The Bossticks - Dr. Phil McGraw & Robin McGraw On Current Events, Success, & The Secret To A Healthy Marriage

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

#439: On today's episode we are joined by Dr. Phil McGraw & Robin McGraw. Many listeners may be familiar with Dr. Phil and Robin from their world renowned show, Dr. Phil. Today the power couple join us to discuss how their career and marriage got started, secrets to success, current events, and the impact of the times we are living in.  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Better Help We want you to start living a happier life today. Get connected online to licensed therapists at accessible prices to make sure yu are taking care of your mental health. As a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at www.BetterHelp.com/skinny This episode is brought to you by Zocdoc No one knows what you're looking for in a doctor better than you. And no one's better at giving you the tools to find the perfect doctor than Zocdoc. Zocdoc is a FREE app that shows you doctors who are patient-reviewed, and take your insurance. Search for a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Go to www.Zocdoc.com/skinny and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.search for a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hoursand are available when you need them. This episode is brought to you by Athletic Greens Right now, it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition — especially heading into the flu and cold season! It's just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That's it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health. To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit www.athleticgreens.com/skinny Produced by Dear Media 

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Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. So that means you go back into the fourth grade. you're now going to be really frustrated because you can't handle this, so you're going to fall behind. That gap's going to widen each year that goes by, and as kids get frustrated, then they basically turn away, and so the dropout rate goes up. When the dropout rate goes up, then that means they get lesser quality jobs. And when you get lesser quality jobs, then you have higher risk because you're doing more manual labor, which is more dangerous, so you have more injuries. you also have lesser quality insurance

and the years of life lost because of this is going to show up 30 or 40 years from now get excited about your life if you're going to talk to me you're going to have to be honest stand by Dr. Phil this is going to be a changing day

in your life welcome back everybody welcome back I'm trying to act Not so excited about this intro on this episode. That clip was from our guests of the show today, Dr. Phil McGraw and Robin McGrath. And we just had fucking Dr. Phil on the show, learned. You know what? They are a power couple.

I am such a fan of Robin and her podcast. She gives so many good beauty tips and tricks. She reached out to me to be on her podcast. You have to check it out. We talked about all the girly things. And then we connected to do a power couple interview on Dr. Phil and Robin. And let me tell you guys, you know, just when you think you have everything figured out, you don't. Let me tell you a story here.

We've been doing this podcast for a little while now, with six years. And now with the podcast, we obviously have this business dear media that's up and running and thriving. And we have all these great studios. And one day we said, okay, we're going to actually, we're going to have Dr. Phil in the studio. So we bring him in. This is a true story, by the way. And, you know, I consider myself somewhat of a high achiever. So bear with me here.

Dr. Phil comes in the studio with his lovely wife. We bring him in. Our studio feels like a fucking inferno. It feels like we're in literal hell. It's burning. The AC's broken. We're dying. I am just like, Dr. Phil is pissed.

I know he was pissed. Our producer, Taylor, was like, it's not hot in here. His upper lip is sweating. It's perspiring. He's like shit dripping down his face. He looked like he just jumped out of a swimming pool. So I said, okay, don't worry. We're dear media.

We're professional. We've been doing this for a while. We got another studio, studio two. Just got it up and rolling. It's got a little bit of couch seating, a little different. But it's going to be professional. We got the cameras and everything. So we start recording again with Dr. Phil,

who arguably one of the biggest interviewers of all time. And he had been doing this for a while. And Lauren's mic goes out. And so I'm sitting here and I'm trying to keep it together. But again, we're doing. He was fucking losing it. Yes, I'm losing it. I had to finesse the energy.

And Taylor is looking like a deer in headlights. And then the rest of the team comes in. Taylor's getting clammy. And they're scrambling around. He's about to throw up. So again, we're there. We're shooting the show. shit with Dr. Phil and his wife Robin and, you know, basically my life's falling apart.

The studios are falling apart. I feel like I want to go hide in a hole. But eventually we get back and recording and we're going and going. And then the cameras fall down. They literally fall down like a floppy old dick. They just flopped down. And I'm sitting there like, oh my God, of all the guests and of all the people, it's Dr. Phil and his wife. You know what, though? I will say this is one of my favorite interviews that we've done because I really think we got to see a different side of both of them. And we opened up on all different topics. It's a plethora. It's a medley. You don't know what you're going to get out of this episode. I think you guys are going to be obsessed with it. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It's a long story short. I think we salvaged it.

I think we salvaged the interview. I think we salvaged the relationship. We had a great time. We had a great conversation. Went in a lot of different places. With that, Dr. Phil, Robin, thank you for coming on the show. I'm so sorry for the malfunctions. But we had a blast. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. But Joe is great. He is brilliant. He's a smart guy. He's brilliant.

And it's so much fun. Yeah. He's a very, very, very, very fun. The way he interviews is really cool. Yeah, I really like Joe. He's a great guy. Taking a tangent, I mean, like, obviously he's so in the press now, but I tend to agree with you. I think he's one of the greatest interviewers of our generation, of our time right now.

And especially you, you know, obviously have such a deep background. Being interviewed by him, how did you feel about it? Well, of course, I know, Joe. So I recognize he's really multifaceted. And he's been around a long time. I remember back in a Fear Factor days when he did Fear Factor. And the thing I think that makes Joe really unique is, one, he has a courage to say anything that he's thinking about. But he has a genuine curiosity about human nature.

And he truly is interested in so many things. And so he asks the question that the listener wants to ask. He asked the next question to people. Yeah, but then what about? And because he has such a natural curiosity and is so intelligent, he really digs in to these issues and asks great questions. Yeah, and I think he can get to places that people are scared to go because of that curiosity. Yeah, and he's a comedian.

And so he's very disarming with people. And it's a great combination. and he's a very sincere guy. He comes across sometimes as kind of brash and irreverent, but the fact of the matter is, he's a very sincere and caring guy. Well, you touch on it, and I think about it. It's like you're doing a three-hour show,

pulling 40 seconds or 15 seconds from a three-hour out of show. You're a little bit out of context sometimes. Yeah, but he's really a thoughtful guy and does his homework, and he's really a caring guy. Robin, you were saying earlier that you wanted to add something to what you had said about marriage. Can you tell us that little bit so we can add it back? I was saying that you ask me what it's like to actually have a doctor in the marriage.

And it's part of the couple. And I said, well, that doesn't really make a difference in our marriage because I have told him from very early on. Don't ever doctor fill me. You're not allowed to doctor fill me. And then what I wanted to add was unless I asked you to. So in 45 years, has he doctor filled you? Oh, no, no, no, because he's really. really good at listening.

Like, you know, he gave me that one practice test when he was at school, and I didn't really even get through it. I was like a nervous wreck. Why do you think you're so good at listening because of your background as a doctor, or do you think it's something that you practice every day? You know, personality-wise, it's like I'm basically a very shy person socially. Really? It's true. Yeah. I mean, my, if I go to hell,

it will be a cocktail party. It'll be an endless cocktail party where I have to stand on bad knees and talk about shit I don't care about. But I... Pull that clip, Taylor. I'm the last one. If people are in a crowd

and they're kind of talking and, you know, weighing in on stuff, I'm the last one to give my opinion or offer advice. I always have been. I mean, I can think all the way back to high school. I'm the last one to ever render an opinion. I don't, and it's the same way on Dr. Phil.

We don't stop cars out on Melrose and say, you know, how are you feeling? Would you like some advice? I only weigh in if people ask, and, you know, our average guest writes in. I think the average is 22 to 25 times before they ever actually get on the stage to sit down and have a conversation. I'm not proud of that. It's just, you know, it's tens of thousands of letters. It's hard to get through and get there. But I don't inject myself into situations unless somebody really asks my opinion.

