The Bossticks - Celebrity Doula Andrey Lemon On Birth Plans, Hospital Protocols, Eating Your Placenta, & How To Have A Beautiful Birth

Episode Date: November 27, 2020

#310: On this episode we are joined by Andrey Lemon. Andrey is a doula and herbalist who helps expectant mothers with birth plans and delivery. On today's show we discuss birth plans, hospital protocols, water births, placenta options, and how to have a beautiful birth.  To connect with Andrey Lemon click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Canopy Canopy is a completely reimagined humidifier that elevates your home for the ultimate in skincare and wellness benefits. Skincare experts and dermatologists have long touted the benefits of increased indoor humidity for healthy, glowing skin. Canopy's features and design make it the cleanest and easiest humidifier out there go to www.getcanopy.co to save $25 on your Canopy purchase today when you opt in to a replacement filter subscription. Use code SKINNY10 at checkout to save an additional 10% off your Canopy purchase. This episode is brought to you by MANSCAPED Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, MANSCAPED™ all the way. Give the best present of all this holiday season...MANSCAPED™- the company that offers precision-engineered tools for your man's family jewels. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SKINNY at www.manscaped.com  This episode is brought to you by BLUBlox  Blue light damages our eyes and leads to digital eye strain. Symptoms of digital eye strain are blurred vision, headaches and dry watery eyes. For some this could even cause heightened anxiety, depression, and low energy. Enter BLUBlox. BLUblox was created to change this with high quality lenses for daytime, nighttime and for color therapy exactly in line with the suggested peer reviewed academic literature. Go to www.blublox.com/skinny and enter promo code skinny for 15% off our order and free shipping! Produced By Dear Media 

The following podcast is a dear media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

We're building trust because the birth is fragile. It could be, it's vulnerable and you'll spend more time with your doula. than you will with your doctor or the nurses. And so when you're feeling vulnerable, it's important to feel safe. So that's why I spend all of the time with my clients, right? And so I end up being a very trusted person in the room. Happy Thanksgiving. I hope everyone is hung over from too much turkey, too much gravy, too much cranberry sauce,

and too much red wine because if you're like us, family times are hard. Family times are hard, Michael. You know what I mean? The hardest. artist. Last year I could not get buzzed because I was pregnant, but this year I had some fun. I did a double for us last year, Lauren. I did a double for us this year too. I think last year I literally went into your guest bedroom and fell asleep because I was just too overwhelmed and too much turkey. Anyways, this episode is a fire episode. It's especially amazing if you want to know more

about a doula. We invited my doula, Andre Lemon, on the podcast. She has one of the most soothing voices and she is so knowledgeable when it comes to birth. She truly knows everything. She helped me set up my entire birth plan. She brought a cooler into the hospital when I gave birth and took my placenta out of the hospital and cooked it. Did she cook it? I don't know if she cooked it. I don't know what she did.

I don't know what you're doing. She made it into pills and then I put it in your martini. Oh, God. What was that turkey you were eating last night? You never know. Anyway, so this episode goes all over the place. We talk about benefits of eating your placenta. We talk about the importance of having a birth plan. We talk about the energy that should be in the room. We talk about home birth, water birth, hospital birth. We go through all the things. I personally think this episode is for someone who's thinking about having a baby, but also someone who's pregnant, but also maybe wants another baby. It's a really, really informative episode, especially. Someone like me before I gave birth was not incredibly maternal. And to have a her sort of leading the way was amazing. She's smart. She's savvy. She's a wife. She's a mother. She's a doula. She's an herbalist. Let's welcome Andre Lemon to the skinny confidential him and her show.

This is the skinny confidential him and her. I have one of my favorite people here who completely helped me through our birth, my birth, Michael. Us. Our dula. Well, I thought I told her that I wasn't going to tell anyone about her because I just wanted to have a very sacred, personal, private experience. But I had to because I think that you can help a lot of people. And we just talked about this earlier, a lot of people that are fearful. So just to give everyone some context in a background of who you are and how you got into this, can you give us a little backstory? Sure. So I am Andre and I have been practicing as a professional doula for 14 years now.

I think I've always been a doula when I was very young. I wanted to be an OBGYN because I didn't know any better. I thought that that's all that was. And when I started school and I was the subject matter, I just kept thinking to myself, but this isn't birth. Like, this isn't birth. And so I said, well, maybe this isn't what I'm supposed to do. So I did a lot of other things.

I was a DJ. I was a professional makeup artist in the entertainment industry. And then I just felt like I wasn't doing my spirit's work. And I was discussing that with my therapist. This is after September 11th. And I said, you know, I'm too old now. I wanted to be an OBGYN. I'm 32 years old.

It's too late for me to go. She said, I think you'd make a great doula. I would hire you. And I said, well, what's a doula? And when she told me, she explained to me what a doula was. The Gates of Heaven just said, like it just made perfect. Yeah, it made perfect sense to me.

And at the time, I was in school for massage therapy. And they were hosting a doula training one weekend. and I signed up and it's just a perfect fit. Well, you have this, like right when you walked in and I saw you, and it's been a while since we've seen you because the pandemic and all this crazy stuff, but like I immediately felt calmer. You have that energy. And like I'm a pretty hyper guy.

