The Bossticks - #58: Adderall and Compliments: Part Two with Annabelle DeSisto & Taylor O'Connor aka "The Bare Naked Cucumber"

Episode Date: April 11, 2017

Host of the podcast "Adderall and Compliments" Annabelle DeSisto (@annabelledesisto) & Taylor O'Conner aka 'The Bare Naked Cucumber,' join Lauryn & Michael to give you the lowdown on their two dates. Taylor shares a poem he constructed for Annabelle, they take a few Instagram Live questions about their dates, Annabelle discusses what it was like having Spencer Pratt on her podcast (Michael has a Spencer Pratt story of his own), and we finally hear the infamous 'Katut' story. Is there a third date in the works for Annabelle & Taylor? To Listen to Adderall and Compliments click HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Thanks for downloading this show from PC1. Before we get rolling, here's a word from one of the folks who helped bring you this podcast. There's a podcast1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride.

Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. Okay, okay, okay. Back again, back again. Annabel loves my intro. Lauren loves my intro. Today we have an exciting show. We're back, the lovely Annabel from Adderall and Compliments. Hi. Hi. And we have the bare naked cucumber. Hi. I'm just following what she said. I'm going to... Taylor just put about 40 cinnamon altoids in his mouth before we got started. So if you hear clicking and clacking, those are Taylor's alttoids. Well, he's a little nervous. The last time we had Annabel on the show, he proceeded to hit on her the entire time. And since then, you know, we're going to get into it and hear the story.

I'm a little more confident this time, though. It's the Altoids. It's mint. You just blew cinnamon in Annabal's eyes and she can't see now. It is like pepper spray coming from his mouth. It is very strong. Well, I mean, he ate pretty much the whole box, you know. And maybe you've got to suck back some of that drool you've been salivating everywhere.

I like those orange tic-tacks that are really good You just keep eating him I think anybody who's ever had a tic-tac knows The orange ones are the ones that you can eat the whole time You eat the whole case in minutes So it's been two minutes If you pop that right now, you're off Yeah

I had to stop him from putting another one He's getting nervous He wants to make sure his breath's all right We got it, your breast's good Okay so like bring us up to date You guys went on two dates And everyone's wanting to know like the whole lowdown Taylor you got to let Annabelle talk though

You can't just jump in and say it was great because Anabel might not agree. We've heard your side of the story. Annabel, did you ever listen to that side of the story? Did you ever listen to that podcast where he described the dates? Which one? The one where I was cheating? Yeah, the one where he said you were cheating.

Yes, I did hear that one. I would like to clear that up. I actually don't want you to talk for like most of the time. Go ahead some minutes. I need to hear the other side. I can put this in my mouth. Yeah, as long as you're not clicking your lips. So I was shocked to hear that.

It was the only game I did win. and he claims that I cheated at it because I was blocking, was it the goal? What is it? The slit, the slit's such a gross word. I don't know what the term is for air hockey pocket. He's not allowed to talk because he'll clock isn't in. So he said that I cheated because I just guarded it the whole time

and I didn't move the paddle. What he neglected to tell you was that how many slurpees in child's hands have been on that table. So it was the stickiest thing in the entire world where my paddle, even if I tried to move it, it would not move. So he had his minty hands all over there too. So yeah, it was just like smudge. I mean, I've never been around more children in my life.

Been at Dave & Busters. Was it fun? It was so much fun. It was like one of the most fun things I've ever done. Certainly the most fun I've ever had on a date. Wow, Taylor. Hi, Taylor. Can I speak now?

Yeah, you can. Do you have a mint in your mouth? I was going to say. I don't want to hear one mint click. Since we're talking about Dave & Busters and it has to do with games, I would say it was very reminiscent of Donkey Kong on top of that thing, throwing the barrels down. because she was, I was like Mario trying to get up the,

but not that you look like King Kong, not like you look like Donkey Kong. Are you comparing your date to Donkey Kong now? Because you're losing points by the second. I can even be Princess Peach. I couldn't even be anything. Yeah, give her some. No, because Donkey Kong, in the original Donkey Kong where Mario first appeared,

he, he has princess and he basically throws these barrels down the side. All right, you're going down a real. Look it up, you'll see what I mean. Yeah. You're the gorilla that holds the princess. Okay, the gorilla. Because you're like basically like you have to get by me. So not that you look like your room.

So I want to like pump the brakes here and go like and step on the gas as hard as I can to go in reverse for a second. Because I need to get everybody caught up and I want to get caught up. So you came on the show a few months ago. Yes. We had a lot of fun. Taylor was hitting on you the entire time. I figured he was creeping you out. I figured that he was.

I figured that it was just like we're never going to see this girl again. No, I just thought it was like a joke. I just thought it was like a bit that he did whenever you guys do let him on. I just thought that was something he did with all your guests. It's not a bit. This is what we live with. I guess because I'm so used to doing morning radio, like the shick of like morning zoo shows. I was like, oh, okay, this is like their wacky sidekick who like wears pajamas to work.

He is our wacky sidekick. You weren't that day, but like the shows I've had to work on. It's like that's. I have worn the smiley face pajamas underneath my pants, though, to work because it gets cold. I don't want to. What? This is the first I'm hearing this. That is way better than what I see on Michael's Snapchat that you wear when you think it's

cold. My favorite thing is... 95 degree weather. He's beanie. Yeah, Annabel snaps me every time I snap you with your beanie on, like, basically saying, what the fuck's this guy wearing? The worst is, like, a couple companies will send me, like, some products to try. And I'll come into his office, and he'll have, like, my candles lit all around his

office, like, shaped in a heart, like, eating, like, my, like, coconut, like, rice crispy treats. Like, like, as he, like, picks his tooth with, like, a wisp that was sent to me by crest. Like... There is some good stuff that gets sent. So I go, ooh, what is this? We know you just have decorated your office with it. I'm basically quality control.

There's a company. I can't remember which one, but they sent a bunch of sex toys and vibrators. And Taylor was the last one in the office with the vibrator. We can't seem to find it. And I'm wondering. I'm wondering. What's going on over there, man? No, I promise you, I did not take the vibrator.

I would have no use of the vibrator because I'm a man. I sure hope not. It was a female vibrator. Don't worry. I might have wanted to use it, but you touched your hands all over it after you had eaten the peanut butter cups. So I guess I can't use that. Well, actually,

Talking about sex toys, just for a second, that specific sex toy was kind of interesting because, remember, we were looking at it, it kind of looked like a stingray. That's what I was imagining. Because it, you know, stingray has the tail and then it's got the, like, rest in peace, Eberwin. What is it? I don't even know what, it's flaps. So the sex toy goes, you're supposed to insert it into the uterus. Is that the right term? No, the uterus is like part of the vagina.

Let's not have you break down the female anatomy. Yeah, I don't think it's the uterus, buddy. It goes into, you insert it inside, and then, so it, like, basically cups the, the, you're, you're, like, basically cups the. the good parts of the lady's vagina. Is there bad parts? I mean, that's not what I'm good. So anyways, so supposedly you're supposed to... Let's go back to your date.

No, no, no, no, this works it in. No, I'm going to... As the sex toy of the stingray-like sex toy, you're supposed to... Then the man is supposed to insert his penis into the woman at the same time. So you've planned this all out with the sex toy that was sent to me and you've touched it. I was just... What I'm getting at is, how... How can you get the male genitalia into the woman's vagina at the same time?

That's the question of your life, isn't everybody? I just because I mean, as we all know, because I'm so large, it just wouldn't fit. There's no way. All right. Okay. So back to your date. So after the podcast, he asks you on his first date. Right.

Our first date was in January, right? Yeah. Where did you guys go your first date? We actually just went there for breakfast, the pole lounge. And I think the guy was still playing on the piano from then. He just was on, he's on a marathon going continuously. Okay, so tell us about the poll launch date, a little recap. We were there, Luke, we were the last people there.

We were those people, like, when the staff's, like, please, I just, can you just please, like, move to a different, like, go to a 24-hour diner. Like, we want to get home to our families. Like, the piano player had left, like, even he beat it. So we were like, Carrie? We saw Mariah Carey and, like, her backup dancer, like, that he, like, she left that, like, Lurch Billionaire for her. So that was very exciting. Lurge Billioner. Okay, so did Taylor, like, make you pay, or did he split the check, or did he pay for the whole thing?

