The Bossticks - #38: The Newlyweds Game, Fights, & Creating Valuable Content

Episode Date: November 22, 2016

Lauryn & Michael are back from Cabo! They discuss forgetting to get wedding bands, give a brief wedding recap, drinking the most tequila in the history of the resort they got married at, Michael's unknown-dance moves, playing Christmas music too early, the "Him & Her Tips of the Week," & they answer listener questions. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

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All right, let's get the show on the road. The following program is a podcast one.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cooking. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness.

Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. All right. All right, all right. Big, do you have to do that every time. Welcome back, guys. For those of you that don't know me, I am Lauren Everett's creator of the blog and brand, The Skinny Confidential. And I'm Michael Bostic, entrepreneur, internet marketer, no longer a bachelor, lockdown, game over.

Life over, everything over. Wear your ring, like your ball and chain. This ring feels like it's choking me. Yep, that's how I wanted. It's pretty tight. It's literally cutting off the circulation to his brain, which is ideal. Well, can we talk about how we, for the ring? forgot to get wedding bands.

I got mine at Rite Aid, which was totally fine. I thought it was really cute. I'm wearing a ring that my buddy made me a while ago. It was never supposed to be a wedding band, but I'm wearing that for now. What's creepy, though, is you wore it before we got married to as an engagement band, but the guy's not supposed to have an engagement band. Well, it's because it's the only finger that this ring fits on, and I like it. Okay.

That's the reason why can't you wear it on the other? Now I can't get it off for some reason. Before it was loosey-goosey. Now it's like, I feel like when you get married, it like locks around. your finger like a snake. I had it tightened when he was asleep. Jesus Christ, this thing is... You do need to get it a little lacer. It's so tight. I've never seen tighter. Your fingers like... What are you going to do, though? I hear girls like guys and wedding bands. I might be getting some unwanted attention. No, you're dead. Life's over. There's no more attention.

What's up with that? Why do girls like guys in wedding bands? I don't know. Maybe it's like, I feel like maybe they smell like a... Like we're stable? Yeah. Your face is looking so good right now. Well, after Cabo, I looked like a mummy that was dug up. You looked like an old prune. Yeah, I looked like I was been sleeping for a thousand years in the sand. And last night, I basically took a bath in rose hip oil. Is that what it's called? Rose hip hip hip.

You are so funny. Rose hip oil. He copies me on everything, but his skin looks amazing right now. I can't believe how good it looks. You're glowing. I'm glowing. You have that post-pregnancy or pre-pregnancy stuff. Must be the married life.

Must be just post-married glow. Yeah. Now you need to ice roll. Or maybe it's because the check has been written now for the wedding and it's done and I don't have to think about it anymore. So I'm not like super stressed. Yeah, probably. I don't know. As always, thank you guys.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for subscribing, listening and rating our podcast. We really appreciate the reviews and the messages on social media, or at least I do. I don't know if I could speak for my lovely wife over here. Oh, my God. If you guys have not rated or reviewed the show, please do so, even if it's a one star. you are in danger of being called a bridge troll if you do that. Michael. Just drop us a line.

Let us know how we're doing. Let us know how we can improve so that we can, you know, work on the show. Keep it going strong. Please, if you like the show, let your friends know so we can continue to grow this awesome community. Yeah, tell everyone. Before we get into the show, I just want to let you know I'm not wearing deodorant and we're sitting really close. And I have a clothes pin on my nose.

No, you don't. Because maybe when you get married, your B.O. also gets stronger. No. No. Now that you're my husband, you have to smell my B-O every day and get over it. We're only going to play up this married card, or at least I'm only going to do this episode. Then I'm done because I can't stand when couples do the like husband-wife, husband-wife thing over and over. It's like we get it. We got it. We don't want to make you guys projectile vomit.

All right. So we're back from Cabo. We got married. Let's tell them a little bit about it. A lot is going to be recapped on the skinny confidential. I'm just waiting on pictures, which is why it's taking so long. So stay tuned. I'm posting my looks today and throughout the next couple days on Instagram. I'll let you guys know when that's up on Snapchat. I don't know if this is something you congratulate people on or give a shout out on. What, Michael? I'd like to give a round of applause to our friends down there because as I was checking out of the hotel, I got hit with another bill. We got hit with another bill. He acts like it's all him.

