The Bossticks - #44: Co-Host Interview Part 2: Lauryn Evarts

Episode Date: January 3, 2017

To kick off 2017 Lauryn is now in the hot seat, as Michael asks her the questions you want to hear! Lauryn highlights how she decided to start blogging, the importance of a positive internal monologue, how her insecurities fuel her, and the two share their thoughts on new years resolutions. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

The following program is a podcast one.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

I forgot to order anyone. Oh, good thing we're sitting in such close quarters. I really would forget it. Hopefully I can get through the show without passing out. I'm trying a vanilla kind tomorrow, so hopefully tomorrow will be better. But for now, we're back again, and I'm not wearing deodorant again. New Year, New You. No.

Not, nope. New smells. New Year, new smells. Same smells. New Year, same smells. Hi, guys. I'm Lauren Everett's creator of the blog and brand The Skinny Confidential. And I am Michael Bostic here in 2007.

coming at you live. Happy New Year, guys. Happy New Year. There's so much going on right now on social media about New Year and 2016 and the kind of year it was and 2017 and goals and resolutions. It's almost overwhelming. Don't you feel like that? Yeah, I'm not a big resolution guy. Why?

Because I feel like if you would have, I mean, just because the calendar flips, like, now you're going to turn into a whole new person. Like, I feel like resolutions are just, like, they're not realistic. I think to each its own, I think you should do what works for you. If a resolution works for you and you're actually going to work the resolution, you should do it. But I do find interesting when people make a list of 600 resolutions. I feel like it's more efficient to just focus on one. It goes back to the thing we talked about a long time ago, why I favor systems instead of goals. So, like a system you can set up to, like, to be productive.

and to be, you know, to hit, basically a system you can set up so that you actually hit goals without setting them. Does that make sense? Yeah. Because when people set goals and they miss them, then you get disappointed. And I think that's the problem with resolutions. Like, you know, people say, I'm going to get in shape for the New Year's. Okay.

Well, what system have you set up so that you can enable yourself to get in shape? Does that is a system set up so that you can get to the gym easier? One of our friends makes charts. Yeah. One of the things that I do every morning when I get up is I put my gym clothes on. And I don't put my going to the gym, to work clothes or my day clothes. I put gym clothes on. So that kind of puts me in the, it's a system I've created to force me to go to the gym. Okay, do you want to know how psycho I am? Sometimes I'll

sleep in my gym clothes. Like, sometimes I'll sleep in a sports roth. So I just like can wake up and it's just like already there. And sometimes you'll go to the gym and sleep in those same clothes and then. No, I won't, Michael. Only one I really want to piss you off and I'm not wearing any deodorant. So we're here. It's a new year. We made it. Thank you guys for subscribing. Thank you guys for subscribing. Thank you for listening. Look forward to a lot of guests in 2017. Lots of exciting different guests from kind of all over the place. We have to. This episode, we are going to pick up where we left off with last week, when you interviewed me. I'm going to turn the tables and interview you. Yeah, you guys liked when I interviewed him. We thought that was like a fun thing

to do before we bring other guests on. And so today, Michael is going to interview me. And I have no idea what the questions are. Well, but before we start, I want to address something. and talk about something that you and I have been talking about for the last couple of days. We've kind of been bitching about it. Yeah, which kind of goes against what I want to talk about right now. But there's been so many negative posts and so many people saying 2016 was the worst year ever. Oh, my God, 2016 was terrible. This happened, that happened.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Hopefully 2017 is better. And I think that this attitude is so self-defeating. I don't think it helps anyone. I think all it does is spread negativity. And so if for a second we could switch gears and spread some positivity, that's what I want to do. Yeah, I think I'm going to do a post about that. I think to sum up a whole entire year as negative is short-sighted.

That's 365 days that you're calling negative. There was definitely things that happened in 2016 that maybe were negative, but there was also a ton of things that happened that were positive. And I think if you just completely categorize a year as negative, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's just not a good way to kind of leave it. Well, let's put it this way. You could be dead. You could be sick. You could be sick.

