The Bossticks - #4: Working With Your Significant Other, Managing and Delegating, Defining Roles, Jet Lag, and Eating Healthy, #askhimandher Episode 4

Episode Date: March 29, 2016

On this episode we talk about How to work with a significant other, managing and delegating, defining roles, jet lag and adjusting to different time zones. We also give the rundown on how to get your partner to eat healthy, and working through parts of your business that you loathe. This episode covers a lot of ground.  To learn more about The Skinny Confidential visit the site HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE

Hello everyone and welcome back to episode four of the skinny confidential him and her podcast. It's me Michael Bostic, your main host for the day. And we are ready to launch. We are climbing the ranks of the business category podcast. What are we hitting today? Number 40 in the world. 40 in the world. I am gunning for number one.

Get ready to get out the way. I feel like we're going to go down, though, after that radio voice that you just presented. We dropped 10 points. That just raised us. I'm probably at 30 now. We're back. Lauren Everett's here from the Skinny Confidential. We got Jordan, Bostick.

She is on the question. She made it on camera for the first time. Finally, now everyone knows I'm not a myth. I exist. So if you're listening and you're driving in your car, you'll have to check out the YouTube video because you can finally see Jordan. Unfortunately, Taylor did not get to make a cameo.

He's still in the background. We still have him hidden. He's eating pretzels. Crunching away. Yeah, hopefully you don't hear him crunching. Yeah. Well, let's talk more about YouTube. We just recently, for those of you who just only listen, or those of you who have not been

able to listen, we put it now on YouTube. Every episode is on YouTube. We film every episode on camera, and then we pull the audio and put it on iTunes for the podcast. No editing. There's no editing. We just go through the whole thing, right? It's quick.

Yes. Right? No, yes. In the very first episode, we had to redo the whole thing because Lauren came in like Barbara Walters. No, I didn't. That's not true. halfway through. She goes, cut, cut. No, I didn't. And I said, what the hell are you talking about?

There is no cuts. We're in the middle of the show. I thought we could edit a couple of things. But we can't. So anyways, if you go on YouTube, we're looking for some interaction there. We will start responding to the comments. So you can also ask your questions there. Also, really important to subscribe. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. We got, we're on iTunes to subscribe to you. You want to follow us along on Twitter using the hashtag, ask him and her to send your questions in and then rate us and review us. And we will be so happy. We are really pushing this podcast.

It's really important to us. It would mean the world if you subscribe. And if you give a bad review, make sure you take a picture of your face so that I can take it seriously. Because if not, I assume you are just a bridge troll hiding under a bridge. Okay. All right. And we are ready to get into the show. How about this weekend?

What do we do? We went to L.A. I'm starting to hate L.A. more and more every time I go there. Yeah. You are the worst in traffic. Like, I've never seen worse. you complain the entire time we're in traffic as if the traffic's going to magically go away. LA traffic is bad though.

It is horrible. LA traffic is the worse and it's getting worse. I don't know where everyone's going. I don't even think they know where they're going. I mean, it's insane what's happening over there. We could do an Uber helicopter. Have you heard about that? You can Uber a helicopter?

Yeah, we can do that a couple times and then I will also be living under a bridge. So we went to L.A. We went to a bridal event, which we did. interesting. I still am not like fully into the wedding thing. I can't get into the dress thing. I tried one on and it just was like you can't even take me seriously. You're laughing. Well it was it was rough because we were, we were in front of the designer and she brought me in and said how does this look and to me she looks not ideal. No it's just it when you say not ideal that makes you sound like a dick which you definitely are sometimes but I it was more of like

an umbrella that was like covering my entire body. It was like it was like it was like it was like pretty dreadful. It just, it just wasn't, it wasn't what we're going for, I don't think. No, it wasn't what we're going for. Wasn't what I'm going for. What are you going for? Tell everyone what you're going for so everyone can know what you like. Like something that has a little bit of sex appeal. You like fitted, like backless. Okay. I mean, what guy doesn't? He's very opinionated when it comes to that. So maybe we'll put a wedding dress on him and I can micromanage him. So, so we went and we did the bride thing on Friday for like five minutes. We hung out with Stanley. We hung out with Stanley. Stanley's a giraffe at Malibu.