And as soon as when I'm around you, it's like, I think some people just have that kind of natural energy to like calm a room or to calm a space. And you have that for some reason. So I don't know if that, how much that factors into everything, but not everybody has that. Yeah, she definitely calmed you down because you were fucking. Jack in the box during my birth, which we'll get into. What is a doula for people that don't know? How would you describe it?

A dole is someone that helps support and guide the birth and postpartum process. So there are birth duels, there are postpartum doulas, and there's even death doulas. And what doulas do is we really help to unpack fear in a lot of situations in a lot of cases, because there seems to be a lot of fear surrounding birth when there doesn't need to be. We also help to, for me, I feel like my goal is really to help my clients have, to remind them that what they're having is a human experience and not a medical one. Even if you do need medical interventions, it's still a human experience. And so I like to help my clients get informed, to get to learn how to de-stress, to learn how to breathe, to learn what the protocols are in the hospital. I'm really big on helping my clients to be involved in their health care in a lot of ways to ask good questions when you, when you, when you, when you,

you have labs drawn, ask, ask about the results. What are these labs saying? And then also to, as a birth dula, I find it's important for me to also help support my clients in the postpartum to give them an idea of what to expect in that process, because the truth is that the birth is the easy part, the heart. You are telling me, I didn't, I was like, oh, I don't need the, I don't need my dula afterwards. It's just, next time I think I would do something different. Yes. The postpartum is the, well, is the hardest part for me. Absolutely. There's a lot. And I think that people who get night nannies, it's great, but there's a difference between a night nanny and a postpartum doula. A night nurse will come in to help you with the baby. A dula comes in to help you and to help

you take care of your baby and to help to build your confidence and to normalize the experience. I don't think that's talked about enough the postpartum. I wasn't prepared for that. I think that's a really interesting concept of having a doula postpartum too. I think a lot of people think it just ends at birth. You helped me do something that I think if you're pregnant is really beneficial, and that was a birth plan. Yeah. And I was able to take, like you said, take control of my own circumstances. If someone maybe doesn't have access to a dula and they want to make a birth plan, what are some things that you would point out? I think I would suggest that you, first of all, know what's your ideal experience? What are you, what type of experience do you want to have during

your birth process? But with that in mind, to keep in mind that you go in with an idea of the type of birth you want to have, but being open to whatever needs to happen for safe mom and safe baby, right? So I would say talking to people and finding out what are the protocols in the hospitals because hospitals have protocols and procedures that they like to follow. I think it's important for people to know that the hospitals, protocols, and procedures are not the law. That's just what they want to do for themselves. And so you are always in charge of your experience. And so finding out what those procedures are, finding out, like having an idea of do you want an IV? Do you want a sailing lock? What are the protocols after the baby is born? Most people have no idea. They're

going to offer them ebrithromycin, vitamin K, hepatitis B, newborn screening, to know what those are so that you're not making a decision right in that moment without being able to do any research. Right. I was so happy to be able to have that birth plan. And we handed it to the hospital right when we walked in and that was very beneficial. When I first met you, I don't know if you remember this, because you have a lot of sessions with you. I know that it's different with everyone, but you have a lot of sessions with you before you give birth. I told you, I'm having a C-section.

Didn't even ask you any questions. I just told you I was having a C-section. Can you walk us through how you deal with clients that say that? Not that there's anything wrong with this. There's really not. No. Because you have to do what feels safe for you. But I felt like, well, we have time to unpack that.

Where is this coming from? And do you know what that recovery is like with the cesarean? That's pretty tough. I didn't know shit. And so, I mean, I just go in once again, like I used to tell you, Lauren, like, if you like it, I love it, whatever your decision is. But let's unpack this. Like, where is this coming from? because that's usually coming from a place of fear, right?

So then let's unpack this fear. And I like to remind people that fear is a liar. Like our fear is always exaggerated, an exaggeration of what the truth is. So talking to you about like, this is how it can look, right? Sharing videos with you and things like that. Once again, to help normalize the experience. And when you deal with someone, what are the different ways that you can give birth? And what do you sort of talk them through?

Like if they say they want to do vaginal, say they want to do C-section, how do you talk each one through that process? So for the birth, I like to talk about the physiological process, like what happens with your hormones, what do you feel like most people don't know that you'll probably get uncontrollable shakes? Like you're going to feel like there's a bowling ball in your rectum. You would be like just helping to prepare them for that physical experience, but also informing them that there is going to be a very big emotional experience. experience under most situation in the birth process. And the truth is that birth is 80% emotional. The physical part happens on its own and sometimes that part needs a little support. And so for people who are in who, and I've had quite a few people stay in the beginning that they wanted to have a cesarean. By the time, it's because I spend so much time with them. By the time they're

giving birth, they've changed their mind because we've unpacked everything. But for the ones who are going in for a cesare, maybe it's scheduled for health reasons that I walk them through. This what happens. We go into the hospital. You'll see this person. This is what they're going to do. Then this is going to happen. And I walk through the steps of the epidural and the procedure. There are hospitals that at doulas are allowed in the cesarean. I like to go in with them if it feels right for the families. Oftentimes because once the baby is born, there are many hospitals that ascend the dad at the room with the baby and the mother's left on that table all by herself, which could be very scary. So I like to stay with her and help to ground her.

and talk to her about what's going on. You had a baby all natural. And it was a long birth at home. It wasn't that. It was 15 hours. Oh, fuck. Come on. 15 hours.

