The Bossticks - Danielle Bernstein AKA We Wore What - How To Create Your Dream Job, Overcome Challenges, & Build An Online Presence & Brand

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

#768: Join us as we sit down with Danielle Bernstein – a NYC fashion influencer turned business mogul & the visionary behind the fashion brand We Wore What. From transforming a passion project into a thriving fashion & business empire, Danielle has continued to pioneer & evolve her entrepreneurial spirit. In this episode, Danielle discusses leadership dynamics to build a strong team, balancing personal relationships with business, navigating the challenges of an online community, & embracing authenticity in all aspects of her journey.  To connect with Danielle Bernstein click HERE To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To Watch the Show click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential Head to the HIM & HER Show ShopMy page HERE to find all of Michael and Lauryn's favorite products mentioned on their latest episodes. Visit istandwithmypack.org to support I Stand With My Pack's (ISWMP) mission by donating or adopting. Every contribution helps! This episode is sponsored by Branch Basics Save 15% on your Starter Kit or their new Hand Soap when you use code SKINNY at branchbasics.com. This episode is sponsored by Cymbiotika Just go to cymbiotika.com/theskinny and use code SKINNY to save 15% off on your subscription order. This episode is sponsored by Stakt Visit shopstakt.com/tsc and use code SKINNY at checkout for 20% off your purchase. This episode is sponsored by First Aid Beauty Don't wait, get 20% off with promo code SKINNY at FirstAidBeauty.com/SKINNY. Produced by Dear Media  

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Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and her. There was a time in both of our careers where I'm sure we were going to every single event that we got invited to. And that's because it was so bright and shiny. And then I quickly, fortunately realized, wait a second, I can't be everywhere. It's not good for my time, my time management. Like, I need that time at night to not go to an event and maybe to a content plan for

the next week or to work on something outside of, you know, my company and or to work on time for myself. So I think that, you know, that learning went to say no goes across so many different parts. Daniel Bernstein of We Boar What is on the show today. And I have to tell you, I am really delighted to have her on the show. She was a breath of fresh air. I think the internet runs wild with certain celebrities and influencers. And to be able to sit down with them and have a conversation in long form gives a lot of

context and a lot of depth to who they are. And I think that's what this episode did. is it showed Danielle in a very multifaceted way. It shows her many sides. And I thought it was really authentic and organic. And I have to tell you, I enjoyed her so much that we actually exchanged numbers. And I found her nothing but lovely. She's very down to earth. She's cool. She's charismatic. And I think it'll be so cool for so many people to listen to her on a platform that is long form. She doesn't do a lot of podcast. She is a New York City fashion influencer turned. business mogul. She's the visionary behind the fashion brand we wore what. And she's a hustler.

At the end of this episode, she gives you guys a code to shop. And there's a jacket that she's wearing. If you're watching this on YouTube, that's so good. I think it's going to sell out quickly. I want it for myself. I literally thought the jacket she was wearing was a $3,000 jacket. And it was actually a jacket that she had designed. So definitely wait until the end to get the code. go shop all her cute pieces. On that note, Danielle, welcome to the Him and Her show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. So one of the things I think that has made you so successful from afar is the momentum.

And there's something about New York City mixed with your momentum that's unique. Has anyone ever told you that? I have a lot of energy. And I think that's a question I get asked about all the time. Like, how do you do so much? How? I mean, a lot of different things. One, I live by my schedule. So my Google calendar, my Gmail is my Bible, basically. And I really follow a very strict schedule, which includes content time, personal time, date nights, dinners, whatever I have, even meditation time is in there. And it's really important because I like to be on a schedule. And it's not like I don't go off my schedule every so often. I'm not so strict with it. But it really helps me to get done every thing. thing I need to get done in a day for all the different companies I work across.

When you were a little girl, did you have these big ideas? Like, looking back to you pinpoint little times where you were entrepreneurial? I've always been very entrepreneurial, whether it was, you know, running something for my high school or working in a clothing store when I was younger and doing five different jobs at the same time. I grew up very privileged, but if I wanted to buy something clothing-wise or I wanted to get something for myself, my parents didn't hand it to me. They said, go work and get it yourself. So I always had to be very entrepreneurial in the ways that I either wanted to get certain things or, you know, just create different businesses. What would your mom describe you as? My mother would say that the easiest part of raising me was my birth.

She always makes that joke. It's actually quite funny because it's true. But no, I've always been a hustler and I've had this like natural born confidence and energy. even when I was in glasses and braces and definitely wasn't cute, I thought I was the hottest thing ever. So I've always had this, like, crazy amount of confidence, this go-getter attitude. You know, I'm a very decisive person. So when I set my mind to something, I go out and do it.

Like, I'm a big executor. If someone's listening and they want to execute something, say you're their mentor. Okay. What advice are you giving them? I mean, at a certain point, you just have to do it. There's a reason, and I've had tech companies, where you put out the MVP, the most value,

product that you can at first, and then you innovate from there. So you just have to launch. You just have to get started and then learn along the way, find the right business partners, find the right people who complement your strengths and weaknesses, and just go for it. I was thinking about you and Lauren and some people that have been, I think, at this kind of game for a while. 13 years. When I think back, like when she first started, she's an OG. Yeah. And I think a lot of people, this has now become a career for many people. Right. When did you start putting yourself out there on the internet and when did you realize that

you could do this as a living? Well, 13 years ago is when we wore what started and it started as a street style blog, which is why I was even called We War What? It was we as in the girls of New York City, what are we wearing? And I was photographing street style around the Fashion Institute of Technologies Campus where I went to school to show my friends that were at the Big Ten schools and in other states and weren't surrounded by the street style I was seeing every day to be like, here's your daily source of outfit inspiration and that I would link to similar items.

Then I flipped the camera on on myself and the whole we wore what origin story is that I started photographing my personal style, was an early adopter on Instagram, and sort of put the proof in the pudding of why influencers are the most modern form of advertising, why we are better paid than a billboard in Times Square, and how we have such a direct access to a consumer that, that this is why this is, you know, where the marketing dollars should be spent. And so I spent basically my entire career proving that concept. And then obviously creating my own brand was just really backing myself 100%. What was the goal for you in the beginning?

Did you even know what you were doing? It was totally a passion project. And obviously, that's not the norm anymore. It doesn't just start as a passion project. People want to be an influencer. Like, that is not. That wasn't a career. I was a blogger at the time.

There wasn't a career in being a creator. So, you know, for me, it was a passion project that I then realized, okay, I can start charging for something like this because I'm producing sales for this company. So why shouldn't I be making commission? Why shouldn't they be paying me to advertise their products? And so, you know, we as in all the OGs sort of created what it meant to be an influencer and what we should be charging for things like that. And it was a very gray area. And still in so many ways is a gray area. But, you know, we were making up the rules as we went along until it really became more of a defined industry. Is it hard for you to date as all this is going on? I can imagine we've had a lot of strong women on this podcast and I always ask this question. It's intimidating to a lot of men. I think and they don't almost know how to take it and I think they think they want to be in on the relationship and they think they want to get a little speck of the fame and they want to get on Instagram. But when they get it, it's not quite what they thought. Yeah. I mean, I've had a long dating. history. I've had, Let's go through everyone. I've had a few. It's in my first book, the dating history is in my book. But I've had some very long-term serious boyfriends over the past, you know, decade.

And, you know, about a year and a half ago got out of a four-year relationship with somebody that I thought was the one. And I think that you just have to find someone that really compliments you. That's your best friend. And I was not necessarily focused on the right qualities in a man in my past relationship. relationships and I'm in a very healthy, loving relationship now with somebody who is very confident. I think it takes a really confident guy to be with a pretty dominant, strong woman like me. No, I just go cry every night in the room.

