The Bossticks - #66: Standing Out & How To Use Social Media To Build Your Personal Brand and Business

Episode Date: June 13, 2017

The blogger behind "Angel Food Style" Sophie Elkus, joins Lauryn & Michael to highlight how Instagram affects bloggers, why you need 'thick skin' to make it in the blogging industry, the importance of approachability, staying true to your roots, and Sophie emphasizes that you can't be a good blogger unless you're willing to be an open book! To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Bombshell Body Guide and Meal plan.  tired of combating inflammation & bloat? Want to feel lighter and sexier? Check out lauryn's latest 7 day meal plan. In this simple & super effective plan you'll find: + tsc grocery list with every ingredient you need for the 7 days. + what the f*ck to do when you love carbs guide. + quick and delicious recipes: breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and dessert. You will also find 28 weeks worth of fat burning, muscle toning, 27 minute long, effective workouts you can do at home with no equipment. USE PROMO CODE: HIMANDHER at Checkout for 20% Off

Thanks for downloading this show from PC1. Before we get rolling, here's a word from one of the folks who helped bring you this podcast. This episode is brought to you by the skinny confidential meal plan. Okay, guys, so you need to go to members. combeconfidential.com if you are looking for a meal plan. Basically, for five months, I wrote down everything I ate, and they're super simple recipes for the girl that's always running late, aka me. and the recipes that I utilize in my real life, like cauliflower rice, we have some skinny cocktails,

I have skinny hacks, I even have some desserts in there. So definitely check out members. comfessional.com if you're looking for an anti-inflammatory meal plan. And we have a code for you guys. So use the code, him and her at checkout and you'll get 20% off for all podcast listeners. That's him and her at checkout for 20% off. The following program is a podcast.1.com presentation. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.

Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. Welcome back to the skinny confidential him and her podcast. You have me, Lauren Everts, and my lovely husband.

Michael Bondstick. Coming on. Live. We're live. We're here. We're back. We are in L.A. today.

We just met with Facebook and Instagram. And that was really interesting and cool. And we just talked about the importance of live video. Well, I think video in general. That's where everything's going. Video. We could up our video game. You know, this is an audio experience.

And when we started this, we originally, if you want to go back into the archives. No, don't do it. and maybe don't do it. But originally, we thought this was going to be like a video podcast. And we filmed ourselves in our living room doing this show on video and then also release the audio. So I think the first few episodes are on YouTube. And it was kind of weird because back then my sister Jordan, who worked for us at the time,

was like our chief question asker. It was super awkward. If you want to see like the most awkward thing in the world and me about to stab Michael, go to the first episode. But I kind of would recommend. It feels like it was forever ago. Yeah. It wasn't.

It wasn't hot and cute. Well, we couldn't decide if we wanted Jordan on camera or not. So at some episode, she's like halfway in, halfway out. Some she's off to the side. You can't see her at all. Some she's in. It was really weird. Admit that you were annoying.

No, I don't think I was so much annoying. I think that we didn't know how to podcast at the time. And we were just starting out. And it's funny, those are the shows, like either people really, really loved them or they hated them because the audio was definitely spotty. It's because we were trying to film them in our condo. And our condo has marble floors. And at the time, I just, I didn't think like, oh, we got to worry about echo and sound.

And so, yeah, it wasn't the best audio. We got beat up for that a little bit. But if you guys have been listening to this show for a while and didn't know, some of those old episodes are on YouTube. And they're funny to look back on because it was when we were first starting out. So I'm actually glad we documented it, but circling back around to video. So the point of the story is to evolve. It's really important to evolve.

If you take something and you launch it fast, make sure you're evolving and growing, which brings me again to the importance of live video. Nowadays, live is where it's at. If you're a blogger or a vlogger and you're not on Instagram live or Facebook live, get on board. Okay. So can we just talk about for one second this weekend? Because you had an experience at the spa.

I look five years younger. You do. You do. They scraped all the dead skin, the flaky deadness. off my face. The years and years of it. I never knew I could look so good. You better, you better be careful, man. You get me a couple more treatments and you might not, you know, you got to be careful. My stock is going up. You were glowing. I am glowing. Yeah, you're looking good. You used your serum and set screen. I might be too young for you now.

All right, Michael. Whatever you think. So we went to the spa and I tricked him and told him it was just a couple's massage. Obviously it wasn't. I always have to trick him. It was also a facial. He needed it so bad. And he came out. glowing like he was pregnant. You looked incredible. Your skin was like moist and perfect. I was jealous. 2017 second half is going to be a lot about me getting myself together. You know, I feel like I focus so much on our businesses and, you know, the relationship and stress, but I don't, I have never really, you know, I work out and I try to be consistent with that, but I've never really put a lot of thought into skincare or internal health. What I,

I eat. So I'm really trying to learn, you know, Nikki was on last week. She gave me some good tips. And I've been, Nikki, if you're listening, I've had a smoothie every day since then, Lauren, back me up. True. I have. Have you put chia seeds in it? I forget the chia seeds, but I've got the greens. So okay, I'll get the chia seeds. But so I'm doing that. Well, tell what kind of smoothie you're having for everyone out there that wants to trick their boyfriend and and having a smoothie. Man, this is simple. I put my protein powder, which is a goat way protein. It's on Amazon. If you search a tear away. It's a goat-based protein.

No, no, no. Go with moon juice, plant-based. But go on. I don't like plant-based. I think for a man, you need a little bit more. And then I have that, what's the collagen I have? Some Great Lakes? No, it's not called Great Lakes.

You have Great Lakes. I have vital proteins. Okay. So I use that. And then I use some greens. Organic? Yeah, organic greens. I have kale, spinach.

I put some lemon in there. Wait, wait, wait. You have? Yeah, yeah. Who got this for you? You. Okay. And then I have, what do I have?

I have the almond butter. You have raw almond butter? I have a banana in there. I put blueberries because I need a little bit of more. You don't have to have as much food as me in the morning. Are you utilizing the non-GMO protein powder that I got you? I don't know. I used some of that maca one time.

I think the pearl is a little too much and I don't know. Macca's like Viagra for men, you guys. I'm not joking. Like pour it in your man smoothie. I roofie Michael with it every day. Yeah, so I'm doing that. But so I have that in the morning. You know what's rude though?

