The Bossticks - #59: The Evarts Family w/ Brad Evarts, Julie Evarts, & Myles McKeown-Evarts -How to Get a Man, Blending Families, & Marriage Tips

Episode Date: April 18, 2017

Brad Evarts, Julie Evarts, & Myles McKeown-Evarts join Lauryn & Michael for a family discussion about what it was like growing up in a blended family, parenting styles, not settling, the importance of getting involved in your partners interests, how young people can blend their lives in a productive way, and why being a team in a marriage is key. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Thanks for downloading this show from PC1. Before we get rolling, here's a word from one of the folks who helped bring you this podcast. The following program is a podcast.1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride.

Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. Welcome back to the skinny confidential him and her podcast. I am Lauren Everett. And I am Michael Bostic. Sexy little co-host over there. Really sexy. Whoa. Let's not get too crazy. All right. I'm just kind of sexy. So we're going to kind of hop right into the show after we give the him and her tip of the week. But today we have my parents on and my brother Miles. So this should be really interesting. We're going to get into a lot of like relationship, marriage.

new relationship, you know, advice like that. Thank God, Michael needs a couple tips this week. I need a couple tips. Yeah, you do, babe. Slow your roll, buddy. All right. You need a lot more tips than me. You need to learn to take out that trash on a daily basis, don't you?

My tip of the week is for you to pipe down. All right, I'm actually going to get into my real tip of the week. It's the her tip. So this tip has to do with Instagram editing. I get a lot of questions on how to. to edit your Instagram. So this is a tip that anyone can do. It's super easy. Download the app FaceTune. This is not sponsored by FaceTune. I just really, really like it. And instead of using it to smooth your face like a cartoon, switch it up. And Michael was actually using this tip the other

day. So it's kind of funny. So I like to shoot against a white wall or a white surface. And what's really cool about Facetune is it has this little feature where you can whiten your teeth or the whites of your eyes. And instead of using it to just whiten my teeth or the whites of my eyes, I use it for backgrounds. So I'll use it, if I shoot in front of a white wall, I'll use it to whiten the white wall so it's not yellow or too blue. I'll also use it on like food. Like say I take a picture of, I don't know, cottage cheese. You can whiten the cottage cheese so it doesn't kind of look, like I said, like orange or too cool. It's unbelievable for brightening your pictures on Instagram. It's a game change for your aesthetic and your feed. And what you can also do after you

whiten your picture. And remember, you can whiten anything. You can whiten a tree if it's too green for your feed. You can whiten the logo. You can whiten whatever you want. You can also use the little feature called detail. And what detail does is it details things that you want to draw the eye to. So say you're editing a picture of yourself. You can detail the middle of like a jean jacket. I actually just did that on my latest Instagram. I detailed my jean jacket, and what it did is it draws the eye to my jean jacket, which is what I kind of wanted to feature in that post. You could also detail a really pretty, like, bouquet of flowers.

If you just wanted the flowers to kind of stand out, you can use that. Lastly, if you have kind of like a blemish on your face or a blemish on your pitcher, sometimes I'll do a flat lay, and there's like, I don't know, like a chip in my marble table or something like that, you can kind of smooth it out with the smoother, which is super efficient. So if you don't have the app face tune, get it. But don't just use it for your face. Use it for like your flat leg, your landscape photo. It is a game changer. Well, my tip is definitely not as detailed. And I was going to give a fitness tip, but then as I was listening to you, I had a better idea. So I'm not going to get a fitness tip anymore. I'm going to go back to that one. My tip has to do

with the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up every morning and I'm guessing the majority of you pick up your phone and look at your social media or you look at your Instagram or you look at your Facebook or you check your email and immediately you're on high alert you're looking at other people, you're stressed out,

you're engaged in something else which you should be which is yourself and figuring out how to be productive in the morning. So what I've been doing lately is I go to bed and I turn my phone onto airplane mode and I leave it on airplane mode all through the night and for the first hour that I'm awake in the morning. So I wake up pretty early, so, you know, there's nobody that needs to get a hold of me that early in the morning.

And if they do, I don't care. Okay? I just don't care. What if I'm dying? Well, I actually have one of those little flip phones that I give only to people that are like, you know, super close to me in my life. That's like an emergency line, like the bat line, like the bat signal. Like if I ever hear that phone ring, I'm like, oh shit, it's going down. So, you know, if someone needs to get a hold of me, I have that. But so what I do is I leave my phone off.

I don't check any emails. I don't check any social media for the very first hour of the morning. And I kind of like get into this whole Zen moment. I read or relax. I mean, write a little bit, take it easy. And it's fully changed my life because before I would wake up and just check every email and I'd start to get super stressed and I'd freak out and it would just fully set the tone of my day. So now I make the decision on what the tone of my day is going to look like.

And it's been really helpful. I've been using his tip and it actually works really well, you guys. You should definitely try it. All right. With that, we're going to get right into the show. And next up is going to be my dad, Brad Everett's, my stepmom, Julie McEwen, Everett's, and Miles. I'm John Horn. I'm the host of Geffen Playhouse Unscripted.

I'm here with our very first guest, Rain Wilson. Hi, John. Looks like I'm the first guest on the Geffen Unclothed. Unscripted. Yeah, let's go with that. A marriage made in heaven, I guess. Or Westwood. Tune in for some of our exciting upcoming guests, David Copperfield, Neil LaBute,

Neil Patrick Harris, Josh Gad, Rita Wilson and many more. Be sure to download new episodes every Wednesday on the Podcast One app and on iTunes. And don't forget to rate, review, and share. And I'm Rayne Wilson, the first guest. You were the very first guest. This was a huge mistake. This is the Skinny Playhouse unscripted.