You know what it's like. When this is over, I go cry for about 20 minutes. But you know what was also really important for me was for to find a guy who really help me tap into my more feminine side, especially in those private moments that you don't see on Instagram. Like, I do feel really feminine and like the woman that I've wanted to feel like while also being the strong woman that everyone knows. Yeah, you know, it's so funny. I was, what happened so it was this? We were talking, like, I think Lauren and I work for a few different reasons, but there's a very feminine side to Lauren, mixed with a very masculine side when she's doing the things that I think you need to do in order to be successful and put yourself out there and be, all those things, right? And I do think

there's a masculine... And he thinks those things are hot, which I'm sure you do too. Yes, but what I do tell her sometimes if it's too crazy, like, say we're in the bedroom together, I'm like, sometimes I look at like, hey, put your fucking balls away. Because it's, you know what I mean? Like, you don't want to. I haven't been told that. Not like while we're having sex. You're not like put your balls away, why we're fucking. But I think that there's a moment where like, and also for men, I think that, and people get mad about this topic. But I think tapping into masculine, feminine energy, but you don't want to be so far one way and so far the other way all the time. I like to be a perfect mix of both, feminine, masculine, whatever it is. Just like in my career, I like to be the

perfect mix of relatable and aspirational. I think it's all about finding the balance. And with a relationship, it's all about that healthy communication. So a lot of what my boyfriend and I did from an early stage was talk about what we wanted and needed from each other. And, you know, how would we like things in the bedroom to be? How would we like things to be when we go out to dinner? Something that makes me feel really feminine is, you know, not bringing a credit card out when we go out to dinner and not being the one to, to, you know, handle the tip or the bill at a table, even if I'm splitting everything 50-50 or even if, you know, we deal with our finances separately, like someone having, like him having cash to tip somebody when we're on vacation, those are things that make me feel more feminine for some reason. And I was very open about communicating that to him from an early time. And so that I think has really helped us.

I don't like to bring my credit card anywhere, no matter how much money I make. Well, now you don't need to be. I don't like to bring your credit. I'm just not a credit card kind of bring her gal. No, but I think it's, I think like for some, we got into a weird place up here at time. We're like, you couldn't. say those kind of things or people didn't like you saying those things like I think it's okay. I don't know. It's weird. There's just weird. Like as a man, you can be a really strong woman and also not want to hold a credit card. Yeah. And I as a man, I like the feeling of like taking care of my wife when we're going out. You know, it makes you feel masculine. What has it been like putting your relationship on social media with all the feedback? Yeah. So after my last relationship, I pretty much vowed to never put a relationship on social media again. I don't. I just. I just.

I just wasn't sure if I wanted that kind of exposure and outside opinion again. And then I found myself in a really loving, healthy relationship that I was so excited and proud to share with the world. But I didn't do that until he was fully prepared for what came with that. And so when I decided to finally share us on social media, I said, okay, here's the best case scenario and here's the worst case scenario. And so I very much prepared him for the types of comments he would get, the types of companies or, you know, publications that would write articles about us, the kind of digging they would do into his life or his career. And so we were very prepared for what it came with. And, you know, it may seem like I show a lot of my relationship, but we definitely don't. We keep a lot of things private. And I think that that's really important to have those boundaries. And we're constantly

checking in with each other when it comes to that. What did you, so what were the things you were guarding him against? Yeah, what is this conversation like you? I said, okay, the worst, you know, what's going to happen when I post you? You know, there's going to be some Reddit comments. There's going to be this, that the worst thing is probably the New York Post to write an article. And then you're going to get a ton of phone calls about it. And that's like exactly what happened. Just that he's dating you. That's what they write about. They said, this guy's dating. I don't know why it was so interesting to people, but it was. And it was fine. It wasn't that big of a deal. So when he gets a negative comment on his Instagram, did you give? Oh, he doesn't. He's private now.

I mean, I don't go private before. Okay, let's say he sees a negative comment. Does he react to that or does he now, does he know what to do because you've sort of coached him through. He doesn't react to anything now. Yeah, I think at first to anybody, even to my friends, to my family, when they get comments, it can be a little bit shocking. Like, I had to talk to my brother and sister-in-law who just had a baby. Like, are you okay with me showing her? And they're like, yes, up until a certain age when she starts becoming recognizable, then we don't want her shown anymore. So that's just a conversation I always have with my friends and family to kind of, you know, I chose this career. I chose to be a public figure. So I know what comes with that. But everybody in my life did not. And so I'm always really

cautious and sensitive to that fact that even one comment when I get thousands a day can be really intense for somebody to deal with. How do you combat any negative comments? Is there something that you do now, a practice that you have? I feel like listening to you on Melissa, it seems like you've had a full mind-body evolution. Totally. I used to address a lot of them and now I do not pay attention to it. And I truly mean that. It's not like I go behind and I read it and I cry about it separately. I literally don't pay attention to it. Good for you. I either laugh at it or I changed my mindset to really just feeling bad for people who take the time to write a negative comment about someone else. Like, you have to realize someone like that must be in such an unhappy place that you have to

feel sorry for them because hurt people, hurt people. And so once I had that mindset, I was like, all right, I'm not going to address the negativity because I don't want to put that out there to my platform and my community. I'm going to keep it cool here, even though I'm very vulnerable with my followers and authentic. And I like to tell them if I'm having a bad day or if something happening that I want to share about, I will. But it's just about not addressing it. It just comes with the territory. Heidi Powell just came on this show. She's in the fitness industry and she said how she deals with it is the same way. If the stove is hot and everyone tells you that the stove is hot, why would you keep touching the stove? And that's what going on hate sites or looking at comments.

Why would you even go there? You would stop touching it. I think it's challenging because early day, I'll just use this show. Like you guys have been putting yourselves out there longer than I have, but doing early days of this show, we would take a lot of feedback because we were forming the show and what do you want to listen to? And I think the general temperature of the internet now is productive people that are doing well, typically right, like simple, nice, love it, great, move on. Right. But the stuff that's longer winded these days is a lot of negative stuff. And the question you have to ask yourself is, is this productive in a way that I can take this information, use it to improve the platform? Or is it just hate stuff that's tearing you down? And at some point, like, if it's the hate stuff, it's not productive for you as a person in any, like, endeavor to pay too much attention to it. Because in order to do anything, put yourself out there publicly run a company, take a chance on an idea. You almost have to kind of like put the blinders on and just do it because there's so many naysairs and so many forces against you that if you pay too much attention to that, you just get derailed. Yeah. I love constructive. of criticism. And I'll ask my followers all the time. If I saw there was a slow seller for my clothing

brand, I'll be like, what didn't you guys like about this collection? Or what do I need to do more of going forward? And so I'll always ask for, you know, what type of content you want to see? What am I doing right versus wrong? And I welcome that kind of criticism because it's really helpful for me to then be flexible and to innovate and to, you know, transform whatever we're doing with the brand or with my platform or whatever it may be. But, you know, you can't, you just can't add fuel to the fire. And I think that's the moral of the story with anything. Like, we went through it for so many years, especially during cancel culture, COVID time where, you know, we were, I was particularly addressing basically any accusation or negative comment that came my way. And that was a really unhealthy

mental mindset for me to be living in. But the problem is, and this is what I think a lot of people don't realize is there's no rule book that we got on how to deal with when you're dealing with the world. And it's, it's. almost like you have to have an evolution through it. You have to get through it to get to the other side to realize what you should be doing. Like now this generation has more of a playbook because they can look at what we've done. Yes. And they can see, oh, okay, maybe I shouldn't, I should. I think that you have done a really good job putting yourself out there in an authentic way and kind of not giving a fuck what anyone has to say about it. I think that that's also going to come

with hate. It's like part of the gig. Totally part of the gig. And yes, you're right. There is a playbook now for how to handle those types of situations. And I get approached all the time by other influencers and creators or even some celebrities who will be like, how did you handle this type of thing? And I'll always give them the same advice. Just literally don't address it. Unless you really have something to apologize for it, then just get in front of it, apologize for it and move forward. Don't continue focusing on it every single day because you will end up bringing more attention to something than people already know about. And more people will end up. It's just fuel to the fire. It's almost like do nothing. Well,

just do nothing. It depends on it's obviously situational, but a lot of the time, it's like, people are on to the next thing the next day. You know what I mean? Have you ever seen a bully start bullying someone and then it's kind of like somebody starts getting beat up and everybody piles in, like some kid gets jumped or whatever? It's like. Yeah, that's the internet.

