The Bossticks - #42: Taylor O'Connor -Mr. Piss Pants Wild Ride! Putting in Work & Regrets

Episode Date: December 20, 2016

Taylor O'Conner aka "The Bare Naked Cucumber," is out of the doghouse and joins Lauryn & Michael to explain how he got there in the first place. The Trio takes you back to the Bosstick's wedding weekend, where "The Bare Naked Cucumber" botched a speech, pissed his pants and managed to become a stripper. Lauryn, Michael, & Taylor also answer some listener questions and talk about the 'Post Wedding' party that featured a photo booth that made everyone look perfect! To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Okay, guys, we don't usually do this, but I think it's appropriate for this episode. If you have small children or people with sensitive ears, maybe think about turning it down and listening to this at a later time. There is some profanity, and it does get a little ridiculous at times. Nothing too crazy, but just please be forewarned. All right, here we go. The following program is a podcast.1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic.

And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cooking. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Okay, okay, okay, we're back again. Hi, guys, it's Lauren Eberts from the Skinny Confidential. And this is Michael Bostic, entrepreneur.

businessman and podcaster. What about husband? Husband. Well, you keep calling me... You keep calling me your boyfriend or fiance every time you introduce me. Lauren just went on extra with A.C. Slater, a.k.a. Mario Lopez,

and she introduced me as her boyfriend to A.C. Slater. Isn't that amazing? It's because she was hoping that they would get together. And we also have... Someone that's dying to be back on the podcast. I've been in the dog house. Couldn't even even. wait to get the intros done.

Literally shaking with anticipation. You weren't supposed to come in for another five minutes. Oh, shit. Sorry. I guess you're here. No, here you are. We'll come back. Taylor. I was going to say, uh, bear naked cucumber party smatcher and all around, all around great guy,

just for all you single ladies out there. Just don't look at his link in bio because you won't be happy about it. So Taylor, also known on this show and now in life as the bare naked cucumber is back, his social media podcast ban has been lifted. He proudly wears the title. Yeah, he proudly wears the title. We're going to get into why he was banned for a good, a lot of this episode. There's so many reasons why he was banned from social media after our wedding.

Justifiably, though, too. His display over the four days was so unique, then I don't even know where to start. Yes. So, as always, thank you guys for subscribing, listening, rating our podcast. If you've rated it at five stars, thank you. If you've given it a one, you're a bridge troll. Michael. And I will call you out. We really appreciate the reviews and the message of social media. If you guys have not rated a review the show, please do so. Even it's about one star, but you are at risk. You might rate us a one star after you hear what Taylor did in our

wedding. Yes. If you rate the one star, at least say this one star is for Taylor. I actually I actually think that'd be funny to get a few one stars and just say four Taylor. No, no, no, because then I want to be, I would sacrifice the rating of the show just to see one stars that said, four Taylor. So if anyone wants to do that, I will laugh. Or you could just do a four star or five star and say four Taylor. I wish people could rate your Instagram bio, because right now I'd give it a negative 10 star. Really? No, I think it's pretty good. It's heartfelt. I'm a very heartfelt person, as most people now who know me. Your Instagram bio is so, like, just horrendous right now. We've got to work with

So anybody out there, go look at it and let's see if she's right or I'm right. Go and look at it. Another shameless plug by Taylor. Did you take off the, um, that collage of four faces? No, that's still there. You still have the- That's still my main profile. Ooh, he has a collage of four faces as his default. It's the four personalities of me, always having fun.

So the last time we podcasted, I was three sheets of the wind, jet lagged in London. We just got done with dinner. I had about 35 martinis. You were loose. That was loose. I barely even remember doing that show. Really? Yeah.

But then I listened back and there's some gems in there. I mean, it's a little bit... Oh, good. So you're going to say you were blocked out and then you re-listen to your episode, but there was gems. If I podcasted when I was drunk, it would probably be just exed from the world.

You can't just like how you're usually exed from the world. You mean like our wedding? Yeah, basically. It would have been. Good thing? I think... Actually, wait, no, I'm talking about the wedding. So I'll wait.

Okay, yeah, wait. We're going to get into that. Just hold your horses. You're getting a little trigger happy since you've been a while. I almost think you acted the way you acted to like talk about it on the podcast. No, I just blacked out. Oh, all right. There's nobody behind the steering wheel.

We could smell. So we're back in San Diego, hit the ground running, working our asses off before the holidays. Everyone's stressed. Everyone's running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Michael got a Christmas tree for us. It was really cute. It got delivered yesterday. I like a weird Christmas tree

And this one's a little too perfect for me I like a Charlie Brown Christmas tree Like I like to get like the one that gets picked last This one's a little too perfect Well I got it from a site so I didn't really get to choose Which tree it was And I think we should decorate it with all white And gold touches

So maybe I'll convince you to go to Target Tonight. Yeah we're going to go to Target Shout out to Target No, Michael I love Target Hashtag Target I'm going to buy you a big cucumber to stick on the top.