So if your wife asks you, you'll give her an opinion. Yeah, of course. If she asks, I'll tell her what she wants me to think. Yeah. Yeah, like sometimes I'll say, I just need one word. I'm so, like, perplexed about this. person or the situation. Just give me just one word. Robin, I could see why you and Lauren get along. I told you. I told you. I said, I'm so inspired by your marriage. I like, I love.

I told you. You are really, I think, such a great counterpart. I agree. Thank you. I think that you've really helped in, I want to say, but the way, the way you guys have had success seems very synergistic. I agree with you. I have to say I agree with you because I so get him. Yeah. And I adore him. I think he's brilliant. So I feel like I'm like bragging on myself, but that's not it.

It's just that I'm doing him a favor by saying, don't doctor feel me because I'm not going to like you if you do that. So I'm doing you a favor. Don't doctor feel me because that's going to upset me. I don't need the real truth right now. So how, as both of your successes grew, how did you help to support and manage the relationship? Like, what were some tools that you used? Well, especially because you've built an iconic brand, right? Like, just off of you, right?

Like, I mean, for, you know, a very long period of time. So I imagine that, especially as a young couple that's starting out and dating and then to go through this kind of like, like, wild. Tadrectory. I wouldn't say that we together, built a brand from day one. The way I look at it is we, like, I never went to work with him until we moved here and he started the doctor, he started the doctor film show.

So like, we didn't really work together. And I don't really feel that we even work together now because he's the one doing all the work. The only reason I'm really at the show every day is because. On that very first show, we were here creating a whole new life. This was a whole new life we together decided to do. We were in Texas. I was running the house, taking care of raising the children.

I was stay-at-home mom. Our oldest son had just graduated and was at UT. So we were down to just our youngest son, Jordan. And we made the decision with Jordan to relocate from Texas, leave the only home he ever knew, you know, and so this is a whole new life. So we are out here, got his first show, and I'm there to support him.

So I thought, oh, this is great. And I went to support him and the show, of course. And so that first show ended, and they did not come up with a way for him to actually end the show. He signed off, said, thank you, blah, blah, blah. And then I'm sitting there, and he just looked at me and walked. walked over said come on walk off with me let's talk about it what did you think and his executive

producer carlo pinnington who's brilliant has been with them since day one uh said keep the cameras rolling keep rolling because she noticed that when the minute he walked out to me he was no longer just dr phil he was now a husband and the host of the show because he took my hand we walked off and we started talking, oh, you were great. That was awesome. I loved it. What did you think? And we walked off. And so she wanted that to be a part of the show. And so she, she, we walked off and went backstage and she's coming from the control room. And she said, it's almost like my sleepless in Seattle moment when he reached down and took her hand. And she said, can you come to every show? And I was like, oh, well, Jordan, our youngest, was only 15.

didn't even have his driver's license. I said, well, if we can work it around carpool, I have to take our son to school. And that's how that happened. And it has evolved into, I'm there every day for every show. And so after 20 years, but it's like he's the brand, but you're the support system. I'm the support system. What does it look like in the bedroom? What does it look like behind closed doors when the cameras are off and he's just Phil at home and you guys are having conversation about work and business. It seems like you, like I said, you guys really work together well behind the scenes too.

So what you see at the show in front of the camera is as the couple, it's pretty much the same thing at home because I'm there to support him and my role has evolved into what you see is me, the wife, the woman, the mother, the grandmother. If I'm involved in a show, it's me. It's authentically me. The woman, the wife, the mother, the grandmother. What does it look like when you guys are first starting out? There's a lot of

millennials that are listening to this that, you know, want to get into something like you guys are both doing. Was there a lot of struggle when you first started? Are you saying as when we were first married or here? As a self-proclaimed shy guy, what's the draw to television and how do you even start entertaining those that pursuit. I have to modify some of what she said, I'm afraid. I know where he's going. Well, no, I think she's being a little humble about her role in the show. Yeah, she what a guy. We did just kind of walk off together. That's true. And that wasn't planned. But you know, I'm all about just you know, I don't have a screvee. or anything ever.

Because I don't know what they're going to say, so I have no idea what I'm going to say, unless I know what they say, because it's all an interaction. So it has to be pretty spontaneous. And so I've finished the show, and it's time to leave. I'm not going to walk past my wife like I don't know her just because we're on TV.

That's bullshit. I'm leaving. I'm taking her with me, you know? So I go by her chair, so I get her and we leave. though, that's just, I'm not going to pass by her just because the cameras are rolling. But anybody that thinks she's there to just sit in the audience every day would miss the real meat of the situation. You know, Robin's kind of the feminine side of my sensibilities. Look, I grew up as a jock and an athlete. I played football in grade school, junior high, high school,

in college and I had three sisters, but they were kind of nutty. So I was very isolated growing up. I mean, really, I came and went from my bedroom window, so I didn't have to go through the house because it was so chaotic. Chaotic in what kind of way? Oh, my dad was a violent alcoholic, and my sister started getting married at 14. Wow. It was just a chaotic, violent.

And they're older or younger than you? Two older and one younger. Okay. I say they had us in pairs. They had the two nutty ones, and then they had the two of us. And so I can remember even 11 or 12 thinking they had to have mixed me up at the hospital. I don't fit in with these people at all. And I haven't had a drink in over 50 years.

I don't, you know, I watched what this did to our family and stuff. So I even, I was a designated driver before that was even a thing, you know. And so there's certain things I wasn't real sensitized to, and she is. So she's been a great touchstone for the feminine side of issues. And I'll be preparing a show and she'll go, I don't think you want to say that. And so she's a great. You know, she's a great kind of, you know, you might think about this point of view, even though that may be clinically sound, you might want to present that differently. So she's great touchstone in that regard.

She's also passionately involved with foster children and domestic violence and has become one of the most prominent ambassadors in the fight against domestic violence over the last 20 years, has testified on Capitol Hill in that regard, has written three. number one New York Times bestsellers. You know, she talks like she's... Talk about how it started. But she talks like she's just sitting out there watching the show. She's not the case. Yeah, that's not the case. She's been, you know, very much a part of Dr. Phil

and a big part of its success. And, you know, we're... The number one show after 20 years is the most unheard-of thing you've ever heard of. And that's a team. You know, that's not just me. That's a team. I've got the same executive producer after 20 years and the turnover executive producers for startups.

I want to ask you about that because, like, being in this, all these shows, they come and go. You've done this for so long. What do you think makes an effective production team? And, you know, obviously we've seen all this stuff impressed with what they call, I guess, toxic work cultures. But you guys have had this unit for so long. What do you think the secret there is? Well, this is fitting for this episode.

let me tell you about a Zoc Doc. Okay, recently we moved to Austin from L.A. And one thing that has been difficult, not anymore, though, was finding the right doctor. I had to find a doctor for Michael, for me, and obviously for the baby. That was number one on my Ivy Lee priority list. And what I did is I used Doc Doc. So it has everything you need to know at your fingertips. On this free app, you get the quality doctor's intro, you get the booking intro, and you get the insurance intro. So it's very much streamlined. You can read up on local doctors. You can get verified patient reviews. This was important because sometimes I feel like you Google stuff. And the doctor has like been paid to be bumped up to the top. With Doc Doc, it doesn't do that. You can see what other real humans had to say about their visit.

