The Bossticks - #52: One Year w Adderal and Compliments host Annabelle DeSisto and show regular Taylor "The Bare Naked Cucucumber" O'Connor - Listener Call-Ins, Work Life Relationship Balance, First Job out of College

Episode Date: February 28, 2017

Lauryn & Michael are celebrating one year of podcasting and taking listener calls. They discuss how to gauge when it's the right time to leave your day-job to go full force into your own business, dealing with anxiety over starting your first job out of college, balancing work life with a relationship, and Annabelle DeSisto host of the podcast "Adderall and Compliments" gives a peek into her date with Taylor the "Bare Naked Cucumber." To Listen to Adderall and Compliments click HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

This episode is brought to you by 5-4 Club. Okay, boys and girls, if you want to look really suave, really good at affordable prices, and you don't want to take the time to shop online or go to the mall, I have the solution for you, and it's 5-4 Club. It's a Malay-based fashion brand that delivers curated items for $60 a month. So for just $60 a month, you get two to four seasonally curated items to help build up a balanced wardrobe. If you're a member of 5-4 club, you get an exclusive. exclusive 50% discount right off the bat on any item off the site that doesn't come in the box.

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curious as to how easy 54 club really is, go to 54Club.com and use promo code Skinny at signup and get a double package for your first month. That's a $240 value for only $60. This offer expires on March 31st, 2017, so act quick. Again, that's 54Club.com promo code skinny. The following program is a podcast1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur.

A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. We made it. What episode? One year, episode 52, 52 weeks of perfecting the craft. Still a long way to go.

I can't believe I haven't fucking killed you yet. You just try it, see what happens. Honestly, though, like, I can't believe we've made it a year. Yeah, I don't want to get too, like, you know, it's just a year, it's good, but I don't want to get too, you know, excited about it. But at the same time, who would have thought we would have made it this long? How many fights and car rides later is this? I don't know, I got some battle scars. I have to go talk to somebody.

We were just talking about getting a, you know, somebody to talk to, a professional, somebody with a couch that I can go lay down on and just vent my problems. And, you know, I've been holding a lot in, to be honest. Yeah, I'd like him to be a guy. So I always win every fight. We are back with the skinny confidential him and her podcast. It's one year we're celebrating. Kevin, our producer, has been amazing. I want to shout him out.

He just really does a good job, and he's cute and single. What's your Instagram handle if people want to check you out and scope? underscore. Oh. Heavy underscore kev. I hate an underscore. Erica. I don't love an underscore.

So anyways, we also wanted this. thank Taylor and Mimi for coming up here with us. Jordan, people that were involved in the beginning. Yes, Jordan. All the guests. All the guests. We're going to have a lot more. I want to thank the Academy.

Yeah. I want to thank the Podcast Academy. I never thought that we would win podcasts of the Century, but here we are. And go projectile vomit in the bathroom. So anyways, today we are going to go have a bite to eat after this. We're going to go over to the Ivy. It's one of the cutest restaurants in L.A. I feel like it's a little bit cliche to say that, but it is really cute.

I'm not such a big fan. Why? I like it. You know, I like it. Why? No, I mean, it's good. What do you prefer, Michael? I like the Beverly Hills Hotel.

I think that's nice. Okay. I mean, he's a lot of hype, you know? I just really like the chocolate chip cookies, and they make the best margarita, and they have to die for crab cake. The last time we got cookies, I couldn't find my. and I showed up to work and Taylor took my box in all the cookies. I think I took the box actually.

One of you took the box. It might have been me, actually. But before we go to lunch today, we're taking as many Collins as possible because everybody listening is, you know, what's made this show happen. It's what keeps you and I doing it. And without everybody out there, you know, we wouldn't be where we are, which is, you know, here. Yeah, I think it's really fitting on the year. anniversary of our podcast to just take a second to thank you guys for listening and

subscribing. You guys are amazing and you're the only reason that we have this platform. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your snap messages, your emails. You guys are incredible. Reviews. Reviews.

Everything that you guys have done to support the podcast. We love you. And with that, I'm going to have some shy tea. And we're going to get into some calls. So far in 2017, Forbes and Podcast 1 have already launched three highly acclaimed shows. The interview with Steve Bertone Features the business world's most interesting names Like Adam Carolla, Twitter founder Sean Rad

And Hollywood's own Jessica Alba So I spent a lot of my childhood in hospital and hospital beds Under 30 with Steve Goldblum talks to the movers and shaker Like Nation Builder CEO Jim Gilliam An NFL big game winner Martellis Bennett Guys are afraid to be themselves because they're marketing due And the list with Art of Charms, Jordan Harbinger We'll get behind the scenes insight and information

That doesn't make the print cut Next up sports money with Mike Ozaney and talking to team owners, athletes, and industry leaders about the enterprise and money behind Supreme Athletic Competition. Forbes on Podcast 1, not just entertaining, informative. Subscribe now at iTunes, and don't forget to rate, review, and share. This is The Skinny Confidential, him and her. Okay, so we have Ariana from New Jersey as our first caller. Hi, Ariana, it's Lauren and Michael from the Skinny Confidential.