Okay. Well, we got hit with another bill. And I was confused because we did the thing where you, you know, open bar, like whatever it is, you can just drink and drink and drink. and the hotel sat us down and said, listen, guys, we don't know how to say this, but in the history of Palmya in 25 years, we have never seen a group of people drink that many shots of tequila in the entire history of the resort. Now, this would be okay. This would be okay if we did the quintessential 500, 300, 200 person wedding. But no, our wedding was 55 people. Yeah, about 55, 60 people. Well, what happens with open bars, like they take the amount of people and they budget out how much they think they're going to need for those people.

And then they usually go over what they think because they don't want to run out. They told me that our friends and us and our family and our family. And I don't know what this says about us. Drink almost three times the estimated amount. And when they told me this, I was just like, you know what? All right. Here's the thing. Like if you're going to party and you're relaxed in Cabo, party.

I'm about balance. Like, let's have some fun. I was relaxed as hell, especially on Friday night. Yeah, we got married down in Palmia at the one and only. It's our favorite resort in the world, probably. I think it's our favorite resort. It's our favorite resort in the world because they legit put Xanax in the air. You get on the property and you're completely relaxed.

I've never seen you personally more relaxed. You're like, you're ready to go. You're ready to. Well, 6,000 shots of tequila will do that too. I mean, you are grabbing my butt every turn, weren't you? Yeah. I'm getting crazy. But yeah, so I'm proud of my friends.

I don't know if that's something to be proud of. You know, I'm not trying to promote, you know, drinking problem here. But I was just, I was proud that they showed up to party. And I, you know, I warned the resort. I said, listen, my friends are coming down, our friends. They like to party. And the resort said, okay, yeah, we get it. We throw lots of parties.

They go, no, you don't understand. My friends are coming down and they like to party. And after the whole hotel was buzzing, they were so surprised. Nobody went to the hospital. Some of our friends did end up in Cabo strip clubs after the parties. Taylor. Some of them, yeah. Some of them ended up in the cab without pants on. We're at like, it's supposed to be like a nice, you know, wedding party and people are in their suits and ties in the pool splashing around. Tables are being broken. I'm sorry, Palmia. People are

slipping and sliding. I think I went home that night wearing, I couldn't, I was in my, uh, tuxedo pants and my tuxedo shoes. I got thrown in the water with my phone. I think I went home that night with no shirt wearing my friend Jeff's right shoe while he was wearing his left shoe. Because you wouldn't get over the fact that you had no shoes on. So Jeff and I were trying to appease you and we're like, okay, Michael, you can wear one shoe and Jeff can wear one shoe. And you were so pleased about that. You were so happy that you got to wear one shoe. I hate not wearing shoes. You did take my garter off with your teeth. You were pretty good at that. You didn't bite me. Yep. And then I busted out some dance moves. I know we knew I had. Yeah, no one knew he had

dance moves, you guys. You were actually really good at dancing. Yeah, listen. You know, they say if you can't dance, you can't. What? Fuck? Yeah. I like to, uh, okay, Michael. Think that I can do both. That's really great. TMI. So yeah, we all ended up in the pool besides me, because I had clip and hair extensions and that wasn't happening. But I got to Snapchat it and your dad cantonballed in. My dad cannonballed in. It was fun. It was, our wedding was just one big party with every single person that we love. And it was really special and we just really wanted people to feel like they were on vacation. And I feel like that's accomplished. Yeah. They say that weddings go by fast. That thing went by super fast. I'm really happy with the way it came off. I was a little bit unsure.

I've never really liked going to weddings. And I'm not bashing anybody's wedding and not saying ours is great. I just, you know, I've never really, like, it's always been kind of a pain in the ass. So when we plan this, we said, listen, let's try to make it not so much about us and more about everyone sharing an experience and everyone having a party. And let's mix the white and make it all black, dark, egg plant,

gothic, long table. None of that round table bullshit. A wedding's supposed to be a celebration. Sometimes people overdo it with the ceremonies they put people to sleep. And I'm not attacking anybody or saying anything's bad. I'm just saying...

Our friend married us. Yeah, our friend married us. He was fucking great. He was amazing. I think we've talked about this. He's known us since we were 10. He married us. Everyone was drinking margaritas while we got married.

immediately after the ceremony, we did a champagne toast. Yeah, we walked back down the aisle after we married to hybrid moments by the misfits. Yeah, it was pretty sick. It was cool. You know, when you're planning a wedding, just think, you know, obviously you got to have the lovey-dovey stuff and you want to have the, you know, the family stuff. But, you know, keep in mind your guests and, you know. Everyone wants to have fun. Yeah, everyone wants to have fun.