That's good. It's a bare naked Christmas tree. Hide the pickle. You're right. Oh, no. Pickles, yeah, it's a pickled cucumber. If you guys play hide the cucumber, snap, John, it, do us. We should do that hashtag, find the pickle. Or find the cucumber. Oh, my God. The pickle or the cucumber?

No, I'm the cucumber. All right. So, what did we do this weekend? We had a wild party. Michael's mom threw us a party to do, like, a wedding cheers for everyone that didn't come to the wedding. we only invited 55 people. Obviously, she had a lot of friends.

My parents had friends. So we got everyone together and did this huge giant party. We did sliders. We did fries. We did champagne with pomegranate seeds. We had the most badass photo booth. Let's talk about it. Yeah, the photo booth's great, but literally I need to take out a second mortgage to be able to pay for this thing.

The photo booth, you guys, was so cool. Taylor, I admit it. No, it was. I'm not even joking. I have more. profile pictures now than I will. For the next three years, I'm just going to be posting these pictures over a period of time. For his default, there's going to be 40 pictures instead of four. So the photo booths called Mir Mir, and I don't know what it does, but it makes everybody

look really good. You know what it does? I looked at the photo of myself, and I think it puts the soft filter or the beauty filter over everything. Because I looked at my face and I, wait a second, that doesn't look, I don't never look that good. It's the Kardashian photo booth and it slims you and it smooths you and it shadows you in all the right places against a white background, which is really perfectly pleasing for an Instagram feed. And it makes everyone look amazing. Some people hadn't had a good picture in five to ten years and finally got one. I have 12 friends that changed your profile picture yesterday on Facebook.

You're about to have 13 because I'm going to do mine today. Ooh. So yeah, we did the party. I think hopefully now we can put the wedding to rest. Enough's enough. We've done it. I feel like we've done the wedding. This is the last time I want to talk about.

about it. Yeah. Well, actually, that's not true. I have to post my content on my blog, so you're going to have to get over that. So yesterday, we did like a brunch with all of our friends. Taylor was in the same clothes that he wore at the party. What else is new there, though? He was drinking a Bloody Mary, and then he switched to a mosa, and then he went to a margarita, so. That's the trio of good drinks. So before we get into questions today, let's finally, with much anticipation, get into why you have been banned for close to a month now, or a little bit over a month, on social media, the podcast, everything. His upper lip is sweating because he's so excited to...

He's been moved multiple times in the office. You're like that guy in office space that gets put in the annex. I'm not even going to lie. I was a little nervous, even when I came back home from the trip. I think I just sat in a dark room and thought to myself, what did I do? I feel like we have to like really walk everyone through the entire experience so they can see the shit that I have to deal with because it was definitely a scene. So let's get into it. Night one we get there.

The welcome party. And they're supposed to be a welcome party. And, you know, I always give everybody a pass in Cabo or Mexico for night one because everyone gets really excited and they drink a lot and that's to be expected. And the resort that we stayed at is like one of those resorts where you come and you're like so stoked to be there because they literally put Xanax in the air. Yeah, I think that's every time in Mexico. You're just down there and you get a little excited. So I was like, okay, everyone's going to get a little loose today. Lauren and I had been down there for a few days before planning everything.

You mean Lauren was planning everything. Okay, Lauren was planning everything. And I looked over at the welcome party and I saw what appeared to be Taylor. he had his bare hands digging into my dad's enchilada plate. My dad was smacking him away. No, your dad was sitting there eating some enchiladas, and Taylor took his bare, disgusting finger with his dirty nail, and dug into your dad's plate while he was eating the enchiladas,

pick the enchilada up like a fucking churro and macked down on it. You picked it up like it was a banana. And this isn't, this is not a tamale. It's a wet enchilada with sauce all of it. He's so excited. I think I got the beans and rice too, didn't I? Well, he pushed you away and you went back in for seconds. And let me just say, you know, my dad's, like, he's a cool guy, but he was pissed.

He said to me, he goes, you don't grab a man's dick and you don't grab a man's enchilada. And you kept going in and going in. And then at one point, I saw you. Your hair was flying everywhere. You were drooling out of the side of your mouth. I couldn't, you were sweating everywhere. You went shot for shot. Yeah, that was a bad one, too.

So why don't you tell the story in your own words? Okay, the reason why I did that is earlier in the day, we were hanging out at the pool and Gary ordered nachos. Gary's Michael's dad? Yeah, Michael's dad said, hey, Taylor, would you care to share these nachos with me? So I said, oh, wow, Gary's being really nice. So I ate, basically, him and I broke bread. And nachos are finger food. Yeah, naches are finger food.

So basically, I think I drank so much that I was basically broken down to just my animalistic nature of needing sustenance, food, and seeing food, and thinking to myself that, Gary and I were just friends, so I just reacted to basically what I was hungry and I needed food. You and I are friends too, and if you ever took a fucking enchilada off my plate? With your bare hands when you're blacked out. You know what's weird is I think I've probably done that before. So that wasn't too big of a deal, right? Okay, I mean, you were irritating people. Yeah, that was shits and giggles.