Welcome to the show. Hi. Hi, how are you? Oh, my God. Hi. I just found out about your podcast. and I've been binge listening ever since. Thank you so much for the support.

That's so nice of you. You're not sick of us yet? No problem. No, not at all. I love it. It's very motivating. Thank you. Thank you.

You're our first caller, so we're really excited to have you kick it off. So excited. I'm so excited. I just caught your Snapchat and saw that. I love it. I love it. We kind of did that last minute,

but what else is new? So, what's the question? So I recently, like last week just got offered a new job in like the career that I went to school for. I just recently graduated from college. I'm a little nervous to start. I was just wondering if you give me any tips, advice for starting my first job in my career. Okay. First, what are you nervous about specifically? I think just like jump starting my career and just wanting to like do good and like do the best that I can and I just have like anxiety towards it. Well first, let me tell you this. If everything goes to

hell in a hand basket, which I'm sure it will not. You're going to be exactly where you are right now. So things are going fine right now. Everything will be fine. I would go in full force, two feet ahead, be confident, learn whatever you can, listen, speak with those around you. I wouldn't be so nervous. I would lead with confidence and just understand that if shit really hits the fan, you're where you are right now and you found a job right now. you can always look for another job, but I think you'll do great. I did a chapter in my book called Fake It Until You Make It, and I think that that mentality really applies to a new job. I think you need to walk in there and just own it and fake it, even if you have to.

Don't walk in and let anyone know you have anxiety. I think that within a week you'll feel really comfortable there and you'll see if it's a good fit for you and you'll be able to thrive and flourish. but it sounds like you're already on an amazing path at a young age. So I think you should be proud of yourself and cut yourself some slack and just go in there and put your blinders on and do your thing. And the last thing I would say is when starting a new job, try not to just do what's asked. If you try to go above and beyond and do more, I think a lot of people go in and they say, what can this company do for me?

I would kind of go in the other approach and say, what can I do for this company and add even more value than they're looking for? That's how you're going to move up quick. Yes, adding value is the most important thing. I always tell the girls that work with me that. When they're adding value, it just makes it a whole different experience with an employee. Thank you. That's great advice.

Thank you so much. I feel so much better. Yeah, and I want to send you the bombshell body meal plan. So email me at Lauren at the Skinny Confidential. It's Lauren with the Y at Lauren at the skinny confidential. Oh my God. Thank you so much. No worries.

I'm so excited right now. And I have a long commute, so I will be binge listening to all your episodes on my way there to work. Thank you. Thank you so much for the support. Good luck. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Thank you so much, Ariana, for the call. We're about to jump into our next caller. Okay, we have Erica from San Diego. Hi, Erica. It's Lauren and Michael. Hi, Lauren and Michael. And Erica, she's there. Erica's in the background. How are you? Howdy, howdy. I'm good. I'm trying to stay warm over here in San Diego right now. The rain just started. I know. It's raining so. hard. It's so windy.

Us San Diegoans don't know what to do when the rain comes. Michael. I know. I'm always freezing. You too. Thank you so much for calling. Thank you for the support. We're excited to get into your question. You can get right into it if you want. Yeah, of course. So I've been wanting to start a business for a really long time. I've been following you guys for a while and all of your advice. My biggest concern or my fear with starting a business is kind of not having anyone know that my business exists.

So what would you guys recommend if I had like a $2,000 budget for marketing? First of all, everyone starts somewhere. No one knew my business existed when I launched it either. So the good news is that no one knows any business. Everyone starts from the same spot. Do you know what I mean? So don't be fearful of that. The worst mistake you can make there is not get started because of that reason.

That's leading with fear. So I definitely would just rip the Band-Aid off with that and not. even be focused on that at all. I think also it's not the way that you want to go into your business is being fearful. I think you want to lead with a different kind of energy. So I wouldn't have any fear towards no one knowing what your business is because that's just going to take time to get out there. And the good news is you have $2,000 towards marketing. I didn't have anything towards marketing. So you already have a big one up there, don't you think, honey? Yeah, but I actually wouldn't spend a dollar of that on marketing in the beginning. I would reinvest it into the business.

and actually work on building. Can I ask what type of business it is? Are you ready to talk about that? Yeah, I do. So I'm actually kind of trying to start to at the same time. One's like a content creation. And then the other one, like a boutique agency. And then the other one is for clothing for women in the science engineering field.

Okay. So pick one. And I'm blunt and quick with that because I think the problem is a lot of people go and they try to spread themselves too thin. and if you're trying to launch a clothing business on one hand and a content creation on the other, a lot of your focus is going to be split, and I think you're going to run into a lot of difficulty.