It's kind of like the internet. But if you're just like, hey. keyboard bullies we call them. Yeah. And if you're just kind of like, hey, I don't care. I'm not part of it and I'm not sorry. If it's something you're not sorry about then, like, I just think people like, okay, move on to something easier.

Yeah. Right. And I always see, you know, maybe wearing some other hats they wear the people that are are so afraid and constantly trying to like apologize for everything, even if they're not sorry, those are the ones that get at the worst. You welcome that sort of attention and that. And if you're giving it the time of day, then more people will want to come out and take part in that. And that's what I found was happening. And all of a sudden when I changed my mindset, I changed my attitude. I worked a lot on my mental health. I worked with my life coach to really figure out like what is my position on social media and this platform. What am I here to do? I'm not here to talk about these things every day. I'm here to help inspire people to talk about my business, to share great

clothing. That is not really, it didn't feel true to me. And it also was having a very negative effect on my mental health. And then once I made that switch, I was in such a better place as a person. What are the things in your toolbox that you've used to shift mind, body, spirit? Lots of things. Yeah, give us, this is the podcast. This is the podcast. to give us every little thing. Having having a life coach who I've worked with for around seven to 10 years now, she's been incredible. And what I like about a life coach more than a therapist is that she just tells me what to do and how to do it. Like it's not as much of why are you this way. And let's talk about your feelings. It's like, okay, here are the tools you need to become a better person,

put them into practice and let's start doing it. And one of the first things she ever taught me was what happens when you get in an Uber? I was like, what do you mean? I get an Uber. I'm on my phone. And I go off to my destination. She's like, do you ever talk? to the Uber driver and have a conversation with them, said, no, not really. This is about seven years ago now. And she said, next time you get in an Uber, say hello, how are you, and find out about the person. And I did. And I swear it changed my life. Having that conversation with a person and not only did it change my life, but that person's day, I guarantee you, is changed because of that interaction too. And so that's something so little, not even to do with business or relationships,

that totally changed the way I was going about my day, the way others felt around me. And that's what working with a life coach has done. I've also meditated in the form of breathwork, which Melissa and I, Melissa works with Erica now too. She's the best. Breathwork has been really instrumental in just helping me to stay calm and to get out of my anxiety. But really working out is the way that I take care of my mental health. Working out is my escape. It's when my phones put away, whether it's 30 minutes, 45 minutes, or a full hour, a combination of all my different workouts really helped me to like ground myself. What's the workouts that you do? So I, I do floor Matt Pilates type workouts with my friend Grace.

She's incredible. She's up and coming. I do Melissa's workout sometimes. We don't as much have time for each other anymore. But when we find that time together, it's so special. And then I do a lot of weight training. I love weights. So I'll do that about twice a week, twice a week, and then walks on the West Side Highway.

What are other little wellness things you do? Do you cold punch? Do you sauna? What are all the little things? I don't really cold plunge your sauna. Although I just got a sauna. So I'm trying to get into it more. It's hard in New York City to cold plunge.

I know. How am I going to cold? I mean, can you get one in your house? Can we like install one? Not really. I bet you could do like a custom Japanese bathtub or something that would fit maybe. I should. There's probably ways to do it now.

I mean, they're being fucking. There's a lot of work to go and leave your house, Michael, and do it. And then you're out in the cold. If you have Taylor's Trent, you're fine. The lesson is if things are going on, you just get in the cold plunge. You just get in the cold plunge. What are your other, what are your other wellness? I mean, I take a ton of supplements.

I love my supplements. Do you want me to name them? Please. Really? I take every morning, I start my morning with omnibiotic, which is like a powder version of seed, but more effective. It's a great probiotic in the morning. I take altheonine in the morning, which is for stress. I take vitamin B, vitamin, sorry, vitamin C, vitamin D, and Well Bell, which I brought you guys some because I want you to have it. And it grows your hair. Well Bell is the reason. Thank you for giving me the plug. No, well, Bell has really changed my life. I mean, you knew me when I was blonde, fried hair extensions, the whole thing. Your hair has grown so much. Yeah, it's truly the best hair supplement out there. And I'm an advisor for the company, so I need to preface it with that. But I started as it's like first user. I wasn't always that way. It was created by my doctor, actually. Talk to us about how you look at investing because you do a lot of behind the scene stuff that I think people don't realize. Totally. Companies where I know I can be instrumental, whether it's helping in their promotion, which is

the obvious, but the rebranding, the digital marketing strategy, strategic introduction. So I'm involved in companies all over the spectrum from health and wellness to hospitality, food beverage, tech, all of it. And you do Mo Assist. Mo Assist as well, yeah. Okay, is that yours or is that something? Yeah, Moises is our tech platform. It's in the middle of some innovation right now. So we're working through what the next phase is, probably an AI play. But really my focus, as far as my investments go, Well, Bell is definitely number one. It's my biggest. And then obviously my own brand.

We wore what? What's some bad advice that you got along the way as you've been growing? Bad advice. Bad advice. Some things that you look back and like, oh, like that was not good advice. Because there's a lot of people that are trying to do what you have done now. Yeah. I think that delegating is extremely important.

But there's a level to delegating and stepping away that I think there's a balance that needs to be found where you're not too removed from any major decision making in your own company, at least. And I think there was a time where I removed myself from part of the processes in my business that I then saw the effect of. And so needing to stay involved on at least very high level executive decisions and having an approval process with certain parts of my company was really important. So while I get the advice to delegate and that is really important all the time, there's a certain aspect of control that as a perfectionist and someone who knows what's best for my company that I don't want to give up and will. not give up. Give us an example of something that you delegated that you actually look back on and you're like, okay. So for a certain point in the We Were What brand, I removed myself from fittings because we used a

traditional fit model for them. And there was like a season, there was, I think three seasons of collections that were just using a fit model where I didn't, I wasn't as involved or didn't have approval over the final fits of some of the clothing. And that was because we really wanted to hit industry standard and make everything size inclusive and really fit very well. So we were using a very traditional model. But then I looked at it and I said, wait, but I need this jacket to be oversized. And I want that waist to be super tight. And I want the clothing to fit a certain way. And I noticed in my products that I wasn't happy with the way it was looking. And so I got back involved with the fitting process and now I'm totally involved with it. And it's really been a game changer for

the business. I was really interested when you talked on Melissa's podcast about the structure of your infrastructure, like how you think about. your team. Your team seems like it's very important to you. Can you kind of talk about that? I think people are interested in the behind the scenes. Yeah. You asked how I do so much in a day. And one of the answers I should have given you first and foremost was I have an amazing team. I have such a badass team of women that are by my side and that work really hard and that feel the company is their own as well. And that's all about creating great company culture, you know, being respected versus feared as a leader because there's a big difference that I had to learn along the way and really putting that

trust and faith in my team to feel passionate about whatever they're doing. And so we have a big team, bigger than people would expect, actually, you know, internally, the day-to-day operations of we were what is about eight or nine people. And then throughout the brand, we're about 40. Lauren and I have spent years on this show talking about how to better your life, how to clean up the things that you eat, how to make sure that what you're putting in your body is good for you. We have also recently started talking about how important it is to make sure the stuff that you're cleaning with, your household supplies have clean ingredients. They don't have a bunch of fragrances. They're safe to use around your children, your pets, yourself.