Farms. No, Malibu Wines. We went to Malibu Farms after. I get him confused. Yeah. Stanley lives with a llama, right? No, a camel. Okay, I get a llama.

We're not on a farm and we are not with llamas. We're in Malamu wines and it is a camel. A mean camel. It wasn't a mean. But it is kind of a farm because there's a giraffe. Like... It's more of a ranch. Okay.

The giraffe's tongue was literally as long as Michael's leg. Like, it was this... It was creepy. It was a little creepy. It was creepy, but you wanted to just look at it. It creeped me out. It was just like this really like, it was like a snake that like came out of its mouth. It was so much longer than I would have expected.

Like you would picture a giraffe tongue. It is, imagine that times 10. Like it is long. Yeah, it was a long tongue. We had, um, I mean, what did you, what do you expect? I mean, the neck is, the neck's like eight feet tall. Why would you expect it to have a small tongue? I don't know.

The tongue was just like really, really. really insane. Anyways, that's the whole different subject. We're really nailing some topics right now. Okay. We didn't even mention that it's Michael's birthday today. It's Michael's birthday. I'm pretty much dead. Happy birthday. One year closer to death.

What I got for Michael today as a little like stocking stuffer birthday gift for the morning was an eyebrow brush. So he can brush his eyebrows up because for the last 29 years of eyebrows have been brushed down. So he can finally be awake on his 29th. Apparently I look like I've been asleep for the last 29 years. But I'm not here. Every guy needs these guys. See, you guys got to watch the YouTube channel because I'm showing it to the camera.

It's this little eyebrow brush. You can get it on Amazon. I got a pack of 50 and I'm giving them out to all my guy friends for their birthday. I just feel like I'm doing something really nice. Before the show, Lauren was going around brushing everyone's eyes. Taylor may need a couple. Oh, Taylor's waving his eyebrow brush around in the back as you guys could see him.

So yeah, that was the starter of the birthday. And then tonight we're going to do a dinner for Michael with his big. with his parents and his sister and her boyfriend. And with that, we'll get off that topic and go into the show. No, he why don't you want to talk about your birthday? Let's get into the show. Jordan, take us away. Okay.

So, anti-birthday. We have some great questions. If you want to send in questions, send them on Twitter using hashtag ask him and her. And we will pick the best ones. So let's get right into it. Well, now you can also comment on the YouTube videos

and we'll look at her questions there. I have Danny and Taye and Taylor. combing the comments and I'll be responding and so we'll learn and then you can also anytime you can you can you can snap us in questions too Lauren and I like when we get some Snapchat interaction we love Snapchat interaction but I never want to screenshot the comments because I feel like I look like a creep I don't mind looking like a creep at all I will screenshot okay well Michael you've been screenshoting you've been sending emailing me so yeah so if you send me a Snapchat question I will screenshot it

and send it to Jordan and you're just a long creep yeah and I'm a creep okay all right okay first question at Ev Castilejo, hopefully I'm saying that right. She asks, hey, Lauren and Michael, how do you work with your boyfriend slash girlfriend? What do you think is important in order to avoid ruining the relationship? Ooh, ah, ooh. How honest do we want to get? Wow, you're going to let me start.

Go ahead. The first. I think that if you're going to work together, you have to constantly remember it's like a dance. So when you dance with someone, like if you're going right, the other person has to go left. So working together is like a constant dance. I mean, Michael and I, he's more focused on the business end. I'm more on the creative side, so it works really well. However, that does not mean that we haven't had our disagreements, our fights.