Here's the rude thing. is that I have made you hundreds of green drinks every day and this morning I woke up and you had selfishly made yourself one and nothing for me. You wouldn't want this one. So you're just going to make yourself one every morning and this one might be too much for you.

Okay. What about the eggs and toast you made for yourself this morning without giving me some? Well, I was in a rush. All right. Well, I'm going to remember that noted. So, okay, back. Back to me, Lauren. And I'm glowing, okay? Okay, projectile. So, Lauren just gave a speech.

It wasn't a speech. It was like a talk. It was an open talk with an audience of women that were going to get married, are going to get married. And it was a Q&A and it was all about health and fitness. And they asked some great questions. We talked about a dessert. We talked about dessert a lot. And there's one thing that you have to get if you're in the market for dessert. It's these chocolate chips.

They're called Enjoy Life. And they're vegan and they're dairy-free. And they're so good melted on fruit. You can stuff them in raspberries. We all know that trick. You can eat them with a coconut macaroon like I did on Saturday night at 11 o'clock at night when we were watching billions. So good with Trader Joe's coconut macaroons.

But you need these chocolate chips. I'll leave the link on my blog. They are incredible. Yes. The reason I mentioned that talk you gave is I was there. And one of the questions at the end, a nice girl asked for her husband, it's a good wife. She said, what did I do? I don't know how I'm talking the third person.

She said, what did Michael do to prepare for the wedding in terms of facials and everything? And I was up into the, like recently, I don't really get facials. Lindsay, Lauren, so eyebrow, what do you call an eyebrow? Eyebrow specialist? She's a, eyebrow contour. She's a professional waxer at Browtique. But what's, is that the official title? Yeah.

I don't know these things. You don't, I feel like you don't want to call her a waxer because you're like nervous that that might make you come off Metro. Lindsay, if you hear this, I'm trying to be proper. I just don't know the, is she an estitian? She's an estitian and a professional. waxer. Okay, esthetician and professional waxer. She trimmed up my eyebrows. But other than that, thank God. And she did a simple gentleman's facial. So I'm into these gentlemen's facial because before a long time ago, Lauren took me to, what was this thing where they rip your face off and like

literally like burn it off your face? You rip your face off. I don't know what you're talking about. I think that's what scares most men away. Wait, which one? You took me a long time ago and they literally tore my face off. Where were we? Um, well, we're in San Diego. Morgan Run. A lot of people don't know what that is. Oh, you got, you got a glycolic peel. Yeah, whatever that, fuck that. That thing sucked. Basically, I think that's why men get scared off on doing things. Lauren took me, she had me, she didn't tell me I shouldn't shave my face right before,

so I shaved my face because I didn't know what I was doing. Whoops. And then this woman literally tore my face off at the blow torch. And I didn't go back to get facials for years. It was necessary. And so now I go, I just started going, because I've been three times now. And they just do no, moisturizing. So the point of the story is we get it.

You love facial. No, I'm saying, I think if you're a man and you're, you know, you're looking to clean yourself up, but go to a nice place, get a gentleman's facial, tell them you don't want your face burned off, tell them, you know, not to shave you down. Just do the basics. All right. I think that's good for girls, too. Tell their guys, just Michael said, gentleman's facial. Okay. Do you want to be glowing? You want to look five years younger.

Michael, we got it. You want to give your girl a run for her money. No. All right. Let's get into the him and her tip of the week. I'll let you go first. I got a good one this week. All right. So we were recently in Palm Desert with my buddies. And they were asking me all about how I get upgrades on flights and how I, you know, fly around and the travel programs I use and the credit cards I use and this and that. And I really, I dumped it down from because I think most people are overthinking it.

They think they have to do all these crazy things. And trust me, there's different credit cards and different things and different programs you can use, which maybe one day I'll do a post-up up. But I think the biggest tip I could give someone is if you find yourself flying a lot, or frequently, it's free to go and register for any of these airline programs and get a frequent flyer number. So, for example, if you fly Delta a lot, which Lauren and I do, a long time ago, I went and got a delta number and I registered for it. And since we fly so often that every time we fly, we get miles or points accumulated

for that program. And so it builds and builds and builds. So over the years, I've built myself up a really high status with Delta. And a lot of the times now in the Delta, you know, preferences, you can just go, and say pre-select to be upgraded whenever there's one available. So a lot of the times, I'll just book a regular coach ticket or, you know, Delta One ticket, which is like their comfort seat. And before the flight takes off, if there's business class available or first class available, a lot of times I just get a free upgrade. If not, they give you a lot of priority check in and a lot of,

you know, different perks. But, you know, you could do this for United. You could do for American, your divergent, Alaska, Southwest, all these airlines, you can go and register for free just to get a frequent flyer number. And so every time you go to fly that airline, just make sure you put in that number and they'll register your points. And then, you know, if you have an American Express or you have a Chase Visa card or whatever card, a lot of these cards allow you to transfer points to those programs. You just have to put in your frequent flower and a lot of time you can use those points to get miles. So that's a tip I might to dumb it down. The number one tip I have is to sign up for these frequent flyer programs with whichever airline you find yourself flying the most. And we will leave the link on

the blog for where he signs up for those. Well, I have a few, but, yeah, I mean, just anyone that you're using, that you're flying frequently. Fly Delta a lot, do the Delta if you do an American. We have a couple options. But don't just, what I'm saying is don't just go and get on a flight without putting in your frequent flyer number because you don't get any miles or any points towards that flight, which means that you're not racking anything up.

Good tip. I like it. I know, I knew I liked you when we first started dating and you put me on a flight to Arizona and you booked the flight for me and I was in C and all of a sudden I got an email that says you've been upgraded to A. Yeah. Do you know what? I have,

do you know I signed up for all the flight or the, the, the programs that I'm signed up for? You're signed up for. Okay. Why you've got me? Yeah, I stumbled there a little bit. I stumbled there, right? Yeah, you're signed up. I have all your numbers.

I keep them. I put them in. You didn't even know. No, I don't know. You got Dited. You got all of them. All right. Well, that's good to know that I married someone.