That is so gnarly. What was your mindset like? So I originally, like I was 16 years old when I said I was going to give birth at home. And I don't even, I had never saw that. Like, I didn't grow up in a community where people were doing that. You were just drawn to it? I just knew that it made sense. Right?

For some reason, it just made sense to me. And so I actually, maybe 10 years before I got pregnant, I was talking to a neurologist. And she said, oh, you should never do that. It is so unsafe. I've seen horrible things happen during birth. And I didn't take in consider. And she implanted a little fear. So then I said, okay, well, I'll do it at a birth center instead because I felt like it was a happy medium.

But what I didn't take in consideration is that this neurologist who had seen many homebirth was doing births on Native American land. So where there's poverty and drugs and alcohol. So yes, there are going to be a lot of probably traumatic birth experiences. And so I ended up doing it at birth center because I was more afraid of an epidural than I'm like, oh, the risk is that I can be paralyzed. I'm good. I'm just going to forego that if I can. And so I decided to have it at a birth center. And it was amazing. It was, I told you it was featured on TLC's baby story. No, you have to tell us that. I don't think you told me that. Yeah, it was aired on TLC's Baby Story.

And the reason that I wanted to do that show is because I had been fascinated by birth forever. So I've been watching birth film since I was like 10 years old. What do you think the reason is for that? Like, how are you, it's just interesting to me to help people get interested in things. Jingle balls, jingle balls, manscaped all the way. Taylor, do you know about manscape? You need it so bad. I know about it now, but I wish I knew about it for the last couple of years.

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There were 15 people at my birth, which you can't do at a hospital. And so, like, my friends were feeding me watermelon and ice cream and praying over me and braiding my hair. And it was just a magical experience. Now, it didn't feel magical in parts of the labor. I mean, literally, I told you, I was like, this is some bush. This is some bush. I remember. But then 15 minutes later, when my daughter was in my arms,

said, oh my God, that was so beautiful. I could do it once a month. That's like what she said. That's what I said after. No, during, I was like, why didn't I get a C-section? And then afterwards, I was like, oh, let's do it again. It's fun. Like, I actually look forward to doing it again.

Yeah. It's pretty magical. It's pretty magical. I mean, it's the craziest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, I instantly started crying. You didn't see it, though, remember? Remember I kept making him, I'm like, get the fuck out of my vagina. I saw some, I was like on the back, but like when the, as soon as like you see the baby and

I mean, it's crazy. You can't explain a situation until you've seen it. And that's usually when it happens for the partners. Like, because the birthing person is having the physiological, emotional. There's the connection. You feel the baby moving. And for the partner, it's often an abstract thought. You're like, oh, yeah, she's pregnant and we're going to have a baby.

And you always see at the birth when the baby comes out, the dads always get terry eye. Well, let me talk about the dads for a second. I think like talking about doulas, when you go through this the first time, You don't really know. I didn't know. I didn't even know what a doula was until I met you and Lauren and I started talking about it. But I will say, like, you know, I've spent a lot of money on stupid things in my life. And some of the smartest money I've ever spent is on a duel. And I think a lot of dads that couples get together and say, okay, this is an investment. There's a cost to this. But to me, it's worth every penny tenfold because the peace of mind

you get, the coaching, and we could talk all about it. Like the how you put the partner at ease, how you put the mom at ease. Like you almost have somebody, like the doctors, in the in the hospitals and the nurse, they don't do what you do. And I don't know how to explain it other than just saying it that way. Because they're taking care of the medical situation. Yeah. I'm helping with the emotional and the physical. Also, you set the energy of the room. And maybe you can walk through someone that has never worked with a doula, the whole process, starting from the beginning when we were doing our stuff before, like say, okay, this, we do this, and then we get there. And then you completely, you dim the lights. You had our candles there that are still in Zaza's room.

the fake candles, like all the little things that you had. And then you also calm the mom. So maybe you can begin, start to finish on what the experience with the duel looks like. Sure. So I actually do multiple appointments with my clients. Most duelists do two to three appointments and then they show up for the birth. I was a student midwife for many years in Los Angeles in the Philippines. And I really learned that you really do the work before the birth.

And so I tend to, I follow much more of the midwifery calendar. So I see my clients once a month until they're three. 36 weeks, and at 36 weeks we meet once a week until the labor. And those appointments are in your home. They last about an hour. And we are, I'm helping to prepare you for the pregnancy, the birth, and the postpartum. So we will talk about the different stages of labor, which you could feel. We talk about nutrition and exercise. Like you said, I help you with the birth plan. We discuss like who should be coming over. When should they come? How long should they stay? I sometimes help my clients with their baby registry because they're like, oh, you're having a baby, you'll spend your

money on anything. And so working through that, like, this is necessary. You don't necessarily need that. But I think that what we're doing most importantly during that time that we're spending together is building trust and getting to know one another because the birth process is very vulnerable and could be, oh my God, look at Zaza. She's, Zaza's on my phone. But you need to come meet her. I was like, what? Those eyes are insane. And insane. Lauren has to take credit for those. I can barely see out of my.

