The Bossticks - #63: Battling Addiction with Faye Evarts and Johnny Cheek - A conversation about the struggle of drug addiction

Episode Date: May 16, 2017

Lauryn's sister Faye Evarts joins Lauryn & Michael to share her personal journey with battling addiction. From a teenager who never thought she would ever use drugs, to becoming at one point and time homeless & dependent on illegal substances, Faye has completely turned her life around and is here to share her story. We also hear from Johnny Cheek, Faye's significant other, who has battled addiction as well. Johnny shares his story in-which he battled drugs, had multiple stints in jail and has since turned it all around, and now has a beautiful family and a business of his own. To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Thanks for downloading this show from PC1. Before we get rolling, here's a word from one of the folks who helped bring you this podcast. The following program is a podcast.1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride.

Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. Greetings from France. It's Lauren Michael. Howdy, howdy, howdy? We are in the middle of nowhere. I'm going to have Michael tell you exactly where we are because I'm not the best of geography. So it's not that difficult to figure out, Lauren. We just use Google Maps. We're in a small town called Vance, France. It's in the hills, up in the mountains, a little bit outside of Nice and Cannes in the south. And we didn't know we were going to be out here till late last week. And we hopped on a flight, shot over, a little bit jet lagged. And we wanted to be. to, you know, just give a little bit of context of where we are before we give the introduction to the show. So as we get into the show, this is definitely different for us.

I'm kind of putting something that has been a hardship for me out there for starting with the podcast and I'm going to follow it up with a blog post. We are going to talk about my little sister's addiction. And we're also going to talk about her fiancé who struggled with addiction as well. They actually met in rehab. So this is going to be something different. And I'm very careful with what I share because I feel like I don't want to tell other people. I don't want to tell other people's story.

So to bring her on the podcast and allow her to tell some of her story and then for me to give my perspective on the blog is kind of the way we decided to do it. The reason being that it was important for us to talk about this issue is because I feel like I've gotten a lot of emails about people that are struggling with addiction. So I think that maybe this podcast will help if you're out there dealing with addiction or you have a family member who's dealing with it. I'm just hoping that this will bring some kind of light and help. So before we get into the interview, I wanted to give a little context. When we recorded this a couple weeks ago, and I'd say this is the longest period of time since we've actually recorded an episode.

This is the one that took us the longest to release. We recorded about close to a month ago now. but it's, you know, we've kind of been going back and forth with how to release it and how to provide context behind it. So when you guys hear it, we're basically just jumped into a conversation with both Johnny and Faye. So bear with us. It's not going to be like a typical interview with a lot of questions.

You're kind of just coming into a conversation and we're basically letting you guys be like flies on the wall and just share in that conversation. So it's not interview style. It's more of like, hey, you're listening to a group of people talk about the struggles with addiction. So there's going to be some things where maybe you get a little bit confused in terms of context. And so I'm hoping that this introduction will kind of give you a little bit of preview of like, okay, this is a conversation that you guys are listening to.

It's two people talking about their struggle with addiction. Both have been clean and sober now for years. They have a beautiful kid together. That's also Lauren and I's nephew. And I'm the godfather. I wish someone played the godfather music, Kevin, if you're listening. And his name's Daxon. And so both of these people have really turned their lives around and struggled immensely with

addiction. And I'm hoping that this show will either provide some help or some information or some context for people that may also be struggling with addiction. And I definitely want to try to have my sister on again so we can get a little bit deeper because I think that there's so many stories and so many different things that I went through as a family member of an addict. It was definitely very hard to experience my little sister being an addict for six years. It was something that was hard on our family as well as her. So we'll try to have her back on again to get even deeper. But with that, let's get right into it.

You guys get to be flies on the wall. But before we do, I want to just personally from Lauren and I thank Johnny and Faye for coming on and telling the story. It's not an easy story to tell from either of them. And it takes a lot of courage to kind of put yourself out there like this and be vulnerable to the world and to an audience of this size. So I just want to thank both of them and tell them how proud Lord and I are, both of them for, you know, battling this and beating it and struggling with it every day.

And with that, we're going to jump right into it. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. We're going to kind of do a different format here. We're going to interview both of you and Johnny on this show. But first, I want to start with you, Faye. So start up. Tell us, you know, tell us who you are. Introduce yourself.

Say hello to everyone out there. I'm Lauren's little sister, her blood sister. I'm five years younger than her. And I suffered from an addiction when I was 13 on to 21. At first it started off with, you know, the normal smoking weed, drinking at parties, drinking on the weekends. And I thought it was just partying just like everyone else. And it turned into a full-blown addiction with heroin and methamphetamine in the end.

it got very dark and very ugly fast. And for that, I can say today that I am grateful that it got so dark so quickly because everything turned around when I was 21 years old. I ended up in a homeless shelter called the Linhouse in Orange County. And my whole life has changed from there. I've been sober for five years now. I have a beautiful seven-month-old son and a wonderful life all through AA and working the 12 steps and the help of other women and believing in a power greater than myself. But before that, like I was saying, it started off just like everybody else and I started dabbling in pills and heroin and very hard drugs. I stopped focusing on school, stopped focusing on friends, definitely stopped focusing on my family

and caring about other people. And I was just in this really selfish tunnel, focused solely on getting high and not feeling or thinking about what was really going on in my life. So I want to... Heading nowhere and very lost. I want to touch on a few things that I really want to get detailed here and get some, like, crazy stories from you. When you say you started like everyone else, I think like it's so far off, like not a lot of people, maybe, I don't think a lot of people have had these crazy experiences.

So what was like, what was the gateway? Like what was the first thing that you started doing? What was like, how were you introduced to drugs in the first place? I first tried weed, marijuana when I was 13 and I didn't like it. I was very paranoid. I never really tried it again for like another two years, maybe until ninth grade. And then I started drinking alcohol at like bar mitzvahs. We would take my dad's alcohol. Sorry, Daddy. Or my friend's parents.

And then I tried ecstasy and Xanax and hydrocodone and somas and percocet. I guess what I'm trying to. I guess what I'm trying to figure out is like how do you at such a young age even get access to all this stuff? Because like when I'm growing up, there's just, you know, there's obviously there's alcohol and there's marijuana, but we just weren't exposed to that kind of level of narcotic. Right. Well, today I think it's changed in that aspect. I think that kids have access to a lot of hard things, especially in even the more wealthier areas. You're saying like you never had problems finding this stuff. No, I never had problems. It was always offered, always at our fingertips. and I think when people know that you do do it or you're looking for it, it finds you.

I think that nowadays in high school, it's gotten a lot harder, a lot quicker. And I do hear a lot of stories being in the program and being involved in the AA community where people start very young. And some people even get it from their parents. So what do you think? Or do it with their parents? Like what kind of a, like what do you think led you to want to try these drugs? you know, for me, for somebody who's never, you know me, I don't try any drugs or anything

like that, because I never had the urge. But what kind of, like, so what kind of emotional state or what kind of thought process leads you at such a young age to say, hey, I'm going to try these things. Because these are, you know, I remember going through like, you know, when you're a kid and you like the little like the DARE program comes in and like basically someone says, if you try cocaine, like your life is over and you're going to die. And so like for me, I was like, holy shit, I'm going to die. I better not do that. So how do you, how do you all of a sudden you make the jump? Like, what kind of emotional state were you and you're hey, I'm actually going to try this stuff.

Well, it's funny because when I was really young, I was one of those people that never had, I really didn't understand drugs, I really didn't like them. I never wanted to even party. I didn't know why my sister would have fun in high school or they would go to the movies on Friday nights. And I would always tell my dad that's not going to be me. I'm going to be a virgin. And I, you know, had no idea where my life was headed. But I think also from a very young age, I just felt different.

Like I just felt not okay in my own skin. You told me that. You said you felt off. Yeah. I think I was very insecure. I don't know if that has to do with my genetics or my upbringing or my disposition or medley. Yeah, it could be a medley of many different things.

But I think that once it was offered to me and once it was ingested in my system, my body chemistry reacts with it differently than most normal. quotes, as you would say, some people would say people. I think that I am predisposed to alcoholism and addiction, and I think that my genetic makeup, you know, I think I have to be careful more than most people, which is why I don't even touch alcohol. I didn't have a problem with alcohol back then. I would say it was more drugs and downers and stuff like that, but I don't even want to risk it today because my life is so good and because I do have a family history of alcoholism, I don't even touch, you know, liquor.

So I remember when I first started feeling suspicious of your drug use, I think I was like 21 years old and I was cocktailing and you called me and you said, Lauren, I need you to come pick me up. And I said, why? And you said, why didn't you tell me that we have aliens in our family? And right there I was like, huh, what's going on? So I went and picked you up and I could tell immediately that you had taken something. And I didn't know the full story, but I called daddy and had my dad come over and we sat you down and could tell that you were high.