You could get maimed. There's so many maimed is like you could have a limb torn off. Oh. You could have, you know, there's people that really struggle and live in terrible places. If you're listening to this, that means you're obviously doing something, right? You have an audio device that can, I don't want to say right, but you're lucky to have an audio device that you can actually listen to a, podcast and not just ours but anything you can listen to music listen to the phone there's plenty of people in the world that just don't have this luxury and so when i see people complaining all the time

it really just gets me down because i just think that it doesn't it doesn't help yourself and it doesn't help anyone else all it does is create more negativity in the world don't hop on the 2016 negativity bandwagon i would get off that wagon i would look forward i would start fresh if things did happen that were negative in 2016 maybe you look at the things that were positive, I actually just made a list the other day of all the positive things that happened in 2016. I feel like that's the way to start the year off with a bang, and to completely, again, categorize the entire year as negative. I just, I just feel like that's such a waste of fucking time. Well, let me ask you this question and everybody out there

that's listening the same question. When has complaining and bitching and moaning and crying ever gotten you anywhere good? Like, what is it? No one cares. No, nobody. gives a shit. When you complain literally nobody gives the shit. In fact, it's a turnoff. No, it's a turnoff. When someone complains on my Facebook feed, I literally press unfollow. I don't want that negativity. I've actually gone through my Facebook feed and cleaned out anyone that has negative, negative, negative. There's a quote that my dad always used to say to me. We still says it's another one. Yeah, it's another one. It's like, and it goes like this. I don't know if I'm getting exactly right, but it's close. It says, smile in the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone.

Yeah, so smile into 2017. There's actually a study that was done to. When you complain and you bitch and you moan and you cry and, you know, even if, even if shit is bad, right? But when you constantly complain and whine and bitch and cry about it, you actually become a source of anxiety and a source of negativity for those around you. And they actually don't want us be around you. They don't want to spend time with you. But then what happens is you have a rough time pulling yourself out of the negative cycle because the people that would come around. you and uplift you and pull you out and make you and bring happiness your life actually don't

want to help you do that because you're bringing them down with you so what I do each morning and what I think Lauren does too is I have a journal and it's like I'm not one of those like diary guys but I'll go in and actually even if shit's hitting the fan and something terrible is going on I will sit down and write things I'm grateful for and it could be the simplest thing ever it could be like give an example because you let me read it sometimes it's like super sweet just like something so simple it could be something as simple as I woke up today and I woke up in a bed in a comfortable home. Okay. Or what else could it be? Or it could be something as like, I got to feed the dogs today.

Okay. Or it could be something as like I got, you know, I went to dinner with a friend and had a good experience. It could be basically, it could be like, hey, the weather was great today. It could be literally anything. And what I find is like if you write down like four, five, six, seven things that are positive in your life, you'll start to just feel really good. And so. And then at the end of the year, when I,

Everyone's saying what a horrible year it is, you can go back on your gratitude journal and reflect on how many good things happen to you. Yeah. And they could be really basic or they could be really good things. Like maybe you have a business milestone or maybe you have something in your relationship went well or maybe something in your family happened. That was good. But I try to just find things that are really, really simple and I don't and I don't ever write anything negative. And if there is something negative, I try to put a positive spin on it. whenever I've had something really, really negative in my life happen, I don't associate it with a year. So, like, the worst thing that's ever happened to me I can think of right now. And I don't actually even know what year it was because I don't give that year power. So my advice is start 2017 off and just give it positivity. Yeah. And listen, everyone has their own issues and their own problems.

So keeping that in mind when you finally get to get around. somebody and have an experience with them, go to dinner, go to lunch, work in an office setting with them, whatever the hell you're doing with them, why do you then want to pile your issues onto them? So I just think when you bitch and complain, literally nobody gives a shit. Well, they say energy attracts energy. So when you take inventory of your life, and I've had to do this before when I felt like there was maybe toxic people in my life, I evaluate myself as opposed to evaluating them. How am I bringing in this energy? And why am I allowing? this toxicity into my life because maybe I was going through something toxic at the time.

I think it's really important to kind of take inventory of who's around you and how you're allowing it in. I got really, I got this weird, I got sick one time. I don't know what it was, but. Like the worst rash ever? Yeah, I got, I ate at this restaurant in San Diego and I'm not going to name the restaurant because literally nobody will ever go there again. Wait, you're still blaming the restaurant for this? I am 100%.

It's not the restaurant. No, because I went, okay, so long story short, I got this crazy rash and I'm not. I looked like the guy that lives in the attic and Braveheart, you know, the leper guy, Robert of the Bruce. I've never seen that movie. Okay, well, basically there's like this leper that lives in these old ratty sheets and he lives in the attic and he's just like his like face is falling off and like, so anyways, I got this crazy rash from something that I ate. And I was like that guy. And at the time I lived in a high rise and I was so depressed and I would like walk around in the dark and look down over the city and just be like, I was like, I'm the leper in Braithard. I'm never coming out again.