No, he paid for the whole thing. Good, Taylor, just checking. No, of course I did. No, that dinner was actually really good. That was the first time to be there. So you were a gentleman. And you got her a little drink, which you don't like to drink. No, like, I rarely ever drink.

If I have, like, two drinks a year, that's a lot. Okay, so she had a drink. So you worked. She actually had two drinks. So I wasted all on that one. Shucks. The first one, I don't think you really drank, though. I know, the first one you drank the second one, I think you just did that thing where you grab, you know, people grab the straw and they like, you know.

Yeah, I manically. Like, that's like my nervous thing. You know, like they're churning butter. Oh, okay. So you were watching her as she drank, like, every second. Well, I was staring at it going, geez, is she going to drink that? Oh. Because it was really good.

Remember, they were like really good. He was very, like, he was wonderful. I've been trying to, like, work on not saying great because I know how much you hate that words of this entire day. I've been practicing, like, trying not to say it. But he was really nice of like, I, three. I don't drink alcohol is just because I can't find anything that, like, taste good to me. So he's like, okay, what I'll do is, like, order anything that you think will taste good, like, that you think will taste good. And if you don't like it, I'll drink it.

So we'll just, like, order. So you order two for me that would possibly taste good. Okay, I love it. I love it. This is going good. So you guys are there. You're talking all night. Taylor comes home to our house, super late.

He loved his date. So then the second date, how do you ask her out on to go to Dave and Busters? Like, how does that transpire? Oh, well, I was actually, that was much more, you can, she should tell the story, but I actually wrote in on her podcast. I sent a, like a little excerpt of writing to, to Megan, her friend that's always on it. And she's really funny. So I sent it to her.

And I actually told Annabelle's like, oh, I'm going to send in a question, but then sent it to Megan for Megan to read. And I actually, she, Megan did somewhat of, I'm not, she did somewhat of a bad job reading it where I'm going, oh, no, I look so bad. Because it wasn't, she didn't write, she didn't read it. Well, you have an issue with it. A lot of the time, like I've known you for a long time. And a lot of times what's in your head is a good idea for you. But the way you communicate it to other people is interesting. Interesting and confusing to say the least.

It's not great. And so you have this like great, like, you know, this big grand plan in your head. But you have a difficult time formulating it. So a simple idea turns into a really complicated idea that usually most of the time, not always turns into a massive train wreck. She, I mean, I think... Would you describe that exactly? No, no, because she said it was a poem.

So I had the first part was a poem. It was like roses are red, violets are blue. Wait, wait, wait. You had a two-part letter and part one was a poem? It was like a... I thought it was really good. It was like a mini poem and then like a question type. Or like more or less like a what if.

Do you see here why this is... Oh, you know what? I actually have it on my phone. Here, hold on. I actually... Hold on one second. While you're pulling up your sonnet, we'll just... We'll go on.

long. Let's hear your haiku. I can't wait to hear it. So did the poem or whatever it was, like woo you, or were you like, uh-uh? At first I thought Megan was kidding. I thought, like, she wrote it and that she was saying just like Taylor. But it was really, really good. And so I was shot that he even did that because I've never had anybody take the time to, like,

write two sentences for me, let alone, like, try to make it rhyme. You know, I think I saw him on one of those websites that, like, where you put in the word and it shows you everything it rhymes with. So we can't give them all the credit. Okay, I found it. Okay. Here we go. I'm going to read it the way it was supposed to. Is this the day we lost all those clients because you were neglecting your work?

No, this was, I don't know. I have no idea. No, I did this on my own time. Okay. Dear Annabelle, roses are red, violets are blue. If Tuxedo had a tiny gun to shoot me, it would go pew-poo. That's it for, there's no more poem. That's it.

That's where Megan went wrong. Wait, when you read it to me earlier, you had a sound effect for the Piu-Pu. So let's read the last line again with how you showed me the sound effect. Oh, you mean? No, but that's like, okay. No, no, go ahead. If Tuxedo had a tiny gun to shoot me, it would go, peepoo! That's how it would really be read, but this was not, I mean, of course.

Okay. You didn't put stage direction in it. Like, Megan would have had no idea. Yes, you're right. You should have sent her a video and acted it out, you know? That I could have, but I don't think she was taking video submission. So then it goes into this. It says, will you Annabelle be my Valentine?

I know, I know. I noticed some it seems awkward holding hands on the playground or receiving borderline creepy gifts and flowers from secret admirers that any other day would be called stalkers that they would be called stalkers to all right hold on sorry this is the creepiest love letter i've ever seen okay playgrounds and creepy holding hands what the fuck you're talking about okay wait this is where i went wrong case and let me let me start up sorry didn't you go on okay will you annabel be my valentine to some i know it means awkwardly holding hands on the playground or receiving borderline creepy gifts and flowers from secret admirers that any other day would be called stalkers.

To me, it means Dave and Busters, the playground for adults, where I can awkwardly hold your hand or hope that they at least have soup, where I can stare at the beautiful hair in public where you hoard French fries instead of through the blinds where you sleep at night. Holy shit. Okay. Whoa. Let me see. Even our sound guy, like, just quit.

So you worked in the word creepy and awkward like four times. ground. You're going to stare at the back of her head. You're going to creep through her blinds. I want to know what Annabal thought of that, though. Maybe, I mean... It's always been my dream to be stocked because it means that you're getting attention and wanted. So that's always kind of been a goal of mine. So I was very into it. So I, like, I really liked that part. It was very long. Like, I haven't responded to emails since, like, October. So, like, I know I'm, like, you and Michael's nightmare. So it's like, I, if I put any of the effort, he put into that poem, the two

line poem and then the rest, the three paragraphs? The poem and then the axe murderer letter? I mean, I don't even know what to say here. I feel like, are you like dead serious? You know, after reading it, you're right, it actually does come on. You remind me of like coming in with the axe and like slamming through the door, like here's Johnny, you know? Jesus Christ.

I mean, I don't think you could get any more creepy. Yeah, actually, now that I, out of context. So, so we actually, do you know what's funny here? is I'm actually like that's pretty on par for you like that's pretty like that's a normal letter like for me like I get it like I know you very well so I'm like okay like I get it a lot of people are probably going to listen to me like what the hell what kind of letter is that but I get it so it's charming coming from Taylor I mean after your wedding speech there's really nothing that can surprise me with you

I'm like I don't think really like off the cuff things or maybe his thing yeah I mean after saying you're going to blow the bride in front of all of my family and friends and telling me to suck down on my penis yeah after that I think uh you know a simple letter or like this is big, it's like a 10 compared to that. But I really loved it because he had like inside jokes like that. So he tailored it to you. Yes. Literally.

No pun intended. Like tailored it to me where my one boyfriend when I asked him to like give me a gift because he had no money. So I was like, okay, like he thinks he's a good musician. I fucking hate acoustic like music more than anything in my entire life. And I'm like trying to be a good girlfriend. I mean like on my birthday where I should be thinking about me. Like what will make him feel good to like give me?

Because he's like poor as shit. And so I was like, sure, just like write me a song. and then he didn't write me a song, he just took one off the internet by Casey and Jojo and I, like, as he was doing it, because he's such a poor guitar player, I didn't realize it. So it could be worse.

Yeah, so it could be, like, way worse. And I was, you know, like, he might have pulled that poem off of, like, creepypoems.com, though, so, I mean, you know. I definitely made that up. I think that was... I don't think there's anybody that's listening would ever think that you didn't make that up.

I mean, you know. Kevin, are you creeped out or what? I am very creeped out. I mean, imagine if someone read that out of context and didn't know, like, the background to that, they would definitely go, okay, there's something wrong with it. You mean like the whole audience that's listening? When you said you're going to go on the children's playground and then sniff her hair or something like that's, you know, yeah. It's a little weird.

Okay, so you went on your date to Dave Investors. Is there a third date planned? At the moment, no. But I, maybe tonight. Remember we asked about, what was it? we asked for submissions and then I don't think did anybody ever, remember? Are you taking submission ideas?