Huge mistake. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Welcome back, guys. We are back from the break. And we have three very exciting people here today, one of which you've already met. We have my dad, Brad Everett's. We have my stepmom, Julie Everett's, and we have my little brother, Miles. Meanie is in the corner on the computer without a mic, but she's here too.

So with that, I'm just going to let Julie start and introduce herself to my audience. I feel like a lot of my audience has gotten to know you through the Skinny Confidential because Julie has a blog called Burlap and Crystal, and she's been a huge inspiration with helping me with my house in San Diego and designing it, laying it out. So I'll let you just kind of introduce yourself for those who don't know you, though. Okay. My name is Julie Everts, and Lauren has been in my life for now 15 years, and she's like my very own daughter, and I have loved working with her in her apartments, and her and Michael's new home and helping them get some of the small details together, and she's always kind of leans to me for a little creative out-of-the-box ideas, and I enjoy that. And you help us mesh our

styles together. You help us not murder each other in our own home. It can be quite tricky when Michael wants to do the color scheme. Julie helped me with my man cave, which is the best part of the house. I tuck you away in there. And our man cave bathroom, it has a giant picture of, is it Kate Moss? It's Kate Moss. She's naked.

Do you peek at that when you take a pee? It's the whole entire walls. I don't know they peek. It's just it's there. But it's cool. It's cool, right? She did our whole bathroom. bathroom wall and Kate Moss wallpaper, which is really, really, really cool.

We also have my dad, Brad Everett's, and he's been on another podcast, but I'll let you kind of just give a quick intro. Well, that's just great to be back with you guys. I'm so proud of what you two have made here and glad to be here with my family. And we have Miles. Hey, guys, good to be here. I don't really know what else to say. Tell all the ladies out there.

Yeah, tell all the ladies who you are. Sell yourself. All right. I am the Skinny Confidentials brother, which is kind of a selling point as is for... Is that what you use when you're in a bar? You know what? Surprisingly, I haven't. I've never used it once yet, but I'm sure the time will come.

So for now, I'm Lauren... Just lead with that and see what happens. It's not a bad idea. And I'm Michael's brother-in-law, and I'm stoked to be here. And he's single and ready to mingle. Yeah. We decided to have him on. We're going to do a lot of marriage talk on this, but Miles...

A lot of relationship talk. A lot of relationship talk. And maybe we can give Miles... I was a couple pointers because he's single. Might be a little group therapy lesson for Miles over here. Michael's been taught well. He's a catch. Michael.

I mean, Miles has said well, both Michael and Miles. There we go. Michael by his father. I don't really look at you the same way. I know we're close, but we're not that close. No, we're not that close. I mean that that close. I appreciate the compliment.

Although after the last conversation I heard on one of your last podcast, I feel a lot closer. Yeah. Yeah, with Taylor. He informed me that he listened to the Lady Gang podcast on the way up here, and we almost got into a finger conversation. But we decided to glaze over that as quickly as possible. Now my dad and your mom has mentioned that I'm too busy to be fingered statement. I just now know what was really going on in the closet when you guys were in ninth grade. Oh, my God.

Seventh grade. All right. Well, it's been great having you on the show. No, in seventh grade, my dad caught, you guys have heard this story, me and Michael in the closet, half naked. and Michael was getting a little handy at 12 years old, so there's that. Okay, so we're going to hop into the questions. We have a lot of questions that are centered around marriage, because I feel like you guys have a really strong marriage and a strong foundation.

Miles, I think that you would agree. Absolutely. And I think first and foremost, you guys are friends, which I think is so important when you're married and you have a teammate. So first let's kind of just tell us the background of your marriage, along you guys have been married. You obviously blended your families, which can be quite difficult. I don't feel like it was too hard.

I mean, we had some trials, but I mean, it wasn't horrible. It's very hard, except when you find the perfect person, which I did in Julie, with a beautiful Miles and Mimi family, it makes it a hell of a lot easier. So just to give you guys background, my dad has my sister and I, Fay, and then Julie has Miles and Mimi. So it was kind of a Brady Bunch situation. Michael grew up, you are like, your family's like, how long have your parents been married? 30 years or so? 30 years. So he has a different situation.

I mean, I'm 30 now, so I think, you know, about 30 years, 32, 33. Michael has two sisters. You have a different situation. So tell us how it was blending. Okay, I'll work on that. So like I said, Brad and I met about 15 years ago and actually waited to get married for five years and in that five years, we decided to blend our families and, you know, weren't committed to marriage yet, but we were committed to being together really shortly into the relationship.

And at first, at first, it was probably a little tougher than you would expect. You know, it was different for everybody, different for my kids, different for you and Fay. And, um, you know, But we kind of worked through it after the first year or so. And then by the time we moved to our Del Mar home, you were not even living at home anymore. And it was easy. Okay. So when it was hard, I want to know how you guys dealt with that within your marriage. And if you have tips for people that are dealing with something that's maybe a hard situation like blending families or the partner is not doing something that they want.

you want to communicate it. I like this. I'll speak to that. We have different parenting styles. I mean, that's likely to happen when you're, you know, into your 40s and getting married to a new person in your life. Brad's style was different than mine, and mine was very different than his. So finding a way to bring the two different styles together and have it work for us all to stay together as a family took some time, you know. Little things like kids doing.

chores and who does what and how do we do this and how do we divide things evenly. You know, you have to work through those. They're like kinks. How are your styles different? I would say that I am, I think Brad has so much trust in you girls and had so much trust in you girls that being really vigilant, you know, vigilant supervision was just not his style. I was, you know, my children were a little bit younger and I was pretty hands-on, you know, constantly knowing where they were and what they were doing. Just just different. So were you hands-on when I decided at 18 to bring home this huge, huge, huge home-line phone?