And I think what had happened is you had taken something that was the wrong thing. Like it was like an ecstasy pill laced with something. What was it? Yeah, it was an ecstasy pill laced with methamphetamine. So I was basically on a, you would call a bad trip or very, very paranoid. I was in a psychosis. A psychosis. That's what you called it.

And it was really, really scary. And from then on out, I just remember, like, bad experience after bad experience, after bad experience. And it started to get worse and worse and worse. And with you, I feel like it was very aggressive where it escalated extremely quickly. Like it wasn't like a slow kind of addiction from what I saw. Right. It was a very aggressive, aggressive, yeah, it was intense.

So basically from there, I was in like a psychosis for many years. Like I still felt, and it was actually that I felt like I was an alien. And it's embarrassing to say, but it is the truth. I tripped out on ecstasy. And ever since then, you know, I had to numb myself because I was so paranoid all the time. I stopped being friends with everybody. I really cut my family off, and that's when I would just isolate and invert deeper into myself and get high so that I could feel good about myself. So what was the drug of choice?

My drug of choice towards the end was Xanax. So it wasn't really, it wasn't like methamphetamine or ecstasy. It's just like you would do those things if you were under the influence of something else. If somebody gave you something, you'd say, okay, I'll take that too. Right. I mean, there was no boundaries there. So it wasn't like you weren't seeking out ecstasy. and meth.

It's just like if it was there, you would do it. Yeah, I actually hated uppers. I hated ecstasy and meth. So I would just do whatever was there, even though I didn't like it. And that's part of being an addict, as you'll, you'd have no boundaries and you'll just do anything because you don't know who you are. So when, I mean, I know, but tell the audience when you, for anyone out there who's maybe struggling with this, when did you realize, holy shit, this is like this is getting really bad?

basically when I lost everything. I say a lot, not for everybody, you can't generalize it, but for most people they have to lose everyone and everything to get help. So the addict, of course, doesn't want to hear that. But for me, I had to lose my family, like I said, my friends, the dealers had to cut me off. You know, I had to lose my house. My dad kicked me out of my house. He cut me off with money.

He cut off my car. He cut off my phone. I mean, I had nothing. I was living on people's couches, you know, scrounging around like a homeless person. I was a 21-year-old girl who grew up in a suburban community. And my life took a turn for the worst. I was living in a trailer in downtown San Diego with some drug dealer who even kicked me out of there. Yeah, I remember that time.

It was really, really hard for my family to cut my sister off. my dad took a very long time to realize that this was really the only way. It was hard for my stepmom. It was hard for my grandma, my sisters and brothers. It was a really difficult decision. But finally, I kind of realized, like, if everyone doesn't cut you off and stop enabling this drug use, like, you're going to die. And I remember getting on a plane with Michael to year up when I was like 21. And I remember sitting there thinking, I'm done. She has to, this, she has to figure this out on her own. And I'm such a control freak, as you know, that was really hard for me to have a situation that was so out of control. I think that that situation has made my control

freakism even worse, because it was like my little sister who, you know, I've grown up with my whole life, completely out of control and there was nothing I could do. I mean, we had interventions with you. We tried everything. We tried, you know, giving you a car, everything, and it just wasn't working. So finally we came to the decision as a family that the only way for us to kind of, you know, stop the madness was to just stop enabling you. And the second that we did that, I think it was like a month later, you ended up in rehab. Right. And I don't, I think most people think that that's not going to work. I think that most people want to hold on to control because they're scared if they don't control it, that person is going to die or things are going to get worse. And that's why for

parents that, I mean, for parents, now that I'm a parent, I just can't. imagine like just letting my child go onto the street kicking him out cutting him off i mean that's so hard it's so hard but it's the best thing that ever happened to me and it is what you have to do if you know somebody that's struggling from an addiction a loved one a boyfriend a girlfriend a sister or brother and aunt whoever it may be um you really got to just block their phone number uh stop helping them the longer that they have any kind of help i mean drug addicts will leach and leach and leach onto any little last strand, you have to completely cut them off. And that is actually helping them more than anything. And when my whole family and everyone around that, around me did that,

that's when I got sober. And I've been sober ever since. Give us an example of a strand that maybe we as a family was giving you that maybe one wouldn't think about. Like what, what's something that we were doing that was enabling you? Because I know you, I've heard you say that sometimes the family is as sick as the addict where they're addicted to actually helping the addict. Am I saying that right? Well, the way I look at it is the reason it's so tough to touch on what you're saying, and I'm not a parent, but I can just thinking about it, is the way I looked at you when you were going through this, and I talked to Lauren about this, I said, listen, she's either

going to get help or she's going to die. And it might not have been, and it's hard to hear, but it might not have been that year or that month or six months, but like the way you were going, there was not a lot of road left. And I think what's so hard for parents is the only way, like you said, to help them is to really let them hit rock bottom and cut them off. But you're also throwing the dice saying, shit, if I let my child go, I might not see her again.

And so that's what's difficult. But at the same time, it's like it's a catch-22 because if you don't let them hit rock bottom and they don't get help, again, like I said, it's a matter of time before you run out of road. Right. And going back to what Lauren was saying about that strand that I was continuing to hold on to.

I would say that my dad's love. My dad would not. He couldn't, I don't think he could let me go as easy as others. I think that he was really scared to do that. And there's no, there's no harm in, like, I don't feel angry or anything about that because now that I'm a parent, I know that, I mean, it's just got to be the hardest thing in the world to do is let your child go and figure it out for themselves. but he did enable me in a sense where he would give me money from time to time. He did let me live in his house. And, you know, there was a lot of pandemonium and a lot of chaos on my part.

He did give me a car. And, you know, even, I mean, he wasn't like throwing me hundreds and hundreds of dollars a week or anything. Like, it would just be maybe $20 here and there. But even that was enough to. to fuel my addiction. Okay, so Faye's going to tell us about the week that led up to her deciding to get sober, but before we get into that, I want to tell you guys about Blue Apron. Oh, boy, who's ready for some baked spinach and egg flabbit with some sauteed asparagus and

lemonade oilie? Lauren, I know you're Jones and for it. Well, he actually did make this for me before we went to New York, and it was actually really, really good. Again, he thinks he's a chef because of Blue Apron. So there's that. Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country, you guys. Its mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone, even Michael, who's not a chef.

So, Blue Apron has established partnerships with 150 local farms, fisheries, and ranchers across the United States, which is amazing because the seafood is sourced sustainably, and the beef, chicken, and pork come from responsibly raised animals. And we are bonding. You know, I'm in there, I'm cooking up, I don't care what Lauren says, I basically am a chef. What qualifies a chef? Do you have to get like a degree somewhere? Or you just got to cook up some beef, terriaki stir fry with some sugar, snap peas and lime rice, and then you're there because I'm there. All right, so now you guys can see what I have to deal with. But actually, it is amazing because it's pre-portioned.

Everything's all measured out. So all he has to do is basically just put everything in the pan and he pretends like he cooks the whole meal. Also, all their ingredients are fresh, high-quality ingredients, which make a huge difference. difference. Very TSC. And it's really affordable for less than $10 per person per meal. Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portion ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals. It's just to save you all that time of messing around in the grocery store trying to figure out which items to get. Flexible, easy, with lots of variety. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blue apron.com slash him and her. You will love how

good it feels and taste to create incredible home-cooked meals with Blue Apron. You can be a chef too, just like Michael. That's blue apron.com slash him and her. So walk us through the day or the week that you decided it's, this is not going to work anymore. Like, walk us through the whole week. Like is there, is there, does that week, is that the week that's like the darkest time? You're like, holy shit, I got to do something about this or is it leading up to that week or how to, like, how do you come to the point? I guess the question we're asking is how do you get to the point we're like, okay, I got to fix this? the week before I got sober in Orange County, where I had never been, it was like a different world for me because I basically grew up in a bubble in San Diego, which also I had no idea about. I never seen the ghetto or, you know, homeless shelter for that matter. But the week before I got sober, I was sleeping on somebody's couch. I was using in random bathrooms.

Using what when you say you're using? heroin. I was using heroin or whatever I could get my hands on at that moment. So the Xanax addiction turned into heroin. Correct. Which is a point that I do want to talk about after this, but go on. Right. So that week, I had lost my car. My dad had shut my cell phone off. I was running around the streets of Claremont in downtown San Diego. And I had one friend still helping me. And it was out of goodness of his heart. He was trying to help me and show me the light, but I was, of course, manipulating him and using him. And, you know, I had all the wrong motives at the time. I was just completely off my rocker. So with that being said, I was sleeping on his couch and using whoever I

could for money. And it just wasn't working anymore. I didn't have my suitcase with me. I had left that at somebody else's house. And my friends said, said, you know what, my friend's mom, Cyrus Monsada, is somebody that we had lost in the past from a heroin overdose. His mother has a foundation for her son. Maybe she can help you. So he called her and we went over to her house. And what's the foundation called if people want to look into it?