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of Symbiotica and their line of supplements and products. We have had the founders of symbiotica on this show multiple times. We could talk to them for days, hours, weeks we have at times all about all the things that they're creating over there at Symbiotica. What we love about symbiotica is most of their supplements are in liposomal form, which means you actually eat them like food. This is going to give better delivery to your body and immediately give you the benefits of taking these supplements. Some of the standout stars that we love are their magnesium 3 and 8. This is one of the best sleep products. You can also put it in your morning coffee. So many of us are deficient in magnesium. Their glutathione is one of the best on the

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so good. One of the things I do with the magnesium is put it in my morning coffee or tea or macha, whatever you want to do. Lorne and I could not be bigger proponents, bigger fans of the brand. So give them a try, start your Symbiotica subscription today. You can save 15% on your order with R code Skinny. Just go to W. www.symbiotica.com slash the skinny and use code skinny on your subscription order. Again, that's symbiotica.com slash the skinny. I work out at home a lot. Sometimes when I can't get to my trainer to weightlift or if I can't get to a Pilates class, I'll just lay out my mat and do a little workout. And I have been using the coolest mat. You guys are going to be so obsessed with it. So it's by

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and you want to work out at home and you like saving time, go on their site and look at how beautiful their pieces are. The foldable fitness mat is unlike any other. I love it in black. They also have the most beautiful weights, like I said. Go. check them out, especially if you work out from home, visit shopstacked.com slash T-S-D and use code skinny at checkout. You get 20% off your purchase. That's S-H-O-P-S-T-A-K-T dot com slash T-S-D and use code skinny for 20% off your order. I mean, that's a big team that you're managing. I think that that's what's so interesting about what you've done to me is it's like you content marketed, you were an influencer. I don't look at you as an influencer anymore. I look at

you as full entrepreneur or a businesswoman. You're a CEO founder. You're sort of running the ship. And I think sometimes a lot of influencers get stuck in the mud with being an influencer and they don't know how to transition and evolve into something that has more sustainability in the long term. Yeah. You've done a really good job of that. Thank you. How do you look at each, you don't have to go through each one, but you said you have a team of eight that you work with every day. What does that like look like? Give it to someone who has no idea. You have a CEO. Like tell us that Yeah, so Mo is my C-O. I have my assistant who's here with me today, who is like basically my second mom. I love you, so. I have my entire content and marketing team, my sales team, my production team, my tech designers,

my wholesale team. Like, there's so many of us, too many to name right now, and I'm definitely going to forget people. But I think that, you know, we all work really well together. We work across two different offices. So my brand is structured as such where the creative team is in one place and then the design brand. and the tech team is in another place. What is the difference between being respected and feared? And is that from your life coach? How did you learn? Totally. Does it sound like it was from my life coach? I don't know.

Taylor, I need you to fear me at all times. I mean, there's a big difference between being feared versus respected. And as a leader, you want to instill that, you know, I'm your leader and certain things. This is the structure of the company and certain things need approvals and this and that. But I want you to feel comfortable coming to me with anything. and feedback is welcomed and finding that balance along the way with my attitude has really been because I can come off like pretty harsh sometimes and I'm obviously I'm pretty dominating. I'm strong but I have that soft side of me and leaning into that soft side doesn't make me weak.

It just makes me stronger actually. And so learning how to lean into that just like I do in my relationship with the feminine side has been really helpful when finding that right dynamic with my team. I think when you're someone who is a. so time oriented. Like, I feel like you're like me where you think your time is your currency. Totally. Time is money for sure. So when you're giving feedback and I have to work on this too, the feedback is sometimes so curt because I don't want to waste any time. Yes. But then I'm like, wait, I need to like do maybe a compliment sandwich or like a little softer. Compliment sandwiches are

amazing. But I do that with you sometimes. But I think that that's a conversation that could take place where like, I think you can sit down with people and say and just say it like that. Be like, hey, I'm not Kurt and I'm decisive and I'm not trying to be short with you, but time is this and we're all busy and we're all trying to, I say all the time, like, does a meeting need to really be an hour 45? We can skip the pleasantries and do that later, but here we'll get you done. And I'll start meetings that way too. You know, like let's just, for the sake of time, for the sake of everyone's time, let's just start. And when I hire new people on my team, I always say to them, I text without punctuation. I will say things pretty blunt and clearly. And please know that that is not my

attitude, that that is not my tone and that there is nothing meant by it other than, let's just get this shit done. And I have to be very clear with my team. And I'll even, I have, you know, they'll go to Mo, or they'll go to Jess, who's my brand director. I just hired my best friend as my brand director, which has been amazing. We have a friendship contract. And that is a whole other thing we should talk about. A friendship contract? Yes. Working with your best friend can be tough. We all know that. Sure. You work with your husband and wife. You guys know it. How do you structure your day to get all of this done? And I mean from a really micro level. Are you scheduling photo shoots on one day? Are you time batching? Are you taking

calls one day? What's the structure of your flow look like? Yeah, I have a lot of weekly set calls. Like Monday is my busiest day and it's most of my board meeting. So it's my, you know, touch base with my business partners or my well-billed board meeting or whatever it may be. We basically from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. have full back-to-back meeting scheduled either every half hour on the half hour with either 10 or 15-minute breaks so that I can have time for to eat or to drink To go pee. Exactly. Or, you know, every hour on the hour, depending on what the meetings need. And most of our meetings are held on Zoom now. And then I go between my offices across the street from my apartment. So I go back and forth all day. And my other office is very close. So I'm between a ton of places at once and handling a lot of different things and somehow finding time for content too. What's the behind the scene thing that you do that maybe people who follow you don't know? When it comes to content or your or your clothing, like, What's something that you do that Sophia would know that maybe someone who's listening?

What do I do that people wouldn't know about? She's like, hold on. Let me look. I'm on Zoom all day, but I'm in my bathroom getting ready half the time. So I won't like get ready in the morning and then be done for the day and leave. I'll like shower and then sit with a wet head on my first meeting and then hop onto my second meeting and be blowing my hair with an air pod in or something like that. Like I will not just get ready and leave the bathroom. So I'll probably spend like three hours a day just kind of standing in my bathroom with the laptop.

open on meeting. Are you doing your hair like this yourself? No, my, my, Andy came over and did my hair today, but I can do my hair myself. I'm pretty good at it. You can do your hair like this. I don't think I've, I don't, I need to maybe teach me. I don't really know how to do tutorials all the time. How do you do, how do you do your own hair running all these things? It's not that easy, right? It's, it's not that easy. I can understand. And it's time consuming. You have so much going on. The fact that you're actually blow drying your own hair, Michael, I know you don't understand this, although he does take three hours. No, it doesn't take me long. It's just a quick push back with the head. It's not a quick.

My boyfriend has long hair like yours. You guys should talk about products. You know, I'll give them some products. But somebody who doesn't know is you don't know because you don't do your hair, so you just don't know what it takes. You never do your own hair. Never. Because I'll tell you why. It looks a little ratty after a while if we don't get somebody there.

I don't wash my hair. I wash my hair. You're going to die twice a month. Twice a month? You're joking. No. By the way. I wash my hair twice a week, which I think is is not a lot.

Twice a month. But that is shocking. I don't wash my hair that often. Maybe once a week. Well, we're not talking. about your hair. You have completely different hair. It's good for your hair growth. It's good. That is, we're going to have to talk about this more. It's the best tip ever. Everyone is washing their hair. That's crazy. And you know what I do? So I cold plunge and I dunk my head under and then I just wash it out with water. I don't push shampoo. Oh, so you're getting your hair wet more than once in a month. I probably get it wet three or four times a month. But I'm washing it with soap and shampoo. I'm shocked right now.