So we're building trust because the birth is fragile. It could be, it's vulnerable. And you'll spend more time with your doula than you will with your doctor or other nurses. And so when you're feeling vulnerable, it's important to feel safe. So that's why I spend all of the time with my clients, right? And so I end up being a very trusted person in the room, right? Yeah. And it's weird when you, after you go, like, I feel like,

very close to you. Yes. Right? Like that's, and it's strange because we've obviously known each other a little while now, but in a short period of time and in brief interactions, but when you go through something like that with someone like, feel bonded in a way. It's very intimate. It's an intimate experience. Well, it can be. I'm like, it's not for everyone, right? But it's an intimate experience that you can have with someone. Like people also, like people have doctors sometimes that are in rotation with other doctors and you're scheduling all of your appointments with one doctor and you don't know who's going to show up with your birth at your birth, right? And so how safe do women feel when that happened where you have your duel who's probably the constant

in that process it can help you to feel safer and feeling safe really allows the labor to progress more efficiently than it would otherwise. So what are some miracles that you've seen? I'm sure you've seen a lot of miracles, but like what are some ones that really stand out? Well, I would say that birth is a miracle and it's I had a colleague who she said her family was complaining to her because she never makes it to church anymore because you're always on call like you're canceling dinners and concerts and things like that and she said my family they're angry with me because i never go to church i said listen you go to church every time you go to a birth you let them know that you are okay with god god is okay with you that's so true though yes you can't be mad at someone that they have to go to a

birth i mean it's so magical like that's a miracle but i've seen people overcome their fears right I've watched families bond more closely. The oftentimes the partners are in awe of their partners, like after witnessing them. 100%. I think that's the most incredible thing I've ever seen you do. You're like, almost can't believe it. I would hope so. It's just like it's wild.

I mean, it's such a like nature. It's not like a, I mean, I guess it's very normal. It is nature. But it's just something it's surreal until you see it. Let's talk humidifiers. I love. a humidifier. But you know what I love even more? A humidifier that looks cute on my bedside. I had this problem for so long. I got the lumbering one. I talked about it on the skinny confidential

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started going into labor, I called you. And Michael, we had already discussed that when my water broke and I was going to go into labor, that I was going to labor at home for as long as possible. Everyone discussed it. It was a whole known thing. The second my water broke, he looked at me and he says, what do I do? Well, I had, I think I called you like four or five times. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she was like, are you? I'll be better the second time around, I promise. But listen, I mean, it would have been worse if I didn't call you. No, it was fine, but you annoyed her probably. No, no. And then I took you through the emergency. Then this motherfucker took me through the fucking emergency entrance where people were shot and there was blood everywhere.

Someone was puking everywhere. I accidentally took a wrong turn. That was not the way I wanted to. Andre wouldn't have taken me. me that way. But anyways, I want to talk about laboring at home. And because you're big, you're big on that. Yeah, if it's right for you. It's not right for everyone, right? So I think that woulda could have made a difference in your experience if Michael had said, hey, can you come now? Because you were okay, but you weren't. And so I'm not just there for the birthing person.

I'm there for the partner as well. And so if you need me to come to help you chill, then it's time for me to come. And so I would also like to preface. I could have just given a blow drop while my water was breaking. I could have multitasked. That would have been fine. I really could have done that. Listen, I pride myself. I got a fucking blowout in my nails done. I could have given you a blow job. That would have been able to perform. But I don't know if I could have if I could have gone. Yeah, probably would have been lit. Sorry, go on. Let's not beat me up too hard on this one. I would like to say also to everyone, the water breaking is not an emergency. It's not a big sign. It's just another part of the labor. That's all. So what would you say? I know you can't.

give blanket advice, but if it's right for you to labor at home, what are some tips and tricks for not making your partner go crazy? Why do they freak? Why do, let's say, and maybe I'm not a medical expert, why do doctors and nurses freak out so much if the water breaks at home and you don't get in right away? Well, one, I don't think that they're freaking out. So one of the risk of water's breaking is one is can increase the risk of infection for the baby, right? So if your water breaks, don't put anything in your vagina. Also, it can increase the risk of a cord prolapse, which means that the umbilical cord comes down before the baby. Now, that's not likely, but it is, it could be a risk, right? I think there's an increased risk with twins, because there

could be space in between. And then also in the hospital, they do a lot of preventative care. A lot of what they do is just in case. And I think that it's also because for the people working in the hospital, we have to remember that they say the good, the bad, and the ugly, right? You are low risk. Many of the clients that I'm working with are low risk. But I think that care. Yes, I think that they could benefit in the hospital settings of doing some healing or processing after they have these traumatic birth experiences. Because they don't, they just often keep going.