Yeah, remember? That's what you did. You asked the last one. Did you ever get any? Because I have done. I think you actually should take her for goat cheese balls at Sir. Like, I'm dead serious. Because I keep hearing about these damn goat cheese balls and they sound pretty good. Are they? I've never had them.

I've only been to the sexy, unique restaurant once, shockingly. Really? And, like, what's so weird? Okay, we went for a group dinner with, like, Stasi and Chris? because mom, I know this is not about them. So we went for a group dinner, like, pretty much all the Vanderpump girls, except for Lala. Like, do you know they have to, like, pay at Sir? What?

I, like, so thought this dinner would be calm. So, like, when the bill came was, like, are you fucking kidding me? They have to pay? I feel so bad. I'm not supposed to cuss on your podcast, right? No, we can cuss. Okay, I feel so. No, we cuss all the time.

Isn't that, like, so shocking. Yeah, that is kind of weird. Like, glue in the purse strings a little bit, Lisa. Like, a group day. It wasn't, like, thousands of dollars. Hey, listen, I used to work at McDonald's. go to Taylor back. We actually worked together. Oh, this old story. Okay.

No, well, and, you know, we even got free meals. So if McDonald's is doing it, you know, what the fuck? I mean, if Hooters can, you know, well, Taylor was going to ask you to come to dinner with us tonight, but then I just decided that I would just do it for him because he had too many minutes in his mouth to talk. But where do you think we should go? I think maybe, Taylor keeps talking about Italian. Is there a Chuckie Cheezer on here? No, Taylor, come on. Get a little more creative. Something with a ball pit, maybe. Oh. So wait, so you, okay, so you get the love sonnet and letter. document and you go on the date and which was actually a lot of fun you know what there's a lot of

but hold on let me let me hear this from her so because you're you're jumping in here I would you're don't I want to hear don't forget the girl that got escorted out because she was having too much fun I want to hear from her mouth how this date went because I've heard it from you and what I've learned also about you Taylor is most of the time when something happens your life and I get the story I get about 25% of it up front and then as the week weeks and months go on, I slowly unravel it. So I'd say I have about a quarter of the story, and I need to hear the rest. Because basically all I've heard is how he just demolished you in every arcade game

and that you were a big cheater. I mean, that is true. I'm not sure. That's debatable about the cheating part. I mean, I would be more than happy to show you that that was not the case that I probably would win again. And maybe he was just like playing Hector projector of what he should have done, which was guarding the slot, which would have made you win, which you clearly didn't.

So maybe you were just jealous of like my ability at one game. I would say it was like super funny. He was incredibly patient with me because he wasted like each game is like the equivalent of like $15. And I had no idea that games are so athletic. Or like I get I'm not like you and Lauren like in any means. But I'm like, oh, I can play a like video game. Like how hard can that be?

Like plenty of fat teens do it. Like I'll be able to do it. And I got there. And so it's like you pay like $15 basically for one game. And I like lifted up the gun. And I was like, it's heavy. I can't. And just like put it down and walked away.

And he was like, Okay, well, try another one. And, like, so many of the games I couldn't do because they were so heavy. And I just gave up. Yeah, it was, like, walking around with Goldilocks trying to find that perfect porridge, but her just going, there's no perfect porridge. Oh, analogy. No, but, you know, the one that we did find was that little bow and arrow one that you couldn't reload.

You didn't know how to reload, and I'm just sitting there, and you kept dying. And I just kept, it was like, okay, like, you're not doing it right. I would say half the games would be over by the time I finally figured out, like, where the go button is. And he was very patient. Like he, I would have, like, screamed if it was like, I would have gone insane. But he was very, very patient. And so I wasted all of the tokens losing every single game. Perfect.

I love it. So he was, like, incredibly patient. And I had so much fun. There was one game that I thought I could do because it was just what appeared to be a sitting game. There was just, like, a bench. And I was like, I can do that. And then even that was, like, I have to go see your hot chiropractor because it literally gave me. You should go see it.

Oh, yeah. That was that move, the thing where you just reclined, it was like watching it. interactive movie. It was literally just a couch. You know, I might introduce her to my chiropractor because he is single and he's taking applications right now. Every single girl in Snap. Like actual applications? Taylor gets really jealous about this. It's a little bit of a soft

subject or a sore subject. Taylor was getting a lot of like a lot of girls would like snap message me and say, I was Taylor single, blah, blah, blah. Well now no one cares about Taylor anymore. Now it's about the hot chiropractor. Yeah, I'm old news. Yeah, so the hot chiropractor is like, he's really crushing it. A lot of people really like

him on Snapchat. Really? Oh, well. I appreciate Taylor Bean's because honestly, he could have gotten more points if he had gone with Stevie Wonder. Like, that was the level of partner I was that night. So he's very patient.

Oh, you got to tell her about our hats. That's like the highlight of everything. Oh, he did use all of his, like, he traded in his card. We got to use all of his points. And like, we got to go around the prize shop. I took a very long time because I wanted to take like my purchase very, very seriously.

So we did get winner hats and I got a winner. shirt. Wow, Taylor. They're actually pretty cool. Why don't you wear yours to the office instead of that beanie? I actually have. I wore it literally like a week ago. He did. It's a cool hat. Is that when you were picking your teeth with the new wisps I got? I think that was when I was eating the after grisps.

We're sitting here. We're doing this. We have the Instagram live going right now. Hi guys. Hello guys. And I'm looking at some questions. And so this is the question that we've all. Yeah, ask some questions for Annabelle. This is the question we've all been waiting for. So I don't think it's in three months, but they said, why have you waited three months to go on a third date? Just because of I live down in San Diego, and it's just a little bit more of a, what is the term? Commute. Yeah, not so much commute, but there is L.A. traffic and everything, so it has to be, I try to do it to make it to where.

I mean, when we went to Dave and Buster, I actually drove up and drove up and drove back like the same night. And we haven't been back since, we haven't been to L.A. for a while because of the carbon myoxide boys. incident. No, we're fine now. We all... Did you guys tell everybody that? No, that's a different story. We did tell that story. It was in Santa Monica last week, and I didn't go, because I'm like, oh, no, I'm not driving tournament Santa Monica. So the fact that he drove all the way up from San Diego and drove back that night is

like... Commendable. Yeah, so, like, so impressive, so... We'll give them one of a hat. Yeah, I almost drove off the road and killed myself. I usually, when I drive, I fall asleep like this. That's normally what happens when people spend a long time with me. They're like, I just want to go home and kill myself.

That is the reaction of most of my dates. Is there a third date in the cards, Annabelle? I'll let her answer this one. It's not like I'm going to ask. Like, yeah, what do you mean? Oh, wait, no, no, because I already answered that. Remember, you said... Is there a third date in the card?

No, you don't want to know. Meaning, is there, like, if there was an invitation, would it be positively received? Yes. Ah. And it won't be, it won't come in some weird, creepy poem, like, stalker letter. It'll be in a box and it'll have some dead animals head in it. It will be written in my blood. You'll probably write a murder mystery or some weird shit like that.

You can send her your ear like Van Gogh. Why don't you take her somewhere like really good? Like really creative and interesting? Like you got to think really hard. Like skydiving? No, let's not go skydiving on our third date. Bunchy jumping? Actually, no, I did ask you if you would ever do skydiving.

Because I was trying to think of somebody, because you don't have to talk to him if you skydive too. That's a great date, you know? Or I can take her, like, scuba diving. That's another thing where we don't talk. Oh, no. Number one, I can't swim. And anytime, like, somebody asks you to go scuba dive, I'm like, oh, he's going to kill his wife.

Well, also, we don't want to do that to your hair. No, I'm like, hmm. If I really wanted to be a big asshole, which I think a lot of people like to do, is they go, oh, we could go in a really gnarly hike. And I don't, I don't hike, but there's all these people that go like, yeah, like, let's go on a hike. Speaking of hikes. I don't hike. You really want to bring up a hike here?