So what I try to do, there's a really good book. I recommend everyone called The One Thing, and it basically talks about honing in on one thing. I would pick one, whichever one you feel more passionately about and whichever one you think you can execute on better, and start with that. And I would invest that full 2,000 into building that business. don't worry about marketing it to start.

Just get started. Start slowly getting clients or customers. They will do a lot of the marketing for you. In order to reach them, though, you need to have a solid foundation. And I think a lot of times people launch and they get ahead of themselves with their marketing plan. You really need to refine this business and make sure that when you get it in front of a client or you get it in front of a customer, you're ready to sell or close that client. And we're kind of going back and forth because we're talking about either clothing or content creation. but I would definitely pick one.

I would launch it tomorrow. And I would think A to B instead of A to Z, meaning what can you actually complete today? Don't worry so much about what you're going to do down the line. Worry about what you can actually control and what you can actually complete today. Okay. Perfect. And then I have another short question for you guys. If you have the funds to say quit your day job and dedicate three months to starting a business,

knowing that three months from now you could not be profitable or it would fail or whatever, would you guys do it or would you recommend staying in your day job until I was profitable? I feel like we're going to have different answers here. Personally, I think I don't know what your day job is if it's nine to five. I'm the type of person that when I was working, I was also working at night because I had such a niche goal that I wanted to accomplish that to me, I just worked at a bar, bartended, came home, you know, worked on the skinny confidential, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. And that really worked for me because there was no excuse. It's every single day. It's discipline. But I don't know if you're the type of

person that wants to come home after a day job and work. You kind of have to look at yourself in the mirror and just see like what kind of person you are. Can you come home after work and work some more on something else? If you can, then that's what I would do. I think it comes down. to what you're willing to sacrifice. Are you willing to sacrifice weekends and social hours and dates and time with friends? Because if you are, if you're willing to sacrifice that time, I would do both. You know, everybody has the same 24 hours in the day. You know, even if you work a 9 to 5, you still have the hours between, you know,

eight and two in the morning that you can work on your other business. And that's what I would recommend doing. I wouldn't abandon ship on something. And then also you can kind of see, hey, I like working on this business. But again, it's going to come down to personal choice. Are you willing to make sacrifices? Are you willing to put in the time? You know, it's not supposed to be easy.

But no one to get out, too. Like, I really gauged when it was best for me to leave my bartending and Pure Bar and Pilate's job to work full time on the skinny confidential. So you really have to know when it's enough is enough and when it's time to make a move. I would recommend doing as much as you can in the starter phase. Burn the candle at both ends. You sound really young. Use your energy.

put it towards building your business and your day job and just really, really run it day after day after day. Have something in your calendar the second you get home that says from this hour to this hour to this hour to this hour that you are working on your business and make it like a scheduled routine that really, really helps. Don't miss a day. Like make a commitment there. And you'll be surprised how quickly that you'll move from your day job to pursuing what you want to do full time is your passion. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's good to know too just because, you know, I'm not super happy in my day job, which is kind of the motivation to kind of sacrifice everything and put 100% of my effort and whatnot into starting a business. So, yeah. It sounds like you have the right mindset,

and we wish you a ton of luck. It sounds like you're going to do really, really well. I would just keep working every single day. And I also, before you go, want to send you the skinny confidential meal plan. So can you email me, Lauren at the skinnyconfidential.com. Yes, perfect. Thank you so much. And thank you, Michael, for your input as well. When you launch your business, email me at Michael at bostickmedia.com, and I'll take a look at it and give you a couple tips. Awesome. Thank you guys so much.

Thank you. Good luck. Thank you, Erica, for calling in. Our next caller is someone who is quite special. Annabel from Adderall and Compliments is going to call in and give us the lowdown on her date with Mr. Bear Naked Kukkah. We're so glad you called in. We're waiting with extreme anticipation to hear how Taylor did on his date.

He did great. You raised him very well. I hate the word great, though. I feel like that's like a mediocre word. Is it a mediocre date? No, no, I do nothing mediocre. It's either awful or it's amazing. He did great.

Okay, so does he get a second date? Yes, we're going to date. and Busters. The weekend stole my date idea. Tell us about what you guys did because everyone is asking, and we will have you on the podcast again to discuss, but just give us a little snippet of what Tatei did. Well, he picked me up. I mean, he came to watch the podcast. We went to the color lounge, which was really nice. We sat right by the piano, so it wasn't exactly by Sonobin music, but still really good. I think he would have liked it, Lauren. Okay. We talked about a lot.

We talked about a lot of different things, not your regular, boring stuff. He talked on a date. He was probably like one of the most fun things. He wouldn't stop talking about how he wooed you with his stories about being a three-year-old karate master. Oh, yeah. I saw the picture. He told me about his sense. Did he tell you about Katte?