You should talk to my hairstyle. He's, he's so like, I think I have a pretty good routine down. Twice a week, I think is the perfect. amount for your hair health. Okay. Talk to us about your hair, your beauty, all your tips. Oh, my goodness. Settling, my, no, my hair has been quite the journey. I started out with pretty good hair in high school and growing up, but then once I moved into the city and started experimenting with everything fashion related, I died my hair blonde, I bleached it.

I went baliage and gray and ashy blonde and I did all the things and I really damaged my hair in my 20s, like very much so. And then I had tried Nutriful. I tried Begamo. I tried all of the different pills. none of them worked for me. And then that's when I got introduced to Wow Bell, which like I feel like I could talk about well about this whole episode.

But it is the one supplement that I've ever found actually works. And a lot of people that make the switch from these other brands will say the same thing. Like I've never felt better. My hair, my skin, my nails, everything, like this glow from within that just happens with these supplements that were created. The doctor that created it is a gay man who decided to not wait for the right partner and has two kids on his own. He's incredible.

And he created the supplement for his sisters. his three sisters who had postpartum hair loss, alopecia Ariata from stress. And he was like, my sisters need a solution for their hair. And I'm going to create it. And he was my doctor at the time. He's like a Harvard triple board certified, incredible doctor. And he was like, Danielle, you need to take this. And he hands in me this little white bottle.

And it had no branding on it or it was like very sciencey or something bad at the time. And three months in I was like, whoa. I'm starting to see a huge difference. Got rid of my extensions. This was around COVID time. And I said, I'm going to be a part of this company, but we need to do a total rebranding. And now it's gone crazy. It's gone crazy. I've seen it everywhere. But you know, it was, they've never taken outside investment. So they're just growing on their own with community at the

focus. And it's really just been like such an incredible brand to be a part of because it helps people feel so much better about themselves. And it's really like beauty from within. And it has changed my confidence completely. Like I love my hair. And it's, and it's such a part of me now. And it's really helped me regain my confidence after so many years of damaging. When you're, looking at a deal to invest your own personal money. I think that you are the perfect person if a brand is listening. Tell them what you're looking for. I am looking for a company where I know that I can help you increase your revenue and really be a strategic partner for you. But I'm more so looking at a company who when you invest in a company, you really are investing in the founders. So I'm looking at

the founders like, are they hustlers? Do they know what they're doing? Are they smart? Are they, you know, humble enough to find the other right partners if, you know, to complement their strengths and weaknesses, like I said earlier. And I'm looking for companies that are profitable that are not throwing a shit ton of dollars into the influencer universe and waiting to see what sticks that are really purpose driven and that actually work. That's the whole thing. They have to actually work. Right. We both love Array. You love Array. Yeah. Love Array. Love Array. Love Siff. I was like, I want to be, I didn't invest. I would love to invest in her company. But they're a longtime partner of mine, and that's because it's a product that actually works. So it makes it so easy to talk about.

And the beauty I have as an influencer with a brand now is that the brand is like 90% of my revenue. So the influencer stuff is just the cherry on top. So I'm able to be very selective about my partnerships. That comes with my investments because my investments become my partnerships. And so I only want to work with companies that are actually making a difference in work. I have a question in relation to that a bit. When people come to you at this stage of your career that are aspiring to do what you've done or what Lawrence on. What are some of the things that you tell them that maybe you wish you knew earlier when it comes to putting your life out there like this? That's a tough question because I feel like the way I put myself out there over so many

different years taught me so much and help me grow up as a person and shape who I am. So do I wish somebody told me like, don't do this and don't do that? Maybe, but then I wouldn't be who I am today. I think that's a healthy way to look at it. But I guess if you were coaching someone, learning how to say no is probably one of the hardest parts of our career because you want to say yes to you know every tummy tea and whatever deal that comes your way but that is going to make you so much less authentic as an influencer and then you're not going to have longevity your your followers are not going to trust you also Ryan Holliday said something that I feel like very much applies to you is that he said when you put yourself out there and you start to gain fame and notoriety and

and influence, you start to get invited to all this stuff, right? Maybe you're invited to something political. Maybe like a movie star is doing something. You start to get invited to all these different things, but it sort of ends up taking your eye off the ball of why you started. So you have to have the ability to even say no to the bright, shiny things. It's not only just the money, I think. It's also the time.

Yeah. It's, I mean, there was a time in both of our careers where I'm sure we were going to every single event that we got invited to. I don't know if you were, I was for sure. And that's because it was so bright and shiny. And then I quickly, fortunately realized,

wait a second, I can't be everywhere. Not only is that not good for my brand image, but, you know, it's not good for my time, my time management. Like,

I need that time at night to not go to an event and maybe to a content plan for the next week or to work on something outside of, you know, my company and or to work on time for myself. So I think that,

you know, that learning went to say no, goes across so many different parts. If you can't be everywhere, it also makes the price go down. You know what I mean? It's better to like have a little scarcity, a little absence. Yes. A little mystery. It's easy to say that in a position of success. But I think in the early days, like we talked about this too. It's like in the early, we said yes to a lot. But I think later you got to,

it's almost countertitive later. Well, there was an aspect of networking. And a lot of the earliest parts of my success, I owe to being a fearless networker. And so a lot of going to those events allowed me to do that. And so I understand when a new influencer comes onto the scene and wants to go to all of those things while you have the energy to do it too. Like Godspeed. Let her hip. Let it rip. But eventually, you know, creating that scarcity is important. What is the behind the scenes of fashion week that we need to know about? Give us the real juicy details. It looks very different for me now as a brand owner. This season, I did my first ever fashion week presentation. And it looked really cool. It was so cool. I'm so happy I did it. I think it was the right time for We wore what to have that moment

at Fashion Week, especially since we were a see-now, buy-now, wear now presentation. Everything that you saw was basically launching that day or in the next like two months. Wait, that's so smart. So the consumer who was watching the show could buy it right away. And we invited consumers to the show, which was really important for me to include my community and fans and customers in that experience because like I said, being the perfect mix of relatable and aspirational, that relatable part of it, it's like come to this really cool fashion make presentation, but also you can buy everything. And guess what, it's all under $150.

Talk to us about the relatable and aspirational things. This has been a huge conversation on this podcast, relatability. Well, how do you think about both of them? I think that a lot of my followers, customers, whatever you want to call, our community, they've been following me for a long time. And so I have shared every apartment move, every time I bought myself a nice bag or have really grown in my success in my career and have taken my followers along on that journey. And that's the part that I think keeps me relatable because there's no way you can look at my lifestyle now and be like, that's relatable because it's not necessarily. But there are still parts of my life that I share with my followers that I know other people can relate to, like my breakup, like family dynamics,

like things in business that just happen and things don't always go the right way. And so just sharing vulnerable and remaining really transparent with everybody, I think, has kept me relatable. But of course, like, you know, I'm buying designer bags or I'm traveling on luxury vacations and I'm living in an inexpensive apartment. So that's the aspirational part of it. Why did you decide to talk about your breakup? What provoked that? It was a few weeks after we actually broke up. So I think it was something that I felt like because I had shared so much about it. I almost not owed it to my followers because I think that's a very unhealthy relationship to feel like you owe your follower or something. but they're my friends and I know they care about me and and most of them, right?

Not all of them. Yeah, I'm sure there's, we have all different kinds of. People that listen to the show, they love everything about us. They love you guys. No, there's not one person on the internet that says a negative one hater. You know what? You guys are just the best. That's not true.

If you go and look on the internet and you Google us, it just find nothing but love. Yeah, with a relationship and a breakup and like people that were always saying, oh, when are you going to get married? you're definitely getting engaged this weekend. And that even happens now with my new relationship. So I just felt like this was something that I was really struggling with and was figuring out my own way of how to move on and sharing that would not only help me to find and feel free of it, but to help other people as well, which in turn it did.