We did a lot. I will like to mention that the buffet of food was directly behind you and you could have gotten your own plate. I don't know why. That's another thing. I don't know why I did that. I actually woke up at four in the morning and thought to myself, damn it, I didn't even make it to the welcoming party. But I did. You were there.

You were there. When Michael sent me a text message saying, you need to pull it together, I thought I wanted to respond and go, wait a second. I wasn't even there. So the next morning, I woke up and said, listen, man, no big deal. We've all been there, but you need to pull it together today and get it together. And so I was like, okay, you know, everybody gets a little bit buzzed up the first night. Give him a pass. Didn't do anything that bad.

You were pretty drunk. You were irritating some people. happens with the best of us, right? So I said, pull it together. And boy, did you not listen. Boy, did you go the opposite. It was definitely a downward spiral. But the reason I think it got worse is because I was trying to improve.

And in me attempting to behave, I just fell hard. So then the next night, which is the rehearsal dinner night. You did the shampoo effect. We had the talk. I said, hold it together. You said, I will. Don't worry. You sure didn't.

Then came time for speeches, right? Some of our friends spoke and there was a beautiful words. Yeah, they're great. Great speeches. Beautiful speeches. Wait, let me just describe everything. Big, huge long table. I was wearing a bright gold dress having a Sharon Stone moment.

You were looking really cute. We were laughing. Everyone was giving speeches. We were eating impanadas. We were having tacos. Everything was great. And then... And then...

It was time for Taylor's speech. Well, actually, Taylor was supposed to... to speak the next day. No, he never was. I'll tell that after. Okay. I'll tell my side of the story. So, um, I saw someone hand you the mic, but right before they handed you the mic, I was like, okay, hopefully it keeps it together. I looked and you grabbed three tequila shots and slammed them in about three seconds, one after the other right before the speech. Did he? Yes, I did. By the way, we did have bottles of tequila with shot glasses on our tables at all times during our wedding, and everyone could handle it, but Taylor. So I actually have here on my phone,

your recorded speech parts of it. Let's not tell the story. Let's let the speech. I'm going to play it for everybody and let the speech. Yeah, this is actually, it's pretty bad. So, well, let's start out the first clip. Here we go.

I want something nobody will ever catch. Michael caught it. I and myself have tried to try to find something even remotely like Lauren. Just something awesome. Never, ever. Anybody, everybody should always try to strive their life

for trying to find a girl like Lauren because I actually think she's an awesome girl. And Michael. Okay, okay. Wow. Yeah, that was nice. That started off really sweet. Yeah, I was shedding a tear.

And I was like, well, okay, maybe he's pulling it together tonight. Like, he's got it. He's doing a good job. It's starting out good, actually. And then the second part of the speech happened. Well, Lauren, you have a big dick and let me suck down on that. Oh, wow. So you just got to have a fake up.

Yeah, of him. So, Michael. So her big dick. Michael, okay, Lauren's dick is much bigger than a 6.5 incher. Because that's how big my dick is. But what I want to get at. Okay, so there we go. We get to the second part.

So you told me your penis size, my rehearsal dinner speech, and told me that I have the biggest dick you've ever seen. And that you were going to suck it. And not only did you say this speech to us, you said it in front of grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents, dads, moms. So what do you have to say for yourself? Well, there wasn't that many adults. It was, I think in my mind it was, it wasn't it 95% our friends, 5% adults? Yeah, there was still 5% adults, though. So it started off confessing your love to us.

To me. To Lauren. Then you said you were going to blow Lauren. So that's kind of, I said, okay, this is taking a turn for the worse here. And then I started to have a little bit of anxiety. Then you talked about your own penis and your own penis size in the middle of our wedding. In front of parents, what do you got to say for yourself? You know, okay, so this is what was going on behind my head,

is Lauren kept telling me, telling me, if you give a speech, make sure to make me look great, of course. So I thought to myself, hmm, what would be better than having, I guess it doesn't even make sense. Why would I think that that would be a good thing to have? I mean, as a man, having a, you know, a large, a dick, a huge dick, is what could be better? But for a female and the bride.

Yeah, I guess, I guess that really didn't really translate. Okay, so then we, we're not done yet. We'll continue on. How is this real life? You're Bruce Wayne or you are the dudes that chops people up with an axe and returns multiple videos from that movie. What is it called? American Psycho!

Fuck! Patrick Bateman, Jesus. He is the epitome of just awesomeness. Where's your shoe? You're going to be Bruce Wayne or you want to be the dude that chops people in an axe. Same thing. I mean, that's basically the two things you aspire to be. Bernie everyone, the fuck out.

Would you get to the goddamn war? How are you single? This is crazy. You know what it is? It's funny because she asked me earlier, what Disney princess she asked? Who do I look like? I figured it out and I know exactly what it is.