In fact, I would say like 95% of our fights are about business. You know, I'll make him dinner and he comes home and we're still talking about business. You have to learn to shut it off. And it's been a work in progress. And from there, I'll let you take it off how it's been a work in progress. I think the question is about how to protect a relationship working together, right? And I think the number one thing that needs to happen when you're going to work with your significant other and you're going to run a business together is you need to define your roles.

So I know when Lauren's being creative, I'm not going to step into that creative process and start giving my direction. Because that's going to be a huge mess. I'm not the creative behind this. I'm creative in other ways, more on the business side. So as long as you define roles, it'll be fine. Basically, you need to say, look, if I'm responsible for, say, the financial side of this business, Lauren stays out of that. She lets me handle it.

I mean, she knows what's going on. I bring her up to date, but she stays out of it. If Lauren's involved in the creative side and she's responsible for design or whatever else goes into that process, I'm out of that process. You do summaries. You'll give me a summary. Yeah, I'll give feedback, she'll give feedback, but we stay out for the most part of roles that are not our responsibilities. I think that's step one. Lauren's not just begging you to jump into QuickBooks every day?

Yeah, no. That's QuickBooks. Yeah. I think step two is you really need to define a space where business is not being talked about or how to, you know, I have a rule. Sometimes Lauren doesn't listen to the rule, which leads to some arguments, where there's no computer in bed. I mean, I think the bed is a space where it's meant for two things, sleeping and sex, really. Like, you know, there's no, there shouldn't be work in there. If you bring work into your bed, you're going to have a huge problem.

What about cutting with the dogs? It takes the intimacy out of the bedroom. Yes, it does. It definitely takes the intimacy out of the bedroom. So I would have boundaries if you're going to work together and just know that it is a work in progress. You will not get it perfect right away. It takes a lot of patience, time, effort. I think like anything, practice makes perfect.

Keep practicing it. Keep doing it. And you'll start to really know how to dance and what ticks the other person off and what doesn't and how to handle them. And just be kind and have respect. Do you think that people also have to kind of like not take everything personally when it's related to business?

Oh, we have a huge issue with this because, you know, I speak very bluntly. And I think, you know, even with Taylor, I've told him multiple times. I said, hey, when I'm doing business, don't take any of this personally. Business is personal, but it's never a personal attack on somebody. I'm just trying, when I'm doing business,

I'm trying to get from point A to B in the most effective way possible. And sometimes, you know, motions are flying high that business is an intense sport, probably the most intense sport in the world. And, you know, sometimes people's feelings get hurt,

but you can't take everything personally in business. If you do, you're going to set yourself up for failure. You're going to set yourself up for a rough time. I mean, you know, you guys both know. I can be intense. I mean, you know. That's the understatement of the year. All right.

Well, moving right along. What's the next question, Jordan? At Adulting Daily asks, Michael and Lauren, what are your tips on how to adjust to different time zones while traveling, especially if your flight is early in the morning? I'll let you go first on that one. Well, for me, I look at traveling. Like, I consider myself a professional travel. Like, I get into the zone. I don't know if any of you have ever seen one on Snapchat.

But when I go, I go. Like, I don't know what it is, but I get like an adrenaline rush going to the airport. Like, I'm about to go in the arena. I think you just got to let your, you just got to tell yourself, look, this is the reality of the situation. We just took a flight to New York. We took the red eye. And when we landed, we had to go right into work, right? I mean, we landed at 6 a.m. there, which is 3 a.m. our time.

And we had to just, we didn't have time to sit down and relax. I mean, she had a gig. We had to go right into work. at about eight that day. So we had to get to the hotel and trust me, she was grumpy. Yeah, I'm very, I'm very grumpy if I don't get my sleep. I believe sleep is the key to everything. Beauty, just everything. I feel like it cures everything. So I need my sleep. So time zones are weird for me. We had to work, I think we had to work a 14 hour day after we got off the red eye. The point though, right? Didn't you guys do two in a row? Yeah, we did.