British Airways. British Airways is a good one if you want to go straight to London. Then you can get anywhere in there. My tip is to marry a guy that does this for you. No, I'm just kidding. My tip, the her tip of the week, is steps. Now, Michael does this efficiently because he has an Apple watch. How many steps did you take in New York? A lot, but I try to rack 10,000 a day. Okay. In New York, though, I felt like we took 14,000, which is incredible. So I think steps is a huge tool for weight loss. I think that it keeps you

healthy. It gets you outside. Just make sure you're wearing a hat. I think that everyone should utilize the pedometer app in their phone. So what it is is you go to the little health heart and you press that and you press nutrition. And then it goes to like this little pedometer that tracks all your steps. So today I've only taken 2,700 steps, which is horrid. So I'm going to make Michael go on a walk after this and I'm going to walk all around West Hollywood and you're going to come with me and I'm going to get those steps in. I think that if you want to be a little bit more efficient, you can get an Apple watch and that's really great at tracking steps. We work out out on the beach and I feel like every time after we're done with the workout, we can just look at the watch and

see exactly how many calories we burned and how many steps we take. And I promise you, if you shoot for a goal, say you shoot for 10,000 steps a day, it will shock you how little steps you take and then it will shock you how much you want to hit that goal of 10,000. So it kind of becomes like a competition. Like you could even do a thing with your boyfriend to see who took the most steps. Maybe you and I'll do that. So yeah. You're going to have to get up a little bit earlier, buddy.

That's, Michael wants me to wake up at 6 in the morning. It's just not my thing. I'm already stepping around all over the place. Right. You step-dy-step. So do steps, sign up for frequent airway miles. I don't know what it's called. Just frequent flyers.

frequent flyers. Yeah. I mean, I guess maybe that's not so clear. If you fly Delta a lot, go there, sign up for their program. If you fly American, do that one. What's the best airline, though? I don't know. I hate all of them.

I had a really bad experience with one of the airlines when we were in New York. And as we were boarding the plane, they came over the intercom and said, hello, everyone. There's been an incident. Now, if an airline says there's been an incident, that means someone puked all over the plane. Or shit themselves. Or shit themselves. Which I don't know which is worse.

Or both. Like, I don't know. So we get on the plane and Michael's laughing at me because we're sitting in different areas and he thinks that he's the one that is in the shitty throw-upy situation. Turns out, nope, it was me. I'm right by the bathroom and it was everywhere. So I got to smell puke the entire way back from New York. I was holding my breath for six hours. No joke.

It was horrific. Like, no one wants an incident. So make sure the airline you're flying doesn't have an incident. If you would have had more frequent flyer miles, you would have probably been moved or upgraded. All right. Well, maybe you can get on that. All right. With that, we're going to get into the show with Sophie Alcus, who is the blogger behind the blog, Angel Food Style.

And she has some really interesting tips about blogging and influencers and kind of this whole social media world. Right before that, we're going to take a quick break. Hi, guys. It's Becca Tobin. Kelty Knight and Jack Zanick. And we are the Lady Gang, as in the Lady Gang podcast. In the summer, we have something extra special, not just celebrity interviews, but we are helping you lady gang your life slash get your shit together. What do we have coming up, Kelty?

Hormone expert, nutrition expert, fitness expert, sex expert, dermatologists, people shooting up your faces with syringes telling us what it's all about. It's all the important things you need to lady gang your life. every Tuesday on Podcast One and Apple Podcasts. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Today we have my friend who is also a blogger and influencer. She knows how to take a mean Instagram and runs a kick-ass blog, Angel Food Style, that she's turned into a very successful business.

Welcome to the podcast, Sophie Elkis. Thank you. Thank you for being here. What an introduction. Welcome to the show. How many times has you done that, Kevin? Oh, this is embarrassing. I have to get some energy into it.

So we have Sophie here, and I'm really excited to have her on the podcast because I feel like there's so many bloggers that listen to the skinny confidential, him and her. And I think you can provide a lot of value, especially with Instagram. Let's get into it. Yeah. So tell us about yourself, like introduce yourself. Tell us about where you started. I want to hear everything. So I'm Sophie.

I have been blogging for four years now, probably over four years at this point. four and a half. I started when I was in school, I was a junior at USC, and I was a journalism major when I first was at USC, and then I ended up switching to PR. I would have taken something in fashion, but I don't think the school offers any classes in fashion. Maybe it's changed. But I was a PR major and a marketing minor. I had always loved fashion magazines. I thought I'd write for a magazine one day or be an editor. And I started my site. I was a junior, yeah, in between my junior and senior year.

And how it happened was I went to this conference that Lucky Magazine had put on. I don't even know if Lucky Magazine is even around anymore. It doesn't exist anymore. I just wrote a book about it. Yeah, so Lucky put on this conference, which is probably like the, what's the name of the one you just went to? A Create and Cultivate. The Great and Cultivate.

And the conference was for bloggers and brands to get together. other and I wasn't blocking at that point. I was just attending and a friend of mine had told me about it. And I went to the conference and I remember seeing bloggers there that I'd recognize and I had always thought that if you were a blogger, I mean, I didn't even know what a blogger was really. I'd seen their sites, but I didn't know that they're what kind of like prerequisites were involved in coming from, you know, like a prep school and going to USC. Like you assume everything has a prerequisite. If you want to do something, you have to be prepared. So I was like, oh, these girls must have degrees. They must have already worked in fashion for six years. Maybe they

came from PR. I thought that they had this wealth of knowledge and experience. And I remember meeting some of them and talking to them and they'd be like, oh, I'm 22 and I started this out of my bedroom. Or I'm, you know, I just, I left school to do this or some of them didn't even go to school. And I remember coming home that night and thinking, wow, this is not what I imagined it to be. These girls have really built something for themselves out of nothing. And I thought, you know, I love to write. I have experience in this. I've done so many internships. And I love fashion. It comes easily to me. My friends would always ask me, you know, about makeup and what to buy and what to get. And it's something that I felt like I was the person people would come to for that kind of advice.

And so I just started it. And I was sort of, I was quiet about it at the beginning. I didn't tell many people. But I did a ton of research. I found a web designer. I did it all over the summer. And then I just started posting. It was really as simple as that.

