The Bossticks - Gabby Reece Is Raw, Real, & Here To Tell Us How To Live - Relationship Advice, Parenting, Masculine & Feminine Energy, & How To Continue To Evolve

Episode Date: January 21, 2020

#242: On this episode we sit down with Gabby Reece. Gabby Reece is a former professional athlete, mother, best selling author, fitness expert, entrepreneur and wife to Laird Hamilton. This is a very raw conversation that covers a lot of ground. We discuss how to have successful relationships, be a good parent, masculine & feminine energy and how to continue to keep evolving. If you love this episode like we do be sure to check out Gabby's new show: The Gabby Reece show on the Dear Media podcast network! To listen to The Gabby Reece Show click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Joovv. Experience the benefits of red light therapy by one of the best in the business; JOOVV! To experience the Joovv and receive a free gift with purchase go to joovv.com/skinny This episode is brought to you by RITUAL Forget everything you thought you knew about vitamins. Ritual is the brand that's reinventing the experience with 9 essential nutrients women lack the most. If you're ready to invest in your health, do what I did and go to www.ritual.com/skinny  Your future self will thank you for taking Ritual: Consider it your 'Lifelong-Health-401k'. Why put anything but clean ingredients (backed by real science) in your body? This episode is brought to you by SMART SWEETS. If you have a sweet tooth and are looking for a healthy alternative to some of your favorite candy, you have to try SMART SWEETS. To try smart sweets visit www.smartsweets.com and use code Skinny15 at checkout for 15% off your entire order. Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by Smart Sweets. The best, if you're trying to kick sugar, guys. They have gummy bears, peatrings, sour bass, buddies, and sweet fish without the added sugar, artificial colors, or artificial flavors. Also, they're full of fiber. You can use our code Skinny 15 for 15% off your first order of $30 or more on smartsweets.com. All right, let's get into the show.

She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. We could have it all.

We could know it all. Because through the phone, right, you can know it all. You can see it all. The ability to be still, the ability to choose because that's what you want, not because that's what will look good and all of those things. And you guys have a pressure on you that we didn't. You just, everyone chimes in. Everyone's got an opinion.

And I think at some point, you know, the notion of like live and let live, I think that would be okay. Welcome back to the skinny confidential him and her show. That clip was from our guest of the show today, Gabby Reese. She's an Olympian, a hustler, a fellow podcaster, a mom, and married to Laird Hamilton. Basically, she's a boss. For those of you who are new to the show, I am Lauren Everett's Bostick, the creator of the skinny confidential, and across from me is my husband with a great hairline today. It's looking really good.

You must have spent like 45 minutes on that shit. It only took me about five seconds. And it's always it's always a pretty good hairline. My name is Michael Bostic guys. I'm a serial entrepreneur brand builder. Most recently the CEO of the Dear Media Podcast Network. Really, really excited to feature Gabby Reese today on this show. Lauren and I, you know, we've known about Gabby for a long time. Obviously, she's a, she's in a very accomplished person. She's a famous person. But we really fell in love with her voice and her message when we heard her on Joe Rogan and Tim Ferriss.

We just, like, thought she was incredible. And I'm happy to say because of that after multiple meetings and now after having her on the show, she's also got a new show on the Dear Media Podcast Network that just launched yesterday, guys, check it out. It's called the Gabby Reese show. But before you do, definitely listen to this episode. Honestly, if you're an Ed Milet fan too and you've been listening to that episode over and over, you're going to love Gabby Reese.

I am such a consumer of her content, you guys. Go to Joe Rogan's show, listen to her, listen to her here, go to her podcast, check it out. She has a very masculine energy, but with this really divine femininity, too. It's like, it's like very, very good balance. And she's really someone I look up to and someone that's a role model. I mean, she's got a huge list of accomplishments throughout her career. I mean, she's a health and fitness expert. She's obviously an Olympian, a professional volleyball player.

She's married to Laird Hamilton, one of the greatest big wave surfers of all. time. She's, her and Laird are doing crazy things with their XPT training in the pool. I mean, she's a mom, New York Times bestselling author. She is a wealth of knowledge covering so many different topics, which is why I think everyone that listens to this episode is going to get immense value and also immense value from her show, which is ultimately why we wanted to partner with her with Dear Media. She also gave me some really good mom advice. And she has this, Michael said it, kind of, but she has a cold plunge pool at her house that I want to go over and I want Michael to buy me one for my birthday intent. So enjoy this episode and then be sure to check

out her new show that we just launched on the Dear Media Network, the Gabby Reese show. If you guys love this episode, you're going to love that show as well. A lot of amazing guests coming down the pipeline for her, a lot of amazing topics. Check it out. And with that, Gabby, welcome to the show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Okay, is it discomfort? Is it, oh, I don't get into my cute pants anymore? Like, if we really, have you ever, like, had something going on with your house, like something, like a wall needs to get patched or something needs to get fixed? And it really actually doesn't bother you, even though you know it has to get fixed. But when you know people are going to come over and then you're like, oh, I should get everything buttoned up, right? And I check