You're the beauty. He's the beast. So you go to compare me to American... He actually compared me to the beast. Yeah, you go to compare me to American Psycho and that I'm chopping people up. And then you screwed up your beauty and the Beast thing and you called me the beauty

and her the beast and then you slammed the mic down like you just hit a home run and walked off stage. And you truthfully believe your speech was the best. You know, it was very heartfelt in the sense of the shooting star. Look at this. This is where I was trying to go with it. I was trying to say that

that Lauren is a shooting star and that Michael was able to obtain such a great unique you know. That theme didn't strike through. Yeah, it didn't really strike. Where did you decide to working your penis size into that shooting star analogy. I don't really know. I just know that what...

I don't know either. The ending of it was supposed to be, because Lauren kept saying, she did. She looked like a Disney princess. She looked beautiful. And she kept saying what movie. And that's where the ending was supposed to say. I was supposed to say, you are, you look like you're whoever that girl is, you know, other, I don't even know what them. Instead, you called me the beast. Yeah, but I meant to say you're the beauty and he's the beast, but I think I did it the backwards where he's the beauty and you're the beast. So that just was kind of, a really backfired speech on myself. But I must say, I was supposed to give a speech on the day of the wedding, and Lauren comes

up to me moments before and says, listen, you were never supposed to give a speech on the day of the wedding. Trust me, Lauren said it multiple times. You're giving a speech on the day of the wedding. So I said, okay, she came up to me, she said, you're other giving the speech right now or you're not giving a speech at all. So I thought to myself, okay, shit, I either give the speech now or I miss the opportunity forever.

And I'm not one to ever miss out on a good opportunity to, I want to make a good opportunity to, I want make sure I go down in history. Oh, you're going down. You're going down. You're going down. It would, okay, so still like pretty bad. We're at the point now. Like, you're going to blow the bride. You've called me a psycho. You told me to unravel my penis. Yeah. You've talked about your penis. And so I was like, okay, you can't get much worse from here. Oh, it can. But it can. Oh, it certainly did. I can. In your own words, and I'll jump in to make, just to keep you honest here, because I know the whole story. After the rehearsal dinner, some of my friends, and you being one of those friends decided to go into Cabotown to find some ladies of the evening at the strip club.

Because let's just back up. My wedding was probably 75% guys. There were so many guys at the end of it. I think my friends were about to have intercourse of the country. I have a lot of guy friends and I have a lot of girlfriends too, but a lot of the wedding was guys. So there wasn't a lot of options for poor Tete. Yeah, no, there was definitely, it was a big sausage fest, but a good one. You know, it was if there was, I would be, I wouldn't want to be with anybody else other than who we were with. The girls there, though, are all taken. That's the problem. They're all half-boyfriends. Yeah, so there was literally nothing. It was dry. So you decide to go with some of our friends to the strip club. I'll let you take it from here

and I'll keep you honest along the way. In your own words, what happened? I'm really, really going out on a limb being honest with this, but I really think I need to, to be honest, just to be able to demonstrate the severity of what took place or what transpired. And it's quite embarrassing to myself. But again, it's a burden that I'll have to carry and if someone gets a laugh out of it, then I think, then that's all that really matters. So, but this is 100% truthful. Trust me, after you're hearing this, you're going to think there's no way this guy fucking made this up.

So the time it takes from getting to the resort down to Cabo downtown, I think is about a 30-minute cab ride. So the shuttle arrives, and right off the bat, after drinking all the tequila and giving the speeches, I have to, I have to urinate like a racehorse. And the taxi, is pulling away. And I'm saying, hey, let me use the restroom. Everyone's saying, no, you're either coming right now

or you're staying. So I thought to myself, okay, I'll just hold it. Bad decision. Bad idea. Bad idea. Another bad idea by Taylor-O-Whor. I should have chosen the last. Volume 800 million.

So I get in, it's one of these, you could probably fit 12 people. It's like a big van. One of the transport vans back and forth to the airport. So we're flying down the road. This guy's probably going 80 miles an hour, just a long stretch of highway. And I have to piss so bad that I honestly think I'm going to do physical damage to my,

to my beautiful male parts. You're beautiful 6.5. So I'm telling the guy, excuse me, Andolay, can you go faster? Can you go faster? Excuse me, Andalay. That's the word you used? Okay. So they're saying, hey, just hold it, hold it, hold it.

And it's one of those scenarios where I'm thinking myself, what am I going to do? And I'm looking in the back thinking I literally might climb in the back at the trunk and just start pissing. scene because it's so bad. Did you ever consider asking him to just pull over very quickly? I think I did. I would have had to, unless maybe... Because that would have been my first move before deciding to climb in the back of the trunk

of the man, moving 80 miles an hour down the road. But go on. So, we finally make it down there, and at this point, I feel like there's a small midget with a dagger trying to climb through my urethra. Well, I'm sure that's very political

correct. Go on. So as we get out, again, it's a club nightlife in downtown. So there's lines everywhere. And everyone's saying, hey, look, we're going to go to the strip club. Just hold it. And I'm telling everyone, listen, I can't. And I start to just bolt, sprint. And as I'm running, I'm running through this restaurant.