And the phone was shaped like an erect penis. Right. And then I gave it to Mimi, who I think at the time was five. Five. and made her do a photo shoot of her talking on the phone. That was interesting. Julie didn't love that. No, no, I didn't.

Or the time that you cooked microwave or popcorn for 30 minutes. Blew up the microwave. She still does that. Yeah, I feel like you are hearing some things that I still do that I haven't grown out of. Or having a party and thinking that I'm not going to go look in the trash can the second I come home. Yeah, that wasn't smart of me. I should have been sharper there. I would have thought so.

I think I've got age gaps. You've got age gaps with all everybody. So obviously you're 18 and Mimi's six. You're going to be doing things and Mimi's going to see them. So she's going to grow up a lot quicker. But men are different to women. And men, single men, which I was when I met Julie, we do things differently. We pay attention to different priorities.

A big priority of mine was education, pushing you to school to get good grades and all that type of thing. And, you know, and I think that men. and women are just different as we know. So respect's key. And that's really with the blended, the toughest thing with blending a family for us was trying to figure out with that big of age group, 18, 11, 11, 9 and 5 trying to figure out, because I was so turned on to Julie, how I could get alone with Julie in the house just for five minutes so we could have sex. Miles, what do you think of this? What's your take on that, on that particular part? It was really fun being here.

See you guys later. But, no, I think actually, though, in terms of, like, the whole blended family thing, it was fun. I mean, it was fun growing up in a really motley crew of strange creatures. Miles has seen at all, you guys. When you live with this many women, Miles and my dad has seen it all. Yeah, no, 100%. I mean, I say it all the time.

I've grown up around women, like, the entirety of my life, obviously, with the exception of Brad and Michael. Is that what you say to the girls in the bar? Yeah. I say it, well, I say it's just about everybody. We're going to work on your pickup lines after this. I'm going to give you a couple. I don't know if pickup lines are really the move for me here. Why?

I just don't think it's like, I don't know. More of a Tinder? No, not Tinder either. Just, you know, like a normal kind of person. Like, hey, how's it going? I feel like you've not just hanging out with normal people, though. I feel like you want a couple of me. Some of your stories are quite interesting, and I feel like they're not for this podcast.

No, we can get to that on another day. Before we talk to my parents about their advice for young people blending their lives, I'm going to tell you guys about Latot. Okay, so how many times have you gone into a boutique and the sales assistant follows you around and asks you 100 questions and then you end up buying something that you don't like because you're running out the door? I feel like that used to happen to me all the time at the mall, which is why I shop online. So basically La Tote is a fashion subscription box that sends brand name clothing and accessories right to your door for one low monthly fee.

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Wear what you want. Return everything in the mail when you're done and repeat again. Again, that's latote.com. Into your code skinny and feel fabulous with fashion delivered right to your door. You know, we have some younger people listening to the show, and we're talking a lot about blending different worlds, different lives together. What is some of the biggest advice you would give young people or people that are new to marriage or maybe coming from different walks of life and getting in a relationship in order to have a,

successful relationship. Because I know with you guys, there's a whole lot more. You're blending kids or blending families. Businesses. But with just how would you, not dumb it down, but how would you teach young people

to kind of blend their lives together in a productive way? The first thing I would say is you have to like the person. You have to like the person 24-7. And you do. You have to like the person 24-7. You can, and you know, you should love the person as well.

But you have to learn to like everything about him and make small compromises when there's something that's driving you nuts. So, for example, Brad likes to empty the dishwasher for me because he knows I test it. So he asked me one day, he says, why can't you just put the forks and the spoons and the knives in separate little slots? I'm like, okay, you know, so I changed my ways. and now he has organized silverware. Teamwork. And he's notorious for bringing the vitamins down every single morning on this box, and he never puts it away. Oh, my God.

He's similar qualities. So I've learned to put it away. It's just little compromises, you know, and that don't have to be a big deal. It's just, okay, I can take that on. It's kind of like Michael with the dog food every morning. He leaves it out every single morning, and every single morning I put it away. I do that to test if you still like me As soon as you stop putting it away

It might be in for some trouble No, there's no test there I feel like all he has to do are his two jobs He has to pick up the dog shit I don't want to do that And take out the trash And I do everything else And sometimes you get a little grumpy

About your two jobs Yeah No, well Lauren had the bright idea The other day We have these dog mats And she doesn't want to look at the dog mats anymore. So she had the bright idea to buy this giant igloo that the dogs go in to go to the bathroom when I thought was just really unsanitary and disgusting. It's actually really smart if you think

about it. I'm going to explain my log. So she told me that this was going to happen and this is going on a tangent. But in the middle of the night, I heard our little dog Boone, like he was having a full meltdown, but I was too tired to get up because he got up to go to the bathroom and he sees the giant igloo and he has no idea what's going. He doesn't know to go on the igloo. Just like, you know, I wouldn't know to go in an igloo if I was him either. And so Lauren thinks this is this bright idea and I wake up in the morning and there is just a puddle of urine all over the center of our floor with a big piece of dog shit right in the center of it. And Boone's might be little, but this igloo was like, this igloo was like 250 bucks and lo and behold, it's going right in

the trash because the dogs aren't going to figure it out. So that's an instance when I would complain about my job because I'm not going to go inside of an igloo to clean up after the dogs. Okay, first of all, the igloo has a removable bottom. So let's like understand. that you can pull the removable bottom out of the igloo, and I put a mat over the removable bottom. It's actually really genius. I'm not... They go in the igloo, and the igloo like traps the smell in,

so I don't have to deal with the smell, and then you pull the bottom out and take the rug and wash it. All right, what's around a tangent? So anyways, back to the... Can you tell the... Can you help? Error. Yeah. So those are little things, but I want to get a little bit deeper.