But it definitely wasn't on a whim. Like I did a ton of research and I really got into what I was doing. And I was business-minded about it from the start. You and I started similar. Like we wanted to, I feel like you and I are similar like that, though we want to know exactly what's happening. Exactly what's happening. Yeah. Yeah.

So I want to hear about when Instagram comes into the picture. Like Instagram, all of a sudden, you're blogging, and then it starts to be this really important driving force behind the blogging business. What do you do? I remember the first time I ever heard of Instagram. I was at a concert and one of my girlfriends I was with. was showing me how to edit her photos. And she was like, there's this thing called Instagram. It has these filters.

You can, because I asked her, I was like, how did you get your photo to look like that? And she's like, oh, it's this app. I downloaded it. And I was like, oh, that's cool. And I downloaded it. And I just started, I didn't even, I didn't, I don't think I knew it was like a public gallery. I thought it was just an editing app. And I started just a personal account.

It's not the one I have now. It was a different name. And I just started using it for the filters. And then once I started with a blog, it was, you know, when you just scroll back to people's, like, very first Instagram's, if you can even get that. that far back and it's embarrassing. It's like the oversaturated or it's the like the pick stitch with people put three photos

in one and you can tell it's like the early days. Horrific. Yeah. I just started doing that and this was right when I had started the site. And so I just started throwing up photos of my outfit posts. I remember posting my logo once. But I don't remember being a big deal. It's not like it is today if someone started a blog and they started posting on Instagram.

It was just sort of fun and it was like an experiment. It wasn't a big deal. Like now everything people post on Instagram, it's like a huge deal. It's stressful in a way. And it wasn't like that. It was just evolving. It was just starting at that time. So how did you take, because I know that a big part of your business is on Instagram, how did you parlay that from just having fun with filters to what it is now? I think, well, it took about six months after I started blogging for the site to really gain some traction.

I think six months after my first post was when I started getting emails from brands. I was probably my, I guess I was a freshman, or no, I was a senior in my, fall semester. And explain that when you say emails from brands for people that are just starting out blogging. Like explain what that means. So six months into it, I'd get emails from brands who had found the site and they'd say, hey, like, do you want to do a trade? I'll send you products. Do you want to review my product? It was not what I'm doing today, but it was the first evidence that brands were interested in what I was doing. That was a big driving force for me because I had, this had been kind of like an experiment in a way. And then to see interest from brands that early,

I was still in school. That was really cool. I think that and then getting interest and readership from people who weren't in my city. I remember that being a huge deal. I'd get emails from girls who had seen the site, and they were at college campuses, not in L.A. Or I'd get some from girls in Europe. And that was really when I was like, oh, this is people are seeing this, not just where I am. And I'm getting interest from brands.

And that was when I sort of decided to buckle down and really focus on it. I was still in school, obviously. So to back up a little bit, So you started this pretty early and you were still in school. A lot of people are doing that now, but a lot of people get very nervous because, you know, when you and Lauren first started, the space was not nearly as saturated as it is now. Like there's a lot of competition now, which I think is the good things. I think competition makes people better.

But when you first started, did you know this was going to be a career right when you were still in school? Or did you have to get a job or get an internship? Or you were like, you knew right away that this was going to be your thing. I kind of had a gut feeling that I wanted to make it my thing. I mean, I don't tend to start things unless I really am going to put myself into it, especially as a student. Like, you're busy. You're taking six classes at a time.

It's not, you know, unless it's a hobby, you really don't have time to do that. But I really wanted to make it into a business. I think that was from the beginning. I thought, you know, why I could graduate, get a job in fashion, work my way up that ladder. But that just sounded exhausting. And not exhausting in the way that I don't want to put the work in. I don't mean that at all. But I had so many friends who wanted to work in fashion.

That was like the dream for them. And they'd get a job as an assistant. And then they'd get a job as the next assistant. And then they'd get a job as, you know. They'd have to climb up the ladder. But the feedback that I'd gotten from them is that it wasn't enjoyable. It was rarely enjoyable. They weren't making much money.

They were stressed out all the time working in PR. It's around the clock, as I'm sure a lot of girls who do it know. And some love it. And, you know, I work around the clock sometimes. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But I think in my head I was kind of like, I'd love to try to pursue this on my own and be good at it and see if I can kind of work the system from another angle to try to get, you know what I mean? Yeah, and to see if I could kind of enter it from another side and see if that would work. And I totally knew this might not work.

It wasn't like a done deal, obviously, or anything. You're not making any money when you start. And it's not like any other job when you have a guaranteed paycheck. So knowing what you know now, if you were starting like today, and there's a lot of girls. roles that are starting today and there's a lot of women that listen to this show that are going to start today. But it's harder now, right? It's so much harder. To have a brand reach out in six months, that's quick. If you were starting today, what advice would you give yourself? What advice would I give myself today? Knowing that the revenue might not come as quick. I think if I would have started

today, I'd probably stike myself out a little bit because I'd know how saturated it is. And if you want to, if you want to excel at it, I don't think, I think you have to be true to yourself and really try to find your own voice and you have to block all that out. Because now there are so, I mean, everyone in their dog and grandma has a blog now. It's such a normal thing. Even if you're not trying to pursue it as a career, most people, a lot of people have it as a hobby. So I think if I were to try to do it now, I would, I would just stop looking at what everyone else is doing and try to replicate what's already out there.

Because you're not, I don't, that's the one thing when I get all these, when I get emails from girls who want advice starting blog. The one thing I always say first is find what you like to talk about. about what comes easily and talk about that. Don't try to be a fitness, fashion, lifestyle, health, travel, everything, blogger. Oh, my God. That's such a good tip. It's a good tip.

Because I think, you know, there are a few people who genuinely love all those categories and have enough advice to give on every single category. If you are one of those people, that's amazing. They'd love to read your site. But most people might not be that way. Most people might love food and fitness, but they're not that into fashion, or they might love fashion, but they might not have much to say about travel. So just stick to what you're good at and what comes easily. And then you have a niche.