And I'm trying to get, I don't know if you suit pants have multiple buttons and latches and all sorts of belts to keep the pants on. You wear multiple belts with your suits? Is that what I'm happening? Yeah. So as I'm trying to, you know, de-fut. fuse the bomb of the of my latches on my pants, I just, just start pissing. In the restaurant.

In your pants. In the pants. In the restaurant. As I'm running through the restaurant. With your multiple belts. I didn't know it was in the restaurant. Yeah, it was like a, you know, a taco shop place. So I'm sprinting back there and I, you know, unfortunately, I, a majority of the piss

went into the toilet, but there were still, there was still some that got all over me. So I did the best I could to water myself down. and dried off. And I was wearing a suit, so I was able to kind of cover it with my jacket. So I come out and they're like, oh, where'd you go? I said, I'd take care of business. So let me pause you here real quick. So at this point, you've given the speech of the century, you have pissed yourself.

It's dribbling down your leg. At this point, you know, a lot of bad things have already happened. But at this point, you'd think, hmm, I better call it a night, call up quits, and head home. But not you. You kept going. I just took a 30-minute taxi ride down here. I wasn't leaving. It was too much fun. When I'm out of the country, I like to enjoy myself and have fun. So I guess that's, but again, I guess that's besides the point of that scenario. So enjoying yourself as pissing your

pants in a restaurant with dribble down your leg? Well, that was a mistake. That was to stop permanent damage to myself. Okay, so now you even think it's about time to go home. No, no, it definitely wasn't. Not yet. So we go into the strip club and the one thing. With your piss pants. With the piss pants. The one thing about a strip club, I've only been to maybe two in my entire life. And the one thing I know is the girls always, they try to get on you to say, hey, let me give you a lap dance. So I'm trying to, I'm making sure everyone stays away from me. All the girls, I'm going, no, no, thank you, no thank you.

Grasias. You know, stay away. Stay away. I'm not going to tell them why, but I'm being very, very aggressive in the sense of saying, listen, don't come near me because you're going to regret it, more or less. So one of my good friends that was there kept egging everyone on or the strippers, oh, go, go dance with them, go dance with them. Or go, you know, go give them a lap dance. And I kept pushing him away going, no, it's fine. Go give it to somebody else.

Go dance with this person. Go dance with this person. So I get up and I go to the restroom to, I think, maybe redry. I don't recall specifically what. But I know when I came out, there were four strippers that were basically grabbing me and dragging me up on the stage. I'm saying, no, no, like don't. Please. I don't want to lap dance.

But one of my friends had paid them. I think he gave him each $200 or something to drag them up on stage and to try to take all my clothes off or do a lap dance with me up on stage. So they drag me up there. And I'm trying to tell them, no, listen, you don't want to go down this road. You don't want these piss-pill pants. You don't want, this is not a lap you want to grind against at the moment. So they put me up on stage in this chair, and I'm trying to shoot them away,

and they're pulling my pants down or they're trying to. And I'm, no, signorita, trying to just get them away. So I think the only thing I could do is, again, there's a language barrier. And I don't think they're really, they think I'm just trying to be the shy guy going, oh, like, no, no, it's okay. I'm really trying to stop them from getting themselves contaminated with, you know. The best way to have done that would to have been to gone home after you pissed yourself. But so from what I understand, at this point, you're three sheets of the wind,

and you think that you can air dry yourself by spinning around the pole. Is this correct? Yeah, so they pull my pants down and I... Wait, what? No, I'm serious. I'm not mistaken. No, I saw a video of you butt naked on the stage. Yeah, so I pulled...

No, I didn't know that. So in order to, I thought to myself, the only way that I can make this not be weird is to show these girls what's up. So let me just pause for a second. After you've pissed yourself in your mind, you say the only way to make it not weird is to get naked and spin around the pole.

That's what's going on in your mind. mind? Yes. So I don't know why, but I pulled my pants down and I got up and I spun around the pole and I fell. These girls, they have really good core strength because I think I spun twice around and then came tumbling right down to the ground, smashed onto the ground and they thought, okay, maybe this guy's injured. But then I got up again and went running across the stage and did a whole other twirl on the other pole. And then I think I fell down again and I, have really bad marks on my body. Were you really butt-naked? For a period of time. A short period of time, but still, one way or the other of that. Okay, so then we get through this and, you know,

the next morning, here comes another text message from Michael. This one's a little longer, a little more aggressive. I say, you know what, man, I've heard a lot of stories. I saw the speech. I wasn't there at the strip club, but I'm getting video. We really need to hold it together today. It's my wedding day. I need you to keep it together. And, For most of the time I did That one So fast forward again We've gone through the day

Now we're at the wedding We've done the wedding ceremony Thank God nothing happened there It's over And we're at the wedding dinner Your butt naked spinning on a pole display Was hopefully behind you And somebody

You actually for a split second Thought you were going to be able To give another speech I feel like it was a split five minutes Everyone was trying to egg me on So I thought well I still One day, one of these days I'm just gonna start

Give you guys a speech you guys deserve So I immediately had to pull the plug on that and say no. And this is the end of the story. But this is ultimately why you got the social media ban on top of everything else. Lauren's stepmother, Julie, sweet, angel, asked you politely to sit down. And what did you tell her? To me, I thought I just said, oh, don't worry. I'm not saying anything.