So make sure it's not too stuffy because that's not fun. I would have never pulled the trigger either if we hadn't have put a deposit down because, like I say, it takes me a long time to wrap my head around stuff and I want it perfect. And I don't want to pull the trigger on anything until it's perfect, which is a problem. I probably would have married you and like, it was taking me 20 years. But nothing, nothing's ever perfect. We've talked about this before. And that's, but I have, that's my own issue. It would, it literally would have taken me another 20 years to marry. So I could have planned every detail. So you're lucky there was a deposit. One of our friends gave a speech and he said, we all knew,

Lauren and Michael were going to get married, didn't know it's going to take 15 years. It took a while. It took a fucking long time. You know what, though? Stay engaged, you guys, if you're engaged. There's no rush down the aisle. It's so fun to be engaged. Just enjoy it.

Like, don't you think? Yeah. We loved being engaged. And we talked about this a little bit. I don't remember if it was last podcast or the one before that. It was kind of a haze. But yeah, you got to do you. Don't worry about what other people are saying.

Don't worry about what other people think about your relationship. Don't worry about the timeline that society gives you either. Or your friends or your family. Yeah, just like I'm going to do what works for me. and I'm like, like my second grade teacher said, keep your eyes on your own paper. I remember the whole time when people would come up to us and say, like,

why aren't you doing this? Why aren't you doing that? I kind of just looked at them like they were aliens. Like, what the hell do you care? We want to do. Yeah. Okay, so we're back with one of my favorite sponsors, Soul Society. If you guys read the skinny confidential,

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No, I like, so we came back and I like doing yoga with you. Why? I don't know. I just like, well, I like physical activity. I think I like that other yoga better than the like chakra realigned like finder Zen yoga but what did I tell you yesterday um I said that you need the yoga that's a little bit slower pace as opposed to the hot sculpt yoga because the slower paced yoga allows you to be with your thoughts and be in your mind and and it allows you to be without your phone and any distraction and that's really powerful because you're working on your mind instead of just your body I don't know if I want to be alone with my thoughts in my mind why it's good for

you. I'm loving yoga lately because it allows me one hour with no social media, no distraction, no work, no you. You're a pest sometimes. This morning you were such a pest. I've never seen a best. Oh, I'm a pest. Yeah. So it allows me to be without the pest and I can just sit and think. And I swear to God, more blog post ideas and more ideas to improve my business or my relationships or whatever it is have come to me in yoga. No, I didn't used to be a fan. I think I just need to practice more. Yeah, it's a practice. Yeah. So, great. You can come next weekend. So, we're in the holiday season. You're playing Christmas music way too fucking early. No, I'm not. I'm obsessed with it. I just play Let It Snow. The rule is it can't happen until after Thanksgiving. Your dad made up that rule,

and I'm not going to do what society tells me. But that's a good rule because... No, I'm going to have my own rule. My rule is I start it when I want to start it. And Michael Boubley is on repeat, honey. So get over it. Can't wait. The dogs love it. Thanksgiving. this week after everything. Thanksgiving. Can't wait for the political debates around the Thanksgiving table. That'll be fun. I just like drink champagne in the corner and eat your grandma's noodles.

Oh my God. Thanksgiving, there's a lot of dynamics. We always say there's like the Ted talker, the honeydoer, and the person that's crying for attention. Like there's all different kinds of dynamics at the table. And you kind of have to. just go in with an open mind and accept the dynamics because everyone has them. We go to our parents' place. We go to my parents' place, her parents' place. There's always

somebody there that we have no clue who they are. Yeah, you always have one of those. Always. Yeah. There's all, and then there's always somebody that loses it. Always someone that loses it. It gets too drunk. Yeah, there's always different kinds of dynamics and you kind of just have to embrace it and go into it. Your dad makes us hold hands around the table and close our eyes. Michael. Which is awkward. I know he does. I always have to. I always have to. I always end up holding your brother's hand. It's awkward as hell.

We're like both looking at each other. We don't want to hold hands. I always peek an eye open, too. I feel like you're eating turkey when everyone's holding hands. No, but see, I would never do that at my table, but the rule is if you go to another man's table, it's his rules. Yeah, that is the rule. Thank God we're at your table, Brad, because it was mine, we wouldn't be holding hands.

Why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner for once? Why don't I not? What are you doing on Wednesday? You're so excited about it. I am? What am I doing Wednesday? Dax. Oh, yeah, yeah, we're watching the nephew, you know?