Like someone would say, oh, yeah, I've seen that girl's site. She has the cool smoothie recipes. Or I've seen that girl's site. She has awesome style. And you're branding yourself in a way that's authentic and you're not trying to be everything. Because there are too many people out there at this point to enter the field as an everything blogger. Well, then you psych yourself out, right? because you're constantly trying to emulate other people.

And when you do that, it's really hard to come up with original content. Totally. I mean, I've been doing this for four years now, and I still struggle with that because I admire a lot of bloggers, and I relate to people in different ways. And I'll come to people's sites and Instagram or channels or whatever for different reasons. I might love someone's style advice, and I might love someone's sense of humor or some aspect of their personality. And I think it's human nature to sort of emulate qualities that you like about people. People do that with their friends.

people do there with their family. I think that's totally normal. But if you can separate yourself from other people and focus on what you're good at, I think that's going to propel those girls faster. I totally agree with you. And I think that everyone keeps saying that the blogger market's saturated. And yes, it's saturated. But I don't want that to deter anyone from getting into the space.

Because I do think if you're 100%, like if that's your trajectory to be a blogger and you know it, you shouldn't be scared to hop in because it's saturated. I agree. I will say, and I feel like you can, we'll agree with me on this, is even though it's saturated, don't you feel like it's also a small space? Like, you know, everyone knows everyone. Like, we all know each other and like you can spot when someone's not being authentic to their content and ripping off other people's content. Don't you feel like that? Totally. And I think it's also fair to say that the people who have really succeeded at this and who have made a name for themselves have done such a good job at kind of having the blinders on and only. only being themselves because they wouldn't have made it this far otherwise. 100%. I think I want to refine that a little bit. It's like, you know, websites are saturated, Instagram saturated, all these things. I don't think the platforms are saturated as much as the people that are constantly

trying to emulate other people. That's where the saturation comes into place. You see a formula that's working for somebody. And so a bunch of people jump in and say, okay, I can use that same formula to be successful. It's the same thing in like the real estate market. When everybody's making money, somebody's going to lose money. You got to know that in any market. It's marketing, whatever it is.

So I think where people can stand out as if they come in, like you said, hey, I have a niche, I have something that's extremely unique. Then it's very easy to stand out because you become a unique voice or a unique brand in a space where other people are looking towards, like only one direction that is the formula that's been working. So I don't necessarily think Instagram is saturated or blogging is saturated. I think that the formulas people are using are saturated. Yeah, that makes sense. I also think as a blogger, and you and I have talked about this before, you just really have to not give a shit what anyone else thinks. It's something that I think I've developed a thicker skin in the last four years than I have had through any other experience in my life. Yes, totally. Does it like nothing phase you? Nothing fazes me. I wouldn't say nothing fazes me. I've heard it all. I've heard it all.

I've heard it all. I wouldn't say nothing phases me, but I will say, I mean, it's interesting. Like when you push out content to people, you're just hitting a button. Like, you're not, if I'm, you know, if I have however many 100,000 people watching my stuff, It's not like I'm in a room facing all of them. So when I push out content, I don't know. I just, I don't think of it that way. I mean, you're detached.

Exactly. You kind of detach because it's in front of, it's in back. What's the expression? You're in back of a screen. So I think, I don't know, I remember when I first started, people would say, well, doesn't bother you knowing that you're talking to this many people. Doesn't it bother you or make you shy or embarrassed? And I don't know.

I'd say not really because I don't, I just don't think about it. I just, you're on your computer, you're typing. You get lost in what in your word. I'm sure this happens to you too. like I and I love to write some some bloggers don't write at all. Writing for me is totally therapeutic. I love it. It takes me a little bit to settle in and get into it.

But then you forget what you're doing. You forget where you are. I'm not thinking about the people that I'm, I mean, I'm obviously thinking about my audience, but I'm not thinking about the number of people or what were their opinions of me. I'm just sort of in my own world at that point, writing my post. You have to just detach. Totally.

When I push out my Instagram photos or whatnot, I'm not thinking about the number of people seeing them or maybe what individual people are going to think. I just, you just do it. You just get into a flow and you just do it. I think that's my biggest tip after like years and years of vlogging is you just can't give a shit what anyone thinks. Yeah.

I mean, it's hard. Especially as a blogger, I was just talking to someone else about this. If you're, I think if you're like an actress or if you're someone in a public, I don't know, persona or role, you're not yourself. So you can kind of be a crazy person or act like someone else easily because it's not you. But as a blogger, your whole business is you. your whole business is kind of selling in a way you and your brand.

So it is kind of tricky because, you know, you have to put yourself out there and know that if someone doesn't like it, like they don't like you. They don't like your style or your words. It's not a character you're playing or it's not someone else. I think where people run into trouble is they don't understand that it's okay to not have everybody like you. Like I know people that listen to this show. Like, I am not for everybody.

I know that 100%. Like there's probably a, there's a demographic of people that have listened. this have been like, yeah, right on this guy. 100%. Yeah. But that's okay because the people that really do, they really do. And I think it's the same thing with blogs. Like, when you have your readership or you have your viewership on Instagram,

the people that really watch you and are into what you're doing, they're engaged. They're really, really into it. And the people that don't, that's okay. Where the people I have a problem with are the ones that anonymously want to write in and complain. Not because I have a problem with the complaints, but because it's so unproductive for their life. Like, it doesn't hurt. the person that they're viewing, it only hurts themselves.

So I think as long as you're fundamentally okay, like, yeah, I'm not for everybody. But that it also enables you to then go really be yourself and capture the people that you are for. That's what I was saying with dinner. I mean, we know, like, we're not for everyone. I'm okay with not everyone liking me. Yeah, and just think, just the fact that you've accepted that and been able to put that out of your head, you're going to do so much better and be that much more successful because you've put yourself on the line. Like, imagine if you had said, I want to be for everyone.

everyone. I'm going to try to cater to everyone. You wouldn't be unique. You wouldn't be the way you are unless people would be into it. It makes it difficult to create content because you're constantly thinking, wait a minute, these people might not like what I do. And so then you're hesitant. And that's what I think the biggest issue is. It's like you're holding back. You're hesitant. You're not going to put yourself out there in the way that you would if you were okay with the people, maybe not liking you. I think it makes better content. What's been your biggest hurdle with logging? Like what's one thing where you can sit back and you can say, okay, this has been really, really hard and difficult. If I had to say, I mean, there have been a lot of hurdles. It's been trial and error since day one.