You want to talk about hikes? Let's talk about hikes. I don't like... I didn't think we were going to pull this one out of our archive. So the last hike that we did an office outing, and we decided to do that stupid potato chip. You know, I'm not one for hikes either, so I actually... Let's also keep in mind that I just had jaw surgery a month ago,

and we decided to do this. Yeah, Lauren Lake was basically fresh out of a coma. Yeah. And she was, you know, doing not very well at all. So we invited the whole office, and at the time... This is like almost a year and a half ago now or a year ago. Yeah. At the time, Taylor was dating another Swedish woman who...

We heard that story. She ran off to Sweden. Never to be heard from again. And so we went on this hike. And, you know, I would say it's like, it's difficult, but it's not really. It's just kind of like you're walking up a hill for a long time. And I have never, I'm wearing this shirt today. It says zero percent complaining.

This would, if Taylor was wearing this shirt that day, it would say one million percent complaining. I have never seen somebody cry and complain more walking in my life. He complained the whole three hours up, the whole three hours down. Not only did he complain, he took his backpack off, stomped away like a three-year-old, and threw a fucking tantrum. And made his girlfriend carry the gosh. Dude, this girl was like a pack mule. She had all of his shit on her back strapped like a Sherpa. You sat down on the rock and refused to walk.

Like you thought we were all going to carry you. You actually asked me to look into like a shirpa. helicopter that could come get you off the mountain. Not joking. Dead serious. He did. Do Ubers go up mountains? I'm tired. No, he was, he would have paid. To this day, he claims this didn't happen, but we all like, we all

convinced it did. We have like a picture of somebody, like we, in the office, we have all these pictures of people in weird positions, and we cut their heads off and put Taylor's head, so we have a picture of somebody life-fighting somebody like in one of those body bags down a mountain. I swear to God, I saw him

get on like, you you know, the cart they bring up for people that are having heat strokes. And he says he wasn't on it, but I swear to God. I visually remember seeing you on the cart going down the side of the hill. It was the, what is it, the Rangers? Okay, so you're admitting it now because for the longest time he claimed he didn't do it and he actually walked. And I'm like, no, man, I think I was. It was only for like a little part, though.

All your ex-girlfriend wanted to do when she came to San Diego was hike once a month. That's all she asked to do. And you took her on one hike That's honestly my nightmare It was terrible I hated every second of it We know, we remember Can't forget

Natural lighting is like my biggest fear So like that's out And then I've gone to Runyon three times Like I've lived here seven years I've gone three times What's it like? Well the first time I went I thought walking up to it

I'm like oh my God I'm so tired So I thought we had like we had done it And they're like no We just now got to the front entrance Like, I just, like, thought walking up to it. Like, I thought that was Runyon. I was like, there's a lot more concrete on Runyon than, like, I expected. And they're like, no, we're just got to the front.

I was like, oh, no, no, I'm out. I'm good. I was just like, do you guys want to go on Runyon for your third date? I'd rather go to a live donkey show than go to Runyon on a date. Oh, I would go to a donkey show. I hope. Oh, my God. Do those really exist?

They sure do. I will say, like, Taylor's very interesting on a date where on the first date, like, we didn't do the, like, so where are you from? Like, what do you do? Like, I've talked about things I've never had a conversation with about, like, with anybody. Give us an example. Did you talk about, like, aliens on Mars? Like, what do you mean? Oh, no, I forgot. I have to tell you this story. No, he's been teasing this, like, alien story where, like, he's...

Oh, we forgot. This is the episode where Taylor's going to tell us about Katut. We are. We're going to get into that. So I want to get into two things. We have to take a quick break. But when I come back first, I want to talk about this gem empire that you've now created. I'm waiting for my royalties because I have basically been the spark to ignite a gem empire. And then we are going to hear about Cotette, which I'm excited. Annabelle, I know this story, but I'm excited for you to hear it. And I'm excited for everybody else here because...

This has been doing T's for a long time. Lauren hasn't heard it either. And it is, he told this story on my bachelor party. And honestly, I think it was the highlight of the bachelor party. It was that good. It was funny. This was the highlight of Canada, was the Cotette story? Yes.

What are other highlights? We'll, I kind of, we'll glaze over it. We kind of, we'll move on. We've got to get into the break. I'm John Horn. I'm the host of Geffen Playhouse Unscripted. I'm here with our very first guest, Rain Wilson. Hi, John.

Looks like I'm the first guest on the Geffen, Unclothed. Unscripted. Yeah, let's go with that. A marriage made in heaven, I guess. Or Westwood. Tune in for some of our exciting upcoming guests, David Copperfield, Neil LaBute, Neil Patrick Harris, Josh Gad, Rita Wilson, and many more. Be sure to download.

new episodes every Wednesday on the Podcast One app and on iTunes. And don't forget to rate, review, and share. And I'm Rayne Wilson, the first guest. You were the very first guest. This was a huge mistake. This was a huge mistake. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Just like that, we are back.

We are also on Instagram live. You can see everyone right there. And we are going to keep everyone on live for five more minutes. And then Taylor's going to turn it off when he starts to tell his cadet story. But before we do that, I want to know before Michael gets into his gem business. Tell us about Spencer Pratt, because you just had him on your podcast, and he is so fucking funny. I'm still recovering. Like, were you dying?

When we walked out of there, Megan and I, like, our friend who said it up, she was like, so what was your favorite partner? I do not remember anything that we said. And so when people are like, you don't remember your wedding day, that that's probably the closest I'll ever get to, like, my wedding day ever. So you were so excited. Because we were so excited. And also, he just, he's such a good talk. soccer. Yeah, he really like holds his own. I feel like he needs like a comedy show. Don't you think? I can't find him really funny. I would pay for 24-7 like those live cam girls or whatever. I would

totally pay that for Spencer. I can't really tell like so I don't know. I'll tell you about an interaction I had with Spencer a long time ago, probably 10 years ago, which is we'll get into that in a minute. But I can't, Lauren, I didn't, I don't really, I haven't heard much about him in a long time. Not to say anything. But she showed me his Snapchat and he had. as baby hummingbirds. Alan. Okay. I can't tell if this is like an act or if like he's super into hummingbirds.

No, he's super into them. What do you mean? That's a very strange thing to be into. Like Mike Tyson and his pigeons, right? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, except like pigeons you can like train to do things. What the hell can, I mean, listen, I hope the hummingbird community doesn't come after

me, but what can you do with hummingbirds? What do you mean? There's a lot of things you can do in the nectar. Are you kidding me? You feed them out of the little syringe. It's like what you do with like dogs. No, no, no, no, no. You cannot compare...

Don't be all judgy over here with your chihuahua. You cannot compare dogs to hummingbirds. Wait, you don't think you can have a therapy support hummingbird to take on a flight with you? Says the guy who's wearing my chihuahua's claws around his neck? That was such a brilliant gift. I thought a pet psychic was original. That holds nothing to your chihuahua claw. Thank you.

I got her claws molded, her actual molds blown up in a bare claw. And I think it's really judgy of him to be making fun of honey. hummingbirds when he's wearing chihuahua nails around the last i'm actually okay listen if he's into hummingbirds and he's happy like great like i'm actually happy for the guy i hope everybody's happy everyone's happy and it shows some serious growth because the first time i met spencer and he's probably not going to hear this but if he does he'll i'm sure he won't remember it maybe he will but the first time i met him we were down in cabo about 10 years ago Lauren was running around i was running around it was like a whole spring break for our high school but we weren't dating no we weren't dating um and i don't know

what happened but one of my buddies really pissed him off Really pissed him off. Was it Taylor? No, it wasn't Taylor. Is my buddy Mikey. Similar to Taylor. Similar to Taylor. And the next thing I knew, you know, like the stairs, I don't know if anybody

if you've ever been to Squid Row. Have you been to Squid Row in Cabo? No. Okay. They got this like a rector set club. Like one time I saw a girl, this is a side story. One time I saw a girl fall down the side of the club and they like had to bring out this giant wrench and take the whole club apart.

So anyways, we're on these stairs. And he, somehow my friend Mikey just pissed him off. and I never seen anyone kick someone in the stomach faster in my life. Like, Spence did. Kicked him right down the stairs. He wasn't very hummingbirds then like then. So he must have not any hummingbirds in his life back then because he was pretty pissed off.