We're watching our nephew and our godson. Yeah, I'm the godfather. Oh, God. You guys, he walks around saying he's the godfather. So for Thanksgiving, my sister's coming down on Wednesday. We're going to do some cooking. We'll be Snapchating it. We're going to bake a pumpkin roll, which is our favorite.

If you haven't tried a pumpkin roll, Google it and make it for Thanksgiving. Everyone will love you. It's kind of hard to roll, but you love it. Yeah. It's one of your favorites. It's one of my favorites. I just tell him it's one of his favorites. You agree.

I'm not a big sweets guy, to be honest. Really? No. You don't like my pumpkin roll. No, it's all right. I mean, it's great. It's okay. It's not great.

It's okay. No, just kidding. That's from Cloverfield Lane. No, it's good. Oh, okay. I thought you loved it. So you're going to watch Dax. Have you seen John Goodman to Cloverfield Lane?

Yeah, I didn't love that movie. Okay. So after Thanksgiving, it's time for us to kind of hit the ground running with work. Back to reality. We've been distracted for two months. Yeah, it's time to get going again. I'm getting fired up. again. New Year's starting. No more crying. No more whining about the wedding. It's time to go.

Time to go. We have a couple exciting things coming up that we're excited to share with you guys. So we'll definitely be updating you on the podcast. We're going to get my dad on here next week. Right after this, we're jumping in the car, heading to L.A., then coming back the same day. We got a few meetings up there. And we're going to take Steve to dinner for his birthday. Yeah. So with that... Everyone loves Steve's by the way. Did you know that? Yeah, Steve's great. Steve's amazing. He's getting overwhelmed because people are reaching out to hire him and he's getting anxiety.

Yeah. Steve, just calm down. It'll be all right. Yeah, Steve, drink a shot of karma. Now that we're back on track, we can get the tips of the week going again. You can go first, honey. My tips, like, it's really simple this week. And it comes from my dad, who's been married to my mom for over 30 years.

I don't know how. I love both of them, but I don't know how they've been married so long. Wait, it's not weird to say. Why? It's a long fucking time. You're going to be married for 300 years. Okay, well, what he says goes something like this. Okay, when you absolutely have to say something, don't.

So like what you just said, you shouldn't have said that. No, no, no. This is what I'm giving the advice now. When you absolutely have to say something, don't. So when you're like during a petty fight, when you're in a fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you're screaming at each other, when you're having a bout of anger, if you're sad, upset and you're screaming and arguing with somebody, if you have to prove a point, if you have to prove somebody wrong, when you absolutely have to say something, don't.

More than likely, you're going to say something that makes the problem worse, hurts yourself, hurts the other person, makes you sound foolish. Instead, just take a deep breath, bite your tongue, relax. I need to take this advice a little bit more. You need to take the advice. No, you need to take the advice. Yeah, so I'm giving everybody out there. When you absolutely have to say something, don't.

That's my tip. All right. My tip is way cooler. We're going to talk about pumpkin. Okay, so a reader recently introduced me to pumpkin for the dogs. I'm talking about, like, pure organic canned pumpkin. You can buy it at like Whole Foods. So Pixie and Boone, my chihuahuas go crazy for it.

So make sure it's the canned pumpkin, like I said. It's loaded with fiber and the body converts it to vitamin A. Canned pure pumpkin is good for the dog's weight and urinary health, too. Just make sure you guys don't give them too much because it can be super toxic. You just want a couple teaspoons a day and you're golden. I like to put it on top of their food. Like I said, I buy BPA free cans from whole foods, tiny little scoop in their dish. You're good to go.

Sometimes I even let them lick a spoonful of the pumpkin after a walk and they go crazy. Yesterday, I took like a raw chicken treat and I coated it in pumpkin like a cupcake and gave it to them. And they just love me way more than Michael because of it. So try it. Yeah, that'll be the day. What? Those dogs are attached to my hip. All right.

My new pumpkin trick. Before we get into the questions, and I'm excited to get back into some questions from you guys, because it's been a couple weeks, we're going to take a quick break. What would happen if a well-known Chicago news anchor quit his job to drive a car for Lyft? What if he captured the real stories of the real passengers who ended up in the backseat?