Then they're bringing those experiences into the future birth. What is it like with COVID now? Explain like how that's going with your clients. Well, it is, in the beginning, it was pretty tough because we weren't allowed to go into the birth. with the client. And so, and then there was also, in the case of my clients, and it could be different for other people, there were more inductions. They were pushing people to do inductions. I had more babies going into the NICU. They were just on high alert. People were being threatened of not doing inductions, of maybe running the risk of their partners not being able to join

them because everything was changing day by day, whether or not your partner can come in or if they can't, they were sending the partners home immediately after the birth and the mother would be on the postpartum side in the room by herself, which just doesn't make, that's just so unfair. And so I had planned for all of my clients for once again, okay, well, we'll just labor at home together and then we'll travel to the hospital together and then we can face time during the birth. But everyone very easily got tipped into the inductions where most of my clients, it always comes up with most clients. I prepare you, right? I was like, no, they're probably going to try to push you towards an induction. But when they started introducing the fear of, well, then we could change the policy and your partner can't come in by the time you go into labor. So everyone was agreeing to do the inductions. It's manipulative. It is. Yeah, it's manipulative. When you say induction,

do you mean potocin? So induction, that's one way of doing induction. Sometimes they use servidil, cytotech, but it often, it's potosin issues during the induction. which completely changes the labor experience. But also, I like to also say that sometimes Pitocin is your friend. Sometimes you need it. I just have, I take issues with people receiving unnecessary interventions. What I like about your approach is nothing's off the table, right? Like you may not be a huge fan of certain things, but you don't remove it off the table.

If it's necessary, it's necessary. So it's made me feel comfortable because Lauren and you had her birth plan and you stick to it. But you're also like, hey, we need to adjust based on the circumstances. We can. Yes. I like to say, be like bamboo. Sway. Like in California, we have earthquakes.

So the buildings are designed to sway with the earthquakes. If you have one that's not swaying, it's going to crumble. Be like bamboo. That's a good one for you to remember, I think. I think about that every time. Yeah, that's a good one. Quick break to tell you about blue light. Blue light damages the eyes.

We've talked about this many times before. And since we're constantly staring at our phone, in quarantine, there's a lot of symptoms of digital eye strain like blurred vision, headaches, and dry watery eyes. I know Michael has experienced a lot of migraines and headaches because he's always on Zoom and his phone. So enter Blue Blocks. Blue blocks is created to fix all these problems that I'm talking about and block out the blue light. To me, this is very important because I'm very detailed with the way I wind down. If I'm watching Housewives or looking at a screen or answering emails, I want to protect my eyes. So just to give you a little bit of background,

the founders were really unhappy with the quality and lack of science behind a lot of blue blocking glasses. So you see them all over Instagram. There's lots of ads, but there's not ones that are actually backed by research. And these are. So these were created to change the whole entire landscape. And how they did that was they started with a high quality lens. And you can use these during the day, during the night. Here's the other thing that you guys are going to love. I turned a pair of my sunglasses into custom blue blockers. So I found these sunglasses that fit my face really well and they just took my glasses and fitted the lens and switched them out. And so now I have these glasses that fit really well, but I know my eyes are being protected. If I was to pick

a style and the style that I do have on their website, I go with the chesters every time. They're nostalgic. They're thin. They're gold. They're very chic. Anyways, if you're on your phone a lot or computer or you're watching TV, you've got to check these out. Get your energy back. sleep better and block out the unhealthy effects of blue light with blue blocks. Go to BlueBlocks today and get free shipping worldwide with 15% off. Just use code skinny. That's Blue Blocks, B-L-U-B-L-O-X.com and use code skinny off. Check out the Chester's. I'm telling you. Let's talk about massaging prolineals. Is that how you say it? Perineum. Taylor, do you know how it is to massage your perennel? Does Taylor have a perineal? No. Oh, okay. Taylor, Michael doesn't have one either. No, I would hope not. So if you're going to have a vaginal birth, how important is it for your doctor to do that massage?

Because my doctor did it on me and I feel like it made a big difference. It's not important. It doesn't have to happen. I mean, I've done births with midwives where we never did one badge exam. Even, you know, the woman just starts pushing, right? It's not necessary. I think from my own experience when I was a student midwife, there was a part of me that wanted to do it. because I can see what's happening. But then also, but then that person who's given birth

don't have to do things because that's what I would like to do, right? So some people are okay with it. Like it helps you. And there are some people who may be triggered by that, right? Because unfortunately there's a high rate of abuse, sexual abuse for women. And the birth process can trigger that. And so once again, if you like it, I love it. But it's not necessary.

How important is it to set the tone of the room? Very. How do you do that? If someone doesn't have a doula or have access, how can you do that? I think of like we're mammals, we're animals. And so when you look into the wild, like I would often tell people if you don't want to see a human birth, watch zebras give birth, watch elephants. And you'll notice like they're alone. Like dogs will go into a closet or into a quiet space. And so I like to set the tone by, I suggest that my clients either use a salt rock lamp or the LED battery operated candles because you can't light candles in the hospital. And for people who are having homebirth. you can light candles. I think that it really helps to set the tone. It allows the staff to know the type of birth experience that you want to have. They're a little bit more respectful of that space, I think, because otherwise, like, they'll come in at 3 o'clock in the morning, flick on the lights, turn them up bright. And so when you turn those lights down like that, they tend to walk in a little bit more quietly. They really turn the lights on, don't they? They just walk in and just

pop them on. Flip them on. Yeah. There's like, no, it's almost very cortisol-inducing, which can't be good for the baby. because you can only release one hormone at a time, right? And then they do it in the postpartum. It's like, let these women. People need to sleep. They kept coming in when I was postpartum being like, it's time for you to get a shot. And I was like, I am not getting any kind of shot after just pushing a baby out.