What's, like, a problem? You don't need to give exact specifics, but what's maybe a problem that you have found that you've had throughout your... marriage that you really had to work on because I find with anything I do in my life, you have to get uncomfortable to become comfortable. Like, nothing just comes naturally. When people say they don't have to work at a relationship, I call bullshit.

It's a lot of work. It's something I personally work at every single day. One of our big challenges for me. When we first met, I was so concerned because Julie and I are so much alike. We were so much alike, and they say that opposites attract, and we really weren't opposite in so many different ways. that I saw that it could potentially be a problem. But we're so similar that we enjoy each other so much that I think we make it work.

And one of the things that makes it work is when we start to get into those arguments that you get into that are just trivial and ridiculous, we have what's called a commode key and we throw the key down and that means to take it to the next day. And we talked about this last time. Is this an actual key? It's a key in our mind that's shaped like a toilet. We haven't designed it yet so that we don't have it. But it's a key, a set of keys. We throw it down.

We stop the argument the next day we don't even remember what we were arguing about. The other thing is that we've always both believed in is having a childlike behavior with our relationship to carry, be a child. I mean, we are parents. We love being parents. And it reflects on all of you, all of our children, just because we love it. You know, we both have flaws. We both have things that we can offer to our kids. But the most important thing is the childlike behavior that we possess,

I think we pass it on down to all of you. And I think that that's so important in a relationship where just because you get old doesn't mean you. Kids, child, what it means is when you're five years old, you don't think about problems. You don't think about life. And you don't see anything as an obstacle. You can do anything. And if you can possess that all through a problem, life and continue to be an adult.

And bring it into a relationship. And bring it into a relationship. We've been successful with it. And I am just going to go off here and think of who taught you that. I'm going to guess that it was the Nans. Always remain childlike. She was hanging out with me going to sushi bars doing socky shots when she was 89 years old. Every day she embraced each day with Count My Blessings.

and smile. And she always was childlike. And she was always childlike. With her pinot grigio in hand. And I think Miles, Mimi, Faye, and you all possess that as well in your relationships when you have them. We try. Michael and I think it's so important to be a team. Right?

Well, I just, you know, when you're sharing a life with someone like that, if you're not a team, if you're constantly at odds and you're doing things to make the other person look bad or not great. I mean, I think one of the biggest mistakes I see a lot of my friends making, if any of my friends are listening, listen up closely is when they're out in public or they're in front of somebody and they get an argument with their significant other, they start to throw each other under the bus and kind of like try to win points from their friends to win the argument. And all it really does is make, it diminishes the relationship. And it kind of, it diminishes the other person. And so then you have all your friends looking at you like, oh man, that's not functional or oh, they're not great together.

And so I think it's really important to kind of protect your partner, protect your relationship. If there is an issue, if there is a problem, make sure you deal with it on your own or with somebody that can kind of give you perspective. But don't air your dirty laundry and definitely don't make your partner look bad. You know, I have to say with watching Miles with his relationships, Miles has picked nice girls, you know, we have, each one is different. There's one exception, but he picks nice girls, but beyond that, it doesn't, it doesn't, watching him the way he treats women.

Next to Michael, equal with Michael, both of them are so respectful to their women. And I'm really proud of that. With Miles, I'm really proud of it. I think that he got that from his mother and me. And I see that with every relationship he's ever had. And I see it in Michael completely. And I know he got it from his father because I know Gary is, you know, knows the key to a good relationship is keeping your mouth shut, pretty much.

Don't shut the fuck up. She's always right. All you have to do is shut the fuck up. It's not that hard. And it's hard for me. It's hard. I'm not somebody that. It's hard.

It's hard. He's working on it. I think that, you know, me and Michael, like, we are vulnerable in our relationship. Like, we totally will admit we have issues that we're working on. We're constantly working on our relationship. But at the same time, we don't go out of our way, like Michael said, to improve. embarrass each other. We want to uplift each other and we want to come as a united front and a team. And I think that you guys are also a really good example of a couple that is a team.

Yeah, there's something I kind of want to share, and that is, I think it's one of the things that makes us so successful as a couple moving forward. Not that we don't have our problems. We do. We discovered early on in the relationship what button to push for the other person to go ballistic. And for me, it was lying or fibbing. You know, Brad would say I'm just around the corner, but I knew he was just, just left the house. So that became a problem for me. And for Brad, you know, I think I mouthed off to him once or twice, and he doesn't like to be disrespected. So we go through our relationship, basically from that point forward, when we both found out what our pet peeves are, we don't touch those buttons.