And what would happen if he aired those stories in a weekly podcast? I'm Anthony Ponce, and I, did that. So download backseat rider at podcast one.com, the podcast one app, or subscribe at iTunes. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. We are back. Had to give the dogs a little pumpkin. So they like me better. Back, back, back again. All right, you guys, we have four questions today. Or three. Do we have four or three? I think we have three. Let's see how many we can get to before we have to jump out. You guys have been sending in the most amazing questions, by the way. We were going through them and we're like, wow, these are really, really good questions.

Yeah, there's some really good ones. We're going to, this one's going to, you know, a little bit more relationship this week still. We're going to do a couple of business. But next week will probably be a lot of marketing and business advice and blogging advice. All right. Question one. Would love to hear your tips on wedding planning from both you and Michael's perspectives. How did you plan the wedding, Michael?

Well, let me just take this off here as I started. Well, I don't know. Lawrence should probably lead this one in. Well, Michael didn't do shit, which is fine. because I didn't want him to do shit because I love, love, love to do everything myself. My tips on planning a wedding were to avoid Pinterest boards at all cost. I wanted our wedding to be anti-Pintrists, no mason jars, no macaroons, no wood tables, no filet, none of that.

I wanted just it to be 100% authentically us. So I didn't even look at Pinterest. I didn't look online. I just kind of had this vision of like this long, long, long table. with all my friends and family at it, with like black candles dripping wax down, kind of medieval, gothic, vampy. I wanted the main kind of theme to be the black cala lily,

which was on my invitation. So it kind of led you up to it. And basically I would say our wedding was just drama. That's what I wanted. Drama, different heights. And trust me. The only thing that I stayed completely out of the aesthetics and the looks and the design,

I didn't even come near that because I didn't want to get my head ripped off. And honestly, guys shouldn't be. too worried about that in my opinion. But what I did worry about was I worried about the food and the menu. I worried about the liquor, making sure everybody had enough liquor. They did. They did.

Barely. I made sure that, you know, I wanted the music that was important to me. And other than that, like... You didn't do anything other than that. I didn't do anything. And then I also made sure that we planned a hangover brunch the day after the wedding, which was fresh juices and we did like lavender

mimosas and lemon mimosas. I had like pancakes and chocolate waffles and eggs and all the kind of food you want to eat when you're hungover. I think it's really important to put yourself in the guest's shoes. So the next day, you know you're going to be hung over after a wedding. So you want to make sure, like, you're doing something for them, whether that's a little goody bag that they take home that has like a hangover remedy in it. I just always am thinking how I would be if I were the guest. This is for a destination wedding, though. A destination or a normal wedding. You can,

you can give a little goody bag as they leave. I think it's also really, important to be self-aware. No one wants to see like a 48-minute first dance. Like, let's get it quick. Let's do a good song. Let's get to the point. I was already half blacked out during our dance. You don't say. Yeah. My ass was grabbed about 600 times. Yeah, it was a, well, we'll have to watch the playback. Yeah. We'll give you guys video. But I just think it's really important to be self-aware during the wedding. Like the ceremony doesn't need to be three years long. Make it funny. Make it light. Make it loving. Like, get to the point, people want quick. No one wants to sit there for 500 hours. And, you know, some people don't want to sit in the sun either. And if they're going to be sitting somewhere, get them a drink.

Just think of things that you would want and make sure it's implemented into your wedding, like tiny little details. Well, I think this goes for anything, too, not just weddings, but your business, your brand, when you're marketing, when you're selling something. So many times people make the mistake of thinking about themselves and what they want. And they make the huge mistake of not thinking about what the consumer or the guests or the partner or the employee. We totally thought of our guests as consumers. No, but I, people, people get a little bit, they get self-absorbed and they stop thinking about what other people want.

And I think that's when you run into problems with anything. And we get it. It's your wedding. It's your wedding. It's your wedding. We get that. However, I think that when everyone has fun, it enhances your wedding. So it ends up really working for you and your, you know, mate.

Yeah. No, if people aren't having fun, they're going to be downers. you're going to feel bad and then you're going to be looking around at your five-course meal and your three-hour long ceremony. You'd be like, shit, maybe we shouldn't have done it this way. I don't think anyone wants the five-course meal personally. You guys might disagree with me. For my guests, it wasn't on brand for my guest to have a five-course meal. They wanted tacos, they wanted guacamole. They wanted really good margaritas with a ginger rim. They wanted, you know, quick dessert. No one wanted to watch us, cut the cake. Shoot me.