myself all the time. I go, how much of what I do in my life is because that's what I want? And how much is it because it is that thing of what other people think, right? So with the weight as females, it's like we're conditioned. Of course you want to feel good and healthy and mobile. Right now you have a baby sitting on your pelvis. That's going to be hard to do no matter whether you gain 10 or it's a person sitting on your pelvis. But when you think about, oh, the baby's going to come, the weight will come off when it comes off. You're young and you're healthy. I think it's that I feel out of control.

You are out of control. Yeah. I think that's what's tripping me out. We're all out of control. And anyone that you meet that thinks they have it under control and it's scheduled and this how my life goes and my car is clean and I go to holiday on this day and everything, they're delusions. And they're the ones that get hit hardest by life because as soon as it goes off the rails a little bit and they're like, holy shit. Yeah. Like when you talk to people where you go like it's messy and they're kind of holding on and they're sort of out with it, you go, I bet you they know some stuff.

That's probably true. I probably just have to surrender to what's happening. I'm really trying. I'm trying to do it through meditation. It's also when you're pregnant, you can't have a glass of wine. You can't go do cryotherapy. You can't go sit in a sauna. You can't use all. all these tools that I've been, wine is a tool that I'm used to using. You mean to like get yourself centered or moments of feeling homeostasis? Yeah. So it's weird. I mean, you can do chiropractic care, but. You know what, though?

I'm proud of her. She's, like the entire pregnancy, she's done Pilates like five days a week, which is pretty, you know, pretty impressive being pregnant that whole time. Maybe she's probably worked out more than me this pregnancy.

It's the only thing that's made me feel really good is to get up and move. I can't imagine sitting around. Yeah, no, you have to. I think, about like women used to work in the fields until, you know, five minutes before they gave birth. Like we're actually quite built for doing it. I think, listen, how many kids you think you're going to have? How many pregnancies are you going to go through? It's like in a way what you

have to try to do or no, here's a suggestion you don't have to do anything, is this is this is oddly a magical time in that you get to participate in creating and being a part of this miracle and it is uncomfortable. Like you guys have grown to business. Has that been easy? No. Okay. So it's sort of like that thing of life.

The reason things are cliches is because it's like, yeah, it's uncomfortable because you're getting ready to go on to this next chapter that is important in the sense of like all of the things you're going to learn and grow and there's no way we can enter into that. I think it would be nature would be unjust to us to make it easy. So you have three girls. What's been the most uncomfortable stage that you've had with the girls so far? Is it the newborn stage? Is it the teenage phase? What is it? The teenage? It's just a different set of skills. Yeah. And so, okay, for example, when you have new babies, okay, you're nursing and you're tired and you're like, am I a milk station and you feel trapped and you have these sort of natural feelings. And your life is shifted. You're getting used to that. Because even if you go, hey, I have someone who's going to watch my baby for an hour and I'm going to go just. take a walk. What's interesting is you sort of can't wait for that. And then you walk out the door and within three minutes, especially when your baby's new and young, you're like, I need to get back there. That is a trip. Is that really how it is? It's like this constant,

because that's your, that's nature. That's so great. Like I remember somebody handing me my first daughter and I thought, I don't know what to do, but I will figure it out because your instincts and everything. So this is a gift that we have it. So you're sleep deprived when they're little and you're going to adjust in your relationship and there's going to be a whole new language that you add. And then they're little and it's cute and you just hope they don't hit their head on everything or kill themselves on stairs. And so there's an energy level. But then they turn into like 11 and 12 and they're very smart people. And, they're really different than you, and it's also different than what you expected and you were

projecting on them. And then they have to go through certain things that you would hope, oh, I was hoping that if I just was like a decent person and like in a good relationship, I could avoid that. And it's just, it's the real learning. So when you hear the Buddhist talk about like, oh, they're your greatest teacher, they don't know how to drive and they're not going to teach you about really good rock and roll. But the truth is you love them so much that you will adapt. I've changed more in three years than I probably did, except maybe in the beginning part of my marriage, because my love, especially for my middle daughter, is so high. Not that I love her more, but she entered into being a teenager, so she really put me through it first. Because my oldest

daughter is my stepdaughter, and so her and I actually were pretty fluid the whole time. She saved all her stuff for her biological mother. Right. So when my middle, my daughter came through, I was like, oh. And at first, it's really uncomfortable. What does it do with your relationship with your husband? When they're first born? Yeah. Did he anticipate having four women in the house?