And to the rest of us, it was fuck off, get away from me. Okay, so actually, here's what happened. I was sitting there all dressed up and you were breathing down my throat and ear, trying to lick my ear and whisper how sorry you were for the night before. This is as I'm trying to enjoy my wedding dinner and, like, eat my wedding food and have my wedding cocktail. Like, you're breathing in my ear telling me how sorry you are. And then she taps you on the shoulder asking you please to leave the bride alone because you've caused the bride enough problems the last four days.

and you told her to get the fuck away from you. I thought I said fuck off bitch. No, you said, fuck off. Get the hell away from you. And then I almost punched you in the face and you had to sit down. Michael put your ass on timeout. Yeah, for some reason in my head,

I thought she was like, you know, had me in a headlock or something. But I don't think she did. She literally tapped you on the shoulder and said, Taylor, please sit down with the wedding dinner. But anyway, so your band is now coming to an end.

Oh, you also forgot how we have two girlfriends there. And he went up to one of my girlfriends and said, God, you look gorgeous. And then you turned to the other one and said, but don't worry, you look way hotter. Yeah, that was, again, I think my, my, my calibration and my compliments were a little off. Yeah, I would say so. So anyway, your ban is up now. Hopefully this never happens again. You did apologize. You did apologize. You did your rounds.

He's done the December 2016 apology tour. That I did. Julian, you're good. You're good. I gave her a big hug yesterday. You got your pants dry, cleaned. I did. Dry, cleaned, clean. Now I'm back together. Back to 100%. Don't think anyone will on a date you after this. No, that's not true.

Okay. You know, mistakes happen. That was mistakes. All right. Before we get into the show, I want to let you guys know to go to members. Dot the skinny confidential.com and use code him and her for 20% discount to all listeners. You can find my full-blown meal plan. It's everything that I ate before my wedding and like all my favorite snacks and desserts and

cocktails, everything it's written down. And I also have a meal plan, 27 minutes, quick, easy workouts you can do while you're watching the Real Housewives. Again, go to members dot the skinnyconfidential.com and use checkout code him and her for 20% off. Do you want to know what's going on in the world of pop culture? Well, then you need to download my podcast, Brandy Glanfellon. Unfiltered. I talk about all things, pop culture, we have amazing celebrity guests. I ask the questions. Everyone is afraid to ask. So listen to Brandy Glenville Unfiltered every week on

podcast.com or on the Podcast One mobile app. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. All right, we're back from the break. Taylor's taking a cold shower, splash some water on his face. He's actually feeling good that he got that off his chest. He needed to get it off his chest. I know. I buried my demons. Maybe your dating apps will be reactivated now? No, I do want to apologize, though, to the stepmom again, because that was just, I felt really bad about that because she's definitely a sweetheart. So if she's listening, Julia, I don't think you knew who it was. No, I don't think I did either. I just think there was.

I think you knew who you were. I think you were just blocked out before dating. I honestly, I think, I think me passed out and there was just some phantom driver behind the steering wheel. No, it wasn't a phantom. They were there. All right, let's get into the questions. First question, what advice would you give to someone who's trying to balance a full-time job and start their blog or business at the same time? So when I first started blogging, I was definitely working, as you guys know, as a bartender and a peer bar teacher and a Pilates teacher. And my advice would be to just do it. I think that you make time for what you want to make time for and you can do anything you want. There's 24 hours in a day. I was working until midnight.

coming home, working for two hours, waking up in the morning, shooting my photos, and I would just do the same thing day after day after day, so it started to become a habit. The advice would be to just do it and make it happen. I mean, Gary V. always says if you're watching Game of Thrones or if you're at your boyfriend's house sitting there, like there's time when you could be doing stuff like a blog or a business on the side with a 9-to-5 job. Well, I think it comes down to how bad you really want it. Everybody wants to start their own business or their own blog or their own side thing, but a lot of people don't want to. want to put in the work and make sacrifices. I was reading Arnold Schwarzenegger's biography a while

back, and one of the chapters dealt with this, and he was giving a speech one time at a college, and one of the students stood up and was kind of in a whiny, complaining tone saying that he didn't have time to go to school and work a job, to which Arnold replied, everyone has the same 24 hours in the day, it's what you make of it. You can go to school for eight hours in the day, work for six, and you still have time left in the day. Just a lot of people, are not willing to sacrifice leisure or relaxation or time with friends. And if you want to create your own business and you want to create your own side hustle while you have a job, you have to understand that certain sacrifices need to be made.