It's called the Simo Foundation. That's what saved my life. Okay. So we went over to her house and she said, I have a rehab for you to go to. We will give you a full ride scholarship. We'll pay for the whole thing. get your belongings together and I was at that point where I was finally like

you know what okay I'm willing to go even though all the while I'm smoking heroin in her bathroom like I was so addicted I could not stop for anyone or anything so I continued to do it until I got there so you get there I want to say something really quick

is that even when my sister was this deep in the addiction you guys she still looked beautiful And I always say this because I'm going to say like you were kind of like a snake in the grass. Like everyone everyone was like nothing's wrong with her. She's beautiful. She looks great.

You didn't have like boils all over your face or like you looked like a totally normal beautiful girl. But go on. And the reason I looked like that is because all of my time was spent on the way that I looked and what I was wearing. And I had no goals, no job, no drive to do anything else. but get the next fixed. And when I was high, I would, you know, whiten my teeth and pluck my eyebrows and do everything because all I cared about was my looks. Okay.

So you're at Cyrus Moe Foundation House and they say what? How do they get you to rehab? So like, what's the intake process? You get there. You're like, holy shit, I'm in a rehab now. So my friend Hugo at the time drove me up to a place called Yellowstone in Costa Mesa, Orange County. and they scholarshiped me.

And when I got there, I immediately said, I'll never forget, I'm not staying in this house. This is disgusting. And the girl that ran the place goes, this is disgusting. Where have you been living for the past year, six months? And I thought about it. And I go, oh, dirty motels in downtown San Diego. It can't be much more worse. It can't be worse than that.

So my perspective and like I just totally did not see my predicament. at all. So I proceeded to stay there for about three and a half months. I stayed sober and I was really wanting it. That's the scary part is I really wanted to be sober. I was so happy that I saw my dad and my sister so happy and everybody was coming up and seeing me and I was starting over like almost like a baby. Like I was learning all these steps, you know, how to brush my teeth or how to take a shower every day or how to talk to somebody and none of these things I could do if I wasn't on drugs. I could barely get out of bed. So you have to completely relearn your steps. And it's like starting, it's like starting over. And I began to work with a sponsor.

And I started, as time went on there, I started to get very entitled and very antsy. And they didn't give me my cell phone when I wanted and things started. started to not go my way. So I figured, hmm, I don't really like it here. I kind of want to go somewhere else. And I began to break the rules. And even the little things like that in sobriety, when you start breaking rules and doing dishonest things behind people's backs, you get closer and closer to that next drink,

to that next drug. You have to live a very honest lifestyle so that you're not living in any guilt that's going to take you back out again. So did you go through withdrawals? when I was at Yellowstone, yes, I went through withdrawals. And what's that like? It was horrible. I mean, they had me on Suboxin there for the first couple of weeks.

Which is what if people don't know what that is? Suboxin is what people that are addicted to heroin take to come off the heroin, and you slowly detox yourself off the Suboxone. However, we are seeing a lot of people are actually getting addicted to the Suboxone now. That's crazy. You said earlier. that your drug of choice was Xanax. And a lot of people are on Xanax.

A lot of everyday functioning people are on Xanax. Personally, I don't like Xanax. I don't like the way it makes me feel, but there's people, a lot of people out there that are on it. How did Xanax turn into heroin? Because I feel like Xanax is one of those drugs that it's extremely easy to get addicted to and you start to take more and more and more and more

until maybe it's not enough. People don't think it's a big deal. Right. So how did that turn into that? So I really like the feeling of Xanax, actually. I loved it. It was one of my favorites because it just gave me not a care in the world. You know, everything was fine.

Everything was at peace. And that's another reason why I liked heroin. But the thing with heroin is it's so much more addictive. You need it like constantly. And with Xanax, it's scary because you do have to be careful with your brain chemistry and your genetic disposition. like we talked about earlier, whether or not your family has a history of alcoholism and stuff like that, because it is very addictive.

And it actually takes a depressed person or an anxiety-ridden person and makes them more depressed. So some people think they're taking these pills for their depression and they need them and they're prescribed and this and that, but they're actually not prescribed the right thing. It's like kicking the can down the road. Like the issue's still there that you think you're getting rid of it because you get a short-term feeling of relief. Exactly. But it doesn't really solve anything. Like, that's the problem is people say, okay, well, I have this, so I need to take this,

and they don't realize they're just getting deeper and deeper and deeper, and they're not really solving any issue. Right, exactly. They're masking it. So you're in rehab. It's three months later. Daddy and I and Julie and Miles and Mimi and Michael are so happy that you're getting sober. It was such a relief when you were in rehab for me.

That was like, you know, it was just so hard to see you go through everything. And you had to call us all and make amends. And I feel like everyone was really there for. you once you committed to rehab. But then you're in rehab. It's three months later. You're starting to break the rules. What happens from there? So one day we woke up, me and my friend from rehab, and we made a decision that we wanted to go get high that day. Why? How do you make that decision? Like, you just look at each other. Someone suggests it. Like, how does that, how do you go from being dead sober for three months? And then you just decide that you, you know, this isn't for you anymore.

And you're going to go get high. That's the thing about the addict is when you're not ready, you're not ready. And when you're not ready, it's scary because you have to go keep getting your experience. Keep getting beat down, beat down, beat down, keep relapsing until it gets so bad that you can't function anymore. So we made the decision to go and pick up heroin in Costa Mesa and I relapsed after three and a half months. I never thought the day would come. I mean, I thought that I was cured for good. I thought that the problem was, I washed my hands of it and it was time to move on, but I wasn't doing a consistent daily inventory. I wasn't, you know, keeping up with my honest lifestyle. So what happened from there? You do heroin and then what?

I relapsed and I, from there, I went to the homeless shelter, the Linhouse. And I've been sober since then ever since. And how does the Lynn, so like, how does that happen? What does the Lynn House do that's different than Yellowstone? You're just at that point like, okay, shit, I screwed up again. like I'm done with this. Like where's the, when is there the mental switch that says, okay, no more? Because you think, you know, you thought it was the first time and then it wasn't. And then you get to Lynn House and you say, okay, now this time. Yeah, I think I needed that last little, hurrah, that last little kick in the ass to really drive it home. Like, this is so bad. I have to take this so seriously. This is a life or death situation. I have to do a A, live and breathe it,

in and out. And I have to live an honest lifestyle if I'm going to stay sober. That's just the way. it is for me as an addict. Isn't relapsing is the most dangerous part, right? Because your tolerances go back down. You don't have it in your system and you go back and think you can still do what you used to do, right? Like that's where a lot of addicts run into trouble is they go and relapse and that's where a lot of death comes from because they go and they go, hey, I've had this out of my

system for, you know, 90 days and all of a sudden, boom, you hit something and it's too much. Right. They tried to do the same amount that they went into rehab doing. And so did you get sick when you did it again or was like I did that? But okay, I guess what I'm equating to is like, you know, you don't, you don't drink for a while and then you drink. You're like, man, that was a bad hangover. And you like, overdo it and you get a really bad hangover.

Like, okay, I'm fucking done with that hangover because you get sick for a long time. Is it like that? Do you like wake up, oh, my God, I'm really hungover or do you go on another bender? Yes, you feel terrible after. It's different for everyone. Some people go on a bender and tell it gets bad enough for them. For me, I woke up in a motel. I used one day after leaving Yellowstone.

I woke up in a motel. everyone had left me with the bill and no one was there for me everyone was gone i was in a weird area i didn't know costa mesa i was walking around the streets of costa mesa with black trash bags by myself no phone no money and i called the lyn house and i was and i was desperate to get in i was desperate to do anything i called my dad and i said i can't do this anymore i need help and my dad was done with me by then he said you know what you need to figure it out you need to find somebody to take you to the Linhouse up there. I think that's the best thing he ever did because he was constantly enabling you.

And I think that that like just everything like clicked. So you go to the Linhouse and from there you've been sober. Right. Which has been incredible. So walk us like into your new life. Like give people want to see how you've taken something that's been so uncomfortable and so painful and turned it in to a positive. So today, my life is completely different in the sense of what I think, the way that I feel,

my goals, my aspirations, my priorities. My son, of course, is my number one priority and living healthy. And that's why I love my sister's blog so much is because it's so focused on wellness and health. And, you know, I love to cook now. I love to go to AA meetings and help other people. and my drive has really changed. You sponsor a couple of girls that are going through what you went through? Yes.