I think when it comes to this kind of topic about relatability and what you share and how people feel about it, I think it's important for anyone that's putting themselves out there to maintain Like you have an element where you're sharing a lot. But if you ever get to the point where you feel like those people have ownership over the way you live your life, I think that's a very difficult way to live. Yeah. So like for me, I've gotten in trouble on a positive. Like who aspires to relateability.

Like the whole thing is you want to everybody in life, you want to grow and you want to end up better than where you started. I think sometimes people have a difficult time watching someone as far as you've come or as far as Lawrence come because it started so humbly. Right. And it's gone so far. And I don't think that's not relatable. Like, I think that's very like that's the story. That's like the American dream. That's right. That's why anyone out there aspires to do anything. But I think where people get in trouble in your worlds is they try to say we're still relatable and we're still like everybody else all the time. The whole thing is like what you've done is you've actually become not like everyone else. There's still probably. You have to be self-aware enough to be like, listen, I know.

this is not relatable, but, you know, here I am still sharing everything because that's what I'm here to do. There's also a way to curate relatability, which I know, and I'm not going to name people, but we know these people that go and it's like, hey, like, this is I'm still, it's like, no, like, you're sharing a part that you think is going to resonate with you. Like, they're making millions of dollars a year, but they're pretending like they wake up at 11 a.m. and like they're in bed and like, it's just there's no, I think that's why your content resonates with entrepreneurs. Because you show the hustle. My perspective, because I'm not a quote-unquote influencer, creator and I'm more of an operator, like, I hope that people take from this like, hey, you can start with a gem of an idea or something small and you can turn it into something big. It takes a lot to do that. But what I don't want to do is like, hey, if you're just relatable all the time, then you're just going to, it's not, because it's not a realistic message for people that are trying to make something happen. Does that make sense? You just have to be real. That's it. It's so hard to come by in our industry. And, It's very refreshing when we can just be like, let's just be real with each other and with our audience. And that's what I try and do all the time. And hopefully people respond well to it. But, you know, you just have to stick to what is true to yourself. And it's so corny to say, but it's true.

You can see through long form content, you can see and you can hear who is sort of real and who is not. Yeah. I did a lot of long form content surrounding our fashion week event. I did a play on 70s out, which is a never. flick show. Did you ever see that? It was amazing. So cool. It shows like the Chanel fashion show or the 11 Madison Park seven days out from the opening or the show. It's really cool. So I did a behind the scenes raw footage. I said I want I want no editing like you just chop it up but I don't want any like voiceover. Is this fixing of things like no no filters? Just cut it up and show what the days look like each day five days out from our show. Show the stress. Show me in the bathroom getting ready. The things we had to deal with. Models canceled. This happened. Putting out fires, whatever it was.

And people responded really well to it. Now, I don't know if Instagram is the place for that long-form content. Like, I think it would have been nice if I did that to maybe launch a YouTube or some other platform I can't keep up with. But I think it was a really cool, authentic way to show the nitty-grady and the behind-the-scenes of planning something so major like that. I also think your content to me is a mix of you talking and visual. Like, I think because you're in fashion and the fits and everything, like, it's good to see it.

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That's first AIDB beauty.com slash skinny. Don't wait. Get 20% off with promo code Skinny. at first aid beauty.com slash skinny. Quick announcement, everybody that wants to get live in person, interact with people, have a good time. We are coming to New York. And when I say we, I mean Dear Media.

A lot of the companies coming out there. Dear Media does these amazing events called Dear Media IRL, which stands for in real life, where we have incredible lineups of the Dear Media hosts come out for a day of programming. We have activations. We have happy hours. It's really an awesome network. working event. It's also a great social event and we have a ton of fun. I also like to think that they're jam-packed with value. For example, this year, the lineup in New York, if you're out there

includes Amanda Hirsch, Taylor Strecker, Shannon Ford, Caroline Budino, Remy Cruz, Alicia Marie, Lauren, me, Whitney Port, Pia. We have an incredible lineup. Lindsay Metzler, Britney Xavier, like I said, it's just jam-packed. It's a day of incredible programming with incredible hosts and talent, and it's a great place to meet people and have, you know, just a really productive day. So with that being said, I want to make sure anyone that's in the New York area or that's been thinking about traveling to the New York area, Dear Media IRL should be on your list of things to do. It should be on your stop. It's something you should even plan a trip around. It takes place this year on November 2nd. And like I said, in New York, the last two we've done have been in Austin, Texas. So this is going to be the first time Deere Media does an IRL event in New York, Big Big City, and we're super excited about it.

So tickets are on sale right now. If you just go to DeerMedia.com slash IRL, you can find them there. They have all sorts of packages. hotel packages. But the tickets are going to go fast. So make sure you check it out. Again, that's DeerMedia.com slash IRL. We're just go to DeerMedia.com and you'll find it. And we'd love to see you out there. Lauren and I will both be there as well as some incredible hosts. See you there. As you know, Michael and I are very passionate about the charity I stand with my pack. They're a female-run nonprofit that's dedicated to saving animals and preventing cruelty. I support them wholeheartedly because I know every dollar goes to help. dogs in need. I have had the team on the show. I always post the dogs on Instagram who need a home

or need to be fostered or supported. So once a month, I will share a dog of the month. And today we have Murphy. He was saved from being euthanized. He's potty and crate trained. He loves people and dogs and enjoys cuddling with his foster brother. He also thrives in the midst of activity and he'd be a wonderful addition to any home. If you guys know anyone who's looking for a dog, please direct them to Murphy. You can go to Istandwithmypack.org and you can support Murphy or you can donate to I Stand With My Pack.

You can foster, you can adopt. Every contribution helps. That's Istandwithmipac.org. You can also follow them on Instagram at I Stand With My Pack. We get to talk to a lot of people and some that are much older and further than all of us, right?

And I remember, of all people, as Jillian Michaels came on the show and I was asking her about career longevity and she said, listen, And there's people that love me and people that hate me, but nobody is questioning where I stand or who I am. Like, she's so authentically herself. And she's, and I think I took from that, like, if you're going to have any kind of longevity putting yourself out there as a creator or a public person or whatever, it's really hard to fake it for a long time. Like, you might as well just throw it. Oh my God. Could you imagine 13 years of faking it? No. And so I know at any given time, I was joking about like people, everyone love it. Like, I know there's people out there that can't. fucking stand me. Of course. I can't stand, Lord. And I know there's, yeah, but my thing is,

like, I don't have the personal energy to try to curate and pretend and try to do this. Like, I have to just be who I am. And the world's a big place. Some we're going to like it. Some we're not. Yeah. Talk to us about your egg freezing journey. Ooh, okay. Change of subject. A little change of subject. Sorry, Michael. Yeah. No, my egg freezing journey was a personal decision that I made for myself after my last breakup, you know, I learned very quickly that like, we plan and God laughs. And I was, I'm a planner. Okay. I'm planning out years in advance for myself. And I had always planned on being married and having kids at a certain age. And so it was a wake up call for me to really realize that like, this was no longer in my control. And I just needed to focus on being the best

version of myself that I could be at that time. And so I didn't want to have the pressure of kids and my biological clock weighing on my relationship decisions. And so I decided to freeze my eggs and had to go through the egg freezing around twice, which was really difficult, really hard on the body. And I decided to document that version because I felt like I didn't know anything about it going into it because people talk about it, but really not as much as they should. And so I wanted to share everything I was learning about the process, document my journey so that I could help teach other people and help normalize something that felt so hush, hush for so long. Like I remember, you know, I have friends or families who have frozen their eggs and they

kept it a secret. And they kept it a secret from their friends and they kept it a secret from family. And I was like, why? This is, this is something women should be talking about. This is something that gives us security, insurance, gives us a future with being able to have children. And so I felt really great about my decision. I planned it.