Let me tell you something. I don't know what a 30-year-old man's doing with pictures himself at three years old. Was that alarming at all? He did have them rather quickly. It was, he didn't. not have to search long on his phone. Like, for example, if I had to pull up a picture of me even from, like, college, I have to scroll so deep into my photos that it would take me a full 15 minutes to get there.

The fact that he had this karate photo ready to go, did that set off alarms? I like to think he was prepared. Did he show you the picture of when he danced ballet in the Nutcracker and he was thin? No. Maybe he's saving that as the second date prize. I don't know like maybe that's the teaser he doesn't that up I guess on the first date okay so okay so we haven't seen the ballet picture hopefully he'll save that Taylor take note um I also want to know about this valentine that he surprised you with on the podcast was that a real surprise it was I honestly if you listen to it I thought it was Megan uh reading a thing that she wrote to me as like a quiz

because she was giving me a relationship quit during it so I thought it was like a test of how would react to somebody right in the at Valentine. But it was actually him. Wow. Did you pen that yourself, Taylor? Oh, he did. He penned it himself. How long did that take you? I put some effort to there. Did you do that while you were on the clock or off the clock?

That was at home. Wink, wink, wink. Lye, lie. Okay, so what is Taylor? Taylor's going to take you to David Buster's next because Buster's daughter reached out to us, which was kind of amazing. I know the Gretchen Wieners of David Buster. reached out to us. I died.

Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Taylor feels like a celebrity. He just told me that we need to get her the information, ASAP. I don't think he'll beat you, though, at the games. I feel like you'll beat him. If you're karate and ballet when you're younger, you know, I don't know if you're going to be good at throwing a ball. I did used to go to the arcade every week when I was younger, but I would just make my dad play all the games for me. So I'm actually just always had people play stuff for me. So I don't know how good I am. Yeah, and also you have really long nails, so that's going to be hard. So I'm really interested to see who's going to win. Well, if anyone can do it, Finn from the Nutcracker can do it. Are you going to bring your

point shoes? Okay, well, Taylor's very, very excited for your next date. He can hardly wait. He's shaking a little bit right now. He's a little nervous over there. He's blushing in the corner. I think he's scrolling through his phone looking for a four-year-old moment, but He's very popular. I've gotten more messages about Taylor than I've gotten anything else on the podcast. Yeah, a lot of people are curious about it. Oh, God. Yeah, he's very popular.

I honestly, I was like, I would just do better just auction him off to somebody. Oh. No, he wants you. He said that you made him laugh. You were funny. And you guys, he made you have a cocktail. You're the first girl that hasn't ran away when he showed the karate photos. So you're in.

Have you seen his hashtags on those? They're even better than the voter. He put it on Instagram and hashtagged up a storm. Yeah, he has some interesting. Almost broke the platform. Interesting hashtags. I got to talk to me about that. Okay, well, I'm really glad you guys had fun on your date.

I know you guys sat next to Mariah Carey, which is kind of cool, which is amazing because you just played that clip on your own podcast. But we want to hear more about your date, so you'll have to come on one time when he's on the podcast. Yes, please. You'd be very, very proud of him, Lauren. That's the date I've had. Okay. I'm kind of judging him, but, well, I don't know about the karate picture, but can't all be perfect. I promise. He didn't know me to say any of this. He was amazing. Did he make you split the check, or did, what do you do there? Oh, no, we didn't pay the check. Okay, he paid. Oh, you guys just walked out.

Yeah, that's what made it so much fun. He karate chopped the matri-D and you guys were out of there. You know he only made it to Red Belt, right? He's lucky he didn't come up against me. I think I made it to green. Oh, my God. Please let this be the next physical challenge that you guys have. Oh, yeah. All right.

Well, we'll have you on our podcast soon, and I'll text you later about tonight. Awesome. Thanks for calling in. Bye, guys. Thank you, Annabelle, for calling and telling us stories about Finn, my karate sidekick. Before we get into our next caller,

I want to talk about Blue Apron. Okay, so I have a new Blue Apron favorite, and I feel like Michael likes it, too, so it's great. It's the vegetable, chili, and baked sweet potatoes with crispy tortilla strips. You might as well call me Michael Ramsey because I am cooking up a storm. Oh, my God. Blue Apron makes him think like he's a chef or something. He actually thinks he's a chef. I am a chef, no.

Okay, all right. Well. Thanks to Blue Apron. You think anybody can just whip up a salmon piccata out of nowhere? Well, you seem to be able to do it with Blue Apron, so that's pretty stunning. Or a spicy shrimp coconut curry? Because I'm whipping up all those. Yeah, you've been pretty good.

I feel like we need to get you an actual apron with your name on it. And you can cook all Blue Apron's food in the apron on the Snapchat. I should say the chef is at work. Okay, all right. If you guys don't know what Blue Apron is, it's the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country. And it's very affordable, delivered right to your door, quality ingredients, portion controlled, measured out, simple, doesn't take a lot of thought. Very TSC because the beef, the chicken, and the pork come from responsibly raised animals. I love that part.

