree. You just have to change up your plan. Yeah. You change your strategy. Yes. What worked for somebody in 2012 may not necessarily work in 2016, but there's a new strategy that will work now. And you need to figure out what that strategy is.

My strategy, I can't sit here and give you my strategy that I did in 2000. because it's not the same strategy. So basically as the blog and brands evolve, and now it's 2016, the strategy evolves with it. Yeah. You know, when I first started advertising on Facebook in 2012, it was wide open. There was very little saturation. You could throw an ad up and get a really, really strong response. You can still get great response on there now, but it's not what it was back then.

So that's because the space has become saturated. Competition is flooded in. So you have to find new ways to, you know, stand out. You have to have new ways to reach your audience. I think a lot of people get in trouble, though, because they're so nervous about doing it the way somebody else did. And I've said this for a long time now. You have to find out what works for you. You can't take somebody else's formula and apply it to yourself.

You can take elements of their formula. You could say, okay, this worked for Lauren, this works for this person, this work for this person. And now it's, I'm going to put my spin on it, and it's going to work for me. But if you just try to take someone else's blueprint, you're going to run into some problems. I 100% agree with you. I think that every successful blogger or brand or influencer that I've seen has created their own formula and their own way to stand out. And they've been really true to what they're doing. And you should find something that's really random about you, that maybe you don't think is random, but other people think is random.

And write it and talk about it and use your own voice to share the experience. Everyone's different. You don't need to do someone else's form. You don't need to see what's worked for other bloggers. Everything's constantly changing too. So maybe what's cool for this blogger over here in 2016 won't be cool in 2017. What I'm starting to see a huge trend of is that bloggers used to give off this I Am Perfect facade. Everything was perfect.

Everything was edited. Nothing was in real time. And I think things are changing. I think people are interested in the behind the scenes. I think people want to see what really goes on. I think people want to see the hard work and the sweat that goes into it. I think they want to see you roll out of bed in the morning and, you know, wearing iPads. Maybe not me, but maybe you.

Maybe if you want to see you. Maybe not you. But I think that the facade of everything's perfect and, oh my God, I just had a baby two days ago and I'm back to my pre-baby weight. It's like, it's over. I mean, it's cool for a while, but how long can you see that? I don't know if it's necessarily. over. It just maybe it might be over for some, right? Like so. Right. I don't think it's, I think Michael's right. I don't think it's over. I just think you all, I think a mix is good.

Yeah. I just, like I said, I think there's all sorts of different strategies and different things that work, but you have to find out what works for you. You know, I'm not going to be the best on Instagram. I'm just not, I don't put as much thought into that as Lauren as, as Lauren does. But I like Snapchat. So I, so I use that medium. You know, it's also when you're starting out, I think it's smart to focus on one, maybe two mediums or channels and really find your community and develop your audience through those one or two channels, preferably one. And then, you know, once you have that audience in the community, you can kind of shift them around and move them to other places. Maybe you start a blog and that's doing really, really well. Okay. Maybe start micro blogging through Instagram. Or maybe

you start doing, you know, Instagram videos and those are doing really well. Okay, maybe now move that to YouTube. I don't know. But I'm just saying find your own voice, do your own thing. Do your own thing, do what works for you, don't be pressured, be patient. And, you know, really, like I said, there's no difference in starting a brand in 2016. There's just different mediums and different ways to reach your audience. What were we reading the other day that said that listening to outside influences mixed together is a really big plan for disaster? I think, well, listening and understanding other things that are going on is not a bad plan, but getting influence to the point where you can't get your own message out there. That's a disaster. Right. So if your

parents are telling you don't do this and your best friend saying she doesn't like this and your and your boyfriend's saying don't do this. I mean, my advice to you is to put your blinders on. And I get hearing other people's opinions, but if you have a very clear vision and you're a visionary, you need to stick with that. Yeah, I have a friend in Chicago. We had a really good conversation on my bachelor party. He works for Thomas Keller and Thomas Keller's new restaurant in Chicago. And he's been a chef out there now for the last years and he's been really focused on becoming a chef for the last 10 years and he hasn't been making the income that he's wanted to make for a while. He has a lot of entrepreneurial friends. So he was kind of questioning himself. And I basically told him, I'm like, listen, man, if that, if you know that

path is right for you and you're happy doing what you're doing, then you need to stick with that. And that's clarity, right? Like he has, he's clear on his vision. And I envy people like that. I think that to be that clear and to have that much vision is a really, really strong trait. And it's a really, really good quality, and it's only going to help you in the long run. And Lauren has that vision. You know, she's done it for a long time. I have a huge vision. All right.

Next question. I'll read it, honey. I'm in a three-year relationship and I think, keyword, think. My boyfriend is cheating. What would you guys do here? Well, I mean, this is a hard question to answer, especially not knowing you because... I feel like it's not that hard. Well, if you think something, I can't tell if this is a girl that's like kind of like going

a little crazy or if you think your boyfriend's cheating on you, you should figure it out. You should not brush it under the rug. Michael, don't look down. I'm not looking down. I don't think about cheating ever. Maybe I should. Should I? I mean, no.