There's plenty of Friday nights, Saturday nights where Lauren and I can't go out or can't meet with friends or we have to take flights or, you know, even Taylor, how many times in the past if I had you go on the opposite one, two, three in the morning to get something done? It's just, it's the nature of the beast. and I think what I would say is really ask yourself and be honest with what sacrifices you're willing to make. I mean, I think my whole entire blogging career has been a lot of sacrifice. I think it may seem one way on social media, but there's been so many things that I've sacrificed because I have something that's due or I have to get something up.

I mean, even at my bachelorette party, you know, we were drinking and having fun, but then when dinner was over, I had to go to my room and like work for two hours on something. Our wedding, I was working the entire time too. Like, there really hasn't been a point where I've been able to like sit and kick back yet. And I'm okay with that because I feel like if you're doing what you love and you have a very clear vision, then you're fine with making those sacrifices because in the long term gain, it's worth it. It's always improving yourself because actually I'm taking coding classes right now just for web development. And I do that.

Most of the time I do that, I do it at home after work. And realistically, you have to find whatever it is that you're going to do, have some. enjoyment in it and then it really won't be looked at as work. It'll be looked at as basically improving yourself and improving your life. Well, my whole thing is if you go to work for eight hours in the day, let's call it eight to ten hours, you sleep eight hours. So let's say you've got 16 hours done there. There's still eight hours left in the day for you to do whatever you want. You could even take four of those hours and work on your thing and four hours for friends. But, you know, to give an example, Lauren and I were in New York and we were working out there

the whole time taking meetings and and hustling around. But we had a bunch of our friends out there. So I think one of the nights, you know, used to out late in New York, we're out until like three, four in the morning. And we had meetings the next day at 8 a.m. We got literally two to three hours of sleep, but still got our asses up and made every single meeting that whole day. And what it really comes down to is driving yourself and being driven to say, okay, you know,

this sucks, but I'm going to do it anyway. And recognizing that if you put in the work, you'll get really good results. So I just think that there's a lot of people right now that say they want something, but they're unwilling to put in the time and unwilling to make sacrifices. And I think if you're unwilling to do that, you might as well just stick with what you're doing and not try to start your own thing. Here's what I would do if I had a 9 to 5. If I had a 9 to 5 right now and I wanted to do a blog,

I would come home at 5 o'clock, I would shoot photos until 6. I would get on the computer. I would write from 6 to 8 while I was eating dinner. and then from 8 to 10, I would return emails. And I would do that at least five days a week. And I would make it a habit and I would time block it. And I would just put my head down and do what I had to do to get it done. It's so much better than sitting there complaining why you're at.

Like it's so much better than sitting there being like, oh, this is 9 to 5. It sucks. It sucks. That's so much energy that you're giving out. That energy could be utilized to building something or working on a dream that you have. Now, I didn't work 9 to 5. I worked three to 12 or three to 11. And I got to have the day, but I also was teaching during the day.

So I had little pockets of time. So some of you guys were like that too where you have these little, like you'll have an hour here, two hours here, three hours here. Bring your computer. Go to Starbucks. It's great Wi-Fi. I used to go into Starbucks, write for two hours, go teach Pilates, come back to Starbucks, write for another hour, go teach Pure Bar, go home, shoot photos, go to bartend.

I mean, you can make it happen. And the thing about right now when you're in your 20s and 30s is it's a really good time to be selfish. Like I feel like a lot of you do have that time to delegate. Now, if you have children, they go to bed probably, I would assume at nine, you still have like nine to one. And if that's what you have to do to get out of the position that you're in, that nine to five that you don't want to be in, then that's what you have to do. Yeah. And there's an interesting exercise that I think is useful. and that is beneficial to try, start auditing your time.

So you wake up in the morning, say you wake up at 7 in the morning. Literally in a little journal write, okay, from 7 to 8, you're getting ready for work or you're getting ready to do something from 8 to 8.30 or commuting to work. Literally log every single hour of the day, even when you're home. And be honest, if two hours of that is watching TV or an hour of that's searching social media or playing games or whatever, or hanging out with friends, really write down your time and do this for a full week. I think you'll be surprised at how much wasted time you'll find and take that time, add it up, and start being productive with it. I think that's a great idea, auditing your time.

I love that. I do think you can make anything you want to happen happen. Sometimes it's going to take longer than others because everyone's situation's different. But if you want something bad enough, you will figure out a way. Did you come up with time auditing? Or did you read that? Because that's a really good idea. I just thought of it. Just know.

Oh. You do that, though. Yeah, well, I don't do, I do versions of that. But I, you know, I've talked about this in the past. I actually plan out and structure my day in my calendar all the time. So I think that helps me watch my time. But I think in this case, you have to reverse engineered and see where you're wasting time before you can actually start planning your time.