This might be offensive to some people that have done it this way. I get it. I get it. But I'm more trying to caution people that haven't done yet just to really consider these things. Because I've been to weddings and now we've had a wedding. So I'm speaking from some kind of experience. Really think about your guests. Think about providing everybody a really good time. Think about not wasting people's time. No, we didn't.

Our speeches had a limit. Like don't go like longer than like two minutes. Get to the point. And I think that we just really created a wedding that was very on brand for our guests. So keep that in mind. All right, guys, so we want to take a second to tell you guys about another amazing sponsor coming into the holiday season, Movement Watches. You guys know we love them. If you follow us on Snapchat, they're super affordable and super chic. And they have over 500,000 watches sold to customers in 160 countries around the world, super popular on social media. I'm sure you guys have seen them everywhere. So the holidays can be tough, especially with shopping. Thanks to Movement Watches, all gift giving. anxiety can disappear with the press of a button. Don't you love them? No, I love them. And they're really

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Question two. Do you guys ever fight? No, we never fight. Of course we fight. What the hell? Every couple of fights. If they tell you they don't fight, they're lying. Well, if they don't fight, that's boring.

Makeup sex is like the best thing ever. I love a good fight. Yeah, that's the biggest thing is right when we get in a fight, I think a few days later, I was like, hmm, that's going to be some good makeup. I just wonder how long I should drag this fight out. The longer you drag it out, the better it is. I think with fights, though, yeah, we fight, of course. We live together.

We've been together for a long time. we work together. So fights are going to rise. Yeah, Lauren's very dramatic, so we've got to play that. I would say fighting is healthy and it's okay as long as it doesn't cross the line of being malicious, where you're trying to hurt the other person. Lauren and I do our best to not cross the line and actually hurt each other. We argue, we bicker.

But we've had our big blast out fights. Like don't. Oh, yeah, for sure. But when you're fighting with somebody, don't go below the belt. Don't try to pull punches out that, you know, hurt something. When you're with somebody, you kind of know the buttons that push them the best. You know how to push their buttons the best. And try not to push those buttons because you can end up doing some serious damage or relationship.

So when you're fighting with somebody, understand like, okay, is this a healthy fight or is this an unhealthy fight? And if it's unhealthy, you've got to really question the relationship. I think fighting's great. I mean, I love, I think you have to fight to love. I mean, right? Don't you think? You must love me a lot. Yeah, I think you need a little fight every once in a while.

I also think it releases energy. I think when you have pent up energy and you're upset about something, a fight can release that. And I love a good release. So I believe that the one thing that you should really consider when you're getting into a fight is what I've been doing lately is I step out of it. Like I'll go take a yoga class or I'll go, you know, take a walk or I'll go call a friend. I'll get out of the fight so I can gain perspective to come back with a really good rebuttal.

Well, I think that's important. Yeah, you're looking for the rebuttal. For all the men out there, let me just say this. Even if you win the fight, you lose. Yeah, just I don't understand. What did you say in your vows about yes dear? I said I was going to start one of my vows. I said I'm going to start taking English classes again to learn the words yes, dear.

For some reason, I have trouble putting those two together in a sentence. Yeah, it's not that hard. Yes, dear. No, but I think in any fight, whether it's your, with your spouse, or your friend or your partner, employ, whatever it is, you got to do your best, in my opinion, to look at it from the other person's point of view. I try to do that as much as I can.

I'm not always the best, but if I'm fighting with Lauren, I try to look, okay, she thinks she's looking at this problem from her eyes this way, and I'm looking at it from my way. And when you can do that and kind of step in the other person's shoes and see their perspective, a lot of the time it takes the wind out of yourselves and you don't feel like fighting as much. I think it's understanding and coming to a compromise,

And I say compromise. Why are you thinking of me? Don't pinch me. I'm not pinching you. I think compromise is important. It can't always be one person's way or the highway. It has to be a compromise. It has to be a partnership.

You've got to come to a middle ground. Yeah. And by the way, if you guys are asking what we fight about, I would say the number one thing Michael and I fight about is that we're both very dominant. You don't say. We have very strong opinions. Mine usually wins.

No, you're dealing with two type A personalities. Type A in different ways, though. Yeah, type A in different ways. But I think sometimes people who know us well looking from an outside end, they would say, oh, wow, these guys really get after it. But it's just the way we communicate. Sometimes it's not. We can, no, we are so intense.

And then we move on very quickly. That's another thing we do. Like, if we're upset at each other, we are able to move on very quickly. And people think that some people think that some people, People might think that's strange. People will be like, but you guys were just, like, had a huge blowout. And we're like, no, we're fine. Don't hold on to grudges.