The point is, is what I always tell her, like, in the hardest thing is if she's complaining about the time zone. I always say, hey, look, we're in this situation. We're both in it. This is the reality. We don't really have an option. We can't get some sleep. Like, I can't land somewhere and say, you know, we're used to California time. Just accommodate us. Wait, let's tell the Paris story. Remember the Paris story? Michael took me to Paris when we first started dating. And I had never been, I don't think I ever been to Paris. And he takes me there and I thought I could beat Jetleg. I was fine. And remember you and your dad were like, get up. Well, let's talk about, let's, let me circle back to the question and let's talk about how to beat jet lag.

Well, finish the story. Well, I will. I'm going to. Okay. So, when you land in a new place and it's a different time zone, the worst thing you can do is give in to your home time zone. Meaning, if you land in Paris and you're tired and they're nine hours ahead, he does this all the time.

Do not go and take a nap in the middle of the day because what's going to happen is, it's going to have a lag time effect and you're going to be screwed for days. So what I do whenever I land in a new city and I'm tired, I, I get up and I take a walk. I could be walking for miles, but as long as I'm adjusting to that time zone, it's fine. So anyways, Lauren decided that she did not believe in jet lag, and that jet lag was not a real thing. I thought it was fake.

And so she decided to take a few naps. I went off and took my walks. I was fine. And about three days into the trip, she goes, I'm fine. Everything's fine. I don't feel anything. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Day four, five, and six, you were like a nocturnal bat.

I was so tired We might as well not even been on the trip We might as well not have been on the trip I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open And I'm one of those people that has to be woken up like a cat I need to be pet I want a water a coffee I need slow Basanova waking up

I want my candles lit When I'm jolted awake I'm like a serpent I want to eat your face off Have you guys ever heard that like Drinking helps I've heard this thing that like when you go to a new place.

Yeah, like the first night you get there, you just drink a lot and then you sleep it off and you wake up on whatever. I actually don't think that's true because if you remember Jordan, me and you went to Spain a few years ago and decided to go out till five in the morning. Jordan. And Jordan came out to help me with Jetbed and we were working a convention in Switzerland. And we decided that, hey, we're just going to drink and stay on time zone and adjusts. And we were a mess.

That actually, okay, yeah. So we've actually learned that. the hard way you're right now my memory is coming back but anyways to to get to the to get to the root of the question is you have to power through it you have to make you have to make your body adjust you cannot you cannot get into it you just you just have to tough through it and like recognize that this is the reality of the situation that you're in a different time zone time doesn't change for you and just power through it I mean it takes a lot of discipline and willpower or do what I do and just sleep hold on till my mic okay okay okay next question

Okay, next question is from Julianne Beard, and she asks, how do you eat healthy while living with someone who isn't into it? My hubby is into like boxed mashed potatoes every day. I'll make a super nutrient-packed tasty meal, and he's iffy about it. Do you ever have this issue with Michael? Lauren? Michael, like, did not eat vegetables when I first started eating. Which is really interesting to me because he has really great skin.

and hair and nails, but he didn't eat vegetables. Genetics. I don't know. But he didn't eat any vegetables. So what you have to do, and I have a chapter about this in my book, is you have to manipulate them in eating the way you want them to. And I do this in a lot of different ways, not just with eating. But let's start with like a green juice.

So I would wake up and make a green juice, drink it down, and like talk about how amazing it was and how full I felt and my skin was glowing. and oh, this is so good, it's so great. I would walk around the house. I would let the dogs try it. And I would really just talk about how amazing I felt. So then he said, well, let me try a sip. And he tried a sip.

And he, oh, I could drink that. And he thinks he's all manly because he can drink a green juice. And then the next day, I poured him a little cup. And then from there, he's drinking a cup. And then I would say, wow, you're getting all your greens in one drink. You're so great. Like, he was the all-star of the show. So now he thinks that he has to have his daily green juice and he loves it, right?