So you're actually reading real reviews. So when you walk into the doctor's office, you're set up to see someone in your network who gets you. I found this to be so important with our move. This like I said was the number one thing. So if you're you want to find a doctor in your area in an efficient, seamless way at your fingertips, you are going to go to Zoc doc.com, that's Z-O-C-D-O-C-C-com, and you just choose a time slot and whether you want to see the doctor in person or even do a video visit. I did a video visit for something the other day and it was wild. So you can find the doctor that's right for you and book an appointment that works for your schedule. Go to ZocDoc.com slash skinny and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then start your search for a top of

doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. That's Z OCDOC.com slash skinny. Zuckdoc.com slash skinny. Oh, and I'm sure somebody will decide to make it my turn in the barrel and generate some story that sells newspapers. We've been tabloid fodder for many years. I think it's really recognizing that it's a team. I'm as good as who you put in front of me. One log won't burn. And, you know, you put me out there with somebody staring at me like a dead trout, hell my mother wouldn't watch that. You've got to have interesting people to talk about something that, you know, is compelling. And, you know, I talk about things that matter to people who care.

And you can't do that if you're just out there lecturing. It's got to be interactive and relatable. And I've got the same cameraman I started with 20, years ago. But seven cameramen, 20 years ago, I got the same seven guys. One of them passed away. I had a heart problem just a few years ago and passed away. But other than him, we've had the same crew for seven years, same director, same executive producers, same supervisors, same everybody for 20 years. You know, a lot of people will say, oh, it's like a family. It truly, it's true. I mean, it has to be at that point for that long. I mean, we've known Taylor here since we were 12. So

when he has these camera malfunctions, I take him in the back and just beat him a little bit. But no, I mean, I get it. It is like a family. I mean, this guy, Taylor, like, I mean, he's been with us. He was at our wedding. He's been, like, we went to middle school together. It's, you know, it's just been like a whole important. Like one of our directors, John Perry, I know the first couple of weeks we were shooting.

They had just had a baby. Yes. And had any time of himself, Robin babysat the baby so they could go out. Oh, yeah. The first couple of weeks and that child's in college. Wow. They've been there. Bill wrote letters.

That long. So we've really watched these people and they've come to work at the same place on the Paramount Lot for 20 years. And so, and they say, you know, we've been able to put our kids in school, buy houses, grow up, our families, all like real people, you know, instead of working 13 weeks. and then being out of a job. And so everybody, I've always said it's a situation where money is paid, but it's not about the money. They really get involved with the people, with the stories, with the work that we do.

And so it's a passion. It's not just to go through the motions job. And she's an integral part of that. There's no question about it. With how much success both of you have had, it's really unbelievable to me. and I met you on your show first, how down to earth you are. You know, and sometimes that can be rare in L.A. That's such a compliment.

Thank you. How do you maintain that? Is that a conversation that you have? Is it something you think about? Like, you're very, I don't know, approachable. Thank you. And again, that's a huge compliment. And I think we just answered because we can honestly say we truly appreciate each other.

We appreciate what we have. and I don't know I can't imagine being any other way it's just who we are do you ever get burnt out or both of you get burnt out on like the Dr. Phil persona because it's been such a long time you know we've done this for six years

it's not nearly as long and nearly the scale but you're just wondering how you process that you know we've developed a cycle and I think you you develop something that works for you like we take two shows a day, three days a week. And then in theory, I have a four-day weekend every week. I don't think I've

ever had a four-day weekend because there's other media to do or you go do a news story or whatever. And then we tape three weeks on and then a week off. And that cycle, I can always tell when I'm in the third week on the second or third day of the week where I'm kind of looking at the door, like I'm kind of ready to take a little bit of a break. And it's not from doing the show. It's from doing all the prep because I get a notebook for every show that's about 250 pages and it's all of their backstory because I do, we get a longitudinal history, a cross-sectional history, a medical history, we talk to collaterals, we get all this information because, you know, I feel like if somebody's going to fly across the United States, come on to that stage,

put everything out there in front of everybody. they deserve two things. One is for me to do my homework before they get there. And two, they shouldn't leave guessing at where I stand. So I need to be prepared

and take a clear position on what I think and what they should do. And, you know, Robin will tell you, I'll tape during the day and I'll come home, play tennis for a couple hours, grab something to eat,

and I'll spend six or seven hours a night preparing for the shows. And so it's not doing the show so much as it is the prep time. I'm ready to take a break from, you know, preping six, seven hours a night. Is there a set of criteria or something? Like to get on the doctor, Phil Schover,

you get so many submissions, I imagine so many people are writing in. What is it that intrigues you or says, okay, this is somebody that's worth bringing on or somebody that's worth helping? Well, I approach that two different ways. First is exclusion criteria.

There are certain people that we just won't book. For example, in 20 years, I've never booked anybody on the show that's currently in therapy unless we contact that therapist, explain what the show's about, what we're going to do, and get their permission in writing to have their patient on the show. Just because you don't want to mess up something that's going on with somebody who's... Yeah, it's just out of... I used to be in private practice, and I wouldn't want somebody tampering with... I might be in the midst of some process with somebody, and I might have six months into it,

and then here comes somebody that's an interloper into it, and we tell them, and it's not enough that they say, okay, they have to send us a letter in writing that says, I understand, and you have my blessing, and I'll continue with them afterwards. And if we don't have that in hand, we don't book them. It's just that simple. We don't book anybody that has been in a mental institution in any recent past whatsoever, because I just simply think if you've been unstable enough that they've had to put you in a protective environment in recent history, public television is probably not the place for you to be discussing your circumstances because you're going to go home.

And we don't show children's faces. And sometimes their parents will say, oh, we're okay with that. Well, you may be, I'm not. It's because you're not smart enough to recognize. I'm not going to do something with a child and air a show on Tuesday that they get bullied or teased about at school on Wednesday. I'm just not going to do it. So we'll disguise them, blur their faces, reference a different city.

Change their name. Change their names. If mom and dad slip, they edit that out. We just don't do anything. I think this contributes a lot. to the success and for the longevity because you take a very principled approach. Do you remember that show Bumfights back in the day and the guy that created it tried to come under show? I remember you kicking him off the show and I imagine you did that because one, you thought he was harmful and

not a good person and two, you just thought he wasn't taking it seriously. And I think when people see that, because you know, we were joking around about Jerry Springer earlier and we said he's a nice guy, but I think having those principles and actually being somebody that's actually trying to help people has created a lot of trust in your business and your brand. Yeah. I think people know, and sometimes I'll have somebody on that's maybe they are delusional or whatever they have unusual belief system. And before they ever come out, I'll tell the audience, look, everybody that comes here is a teaching tool. You know, there might be a million families at home that have somebody that has real non-consensual thinking. And their family's trying to decide, you know, is this path?

or just eccentric or we're going to decide this is charming or just how serious is this? And this is a teaching tool that helps people position that. And so they may say things that, you know, might be funny if it was on a sitcom or something like that. But we take this very seriously and we're going to treat them with dignity and respect. So I don't want to hear anybody laughing or making a comment or whatever out of the audience. So don't do that. And they don't.

And, you know, I have an advisory board. It's called the Dr. Phil Advisory Board. And it's made up of the top minds in psychology, psychiatry, medicine, nursing, sociology, psychiatry, theology, theology. And they're from the top learning centers in the country. I've got the head of the family division at the Harvard Medical School. I've got Dr. Zimbardo from Stanford University. I've got the head of the children's division at Yale. All these people.