And here's the thing. If you have gotten in a fight and you've made up and apologized, don't later on, go back and bring up that same fight. You're wasting everybody's time. You're wasting your time. You're wasting whoever you're fighting with time. If you say sorry and you move on from something, don't go back. Little things we fight about are you're not taking your shoes off in the house.

It's not that hard. Like, literally the only thing you have to do is take your shoes off in the house. He continues to walk on the carpet with his shoes. I continue to put the carpet cleaners on your credit card. And what else's little things we fight about? We fight about... Time. Efficiency.

Being on time. Efficiency. We fight about... Michael likes a very strict plan. Like, what a bore. And I'm more like, go with the flow, see what happens kind of person. Like, my favorite thing is when I lay out a plan and we execute on it. And it's like...

say we're traveling or something, and it's just like, and I map it out and time it, and it nails the time. I get so pumped up on it. What a bore. We also fight about, what else do we fight about? Me, maybe on my phone. Computers in bed. Computers in bed. Um, other than, like, what?

Like, what? Like, I feel like, what else? No, we've got, I think we've gotten better over the years. We had a blowout about a week ago. It was like a fun one, though. It was not a fun one. It was. Let's just tell the story.

We're supposed to sleep in other rooms the night before the wedding. And so Lauren got me another room and I got a room and she got a room, right, before the wedding. And she leaves in a golf cart and she's, you know, we've had a couple drinks at this point. You don't say. And she loses her mind and like. No, because I thought that you had left me at the bar the night before our wedding. But you literally left the bar. I know, but that's why it's funny because I was actually so she goes over high hell searching for me,

searching around the hotel yelling after me. I was hiding behind a tree at one point because we're not supposed to see each other. She was looking from my room. My friend CJ saw her coming. He dove into the bushes, was hiding from her. Eventually. No,

I was on a mission. And here's the thing. I was wearing a gold dress like Sharon Stone and Casino with a ponytail. And I was just feeling like, I was feeling myself. I was feeling like a vixen, like a psycho. And I needed to like embrace the character.

So long story short, you're not supposed to sleep with the, your soon to be wife before the wedding. We more than slept together that night before. We failed. We didn't need those two rooms. We failed. Whatever, though.

We like to do things non-traditional. So you guys know I spend a ton of time researching beauty with the skinny confidential. Talk the good, the bad, the ugly, the trends, the colors, what works, what doesn't. We get into it. Anyway, today I'm super excited to bring back BeautyCon box. Now, why I love this box is because it's quick. You guys know I love quick, efficient. Basically, it's $150 worth of product for $30.

There's nothing better than that. It's a subscription box. I love a good subscription that delivers straight to your door each season. As you guys know, some of the favorites in the box are the flutter lash and the of liquid lipstick, which I wore in Cabo a lot. They've been in my makeup bag all throughout our wedding. The lipstick was really giving me life at the pool. Okay, so you save $20 if you sign up for the annual payment plan.

This means you can pay the total cost of the entire year in boxes. If you're more of a seasonal girl, you can pay each month for the box and shipping cost. Check out beautycon.com slash box to sign up today. And of course, we have a discount code for you guys. Box buzz for 20% off. Okay, third question. How do you turn your ideas for blog posts into rich content with a purpose? And how should you decide what your purpose or call to action is in the beginning?

The call to action is great, but I don't fixate on the call to action. I think that I'm starting to see where bloggers are going wrong is they're fixating on the call to action, the sale, the transaction. I think that it's important to write a blog post thinking of the person that's reading it in mind. So for instance, if I'm writing about what I'm wearing, like there has to be more meat to it. I need to, and I've said this before, I need the reader to leave with some kind of value. other than what my outfit is. So every blog post I write, I try to write in a way that gives back to the reader. And it doesn't always have to be a call to action or a transaction or something that makes

them buy some things. I like just giving people value and information without asking for anything in return. Where I get uncomfortable is, and I've talked about this in the past, is like two years ago I had to do a sponsored post and it was way too selly. and it made me really uncomfortable to the point where I was a miserable cow. Like, I don't like asking, asking, asking, asking from the readers. I like to give, give, give. And then, like, my cell phone case company came out,

and I really spent a lot of time creating each cell phone case for the reader in mind. And I'll present that, but I don't want to push it on them. Well, here's, in my opinion, here's the biggest problem. A lot of people are looking for a purpose of their content for themselves. like the purpose to serve themselves. I think the best content and the content that does the best and lasts the longest and engages people the most is purpose to help whoever the reader or end user of that content is. And if I would to do a post or a blog post, I would purpose my content to try to help somebody

else give them value without any expectation of getting value back for myself immediately. I think a lot of times, you know, people try to write content that's going to get. give them an immediate benefit right off the bat. And I think that's the wrong way to do things. It's just like when you write a book. You don't write a book just for yourself. You write a book for, you know, to serve somebody else. And so I think when you're purposing your content, you have to ask yourself two questions.