So you're like quasi-ono. I remember this. he was so sick, you guys. He had a rash all over, head to toe, his entire body completely covered. Yeah, and when I saw head to toe, we mean, we mean head to toe everything. Yeah, and do you know, it's funny is I always try to explain this to our friends and like, oh, I got this rash. Like, okay, it couldn't have been that bad.

Every time I show the pictures to people, they're like, holy shit. No fear. It's screenshot it on his desktop, guys. Yeah, I got it. I need to like really show how severe this thing was. But anyways, during that time. Can you post it on Instagram so people can see? No, I don't want to ruin people's day.

but maybe someday. During that time, it was really humbling because all of my looks were just, I looked like a leper. I couldn't go out in public. I was itchy.

I was freaking out. I couldn't work. I couldn't touch Lauren. I couldn't do anything. And I couldn't figure out what it was. So I was really freaked out. And I also didn't know

how long it was going to last. But during that time, I started reading and I started like really, like realizing how much I took health for granted and how important it is to be grateful when you're in good health

and when you can do little things like going out or eating certain foods or just, you know, feeling healthy. I ended up having to go to the hospital and was hospitalized for like three days. That was miserable. And so you just really start to be grateful. And I learned a lot. So I look at that experience as a positive experience because it taught me so much.

And I think you can apply this to anything. Like maybe you're doing a business and you're about to go broke, right? Okay. What have you learned from that experience? You're going to pick yourself up and go again. I just think that with every bad situation, there's something to be learned. There's some positive light to find. And that's what I try to do now with everything.

Good advice, honey. So stop bitching about 2016. Yeah. And let's look at it with a good, positive intention. There's so much to do in 2017. Let's take each day as it comes as opposed to making it a whole year. There was a quote that I saw that I really liked. It said 2016, best year ever.

2017, best year ever. I think that's a good attitude. That is a good attitude. So make it the best year ever. All right. All right. So you're ready? You're in the hot seat.

Yeah, I'm ready. These are questions, you guys, that Michael went through. You guys have written in so many questions about asking us about, you know, your job or what we did here or what we do every morning or just different types of questions. And we've compiled. Well, Michael's compiled because I don't know what the questions are. Five questions out of your questions, if that makes sense. I did a Snapchat the other day on my Snapchat at Michael Bostic. Oh my God.

He loves to plug his Snapchat. I love to plug it. And I just ask people which questions to ask. so I kind of took those and then put some of my own spin on it. And so I have questions for you. Okay. Are you ready? I'm ready.

Are you nervous? I'm not nervous. Okay. Question one. Tell me the story of how and why you came up with the idea of doing a blog. I feel like I've told this story so much, but just to give everyone a quick recap, I was at San Diego State. I was bored. I was unstimulated.

I've told a lot of people this. I thought I was lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy. because I was so bored, I was not excited to get up and go to work or school. And so I was like, okay, I'm just a lazy person. And then I started to see around campus all these girls were eating all this junk food. And I would go and modify all these foods when I was eating it. And I was like, how can I share these tips and tricks with all these sorority girls in like a quick, fast, efficient way? And not only that, like, I wanted to share all the tips and tricks with like everyone. And when I say everyone, I met like I wanted to talk to people in Turkey.

And so the idea of a blog came, but before doing the blog, I wanted to make the blog like a foundation, meaning I wanted to make it a foundation for a brand. So I didn't just want to launch a blog. So the whole time that I was planning on launching this, I was thinking long term. And so I guess it came out of cunning to just want to launch a community for women. Okay. So to follow that up, do the things or feelings that drove you to start, then do they still drive you now? Yes.

The same goal is to build that community. and it's like laying bricks. You build it every day, very slow, until you get to a bigger picture. And you have to keep building and laying those bricks every day. It's a very slow thing. It's not something that's going to happen overnight.

But I still have the same feelings that I had when I was starting out to now. And that is the bigger picture. So when, so at what point is that bigger picture? When is the bigger picture done? Or do you just keep going and going and going? I don't really have like a finale in my head. I think of it as like, the way my brain thinks is it's like one circle and off these circle,

there's like all these little lines. And then off those little lines, there's more little lines. So it's kind of just trying to make everything work into, and kind of like a puzzle. And I feel like I have not even like started with what I want to do. So every day again, I'm just building towards that bigger puzzle. Okay. So obviously this started as a passion project and it started as a creative outlet. I would say it didn't start as a passion project.