Oh my God, you should see him. I feel like the same thing's going to happen to me. You should see him today. He is so suffering. He is so like girl overloaded. You know what he said to me? He said today because he came back, okay, normally we live in Hawaii this time of the year for Laird to go surf big waves.

But our youngest daughter is, you know, very bossy. and pushy and she's like, I would like to go to conventional school. And then my middle daughter's playing tennis. And it rains a lot in Kauai. You cannot play tennis. So we are sort of pivoting right now. That's what you do. You adapt.

And he flew back in there surf in Hawaii, big surf. And he's suffering. And I could say to him stay there, but because he loves his family, he's like, no, I miss everyone. But today he's like, and I, you know, I'm just here kind of waiting for something to happen. Because also we say we're leaving, you know. And it's like, he's like, Is that man minutes or is that wo man minutes?

Like, what is that really? You know, he is like very, his insight on females is pretty spectacular. I mean, I imagine with four in the house, no, I want to like, I want to be a fly on the wall to see. Because when I think of Laird, I think about so many things, but that clip, he's running around, basically saving Kauai and saving lives. Sure, sure. And then he's going home and he's with four women. And it's just, I want to see like a fly on the wall, him outside the house and then him inside the house. I know.

That looks like, because I imagine it's pretty hilarious to watch probably. Since this episode is so wellness themed, let's take a quick break to talk about my favorite vitamin ritual. So if you guys have been listening to this podcast for a while, you know I have been on ritual for like, I think like a year and a half, maybe two years. I was on the essential for women for a while and then obviously I switched to the prenatal once I got pregnant. If this was a totally planned pregnancy, I probably would have gotten on the prenatal sooner. but either way, both are amazing. If you're an obsessive label reader like me, they use all vegan certified non-GMO, gluten-free and allergen-free ingredients, which we love.

And they have everything on their website laid out for you to see in a really clear way, which I like. It's concise and straight to the point. They don't have any weird, shady additives in their vitamins. There's no synthetic filler. Nothing extra. You know what I mean? You know what you're getting with ritual.

It's full of vitamin D, but it also has a bunch of vitamin D. but it also has a bunch of other amazing ingredients. You'll find things like omega 3, borin, iron, and a bunch of other ones that are amazing. Rituals super committed to showing you the nutrients where it came from and why they chose it. They call it traceability. Very into this. I feel like we need to have the founder on the podcast sometime soon to really break it down. So what I like to do now that I'm pregnant is I like to take them after I eat breakfast.

It has like a lemony taste. The essential for women has a peppermint taste so you can't go wrong here. I think this is an important point, too, that I haven't pointed out to you guys, but they use a vegan algal oil. And it's instead of a fish oil. And this comes from a fermentation of microalgae, which is insane. You can look it up on their site. Anyway, so straight to the point. Daily changes can lead to big results.

So start small today. Ritual's offering all TSC, him and her listeners, 10% off your first three months. Try it out. Satisfactions guaranteed. All you have to do is go to ritual.com slash skinny to start your ritual today. That's 10% off your first three months at ritual.com slash skinny. All right, back to Gabby. It is.

It's a little superhero cape, you know? It's a little like, you know, he comes home and he's the dad. So he's the, it's funny. Daughters are with their moms, typically, it's like, hey, hit the mark. Like I'm supposed, I should sort of be able to anticipate some of their needs based on their life or mom, I need that. Or then they need a bra or whatever. But dads, it's like your first boyfriend. And so I remember when the girls were younger, if one was sitting on the couch next to him and one would walk in the room.

I'll be a little jealous. It was like, are you sitting with her? So it's like, love me, you know, okay, dad, will you lay with me? You know, when they're little and things like that. So it's a really interesting thing to watch. And I think it's very hard on men because they, and also daughters can say stuff to their dads that no wife or girlfriend or partner can get away with. Oh, yeah, because, you know, like, well, she can say. because you know the dad's never leaving.

It's your dad. And they say stuff and you're just like, oh, and you might even as the partner have had thoughts, like, wow, he really sometimes is da-da-da. And you don't say it because you go, in the end, is that going to be good for the relationship? Probably not. Is it something he really should change or it's a moral issue? No. Some quirky thing he does.

And then also one of your daughters turns like nine or ten and they throw out the zinger. But to go back to your question about the marriage, I will say that. What are we in for here? No, every couple's different. This is what I believe is that when the baby comes, don't walk in and be like, how's mommy doing? Because she's already super mom, right? Like you're nursing, you're shifting, your whole life's different.