It was about two months of my life that I was going through it. And I'm so happy I did it. I really am because now I have that as a, I don't need to rush to make any decisions about my life partner. I don't need to feel the pressure. Even though I want to be a young mom, I do. Like I'd be lying if I said I didn't. All my friends have kids or a lot of them do.

But it's not going to affect my decision. And I'm not going to force anything or move life faster than it's supposed to because of that now. Did your followers respond well to you, Yes, I think that because I didn't have a medical reason to do it besides the fact that I'm 32 years old and, you know, your biological clock and all of that, some people were like, well, you're very privileged that you're able to do this, which I fully acknowledged and was always very self-aware of because it is an expensive process, right? You're like, oh, another thing. But I was very aware of that and very sympathetic towards it that this was a choice I was making. It wasn't something I had to do. but 99% of people responded so well to it and were thankful that I shared and they learned so much from it and encouraged. I actually froze my eggs alongside one of my best friends, Julia. And we shared like best friends freezing our eggs together. And so a lot of RMA, who's the facility I did it with with Dr. Lucky, they told me that a lot of best friends are coming in together now and freezing their eggs at the same time and being that emotional support for each other.

Hold on. If I freeze my fucking eggs, I would like Dr. Lucky to be, that's good energy. That's a real name? Yeah, Dr. Lucky. She's incredible. Dr. Lucky is her name? She's incredible. She's the best.

I recommend her to anyone. What do you think it is about you that strikes such a nerve with people? Meaning, like, you're telling, I'm listening to you. I don't know you that well. I'm looking at this long as we've talked. And you're saying you share this journey. And there's a segment of people that are upset and screaming about you about your post as saying like, wow, that's really nice of you to share and document and give other people.

Like, what do you think it is that strikes such a nerve about what you're doing in you? I don't know. If you could tell me, that would be great. I think it's a confidence. I think she's really confident and maybe that can be polarizing. Yeah, definitely that. I can come off strong and confident, almost cocky sometimes, which is not how I mean to come off, but it's inherently what happens. And I just think I have this much softer side of me that people don't really know about that maybe it's because I don't share enough of it. Maybe it's my own fault. But, you know, you just can't have three plus million followers and be in the public eye and not have haters. It just comes with the territory. Yeah, but your territory, you get a lot of, like I'm aware, like I said, I've been

aware of you and known you for, I mean, there's a few people that I'm actually not as aware of a lot of, there's so many new people. Right. But early days, you know, there was not a lot of people like you and Lauren that were doing this kind of thing. And it was also an, it was a period of time where people maybe didn't take the space seriously. They're like, imagine you remember like, hey, how does this work, prove it. Yeah. Like it's, you know,

you're nuts if you're not paying attention what's going on here. But you in particular, like, for whatever reason, you do rile the internet up.

I do, yeah. Don't you think it's kind of funny? Like, be honest. Come on, what's the real comments? To me, I mean, every day.

You can't take it so seriously. I don't, which is why I'm able to be. I get so much hate on every, I pronounce words wrong. I say stuff wrong. People get mad. I said the other day

something about soy and boys. Everyone got mad. I mean, I'm to the point where I just don't give a fuck anymore. Yeah. I'm just like, this is who I am. That's how I am. If you don't like it, change the channel. But that's come with age and maturity and just being more confident in who I am on the

inside, not just like this confidence that you see portrayed that you said could be polarizing. And so I don't really know exactly what it is. But anyone that meets me that takes the time to get to know me is like, oh, wow, I didn't, I didn't know you were like that. And they're kind of almost surprised by it, which I'm like, that's why I wrote a book in the first place, which like, you know, I. I thought would give people more of an inside look as to who I am and my upbringing and why I am the way that I am. But, you know, going through a divorce at a really young age and how hard I had to become and emotionally strong I had to become so early on.

So, yeah, I don't think there's like a really like perfectly clear answer. I just think that it's something that, you know, I always used to say like haters mean you're doing something right. So you can't, you can't do what you do with that. You got to just have that attitude and keep on moving on. It gets the news up. What's the quote? Was it, um, was it Mark Freeman? or Oscar Wilde? Maybe this one. It's like the only thing worse than being talked about is not

being talked about. Totally. Yeah, to a certain extent for sure. I got that quote. It's a similar purpose. Don't worry. The internet, I'll tell you. Um, uh, burnout. How do you avoid burnout? I think that this is, you're the perfect person to ask this question to. What are the things that you do? I don't get burnout often. Okay. And I don't know how. But, you know, this past or a week, two weekends ago, I went upstate with my boyfriend. friend and I turned my phone off for the weekend and deleted the Instagram app. Or I didn't delete it actually. I moved it off my home screen, which was really important. And it was a little scary to me because I found how often I was opening my phone and pressing this spot that was empty. And I was like, ooh, yeah,

it's time for a break. So it was 48 hours. And just taking that break off social media, taking some time outside of the city to just like connect with nature as cheesy as that sounds actually really worked really well for me. What are the healthy habits that you're applying to this new relationship that seems like it's the one to me? Constant communication. Okay. Being really good at communicating and checking in with each other. You know, keeping the fun alive, date nights and prioritizing each other, prioritizing trips away just the two of us, as much as we love a good, good fun group trip. And the thing that my boyfriend and I have bonded over so much is our importance of family. And he has a really close family and

I have a really close family. And so we've brought our families together a lot. And that brings us so much joy. And so really like becoming a bigger family together has been something that has made us so close and really see a future together. How do you balance your friends in the city? With all you're doing, is that difficult to balance friends? I like to say, and I've always said, it's great to have a gaggle of friends. And I read this book a long, long time ago called the gaggle. And it just means that you have lots of different pockets of friends. And they don't have to be one big friend group and they don't have to all serve the same purpose. Like you can have your therapist friend. You can have your going out party friend. You can have your friend that you grab to go with

you to an event or to be your wing woman somewhere, your friend that you call just to talk about your feelings, whatever it is. But you don't have to have just like one group of friends, especially in New York City because it's so easy to bop around. And so I have a ton of different friends. I have really close high school friends and childhood friends. I have my city friends, my friends that are from the industry, but not totally, but that we can go to events together and really feel like we're not at a work event. And that to me has been kind of how I've found my way throughout the city. And then my boyfriend is three years younger than me. And when we first started dating, I thought, oh, I don't know if I'm going to be able to be friends with his friends because they're

younger than me. And I'd always dated older guys. And I like some of my closest friends like Melissa is 10 years older than me. And I loved having older friends because I felt like I was, you know, always older than my age. But I have found ways to relate with a lot of people. And I'm a very trust until proven otherwise person, which in my position is sometimes has, you know, not been good. But, you know, I like to trust people and I like to think the best in people still, even after all the things that I've been exposed to in my position. But I think that it's just been fun. I like, I like going out meeting new people, experiencing new things. What do you do with friendships where you were friends with someone and you've kind of gotten this fame and spotlight? And it's hard for them.

you just kind of like, yeah, you have to cut out the bullshit in your life and the, the people that not aren't serving you, but that that don't bring a positive energy around you. And so I have had to end friendships where there wasn't that positive energy and that it didn't, it wasn't a hundred percent supportive and maybe there was jealousy or maybe there was, you know, whatever it was. But I think that, you know, you have to just surround yourself with good people that make you feel good and that help keep you grounded as well. I think, especially with newer friends, you have to make sure that they're looking past just that career side, the we were what side. And once you find those real people, like, I think it's still possible in our position to make adult friends that are close.

What's the coolest thing that you've ever done? Wow. That's something, that's a crazy question. You've done. What's the coolest thing you've ever done? Yeah, what is the cool thing you've ever done? You go first. What's the coolest thing I've ever done? Probably, I mean, that's, that's, that's, That is a hard question. Probably interview incredibly interesting people. As you're going to say, like, have our children. Yeah. That's what I thought you were going to say.