Which has been really cool to watch you, I think as a sister, to watch you sponsor these girls and help them through what you've been through. It's been amazing. Yeah, it's been incredible. And you're a great mom. Tell everyone your baby's name. My baby's name is Daxton Gray. Dax for short. He's so cute and he's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.

I'm not the biggest baby person. but he's so cute. Speaking of the baby, he's also my godson, I'm the godfather. Let's talk about Johnny, the father of the son of my godson, the real father, not the godfather, and how you guys met. And then after that, I want to take a quick break and bring Johnny in here because he's got a hell of a story too. And I kind of want to see, you know, your guy's story is awesome because you've really taken a lot of struggle and you've turned it around and you have a beautiful family now.

in a beautiful sun. But how do, how do you, how through all this in the midst of all this? Because this is a short period of time, do you meet Johnny and end up with a son? So me and Johnny met when I got sober. I was 21 years old. I had just, like I said, began my time at the Linhouse. So about three months after staying at the Linhouse, I began to work at a telemarketing company for my first time in the quarter.

corporate world and Johnny was my boss. He's 20 years older than me and he drove me to work to and from every day, dropped me off at the Linhouse after work and there was just an undeniable connection and this sounds really cheesy, but we just fell in love really quickly and we proceeded to date for like another six months and things didn't end so well. We did break up. He'll say that I wasn't mature enough and I needed it to grow up. We brought that little squirt into our lives and we had to get rid of him. We wouldn't even mention him, but he wasn't long-lasting. Yeah, you had a couple different guys that you dated.

Yeah. And now you're back together with him. Right. You guys have been together for a long time. We've been together for about two years now. You guys have a super cute house, beautiful son. Thank you. Johnny has a great job.

And you're doing your oils, which has been life-changing for you. you just brought me the tangerine oil, which is my favorite to diffuse in the house. And you also brought me a thieves cleaner because you tell me that I need to clean my house with thieves and not my typical seventh generation. So I'm going to try it. I'm very excited. Oh, yeah, don't use seventh generation. No, I'm going to try thieves. I'm very excited. So tell us a little bit about the oils because I know that that's what you're doing now because I know my readership is extremely interested in essential oils. The reason I'm so passionate about oils is because, like I stated before, I'm really obsessed almost with health and wellness and living like a chemical-free, clean, clean lifestyle, especially for my baby.

So I even use the oils on my baby. What I do is I use a carrier oil, like an olive oil or a grape seed, and I mix the regular oil with it and put it on the bottom of his feet. What's your favorite to do that with? I like to do it with thieves because when he was little, he would get colds from time to time. and ever since I've been putting that thieves oil on the bottom of his feet, he has not been sick, not once, not even a stuff he knows nothing. So the reason why I love young living above all other oils is because they are chemical and toxic free and they're the purest therapeutic oils in the country.

So I've tried a lot of others and they're actually the only ones with their own farms. They're actually so pure that they have their own vitality line, which you can ingest. And it's the only company that you can do that with. peppermint. Pepperment's really good for when you're sick or you have stuffed lungs or stuffy nose. You just rub a little bit with a carrier oil on your chest. You breathe that in and I swear your sinus is clear up in two seconds. Also, I like to put peppermint on the tip of my tongue because I feel like it makes your breast smell really good.

Right. Okay, so where can everyone find you? Like if they want to check out your oils, where can they find your Instagram? If someone wants to reach out about addiction, where can everyone find you? So you can find me on my Instagram at Evil Arts Vintage, E-V-I-L-L-A-R-T-S vintage. Love it. Or my Snapchat is Evil Arts. My Facebook is Fay Everett's.

And the link for the Young Living Oils is in the Instagram bio. Check it out. And we'll have you on the blog to talk about oils, too. All right. Well, if that's not aspirational to how you can change your life around, I don't know what is. And with that, we are going to bring Johnny on, who has phased significant other, and he's going to tell his story and his experience about addiction. This week on All of the Above with Norman Lear, Deep Star Julia Louis Dreyfus sits down with Norman and Paul.

Well, you know, there wasn't a script when I was first talking HBO about it. There wasn't a concept. And my agent had said to me, listen, they're developing this thing at HBO about an unhappy vice president, an unhappy female vice president. And I thought to myself, well, I got to get in on this action because it's, gold and it's so amazing that nobody's done it before listen today on the podcast one app or subscribe at apple podcasts or on podcast one dot com you're listening to the skinny confidential him and her with lauren everts and michael bostic all right we're back from the break we're here with johnny cheek

i'm very excited to really get into this conversation because you know johnny you know you and i've had a lot of conversations privately kind of you know about your story and like we've, I think we've gotten to know each other pretty well over the last few years, you know. Sure. You gave me the honor of naming your, naming me a godfather to your son, which I'll be forever grateful for. So, you know, kind of introduce yourself. Tell us how you met Faye. Tell us how you came into her life. Let him know what's going on. Okay. So my name's John cheek. And I like to identify, since we're talking about recovery, I identify that I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for about five years now, but I had six years prior to that.

I'll just tell you, I'm not going to start from the beginning right now, just tell you where I met Faye since you asked that question. Faye came to work for me. I was running, I was a GM for a big call center in Irvine, and she came to work for me. And we just hooked up. Let's put it that way. We just get right into it.

Yeah, and it took, you know, maybe a week or two, but we got into it, went to Knottesbury Farm on a little outing for the company, and from there it's been history. So it's been a little very rocky with us, up and down, in and out. You know, we broke up for a while there, and then now we got back together, and it's been rocky this time too, but I'll tell you, we have come a long way. We're getting through some of the big stuff that, you know, are rooted issues that come from childhood and new parents and everything. I mean, I can begin to tell you, like, these are root problems that people carry around their whole life and they don't know how to, you know, deal with other people on a, you know, on a common sense level. Let me just put it in that way. But, you know, we've got over the big stuff pretty much. We're getting along.

really good now. And, you know, I finally, you know, it just came down to, you know, this is my boundary. This is your boundary. Okay. I'm not going to step over yours, which I never do. You need to stop stepping over mine, okay? So let's, that's kind of where it's one. Speaking of life, let's go way back now.

Because I want to hear, I think, you know, I've got bits and pieces with you. Sure. But I want to hear, I want to hear this, the full Johnny story. I mean, we don't need to go back to when you're in diapers and everything. But I want to hear kind of, you know, your life, your upbringing, you know, where you come from, how, you know, what you were doing, how drugs into your life and how it's affected your life and, you know, just kind of take us through your journey. Sure. So I remember the first time I got stoned. I was eight years old and I worked on boy crews with my father and he had, you know, kids on the crew that, you know, like to get little kid stoned.

and they got a stoned on some hash. And I remember feeling like just laughing and bumping into my brothers and just that feeling that you get. And, you know, and I remember how man, I wanted to produce that again, right? That wasn't really when where it started or anything like that. But you didn't know at the time what it was. I knew it was weed. Oh, yeah, I knew what it was. Oh, yeah.

I knew what everything was at that point because I lived in a party family. My family were partiers, but they were responsible. partiers. Okay. Like they, we went, they went to work every day. We grew up in La Haber Heights, which is a nice area. I mean, the rich kids up there, but we lived in a nice area. It went to the nice schools.

And, you know, as I was growing up, I was around, I was around a lot of kids that were from the ghettos. That's where we got most of our employees from, because we ran, he ran boy crews, okay? So what's a boy crew? Boy crew is kids going door to door,

selling newspapers and this is how they made money. So newspapers candy bars or just newspapers? Just newspapers before my dad. He had subscriptions with or he had deals with all kinds of big papers at the time. Back then it was legal. Now you can't even do that shit with kids. So that was my first, you know, that's how I got started. So I learned how to hustle.

I was going door to door knocking on people's doors, getting them to buy things that they didn't want, right? So that's where my real hustling started. And of course, going door to door in long, Monrovia, Dwardi, all the shitty cities you can think of, right? You're going to run into the junkies and the alcoholics and the, you know, scumb bags and the hookers and everything that you can possibly think of. You know, lower, you know, I was hanging around that, and that's the area that I like to hang out. You're in a tough area.

All the time. We'd go work these areas, and I'd be working in the worst cities, and I'd meet these people. You know, again, I grew up in La Harbor Heights. My parents broke up when I was very young, so I didn't have much. My mom was kind of the parent that was with us all the time. She's the softer one, even though they weren't neither one of them was soft. But my dad, you know, he didn't really know how to give us love and attention and stuff like that. He just knew that he needed to take care of the bills, right?

So he did what he was supposed to do. That's what I think. Okay. My mom took off when we were young for some other guy and just left us. And so that was my first issue with women, you know, abandonment from my mother, you know, the first person that I ever loved, right? So that's the beginning of the, you know, where I started having the root problems, right? That was one of them.