The second that I started getting into blogging, I knew that this is what my calling was. I never had felt like this about anything else. And that's why, you know, I think that when you're doing what you love, it doesn't feel like work. And that's so cliche, but it really is true. Like I said, I didn't want to go show up and work for someone else. And I didn't want to go to school and sit and listen to a teacher in the front. That wasn't for me. But the second that I started doing this was the second where I thrived and I flourished.

Okay, so obviously those are all great answers, but you have to make a living at some point, right? So my next question is, tell me when you realized this could become your profession and your career. You have to make a living at some point, but when people tell me, oh, you have to make a living at some point, you can make a living and still do what you love and chip away and lay the bricks while making money. It's very possible. I did it. I did it for years. So if you really, really want to do what you love, it takes sacrifice. Yeah. So when was the moment that you realized this could be a profession for you? Because you were working. The moment I realized that it could be a profession for me is the moment I gained momentum in it. So I would say like a couple months of gaining momentum. I knew that this, there was no doubt in my mind that this is what I was doing. Like there was never like hesitation. People were very, very weird to me when I first started. blogging. I mean, I told customers that I worked with or that I was waiting on that I wanted to start a blog, and they looked at me like I was an alien. And you have to keep in mind that I was working at a

bar where there were a lot of rich, rich, powerful wealthy men. So when a wealthy man who seems like he knows everything comes in and sits down and you tell him your idea and they look at you like you're an idiot, there was never anything that was deterring me from the goal. And that's a big part of the reason why I connected so much with Steve, who's been on our podcast. I'm not sure what episode, but scroll down and look for his podcast. It's a good one. Steve was one of the first people that like got the vision. I've always had a very clear road. Okay. But I want to give some people that are listening like at what point did you realize, okay, I can quit my day job and go all in on this because that's a leap. You know, a lot of people are sitting there. They're doing this as a side hustle. They're thinking about really going to the next level. But at the same time, they have bills and they have, you know, know, obligations that they need need to meet. And so when is it time for them to make the leap? You will know when it's time because of your bank account, I feel like. I feel like the bank account

does have to dictate when you quit your other job. That's just logical sense. But I knew well before I was making enough money that I would be able to quit in this certain amount of time. Because I think I kind of worked backwards on it. I worked backwards where I knew where I would lay every day out, every week out, every month out. So when I got to a certain point, I would be able to leave. So, and maybe that doesn't always work out like it does work out. You'll know, I mean, when you look in your bank account and it's enough, where you can leave. And I think that anyone that has hesitation about that, you're not completely committed to the goal or what you're doing. So you have to look at yourself and get real with yourself and think, am I really doing

what I'm supposed to be doing? Or what you want to be doing. Or what I want to be doing. And I'll just add another thing. And this doesn't just go for blogs. It goes for anything. If you have a job now, you can always go back to your job. Maybe not that one, but a similar job or another job. I mean, you got that job at one point. You can get another job.

So, you know, I always find it funny when people are scared to take the leap into something else. Because you can always go back. It's harder to move forward. It's easy to go back. I would rather put all my eggs in one basket than go back to working. a job in doing what I was doing. It wasn't for me. It wasn't making me happy. And I think I'm a big believer in you defining your own happiness and you're kind of the captain in your happiness. And like right now I would rather like sleep on someone's couch than go back to doing what I was doing.

You know, I don't think everybody needs to be an entrepreneur and do their own thing. me personally, I know myself so well that I know I would be so miserable at working for somebody else. And I know that because of that, I would do a terrible job. So for me, I would literally rather sleep on a couch and eat Doritos every night than work for somebody else. And it's not because there's anything wrong with that. I just know that my happiness is dictated by being able to do my own thing. And I'm completely self-aware in that regard. And so like I said, there's nothing wrong with working for somebody else if you're happy with that. There's a lot of number two. twos, threes, fours that do really, really well and thrive in company atmospheres and

structures like that. I just know myself and I know that I wouldn't. So I don't want everyone to think that you have to be this like solopreneur, entrepreneur that goes off and does your own thing. You just have to really be happy with what you are doing. Yeah, I think that that what gets me off is being the best version of myself. And I know that I'm not the best version of myself when I was working for someone else. I almost became lazy and unhappy. And I was combative. and I wasn't happy and I wasn't flourishing and I wasn't reaching my full potential. And I really did get real with myself and recognize that. And I made plans to extract myself from that environment.