That's the obvious answer. That's too obvious. We jumped out of a plane together one time. No, that's not the coolest thing I've ever done. I hate to break it to you. No, that was not. What do you think the coolest thing I've ever done is?

Yeah, you do. He's known to me since he's 12. What's the coolest thing I've ever done? It's not a PR pitch. I'm trying to think of the coolest thing I've ever done. I've gotten into travel to so. That's what I mean. Whether you want to include this or not, I don't care.

I've got it to travel to so many amazing, cool places, Africa, all over the world for my work. So that's really cool. But writing a book and having it become a New York Times bestseller, those career, the career accomplishments, I think are part of the coolest things I've ever done. My problem is I'm always disappointed with everything I do. That's cool. Because you experience stress. I always think it's going to be better than it is. And then I get there and I'm like, oh. No, you're constantly editing. You just can't be in the most. You build up the hype too much. It's called the saber tooth tiber. Anywhere we go, he's looking for the saber tooth tiger. He's looking for where it is. I'm like, just,

enjoy the moment. You know what it is? What's in my brain about what the experience will be, even if it's a great experience. And then I get there, I'm like, oh, it's not as good as what I thought. So what does it been like to be married to me? Because that's been the polar opposite. It's the coolest thing I've ever done, Lauren. The coolest thing you've ever done is marry this. Yeah. You should be so much. This podcast right now. I think people, I'd rather like go through life pleasantly surprised than constantly disappointed. I don't think you're in a position to be that way, though. What do you mean? Like, it's just not our reality because I don't think I would just walk around, like, being pleasantly surprised by things.

I have high expectations for everything. So now I have very low expectations of everything. So we should have low expectations before you're joining us on this. No, I don't want to have, I don't want that either. I don't like that. I like high expectations. Meaning like, okay, say I want to go. I'll just say like, okay, I want to go to a restaurant, a date.

It's going to be like, I've read all. It's going to be the greatest thing. And then it's like, if it's not. Oh, I'm sending you guys to corner store. What's corner store? New restaurant that just open. Anyways, what I was saying is I build it up too much in my mind. Yeah.

Why do this in dating. Can you give the audience and us selfishly some tips to New York City? What are the like places that no one's looking? Oh. Ooh. You know what? I'm actually not the person to ask this anymore. Okay.

I love New York and I will tell you lots of cool things to do in New York. But I have become more of a homebody and a members club girl. So I don't really go. I'll try new restaurants and stuff. But like people like, where do I go out? And I'm like, ask my Gen Z employees because they know everything. And they're way cooler than I am. And they help keep me cool.

Sophia's got to give us a list. Sophia knows all the places. I mean, we just went to this cowboy bar in Brooklyn called Desert Five. I think you have one in L.A., actually. And it's sick. It was so much fun. I love country music. Okay.

You guys got to come to Austin. Yeah, Austin. Sorry. You're in L.A. You're in L.A., right? Yeah. Well, what's it called in Austin? Desert Five.

Oh, no, it's not in Austin. It's an L. Oh, it's in L. Beauty questions. You have a million bars like that. These are rapid fire. Okay. And you give us products.

if you have your favorite skincare hack? Literally, I don't wash my face. Ever. What do you mean? We have makeup on. I barely wash my face. I use a Nutrizona makeup wipe, which I know is like a no-no. But there are some people that just naturally have good skin, whether it's like the

well, but whatever it is, I don't really use that many makeup products. I use a hyloronic, or that many skincare products. I use a hyluronic serum or I use a moisturizer, but that's it. Hold on. How do you wash the makeup off your face? I use a makeup wipe and then I splash water. Okay. I like the truth in that.

Then I get you to try a Korean oil cleanser. For sure. I'll try anything. I'll try anything. You're going to think I'm fucking crazy. Is the makeup wipe is pulling your skin down unless, and maybe you do this, you're pulling it up as you do it. So the only thing you really pull when you're using a makeup wipe is your eyes for the mascara. So I always go up and then I rub up here versus down here.

That's acceptable. But no, I don't have some elaborate skin. routine like people think. Okay. I thought you were going to pull out like a full makeup products. I'll share with you. Okay. Yeah, give us some makeup products. I can't wait. Yeah. Where's my bag? People love to see what's in your bag and you have to tell us what the bag is and what all the different things are. I'm glad I brought a good bag. I didn't know the bag was going to be shown. Yeah, the bag's going to be shown. Tell us each detail so Michael can take notes. Okay. What is in my bag? Okay. So I have my Romargo bag, which I'm obsessed with.

I feel like it's going to be a good investment too in the future, huh? I think so too. I mean, it's such nice quality and it's big and I like the suede. Okay. Is it suede? Yeah, it's suede. Okay. Mofi. Okay.

Charger. Always need that. Mini hairbrush. You never leave without a mini hairbrush. Should I just pile these on? Michael, get excited. All right. All right.

We love array bloat pills. I have blotting papers from clean and clear, like just drugstore brand. Love it. So easy. I have my little makeup bag. So this is like I always bring a few products out with me. This is my blush that I talk to. about my two lip liners, wherever walnut and anywhere caffeine from makeup forever.

Oh, Tom Ford lip blush. It's like a clear lipstick that I'm obsessed with. So instead of a gloss, I use this. Okay. A little less, it's not sticky. And then Fentis and Vizumet. Yeah, super good. Bethany Frankel says if you don't carry a clear plastic bag with your makeup in it in

your bag and you let it go all around your bag, you're a psychopath. Yeah. There's like some some lipstick. 16s in here from that. Okay. A scrunchy. Okay. A new scrunchy.

A tampon from Kora. Love it. Cora is a really good tampon brand. My little vintage camera. Do you actually use that? Yeah, we use it for photo shoots a lot. Okay. So one of someone on my team where I always have one.

She reminds me so much. I just realized who it is. Sorry, I have to pause and say this. Your sister. Tara. Yeah, they're a similar. Oh my God. I've been trying to figure out this whole episode.

She's gorgeous. She looks like her. I want to see. I'll show you after. Go ahead. Sorry. Car clip. Okay.

My wallet, which I don't know why I have it today. Well, Bell. And sunglasses. That's it. Love it. Oh, I have Listerine in here in my keys as well. That is what is in Danielle's bag of We wore what. Where can everyone find you?

Tell us where we can buy your book, your clothing. Tell us the... Oh, my gosh. You have to tell us what the product, not, I guess, what the item in your line that you would buy if you could buy one thing. I mean, everything I'm wearing right now is We Were What, besides my St. Laurent shoes. The jacket is? Yeah, this is coming out. It'll be out by the time this comes back.

The jacket, I literally thought was St. Laurent. Yeah. Thank you. That was the goal. It looks regal. It's really nice. Thank you. You know what it is? It's the fit and the scrunch. It's going to be like $130 this jacket. Wow, you guys, I would say the jacket. It's cool. Yeah, the jeans are mine too, these relaxed baggy jeans, which are great. The white t-shirts are. Yeah, the jacket's great. It's a beautiful color, too. I appreciate that. Burgundy is the color for fall. Okay. So where can everyone shop? Where can they find the jacket? Everything on WeWore What?

We Were What.com. My book is called This is Not a Fashion Story, but keep in mind, I wrote it when I was 25, so it would be a very different book if it came out now. Well, you have to write another one. For sure. You're welcome to come back on the show anytime. Oh, you guys are good at you. Thank you for doing this.

Danielle gave you the code skinny. So go use the code skinny for 20% off at we wore what.com. You get sitewide, including the new leather and outerware collection that launches today. I highly recommend checking out all of her leather. It's so major. It looks so plush and expensive in person. Go to we wore what.com and use code skinny for 20% off.