Wait, so I want to know about Spencer. So this was before the hills that happened before. This was like before, you know, and the funny thing is, is like you'd think that I would be pissed off about it, but I thought it was so goddamn funny that Spencer kicked my buddy in the stomach down the stairs

that I just could not stop laughing. But anyway, that was my last interaction with him. So, you know, okay, so tell us about your latest. interaction because he has eczema. Yes, I'm very, like, I saw that he was in Beverly. It looks like

Beverly Hills. See, oh, no, now I'm going to write him a weird poem. No, write him a poem. Taylor, I'm really good at that. I'm really good at that. I need you to be my serenote d'pergerac for my poem, dispenser. We can have, we can, it can be oriented around hummingbirds and the joy it brings to your heart. See? Why do you got it going? And I don't mean it in like a sexual way. I'm not like romantically attracted to him that way, but I am obsessed with him. No, I know what you're saying. Like, he, I was, I like, it was, you know how sometimes you'll listen to a podcast and you'll stop it in the middle and go back to it? I could not stop listening to this podcast that you did with him.

Just because I felt like, one, I thought the chemistry was really on between three. And I love when the chemistry is on. And two, he's just, like, he's a character, man. He's so much fun. Because at first I thought, like, the same thing, like, you thought, Michael, of, like, I didn't know if it was just, like, a bit or if he was just, like, exaggerating it or how much he was, like, playing it up for Snapchat. I'm like, no, that's absolutely him. Like, he's not even trying to be entertaining or, like, not even trying to do jokes. Like, that's just naturally him.

Annie didn't kick you in the stomach. No, I probably would have been fine with it, honestly. It would have been, like, it was worth it. You probably got him so many Snapchat followers because I went and followed a Snapchat right away. I promoted his Snapchat more than I promoted myself in anything. If I worked as hard on, like, my school career, on my career, or anything, as hard as I've worked on trying to get Southern Charm renewed and Spencer Pratt Snapchat, going, I'd be on top of the world. Okay, so speaking of

working hard, though, you are crushing it with your crystal and candle business. I've seen you keep selling out. Thanks to Michael. This is what I have to deal with every day. We literally. I'm like, oh yeah, the skinny confidential, and he's like, I'm I've been sitting here. I've been like, I check the mailbox every

goddamn day for that big jam royalty check and it's just, it's not there. I go, Taylor, did you check the mail today? He said, yeah, every day I walk away. I feel like Taylor doesn't even want to go out with me. You're just sending him out for me to get the residual check. I'm like, yo, go through her files and see where we're at, man. I'm actually the one that buys all the crystals, just under names. So you're sending them out, and I just, I'm hoarding them all in this, like, container.

That wouldn't surprise me after your record collection moment. You guys do a really great job of advertising them, especially Taylor, so thank you. I love your crystals and your Adderall necklace that you gave me. I think all your stuff is so cute. It's all because of you guys. I'm actually dead serious, so I actually, I want to know, like, Is this like a real, like, you're doing this now? Yeah, I've made more money with this than I ever did, like, with writing. You see, this, we'll give, like, out of all the, like, crazy shit in this show, we'll give a little. We literally, we, you took an idea, you were talking about for a long time, and you made a business out of it, right?

Yeah, it was after I did your podcast and then the next day, because, like, I look up to you guys so much with, like, business and so many things. But especially, I think your guys are so brilliant with, like, your career and, like, the empire that you've built. So when I see what you guys have done, it's so inspiring. So when we were walking out, Michael's like, yeah, you should like totally sell them. And I was like, okay. And then the next day I just started selling them and it worked. But you like selling them. She loves selling them, right?

Yeah. Like you love crystals. It's my dream job. I get to have, I'm sitting like without a brawn on my couch with my cats, like watching Wendy Williams, like stuffing crystals and bags. That's amazing. Okay. But I want to tell the audience really quick and then we'll get into the cadet story. What I like about what you do.

did is you took something that people would maybe classify as a hobby, which is like loving crystals, and you like spun it into this like very niche business. And that is my favorite thing to do. I love when someone finds something that's different and does it. Like the way you've done it is like so well branded. It's so cute. You did it in your own way on your own terms and you beat to the tune of your own drum. So I think that's incredible. No, it's awesome. And the next thing you can do is you can do a collaboration now with Spencer Proud, who I also hear is a crystal fiend. And you guys- Hummingbird crystals shaped like hummingbirds. Yes.

Oh my God, that's such a good idea. It could be like Adderall and Complement. Is it true that he wasted like millions of dollars on crystals? Yeah. Or is that a natural? I mean, wasted is, you know. You could say I wasted lots of money on vinyl. Well, Taylor, you did waste tons of money on vinyl.

That's a proven fact. And you waste time on poems, but. Hey, no, that was, I got every juice out of that little. He did spend millions of dollars on crystals. So he'd see, that's what he says. I don't think he's lying. I feel like he's a very. And see it all worked because look at how magical he is.

It's true. He's, you got to listen to his podcast, honey. I'm telling you. I didn't know he had one. He has a podcast? No, he's on Annabal's podcast. No, no, I know that.

Okay, yeah. He needs to have his own. Even Spencer's Gifts is starting to jump on the bandwagon trying to take. Literally, she's got the attention of Spencer's Gifts if they're trying to compete against her now. That's like her direct competitor. I would say, if he came on the show, the only way that I would want it is if he walked in and kicked you in the stomach.

I would do it. I would laugh. I'd go. That'd be like the invitation. If he came in and did that, then shit, man. If he did the podcast, I would want him to bring all his crystals on the table so I could feel the energy. I mean, I wanted, like, I needed to make sure that I got the perfect crystal for him to, like, welcome him and thank him into the podcast. So I was so, like, I was so nervous.

I don't know how you picked out your wedding dress, like, how long it took you. But I debated, like, what crystals gave him for, like, two months. And what was it? I finally ended up giving him, like, this really big, like, amethyst with, like, a quartz point in the middle. and it's really, really, really pretty. It was like 10 pounds. Wow. I know. You gave him a 10 pound crystal? Taylor doesn't get shiffer crystals, huh? Wow, 10 pounds. That is a lot. It's a big one.

It is a big one. It's not the first time I've heard that either. So, I want to hear about Cattat. I want to kind of quarterback this and lead him down the path of this story because we've built it up and I really, I don't, you know, I don't want it to be a letdown. So many years ago, before Taylor worked with me, he worked as, Taylor, what is it? It was an art dealer. I worked for one of the biggest art galleries, and they are located basically in Europe, the United States, and on all the major cruise lines around the world. Okay.

So he's working for this art gallery, and they work on cruise ships. And the whole idea is that they would put someone like Taylor onto this cruise ship, and then he would go around on the cruise ship trying to sell. this high-end art to all of the wealthy people on the cruise, right? So technically this. So I was a land coordinator for the art auctions that took place in the United States, and the land coordinators are the higher end of the company, and then there are the cruise ships. So there's the land, and then there's the sea, but technically they're not the same.

All right. Okay. So land and sea, not the same. Got it. Okay. So they decide Taylor is going to go sell art to the rich people on the cruise ship. and so he goes to get on the ship and there's multiple entrances for the ship

okay and there's like entrance for the you know business class it's for the regular passengers there's entrance for the staff and then there's entrance kind of like the Titanic yeah a little bit but and then there's an entrance for not like when I say staff Taylor how would you describe the staff like that's like the captain the

you know the chefs the people that you would see on the cruise as you're interacting yeah so it's like the the the people that you see that interact with the actual guests. You, for instance, like, the dancers, the comedians, the captain, the first mate, all the, those. Basically, the people that the cruise lines aren't ashamed of. Right. That they, that they put out there. And then there's the other entrance. Which is basically they're the, what would be the crew. If I, it's out of the crew or the staff. Maybe I'm

like, they're in the engineering room. Yeah, they're like the engineers. It's the people that work that, you know, do the maintenance on the side of the boat. They're the ones that you never see. And they actually have, like, walkways that go throughout the entire ship that are never in the public. Like, you'll never, you'll never see them. And if you do, it's very rare. And it's, they, they, they, you're not supposed to see them. You're not supposed to see them. Because the ships are, it's built off a caste system. So the captain is like the number one. And then it goes all the way down. And you have to abide by the, by the, by the, basically the cast system that they have set up. When you get out to sea, it's, like, captain's rules. Like, he's basically the, and the sea is

different from the land. Yes. Okay. So technically, when I was going on the ship, I was going as a coordinator for a VIP auction that technically was, there was still the standard event that was taking place that happens every day on the ship. But then there was the VIP show, which what I was being brought on for. He's supposed to be like the host interacting with our people. I love it. So technicality error. So technically what I...