So if I have a complex case, I can send it to them, and they help me go through it. And a lot of them are editors of the peer review journals, which has an 18-month lag. So we get beyond cutting-edge information. You know, they might say, look, vitamin B-6 is really helpful with those. CD and there's a new study about that that hadn't even published yet. So we get really great information and they really help me with those things. So I have kind of an off-the-cuff delivery style, but it doesn't really reflect how much preparation goes into it, how many experts are consulted, how much goes into it. Because I only talk about evidence-based therapies and really up-to-date

information. So we try to really do our homework. If there's one thing I have learned of doing this podcast. It is counseling and therapy are important. Doesn't matter if you've experienced trauma. Maybe you just want to talk something out. Maybe you want to go to couples therapy, whatever it is. Therapy is ideal. So we recently partnered with BetterHelp online therapy. I have talked about this before with you guys, but BetterHelp is absolutely insane. What it is is it's online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't want to be. You don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. You can just do a phone call. Sometimes this is helpful if you're dealing with something really heavy and you just want to talk to them on the phone.

It's almost like talking to a friend that has credentials. So you should obviously know that this is much more affordable than in person therapy. And you can be matched with your therapist in under 48 hours, which is amazing because sometimes you have like a crisis and you just need to talk something out. We all know that relationships take a lot of work. Maybe you're going to fight with your husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your significant other, you can just use better help. It's right at your fingertips. Everything is confidential. It's affordable. Like I said, it's efficient. It's out of the comfort of your own home, which is amazing. Because honestly, with everything that's going on in the world to get in the car, go see a therapist and then get back in the car and do the whole thing again.

Sounds incredibly overwhelming. And I just feel like everything in the world right now is selling time. And that's essentially what better help is doing. If they deal with everything from trauma to grief to everyday relationship problems. There's all kinds of stuff if you go to their site. Like I said, you've got to give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used BetterHelp online therapy. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and the Skinner, Confidential, him and her podcast listeners get 10% off their first month. You are going to go to BetterHelp.com slash Skinny. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash skinny. Are you both seeing a shift with something with COVID and quarantine with people? Have you seen new problems arise? Is there something across the board that's the same?

I don't think there are new problems. I think there are spikes in existing problems. We're seeing the highest level of anxiety, depression, loneliness that has ever been reported in modern times. I mean, CDC, all of the monitoring agencies are seeing the highest levels of this that we've seen in a long, long time. And chapter two of that story, it's just beginning. I've been talking about this a lot the podcast, I feel like the last two years have been so much fear and that people are going to start to have micro trauma from all of this in different ways. What do you think is going to happen over the next two years? Well, I think it's going to be over the next two decades. Wow. Isn't that scary? What? Is it that scary? The next two decades? Like you mean the cycle, like you think just two years of

this kind of damage creates 20 years of trauma. Oh my gosh. Or more. And, you know, for example, if you're not reading on grade level at the end of the third grade, dropout rate goes up four to six times normal. And we've also learned that remote learning in grades two and three had an impact of zero. I can't even imagine what me being a kid trying to learn online. Well, if you were tested at the beginning of remote learning and went through it for a year, the third grade and you're tested at the end of that, you're learning increment zero. Wow. So you've basically lost a year.

So that means you go back into the fourth grade. You're now going to be really frustrated because you can't handle this, so you're going to fall behind. That gap's going to widen each year that goes by, and as kids get frustrated, then they basically turn away, and so the dropout rate goes up. When the dropout rate goes up, then that means they get lesser quality jobs. When you get lesser quality jobs, then you have higher risk because you're doing more manual labor, which is more dangerous, so you have more injuries.

You also have lesser quality insurance, and the years of life lost because of this is going to show up 30 or 40 years from now. I don't think anyone's really, nobody's talked about that. And I talked about it in the beginning when I said you should have never closed the schools without a plan for reopening them. Or a plan to keep educating. Yeah, and they didn't do it. And there are some people like Dr. Costakis, who's a pediatric epidemiologist, that suggests that all of this, even after the first year, is going to cost over five million years of life

by the time these kids all reach maturity, that it's going to take two or three years off of each of their lives because of lesser jobs, lesser insurance. And this doesn't even talk about how many people are going to be impacted by putting off examinations, skipping treatments, all of these things. I got an eye issue. Lauren will get bad if I talk about she so soon. Please don't talk about the eye issue.

I'm going to go outside and land. And I have good medical care. Trying to find a doctor that will take me as a patient and will see me during all of this has been such a mess. And that's a minor thing compared to what a lot of people go through. But I can only imagine that extrapolates to so many people not being able to get the proper medical care. Well, you know, Phillips talking also about the children suffering with this at-home learning. But we also, I think, have to think about the parents that were thrown into the physician of being, the teacher because I don't know that any of them are through that stress and pressure yet

because I mean my I have to give credit to our daughter-in-law Erica and our son Jay but really to Erica she was on top of it every day with our two grandchildren and God bless her and God bless all the parents out there who had to step in and be the teacher, even though it was remote learning, she had to be on top of it, both of them, helping them, making sure they got through their lessons, making sure they got their homework done, and she was a stay-at-home mom. But think about those working moms. We have a young mom here. I couldn't have done it. And what happens when, like, so I guess when kids get exposed here in L.A. County, they shut the school down for a period of days and send the kid home. And she'll get calls here

sometimes. Look, we have a good policy, but she'll get calls. She'll literally have to leave the office, go home and take care of her kid for five days straight, which is like for, and like I said, luckily she has a good policy, but for, you know, the average mother or average father, like, how do you just stop work in the middle of the day and go and drop and take home with your kid? Exactly. Take over. Dr. Phil said on Joe Rogan's podcast, you said, problems are complex, but solutions are not.

What's the solution? In your perfect world, you get to raise your wand around. And I did say that. oftentimes, you know, problems are very complex, but the solutions, you know, if you look at the top ten killers in America, you know, heart disease, cancer, you know, just go down the list, the treatment is basically the same for all of them. You know, there's like me one difference. If it's a heart disease, you avoid things that create hypertension and impair blood flow and all. If it's cancer, you avoid non-carcinogens and all. But other than that, they're all

lifestyle, right? Good nutrition, good rest, et cetera, et cetera. And, you know, what has to happen here is you've got to first stop the bleeding. You've got to get the world going again. You've got to get kids back in school. You've got to start people putting one foot in front of the other again. And a lot of people that are impacted by this, you know, everybody thought when this was over with, we were all going to go racing back out into the world, like that scene from the movie Greece when it was the last day of school and they all ran out the doors to the carnival where everybody's running. But the fact is, when the world started opening back up, people were intimidated by what they used to take for granted. Now it's like, you know, do I

want to go back to work? Am I safe to go to the mall? Am I okay with this? And, so many mom and pop businesses that were on a narrow margin were lost and gone forever. Do you think some people maybe like this? Do you think there's a part of people that actually don't want the world to go back to normal? Because I sort of feel that. Oh, yeah. We've been rewarding bad behavior. Yes.

You know, at first, everyone, I think, enjoyed being sent home. You know, it's almost like being like your grandma. it. Everybody has to stay home. And you're like, well, kind of like this. It's, we're getting some time out. We're all getting to stay at home together and getting some me time and us time. And I think at first everyone, everyone was, they were all okay with it. But then of course, that got old. Okay, okay, we've had our alone time now. Let's get back to it. So that everyone went through that period of going, okay, enough is enough. Let's get back to it. And just we couldn't, we couldn't get back to it. and then it just went on and on and on.

So I think the whole world, I think we're all scared to death now. You say, do you think we're kind of not wanting to get back to it? I actually feel like everyone's very scared to death that we're never going to get back to it. You have a powerful platform, both of you, a powerful platform of voice. And when you say things like we've been rewarding bad behavior,

one is coming from a doctor's perspective, so I think we should point that out. But can you elaborate on that? And do you get pushback for that take? Yeah, I don't give shit. Good. I mean, it's the truth. Yeah.