I remember having so many, like, breakdown moments when I first started just because it was starting to take off and I got nervous and I said, okay, I don't have, this was probably maybe my spring semester. I was a senior. I'd been doing it for almost a year. I didn't have management at that point. I was sort of trying to figure out the brand stuff on my own. I was still in school. I had gone to Fashion Week and been traveling a little bit. I missed a ton of classes. I was coming back trying to take my final exams.

I was stressed out. And I was excited about it, but I was like, there's no guidebook on how to do this. And I have built something clearly that's working. I don't have anyone helping me. I don't have like a manager at this point. I don't have PR. I don't have anything in the way of help. So I don't know.

I mean, it's intimidating because you want to do the best you can. you're like, okay, I've given, I have this chance now. This is like my one sink or swim moment. And there's no, you know, no one's, you can't read about blogging the past decade of examples of there's just enough, it's not happen. So I think trying to make my own path and sort of forge my own way without without the research element or without being able to look up like what to do in a certain scenario, that's, that was tough. I think that what you said about having tough skin, like that's something that I think I'm still working on for sure. But I'm sort of tuning out other people and trusting that I have good content and good ideas and good things to share with people. And also being an open book is something that I've struggled with.

I think because my blog was primarily fashion when I first started, I wasn't writing personal posts. I wasn't writing about my family or my boyfriend or what I was doing. It was just about the clothing. And that wasn't because I was hiding behind anything. It was just a fashion blog when I started. That's what it was. And I found that as I grew, people are interested in what your life is. They don't want to look at a girl in a photo and not know anything about her.

So trying to figure out how to go from that formula to all of a sudden being more open. And with like Snapchat and Instagram stories now with everything moving towards video, I almost feel like you can't be a blogger right now and excel unless you're willing to be an open book. Oh, that's such a good quote. Yeah, it's true. And I think people, at this point, it's like, it was the first blogger, Atlantic Pacific, I don't think, I think is who I'm thinking of. And she doesn't have, or at least the last time I saw her site, she doesn't have writing. It was just photos.

But she became the style icon because she has amazing style. She can mix and match prints so well. I think she started working for J. Crew after that. She's like a big figure in the blogging world, but she wasn't writing in her blog. And that was normal when it first started because it was more about the fashion blogger. And now it's not about that anymore. It's about who the girl is as a person. What is she doing?

Is she funny? Is she warm and engaging? And it's almost like you have to produce your own TV show in a way about your life. It's like the girls that you look to and really want to see their content more are the ones that are open and engaging. And you feel like you're kind of a fly on the wall in their daily life. And that's not what it was when it started. So trying to adapt to that has definitely been a challenge and figure out, what do I want to share? Can I be this open? And then trusting yourself. Like a lot of my friends say,

oh, you're so much funnier in real life than you would notice on your blog or your writing. And then I was up there thinking, okay, well, how can I change my content to include these sides of my personality? And how can I transition from just being a fashion blogger to being this all in one kind of personality? I just read a book called How to Murder Your Life. It's so good. And the writer was just incredible, the way she wrote. I felt like we're friends. And so I went and googled interviews about, you know, her writing process. And she says, if you want to really connect with the person reading your book or blog in this case, write exactly how you talk. And it's really is that fucking simple. Like, it's so simple, right, as you talk. And it sounds simple. It's sometimes a lot harder, though, when you get behind the

screen. You're pretty good at that. Well, that's, well, I, I don't know if I'm pretty good at I appreciate the compliment, but... So is Sophie. Both of you guys are really good at it. I think that I just don't... I'm not a writer like you guys are. Right? Like, you guys are writing. You have writing backgrounds. You have to give you a couple edits here and there. I read a lot, so I think I have some good writing because I read so much.

So I have some context on how to, like, properly structure things. But maybe the reason it's worked in my benefit is because I write the way I talk, not because I'm so great, but because that's the only way I really know how to write. I don't know how to create a story or a narrative outside of that. So I've kind of got lucky because since things have shifted in that direction, it's worked out for me. But I can only imagine if I started when you guys started, and I don't have a blog, but if I started blogging when you guys did and I was writing more editorial to make that shift, I can understand why it's difficult. And I have actually not sat down with somebody like this and heard a blogger explained it that way. So I'm interested in the process.

But what I'm interested in is what, like, what shift are you scared to make? Like, like, at that extent. Yeah. Like, in the way you write. Well, I wouldn't say it's in the way I write because I think from day one I've been a pretty open, I don't know, like eloquent writer. Writing is my first love. Like, that's something that I'm confident in. I think it's more the social channels and Instagram.

And for so long, I was blogging about fashion and style and travel. And then this wave started to happen with Snapchat and with the video content. and I had never done, or I still don't have a YouTube channel. I've thought about starting it so many times, I probably should at this point. But I just was never into the idea of sitting in my bedroom doing like a makeup hall or whatnot. People want to see that. I would want to see your makeup.

I know, I know. You know I'm going to be annoying at a text due in a month and be like, where's your YouTube channel? I think I've sort of dabbled in that now with Snapchat and Instagram stories. And it's fun. And I do notice I get many more questions about products and daily life when I do that. than I would otherwise. But I think, to answer your question, I think the shift is more, it's probably, it's just a mental block. It's probably, it's like anything else in life when you're, you've been doing something one way for so long and it seems to work. And then you realize, like,

the times are changing and people are interested in all these other things. And if you want to really keep up and excel, you have to, you have to adapt. So I think, I think I'm still working on that and making my site and channels more of a daily life, a daily life thing and not just scheduled posts, you know, that look pretty when I want to post them. Because people, I think, are sick of that. It's like we've talked about so many times. People want to see what you're really doing. 100%.

You know why you guys are lucky, though, speaking from the other side, whether it's like a company or a brand, when we build those things out, we don't have an audience to gauge, right? So we just have to- What are you talking about? Like if we build a brand, if me and my team build a brand or we help somebody build a brand, we don't have an audience to gauge to say, like, hey, do you like this or not? You guys are lucky. And new bloggers, too. sometimes I help new bloggers and like they're they're trying to get what you guys have.