And freshness is guaranteed. Yeah, and basically it's amazing because you get home and you have this beautiful box of food all pre-portioned out, ready to cook. You don't have to go to the grocery store and get six million ingredients that you don't. end up using and you don't have to throw away and waste food and waste money and waste time. I just like it because it's so efficient. It's affordable, a lot of variety, flexible, easy, and guaranteed. So check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blue apron.com slash him and her.

You will love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home cooked meals with blue apron. So don't wait. That's blue apron.com slash him and her. Now we have Mary Helen from Texas A&M. Hi, you have Lauren and Michael here. Hey, holy shit. I didn't think I'd get through. Yay, I'm so excited.

Welcome to the show. Oh, God. Thank you, y'all. So we want to hop right into your question so you can just go for it. Okay. I'm at Texas A&M and I'm graduating after this semester. so that's pretty exciting. But unlike most of my friends, I don't have a full-time job lined up.

I'm going to be moving out to California to try to model. I have some meetings with agencies during spring break and stuff. And so it's exciting and it's a leap and this is the time to do it. And I know you'll give this advice like all the time, but I would love to literally hear your insights to what I'm doing because it's kind of strange. I think it's amazing. huge risk taker and I would 100% be doing what you're doing. I mean, I think it's great. I think it's a

perfect time to put yourself out there. You're going to make the move. You're going to do something different than what everyone else is doing. I'm a really big fan of going against what everyone else is doing because I think that not everything works for everyone. So I think you should be very excited about it. I think you should put the right energy out there that's not fearful. That's just really good energy that this is going to work out. And I think every single day, that you're in LA, you should be able to lay your head down on the pillow and think that you did something that was working towards your goal that day. So what I do with the skinny confidential and when I started the skinny confidential is every night I would lay my head down on the pillow

and I still do this today. And I think, what did I do today to build my brand? And I think with you, modeling is building your own personal brand. So if you're going to make the move and you're going to come all the way to California, I think every single day you should be doing something that's building that personal brand. Yeah, and I think, you know, also I think, you know, coming, going outside of your shell and moving to California, you never know what opportunities that's going to bring. You know, a lot of the things I've done in my life, I never thought I would be doing. So as long as you're open to those experiences and you're open to new things, who knows,

maybe trying to model leads you somewhere you don't even know you can go. I also think with modeling, too, you should keep this in mind that a lot of models come out to L.A. and they get caught up in the party scene here, or they get. caught maybe doing things they kind of didn't plan on doing. And I think you should just really have laser focus and not let any outside things like drinking or partying or staying out late affect why you're here. Yeah, for sure. You all have beautiful advice. I mean, I definitely am going to look for a real job too, but I have like nothing holding me down. Like, this is the time to do it. Yeah, I think create a beautiful portfolio.

with photos that are really aesthetically pleasing. I think that's really important as a model. I'm sure you already know that to have a beautiful ZD card. I would have an online Zed card too, like a PDF that you can, there's just like a very nice PDF that has photos of your face, photos of your body, all different kinds of photos. And just really think about it as branding yourself as a model because I think that's how these models nowadays are standing out on social media.

They're branding themselves. And it makes such a difference in the modeling world, I think. what else. I think, I think, and this is, maybe this will be controversial, but I think a lot of people, they set up a plan B, or they'll say things like in this case, like, I'll get a real job. I think that you should be so focused and so focused on what you're trying to do that there really is no option for plan B. I think if you set yourself up to say, you know, if this doesn't work, I'll do this. It's kind of like giving yourself an out when it doesn't work right away. And I can guarantee you that, you know, there's going to be some bumps in the road that you're going to have to contend with.

And I think if you have that kind of like, oh, plan B, like fallback, I don't have to, you know, if this doesn't work, I can do this. It kind of, it makes it so that it's difficult to actually succeed with your overall goal. I think if you kind of don't give yourself that safety net, you're going to be much more focused and you're going to be much more persistent. So I would kind of look at it as, hey, this absolutely has to happen. And if it doesn't happen, I don't have a plan B. Does that make sense? Yeah, totally. That's actually really fucking awesome.

And lastly, before we go also, I want to tell you that I'm seeing a trend happening right now with social media. It's so important to have a presence as a model on social media. You can't just be a pretty face anymore. You have to show your personality. You have to show behind the scenes. You have to show video. And what's happening is that these brands want to work with these girls that are doing that because it gives their brand clout.

So it's really important, I think, as a model when you're building your brand, I think, what can you bring to other brands that's valuable. So really think about how you're going to lay your social media out. Don't think that just because you're modeling that you don't need to pay attention to that. There's so many great examples on Instagram of people that have utilized social media to really build their own personal brand and it's skyrocket their modeling career. Yeah, you're right. It's like super important.