It's a truth. It's one of the most fundamental principles of psychology. If your child... Pull that clip too, Taylor. If Zaza falls down in the grocery store and has a tantrum on the toy aisle because she wants a toy and some ice cream and she's in the floor kicking and screaming, are you going to go hand her a toy and an ice cream cone? Of course not.

You don't reward that bad behavior. You don't reward bad behavior. And sitting at home, not working, not contributing, not requiring the best of yourself is not good behavior. So we're going to give you bonus money for that, and then we're going to extend that out. We're going to extend that out. We're going to extend that out. And look, when the government decides to shut down the economy, should they then say, well, since we're not going to let you work, we will help you over the hump here.

First off, I don't think they should have ever shut it down. Agreed. But secondly, since they did, they should then help people get over the hump so they don't starve to death. But at some point, you've got to say, I'm not going to continue to be nonproductive. You know, this is a meritocracy. You need to get out and work. and encourage, you're not encouraging people to do that if you're paying them to sit at home. 37 states turned down an offered extension on unemployment bonus.

They said, we can anybody to work now. Thank you. No. So scary. They didn't want the money. They said, we did get people back to work. They couldn't get people in the hospitality industry. They couldn't get people in retail.

They couldn't get people. It's a real problem. You know, what's interesting is like, Lauren and I, during this pandemic, you know, especially we've, you know, we moved to Texas and we're here and we've had to go back and forth. And there's been to periods also where I've had to go to the East Coast. Like, I just, for what I do professionally,

I kind of have to move around sometimes. And I kind of talk about it as like, I've been the control, meaning like I've been in different environments. I've been in L.A. and lived here. I've now been in Texas. And it's so strange because, and people like maybe get a little upset by this, but you could go to Texas and not even,

know anything was different unless you watch the news and people and I need to tell people out there who are living you know in places that have been a little bit more fearful but like it's been great it's been normal people like what pandemic yes exactly there's people are like we have a like I think we got all the jobs back in Texas and are leading like one of the four states that are leading and I look around and like people are happy and they're productive and they're outside and they're being active and it's normal and they're in the office and then I come here and I'm like what the hell is going on it's super different here it's so different our grandchildren are living in going to school in Texas and thank God they're smart because the schools didn't shut down.

People will throw like, oh my God, this is so irresponsible. And I'm like, that's just not the, that just has not been the case over there. I think you need to follow the science, and I do. And I said 37 states turn it down. Some of them may have caved since, so you can fact check that because I'm not sure how many actually stayed with that resolve. But we've tried to set good examples. You know, we wore mask when that was the protocol on Paramount Lot. Both of us are triple vaccinated.

We encourage others to get the vaccine. You know, we've tried to do everything we could find. It's science-based and not political to do, and I encourage people to do that. But there comes a point when you say, okay, you've got to weigh the risk-reward ratios, and you've got to get back to life. Yeah, there's a lot of, it just, I mean, I know that I'm not the first person to say this but you know you sit down

you take off the mask you stand up you put it back on you walk in with it you take it off it is like I'm like at some point like this might be one of the dumbest periods of human history right like the way that we're all just behaving and it's like you say that and people say well you're anti these policy you're you're promoting death it's like no I'm promoting common sense

here and we all know it it just people for some reason are scared to speak out and say it now and so it's like hey it didn't work let's just move the fuck on I think that's happening now in like I saw London, or not London, but the UK just came out and said, hey, we're done with this shit. Same with Spain. Yeah, history is going to be unkind about all of this.

But look, like people have asked me about wearing a mask and these mandates and stuff. It's a very little sacrifice. And my attitude was, you know, if there's a possibility that it keeps somebody from getting sick, hand me a mask. I don't get me shit. I'll wear it. It's such a little thing. And if it turns out that it didn't make a difference, then so what? So I wore a mask for a while.

It's no big deal. I'll go along with it. I think the question is, is how long now? Yeah, exactly. Right? It's like, okay, we all participated. We all did it. But now that we have things to protect us against this virus, and again, if people want to get vaccinated, they should.

But at some point, it's like, okay, we've done the things. We've developed the protections. Now, like, how long do we have to keep up the experiment? Yeah. What do you both think you're going to see for the Dr. Phil show with everything that's going on in the world in the next year and a half? Do you think that there's going to be more cases of anxiety, depression? Do you think we'll see just a certain theme happening? If you follow me on Instagram stories, you know you can find me drinking mocktails.

Lots of mocktails. I got to shake it up while I'm pregnant, if you know what I mean. And for my mocktails, I have been using olipop. You guys, if you were a soda drinker when you were little, These are all the delicious nostalgic flavors that you used to have. But there's barely any sugar. There's barely any calories. They're non-GMO, vegan paleo, keto-friendly, all the things.

And they have less than 8 gram net carbs per can. So what I like to do is I fill a wine glass. I feel like I'm having a glass of wine up with tons of ice. And then I stick some basil or some rosemary or even some mint in there. And then I'll put the olypop in the glass and do a pixie store. and it feels like I'm in the south of France. My favorite flavor is definitely the orange squeeze. It reminds me of orange soda when I was little.

It's so crazy when you look into how much sugar is in soda. Like a Coca-Cola, I googled it, has 39 grams of sugar. Like I said, I love the orange squeeze. And this one has five grams of sugar compared to orange fonto, which has 44 grams of sugar. Wow. Wild. Right now, receive 20% off plus free shipping on your order. I recommend trying their variety pack because this is a really boozy way to try all their delicious flavors. You can kind of pick and choose what you like.

So you're going to go to drink olipop.com slash skinny or use code skinny at checkout to claim this deal. That's D-R-I-N-K-O-L-I-P-O-P-O-P dot com slash skinny. Alleypop can also be found in over 8,000 stores across the country, including Kroger, Target, Whole Foods, Sprouts, and Weldman's. Cheers. I do think you're going to see a lot of families that, are experiencing depression and anxiety and stress welling up and creating relationship problems. And there are some families that said, you know, there's so long that I've thought, you know, I wish I had time to spend with the kids in the backyard and throwing the ball around

and, you know, getting closer to them. And they seized that opportunity and made the best of it and actually turned it into a positive. Our son and daughter-in-law did that, and I know a lot of other people that did too. But, you know, that's not the case for everybody. And you think about some of these families that are living in a one-bedroom apartment with one window in an inner city in the winter

where it's too cold to get outside, and they're stuck, and they maybe got one device. and a terrible internet connection, and they're trying to do homework and all of that. And it's been very stressful, and I think it's taking its toll on relationships. And like I say, we're seeing the spikes in all of these mental and emotional issues. And, you know, hopefully that will lessen across time. but I've already am seeing families that are in crisis.

Well, can you imagine what you were saying, how you would sneak through your window, because your house was chaotic, and there was three women, and can you imagine being quarantined in your house without going out? I can't, that would be horrible. You got to sneak out your window. I mean, there was no escape for a while for some of these people,

so I can't even imagine. One of my biggest concerns, because as Philip mentioned earlier, I'm very supportive and very much into domestic violence. Yes, it's love for you to speak about that. And that was a huge concern for everyone. I know, but very scary concern being confined, quarantined, and having something like that going on in your family or in your own home.

That was a very scary time. And I think, to answer your question, I think we're going to start seeing a lot of people reaching out for help to get out of those kinds of situations. If they weren't, and it's already, maybe it started. It had been brewing. And so if I had to say, I think maybe seeing a lot of need for help to get out of a domestic violence situation. Yeah, some of the Department of Child and Family Services reported refuted. referrals dropped 50 to 75%.