Yeah. All right. We're going to take a little break. I got to go put on deodorant. But before I go, I want to tell you guys, so I'm making a new meal plan right now. It's going to be out at the end of January. And this one is going to be having to do a lot with detoxing and helping with inflammation. You guys know I had jaw surgery, which was a fucking nightmare.

So it's going to talk about de-blooding. In the meantime, though, you guys got to go to members dot the skinnyconfidential.com and use code him and her at checkout for 20% off to all listeners. You can find my full-blown meal plan there that I used for my wedding. As you know, I wrote down everything I ate and drank for seven days. And kind of put it in this little book that you can print out. It's super cute. The workouts in there are eating.

easy, they're quick, they're 27 minutes, you got some intervals. And there's a community of women that are connecting on the platform. Everyone's trying to tone up. It's a new year. So, I feel like it's perfect. Go to members.com.com and use code checkout for him and her for 20% off. Okay, it's a brand new year. And podcast one's got a whole bunch of brand new coming your way. We're talking about new shows from Layla Ali, the Forbes Network, NASCAR's Larry McGrinnels, Real Housewife Kim Zolchak, amazing scripted series like Murder, Murder, made me famous. Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott, Richard Marks, Norman Lear, and many, many more. So get on board for 2017 and download the Podcast One app now. That way you can take us with you

all year long. Happy New Year from podcast.com. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Okay, back from the break. Got some deodorant on. Not really. I can breathe again. Rude. Putting you back in the hot seat. Okay, we're going to get a little bit more personal now with the questions. Turn them up on you. You ready? I'm ready. Okay.

Third question. Do you have any insecurities? And if so, do you believe they have helped or hurt you throughout your career as a blogger and influencer? Okay, so of course I have insecurities. Everyone has insecurities. I am a huge believer, and I've wrote about this a lot on the skinny confidential, of having your insecurities fuel you. So one of my insecurities is kind of chasing perfection, meaning like whenever I do something,

like it has to be perfect. And that sounds like, oh, that's a stupid insecurity. But it's actually can be really stifling because at some point or another, it kind of holds you back. Well, let me contribute. The idea of perfection is different in everyone else's mind, which is why the perfect does not exist. Because my idea of perfect, your idea of perfect are completely different things. So perfection is not real. And I think when you say it holds you back, that's why it holds you back because you're chasing something that isn't there.

Yeah, I would totally agree with you. And when I say perfect, it's not just, it's not about the way I look, right? It's, that's not like the main thing. That's obviously one of the things. But it's also about it could be as weird as my house and workspace has to be perfect before I can start working. And that sounds so weird, but it has gotten in the way a lot of me being able to kind of focus. You see, when I get in like a bad mood, I'll like start cleaning the house in the most aggressive way. Well, it's insane. I can't even find half of my stuff because it just gets put away. Yeah, everything like has to be organized. I'm like so type A. Like everything has to be color coded in the closet. Like it's obnoxious. It's not. It's, if anyone's out there thinking, oh, that's a stupid insecurity, well, let me tell you, it's not. It gets in the way of a lot of different things. What I've tried to do with it is wrang it in and use it to create. But sometimes I just have to be like, okay, this, this is good and walk away. I think another insecurity. that I have really kind of conquered this year, it's still a work in progress, is knowing that not everyone's going to like everything that I do. So if I write a controversial post, which I love to do, it's one of my favorite things to do. It's where I thrive, I think, with the skinny confidential. Not everyone's going to like it. And, you know, when I first started blogging six years ago, mean comments would really hurt my feelings. It would get me down. I would get hard on myself.

again, that whole idea of chasing perfection. And now I try to hear the criticism. And if it's something that deserves a response, I'll respond to it. And if it's just nasty, I ignore it. And I really just do get on with my day. I was reading Tools of the Titans by Tim Ferriss recently, which we've talked about. And he was saying that he kind of dealt with that same kind of thing in the beginning when he started writing. And he was saying that he read that 10% of people that read or see your comment will end up

taking it personally and that there's another percentage that will dislike it and be like actually personally offended by it. What do you mean your comment? Or you mean like a post? Yeah, like you could write a post and there's somebody out there that will take that post personally and be offended by it. Right. 10% that he says. And it just comes with the territory and you just kind of have to be okay with that. You're right. It does come with the territory. And instead of giving it energy, I've tried to use it to fuel my energy. I think another thing that I can be insecure about is I've, you know, there's been many times where I've gotten sucked into Instagram, the comparison game. Now I don't even look at my Instagram feed. I find it just to be really, it can be negative.