You love it. Yes, but I'll add to this becoming, it's a little bit more to that. I think men don't operate so much on emotion as much as women do. I'm not saying that to be controversial. Men are just maybe don't. More logical. They're more logical thinkers. I think if you point out the benefits that this will have on him and not to do it for you,

I think he would do it. Like, I know every morning, like, Sometimes those green juices or those apple cider drinks, these apple cider drinks Lauren makes literally taste like pee in a jar. No, they don't taste like pee, they're amazing. Anyways, but I drink it. I drink it down. I drink the pee jar.

No, you don't drink the pee jar. You are absurd. But I know that there's a nutritional benefit for me to drink this thing, and I know somebody else is making it for me. So I look at it as like, why the hell would I not drink it? Even if I do have to rough through it a little bit, like, I'm down. It's just like going to the gym. Like, you know, sometimes I don't want to go to the gym,

but I know it's good for me, so I'm going to go, right? My boyfriend Nico is actually really, really hesitant for this kind of stuff. And if your boyfriend is super hesitant, like what I've noticed is work for me is all, and starting with the green juice or green smoothie is the easiest because it's the morning. It's like, everybody likes smoothies. So I'll make it and I'll just leave it for him. And I'll just, as I'm leaving, hey, I left you a green juice in the fridge. And every time he drinks it when I'm not there.

It has to be their idea. It has to be their idea. And also if your husband's eating box mashed potatoes, I don't even know. Mac and cheese. What are boxed mashed potatoes in? Okay, what I would do for that is I would make a fresh baked potato and say, wow, this is so nice to eat the earth's vegetables instead of a box full of sodium and GMOs. I'm loving this real potato and eat your real potato in front of him and smile while he eats his disgusting chemical filled boxed potatoes. Yeah.

But if he wants some box potatoes here and there, look the man have his boxed potatoes. No, no. Don't take it away. Maybe trash it. There's a lot of things to get trash it. Okay, did we answer that? Yes. Okay.

Next question. Next is from at Aaron McKell. And she asks, how do you keep yourself accountable when working on the difficult parts of starting a new business that you load? Hmm. Do you want to go?

Do you want me to go? You can go. Okay, first, if you're going to start a new business and you're going to take response for the business, like you're the owner, you're the CEO, whatever your position is, and that's your business, there is inevitably going to be some things about that business that you don't like. You may love the overall business, say that I want to put out iPhone headphones, and that's my

passion, and that's what I'm going to do. I love the concept. I love the business. But inevitably, in any business, there's things like accounting, and there's things like balance sheets, and there's things, there's advertising, and there's employees, and there's HR, and there's, you know, a million other things, you're probably not going to like every aspect. So first, if you're just starting out and you don't have the capital to hire a lot of people and you know that you're not going to like something, you have one of two options. Either bring on a partner or a co-founder that does like that. In Lawrence's case, I like the financial side of it.

I like the business side of it. So I came on and took on that role. Or you need to really just understand that this is a reality of getting the business done. you need to suck it up and just like when we started jetbed, I did not like the quickbook side that I don't like doing the count, but I had nobody else. There's just me in the office. So I just had to buckle down. I hired a part-time bookkeepers who came in and helped me learn the stuff. And now I actually kind of like it, but you just got to recognize that just because you don't like something doesn't mean it doesn't need to be done. You have to either bring on a co-founder, bring on an employee

and delegate to it. And when I say delegate, that doesn't mean just offload a task. It means like over-the-shoulder delegation, or you need to buckle down and do it yourself. I mean, that's just how it is. First of all, I don't like to do anything I love. I don't like to be uncomfortable. I don't like to do anything I hate. I like to be very comfortable. I'm just weird like that.