They're trying to get the foot holding. I hate the word lucky. I fucking. Let me finish the, let me finish the word lucky because you don't know where I'm going with this. You're lucky in the sense that you have an audience. So if you pivot and move right now, your audience will let you know, hey, we like that or hey, we really don't.

And that's why I'm saying lucky. And you are lucky to have that. Like you don't, don't forget. Like if you guys have anybody following you or listening, like it's, yes, there's work behind it. I'm grateful. Yes. But it's also lucky.

Yes, grateful is a good word too. Like you guys are lucky to. have people that really are interested in what you're doing and following. And so, to circle back, if you make a shift or you write about something different or you change something or you put yourself on video, your audience will say, hey, we really like that and want more or maybe go another direction. And so you can really gauge it. You can gauge it. And even if they wouldn't verbalize it, you'd see in the numbers or you'd see in the views if people are interested in. That's a good point. And I think something that is worth bringing up that has really helped me is that even if I wasn't

even if I from the beginning was doing the style or the fashion content, I wasn't doing daily life videos or this is me, no makeup in my kitchen sort of stuff from day one. I think my tone of voice and my attitude has always been open and been friendly. So I'd like to think. This is another thing that we've talked about in the past. Bloggers, it's like as the world of blogging has progressed, the people at the top have sort of become celebrities and they're not even really bloggers anymore like the blonde salad is not really I wouldn't think of her as a blogger you know she is in Louis Vuitton ads and she's on TV and

traveling and his very famous boyfriend and it's sort of evolved from just her being a blogger as those like few top people have become celebrities the middle kind of tier have moved up to take their place it's like it kind of goes in a you know what I'm saying like as a letter because you can't stay the same forever and if you've if you excelled at this for so long you kind of become bigger than that, or you have a clothing line, or you go on TV. So you kind of change what you're doing. And I think as those people have become, quote-unquote, celebrities, their attitude has sort of shifted. And maybe if they were really open and engaging and kind of like girl next door from the beginning now, all of a sudden, they're a bigger-than-life celebrity. And I think that

that's tricky because you lose those people who were with you from the beginning because they felt like they know you. I always say like it's so important to focus on the people you have, not the people you don't have. Like I'm like, that's why I'm so in contact with my audience all the time. And I think that for me, I'm seeing a lot of bloggers that have gotten to that celebrity status and they stop blogging and they make the shift like you're saying. For me, I, and I think you're the same way. I'll always be a blogger. Like I always will write. Yeah. And you always want to connect with people. Well, this is sort of a two-part thing. And I think the other part of it is that it's an attitude.

Your attitude is important in how you relate to your audience. And something that I really can't stand in some, you know, and I don't know these people personally. But there's something about the attitude of bloggers. I think no matter how big you get, you can't forget that you're a blogger. Like you started, you're not a celebrity. You're not an actress. You started this from day one to share your life with people. and I think you have an obligation to be friendly and to be open.

And I personally don't like, you know, watching some blogger's stories or Snapchat's or whatever. And it's sort of like a mean girl attitude. Or even if it might not be mean, but the vibe is sort of like, this is my cool life. Like, you know, you can just tell that they're not. They're not including people. You know, they're not inclusive. And that's fine. Like, you know, they might, they'll still have big numbers.

They'll still do big deals. but I think the girls that are going to be really successful and have the most engaged and loyal audience are the ones who have that approachability and who keep it, no matter how big they get, they're the ones who will respond back to comments, so they're the ones who will just not forget that they started this to share. You know what I mean? Not forget that I started in my godparents. Totally. Like free rent bartending. You have to remember that. You have to go back to that.

I always bring that up for anyone that's like just starting. Like, you know, you lose people. I think, and it's easy to get wrapped up in it. And if you're going to, you know, Paris Fashion Week or whatever, and you're sharing your life and in a way that you're like, oh, this is what I'm doing, this is my designer that I'm wearing. And now we're going to this party and this party. You have to forget, you get so wrapped up in it. They're probably thinking, this is normal. And you remember, it's not normal.

Most people aren't going to experience this. But I think the ones who are going to be, or will excel can be in those situations and show this cool life they're having. while still being accessible. And bringing everyone along. And bringing everyone along. I think someone who does this really, really well is Mariana. I always watch her story. And she's such a sweet girl.

But in her stories, you can just tell that she's engaging with her. She'll be like, here's my mom. And here's, we're on vacation. And this is what I'm doing. And she sounds grateful. Like, she sounds excited about what she's doing, but grateful. I love her. She's worked so hard to use.

Yeah, she has. I think you have to be grateful and connect with your audience and thank them. and say, what do you guys want to hear? I'm grateful for having this, this platform. A lot of people do giveaways. I love doing giveaways. I think it's so important if you're a blogger, too, to give it away. You know what I mean?

I should do another giveaway. I have a lot of stuff. Do a giveaway. I feel like when you have so much, we have so much stuff sent to us, like, give it away. We're not going to use every single beauty product. You know what I mean? I don't know what people do with some of the stuff that you get sent. I don't either.

I mean, like, where do you put it? So I'm always trying to give back to the audience. I think if you're a new blogger, you're trying to build a following too, like giving back is really, really, really important. I want to talk about management because you've mentioned that a couple times. There's a lot of bloggers out there that don't really talk about that side. And I think there's bloggers listening right now that are curious about how to go about getting management and what that entails. That's a good question. I think, well, I mean, for me, it was a natural progression.

I had already been blogging for about a year before I had any sort of management. And I think it wasn't like I just started blogging. And then I was like, okay, I'm a blogger. Now I need management. Like, where do I go? Who do I find? It didn't work that way. It was a natural progression of I started doing this.

It was kind of working. It was gaining views and traction. And then I was approached by some different people for management. I think if you, I mean, I applaud people who start blogging and who are business-minded about it and who think, okay, now I'm a blogger, the next step is to be represented. But I think, you know, if you're successful and you're getting bigger and gaining traction,

people are going to want to represent you. And if you put all your energy into doing everything you can do to, quote unquote, be a blogger, and that includes management, I think that's going to work against you. I will say it's helpful. For me, I'm not good at, you know, like being the bad guy. It's helpful for me to have, just someone else talking to brands on my behalf, negotiating.