It can be a negative place. And I feel like time spent comparing myself to other people is wasted time when I could be spending it on building my own brand. I think it's impossible in this social media day and age to not compare yourself to people. I mean, it's kind of just the nature of social media, the best thing, again, is just to really focus on your own shit, stay in your own lane. And I'm constantly reminding myself of that. It's a thing where I wake up every morning and I, like, kind of coach myself every morning. Well, I think it's different. I think there's just an attitude shift and a decision shift. Right. It is absolutely a decision. Where the, for me, the decision is, and this has been throughout, I think actually my whole life, I've kind of been like

this. I look at other successful people and other people that are doing. things well or people that are dressing well even and people that are traveling or people that are you know having success in relationships or whatever I look at it as a source of inspiration I think if you're looking at other people and you're getting down on yourself that's the issue so what I try to do and what's what works for me is I try to look at other people and get inspired by it and if I see somebody doing something that I really like I look at it as something to to help fuel and drive me Yeah, once you feel yourself getting sucked down that rabbit hole, take yourself out. That's what I do. I just literally remove myself. I focus my energy on something else. No, listen, there's always somebody better. There's always somebody more successful.

Yeah, there's always, there's always going to be someone er, I call it, skinny or prettier, richer, whatever. Who cares? Focus on your own stuff. Looking at other people is going to do nothing, but in my opinion, distract you. I was on a trip one time. I like to tell this story too. And it was, we were out on a boat, a friend of ours had a boat, and it was in an exotic place, and we just really felt great that we were on this boat in this exotic place, and you just think you're the man. And all of a sudden I looked over, and we were pulling up to not a boat, but literally a ship with like a water slide coming off it, and jet skis going around, and like a helicopter landing pad. And my friend looked at me and said, see, just when you think you made it, you realize you're a fucking pissant.

and I've always thought about that because instead of being like discouraged by that I got really pumped up and said okay and not that you that I'm looking to go and get a boat or a yacht or something like that I'm just saying that there's there's always some there's always something to aspire to I also think what helps me with any insecurity and believe me I have a lot is the narrative in my head and I think if I can give a tip to anyone that's listening the narrative that you're having with yourself is with you. 24 hours a day. So if your narrative is constantly negative and constantly telling you how much you suck or how you're this or how you're that or you're not enough or whatever it is, then you have the power to adjust that narrative. And like, it doesn't need to be a new year. You know, you don't need to have a resolution. You can just decide right now that you're going to change the narrative. Steve taught me that actually. And Steve, he does life coaching for huge CEOs. And he just basically said like what is your narrative and when you really examine your narrative you I feel like you can get to know yourself more and something else that's really helped me and I've talked about this

before has been yoga because you have to sit with yourself for an hour and it's very slow and I feel like you're working out your mind as opposed to your body okay and Steve was on a couple episodes back yeah so if you check it out Steve's amazing we're gonna have them on again Steve Halk he was on a I can't remember which episode but few back okay fourth question This one's a very important question to me. Oh, my God. What are the things you love about working with me? I love working with you because you're extremely pragmatic.

So when I fly off the handle and one of my creative, psycho, throw my hands in the air moments, you bring me back down. Sometimes I feel like I can be kind of a starving artist. If I feel complacent or like I'm not evolving or like I said, the kind of content I'm creating is a hundred percent what I want it to be. I can get very frustrated and I feel like you bring me down. And you're really good at it. You're actually better than anyone I know at bringing me down. And Michael is extremely logical. I don't think I'm the most emotional woman in the world. I think I'm pretty logical, but I do think that there is a side of me that's extremely emotional and you can like kind of come in and fill the gap when it comes to business. Well, I think, you know, it's this, it's the, I think you do the same for me, but it's the same thing with, you know,

know, when you could basically look at someone else's life and give them the best advice in the world, but taking your own advice is the hardest thing to do. Yeah, I would say I love how you give me perspective. Okay. Wow. What are the qualities of mind that you would change? Oh, God, here comes to your scroll. Wait, hold on you guys.