So I don't disrespect him, and he doesn't fibbed to me. One of the keys to finding a wife, in my opinion, and I think Michael is attracted to you this way, Lauren, is both you and Julie walk with a big set of balls. I mean, you understand men. You'd rather be with men. You'd rather hang out. And don't get offended to any of Lauren's friends out there.

I just mean men like women. that get men. And both of you do that now, but that also can turn into women in the bedroom. And I can contest that Julie does do that. Well, Miles, what's your take on that again? She takes her balls off at the door.

Ew, you just told your wife and your daughter that they have balls? Okay, Taylor. Does anybody have... Well, my dog doesn't. My new dog, Moose has no balls. Does anybody have a set of extra commode keys? Wait, can we just have a little side note that my dad got a dog for Christmas. We gave him a lab. And it's the cutest

lab, the most beautiful lab, his name is Moose. So my dad started to get concerned after like three months when he didn't see like a weener. There was like a little speck. So my dad got so concerned that he actually called the breeder and the breeder's a woman and he said, you know, I don't know how to say this, but where's his dick? And the breeder said that she has a line of dogs. The reader's calling the police. Rad is on a list. A line of dogs that don't have the biggest

who-who. Right. It's a doodad. It's probably always going to be a doodad. It is tiny. Maybe that'll be your next necklace, Michael. Michael has my chihuahua's claws on his neck. Okay, we're going to tell you how to land a man, but first I want to tell you about stamps. com. So these days, you guys know you can get everything on demand. Like our podcast, you can basically

listen whenever you want, whenever it's convenient for you, while you're cooking, why you're doing makeup, uh, while you're driving, whatever. So why are you guys still going to the post office and dealing with the limited hours, the lines? It's kind of annoying. Taylor, if you're listening, you should really look at stamps.com because the guy gets up and leaves the office on a regular basis to go and return his thousands of vials that he's bought. It was a terrible investment that he bought all these vials. And so now he's unloading them on a daily basis and going to the post office to do so.

So, Taylor, maybe invest in Stamps.com so that you can get rid of that vinyl and not leave the office. Yeah, the post office is out. I would rather just do it right from my desk with Stamps.com. You can buy and print official U.S. postage for any letter or package using your own computer and printer. And unlike the post office,

stamps.com never. closes. I literally do it from my bed. All right. So right now you can use my code Skinny for this special offer. It's a four-week trial, including postage and a digital scale. Don't wait. Go to Stamps.com. Before you do anything else, click on the radio microphone at the top of the home page and type in Skinny. That's Stamps.com. Inter skinny. Stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. So I want to dive a little bit deeper into something that you said because I think as a father, you've instilled from me from the beginning is, I mean, I'm going to say this in the most simple way, how to get a guy. And I think there's a lot of women right now that are listening and they're single.

And they're kind of wondering how to walk the walk and play the game. And I'm a huge fan of kind of playing the game. You got to play the game. You know, you can't give it up right away. Like I'm, I've watched you before Julie date a lot of different women. And some of them were extremely desperate, not to be mean, but they were. I can do names later. And some of them were too needy and too high maintenance. And I watched that as a little girl. And so I always tried to go the opposite of what those psychos that you dated were doing.

So if you have any tips from the women that you've dated, because you guys have both dated a lot of girls. Don't wrote me into this. I'm not in the hot seat right now. What are some tips for some women that are single that are trying to hook a decent, cool guy? Let them have their space. And Julie will say that too. I'll let Julie add to it.

But I mean, what attracts me to Julie is she pushes me out to go and do other things. And they need to have space. You need to have trust. Trust is the key thing to everything both ways. But with you all to have trust and know that your mate is, someone that you can allow to go to Vegas or New York or wherever, just take a trip and not worry about what they're doing and not be needy. Okay, but what if there's a girl that hasn't hooked the guy yet?

Like, what are some tips to get the guy? I know the tips that I've used that you've told me. You've been very, very specific. She wants to know, like, when you're initially dating someone, we can maybe loop miles into this because he's out there in the wild, you know, he's on all the dating us. I feel like I could definitely comment on this. But I want to know what, I guess, you know, I've been out of it for so long. It's been 10 years.

I don't know what's going on anymore. You're dead. What is it that is repelling these women from finding a good man? And be honest, be real. I have some ideas. I've done some things on this on the skinny comment. I've wrote some posts on it. Get real.

But I want to hear your take. I mean, I think personally, if a girl is more like direct and honest with me and just like straight up about what she wants, that already is huge. for me. Like, anybody that knows what they want, it's confident in what they want. Real big bonus points there. Independent.

Yeah, independent. Like, has their own shit going on. Always cool. But, um... Not too needy. Yeah. And I know games are always going to be a part of dating, no matter what, but... And all through a relationship, you have to play a little game.

You have to have your game on. My game's still on, and Michael and I've been together forever. My game is on, babe. Like, literally it's on. If you want to land the man, you just... You don't... I'm available. You cannot, you can't be available 24-7.

You've got to have your own life and go out and not be uninterested. No one wants a cling on. No. Okay, so that's advice that you gave me all through high school. Be uninterested. Don't move in. Live on your own. I wouldn't say be uninterested though.

No, a little bit. Just enough. You got to have like a give and take, you know? There's got to be like equal parts like I'm interested in you. You're interested in me. But I still have my own shit going on. Yeah. Nothing's more accomplishing than getting the girl.

you never thought you were going to get. That's a big accomplishment. You don't think you can get the girl that you want. Why are you pointing at me? I always knew I was going to get you. What the hell you pointed for? What do you think I stuck around for so long? You stuck around for 20 years.