Referrals of domestic violence and abuse. Of children being abused. Wow. Now that's not because abuse dropped 75%. That's because the mandated reporters, teachers, counselors, lunchroom, staff, et cetera, didn't have their eyes on those children to spot the red flags so they couldn't report it. So those kids are stuck at home getting abused with nobody to report.

report it. And when things drop off 75% in terms of reports and you know the abuse is continuing, those children have been abandoned with nobody to report it, nobody to stand up for them. This is where I think that's terrible. There's a failure in modern media and government where it's like we have, you know, we have a problem and we throw a blanket band-aid solution on that and we completely disregard and acknowledge all of the other things or consequences that are going to arise because of this. And I think you've seen some people like yourself start to talk about it and speak out about it and they almost get like ostracized from society because it's like, wait a minute, like you have

to focus on this problem. Don't acknowledge that because it diminishes what we're doing over here. But I think all of these things have to be taken into account, right, or else society just starts to crumble within itself. And I'm the incurable optimist. I think Americans are resilient. and I think we'll find a way through this, but it's time to start finding that way. I want to take a little twist.

I would love to talk about some challenges that you guys have had with working together or as a couple and how you've worked through them just because it is a him and her podcast, and I would love for you to inspire my husband. Okay, yeah, let's set him straight. Let's set him straight. Robin, please manipulate Michael. Yeah, let's just set him straight. Tell me, what's you doing?

His delivery is a little harsh. Oh, I hate that. I hate that. Yeah, I've always had an attitude that I think has served us well. And I've embraced it and I've tried to practice it as well too. And that is that if you ever have to have to. stop being all of who you are to be part of a couple, you've made a bad trade. That's true.

I think of it. I mean, think about it. When you get into a relationship, you are who you are. And that's who the other person fell in love with. And if you stop being that person, that doesn't mean that there's not a range of who you are. but I've told Robin sometimes she I'm not very expressive emotionally so true and you know even like good things will happen and she'll say come on give me something just give me a happy dance for a minute or something can I just have a yay you know just two pump fistpunts in the air just just give me something be the

WB frog could you could you break out into a smile or something but but you're just a reckless smile or something But I've told her, look, you married a middle linebacker. You didn't marry cheerleader. You know, somebody that was not that. Whatever. And for context, middle linebacker is the guy that's just smashing everybody. It's not a lot of emotion. Yeah, it's not a finesse job.

We're not playing a football game right now, dear. It's not a light touch. Yeah, you don't tap on the door, you run through it. And that's just kind of who I am, which comes in real handy if somebody's jacking with her. She never feels unsafe. True. And I don't think you ever have. Oh, no, no, no, no.

I would not be jacking with Dr. Phil's wife. I would not. But you got to be all of who you are. That doesn't mean you can't be sensitive to the other person because I also recognize she's got to be all of who she is. Yeah. which I bite my tongue about sometimes because I wouldn't do some of the things she does. But I recognize, you know, that's who she is. Like, where's this going?

I still don't see. I'm still not hearing my compliment. Well, I'm saying I married you for who you are. I don't want you to change. I don't want her to be somebody different. That doesn't mean you have to like every minute of it every day. You just say that's who she is. If I want somebody different, I'd have married somebody different.

So when she says, get me something. that you could just give me something. Michael doesn't give me something really either. It's like, it's, it's, it's, I want him to sometimes celebrate and get excited. We just talked about this with Lori. Yeah. It's like, okay, I give you what you want. Yeah, we have to fake some shit.

We fake a lot of shit. I have to fake some shit. Yeah, we make a lot of shit. What do you think? They're not fake. I have to fake raw, raw. Yeah, like, oh, you want to get excited about something. Yeah.

Okay, do you all need a minute? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. Taylor, cut that out of the show. No. Yeah, it's, it's, it really, really. Let me translate for you. Okay, now she's going to tell you what's really a deal.

Good, tell us. Tell us. So he still hasn't figured out that when I say it's fine, he thinks it's really fine. Oh, no, no, no, they all do. It's never fine. It's like, wait a minute. No, no, it just means that that's our opportunity to get to hell out. Yeah, yeah.

It's, yeah, we're not under the misapprehension and it's fine. I say, I go, not what I would do and walk away. And then I go, pass the ketchup. Oh, gosh. Yeah, actually, I think when we hear it's fine, that's when, that's when we say, oh, shit, right? I think so, Josh, he thinks it's really fine. You guys have been married for 45 years. So there's some kind of thing that really works between you if you're fighting or disagreeing.

And like, what is that unlock? How do you guys make it work? for 45 years. Well, here, this is the truth. This is truly, this is it. Before we got married, he told me the things that he really

did not like. Here's what you can do to push my buttons. Don't ever do this. Don't ever do that. Like, honestly, one of them was, there's a list of one, as I recall. There were a few. There were a few things.

But like one thing was don't ever tell me that I remind you of my father. Like, oh, you are so your father. He says, don't ever do that. Yeah, that was fun. So I have never done that. Like, because I know that would really upset him. It would just really take him down. So I choose never to do that because I know.

No, he would hate that. It would upset him. He would never forget it. And he would think to himself, you did that knowing. I did not want you to do that. So why would I want to do that? I don't want to. I would never do that because I would do a full well knowing. It would upset him. So I choose not to push his buttons. It's a pretty good way. Did you ever get to a place with your father where you were able to get to a good place? place with them or forgive? Well, I wrote a book called Self Matters several years ago, and in it I talk about what I call 10-7-5. And there's, it's a really good thing to think about that in our lives we have 10 defining moments, we make seven critical choices, and we meet five pivotal people. And there's actually research to support that, by the way.

I didn't just make those up out of, you know, by the time you're in your 40s, and you'll rotate some of those out as you go on. But, and those five pivotal people might be positive people, they might be negative people. Like if, let's say in your childhood you were molested by an uncle or something for seven or eight years, that's probably going to make your pivotal people list in a real negative way, but that's going to be somebody that wrote on the story. to who you are in a way that'll never go away. And my father was one of my five pivotal people in both a negative and positive way. I hated that he was a drunk. I hated the way he treated my mother.

I hated a lot of the things that he did. I also recognized he was probably the hardest working man I ever met in my entire life. He was smart. He was All-American. running back University of Tulsa. He was a great athlete with an incredible work ethic. I mean, there were things about him that I admired greatly. And I hope some of those things translated to me. And I saw how much he cared about certain things. So there were things, it wasn't all negative. And he was, like I said, a bad drunk. And the last two years of his life, he quit

drinking completely, went back to the Dallas Theological Seminary and got his masters in theology. So, you know, he did, you know, make efforts to turn things around and stuff. So there were some positives in there. So, yeah, we had some, and he knew he was dying. And, you know, I always tell people that don't let the sun set on you without doing or saying with the people. you love what you need to do or say because you have no idea whether they're going to be here tomorrow or not and I mean that you really need to hear that because you really don't know and he knew he was dying and he did have a great sense of humor I mean he came home from that appointment and I said

how did it go he said well don't buy me any green bananas I could tell you that and so we knew it was coming and there was nothing they could do about it. And we had the chance to really sit down and say some things that needed to be said, both positive and negative. And so that was, you know, that was good. I was glad that we had that time. All right. We recently went to Switzerland. And when we're in Switzerland, sometimes it's hard when you're traveling to get all your vegetables in. I did my best, but with a baby on the way and a baby under two in Switzerland, it was a lot. So what Michael and I decided to do when we committed to this was to wake up every morning, have hot water with lemon. Sometimes I put some chlorophyll in there for the altitude.