So, you know, from there, we jumped around to a few places. We definitely went from really good living to shithole living within a few months. It was like literally richest to rags, you know. So what I didn't mind that. It was just some of the places we ended up. Finally, my dad got us another place. And we, I started ditching school at that point. I started smoking weed more at that point.

I was like sixth grade, fifth, sixth grade. Smoking cigarettes, of course, all those things at that point. And from there, we moved to the Heights, back to the Heights again. And I was living in La Habra. And, you know, I started really getting it going then. You know, once we moved to the Heights again, my neighbor was one of the biggest, you know, party animals on the street. We hung out together.

So when I was about 13, I was 13, okay, I got my first felony offense. I got arrested for possession of Coke for sales, residential burglary, and possession of deadly weapons. One of 13. So let's slow down here then, because I want to hear the story. So that's a lot of charges. It's a very young age. What were you doing that got you busted?

Well, we were at the wrong, we did the burglary. I had the drugs on me, you know, stupid. I should have just kept selling the drugs, but I wanted to make more money. So we went to the guy's house or this guy's house that went to school with us. But you got into selling drugs prior to this. So like at what age does that happen? This was like the third time. I had sold weed and stuff prior to this long time before.

But this was when I got into the heavy drugs. I met a guy at the bowling alley that I used to go to in La Havra, and he was fronting me eight balls of speed. good speed and I would sell it, come up and meet him there every two weeks. I'd have a phone number for him. I didn't know anything about him. Meet there every three days or whatever when I ran out. You know, he would meet me there.

But that stopped happening after two times. So then I had to buy some Coke to try and turn that money into something else, right? And so I was selling at the... I had a park in the harbor called Labanita. I was selling, you know, my Coke and Speed and weed at the... at the at the lavenita park that's where the all the bad kids hung out and so are you selling this to like kids your age or you're selling to people older than you because you're young anybody anybody yeah but a lot of the kids were older than me but i was a year ahead in school you know so my last name was cheek i used to get picked on a lot people call me butt cheek i was short you know so i learned how to fight really young so um anyway so i was selling i would sell my drugs to them at that school and i mean at that at that park that's where everybody went you know the cops went there everybody knew all the cops knew all of our names you

You know, I was cheek the freak, you know, weird fucking, oh. Everybody had a weird nickname, right? And that happens to be one of the people I did the burglary with. So three of us did a burglary. We went to this other guy's name, Steve's house, and we had all the stuff with us. No car or nothing. We're doing a burglary with nothing, right? Well, you're stupid.

Could you even have a car at that age? No, but we could have figured something out other than just doing a burglary on the cuff, right? Going into somebody's house, burglaries are bad, right? You don't say. So we get caught, the cops go over and licked it. knocked on his door and um one by one i was hiding in the back i was one of the last ones that came out you know one by one we got called out they took us to jail and they arrested me for all those charges so what happens at 13 though because you're still a minor so yeah you go to you go to

juvenile hall i went to um orange county juvenile hall what is juvenile hall like uh juvenile hall is not that bad. And Orange County, it's not that bad. L.A. County's pretty bad. I've been all over the place. Been all over the place when it comes to juvenile facilities. This is my first time going to jail. So, you know, it wasn't really bad. We were dead carpet. When we first got there, they gave us a little cereal and stuff. You know, Orange County is a little nicer. I was 13. You know, the guys I was with were showing their buttholes. And they were like, oh, these guys are going to take you up on it. The cops were telling them that. Just joking stuff like that. But nothing like that happens. I had never seen it happen. Nobody gets raped in prison or jail anymore. It's just nonsense. That hasn't happened in a long time.

So anyway, juvenile hall is, you know, you have to go ahead and, you know, get up at certain times. You got to go to school. You know, you're locked in generally a single cell, depending on, you know, where you're at, usually a single cell. So the school's in the juvenile hall? Inside the juvenile hall, correct. Okay. I got out, I got off on that case. We went to court on that for about six months.

I got off on a technicality. And what would have happened if you didn't get off on that technicality? They were off for me 30 days, 90 days, whatever it was, but that would have been a strike. They weren't even strikes then. Nobody knew about it. But if I would have gotten convicted for that, something bad would have happened. I would have probably had some serious problems here in the last 10, 15 years because that would have been a strike. Okay, so let's fast forward.

So you're kind of in and out of the juvenile system until... You're an adult. Right. What's going on with school at this time? I went from, I went from Sonora. They kicked me out of Sonora. Went to La Habra. They kicked me out of there.

I actually didn't even go to any classes. I got on their, you know, their, you know, take-home studies. Did that. Then I went to the LeVista school, which is with all the dropouts. Went there for, you know, a couple times. And then after that, I was just running away from home. And. So, so.

During this time when you're selling drugs running around, I mean, you're a young kid, are you taking drugs at this time, too? Oh, yeah. What kinds of drugs are you taking at the stage? Well, I was saying at that point, when I got arrested at that point, I hadn't done heroin yet. Heroin, I did my first shot of heroin when I was 14. Wow, that is so young. Can you believe that? And the junkies that gave it to me were over the age.

I mean, they looked, one was 30, one was 25. I'm going to guess. How did you know how to do heroin at 14 years old? I was with older junkies. They needed $10. So I had $10 and I went with them to El Mani. They showed me where to get it. So I knew how to pick up now.

But the point is that these old junkies showed me how to get high on heroin, which is something I would never do, especially to a young kid at my age. I mean, they were so hard up for drugs. They were using you to get their drugs. Right. So you get the drugs and they literally show you how to do heroin at 14 years old. Yeah. Wow.

Imagine that. I mean, she. Imagine how fucked up that is. I've heard worse than that, but I would never do that. I can't even understand, you know, because I know what that drug does to you. I know where it takes you and how it controls you and we just never do it to anybody. So let's keep going down the path. So now at this point, do you think at this point you're an addict?

No. Okay. So this time you're still dabbling around at this point. Yeah. I haven't even, I'm close to an addict thoughts at all. I'm not thinking I'm an addict. I just want a party, right? It's all about the party.

So I'm drinking a lot. I'm running away from home a lot. Getting rested a lot. I've been, you know, I had a GTA, had a high speed pursuit at one point. You know, the cops chased me off the freeway with the helicopter, nine cops behind me. And how old were you when this happens? 14. Holy Christ.

Yeah. So, you know, from there, it just kept going south continually. I just kept getting busted for new stuff. I sold acid to a cop. I sold speed to a cop one time, directly two cops like an idiot. Just made some dumb decisions. Not the best drug dealer, are you? I'm a good drug dealer.

Maybe not. Probably not. I sometimes I am. You're a hustler. I'm a hustler. So anyway, so from there, after the, I got the, so I got, had two GTAs as a juvenile. I had the residential, you know, penny thefts, possessions, you know. countless different things that I got arrested for. And the last time I went to Juvenile Hall was in

LA County. It's called Los Padrinos. They have three main county facilities for juveniles, Los Padrinos, Central, and Silmar. Okay. So last time I went there, the judge told me if I was, if I got arrested again, they were going to send me to YA. Now, YA is what we call a gladiator school. That's the worst place to go. It's even worse than L.A. County jail. Okay. It's, It is the worst. Is it a youth place? For youth. Yeah.

You're up to 25 years of age. Okay. So they send you there, you know, for three years. So you could be 15 years old with a 25-year-old man? 13. Why is it so bad? No, they keep the 18-year-olds away from. Because in there, that's where you really fight, stab the racial things.

Everything that is, it's just really bad. If you show any weakness in a place like Y.A., you're definitely going to have to stand up, or they're just going to keep punking you because the cops, the cops, the cops are don't get involved very much. You almost have to be strategic, it seems like, when you go to a jail like that. Like you almost have to be like, you have to like, you can't, like you said, you can't show weakness. So what do you do when you go in there?

You just like... You don't do anything stupid, like go and punch somebody in the face or go stab somebody. That's, that's stupid. You're just basically showing how much of a lame you are when you do that. You know, once you've done some time, you know, you walk in there. As long as you, I like to do just the basic mandatory stuff. If it's Something that we have to do, stand up for whatever it is, a fight, somebody, you know, whatever it might be.

I mean, I can give you a million scenarios, but just basically being in the car, the white car, the wood pile, whatever you want to call it, doing the basic stuff that they want you to do is what I would do. I never raised my hand to go stab anybody or anything stupid like that, right? So we kind of glazed over because we're just so infatuated with the story, but you, so the judge tells you if you keep. If I get interested again, I'm going to YA. And then you did get arrested again. No. And you go to YA, thank God. Oh, you did not go to YA.