You were like, yeah, I knew it was going to happen. A hemorrhoid that I couldn't get rid of. In high school, though, and out of high school, you told me never to move in. Both of you told me this with a man unless you were engaged. And the reason that you told me that was not so much to play a game. It was, one, I think, because you really wanted me to have my own independence and have that experience of living alone. Right. And two, I think you wanted me to have my own shit going on.

And I distinctly remember coming over to your house, I was about maybe 22 or 23, and I said, I'm going to move in with Michael. And you both said, no. And you guys are only opinionated with specific things that you feel very strongly about. you guys typically let me be to the tune of my own drum. Right. But you both were like, no. And there wasn't any, but it was like, no. Don't do it.

Don't do it. And so I really took your advice to heart. And I went and looked for an apartment and found a super cute, beautiful space that really helped me decorate. And I moved in by myself. And it was the best year and a half because I just got to discover my taste and my style and my vibe and like how I wanted to live without Michael. And then we got engaged and ended up.

moving in together and we're going to be living together for the rest of our lives. So thank God, I got that my own space. But say there's a girl right now that's out there that's thinking about moving in with their significant other. Why were you guys so strong with your conviction of not to move in together? Well, you made the point when you said we wanted you to have your time for you. You know, you only get time for you once in your life because you're going to get married, you're going to have children, and you won't have time for you. So, So it was partly because we wanted you to experience that, you know, because it's such a sense of freedom and accomplishment when you do move out on your own. And you're, you know, you're making your way through your life.

You go from your parents to school, to living with college mates, to living with friends, and to jump into marriage and not take that independence and that just your own time to turn your own music on, to keep everything clean. I mean, and you're that. I mean, you are OCD with everything with that. And you got that from. That's your fault. Probably. Yeah. And you're, yeah.

I mean, I'm a housewuss. I was a housewuss. But you're taking to the ninth degree. And it's good for anybody to do that in life to, to be able to be by yourself. Even if you can just move into like a one bedroom studio and just make it super cute, I really highly recommend doing that before you get engaged or married. It's so liberating and it's so freeing. And I completely found my direction and my trajectory while I was living alone. And I, like, am so glad you guys told me to do that and I listened to you. And now you're doing that.

Well, you're living with roommates, but. Currently, yeah. And that's what you do. But I think that's probably my next step. I mean, as much as I love my roommates, they're all best friends of mine. But it's a lot. There's a lot of testosterone floating around the house. you know there's been a couple of close calls so it's probably about time it's you know maybe maybe we look into getting a studio here pretty soon I know just the area for you when you want a studio by the way there's a couple cute ones towards the end of me living with my roommates who I'm still like really good friends with I think one of us through one of each one of each other through the big screen TV the kid was basically laying in there like he was on

TV so one of us threw a keg through a door you know but the other secret is when you what you get together and you're with that person that you marry and you love is still having that, having that feeling but you're with the person. That's amazing. And then treasuring it, remembering what got you there and keeping that throughout the whole course of the marriage all the way through. Don't get distracted with all the bullshit that's out there because it is just all bullshit. Sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say I gave you a man cave, so I feel like I've really done that to the full extent.

We've talked about a lot of things that work. You have four kids, four children, and you also know me and all my sisters and you know all of our friends. Love them all. What do you think some of the biggest mistakes you see young people making in a relationship are? Like if you could, having an eagle eye view and watching all of us grew up, what do you think some of the biggest mistakes you see are that don't work? That you want to jump in and say, hey, really don't do that, do this. but you guys don't do that, but if you could give young people advice. Well, I'll just speak from observation because there is someone that's close in our lives that we've observed in relationships.

And not many, just a few and generally long term. And you know when it's right. It resonates with everything you do and think. And when you try to, if you try to put around, you know, around, you know, around. peg in a square hole, it doesn't work. And so if you don't feel completely yourself with someone, then that's not right. And I see people, and I see people trying to make things work because so much of it is right, but not completely.

So then what's the follow up to that? If it's not working, how do they get out? If they don't feel like they're completely themselves, then they probably are not partnered with the right person that brings out the best in them. So try something different. I think that's great advice. I think what that comes into a simple thing would be don't settle. Exactly.

Don't settle. And I just did a blog post on The Skinny Confidential about this. I said, you know, even if you're 35 years old and you had planned for you to have kids and be married at that age, don't compromise, don't settle. Because maybe it'll happen for you when you were 40 and it'll happen right. I mean, personally, if I wasn't with Michael and I always say this, I think I would be single and I would embrace every single second of it. You're a coupling person Oh, thanks, Daddy I'd be hitting the town

Me and Miles would be out in the streets Literally you're in bed by 9 o'clock With a book and noise cancelling headphones Maybe not if you were seen it That's where you two relate to one another It's better for me I need to like a strong anchor You don't need to wait necessarily

I mean The mistake people make mistakes when they get married, which I did, it was not a mistake. I mean, you make mistakes in getting a divorce. Divorce is horrible. I mean, I would recommend to anybody to stay away from divorce. We won't go on that topic right now. So there was no mistake in me getting married at 26.