You're getting froggy out there? With the man servant. I think that if you think somebody's cheating that there's also issues. There's other issues. There's other issues, yeah. And I don't want to call anybody out. Why? No, because I just don't want to, like, attack this person.

But, you know, a lot of time when I think people are looking for shadows that aren't there, those shadows start to appear. You know? I don't really think that's what's going on. It sounds like her boyfriend is cheating to me. A girl will hear that she thinks a guy's cheating and girls will just immediately say he's cheating. Yeah, because guys can be nasty sometimes. I think. So can girls.

I know. But I think if she thinks, if there's a reason to think, there's a reason to investigate. And I would say, do not. brush it under the rug and act like everything's fine if you think someone's cheating on you. Listen, I don't have time. If you're going to cheat on me, bye. You're out. Like, I don't want to be with a cheater.

Ew, yuck, disgusting. I don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me. And people don't have time to like snoop around and like see what happens. Like you got to figure it out. Someone's cheating on you. It's a waste of your time. It's a wasted their time. Bye.

Well, here's the deal. I think there's two trains of thoughts. And it's my favorite thing to say to either either find out if he's cheating and leave. or shut up. Or find out if he's cheating and get the biggest broom you can find and sweep it all under the rug and stop crying about it.

Either leave or do something about it because it's really that simple and people want to hear like, oh, well, what if this and what if that? And like, you know, he kind of like, he can't know he's cheating in this day. He slipped and fell in how to drink this one time or she slipped and fell in how to drink that one time.

The worst thing, if anyone's out there listening and they're in a relationship where they think there's cheating, the worst as a woman is one of my friends. comes to me and makes excuses for them. That is literally like the worst. If you like to shut up, sweep it under the rug, don't say anything and don't play the victim or get the fuck out. There's no in between.

No, but I think it's like it's, if you're cool with it, stay and if you're not cool with it, leave. We've done this before. Who? No, we've talked about this before. We've done this whole, you know. Have you ever cheated on anyone? Have I ever cheated on anyone?

Mm-hmm. Unfortunately, yes, in high school, really made some rough moves. But, you know, I've made... You're literally turning as red as the shirt you rocked on my palm spring. I've made amends. We've talked about this in other episodes. Yeah, I've done things in the past that have not been up to par with what I would consider my par now. And, you know, I've had to answer for that with a lot of screams and yells and anxiety.

If you cheated on me, I wouldn't be brushing shit under the rug. And my broom would not be going under the rug and be going up your ass. He might be brushing me under the rug after killing me. It'd be brushing your remains into the rug. I 100% believe that too, so I don't fuck around. Yeah. You told me once if you cheated on me, you'd book a one-way ticket to, like, Japan. No, I would be long gone.

Nobody would ever hear from me again. I would find you. I have a lot of different things in place. All right. Let's change the subject for Michael's sake. So you guys know I spend a lot of time researching beauty for the skinny confidential. I like to know the good, the bad, the ugly, the trends, the colors, what's works, what doesn't work. You get it. Anyway, today I'm super excited to introduce you to

BeautyCon Box. Now, why I love this is because it's quick and efficient. So basically, it's $150 of product for $30. I love a good deal. It's a subscription box that's delivered straight to your door each season. Some of my favorites in the box are the flutter lash and the Oprah liquid lipstick. They were both in my makeup kit in Palm Springs and my girlfriend, Erica, from Fashion Lish, was literally trying to steal the flutter lash every second. So you guys can save $20 if you sign up for the annual payment plan, which is awesome. This means that you get to pay the total cost of the entire year in boxes. But if you're more of a seasonal girl, you can pay each month for the box and the shipping cost.

Check out beautycon.com.com slash box to sign up today. And of course, we have a discount code for you guys. Box Buzz for 20% off. So if any of you watch 60 Minutes, there was an interesting segment last night. I don't watch 60 Minutes too often. It was so good. Yeah, we watched it last night. It was all about influencer marketing.

Gary Vee was on there, Kim Kardashian. There was some big. What's the guy? The Vine Star? Logan Paul. Amanda Cernie. Maniserni. Just a bunch of people that have a ton of influence.

Yeah. And it was really interesting. because it seems that the mainstream media is really paying attention now to this form of media. They're taking it seriously. They're taking it seriously, which I'm excited to see. I've been saying for a long time that I think this medium is still very, very undervalued for multiple reasons. You know, the difference between influencers, and I would consider Kim Kardashian an influencer and traditional celebrities is they have people choosing to go and put eyes on them.

24 hours a day, seven days a week, where a typical celebrity, you know, say they run a commercial campaign or something, that only gets seen by chance randomly on a billboard, on a commercial, in a magazine. And I feel like a celebrity. It feels like there's something between the celebrity and the consumer. With social media, you don't feel that. Like, I feel like sometimes when I'm marketing or talking to someone, then I'm talking straight to the person and I can actually tell them my experience with the product and whether it was great

or bad, and I can give my honest opinion. With a celebrity, you never know what they're getting paid for, what the deal is. With an influencer, it feels more like you're talking to a friend. Meaning LeBron James isn't really driving a Kia? He's not. No, but, you know, the difference is that consumers are actually choosing to follow and identify with a voice, a voice like Lawrence or a voice like the people that were on the show that are day.