I'm not getting pricked with a needle. I have just carried something in my stomach for 10 months. You're not giving me a shot. And they kept pushing it on me. And then they're like social security number, hearing test, birth certificate. Do you want to take these expensive serious pictures? You know, it's like... And then they, like, shame you if you don't breastfeed the second.

Like, it's... Remember someone was saying that they wouldn't even give us water? Yeah, we had... What do we have? We had a little bit of formula there, but also you... Just in case. It's in case. And they're like, we can't have water.

And luckily our pediatrician was there at the time when they said that. And he's like, get him the water. Please. Why did they say you couldn't have water? They said we couldn't have warm water. They didn't have warm water. They wanted the breastfeed thing, which she did. But like, to your point, hospitals have their protocols and they work the way they do.

And that's why I think working with someone like you is beneficial. because you don't want to get necessarily, the hospital we were at was great, so I don't want to put it down. But you don't necessarily want to get caught up in their plan. You want to be in your plan and then take their consultation with yours. Speaking of that, talking about doulas and just like any other space, there's obviously people like yourself that are amazing. But there's other people who may not be. How do you find a good dola? And what are things that people should look for when they're vetting a dula if they're going to work with one?

So I always suggest that people talk to more than one doula, interview more than one doula, A lot of times people say, nope, this is it. I don't need to talk to any of my house. Yeah, like Lauren. Yes. But I often suggest that. And you want to see, you can often tell over the phone when you're talking to someone, does this person resonate with me?

How do I feel when they're talking to me? Do they have their own agenda? So then after you talk to different doulas on the telephone, then maybe schedule an in-person meeting. And once again, how do I feel with this person? Does this person feel safe? Or does this person remind me of my partner's ex-examine? lover.

You never know. It could be anything. You have to tap into it. Absolutely. And so, and I always say birth, it's like, remember Lauren's like the thinking brain isn't your friend in this process, like get into your heart, like trust your intuition. And we know when someone's not a good fit. Totally.

And also, like you said, like for me, like the voice needed to be. I know that sounds crazy, but the person's going to be walking you through it. You have a very calming, energy, calming voice. What are some wellness practices that moms can do after they have the baby? Like little ones. It could be just saying like adding lemon to your water. Like what are little things that moms can do that are new moms? I think it's really important to have nutritious meals, right?

Soft foods, right? Because your organs are trying to find their way back down. You don't really, I mean, after you give birth, you're pretty ravenous, right? But then after that, things tend to slow down. So a lot of protein, like conji is great, lentose. soup, soft foods, a lot of fluids, especially if you're breastfeeding, to drink probably about half of your body weight and fluid ounces, rest and good support, which you can plan during the prenatal during the pregnancy, like what type of support are we going to have? Not only what type

of support does the birthing person need, but what type of support does the partner leave? Because the partner plays an important role, and it's important that they're also, I think, for oftentimes, for men, and of course we have partners that are the same sex, or don't necessarily, identify with the gender, but I think they tend to be forgotten. And I like to even remind my, the birthing persons that he is also having an experience. It's very different. Oh, I forgot about him. You're there?

That's why I love you so much, Andre, because you never forgot about me. You were like, he was like, did you even eat the whole time I was in labor? I don't remember. It was all, it happened faster me. He was like staring at me. I would go to sleep and wake up and he was like, but I just remember, you know what I I remember from your birth experience, you kept telling him, don't look. No, because he kept coming by my vagina.

And I'm like, would you get out of there? Like, he kept walking by in his peripheral. But you were so respectful. Yeah, I mean, I wanted, I mean, I know a lot of, I think that's a mistake that the partner makes. Like, whoever's giving birth, right? They should be their wishes. And I didn't want to be doing things that were stressing her out or making her uncomfortable. So, like, if she wanted me behind the sheet and around and that's going to make her experience better, then so be it.

Right. Would you have watched it if I was like, I really. want you to watch it. I would have done anything that you asked me to do. Yeah. And you can even ask like I have a lot of partners that help catch the baby, even in hospitals. Like that's an option. I was talking about it with a recent client and she's like, well, I don't want them to see. I was like, okay, well, you won't be helping to catch the baby. Because it's about what's going to make that birthing person feel safe. Is it hard to catch the baby yourself? I want to catch the baby myself. I want to catch the baby myself. No. I mean, no. You just helped to get them out. I would have to catch around and

reached over and flip back. So it wasn't an option. It wasn't. It wasn't an option. Well, in the hospital, when a partner helps to catch the baby, the doctor's right there. They help to birth the head. And as the body is coming out, then they'll have you put their hands on top of theirs. Right. So the baby is safe. In home births, we actually have fathers. Actually, the midwife's hands aren't there.