You know, the mistake was made by drifting, which is where we don't come with all kinds of knowledge on every single step you make. But one, certain ones we do, and that's one that I can. only say to both of you and anybody out there that to respect one another and have communication and treasure when if you're going to make the dive and get married then do select correctly as you best you can but people are going to be different you're going to have know that it's not going to be perfect and and love one another and trust one another and continue to have act childlike keep the childlike and keep the sex alive i mean i'm turned on to julie sorry i'm turned on to

Julie, today, in fact, unfortunately, Miles driving home with us, I was hoping to test out her new car. Miles, when do you think of that? Again, let's follow up on that with Miles. You're loud in the back. It's always, always slightly disturbing, but at the same time, good for them. These are both full-grown adults in their early 50s, we'll go with for you, Brad. Mimi's projectile vomiting in the corner. I think the common theme there, though, to dissect it, if something's not working out and something's not right, don't keep going, right? I think a lot of people have a difficult time

pulling the plug. And while my thought process doesn't really work that way, I see it, I've seen it a lot with a lot of young people. I know where they're in a relationship, they don't have any kids, they don't have any commitment, they're not married, but for some reason, they know deep down, all their friends know, they know, but they can't pull the plug. And it's, you know, it's easy for us to point fingers and to look and say, hey, do this, it's not going to work out because, you know, once you get a little bit older, you know, I'm 30 years old now. But it's for young people that are listening, for some reason, they have a lot of difficulty pulling the plug.

Like they feel like they cannot get away. Thoughts? Well, it's like business. Business is in a relationship, a marriage. I'm talking marriage, not just relationships, but even with the relationship, business, if it's not producing money, I mean, you have failures, you have successes. You know, then it's not producing. And if you're not producing love and you're not producing fun and excitement and excited to see one another.

And laughter. And laughter, which Julie and I have with Miles and Mimi and you and Faye and Michael. Lafter is important. It's really important. And it's all simple stuff. You got a lot. It's all simple shit. The other day I heard a phenomenal podcast and it was actually your dad.

I've listened to Gary's. Bravo Gary. Shout out to Gary Bostic. It was amazing podcast with Lauren. Michael and ask him and her. But he said, you know, he talked about business in that puzzle. And putting a business together, 100% I could relate to. I'm like, oh, my God, what a great analogy.

Relationship's no different. You've got to take the piece. If you treat it like a puzzle just like you do a business and you put it together properly, it'll stay together. And you concentrate on all the things. The pieces. The pieces are so important in a relationship, no different than a business. There's one point, though, that he, that we didn't get into.

but I know he would agree with me on is that as you're putting that puzzle together, if you realize it's going to be a really shitty puzzle, you've got to get rid of it. You've got to scrap it and move on. 100%. How's our puzzle? We're still putting the pieces together.

Yeah, we're still putting that piece. You guys are doing several puzzles at once. The picture's pretty good. You have more than one puzzle. Yeah. We've got a lot of puzzles. Yeah. You have great...

We're still talking about puzzles. Great puzzles. But the point is, you know, to get to the point, when you have all these beautiful things and can implement all these great relationship tips and advice, you actually have to have a good foundation to begin with. And I think a lot of young people, they try to force things sometimes and they realize, hey, this is not going well. And I just want to point out that you have so much time. There's so much opportunity to meet new people. There's so

many people out there. If something's not going right and everyone around you is telling you it's not right, and you're feeling that, hey, this might not be right. You've got to be able to move quickly. It's the same in business. If you get in a deal and something's wrong and it's really wrong and you know it deep down, like you've got to be able to pull out. I think it's important, too, to like sit down and sit with your thoughts and meditate. You're sick. Probably didn't want to use the word pull out, but that's all right.

Sit with your thoughts and meditate. Like when I say meditate, I mean, just really think if this person is, you see this person in five years, in 10 years. You see yourself growing family in a future. And if there's something in you that it doesn't feel right, My opinion is don't waste one more fucking second. Get the fuck out and move on. I'm definitely not someone, unless it's something that you know that you can work at,

I'm definitely not someone to just sit in a situation that I know it's not going to turn out good. No. And the other thing I'd just add to that is resource to your family, resource your close friends, your tight group. They have insight to seeing you with someone else. and if they tell you my mom's looking at me right now if they tell you that they sense

that this is maybe not the right fit for you ask why it's called Steve calls it in an inquiry Steve's always talking about that one of our friends Steve helps us a lot with our relationship he does a lot of coaching and he's someone that we can sit down with

as both of you guys are in Miles and Meenie and just talk about our relationship super openly and he's always, he asks us if we're at request for coaching. Oh, yeah. And if I say no, that means basically F off. Right. Okay. So what's something that other people don't agree with you guys on about marriage? That's worked for you. Something like, what's something that most people would say we don't agree with that? That's not going to work for us. That's not going to work in our marriage or in our relationship that has worked for you guys. I'll speak to it because we have a very close friend of ours that we spend a lot of time.

with and his marriage is not on solid ground. And I think one of the reasons is they didn't play together. I mean, they didn't have a hobby. You guys work out together. You do a lot together. It's important to play together. It's important to have your spouse participate in the things that you like to do. Like Brad wants to go fly fishing.

So, you know, it's not on my top list, but I'll go. You know, it's just you need to, you have to play together. Fly fishing. Well, I'd like to go fly fishing. I think a lot of people, you know, get complacent in their marriages and relationships. And, you know, the wife may be into her thing and the husband gets into his thing. And then before you know it, they're just not spending any time together. And it doesn't help the foundation of their marriage.

And they actually can't find their way back sometimes. So it's important to include the other person in the things that you love. Even if it's as simple as like scheduling an hour for you to read in bed next to each other. I mean, I think like Michael and I love to just like sit in silence and read next to each other. I think that I would even consider that playing together. Absolutely. Something that you can both detach like from everything else and just focus on the book. If you read it together, we love reading books together.