I think that you'll do great and we wish you so much luck. And whenever you can, can you email me at Lauren at the skinny confidential.com because I want to send you my meal plan. Oh my gosh. Yeah, for sure. I'll shoot you an email. Thank you all so much. Good luck. I'm sure you'll kill it. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Mary Helen, thanks for calling. Let's get into the next caller. Is this Ken? Yep. Ken, welcome to the show. Hey, how you doing? What's up, brother? I got a male caller. I'm pretty pumped. Hi, Ken.

How you doing? Good. How are you? Good, good. My girlfriend, I listened to your guys podcast all the time, so she told me to call in, and maybe I could get some advice for you guys. I finally, I knew there was a male out there listening. I knew it. Oh, you got one. I am pumped. Yep, you and his dad.

Yeah. So what can I do for you, brother? Well, basically that question is how you guys balance your work-life relationship. I'm a business owner as well. I run a finance company. It takes majority of my time up. And I put my relationship kind of in the back burner as far as moving forward. We've been together for a while as far as getting married and stuff like that. And I feel like I can't fully commit because I want to focus on my business and creating, you know, basically a life for us.

And maybe some tips on how you guys did it. First, Ken, do you have a gun to your head right now? And do you need me to call someone for help? No, I do not. All right. I think it's difficult, right? Like, you're ambitious. You're trying to get shit done.

You know, you've got to balance the relationship at the same time. I think there needs to be, what Lauren and I did is what we did, we call it a strategic future where we kind of sat down one day. And really, this thing took 12 hours and, you know, sometimes shit with women takes a long time. And we literally had to sit there for hours and hours and come up with a plan of where we were both committed to go and what we were both committed to do. and I think if that conversation doesn't take place

and if you're not like, hey, you know, these are my ambitions and this is what I want to do and this is what I want to get out of my work and you don't kind of express those to her and have her get on the same page. You're going to run into some trouble because she's sitting there. She has needs. But at the same time, you have your own needs and ambitions.

So I think the first step is actually taking the time to sit down and say, look, this is what I want to do. This is what you want to do. Let's figure out a way where we can come to a common ground and make it work for both of us. But at the same time, you have to be willing to compromise reasonably. I think that when you asked how we balance stuff, we don't.

We definitely fight. I always say this. Anything good that's ever happened in my life has been a lot of fucking work. And that includes our relationship. I mean, it's a lot of like figuring out, you know, when you go right, she needs to go left. You have to like figure out that kind of finesse within the relationship. I think what's worked for me and Michael really well is,

we both are on the same page with the bigger picture. So we're both committed, like Michael said, to the same common goal. A conversation, it sounds like, needs to be had where you let her know that it has nothing to do with her. You just want to focus on your business, whether you're dating you know, Giselle or her or whoever. That's the goal for you and that's where you want to put your energy in focus. And if she can't understand that, then that's another conversation. but it sounds to me like you guys can make it work. And also, you know, to compromise too and put aside, you know, an extra hour where you put your phone away and just really focus on only the relationship.

I would actually go ahead and time block it in your calendar. I know that sounds crazy, but Michael and I will sometimes put like date night or Lauren and Michael read together in our calendar. So it's like a set date. I think that really helps because. then it feels like it's part of the plan. It's part of the common goal. But I will say Michael and I put a lot of energy into each of our businesses,

and that's definitely something and one of the reasons why I think we work, because we both want to put that focus in our businesses. I think that makes a lot of sense. I think personally I don't share enough about my big vision because you're so focused on the task at hand. And when you're running a small business, regardless of how big it is, if you're doing, you know, a million or 10 million, things change so much on a week to month basis.

And sometimes I just feel like I don't even know what's going to happen the next couple months. So it's hard for me to kind of hone in on that. But that kind of makes sense as far as, you know, my big plan, keep her in the dark and me staying focused. So that doesn't make sense. Yeah, I got a buddy, a really good friend of mine. I won't name him, but he gets really laser focused, kind of like you. And he kind of goes off on his own.

And the problem is he doesn't tell his partner what he's doing. And so when you don't have that communication, you're kind of just like, what the hell's going on? But if you say, hey, listen, this is what's going on. This is what I'm coming from. This is what I'm trying to accomplish. I think you won't have as many problems. You know, communication is a big thing. Just a lot of people neglect it.

Yeah, I think communication's definitely where you start. And you just let her know that your goal is to be focused on your business right now. That's the chapter in the season that you're in right now. I think really important it sounds like to me the more and more I talk with you is that you guys should sit down and actually do a strategic future, meaning like you should sit down for like, take five hours one day, get a lot of coffee and sit down and show her what you're committed to building and what you're committed to doing. And also let her know how much of your time you're willing to spend towards her. She needs to know that too. Are you willing to spend three hours a day, one hour a day,

two hours a week? I don't know whatever that is. Like that needs to be communicated so there's no gray area. I appreciate the time, guys, and I love your podcast, and keep up a good work. Thank you so much, Ken. It was nice to meet you. Thanks, brother. I always knew there was one guy out there. Yep. I always knew it.