Let me pull out my diary. No, I'm just kidding. What are the qualities of yours that I wish you would change? That you would change. In the workplace? Or just in general? It could be both. I think in the workplace,

sometimes your brain thinks so quickly and it takes a while for me to wrap my head around things and you think quicker than I do. And sometimes I think that's a strength, but sometimes it's a weakness. On my part or your part? On both. Separately.

And when it doesn't come together and there's not synergy happening, that is kind of difficult. So like if we're not having synergy, with you're thinking too fast, I need to wrap my head around something. You want an answer right away. I can't give you an answer right away. It's hard to have synergy.

Yeah, sometimes I get in trouble because I don't want to say I think faster than other people because that makes me sound like a weirdo. It's not that I'm thinking faster. It's that I process things in a way where, and this comes from the book managing oneself that I learn this.

There's different types of learners in the world. There's listening learners. There's speaking learners. There's reading learners. There's visual learners. Yeah, that's kind of reading visual. Same thing. What I've realized about myself is I'm kind of a hybrid

between a speaking and reading learner. Sometimes I will just do a meeting with you and you think I'm cutting you off, but I'm speaking because that's actually how I'm processing what you're saying and that's actually how I'm... It's like you're communicating for me. Yes, but it's just because I learn in a way where when I say it out loud and hear myself say it,

that I kind of processed information. So sometimes we have a disconnect there, but I can understand why you would think, it's not that I'm thinking so fast, it's that I'm processing. My form of communication, obviously, is writing. That's how I communicate. It's like the most efficient way to communicate for me.

Yours, I would say, is more speaking. So sometimes there's like a kind of a disconnect there. Okay. What is the hardest part of working with me? Isn't this the same question? No, because I think you've talked about the qualities, but what is the actual challenge of working with me? The biggest challenge that I've had is being able, and this is kind of cliche, but to being able to separate business like outside the bedroom. Like sometimes we'll come home and it's like 11 o'clock at night and we're both exhausted and I want to just make dinner and listen to a podcast and Michael wants to talk about business.

And that's been the biggest challenge, definitely. And we still got to work on that. I need to learn how to turn it off. Yeah, you got to turn it off. I mean, one time I remember we were laying in bed, it was like 1145 and you started talking. I mean, I'm trying to watch my show, like Sons of Anarchy was on. I need, I am like very much the type of person that needs to disconnect so I can reconnect. Meaning like, I need to turn my off switch off or I am not recharged.

And when I don't feel recharged, I'm not 100% the best person that I can be. So, like, when I come home and I'm like doing my thing and my thing and my. flow with my like music and my oils and like my show and I have like my hummus platter like I need to just like take it down a notch and Michael is more um hyped up go go go go go go and you're like that when we travel too if you really want to know duly noted good tattoo it on your ass final question when we have kids and I say when because we we need to have kids at some point you know you're looking at me all crazy here. But yes, when we have kids, what qualities of mine do you hope they get and what qualities of yours do you hope they get? Okay, these questions are your questions.

Yeah, I want to, these are questions that I'd like to know. We have to do another like, ask us thing without your questions. Yeah, I'd like to, these are questions mostly selfishly for me. Okay. Um, but this actually, this question was actually submitted by a listener. Really? Yes. I'd love to know their name and their social security number. I actually have it screenshoted. Okay. But I don't want to put anyone on blast. Why? I'm sure that. love it. When we have kids, I hope that they get my sense of humor. Why, mine's better. No. No, no, no. That was learned. I hope they get my sense of humor, but I hope that they get your absolute love for reading. You're constantly wanting to learn new things. When you travel, you want to go to museums,

you want to just kind of immerse yourself in history. I love that about you. I hope they can get that from you. I also hope that they get your ass, because you have the best ass I've ever seen. Okay. I hope that if we have a boy, they get your head of hair. Okay. I hope if we have a girl, they get my charming, flawless, witty personality. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I hope that they get my love of writing, and I hope that they get a lot of qualities from my grandma and our parents. Which qualities from our parents? Because that's a whole...

That's a whole episode. That's a whole thing. A lot of qualities. I hope that mutually they get our love for dogs. Michael and I love dogs. Like, I don't think there's anything we love more than dogs. Which qualities of mine do you not want them to get? Your impatience, the way you travel. Wait, wait, wait, wait, I can't deal with two kids running around, running through the airport. I'm not doing that. In patience in what context?