And I know not definitely not everyone's going to agree with this. And everyone like the majority, I'd say 95% of the people Lauren and and I speak with when we told them we were going to be working together. They say, oh, that's going to destroy you guys. It's going to ruin your relationship. And definitely there's been some hurdles. But I actually think, yeah, in a lot of ways, it brings us closer. And I think, you know, just to touch on the point that just because the majority of people say something's not going to work,

if you're with somebody else and you really care about them, you guys, people got to do what works for them in that relationship. And so I think sometimes even listening to this podcast, maybe people can just listen to it and say, actually I'm not going to listen to any of that advice. And that might be right. That's what I call beating to the tune of your own drum, which is my favorite thing. It's really, it's not that complicated. And everybody, when they get together and they make a commitment to love each other and be together and enjoy one another.

And don't, I mean, I've seen the best of marriages, including my own, go south. So it happens to everybody. And if you allow it to, keep the fun and the marriage, keep the childlike behavior. and respect for one another. And because as you go through life, you're going to go through tons of up and downs, and the downs are better than the ups. They're much more important in a life.

And at the end of a life, it's always how well you rise after you've fallen. The people that rise after they fall and how well they rise is shows that's what you can be proud of. Right. Well, it's your reputation. I love all these tips, Miles. I hope you're writing them down

in your composition notebook. It's all up in the nuggin. And you're going to... He's the head. Malice is paying good attention. Mimi's even paying better attention behind me. I know. Daya.

I call Mimi Daya because sometimes she can be diabolical because everyone thinks she's a angel. That's super sweet and innocent. She and I know better. But she listens to me and I like that. Yeah. Go on her Instagram and comment Daya. You guys, if you're listening. All right.

Well, I picked up some relationship tips from this even. I hope Michael has. as a few etched in his head. Michael, what's your number one tip that you picked up out of this? I've learned that you have to compromise a lot more for me. No, Michael. What's one tip that you picked up that you're going to utilize? Well, I think the, I mean, there's a lot of the stuff we've talked about,

but I think definitely for me is, you know, the tip on basically loving every, working on it, but loving every trait. You know, I just wanted to mention, you know, you told a story about Brad saying he's around the corner and he's really not even close. Lauren does this thing to me where she sends me down to our parking garage where we have no service and no life down there. There's no food and water. You might as well be in the middle of nowhere. It's like a dead zone.

And she goes, come down and help me with my bags. I'm here. Like, okay. And so I get out of whatever I'm doing and I shoot down to the garage. And I literally stand there. Like, if you see me on the security cameras of my building, you just see me walking back and forth for 10 minutes with no service, just pissed off pacing around. So, you know, I'm going to learn to try to embrace that because, me. Most of the time I'm just down there fuming.

The worst is that I just got a dog stroller, and I insist that he brings the dog stroller down with him so I can put my stuff in the dog stroller, so now he's pacing around with a camo dog stroller. So if any of our neighbors hear this, I'm sorry if you've seen me pacing around red face with a dog stroller in the garage late at night. Well, it could be worth.

There's three things I'm really thankful for, and one of them is you to allowing us to get on this podcast, because if I could do another shout-out, we were able to obtain a phenomenal lighting contractor and who's helping us with our lighting for our new business that we're going to be opening. My dad is opening a restaurant called Al Say. It means moose.

I wanted to put a shout out to R&D. Yeah, and R&D is doing the lighting, and they're incredible. Thanks to you guys, because they heard us on the podcast and the things. The other thing I'm thankful for is that Julie didn't bring up the melon. No. What's the melon? Oh, it was a health thing that went down that we, everybody knows. No, what's the melody?

No, we weren't. We didn't bring it up. Okay, that's at the end. Something gross and sexual. Moving on to three. Okay. And the other is my family. My beautiful family here, beautiful wife and children and son-in-law and family-in-law.

Moose and his no penis. And my dog without. He's a eunuch. Let's call him a eunuch for now. One day we're going to wake up and he's going to be on top of Julie. Oh, broad. Well, it happened the other day, but I know there's nothing there. Ew.

Okay, guys, on that note, they will all come back on the podcast and say hi. Definitely, if you're single, though, hit up Miles on Instagram. I'm going to let him push his handle right now. Yeah, it's just Miles McEwen. M-Y-L-L-E-S. Best guy on the planet. MC-K-E-O-W. You want to be treated right.

Do you want to be a handle? Miles, say your handle so girls can contact you. All right. Yeah, I'll just, I'll do it one more time because I had a couple of people spelling over me. So it's Miles McEwen. That's M-Y-L-E-S-M-C-K-E-O-W-N. Who wants to be my sister? All right, guys. Thank you for listening. Thank you for subscribing. Rate and review our podcast. Follow us at the Skinny Confidential on Instagram and at Michael Bostick on Instagram. And you can always come along on Snapchat for some

BTS. We will see you next week and thank you for listening. Thanks for listening to the Skinny Confidential, him and her with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostick. Download episodes every Tuesday at podcast1.com or subscribe now on the podcast one app. I'm Rob Sesternino. If you're a fan of reality TV games like Survivor, join us for fun, smart conversation on Rob has a podcast. The Survivor game changers are dropping like flies, and we're breaking down every shocking vote with episode recaps, player interviews, and taking your questions. And this summer, we'll be back talking Big Brother, plus post-show recaps of Game of Thrones. So download Rob has a podcast at Podcast.com, the Podcast One app, or subscribe on iTunes.