And they do so not because, oh, wow, this person is showing me this product. They do so because they know that person will only show them. products that they believe in. And it's a, it's a form of trust where, you know, as long as that influencer or that person is not breaching trust and putting products out that they, that they wouldn't use themselves, the community believes that and the community identifies with it and they're happy to listen to it. And I think that this is only scratching the surface of how big this is going to get. Yeah, I think at least for me and a bunch of other bloggers that I know that are awesome like the balance bond what's gobbie cooking i know that they only put products out that they

actually use so i'm not going to talk about something unless i've used it and i'm not talking about just one time i'm talking about a lot of times i need to use it i need to see how it's how it's working which is why on snapchat sometimes you'll see different products that i'm using because i'm constantly testing to see what i like of course i'm not going to get a product that has a ton of chemicals in it and try it on myself i'll look at the ingredients first i'll see if the brands fit and then And from there, I'll try it out. So I'm very selective about what I put out there. And I feel like when I say, you know, these are my favorite eye masks or this is my favorite

peppermint tea. It's because I've really tried it and tested it and seen. And again, I'm just sharing what's worked for me. I'm not pushing it on anyone. I never want to push it on anyone. And I think that it's really important to keep kind of writing that as an influencer, making sure that you're constantly testing for the consumer and you're being honest and giving an honest reveal. Well, the best thing, and from the brand side, the best thing that these brands can get for

value and the best things these brands can do is to let people, like Lauren, and influencers, kind of spread their message the way they want to spread it. I'm seeing a big shift on the, on the marketing side, on the brand side of brands actually saying, you know what? Like, if you like this product, why don't you go and actually tell people why you like this product in your own voice? And that's, you know, this is now happening for the first time. in my opinion. I think before it was very much a curated message from these brands using a celebrity or somebody with an audience to get their message across. And I think now what's happening is there's a collaboration between the brands and the influencers. I think it's happening slowly

but surely. I hate a script. I don't want to read a script. I have my own voice. I have my own opinion. I think that some really dated companies aren't getting the message that as an influencer, we need to be able to speak in our own voice and communicate with our audience and the way we communicate. If I start saying things that I've never said before and using words I've never used before, people have, you know, a very good bullshit meter. Michael always says this. I mean, people are going to know that it's not, that it's not me. I don't want to script. I want to talk the way I talk. And ultimately, I think that's what is, that's what's going to resonate with. the with the reader or the audience.

Yeah, no, it is resonating with readers and audience. And, you know, again, it's not all about product placement or brands at all. It's, in my opinion, it's mostly about building a community and trust within that community. And the thing that I'm happiest about is that people are starting to take that relationship between readers or listeners or viewers or audience and influencers seriously. And the days of saying, okay, well, we're just going to exploit that audience and exploit that listenership to do what we, what we think is right, are coming to a close, at least if you're a smart brand. And they're starting to say, okay, let these people do their thing and we'll focus on putting out a good product. Absolutely. They supply the product. We, you know, we as influencers supply the voice.

So I want to talk about one more thing before we go. I want to talk about what I was presenting about at the collective con. that was that as important it is to collaborate with brands, it's really important to build your own brand. So I've noticed that a lot of influencers or bloggers are constantly doing sponsored posts or collaborations like, you know, every single day, all the time, 24-7, like, that's great, but at what point are you going to sit back and build your own brand? And this has kind of been the year for me where I've started to make the steps to build my own brand instead of someone else's. If you've been in the influencer world for a long time, I would really sit and examine if you're building other people's brands or your own brand or if you're making strides at least and really think about that. Yeah, at some point you need to make the crossover between collaboration and building your own thing.

And I'm a big fan of building your own thing, obviously. We know, honey. All right, we're off. We're going to go get Michael some cold brew. He really, really, really needs it. I need it bad. I need it bad. But before we go, I just.

I just want to take a quick minute to thank all of our great sponsors and all of our listeners and readers for supporting the skinny confidential him and her podcast. You guys are what keeps the show growing and you give Michael and I the drive to keep going. We really appreciate it and will continue to do our best to bring you guys entertainment and value on a weekly basis for free. So here's an easy way for you guys to show your love. Use our Amazon link to do all of your online shopping. It costs you guys nothing. All you have to do is go to my podcast one show page and click on killer deals above the show list. Then click the Amazon banner and go shopping.

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Audible. They're giving listeners a free audiobook when you sign up. I use Audible all the time. I really do. He's obsessed. And it's a great way to catch up on books when I'm on the go. All right, guys. Thanks for downloading, subscribing, and of course supporting.

Remember to send your questions into Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag ask him and her, send us questions, send us snaps, Lauren Everett's, Michael Bostick. Email us at podcast at the skinny confidential.com to be featured on our next show. Maybe we'll do Collins. Maybe soon. All right. Thanks, guys. All right, guys.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential him and her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at Podcast 1.com or subscribe now on the Podcast 1 app.