How many times are you going to say technically before I lose my marbles? Not too many. So Knucklehead here is not paying attention and he decides to go in the entrance to with all the crew that is not to be seen. So what happens is when I show up and I'm getting, I'm getting, I have to get issued a badge as an art steward is what it's called. So they're going through, I'm going through the line. And because I have to be able to go and observe the artwork coming in the ship, they were saying,

okay, you need to be labeled as a, as both as basically the crew and the staff. But because the, the, the, the, the mismatching of the names of what the job title was, I got labeled as what would consider the people that do the maintenance, like shoveling the coal, like, inside of the, you know, the... Should be in, like, steerage. Like, basically. Okay. Like, if you see the movie Titanic and all the guys that are down there,

like, greasy and all the black grease all of them, like, shoveling the coal, like, that's basically, like, what he got classified. I want, like, everyone to have a visual. Yeah. So, you'd be, like, the people who drown first, like, when it starts happening. Exactly. Yeah, like, one hole goes in the ship, and he's under.

You guys are out. All right. Like, you have life. Like, he's lower than the rats. Exactly. And also, there's, if you think about it, there are, It's a lot of the don't speak English because it's, it's, I want to say it was about 80% Indonesians.

So not only is it just, am I down there with people that I'm not even supposed to be in this area, but they're heavily Indonesian or there are foreigners. There's a language barrier. Huge language barrier. Exactly. You're right, actually, if you think about it. So I get on the ship and immediately I notice that there is like everyone else that I showed up with, which was basically the team that I normally worked at.

You notice when you in your three piece suit in your three piece suit in your around a bunch of Indonesians that something was something was a miss. Well, they're us through and they're checking the because you have to register and they go, okay, everybody go this way and they go, okay, no, you have to go this way. And I go, wait a second, I'm supposed to go that way and they're like, no, you're

not. This is what your badge says. And I go, I know, but I'm supposed to go that way and they go, yeah, that's fine. It was basically, he was going, okay, whatever buddy, I, whatever you say. Okay, so you get directed to the wrong area. Let me just, like, this would, the reason that this story is going to get even, I mean,

Trust me, this gets, it gets deeper. But the reason that this story is so amazing is because if this happened to me or Annabel or Lorne, at the first sign that I realized I was surrounded by a bunch of Indonesians that didn't speak English and that I was being catered into the bowels of the ship, I would say, yo, man, like, I don't think so. And I would turn the other way and say, listen, there's a mistake. I'm not taking one step earlier. But no, not you. You decide, okay, you know, I'm going to play this out.

I'm going to go deeper here. Well, because the auctioneer who is the, he's basically the guy who runs. runs the show was saying, don't worry, I'll get it, I'll handle it. Just deal with it for just a little bit. That was, I think that was, you know, he probably thought of that for a second and then again, that'll show up about that story. Yeah, exactly. So, so I go down on the ship and they basically say, okay, we're working on it. They were never working on it, but they said, okay, you need to put your bags down into your room. And they, they, I literally go down, probably down to probably the bottom of the ship. I don't know. And they bring me in this room. And it's, I want to say there's

about three or four bunk beds with four people on it, and it's all just stacked with Indonesian people. It's nothing to do with the race. I'm just, it's to the story because I don't speak their language. So I'm in there, and there was actually a Canadian guy that ushered me in, and he said, hey, this is where your bunk is. And I go, this is not my bunk. I go, I'm not, I'm only supposed to be, I'm supposed to have a room.

I'm supposed to be treated as a guest as what I was to be. I was supposed to have a room on the ship, my own nice room. I'm saying that there's a, there's a mistake here. And he goes, yeah, okay, buddy. like, you know, this is where you're at. And he goes, do you know how to, you know, do you know how to all the emergency protocols and this and that? I go, I don't. I'm not part of the ship.

I don't work for the cruise line because the people who do the other one work for the actual cruise line. I do not. And I was killed. So, like, just to like set the stage here, he thinks you're lying to him. He thinks you're trying to get, he thinks that he's trying to get out of the, you know, the battles of the ship. And he's like, good one, buddy. This employee has delusions of grandeur. Like, you're down here, bud.

Like, you're not going up to the buffet. Winky, wink, wink. It's like someone who signed up for the military on accident, and they just go, okay, yeah, of course, it's going to be really easy. And they just sell you on. Okay, so you're in a room with basically eight people stacked on top of each other, and you're still not making a stink, really. Not yet, because still, it was just the first day. So I show up there, and I put my bag on there, and they're all, like, trying to, you know, introduce or say hi to me in their dialect that I don't understand. And I'm just going, yeah, like, nice to meet you, but you're not going to be seen.

You'll never see me again. So I'm not even, you know, hi, goodbye at the same time. I'm leaving you here. and you're there. At this point, you freaked out at all. Not yet. But then we have orientation. So yeah, so this is where I first meet Katut.

So Katut is my, he was the actual art steward on the ship. And he was from Indonesia. So he was the person that was supposed to do all the communications back and forth. So he failed. Now I actually first meet, I meet the first person that goes, okay, hi. Like I'm Katut. I work for the art gallery on the ship. You are the art.

He was the only one that understood the differences between everything. But he couldn't do shit for you. He couldn't do anything for me. So he goes, okay, whatever. They'll get it strained out. But he took you under his wing, like a father figure. I have to sit in this like orientation about people who, you know, what the safety protocols are for the ship, what everything is.

And the captain, I don't know why he. Oh, actually I know why. It's because the entire auditorium was all Indonesians and people from other countries. And he single-handedly picked me out because I'm obviously, I'm not from there. to go down there in front of everybody and, you know, do like CPR on this doll, this doll and spray this, like, you know, in case of a fire, pull the pin of the fire hydrant and pretend like there's a fire. So I'm, and I keep telling him, like, he walks me down there and I go, I look at the whole audience and I go, you know, I don't work for the ship. I don't know why

they do this. The audience doesn't care and they can't understand you. The audience couldn't understand one word you were saying. So again, same thing. Just the whole time they're looking to be going, why do we care? I think you're just, I think they thought that I sign the contract with the ship and then was trying to back out on it. So that's why they were going like tough shit. You can't do anything about it too late. Once you're out to see, like there's no U.S. laws. Like you're out to see.

That's why I could, usually you have to sign a contract to go out on the ship. So I think they were thinking that maybe I just backed out. So what did they, so then let's speed along. What did they, what did they tell you in this orientation? Because this is the part where I started losing my marbles. Like this is the part where I was just like, this was me. I don't need. I would probably try to like dive off the ship and take my chances.

Okay. So, well, actually, well, after that part, we would walk through. and I actually saw the team, the event coordinator team, of the people that I was supposed to be working with. And they're all sitting down and they're eating. Wait, is this after they told you all this stuff about like venereal diseases and everything? Oh, yeah, no, no, that's later. That's after I get, I know where you're going.

That comes up in a little bit. So, okay. So that was the private orientation. So we're walking. No, no, no. No, because after that, then you have to go through the medical side, which nobody else has to do. As a guest, they don't put you through medical.

But when we were walking by, I saw everybody out. And they're all sitting down there, like having cocktails out, you know, out on the, out on the deck, you know, eating and drinking and they're all having, and they're all laughing. And I go, oh, my God, there they are. And I'm supposed to be there. And I try to go out there to say, hey, what's going on? Did you get my room yet? And I run out there basically look like a crazy person that ran out, because I ran out of the,

out of the, the halls that you're not supposed to leave. And I run out and I go, hey, like, where's my room? And the security guards, because I'm the, the art steward badge comes out and they go, excuse me, you can't be here. And I go, no, no, I can. I'm like, where, have you guys made any room for my, for my, or have you gotten my room yet? And they go, it doesn't matter. And they're like, we're working on it as they're, like, eating, you know, sucking down cocktails out on the deck.