I'm not great at numbers. So it's helpful to have people doing contracts and that sort of thing. And what if a brand approaches you through management that you don't feel like it's a fit? Well, then it's great to have someone else replying on your behalf. That's how I feel too. It's like a broker almost. For a lot of people that don't have management to start. You know what?

I am not going to name names, but I have no girl. It's very successful girls. who don't have management, and it's by choice, and they've been approached by every management company in the book, and they prefer to not have management. And I think it's just personal. Like, the person I'm thinking of right now who is in that situation is such a strong girl, and she's awesome at, you know,

being her own boss and her own cheerleader. And also, you get to keep 100% of what you're making if you don't have management. So I wouldn't say that you have to follow, you know, a rule book. I like that. You don't have to have a role book. management. So if you're out there thinking that you have to have management and you think that you could quite possibly do it yourself, maybe keep that in mind. Yeah, or keep doing it for the time being until the right. Don't be in a situation that's not the right situation just for the

sake of having management. That's not the way to do it. I think if you're hesitant, just to be your own boss for as long as possible until it's the right situation. I completely agree. The beauty of the internet now is you can find out, I mean, a simple tip for people that don't have management is just to create a simple PR email at whatever your domain is. I was just about to say that. Have a fake email address and say, hey, do your own outreach. So-and-so I would love to do it.

What are your rates? And then just go back and forth with another email address. That's a great tip. So just do PR angel food style. Totally. Well, people make an excuse and they hold themselves back and say, I don't have management so I can't make money. It's like, it's 2017.

You can reach out to everybody and reach everybody. You just got to put in the work. Yeah. And I also will say, and I hear a lot of bloggers when we talk about management or what's working for them and not working. A lot of them say that the majority of work they get is from brands coming to them anyway. They'll say maybe 60% of my incoming offers are from brands who email me and want to work with me. So it's not like having a manager is necessarily going to get you hundreds of new jobs.

A lot of management companies, I think, have good rosters of contacts, but it's not guaranteed. And also you can get washed up with a bunch of... Yeah, and you run the risk, exactly. you run the risk of being thrown into the bucket with dozens of other people. You just have to gauge what's right for you. I think it's like anything else. Like you get a manager when you need management, right? Like in the beginning when you're starting out, you don't, you know, and it's just a one-man show

or whatever, you don't need management right away. I didn't take on management for three years. I just did everything myself. And I was like, I'm the type of person like I don't need it right now. Like I have the patience, I think, and you're like this to like to really just go slow and be strategic and not want everything at once. Yeah. Well, I think you also have the quality of you're good at just doing what works for you and you're not going to do something just because everyone else is doing it.

So that's the tip. That's the tip, you guys, if you're listening, do what works for you. There's not a timeline of one you need management. No. I think there's a lot of pressure now for people who want to start blogging and to be good at it to follow a formula like we were saying where they think, okay, I'm graduated or I'm going to leave my job. I'm going to be a blogger. Like I'm going to be a, this is it, like the money board. I'm going to be a blogger. So what do I have to do to be a blogger? I have to have a nice website. I have to have good photography. They're kind of just going on the checklist of all these tips that have been giving to them. But, you know, if you're smart and you know what you're

doing and you have good content to share, people are going to come to you regardless. They're going to go to your website. They're going to click contact. They're going to find your email address. They will find you. So, yeah, to people listening, I wouldn't, I wouldn't stress about that. I would just focus on growing your site and doing your best before. I totally agree. Totally agree. So if you can leave the audience with, especially the bloggers, with one tip that they can go utilize themselves in the blogging industry. And maybe that's an Instagram tip or a Snapchat tip or just an overall blog tip.

What would that be? If I had to choose one. You're talking to Sophie five years ago. You mean what's advice I would have given to myself? five years ago. I would say, I mean, this is so cliche, but I would say, don't, you know, when you're sitting at your computer and you're writing a post or you're worried about how your feed looks or trying to get content out,

separate yourself from that and really just think about what you're good at, what you know is good advice or a good tip or a good, you know, whatever fashion style or whatnot. And just focus on that. worry about who's reading it. Don't worry about, you know, if you have management or not or what your situation is. Just focus on growing authentically. And I think if you can do that, the rest of, I mean, it's so cliche to sense, but the rest does fall into place. It does. Focus on your own shit. Focus on, yeah. And if you're worried about what other people are going to think, if you're worried about whether you're legit enough or not, because, you know, how long it's been, or if you

have a manager, or if your feed looks a certain way, you're only holding yourself back. distracting. Yeah, and I think looking back on all of the issues I've had are times when I've sort of been down about it or wondered if I'm doing the right thing. In all those instances, if I had followed that advice and not worried about it, I think I would have come out of those situations faster and just kept going. Great tip. Thank you so much for being on your incredible. You guys follow her blog, Angel Food Style, and tell us where we can find you on all your social platforms. All my social platforms are just my name, Sophie Elkis. Will you spell it for them? S-O-P-H-I-E-E-L-K-U-S.

On our blogs, www. www.w-W-W-Foodstile. Dot com. All right. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Thank you guys for tuning in and listening this week. Lauren and I really, really appreciate your ears and your attention.

If you like the show, please tune in next week, tell a friend, share it. I think the podcast app now has a little button where you can click view full description and then just share either a text or email or whatever. or don't just tune back in. We really like having you. And if you feel so inclined, go to iTunes and leave us a review. Any review we'll do.

Okay, we will be back next week. Thanks for listening to the skinny confidential, him and her, with Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic. Download new episodes every Tuesday at podcast.1.com or subscribe now on the Podcast 1 app. Hey, everyone, it's Caitlin Bristow.

You can listen to my show Off the Vime with Caitlin Bristow every Tuesday on Podcast One. Hear me take on taboo topics and unfiltered advice. I'll also be dishing with some amazing celebrities. Oh, and did I mention there'll be wine? So grab a glass and join me every Tuesday on Podcast1.com, the new Podcast One app, or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.