And then we would do a cup each of athletic greens. And we made it like a thing. We did like a cheers. Michael brought the little travel packets. And in the packs are like 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole food source, superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens. So you get everything to help start your day right. This is so amazing when you're traveling. I like it with a lot of ice over water. I drink it down. I am ready to go. And I'm telling you, this special blend will give you a zing. It supports gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy, recovery, focus, and aging. You have to check out athletic greens because everyone is talking about it. I've heard it on Joe Rogan. I've heard it on Tim Ferriss. People are buzzing.

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slash skinny. Again, that's athletic greens.com slash skinny to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. When it comes to family as parents, you guys have done a very good job with raising children and keeping them down to earth. Oh, he's pointing at you. He is pointing at you. That was cute. That was cute. Robin. Robin has done it all. Robin has done such a good job of raising the children. How have you made sure that they're driven and ambitious and just like seem to be like very two children that like have their shit together, I guess. You know, we hate to take credit, but we take the credit, I guess for raising them to young adults and then they took over and were so proud of them. So they're just so precious.

They're good boys. Now great young men. We just made the decision to be full-time parents. And I don't know. It's kind of hard to answer that question. Like what are three things that you wanted to instill in them when they were growing up that you think have really paid off? Well, I always wanted to make sure that they knew every day that I was proud of. them every day I was so proud of them and every day I wanted them to have fun. Everything you're

going to do today, have fun. Most importantly, just have fun and I'm proud of you and I love you. So I always said that to him every morning before when I took them to school or whatever they were going to do. We went to every game in sports, everything they ever did. We were always there for him and he would give them a little coaching in the athletics and in whatever sport they were in And as they'd run out on the court or out on the field, but have fun, how fun. So, but I always wanted them to have respect for the adults in their, in their lives. And so it was important to me that they, that they treated everyone with respect and that they understood the rules and abided, you know, they abide by the rules in our home. and just have respect.

She really taught them how to treat women. That was really key. She really taught them how to treat women. She had, you know, they were taking them to a school dance or something. You call her this afternoon before the dance. How's everything going? Then you, the day after, you call her about noon and let her know what a wonderful time you had and thank her for going.

and, you know, she taught them, you know, you, and they've been that way their whole lives. And even if they didn't want to go, or if it was somebody that kind of got trapped, don't you say that, you call her and you this and that. I always started, let me tell you how a woman feels. Let me tell you how a woman thinks about that. And then they go, oh, no, here it comes, because it was, Jay was probably 15. and he it was a it was a the type of dance he was in an all-boys school and there was a sister girls girls girls school would call and invite the boys so it was a dance that the girls from the

girl school would call and invite the boys so she had done that and so he was sitting at his desk and doing homework and phone rings and I answered it and I go tell him your date invited you to this dance coming up wants to talk to you and she wanted to tell him what color her dress was so he could order the flower and so I was standing there and I heard him say hello yeah yeah I'm studying what do you need okay fine red okay fine I got to go oh yeah that's not good that's not good that's not good and he goes what I'm busy and I really don't even really want to go to that dance and I said well let me just tell you how she's feeling right now she's been planning her dress. She's been planning her hair appointment. She knows what color now polish she's going to wear.

She's got this appointment and this appointment. And it was really scary for her to call you. And then you talk to her like that. You pick up the phone and you call her back and you apologize for being so abrupt. And you get excited about the dance and excited about her dress. And you up, da, he goes, I said, because let me just tell you, you may not want to go to that dance with her. and you may not have another date with her. But just let me tell you how girls think. Girls talk. And after that dance, you want her talking to her friends.

And you want her saying, oh, he is so nice. He was so attentive. Every time I called him, he was so charming. It didn't really work out great for us, but you want to go out with him. Because if you don't do that, she's going to say, oh, he's a jerk. he was so abrupt with me

he wasn't nice at the dance don't go out with him I said and she may actually own the company you want to work for one day and when you walk in for that interview she's going to go I remember you because women never forget don't you ever forget that

I'm kind of scared but I'll women never forget next time you're abrupt I'm going to bring up that conversation that Robin just said women never forget and they will he says this that to this day goes yeah mom i remember you telling me women never forget you're right i mean it's

true before you guys go i have a random question what is dr phil and robin's morning routine i ask this question to all of the guests on the podcast and i would love to know if you you guys are so disciplined in your life i'm sure there's something that you do every morning together or apart okay Okay. So are you talking about on a tape day or a day off? You could tell us both. I mean, we love the more the merrier. Tell us all the details. Well, first I want to start out by saying we both agree on, we're really very boring. That's okay. That's okay. And we love being at home.

Well, I can give you the short version on from my end because I get up in the morning. It takes me about eight, nine minutes to get ready. I get in the shower, shower, get out, shake like a dog, put on a t-shirt, some shorts. And I play tennis 350 days a year. Wow. We got a clay court at our house, and it's like best clay court in history. So everybody comes there and plays, and we love it. So I just wear tennis stuff to the studio.

The only time I'm ever in a suit's on camera. I don't even have a suit at home, I don't think. Wow. Well, I can imagine. I mean, you're wearing a suit. a lot. Yeah, I changed at least twice a day, go through it. So she gets up at least two hours before I do and goes in there and closes the door and all these machines start running and puffs of stuff come up around the door. I'll handle my morning. You handle yours. Anyway,

you handle your morning. I'll handle mine. But then I get up and go in and do my eight minutes and I come out and start loading her shit up. Okay, let me tell you. Are you drinking coffee, lemon water? Are you doing a meditation? Are you doing anything?

Or is it shower, shake off? Let's go. I want to play tennis. No, that's on the way of the studio. I get up shower, shake and go in there

and start dragging her stuff out to the car. Okay, so now I'm going to take over because this is really cute. I got a strong image of you shaking now. I got to, this is really cute because we're very ritualistic people. Okay.

We like always have been. and and this is very, very sweet. Okay, so I get, I'm really into numbers. So I set my alarm for 555. And I get up, 55, and I go, he's still asleep. It's very dark in our room. So I do my best not to wake him. So I go into my, through my closet, into my bathroom.

One of her closets, go ahead. One of my closets. Okay, so I have a nail over here with my stuff. He has like a little hook that he hangs. is tennis clothes. It's not true. Okay. So I go in through to my closet and I brush my teeth, all that kind of thing.

And I do my own hair and makeup for the camera. Wow. Always have. And my wardrobe. So I start with my makeup and my hair. But the night before, I have put together a bag and clothes. While I have a dressing room at the studio and I have things in the closet there that I have decided I would wear, if I'd change.

change of my mind, I put some things together, put a bag over them, and I have a little suitcase that has the jewelry and extras that will go every day to the studio, put that together. So I have, so I start my makeup. And it's not until I hear him go through the door and into his bathroom, that I walk out and turn on the coffee maker, because I'm so sweet, I don't want that coffee maker to wake him up early. He doesn't drink coffee. He doesn't drink anything in the morning. He's not one of those that needs to have any. No coffee, no alcohol. He's never had any alcohol. Ever? He has no problem pouring me a glass of wine or whatever I want, but no, he's never had a drink. Just not interested. Just chooses not to have alcohol. He actually, well, my father was also an

alcoholic, and I will tell you this on our first date, I said, do you drink alcohol? Because I made a decision when I was like 12 years old, that I would never marry a man who drank alcohol. And I would never raised my children in a home with an alcoholic. Little of the unknow is being screened on the first date. Yes, because I grew up with an alcoholic father as well. Although it came pretty clear if we walked past a church and she said, how do you feel about marriage? We're standing in front of a church and I thought, holy shit.