Good time, guys. Have a good one. You too. None of you believe me. I told you I had one male listener, and he called, and I delivered. And he delivered. Okay. And here we are.

And we're getting on to our next caller, who is known to us as just dance 12. I know this because we talk on Snapchat a lot. Hi. Hi, is this Warren? Yes, I'm so excited to be talking to you. I feel like we talk over Snapchat all the time. We're like best snap buddies. Hi, Michael.

Oh my God, this is like, I don't really care for celebrities, but this is like my heart's racing. I love you guys. Oh my God, we love you. Seriously, I talk to you more than I talk to Michael. I feel like when I talk about you guys to my friends, because there's so much just value and all the stuff I talk to you guys about. I say, like, my friend, or, like, my friend just got married in Kauvel, or, like, my friend,

chihuahuas are so precious. You are my friend. No, I'm dead serious. I feel like I talk to you every day. I text you more on Snapchat than I text most of my family. Yeah, I love you guys. You guys, wow, this is so surreal. And the start kind of the line, because I know we were trying to talk.

Oh, my God, I'm so nervous. I know, because we've been talking about having you on the podcast forever. So you can ask anything and everything, go for it. I know that you're building a business right now. Yeah, so a little bit about, so I have finally launched my South Asian lifestyle blog. I'm the first generation. My parents are from India. That is a blessing as well as a challenge, and there's a huge white space in terms of

South Asian blogs, lifestyle blogs, but there's a ton of South Asian influences killing it. So for the past two and a half years, I've had a similar journey to yours more, and I was like, I want a blog, but I don't know. My voice, it's like, you took a while to launch. I did, too. And then I did a yoga teacher training and everything kind of aligned. So I was like a South Asian lifestyle blog because I kind of tested social media a little bit to see what I'd like to post about. And I was like, you really post about lifestyle.

So you should do a South Asian lifestyle blog. So it's called chitchat and chai.com. And I just launched it. So I've actually written down a question for you guys because you guys have answered so many my questions. I'm like, what am I going to ask them now that I get to talk to them? But because I'm kind of, so my question is, if I get into this white space, which is South Asian lifestyle blogging, I heard your podcast with Jordan Younger about how five years ago it was really easy to get, not easy, but you got a lot of followers quickly if you did like at Forever 21 or something. Nowadays,

like if you get 50, you were saying, I get like one. You know what I mean? So someone that's blogging in 2017 just launched going into this white space. what are your guys' advice for me? Well, first, I think you probably, we've talked about this a little bit, I think that the problem is everybody gets, everybody's really ungrateful now. Everybody thinks that if they don't have hundreds of thousands or thousands and thousands of followers or listeners or readers

that they're a failure in some kind of way, do you know, it's so difficult to capture somebody's attention that really what we need to do is we need to take a step back and be grateful if even one person's listening. Like right now, the fact that, you know, me and you, if we speak through Snapchat, I'm so grateful for that interaction. I'm so grateful to have somebody paying attention to what I'm doing. I really don't get caught up in the macro. Right.

I think people make a big mistake where they go for the macro and they think it's all about getting hundreds of thousands or millions of people. As a matter of fact, if you read a lot of case studies, most businesses end up failing because they try to go for everybody instead of sticking with a demographic that they capture early on who really actually identifies with what they're doing. So while it's harder to get mass numbers, it's not hard to find people that are going to identify with you. And I think that, you know, you start with one person. That goes into five. That goes into 50 and so on. And you build that way. But it's people who actually really, really care what you're doing.

So don't get discouraged if when you launch, you don't have 50,000, 30,000. Like, just be grateful for one. And as soon as you realize, wow, like, I'm very lucky to have even one person paying attention to me, you can really start to build yourself. Yeah, and thanks to you guys, I'm kind of there. I like, because I've been listening to you guys, and you guys, that's how I know you guys is so authentic, because it's the same message over and over again, because it's like what you guys live, eat and breathe, and what's brought you guys success. So thank you for that.

Well, first of all, I just want to tell you that I think your blog name is adorable. I love it. I'm a picky bitch. I love it. And also getting to know you through Snapchat, I think you're the sweetest, most compelling person. You're sweet. You're nice. You're pretty, you seem very approachable.

And I think that you will make a great blogger. So I think that's a really natural fit for you. The most important thing with you and I feel like you're already doing this is, first of all, you've found such an itch, which is amazing. I think you just remain authentic to who you are and really, really let that personality that you show me on Snapchat come through the screen. And that means maybe adding video. you're going to have to almost, and I say this a lot, get uncomfortable or get comfortable

with being uncomfortable. Absolutely. And anyone that's starting a blog in 2017, it's going to just be harder. It just is than it was, you know, in 2005 and 2010. It is a saturated market, but that doesn't mean you can't do it. It's just maybe you have to put it an extra hour a day. I think starting a blog and posting once a week is a waste of time. I think that you should be posting at least four days a week.