Well, I guess that's not weird, but I always, I don't like to do things that I'm not good at or that I hate. And so I'm a huge fan of delegation, and I'm a huge fan of focusing on your strengths all the time. And that gets me in trouble sometimes because sometimes you gotta do shit you hate. But so my advice would just be to really, really focus on your strengths, but at the same time, make sure you're delegating like you said over the shoulder to your employees or an assistant or someone that can do it really well. But if you're just doing an overall job that you hate, I would recommend getting the hell out of there and stop doing anything that you

every single day because I'm telling you anything that you hate doing day after day after day will end up a big fucking mess. No, I said this yesterday on Snapchat. I said, if you're waking up on Monday morning like, oh shit, it's Monday, then you need to quit what you're doing and do something else. We bounced out of bed today. We got our podcast today. We're so excited to connect with you guys in this different medium.

And we both bounced out of bed and we're so excited to do a podcast. And I think Jordan, you're the same way. Yeah. Jordan loves what she does. Taylor's so excited. He's asleep right now. I'm just kidding. But we really, really love what we do. So we both woke up on, or we wake up every Monday with vigor and excitement and ready to conquer the day. If you're not waking up like that on Monday, you need to sit back and examine what you're doing and examine how you can make changes because I noticed, and I don't know

if this is like a generational thing, but people just think that something's going to pop out of the air and change. The only way things are going to change is if you change them, you're yourself. So if you're doing shit you hate every day, I would really, really look into that. I would say this, though, Peter Drucker, the businessman, an author of managing oneself. He's also written a few other books on management. He's fucking guru. Um, says to only focus on your strengths and to not focus on your weaknesses. He says, you can exponentially grow and develop your strengths and you'll have a very, very difficult time growing your weaknesses. So if you are not somebody that's going to take a, you know, have a knack for accounting and it's a real struggle

for you, maybe think about bringing on somebody to do that for your business. And, you know, you can still be, you still need to pay attention to what's going on. But if that's not going to be your thing, don't waste time developing that strength because you're never going to be great at that. You're only, you know, Lauren, in the beginning when we first started doing this, I said, Lauren, you really need to be involved in the accounting and blah, blah, she is to the extent where she knows what's going on in the overall picture, but I don't have her doing the books anymore because I realize that's just not her strength. She doesn't want to do it. It's probably a waste of time. It's a waste of time. I would much rather have her focus on building her brand,

providing great content, developing the new sites, you know, and so on. So I guess finding your counterpart is almost very important. Yeah, well, I think. And it doesn't have to be your relationship. I think Jordan does a lot of things for the spinning confidential that I'm not good at. too. Like, we're not in a relationship, but you work with me. And she does a lot of things that are maybe not, not, I'm looking for a word, like they're not, they're just very time consuming, I guess. And it's stuff where I could be concentrating on building content and putting like, my creativity where it should be. And she's working on things that maybe don't need such like micromanaging. I guess though. And that's helped build the brand too. I guess though,

the question is she's just starting out and maybe doesn't have the funds to hire somebody. So I would really Hired intern. Interns are fantastic. Maybe a co-founder. Interns are amazing. Or maybe just keep the future in mind of one day you're going to have the finances to be able to pay someone to do that and just like let that fuel you. Be like one day, someone will be doing my bookkeeping one day and just keep going for it. But don't duck away from tasks that need to be done on the business just because you don't like them. That's a formula for failure. Make sure everything is being given the tension that it needs. All right. With that is it. Yeah. So if you guys want to send more questions in, tweet us at Lauren Everett's at Michael Bostick, hashtag Ask Him and Her.

You can also use the hashtag Ask Him and Her on Instagram and make sure to subscribe on iTunes. Yeah, we want to get higher. Subscribe, subscribe, and rate us and review us. Hopefully you're nice. And if you're not nice, leave us a picture so we can talk about it, right? So I can figure out that you're not a bridge troll. Your full name, your social security number. Your address.

Okay, we'll see you guys next time. Thank you so much for listening. Bye.