No. I did my track program. This is when I realized I turned myself in for that, by the way. I turned myself in. They gave me what's called a track two program at the time. They sent me up to a camp called Miruloma in Orange County, I mean in L.A. County. And I did about six months on that. Before I went to jail that time, I realized at that point, I was about 16 coming up on

17, I realized at that point that I was a heroin addict, that I had a problem with heroin, that when I do heroin, I can't, I just do other things. It takes me places I don't want to go. Plus, you get strung out on it. So at that point, I knew how to a heroin problem. I can go into many more stories, but I met a couple of guys that, I met a guy that was selling candies door to door. He had crews of candy kids. And I went to work for them. I was one of their top producers, just killed it. But the first guy I worked for it was a group. crack smoker. He's got like 35 years old, you know, so I'm picking up crack for him in Dwarty. Then I end up hooking up with his two buddies, his other two buddies from St. Louis. They just came from Vietnam. You know, this is not, it not just came from Vietnam. You know, they're ex-Vietnam vets. They're in their 40s. I'm 16. And I know where to get

heroin. So I started hooking these guys up with heroin, and that's when I got my first real habit, where I knew I had to have it every day. So I would get sick if I didn't have it. So when I went into juvenile hall that last time, I made a decision that I wasn't going to, I wasn't going to drink. Or excuse me, I wasn't going to do heroin anymore. I was just going to drink and do speed on the weekends. That's it. That was my wonderful plan. That was the plan to end all plans, huh?

Yeah, dude. Let me tell you, I've had a million plans like that. I can go really take you through some plans. Anyway, that plan I probably tried. That is a horrible plan. 30 times. I have to do drugs. I have to do something to change my plan.

perception because my reality sucks. At the time. Yeah, not anymore. But back then, I had to have something to change my perception. I was fucked up. So anyway... Can you get drugs and alcohol in jail when you're in juvenile hall? Yes, but it's not as... It's not like prison or jail. It's much different. People don't start shoving shit up their ass when they're in juvenile hall yet. They start doing that in jail and prison. But, you know, they do do it. People would teach them, but it's rare that

you run into anything. So what happens when you become an adult? Because at this point like you know you're, I don't want to say you're skating by but a lot of these things you're getting busted for, a lot of things you're getting in trouble for if you get in trouble from as an adult carry a much more significant penalty. Sure.

But these are all still going to be priors if I don't get them expunged, which I never did. Anyway, I was waiting on my juvenile probation to be done. I had stolen a moped. I owed restitution on it. I wouldn't pay the restitution because I'm like, just give me the time.

But restitution, they won't let you do the time on. I was like, so finally I paid the restitution. I got off juvenile probation finally when I was about 19. And I was waiting for the paperwork in the mail. That literally got that done paid off. Before I got the paperwork, I caught my first felony offense as an adult. So I was on the corner. Are you familiar with Orange County?

A little bit. By Beach Boulevard and Ball? Yeah. Okay, beach and ball is a really hookery drug area, a lot of, you know, anyway. So I'm on the corner. I need to sell another half gram. I'm hitting up everybody on that corner. Everybody, literally.

And some dude comes out of the, it used to be an auto parts place there, comes out. And I said, you need any speed? And he said, well, yeah, do you have it on you? And I go, well, yes, I do. And so he pushes me up in the corner, starts searching me. I'm like, I'm a fucking idiot. P pushes me up in the corner and starts, you know, searching me, finds the drugs on me, finds the drugs on the other guy I was with.

And when he turns around, he has one of those big brick, you know, walkie-talkies in his back pocket. At that moment, I realized how much of a freaking idiot I was. And he even looked like a cop. Needless to say, I got arrested for that. I fought that for a little while. I ended up doing like 30 days with, you know, basically like a joint suspended. formal probation type of deal.

I managed to run through that for about three years and almost a couple times almost get off, but I just couldn't get to the point where I wasn't doing dirties. So when I got out of juvenile hall that last time, you know, I kept to the fact that I wasn't going to do heroin anymore. So I didn't do heroin for a long time. When does that enter back into your life? How old are you? How many years after you decided that?

So I was about 18 is when I stopped when I got out of juvenile hall that last time. and I started doing it again when I was about 22. So you had like a good four-year period of- Or five years of not clean. Doing your plan? Doing your plan. Doing your plan. But it wasn't just on the weekend.

I was doing speed all the time. And I was getting arrested still. It didn't matter what drug I was doing. I was getting arrested. So then how does heroin enter your life when you're 22? Well, I'm living at this hotel called the Golden Forest in Orange County. It's right across the street from Disneyland. It's the Annabella. Have you seen that?

That used to be a shithole hotel called the Golden Forest. Anyway, I was in there with my buddy and he picked up some heroin and I was like, all right, let's do it. One shot, that's all it takes for me. Once I start doing it, I can't stop. From there, I really started, you know, pushing my criminal career in overdrive. I really started getting in trouble at that point. I had already been in trouble many times. So once I did that, I wasn't very long after that that I got my first prison number.

So anyway, I've been to all the different county jails, been all over the place, you know, many, many times, in and out. I don't know how many times I went to L.A. County Jail, probably 10 or 15. Orange County, probably 40 or 50, I'm going to say. And I'm not sure that's a low number, but I'm telling you I've been arrested so many times, right? But then you graduate to the big leagues. So all the county time, it's terrible doing county time. They took the tobacco in the county shortly, you know, in like 91 and you can get tobacco anymore. So, you know, basically you're just in there kicking heroin or whatever it is and it's terrible.

So the food isn't very good. So I get my first CDC number in 93. I had a J number, J.04862. I'll never forget my number. You know, I had that number for eight years. It's a pretty old number now. You know, it was 93 when I got the number. So I'd go in there and you'd see people with A numbers, B, numbers, C numbers.

These are really old people that have the numbers like that. A lot of, most of them are dead or whatever. Usually lifers with those kinds of numbers. At any rate, so I have a J number. I couldn't get rid of that. I held out of that for about eight years. They kept getting violated. And really, you're only supposed to have a CDC number for four years

if you don't get arrested for something new. But I always managed to figure out ways to make them extend things. So when you say violate it, is that mean you're doing time and you do something against them? For a violation. It's not an actual new crime. It's just a violation of the terms of parole. So like what's an example of a violation? Obscounding. That means you don't show up or you go and throw a dirty test on them or you don't follow whatever. Maybe you have a 5B you're not supposed to drink, whatever it is. Okay. So they have all these different things that each person has different stuff based on what they are.

How do you look at alcohol when you're in there? I'm talking about when you get out on parole. I know, but how are you're in jail? Like how do you, you said that people drink and do drugs. I get how drugs get in there, but how does alcohol get in there? They have Pruno. Okay, we make it ourselves. So we make it ourselves.

You take bread, yeast, sugar, and you take fruit, okay, and it'll ferment. Okay, make what's called a kicker. We make a kicker that gets it started. Once you put enough fruit and sugar and yeast in there, or, bread. You can use potatoes too. There's all kinds of different things you use. It cooks it. And once it gets cooking, it tastes like hell, but it's got some, there's some pretty potent stuff in there. But yeah, we would make bags of it like this. This is called Pruno. That's what it's called. And how do the guards not know that people are drunk? Well, they do sometimes. Sometimes they don't. You know, it just depends. Like, there's some stupid stuff that happens in the cells when you got a bunch of drunk people that are a bunch of anarchist in jail, right? So it happens, you know, nobody listens to authority anyway in there. But it doesn't always happen, you know. Okay, so eight years goes by like this, and you got bounced around to a lot of different places in those eight years.

All over the, all over the CDC. The first time I went to Northern California, I went to Old Folsom. I've been to Old Folsom, New Folsom. I've been to Chino seven times. I've been to Centinella, Calapatria. I've been to CMC twice. I've been to Adelano

I've been to one more the first one Tachapi twice so I've been to a lot of different prisons I was always waiting whenever they're getting ready to transpac

you take you to another prison you know that you don't know which one you're going to until you know until you turn in your stuff so I'm always looking to go to you know the good prison right This is what I look forward to you, right? This is what I look forward to.

I was glad to not be doing counting time anymore. I had, you know, moved up to the big leagues prison, right? All right. We're going to talk to Johnny about his transition into sobriety, but first I want to tell you guys all about Kopari. Okay, so if you guys follow along on Snapchat or Instagram, you know that I am absolutely in love with Kopari. I really can't find anything wrong with it.

The other day I went to create and cultivate. It was like this influencer's dinner. before we spoke and I was wearing Kopari body glow all over my chest with this super low-cut dress and I am telling you I have never been complimented more on my boobs. It's like this like kind of bronze shimmer but like not too bronzy and the tones aren't red. You guys know I hate red tones. They're kind of like cool tones but they're brown and shimmery and perfect and dewy. I love it. Definitely definitely in my travel bag. So also another one to try is Kopari. coconut melt. It's kind of the ultimate multitasker and it's definitely too in my bag while I'm

traveling because it can do everything. I rub it all over my body. I like it on my collarbones. It makes some pop. I also like it on my arms and sometimes I'll even use it as a makeup primer. Okay, but can we get back to the body glow because I'm just so obsessed with it. It's also amazing if you just get a spray tan because it gives you like the lightest shimmer in the world and it's just really, really light. So if you're going to try one, I would definitely recommend that one. That's the one that I put on my boobs. All right. Say hello to the best skin and hair of your life with Kopari.