They're helping to catch the baby. But yeah, when you're doing it yourself, you're really just helping to guide the baby out. Because it all really does happen on its own. I know. It really does. You can feel it happen on its own. Now that head comes out the first time, and I'm like, what? But the worst is you have the baby and you're like, fuck yeah, I'm done.

And then they start stitching you up and you're like, that hurts. And then they come in there like, okay, we're going to press on your stomach after you just delivered a human. Why did they do that again? They're doing that to, one, to stimulate the uterus and make sure that it is rock hard because once you give birth, your placenta needs to detach. And also your contractions don't end as soon as you give birth, right? You're having contractions afterwards and you have contracts. The worst. That was really bad for me.

I forgot about that. What are those called again? Contractions. Yeah, but they're called, like, are they post-labor contractions? I mean, I guess you could call them, but what's going on is involution. So your body is contracting because it's helping to, one, keep the blood vessels sealed so that the mother isn't hemorrhaging, right? And so it also helps its involution. So the contractions are helping your uterus to shrink back to this normal size and the tuck itself back into the pelvis area.

Do you see all the shit we do for you? You guys lay around, you fart, you do your hair, and you just ejaculate. and that's about fucking it. That's all you're good for. If this is up to us, we wouldn't be here as a species right now. We'd be long gone. I need to discuss my placenta. Okay.

So you and I work together where I was giving you my placenta in a cooler and you were taking it home. And I want to know. Which is wild to think about that. You just like ride off into the night with the placenta. Can you tell us like in depth that whole process and then what the benefits are because I'm still taking my pills and I'm going to save a couple for Zaza. Good. I'd like to start with the only mammals that don't eat their placenta, or three, whales, dolphins, and humans.

All other mammals eat their placentas for various reasons. One, for the nutrition, the placenta is high in iron, B12, B6, the stress-reducing hormones. And I think in the wild, they also eat their placentas so that other animal predators don't know that a birth just happened, right? And so I treat it as a sacred organ, because it is. It's the only organ that we grow and then get rid of in that. I mean, and then we birth. And so what I do is I remove the membranes. Once I cut the cord off, I try to get most of the blood out of it.

I keep a peaceful space in my kitchen. Very respectful. I sterilize my workspace, obviously, in my work utensils. When I cut the cord, I drain the blood as much as possible, and then I slice it. And then I dehydrated, and then I grind it into a powder form, and then after that I put into vegetable capsules. Well, that is a process. Can you blend your placenta too?

Is there other, okay, can you tell us the other options? Some people eat their placenta. Some people will make smoothies with their placentas. I've made them in homebirth immediately after the birth and the mothers are drinking. And honest to God, everyone has said, this is delicious because you can't taste it, right? Because there's berries and yogurt and juice and things like that. Some people, one, asked me she wanted to cook something with her placenta. You could also, maybe you don't want to consume your placenta,

and some people will actually bury it in their yard and possibly plant a tree over it. Because once again, it's known as the tree of life, right? That is what kept your baby alive. Maybe I should make a placenta margarita with my next baby. Go ahead, girl. That would be good, though, like line the rim with blood. You are so special.

You know I would do it. She's special, all right. I would do it. But you said something so interesting to me, when you brought the pills over. You said, take the pills and then freeze some. Yes. Not freeze some for Zaza. Yeah. So what you could do is you can, so there's instructions on how to take them. You can take them daily and the amount of pills that you get is based on the size of the baby. The placenta is about one-third the weight of the baby. So there's usually, if someone gives birth

at 34 weeks, they're probably going to get 75 pills, right? You have a 7 to 8-pound baby. There's probably between 125 and 155. I can also tell about the placenta how that mother's like her circulation and eating as well. You could. How was my placenta? Let's talk about it. Healthy. It was healthy. It's perfect. It's as beautiful as you are. It was a throbbing placenta. Yes. You, this is something off topic from what we're talking about, but I've wanted to ask you this for a long time. You make this thing called fire cider. Oh, you've seen that? Yes. I'm obsessed. You guys have to go on her Instagram. We'll leave the link after this. But and you make this amazing concoction that I think with everything going on with COVID and everything, it's such a good immune support. Can you tell us how to make it at home? Sure. It's known as a master

tonic. Actually, I'm going to bring you some. I have two big jars at home. And so what you do, you're going to use garlic. Well, this is what I use. Garlic, horseradish, rosemary, or thyme, ginger. What else did I use in there? Lemon. Lemon. Did you use apple cider vinegar? Yes, apple cider vinegar and you could add onions. Onions, yes. So a lot of antiviral immunity boosting roots and herbs. And so then what you do is you chop that up really good and you put it into a jar and then you fill it to the top of apple cider vinegar.

And then that sits for about four or six weeks. You shake it up regularly during that process and it's fermented. And then what I do is then after I strain the roots, I take the liquid and I add honey to it, which is also an antiviral. That is amazing. It's pretty, you could use it as a salad dressing, like if you do an oil and vinegar. My family, like I send it to my mom and my stepdad all the time. That is, you need to bottle that and call it. I do.