So they're sucking down. We're working on it. Yeah, exactly. Like, we're working on it. Don't worry about it. And I'm going like, no, I'm supposed to be there. And they go, yeah, I'm sure, buddy. Like, I'm sure.

And they go, yeah, Taylor, don't worry. He said he'll have it together in, like, you know, a couple hours. So they basically, they, like, they, like, escort me back into the bows of the ship again. as they're all sitting there laughing and having great time on this cruise ship. So next thing I have to go to this medical. And it's the standard medical. They're testing me for disease. So, and again, so I sit there and I'm going, again, I don't know.

I go in the room and it's the standard little doctor. And they go, okay, like pull your pants down. I go, wait a second. I'm, why, wait, wait, you know, you grab the scrotum. He's like the cough thing. I had to do all that. And they're like, okay. I would literally pay as much money as I could possibly pay to watch this.

So it's not supposed to happen. That's, they thought, again, that I was... Yeah, it's happening. Going through a lot. It sounds of art. So, I'm going, wait a second. This isn't, this isn't right. And they go, okay, what, you know, it doesn't matter. Pull your pants down.

And they go, are you sexually active? And I'm like, uh, like, what does this have to do with anything? They go, well, there's big, so, you know, venereal disease is huge on the ship. And they say so... It's running rampant. I don't like, it's running rampant. They're like... They're like, they're like, I want to say it's about 80% of venereal disease is around here.

So, like, if you choose a partner, like, you know, make sure to use condoms. and I pulled out this big drawer, and it just stacked with condoms, and they give me a bunch of them. They go, like, you know, make sure, like, if you're going to hit the sheets, you know, wrap it up tight type of thing. Again, so I had to go through the medical, and definitely, I felt violated again because I wasn't supposed to, I was supposed to be on like a vacation. I'm supposed to be kind of like a nice leisurely. You thought you're going to be having a pinia colada or Mai Tai selling art, making a shit ton of money. And next thing you know, you're getting binaural diseases. With your scrotum held.

So we go down, after that, I go back down to the ship again. And I show up again, all the, all the Indonesians are looking to me like, ha, like, told you. you'd be back and I'm going like okay like again like I'm not going to sleep here I'm not sleeping here it's fine I'm supposed to have a nice room they're like okay whatever buddy and this trip actually was on the weekend of Thanksgiving because the next day it took two days of the seven for them to be able to straighten this whole thing out so the first night this is the first night of dinner because the second one was was Thanksgiving that's how the story okay so we're again so we go down to the to the mess hall as they would say and there's two sides there's the side where all

the crew and then there's another side where all the staff eat and because the staff is a majority of Indonesians it's all like pigs feet eyeballs all this really really like what would be ethnic heavy ethnic food and then the other one it's just it's anything that you would love like pizza pasta like Captain Crunch those little mini box that used to come in the in the mailbox like Captain Crunch goal you know any delicious kid cereal you can think of everything it's amazing like ice cream they've got like ice cream like dispensers. It's just this amazing like plethora of food.

And that's where I want to eat because that's this type of food that I eat on the regularly, not the unhealthy one. Captain Crunch from the mailbox? So again, I sneak in there. And again, they just know because the people that are trained to look in, it must happen all the time because I literally I walked in there and I grabbed the tray like I'm going through the aisle like, oh, cool, like Captain Crunch. and I'm going to grab this slice of pizza.

And as I'm going through the line, again, same thing. There's two guys. And they go, okay, let me take the tray for you. And they grabbed it. And they escorted me back to the line that I had to eat, which was the, you know, heavily cultured food. So, okay, so we now we have a very clear picture of what's going. How many days does this last before? It's two days.

So it was technically two nights. So I'm sitting there again. And the Kutte, everyone, I felt really bad. I remember sitting there. And again, at this point, I'm like, I'm so. frustrated I wanted to start crying. So like, because I'm sitting there going, this is so frustrating. I'm not supposed to be here.

Why am I here? And I'm surrounded by all these people that don't speak English. Other than Qatar. And again, I made this plate of stuff. And it's the very like standard thing where I'm sitting there with food that I don't know. And Katat, you know, looks at me, goes, like, are you going to eat that? And I go, like, eat what? I don't even know what it is.

And he goes, like, here. And they all, you know, all the Indonesians like grab it. And they all eat everything. So I don't even think I ate dinner there. And I'm sitting there. Basically going, this is so, this is frustrating. I'm really sad. So the first night I actually spent the night in the bunk bed with, again, all the guys that I kept telling I'm not, you're never going to see me again.

So same thing. We're all bunking up. So all bunking up. The second day was the actual, at that point I knew like shit was wrong. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is, this is the difference. Like, this is the foundational, like, core difference between you and I. How do you not look around right off the bat and say something's amazing?

this here. Nobody speaks English. I'm supposed to be selling art. These don't look like the buyers. What's going on? Well, I guess the only reason I let it get to that point was because, again, everybody on the actual team that I'm working for kept saying, don't worry, we're working on it. So I just kept, I had to take their word for it. And the cell phones don't work because you're out at sea. So I couldn't really do anything because I couldn't interact with them. I couldn't get out. And whenever I did, they just kept saying, we put the request into the captain. The captain has to approve it. Okay, so you spend the first night with eight other people in a bunk bed with Ket. The next morning you wake up.

Again, so the next morning we were able to get off the ship. So I got off the ship, so the second day, there wasn't too much going on. But the second night, or that night, was, again, when they usher me back on the ship. And again, so the people get to go on the standard route, and everyone else is out. And they're going around running on jet skis and doing all the fun stuff, again, that I can't do because, again, I'm labeled. as the staff. So I'm just, we're basically sitting down, and I see everybody, and they're like, you know, snorkeling and riding around the jet skis and, you know, having all this fun, again, but I can't do

it because, again, I'm supposed to be working. So they're saying, you're supposed to be working. Like, what do you, I feel like a slave in a sense, go like, what are you doing? Like, get back to, get back to, get back to, get back to, it's a little dramatic, but get back to where you're supposed to be. It's very harsh working condition. Oh, my God, I can't even with that. Very, very harsh working conditions.

So, Annabelle, is that third date still on? I mean, I want to know more about how you were a sex slave on a cruise ship. With 80% venereal disease running around. So the second night I was actually was Thanksgiving, weirdly enough. And usually I spend it with family. Everyone usually spends Thanksgiving with family. And you're supposed to, they had this big feast and this big gathering. You had a new family at this point.

And exactly, I couldn't, they wouldn't let me eat it. Or they wouldn't let me at the party because, again, same thing. I'm just not allowed to go out in public. I had to go. One of my friends brought me down. down like this little tiny plate of Thanksgiving because he knew this scenario and I kept trying to tell him like listen I've got to get out of here

I need I need to get out of this area but you can't they're very strict about it you're not in like lock up abroad you might as well be I know how seriously like really when you're in there you're not getting out until they come get you yeah you can't just go oh hey they would throw it they probably have just

detained me and thrown me in like a prison cell which probably would have been about the same thing as what I was experiencing so might have been better actually honestly it probably would have Okay, so you eat your scrotum Thanksgiving. Yeah, no, no. So he gives me the plate, like, through the door, and he goes, like, here, like, I know you're having, I know you're, you know, having difficulties. And I go, like, yeah, like, I am.

And he goes, like, sorry. You know, and I hear, like, again, like, the big party and everyone's, like having fun. Like, oh, like, is that Taylor and, like, look through the door? And I'm, like, sitting there, like, sweating, like, in the back of the ship. And he's like, oh, like, whoa, like, I thought this was supposed to get taken care of. And I'm like, yeah, it's supposed to. Like, oh, like, well, maybe it should be soon. So they gave me the plate and I go back down there in the ship.