Go to copari beauty.com slash skinny to get 20% off your order. That's Kopari, K-O-P-A-R-I-B beauty.com slash skinny for 20% off. Coparibeauts slash skinny. And make sure you check out the coconut body glow. You know, obviously you're clean and sober now. You're with Fay. You have a child. Like you're a hard, hard-ass worker.

You've had success now. how do you start after all of that how do you start transitioning into sobriety like how does that come about how do you get into a sober living facility how do you get out of prison how do you how does it happen so i maxed out my cdiccd number okay so that means i did the maximum amount of time you can possibly do on a on violation so what happened was um i abscounded every time you abscound it stops the clock and then i um they added a one year enhancement so every time i got out i'd report maybe one time so all that time just kept accruing. So by the time I got to the eight years, or the end of that eight years, when I, when they, I just maxed out the number with eight years on the same number. So when that happened, I was like, woo-hoo, the cuffs are off, green light. I'm going to do some crazy shit. Started selling a lot of drugs again, doing my thing for about a year.

Then right at the very end of that, two times in a row I got busted for stuff that was about to send me back. I was about to go back to prison again. a new CDC number. And one day, I was just like, I'm beat. And just something happened. Something broke inside me. I was like, I was on the street.

Prison didn't break me. I didn't mind prison. You know, county jail didn't break me. Juvenile didn't break me. It's on the street that broke me. When I hit, I hit this bottom on the inside, something that you can't explain to somebody unless they've actually gone through it. You know, I hit a bottom where I was just broke.

I couldn't I couldn't imagine living another day like that, you know, another day on the streets strung out, dealing with any of that stuff. So I checked into a detox. I still had the plan, by the way. I'm going to smoke. I'm going to drink and smoke. I'm going to drink and do speed on the weekends. That was my plan.

Going to my detox after I'm broke, right? I get there and the detox, you know, I don't have a really big heroin habit. So I get through that pretty quickly. I move into a place called the Rock Center. And at the Rock Center, a lot of convicts are there. It's really, you know, really easy for me to, you know, find things to do in there. Play Pinnacle. That's what I do in prison.

You know, lift weights. Go to their stupid classes. Pretend like I'm involved. You know, go to their meetings, check out chicks, you know, stuff like that. They fed good as far as I was concerned. And they had Roli's, you know, Roli tobacco. So I was happy there. And about 30 days into being there, I realized one morning I woke up and realized that if I drink, I will get strung out again.

If I drink, I'll start doing heroin again. And that was like an epiphany for me. It was like one of the worst days of my life because I had to swallow the pill of alcohol, no more party, no more weekend, no more nothing, right? I have to give everything up now. Everything that I thought was cool, everything that I lived for is now gone. So I've just lost everything, you know, my medicine. That's what it was. My medicine is what fixed me when I was feeling bad.

So from there I made a decision that I was going to, you know, start doing some stuff and, you know, work on, you know, staying silver. And I got loaded one more time at the Rock Center. After that, I remember the next day like it was yesterday. I was on the freeway driving down the freeway with this dude I knew from prison in his truck. And I had this junkie in the truck with me that had heroin on him. And I was thinking, I don't want to be sober. I don't want to be strung out. I'd rather be dead.

Those were the three thoughts that went through my head that day. And it talks about it in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It talks about the jumping off point, which I didn't even know what that meant until a few years later. But that's where I was at. At that point, I made a real decision. Until you make a decision, you can't go anywhere. Until you finally say, okay, I'm all in. You're not going to go anywhere.

It's just going to be miserable. You might be able to get a few months of sobriety, but you're not going to be able to do it until you actually step all the way in and make a decision that you're going to do whatever it takes. That's what I did. So from there, things started changing. I started meeting people that were teachers that were teaching me what I needed to know because I was completely out of touch with reality.

I was institutionalized, my principles and guidelines, morals where everything was screwed up. I had nothing. And I didn't even know how screwed up I was. Thank God. If I did, I would have been like, you know, because I had to completely change, I mean, literally everything. So it was a slow process. You know, I had to start stop reacting and start, you know, responding when people did things that I didn't like, you know, because that's what you when you're in prison, you react, you know. If somebody calls you a punk, you, you beat their ass, right? I can't do that anymore, right? I can't live like this, which is now I'm in the world. of the spirit, right? I'm trying to get away from. I know everybody thinks that, you know, it's not a

God program. It's a spiritual program. Okay. But we have to do a lot of work. And it doesn't look like a spiritual program from the outside, but that's really what it is. So I started changing the things about me that I knew were pushing people away from me, you know, acting like changing the way I cut my hair, dressing right, you know, all the different things that I had to change about myself so that I could become part of society as opposed to against it, I did. They started promoting me. My first promotion was a training supervisor. I did that for a while and I killed it. They started sending me all over the place to train everybody else, right? I was going to Colorado and all these different places to train. The next thing was they moved me up to a pod manager. So I had three different

offices that I managed that did own a referral for timeshare. The next thing they sent me to was the Philippines. I was living there for about four months. And when I got back from the Philippines, they gave me enough money to open my own office. So I had my own business at the end of that. So how long are you sober for this time? Five years. Five years. So, okay, so you're doing great. Everything's going well. What makes you all of a sudden after five years, that's such a long time, you relapse. how long did you relapse for until you decided that you wanted to get sober again and for good maybe two months before I wanted to get sober again so it was only two months so it wasn't a long

period of time that you were using between the two times let me finish let me finish two months is when I realized oh my god what did I do am I an idiot okay first thing I did is I had all this money okay I'm driving a red corvette I've got in my own office I've got about 30 or 40 employees I've got plenty of credit cards i've got everything i can possibly need right so um the first thing i do is buy a bunch of heroin no a bunch a bunch of heroin and a bunch of speed go home and do a big shot of it and then the next day i take it back to the guy and sell it back to him because i was so fucking so paranoid okay anyway so i went through this these little scenarios a few times before i was like oh my god here i am again you know i am strung out again you know what am i

going to do. So I went to one of those cushy rehabs up in Lake Arrowhead that really doesn't help you get sober. You're not going to get sober in Lake Arrowhead. You need to be somewhere where they're going to tell you the truth about yourself. You know, these cushy rehabs, the high end, the money rehab, insurance money, most people don't get sober there because they don't tell them the truth. They just want their money. If you go to a place that's low end, indigent place, they'll tell you the truth. That's what I had to do. Obviously, I was into June anyway when I got there. So I went to that rehab, found suboxin that helped me stay out there even longer.

And I was just constantly on the fence. One more shot, one more time, one more time, one more time. Every time it was one more time. And that one more time kept leading me on. So it took me four years to come back after that relapse. And I knew what to do when I got here. I just couldn't come back. I was physically unable to come back.

Nothing. My head would not let me stop. until God let me stop. I went to jail four times in a row. I got two DUIs and DUIs are more expensive than armed robberies. Let me tell you, okay? Two DUIs are ridiculous. So I got arrested four times in a row within, you know, in about a two to three

month period. And I just, I saw where I was going the last time. I was in the back of the cop car. I was out for five days. and I almost cried. I don't really cry when I get rested because, you know, you don't cry. Anyway, but I almost cried and I was like, dude, I just, at that point I said a little prayer. When I got, right before I got out that time, I said a prayer and I said, you know, God helped me to, you know, get sober again.

You know, I can't do this. I had Xanax bars in my pocket, like 50 of them. And I was this close to taking one. I got a hold of my old sponsor. He came and picked me out. and I was able to get one day. That was it. It's not about the thousand to drink.

It's about the first drink. It's not about the 10th pill. It's the first pill. Once you take the first one, it's all over. You can't just take one. That's the problem with us. So the insanity is the first drink. Okay.

So he came and got me and got me into a rehab. I was able to get on track from that. So, you know, I was doing everything necessary, doing all the stuff that we did the first time, making amends going to work paying all my debts you know doing my DUI classes going to my aAA meetings doing all the things that are necessary to keep me locked in and stay sober and sustained sober um you know so I did what I did the first time and I wasn't in as much fear as the first time I obviously I was in fear the first time everybody's like if you fall down you'll get

drunk you know you know a lightning bolt will have you know some heroin in it or something you No, it doesn't happen like that. Like, you've got to physically do that. It's just ridiculous. So anyway, the second time was much better and much easier. I had a lot of the training that I needed, you know, like how to balance a checkbook, how to go to work every day, all the real things that you need to know in life. I was able to move forward a lot faster, and that's why I'm in the position I am now.