Does that make sense? Yes. And I also think a big waste of time that I've noticed even myself doing lately is on social media. Like, I think that so much. Any of us are on social media. Maybe we're here five minutes, ten minutes, 20 minutes. It adds up. And before you know it, you're like looking at other people's stuff

when you could be working on your own stuff. Yes. Okay. Question two. If you had one chance for a do-over-in-life, what would it be? I think Taylor's would probably be the wedding. You know what, but would I really? No, okay, okay.

Actually, no, I like that answer because... You love the story. I like that answer because I know where you're going with it. And I'm the same way. I don't think, and this is going to be a short answer for me, I don't think there's one thing in my life that I would do over. Even the worst mistakes or the worst things that I've ever done or have ever happened to me, I don't think I would change any of them because it's what's shaped to me to who I am.

That is such a cliche answer. No, but it's true, though, because I think everything I stand for stands for looking forward and moving forward and never looking back. I think you can take experiences from the past and use them to help yourself in the future. But I think people run into a lot of trouble when they did the coulda shoulda-witta dance or look in reverse or in the rear of your mirror. I just think that that's a really dangerous and unproductive way to live life. So I would not do anything over. I agree with you.

I don't look in the past either. But there is one thing I think I would have done differently, which is go to college. for four years. Just for me. Meaning you wouldn't have gone. I think that I would have taken the energy I put into college and the money I put into college and started a business earlier. But let me play devil's advocate because I'm not.

I know what you're going to say. I'm not exactly for college for everyone either. And I'm not saying that it's not good for some people. I think it's good for some and not so good for others, depending on the situation, which I've talked about in the past. But in your situation, the reason you had the idea for the skinny confidential was going to San Diego State. and seeing that there was no healthy options in coming up with the need.

So I think it's difficult to play that game. Yeah, it's difficult. If you wouldn't have gone to San Diego State, maybe we wouldn't be blogging, and we wouldn't be doing this podcast, and Taylor wouldn't be telling his piss-pants story to thousands of thousands of people. A decision happens, a break happens in your life, and multiple different pathways come from that one specific one, and realistically, you don't know where, it's kind of like a, what is it, a river,

a split in the river. That's a good analogy for you. Yeah, it's like your pants. I guess you could talk about the pants, but I'm just saying in general, you need to look at, you need to learn something no matter what, regardless of it was a good experience or bad experience, you need to improve and become the overall better person. And I learned something down in Cabo is no, you know, don't go into the strip club when you have urine all of yourself. And don't give speeches after, you know, pounding shots.

I feel like you shouldn't be telling anyone what they should be doing after your display in Clabo and today's story. Yeah, maybe you're right. I feel like today is a day where you just kind of sit back when we're giving advice and just twiddle your thumbs. But you know what I did think to myself is I thought to myself, it could have been worse. No. I don't know how it could have been worse. Were you going to soil yourself? Maybe if you shit yourself.

How could it have been worse? Okay, maybe it couldn't have been worse. Yeah, let's not give advice this podcast with you. I think you just, you know, go have a Coke. It's time to get that shopping started. If you're like me, you're a procrastinator. So, hurry up. You could go old school and spend hours searching for a parking spot and wrestling with crowds in a mall.

Or you could get it done at home in bed with the glass of line by clicking a few buttons. Yep, I'm talking about Amazon. I'm obsessed with Amazon because it's like a one-stop checkout. You basically press a button and you're like good to go. But not just any Amazon, guys. I'm talking about my Amazon banner on Podcast One.com. So when you buy stuff through my Amazon banner, it's a small amount of the purchase that goes directly to help support the podcast at no extra cost to you. We would really, really appreciate it.

So here's how you do it. Go to Podcast One, click on Killer Deals link, click on our show, and you'll see Amazon and all of our sponsors. Then when you guys click the link bookmark it, so it's super easy to use next time. It's kind of a cool way that you can help us keep doing this show for free every week. All right. And with that, we're out. But before we go, we just want to take a minute and thank all the great sponsors and all of you listeners, readers, for supporting the podcast. We really appreciate all the enthusiasm towards it. We never thought we would be doing this. We never thought we would get this far. We never thought we would be telling stories of my employees pissing themselves. But here we are. You never know where life's going to leave you. Yeah, you never know. You never know. So remember to send in your questions. To be stuck in the middle of Mexico with no restroom. Twitter or Snapchat using the hashtag Ask Him and Her.

Or email us at podcast at the skinny confidential.com. You guys, we want to do Collins. You can go check out the Colin page on the Skinny Confidential under Podcast. And with that. Taylor, any last words? Yeah. Follow me on Instagram. Tales you die.

Let's talk. And I hope to talk to you soon. No one's going to follow you. No, they're not going to. But at least I'll try. Hashtag piss pants on his latest photo. No, what was it? Hashtag Find the cucumber.

Let's do shameless plugs after you pissed yourself in a strip club. You're right. All right. Well, thanks for listening, guys. Happy Tuesday. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential, him and her, with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcast.1.com or subscribe now on the podcast one app.