There's so much. There's so much. That's a whole... I'm pretty patient. You are not patient. Lauren, I have been with you now for this long, and let me tell everybody listening, it takes the most patient man in the world to be with you. Why haven't you figured out, though, that you have to tell me a half an hour before the time? Okay. Which qualities of yours do you not want them to get?

I probably would not want them to get that whole chasing perfection thing. I would want them to just thrive and, like, just be enough with what they are. I also would probably not want them to get the whole year that I was 21. Yeah. Let's remove that year from... I will remove the years from 15 to 23 for me. Yeah. I think that...

So eight years of my life, I would remove... This is kind of a weird one. From them. I wouldn't... I don't like how I stay up late. Like, I can't stand that about myself. I wish I could go. to bed earlier and be like a super early riser.

Then go to bed earlier. No, Michael. Oh, Michael's going to give me like a life coach session right now. No, it's very hard for me to go to bed early. We've talked about Jocko Willink on this podcast before. And if you haven't heard his podcast, it's called Jocko podcast. He's a really, really interesting guy, ex-Navy SEAL retired now, really big badass. And he says that there was a question that was asked of him.

It says, what do you need to do to be more mentally. tougher. And his answer was, be tougher. Okay. So, all right. Make the decision. I'm going to go to bed early tonight with your beef stew that you made me. I did make beef stew. He made beef stew. I think another thing that I just want to say is that, and that's kind of like sums up

the whole podcast too, is that I have really bad anxiety. I think that you've kind of understood it a little more this year. I have like crippling anxiety sometimes. So if we have a kid, I wouldn't wish anxiety on anyone. anxiety is caused by the fear of the future, right? And for multiple things. And I think everybody has anxiety. I actually don't agree with you on that.

Because it could be also from fear of the past. Yeah, it could be from both. And so there was a quote that I read by one of the Stoic philosophers, Seneca, today. And I can't, I'm trying to remember off the top of my head. Give me a second to remember it. It was, what is it? Oh, here it is. Okay, it was two elements, but must therefore be rooted out once and for all.

The fear of future suffering and the recollection of past suffering, since the latter no longer concerns me and the former concerns me not yet. So that's saying to just be present. Yes. Okay. The Dalai Lama says either you can do something about it, in which case there's nothing to worry about, or you can't do something about it, or you can't do something about it, in which case there's also nothing to worry about it, in which case there's also nothing to worry to worry. worry about. So I can't do anything about my B.O. And my deodorant. There's nothing I can do. So I guess I'm just going to suffer. Yeah. Don't have anxiety about it. Okay, everyone knows that the world shops online now. And if you don't, you're weird. People only go to malls to drop the kids off

or buy a super pretzel, maybe see a movie. And of course, as you know, Amazon is the biggest online mall in the universe. But did you know that every time you use Amazon, you can be helping us keep this podcast going. That's right. If you use our Amazon banner, when you shop, a small amount of the purchase goes directly to help support this podcast at no extra cost to you. Okay, so here's how you do it. Go to podcast one.com and click on the killer deals link. Click on our show logo and you'll see Amazon and all of our sponsors. Then when you click the link, bookmark it, so it's super easy to use the next time. It's a cool way you can help us keep doing this show every week. All right, you guys. Before we want to go, we just want to take a minute to thank you and all the great

sponsors. You guys are amazing. You always support our podcast. The comments that I've been getting on Instagram from the Snapchat giveaway are insane. You guys are really what keeps the show growing and you guys get us so excited to podcast every week. And we will continue to do that on a weekly basis for free, bringing you lots of entertainment and a couple of cool guests coming up. So thank you for downloading, subscribing, and supporting the show. Remember to send in your questions to Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag ask him and her, send us a question on our snaps, Lauren Everts, and, of course, Michael Bostic. You love that one, don't you? Yep.

Or email us at podcast at the skinny confidential.com. And if you have any deodorant recommendations that are actually legit and all natural, please tweet them to me at Lauren Everett. I would really, really appreciate it. All right, we're going to be doing more call-in soon, so make sure you go to the podcast page on the Skinny Confidential and just fill out the little box there. We'd love to have you guys on the show. And with that, we are off to eat Michael's famous. beef stew. I made an amazing beef stew.

I don't know about this. It's been in the crock pot all day, simmering. I thought you were going to say it's been in the family for decades. Well, it kind of has been, actually. Your dad's called 10 times to check on the beef stew recipe. All right, you guys, with that, we are out. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential him and her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcast.1.com or subscribe now on the podcast 1 app.