So how many years have been sober now? This time I got five years. I just took five years on March 29th. And so that's a total of 11 years. They say when you stop, when you start doing it. drugs, that's when you stop growing up. And let me tell you, when people come into AA, they're like 13-year-olds. They're just completely out of touch with reality, selfish, self-centered, just, and it's

really hard to work with new people sometimes because I see where they're at. So how many people do you think you've worked with now and helped? Oh, thousands, thousands. I have employees. I have, there's just, you help people in a lot of different ways. You know, I don't. And does that help your sobriety? Oh, yeah.

When you see. Well, when I see them get loaded, it helps my sobriety. When I see them stay sober, it helps my sobriety. Everything in it helps my sobriety and keeps me locked into this. So how often are you working the program now? I still work all the time. I mean, it's constant. It's not something you quit doing.

So talk to me. But it's not the same way as the, you know, in the first, you know, year or whatever. You're not going to meetings every day. I go to meetings twice a week now. And I'm still working on my, you know, my character defects because we all have them, you know. And those are things that are... No, but I really like that you came here and shared this story because I think a lot of this show, we talk about a lot of aspirational stuff,

and there's a lot of people out there that are complaining when life gets tough and there's, you know, hard circumstances that everyone deals with. I think your story is, you know, much more significant than a lot of stories that we get. I don't want to say significant. That's not the right word. I want to say you've had a lot tougher struggles than most people have had. I mean, to start doing drugs at that young of an age, to be in the system for as long as you have, as you were and to be in the position you are now where you have a successful business,

thriving business, you have a beautiful son, you have, you know, fiancee, you've really turned it around and I just want people to like kind of hear this and understand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel as long as you're willing to look for it. Right. And I see people that are depressed, anxiety, all the other things that go on. I mean, that's life. Of course, people have troubles. You know, what I found to get through my anxiety, my depressions, my things like that that

happened, these come up. The stress causes it really bad. is I get up and do things. If I just keep my feet moving, my head will eventually catch up. Great advice. Clean stuff. Do whatever it takes. Great advice.

Right. And then I also just remind myself where I come from. It's easy for me to remind us. No matter what situation I'm in, whether I'm on the bus with, you know, nothing going to my new job. I don't even have a pack of cigarettes or whatever it is. A cell phone had a flip phone when I first got sober that somebody gave me, right? you know five years ago it didn't matter when I was on that bus I could look and see somebody you know that had much less than me you know and I could sit there on gratitude gratitude

and you know when I'm driving my car I look at the bus stop you know when um you know whatever it is you know if I'm fighting with I mean I can give you scenario after snare it's all about you how your attitude is so I always try to have a positive attitude you know I'm not always the most optimistic person. You know, I've definitely had the other shoe drop many, many times, but I try and stay as optimistic as possible. Pretty much, you know, that's how I, you know, live day to day. I wake up in the morning and pray for another day of sobriety and how can I be best benefit God, benefit him. And then at night, I thank him for another day, you know, and that's kind of my story. And then I go to a couple meetings a week. We work on the book and that's really what we're

working on is our inner issues, you know, our real root problems that we have. that a lot of people just pass over in A. Most people don't really get down to the causes and conditions of what their problem is. You know, where did it start? It started when they were usually young. You know, your mom left you. You got abandoned. Okay.

You know, your dad hit your mom. Whatever. You see these different things and they mold you into the person you become. Okay. And then you start using a lot of these different things that have happened to you as excuses to go get loaded, to go get drunk, stay drunk, deal with that. And you also have those problems and they're deep-rooted problems that need to be dealt with. You have to deal with your issues or you're not really going to have a content and useful life.

You know, this is what I want. Content and youthful life. Continued sobriety. I never want to get drunk again. I never want to live the life I lived. I've been in the bushes. I've been in, you know, the penthouses. I've been in everywhere you can imagine and everything sucks when you're on drugs, okay, except for the first five or ten minutes of it.

Then after that, it goes bad. If that's not a good message to end with, I don't know what it is. So if you could tell, if anybody listening out there struggling with something, what would you think, what would the first piece of advice you would give them me? Where can they go? What's the first step they can take? Who can they talk to? Who can they reach out to? What should they do?

Well, you can, A.A. is really easy to find in Southern California. I mean, anywhere in the U.S. now, I mean, AA is everywhere. So I don't know the hotline number or anything like that. but, you know, I'm sure you can find an AA club anywhere in Orange County, L.A. County, you know, or you can just look it up on Google. Let me tell you, it's on Google. If you want to save yourself, there is an answer.

There's a solution to your problems. You just have to be willing to do the work that's necessary to get there. And, you know, if you're beat up enough, you'll try it. You know, most of the thing that stops people from moving into this and doing what's necessary is fear. They're afraid that they have to give away their best friend, which is the drug's alcohol. They're afraid to try something new. People are afraid of change. And this is one of the things you have to do, though, if you want to get out of where you're at, you know. So one of the things that I heard when I first got sober, I was about nine months sober. I was going through

interferon treatment, which was for hepatitis C. And that puts you on this roller coaster of emotions that you could never understand. It was the most insane thing. I wanted to kill people. I could see red. I was just insane. And I went to a meeting and this old lady took a chip for 24 years or something like that. And she said, when I came into AA, she had this accent. I'm not going to try and do her accent, but it sound like she's like German or something. She said, when I came into AA, I thought the gates of heaven were going to open up and let me in, right? She said, no. She said, when I got to AA, the gates of hell opened up and let me out.

And for me, things like that are just, it seems like you hear these types of things when you need to hear them. And I was just like, that's where I'm at. You know, that is where I'm at right now. And, you know, so the main thing I say is don't panic. You know, when it comes to sobriety, it's one day at a time. You know, stay focused on the prize. The prize is the sobriety. Everything else is a bonus.

That's the way you look at it. If I lose everything, I'll still say. stay sober, you know. The way I look at it. Well, that was awesome. Thank you for sharing that. You know, I knew a little bit about the story, but, you know, I learned a lot more today. And I think you probably just provided a lot of benefit to a lot of people listening.

And we thank you for doing that. Yeah, thanks for coming on, John. You're incredible. I appreciate it. And we love, love, love, my nephew. Isn't he the cutest baby? That's another thing. God drops little gifts like that on you.

He's a big gift. Oh, my God. He's like the... Cutest. The best baby. I mean, he is just amazing. I'm so happy for you guys. There's nothing wrong with him.

All right, Johnny. So what are you doing now? Where can people find you? What are you working on? What's going on? So I own a three-fold company right now. We have three different things that we're doing. We're doing search engine optimization,

which is basically getting people ranked on Google. We also do, and there's a lot of different things that are involved in that. It's very cheap. We do it for small and medium businesses. We sell interactive websites that are linked to Facebook. It really helps with the social media and gives them a place to post and blog. We do SBA loans as well. So small business loans, legitimate government loans.

So, you know, they're good interest rates. You know, you're not getting a lot of the – there's a lot of bad loans out there. But we offer the bad ones, too. If they can't get approved for that, they can get one of the other loans, too. And then we are just starting a new project, which is IMS classified. We're using a – Craigslist software to get so people don't have to constantly post on their people that own furniture stores that type of thing hate posting because you have to post over and over again our software they

press the button in the morning they have a 24-7 employee that just keeps posting for them over and over again so if their furniture store is posting a hundred different things it'll change out the ads every you know so what's the main what's the main site or address where they can find you So the best one they can find me on is I, this is a long one, ilocal gurus.com. So it's I, L-O-C-A-L-C-A-L-U-S dot com. Cool. All right.

Well, I also wanted to mention before we go that if you guys are out there and you have any kind of addiction problem or you know someone with an addiction problem, You can go to www.a.a.org to seek help. And you can put in your location and your zip code or your country and you can seek help. That's the Alcohol Anonymous website. Thank you, Johnny, for being on. Thank you, Faye. Thank you guys for having me.

That was fun. We'll do it again soon. All right, you guys. So I wanted to dive deeper into my perspective of the whole situation. So I've added a blog post to the Skinny Confidential, which is all about addiction. and, you know, my personal experience. And if you guys like posts like this and podcasts like this, please, please let us know either on Twitter or Instagram

because we will definitely do more. We just want to make sure that we're showing all the facets of life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. With that, make sure you're subscribed to the skinny confidential him and her podcast on iTunes, rate and review us. Please, please, please, please. And we will see you next week. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential, him and her,

with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday. Stay at podcast1.com or subscribe now on the podcast one app. Here's an interesting fact for you. There are nearly one million new books published in the U.S. alone every year. One million. So if you like to read, how do you choose what you're going to read? Well, that's where fully booked by Kirkus Reviews comes in.

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