Am I sitting on the bunk bed? And again, there's all these Indonesians around me. And I'm on the bunk bed sitting there. And I'm looking around thinking of all the fun everyone's having, all of the fun I should have been having. And all of, you know, this cruise ship was terrible. I'm out at sea by myself. And I'm sitting there eating pumpkin pot. And I remember I just start bawling.

He broke. Crying. So I'm out at sea. Give us a re-enactment. You're eating pumpkin pie. It was like sniffling. Flakes of pumpkin. It was like upper lip quivering, sniveling.

So I'm sitting there like going like. And like, again, they're like looking to me. They were like, I remember everyone was like looking to me like what? They're like, yeah, this guy is definitely not cut out for C. Like couldn't, you know, like couldn't make the cut. So because they're all like hardened men and they do this stuff. They like, they go out on cranes on the side of the ship and they fix it. So I'm sitting there.

God, if you would have gone out of a crane. on the side of the ship, I would have been like the best. I would, if I was you, I'd maybe like make up that part of the story. So keep crying. So I'm crying, eating the food. And Katut just thought it was funny because, again, he knows everybody. So it was two days, two days of shit. And then finally the next day they go, oh, well, like, guess what?

We fixed it. Everything's all taken care of. But I honestly think I might have been like emotionally scarred. You were like Tom, but Tom Hanks when they rescued him from the island. I remember when I got the room Castaway Yeah, castaway. I like using castaway references on this show.

I don't know if you guys picked. Sometimes I use the one where they like bashes his teeth out with the ice skate. Oh God, yeah. That's a good one too. Did you make like a little Wilson so you had like a white friend that you could talk to? It was Cot.

He made it up in his head. It wasn't even a real person. That's the end of the story. I haven't seen Cot in a while, but I actually have my art badge and it says Art Stewart from USA, Taylor. And then I have photos. I need.

You need to develop them because I don't remember what Katut looked like. I just remember he was a really short Indonesian man. I think he was a figment of your imagination. And I want to develop the pictures. Yeah, let's develop those. Those are from- So Annabel, we have a surprise for you. Date number three is a three-day cruise.

No, Taylor. Don't worry. Three days on a floating Walmart, aka Cruz. How many paintings did you sell after all of this? I don't think, I mean, the VIP's sole, I mean, there was, you got to realize during the whole time this was taking place. It was, I think it was a seven-day cruise, and if it had have been the entire seven days,

I probably would have jumped off the ship. You know, and I think that happens all the time where they go, we lost another one. That's a little dramatic. You got to eat pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. Like, it's not like you were like. Yeah, but it was. And you only got like one or two venereal diseases, so.

Yeah, it was like, yeah, I was eating pumpkin pie in the bowels of a ship when basically I was like shoveling coal into the fire to keep the steam engines going. I mean, all you got was syphilis. And like we had a VD rate of 80% after Taylor left, it's 100%. It was horrible. It was one of the worst experiences, but looking back, I think it's funny because a lot of people

when you go on cruises, they're sold as so much fun. And you see all these smiles. And now whenever I see a cruise commercial, all I can think of is sadness. Well, you just killed every possibility of us ever getting a cruise sponsor. Thanks for that. Yeah. Why didn't you try to be like the auctioneer? Did the auctioneer do the cool auctioneer voice?

No, they never did, actually, surprisingly. A lot of them were from England, but they never were. I feel like it was just a thing with the group. They're like, well, let's just get rid of Taylor. Like, Taylor, we're working on. Just, like, drinking and senior frogs. Like, oh, my God. No, you know what?

I think they were doing it. Can you imagine, like, Titanic? Like, like, Rose's mom was with, like, her whole posse in the corner. Like, I hope. Like, they're like, get out of here with, like, a water gun. Like, what you do to the cats, like, get back. Get back, peasant. Fetch me a flock.

I think they, I honestly, now I think about it, and they probably did do it intentionally to go, like, let's just see how long of that he can handle. Like, we'll just let this play out. I thought you saw them. They're like, we're working on it. We're working. Yeah, that's what they were.

They're like, oh, yeah. We're working on it. Another Mai Tai over here. That is exactly how it was. That's what made it so difficult is because I saw the contrast of where I was supposed to be. You know what it reminds me of is a Christmas, or Christmas Carol, where what is the guy, Jimmy Cricket? Oh, no.

Are you tiny Tim? Tiny Tim. No, no, the old guy, where they take Ebeneager Scrooge and they, like, take them back and like, this is how life could have been. Okay. It was a day. You've been saying your, like, ghost of Christmas past of like where you're. Yeah, exactly.

That's what it was like. It was like they were showing me like, this is where you should be, but you're not. You're in the bowels of the ship. All right. So that's the story of Cotette. If any of you guys know Cotette, please let us know. He's my dream podcast guest. I had my site set on Spencer and now I...

You got to have Spencer on again. And if you can find Cotette. I tell you, between Spencer and Cotette, I'm probably, I'm leaning towards Cotette. I feel like he has so many stories. I feel like you need to get another cat and name him Cet. Cotette and Tuxedo. I think that one of these days, you got to have Taylor and Michael without me on your podcast. I mean, it's...

I was jealous last time Lauren was on. I was sneaking in the background. We heard you. You made a lot. I know. I want her on the podcast all the time. But then you were just like pulling like a PK in Beverly Hills. Like he was just going back and forth.

Your podcasts are really funny. I like the chemistry between you and Megan. When I listen, I think, oh, I would love to, I would have said this. If like, I imagine... I bet you'd be like, I would have loved to go out with Megan. No, no. What I mean is, like, I imagine that I'm in that, and I go, I would have, I would have, I would have, I would have had such good flavor or flare. Wait, so you imagine that you're Megan?

You should do it. No, no, not that I imagine. I'm not that I imagine. I mean, I finally got a third microphone. The crystals are selling so well I could afford a third microphone. That's cool. I love it. Okay.

Well, I'm going to go, uh, have a conversation off the podcast with Taylor about this story about Ketak, because I have a couple questions. We are off. If you guys want to check out Annibol, you can find her on. iTunes and tell everyone where they can find you on social media. Oh, they can find me on Instagram at Annabelle De Sisto, and they can find me on Twitter at Annabelle Lee 417. I cannot get over your Twitter name. It's, like, amazing.

It reminds me of AIM. It's so embarrassing. I have eight bots of me on Twitter that started like years ago, like five years ago. Like when I was doing radio, I, like, people are like, well, which Annabelle are you? And I started getting complaints from comedians because there was, like, so many different bots. And, like, it's my same picture. and they like took, like this one I used to write like joke tweets, and they would take a couple of the real ones,

and then they would just tag a bunch of people, like, spamming them. And so comedians would be like, can you stop spamming me? I'm like, it's not me. And it's like shitting enough as if, like, I have fake counts. They had me in, like, Nebraska. And like, no offense to, like, your listeners in Nebraska, but just like in weird places. I'm like, I can't even be in, like, Paris or any cool place.

Like, I'm in, like, Jacksonville. Like, they couldn't even give me that. It's okay. Your screen name could be worse. It could be at Tales You Die 727. Tells she dies good. What did you do? He kept writing into the Instagram live and Megan was just like, oh my God, there's this really annoying girl.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. She thought it was a girl, tails he died? Well, she's like, this girl's really obsessed with Taylor. Because I guess he was just writing in questions about himself. Yeah, because I was just joking and I was like sending like, she did a podcast live and I was commenting. And Megan just would kept, she kept scrolling over him. And so I just kept going like, she must not be seeing them. Because I was driving and Megan was doing the Instagram live so I couldn't see any of the stuff.

And she doesn't know Taylor's. I don't know how it's possible that I've known you since you were 12 and you just get creepier and creepier. But it is. All right, you guys, subscribe to the skinny confidential him and her podcast, rate us, review us. Tell a friend. And with that, we will see you next week with another special guest, my sister. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential, him and her. with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic.

Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcast1.com or subscribe now on the podcast 1 app. Hey, this is Richard Marks, the host of Song Talks right here on Podcast 1. Every week, I will explore the impact of music has on our lives through interviews, the singers, songwriters, and other amazing guests about the classic songs that have impacted them. Check out Song Talks every Wednesday at podcast1.com, the podcast 1 app, or subscribe at iTunes.