Because I believe in love at first time. I knew we'd get married one day. So I said, do you drink alcohol? And he said, I actually think I'm allergic to it. I went, hmm, awesome. Then he gave you the IQ test, the personality test. There was a lot of tests that. Everyone was testing. I call them traps. I love a good trap. Man, I already knew right then. Okay, you're the one. So, flash forward, I turn on the coffee maker. I make myself a cup of coffee. I do my hair and my makeup.

And then he, I hear his bathroom door open. He walks into my closet. I get up. He gets my hanging clothes in my bag. And I walk him downstairs to his car. And I have walked him to his car every day. That's sweet. every day for 45 years. Oh my gosh, you guys are so cute. It's just this ritual. Wait, why don't you do a show that's just about your cuteness one time about this is so sweet. She literally throws me out of the house. I don't get the fuck out.

He takes my things with him so that they're already prepped in my dressing room by his assistant. Are you taking notes here? Do you want to go to the computer? So when I walk in. And it's a long way of that front door. Yeah. I go all the way down the stairs. And then because I do my hair and makeup,

but then I touch it up when I get to my dressing room and then I get dressed at the studio with my things but he takes it so his assistant can have it all prepped in in my dressing room for me because then it takes me a while I I arrive at the studio at I'm going to say 830 838 45 we start taping at 930 but he's already been there now an hour because he's prepping final prep for the show so it's just a ritual it sounds like the secret to marriage I really think it is If I picked up on that right when you slipped that. Yeah. And also little tiny rituals.

There's like three closets between her bathroom and mine. Make a difference. Yeah. Carry my shit everywhere. You don't carry my shit enough. Well, we live up on a hill and. Oh, yeah. Carry it.

It's this, it's just how she wanted. And he suppressed me with it. It's a precious story. Can I tell it? Yeah, tell it, tell it. Go ahead. I'll let you finish it. No, I'm just saying it's, it's a.

It's the cutest story. Go ahead. Oh my God. Tell us the Okay, so we had a home on Lexington. It was on the flats and he really wanted a tennis court and I wanted a view. We wanted some privacy. So we started looking for a new home. And we looked for like two years and we finally found this one home and it wasn't finished. This woman was building it. I found it actually. I said, I found the house. Well, I found the home. It wasn't finished. So he made an offer

because I love building, redecorating, all that kind of thing. And she didn't want to sell it. She it was her baby and so we waited another year. I kept driving up there to look at, see how finished it was, and kind of walked onto the property one day and got thrown off the property. This man, this head of the construction sites, like, you keep coming around here. And I said, I was just looking. He goes, he threw me off.

Said if I ever came back, he was going to call the police. Ooh, not the person I would want to throw off the lot. I was like, wow. What happened to that guy? Is he still with us? No, he stopped. But I was like, wow. So, okay, so it's been like another year.

And our little Avery, our granddaughter's born. And Jay said, you know, Mom, can you babysit Avery? And Philip says, I'm going to go meet Jay for a meeting. And he's just acting so casual. And he said, hey, you know what I was thinking? I was thinking if I get back from this meeting in time and it's still light outside, we should drive up to that home. See if she's ever finished that home.

And I went, oh, I don't think we should. We can just go see if it's finished, maybe check it out. And I said, well, I'm going to be honest with you. I drive up there all the time and I think it's finished. But I don't think we should go up there because I could be in jail. And he goes, what? And I told him. He goes, oh, well, we wouldn't hurt to just drive by.

I said, whatever. So anyway, he goes to the meeting. I'm rocking our granddaughter and everything. And Jay runs in a few an hour or so later. And he grabs Avery. and I said, where's your dad? And he goes, oh, he'll be home soon. Da-da-da.

Flash forward, he's sitting there. I'm hoping he doesn't remember he wants to drive up there because I really believe I'll be arrested. And so he goes, oh, hey, he's so casual. He goes, oh, hey, it's not quite dark. Let's go. We drive up there and the gates are open. And he goes, oh, look, the gates open.

They must be leaving for the day or something. I said, don't, don't do it, Philip. He still drives in. He drives right up to the front door. Front door's open. And he goes, oh, look. let's go stand, let's go look in. I went, no, I refused to get out of the car.

He gets out, he's standing at the front door, and he's kind of looking in, he's turned around going, come on, come on, come. I'm not serious. And he goes, oh, come on. So I think, oh, this is ridiculous. He'll protect me. So I get out, and I go stand behind him, and I'm kind of looking in the house, and it looks like it's finished.

And all of a sudden he turns around, scoops me up, carries me over the threshold. Oh, that's great. And said, welcome home. I just bought you this. house. That is a room. I almost teared up on that story. That's a romantic story. Oh my gosh. He does show emotion though. That's just carrying you over the threshold of your household. Robin, I have to be honest here because yeah, you said he doesn't show emotion. That's a pretty tender moment. You have been carrying me over the threshold of my house that you got for me. Let me get a few more years and we could

get this show to like 15 years. And it's such a beautiful home and it has a beautiful view of the city. And the sun had just gone down. And I'm like, what? He goes, that's where I've been. man, he had been buying the home. And I was like, and he's still holding me. And right in the middle of the foyer is a standing champagne bucket. She had had two glasses. Jay rushed in to get the baby, and he and Erica ran out, put the champagne bucket there. And he goes, Jay and Erica left that here so we could toast. I'm like, no. He goes, and Erica knew how chilly it was. So over on the railing, She had taken her denim jacket off. She had on like a denim jacket and left it for me.

And you knew she was just going up there all the time and just loved it. Would you just give this one like? They gave her the godfather offer. How did you put the horse in the bed? What did you do? Well, you know, this woman wouldn't sell the house until it was finished. And I knew if it ever got finished, I'd never be able to buy it because it's, and I caught her one day and I just said, look, cash offer, no escrow, no closing, no inspection, no

nothing. I hand you the money. They drop their tools and walk off. And I just caught her and she said, what the hell? God damn it. That's a boss move. When he first made the offer a year, a year prior, and she said, no, I went, she's not a Dr. Phil fan. She must hate you. She must not hate the show. She's just, you know, some there are some Dr. Phil fans and there are some people that are not. So I just thought, I'm never, she never going to sell us a house. We're going to have to keep looking. And the minute he bought the gave her the check and she goes do you think I could get some tickets to the show?

Oh that's cute. Oh my God. You guys know how to give an interview man. That was a 10 out of 10. We got stories. We got opinions. We got everything. I mean, that was a gorgeous way to end

this conversation. You guys are welcome back anytime. Taylor will have the mic's fix next time and hopefully the overhead lighting will be better. Pimp yourself. out. Where can everyone find you? Tell us what you're working on your Instagram's everything. Thank you. Oh, I just get up every day looking for work, you know. I'm just, I'm just hanging out. Instagram handles that, Dr. Phil, right? Yes. I guess. I don't know.

Yes. Robin, where can everyone find you in your podcast? Yes. My podcast is I've got a secret with Robin McGrath.com and Robin underscore McGrath's Instagram. And I have been on your podcast before. or you guys go listen. We had such a fun conversation. And Robert Green was just on. She has some great guest. Thank you. Thank you both for taking the time.

Thank you for bearing with us with the lights, with the audio. That was so fun. Yeah, thank you, both. That was fun. Thank you guys for coming on. Like, gosh, thank you so much. That was so fun. Before you go, do you want to win the new skinny confidential shaving cream?

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