I think that to start out. And I think just really letting people get to know your personality, collaborate with other bloggers. If you find someone that's within your niche, share audiences. Like, see if you can. Yeah, I did that yesterday because I heard your podcast, Jordan, and you guys were like, just go for it. And I did. I saw this girl who had liked one of my. post, an interview I did with my friend, and I looked at her Instagram and I really resonated

with her, and I straight up to doctor on LinkedIn and was like, hey, you wrote a book. I love reading and doing book reviews. Like, feel free to, you know, like, here's what I can do for you for free. Exactly what you guys said on the Jordan Younger podcast. Here's what I can do for you for free. I have a lot of South Asian friends that look at my stuff. They'll want to buy your book. You know, for sure, they're going to want to check it out. And she hasn't gotten back, but thanks to y'all, I did that. Well, here's another thing we can do for free. I think there's probably some other people listening that are also in the same position you are, starting out.

They probably have maybe a couple people that are going to identify with what they're doing. You have people that are going to identify what you're doing. I think right now you should plug your email. And I think after you do that, people that are listening that want to collaborate, maybe do a cross-collaboration. So if you're listening, now please plug your email. What's your email? My email? Okay, it's Priyanka Oza blog at gmail.com. So that's P-R-I-Y-A-N-K-A-O-Z-A-B-L-O-G at Gmail.com. Okay, we're going to have to find this. What's a simpler way? What's your Instagram?

Yeah, Instagram. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, South Asian names are long. Oza Chronicles, so my last name and the word chronicles. Okay, so if somebody Googles Chit-Chat-Chi, will they find it? I'm pretty sure they will. Okay. A bunch of them, but you, there's like, none of them are really trademark the same way mine is, but it's going to be, if you type in Chit Chachai, a South Asian lifestyle blog, I'll come up,

or if you type in my name Priyanka R. Oza, it will definitely come up. And I know that's a bit hard, so I am working on optimizing that. Here's what I would do. I would make, this is actually a whole different conversation, and I'm really glad that this is brought up. I would make your email, P-R-I-V-T-Chat-Chat-Chi.com. P-R-I-V at chichita.com. That is so important when someone's trying to find you. It needs to be the most simple thing on the planet.

So crystal clear, all your handles, I know you can't change Snapchat, should be completely cohesive. Because the harder it is to find you, people don't want to do that work anymore. It's got to be so to the point. And I'm actually glad you brought that up and you said what your email is. I think that's definitely a place to start with how to just make. it's so simple to find you. Like, when I ask someone what their brand is and where they can find you, it should be like the most quick, second, simple thing on the planet.

Absolutely. Yeah, I agree. You said PR-B. How do you spell your name? P-R-I-A-N-K-A, and then my last name, O-P-A. Maybe just you shorten your name sometimes when you sign it. How do you shorten it? pre-pr-pr.

I would do PRI at chit-chat-chai.com. So you have some time before this launches. So get that email done. People listening, email, that email, and you guys can do a cross-collaboration. I think a lot of people get really fancy and they're unwilling to collaborate in the beginning. You don't realize collaborating and not competing

is the best way to grow your audience. That's what Lauren did. So hopefully if we can bring any value to you, people listening will say, hey, you know, I think it would be smart for me to collaborate. I'm starting as well. And then you just go from there. Dude, I fucking love you guys.

Like, no, seriously. We love you. We love you. I wouldn't have given that email tip. We wouldn't have given that to just anyone. I feel like I've gotten to know you over Snapchat, which is why we're so maybe aggressive with that. I want to send you something that I have for you for calling in. So will you email me at Lauren at the skinny confidential.com?

Absolutely. All the best to you guys. I will continue to support you guys in any way, shape, or form. You're amazing. We love you. Talk to you on Snap. Okay. Bye.

Hi. That was so fun talking to you guys and hearing all about Taylor and Annabelle's date. I think the call-in shows are my favorite shows. Yeah. You can actually interact with people. Yeah, it's really fun to talk with you guys. And I think we eventually want to do a live podcast. We got to plan it out.

Eventually, but it has to be, you know, it has to be set up properly. Yeah, Michael's a real planner, guys, if you didn't know. Anyway, we are off to stuff our face with chocolate chip cookies and a skinny Margarita, and we will see you guys next week. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential, him and her, with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcast.1.com or subscribe now on the podcast One app. Hey, everybody, I'm Heather Dubrow. And I'm Dr. Terry Debrough.

Every Friday, check out my podcast, Heather Dubrow's World. We also have a brand new show, The Doctor and Mrs. Guinea Pig Show every Tuesday. So don't forget, iTunes and Podcast One. Tune in to Dr. Mrs. Guinea Pig on Tuesdays and Heather Dubrow's World every Friday.