You need to sell it. I am actually I'm working because, you know, I just finished herbalism school. So I've been working on tea blends. I'm doing second, third trimester, fourth trimester tea blends that I'm working on. And my therapist, because he has to help me with this. He says, you know, Andre, do you like doing? I was like, no, this is hard, like trying to figure out my packaging and my label sizes and designers. It's a lot of work.

But I feel like I always feel that the universe gives us everything that we need to heal ourselves. You are right. Right? If you could recommend a couple herbs to our audience that are good for pregnant women and after postpartum, what would they be? I would say stinging nettles. Stinging nettles, infusions are great. Stinging nettles I refer to it as the beast of the herbs. It's high in protein, iron, potassium, magnesium.

It's a nerve vine. It helps to settle the nervous system. It's an aptogen, so it goes to the places where your body needs it. Red raspberry tea leaf is great. It's a uterine tonic, so it helps to support the uterus. Red clover is great, but red clover is contraindicated if you're taking blood thinners. Dandelion root is great. That's also cleans the liver. I mean, there's so many. You had me taking all those things, too, while I was pregnant. I really like the nettles. It's great, right? It was really good. If you could leave our audience with a book, a podcast, a resource when it comes to birth, and there's one that you told me, which I think you're going to say, what would it be? Was it anime Gaskin's Guide to Birth? Yeah. I like, there's so many options out there. There's nurture by Erica Chiti. I really like the Anime Gaskin's Guide to Birth because I love the stories in the back of the book because I think that they really, once again, help to normalize the experience. Right.

They talk about fear, intense pressure, pain, loss, all the relationship between the birthing person and her partner, how that can impact the labor, the birth and the postpartum fear. So pretty outdated. I think it was written in the 70s, but birth has been the same since the beginning of time outside of, you know, medical interventions that have been created to help support it. But I think that it really helps to normalize the birth experience. Did you like it? I loved it. I loved my experience with you. I would give you a 10 in every area.

If you guys are looking for a doula, she's amazing. How can people find you, pimp yourself out for Instagram, your website, everything? So funny enough, like my website has been under construction for the past. 14 years because I'm an audio girl in a digital world. And so, but that's coming, we're finishing up that this week. So my Instagram webpage is Miss Lemon and Honey. You'll find there's not a lot of birth work on my Instagram because I'm not a birth junkie. Like I'm just a woman that's like supporting birth.

What else did you ask me? You shared your Instagram handle and I think can they just DM you if they want to book you? Yes, they can DM me as well. And I want to say thank you. I could cry and learn. Thank you so much for, I know you wanted to keep it secret. But every time you've mentioned me, I get so many hits on Instagram and I always wondering, what happened? Because I'm like a secret dula where people send out a bat signal and I show up, right?

Well, I found you so randomly. I happened to watch Shea Mitchell's YouTube, which I never have watched any really birth. And I thought, oh, I'm about to give birth. I might as well watch this. And in it, I saw you and I could hear your voice. And that's what the voice that was for me. and then I called you and you said, oh, should I? You need to interview other doulas.

And I was like, no, the voice. I'm good. I'm good. I got mine. Remember how you, and it was interesting because you said you were watching and there's a point where Shay is texting me and it says Andre Dula. So you started like trying to Google me. Listen, she went deep dive.

I can't ever be. I heard your voice. And then I was like, I have to find who that was. And it was very easy to find you because I googled Andre Dula and it just showed up. I can't do shit. If I do anything, she'll find out. The fact that she deep dove, saw a scream. That's women.

Yeah. But the voice is what got it for me. And then you showed up to my house and it was just great energy and great vibes. And I can't recommend you a note. I just wanted to say, I have four people. I just have my first appointment with another client that I booked who have been basically because you speak so highly of me on your side. And they're like, who is this doula? Who is this doula? So whenever you drop my handle, like I get bombarded. And so I have four people in my books right now. So well deserved. And let me tell you. They love you. And I. I always say she is exactly who she presents herself as to the world. That's nice. You know what I love? I was like, because you see your pictures,

you're all glammed out. But I said, but I show up, but she always looked like Tupac. It looked like a homeless troll. You saw me when I was fucking carrying around this huge stomach. Like, me high side.

I was such a nerd in high school. My dad probably was like, what the hell is he doing? I had a giant poster of Tupac next to my bed. I never thought Lauren looked like Tupac. But I'm going to think about that now. every time she's in the, like, dressed up. Yes, very different.

I'm so glad I shared my experience with you because it really was so beautiful and I can't wait to have another one and you be my doula. Come back anytime on the podcast. Thank you. I adore you. I'm so honored. For every family that I work with, I'm so honored. It is really an honor to be invited into that sacred space.

Well, there's a reason for it. Yeah. We are honored. Thanks for helping Michael. Yeah. Oh. Hey, guys, before you go, let me know on my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential who you want to see next on the podcast. We are constantly keeping track of who you guys want to see on the podcast. It's very

important to us. And if you give us your recommendation, someone from the team will drop into your inbox and send a bunch of you skinny confidential pens. They're so cute. I have 10 on my desk. They're pink. They're cheeky. Of course. And with that, make sure you've rated and reviewed the podcast on iTunes.