First, how is this content going to help somebody else? And second, how am I going to get this content in front of that person so that it can help them? Yeah. So that plays into the marketing thing. I think that there's really, really great content right now and just not. mediocre content. And I think what's going to start to happen is that the people that are writing content for the right reasons and providing value are going to kind of go higher, higher, higher. And the people that are writing content just for a sale or just for themselves are just going to kind of

stay at the bottom. Well, we've gotten, you know, with the internet, it's gotten very, very transactional. People are looking for the immediate return on investment, the immediate sale, the immediate, you know, the ROI. And I think that a lot of people, are getting away from branding and they're getting away from creating real value. And we talked about this a lot. When you're starting out, don't be so fixated on creating content that's going to help you. Focus on creating content that's going to help others. And if you think like that, for free. And if you think like that, you know, don't sell your ebook. Don't sell your, you know, your plan. Don't sell your product. Just think about what content's going to help somebody out. And if you think like that for a year, two years,

it'll end up paying off. The problem is, is people get impatient, and they start purposing their content to help them and only them, and people can see that and they can smell that, and then it turns them off. So when you're, when you're purposing your content, think about the end user. And as for the call to action, think of a call to action that's going to get that user's attention where they feel like they're going to get some value for themselves, and it's not a value for you. I totally agree with you. I saw something that was so smart the other day that Kim Kardashian did. And I think that this kind of plays into this question. So Kim Kardashian does a really good job of providing free content in ways that people don't see that that shows value. So on her app, she provides a lot of, I think,

I think it's $2.99 a month, but she provides a lot of content. And then once she provides that content, she uses that to propel herself to launch a product. So the other day I saw she provided a free video of how she does her makeup. It was her at home. It was 10 minutes. She's in her bathroom. She's doing her makeup, she's showing us all the products she uses, and she's giving us free content that just shows exactly what she's using. And then, if you catch it in the video, she says that she puts highlighter on. And then what she says is so smart, and this is, I think this is strategic of her, is she says, you know, I'm not going to show you guys what highlighter I'm using, because something's in the works, and I'm really excited to show you. And she moves on to the next

product. So to me, that shows that she's about to launch a highlighter line for makeup. And I think Kylie Jenner is the same way. What she did, you know, on Snapchat with her, with her makeup is she basically showed us all these different tips and tricks for makeup. And then she launched her product. So the Kardashians are really smart in the sense that they give a lot of free value and tips and tricks. And then they'll launch something. People forget that the formula is give, give, give, give, give, and then ask without expectation, without expecting to get something back. You know, people get mad because they give, give, give, give, and they ask and nobody gives anything back.

that's the market, right? Like, if people don't decide to give something back, that, that's, you can't get upset about that. The formula is still give, give, give, give, give, and then ask. And hopefully when you ask, you, get something back. And if you don't move on and start give, give, give, give again until it works. That's how it is. And I see, and I say this a lot, I see a lot of top bloggers not answering questions or responding to emails. My number one priority for the day is to respond to my emails, to respond to my comments, to talk to the readers and, and the people that like the skinny confidential on Snapchat and Twitter and engage. And it's not because I feel like I have to do it. It's because that's what I love. I love to engage and, and it's not about making a

transaction or making a sale. It's just about providing value and engaging. All right, you guys, we got to three questions. We will save the other question for next week with my dad. I can't wait. That should be interesting. Yeah, my dad's fun. Make sure you guys send in your questions to Instagram or Twitter using the hashtag Ask Him and Her or email us at podcast at the skinny confidential.com. And have a happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Eat a lot of turkey, a lot of cranberry sauce.

Drink champagne. Don't get into too many arguments with family members. Oh, God. Don't get into too many political debates. All right, guys. Check you next time. We're out. Thanks for listening to the Skinny Confidential, Him and Her, with Lauren Everts and Michael

Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcast.1.com. or subscribe now on the Podcast One app.