I always thought, I always tell guys, listen, treat your partner with a new baby like she's your girlfriend. That makes sense. Yeah, that's smart. And keep uplifting her that way because the sequence. for this. Good advice. I hope you're writing this down. No, it is. You know why? Because it's actually good for you. Why? You treat her like that energetically. She's aiming that at you, the flower, not I'm a mom and like, you know, all that. And so I think the best way we can support one another is, at least in the beginning, because she'll be more vulnerable, is just to remind her also in that way. Because you're also getting kind of reintroduced to yourself. Like your body's just different. temporarily, by the way, you're like, oh, I have this person and I love them so much and I'm here. And so if we can have that, I think it kind of just sort of kind of kindles that energy between

the two of you. And then for you, when you're really, really tired, you still have to make time for sex. Because if you... I'm pretty good at that. Yeah, she rallies. You know, I was really excited for you to meet. Yeah, but you have a new baby and you'll be like... I mean, not to be gross. How, how PG are you on this? We're not PG. Okay. I mean, let's tell me nothing that hasn't been Even if it's like, okay, blowjob or whatever, like you don't want to deal with getting anything going on down there yet. I think it's also important because he should be able to say, well, okay, of course you just had

a baby. I don't need any of that. And he wants to, but he would be really stoked if you either made love to him or, you know. Yes. How quickly can you have sex after you have a baby out of your vagina? Everybody's different. You have to deal with your doctor. I'm not getting into that.

He's like, I'm not here for that. Well, you know, I was excited for you to me because you and I have already spent time together and we got along right away. I think there's some commonality here. I'm attracted with women to masculine energy, but also to a very feminine woman. And I think that there's sometimes people have one or the other. It's hard to like balance it. And I think that there's so many mixed messages here.

You're obviously married to an extremely masculine man. Yeah. And you have masculine tendencies like my wife, but you're also feminine. And I want to talk about that because I think, you know, I have two sisters and we have a daughter come in and I think there's a lot of young women listening that's like you can kind of be both and you don't have to be like rah rah rah go go all the time like let a man be a man but also you know like explore your masculinity but like I think both sides like men and women have to have both sides by the way his mother is very very masculine with feminine energy too it's very interesting

well that's probably why he likes it yeah he's a familiar she never babied me right she was always like all right come on yeah yeah get out there get going yeah I think you know it's interesting I think part of the reason, like in my case, I chose Laird, I mean, it starts already, I'm six foot three, right? Literally, if someone's like looking down, if I go to a desk to get something like at a public place, if they don't look at me, they'll be like, can I help you, sir? Because I just see the shape, which I totally understand. Because I take up a certain amount of space, right? So I think, you know, at the end of the day, it's really just about what's inside of you

and all of the ways that you want to express yourself. I really understood how I could skew so much to the masculine, like being in sports, being even in my natural personality. And so I think when I met Laird and he is very masculine in that sense of like there's something dying or there's a flood or there's a fire, that's actually out of my wheelhouse. So I think it really was somebody that I could turn the wheel over to that I trusted. And I think that's important. And like if you turn the wheel over in the moment that you're with the person and you say, oh, no, you've got it. You actually have to let them drive.

Sure. You can't try to grab it in mid possession. And then what happens is you get that trust going. And for me personally, I got to express a whole other side of myself the notion of service. Because like when you're in your masculine and you're going to work. And yeah, you can do a good job and you can be of service. But I do think there's an interesting level of service. you get no paycheck.

A K. Laird thanks me for dinner. But like with your kids and stuff, it's like, no, you're doing it because that's what you want to do. You're not waiting for a thank you or a good job, and you're certainly not getting a paycheck. And it stretches you in a person in a different way, and you also some days go like, you know, F everyone in this house. And that happens too. But I think for me, what it was is it was an opportunity to just try to expand the certain traits that I couldn't get in work. You can only get them through certain types of relationships.

You know, I think you're always trying to balance it out. I heard something really interesting, which was if the agreement is within the relationship, male, female, same sex, whatever, that one person is holding the feminine energy and one is holding the masculine, you're not allowed to switch. Like, let's say you get into a fight, you can't all of a sudden go, listen, this is how it is, unless you have an agreement or communication that you're switching. Because you'll see some couples as they get older, they even switch. The man all of a sudden.

Not even intentionally. Correct. And I think that that's what I want to get at. So I've agreed in my house that I would take on the feminine. But what I always know is that respect is everything. And it's always as simple as that. You know, my desire is to act in a way that the people I work with or my husband or even my children, ultimately, not every second, they respect me. And you'll find, I think, through time that that ends up being the most

powerful way to inspire, influence people that there is, not by force. Is there tools that you guys use to work on your marriage that have really helped? Yes, we almost got divorced in 2000. So you go, oh, that's not working. What can we do? and I think for us we bumbled through it a little harder. Like it's a different time now where people talk about that stuff. But I think it's first going, okay, you want to be here and I want to be here. All right, that's a pretty good start. Then what you start to get to is I don't actually need to be right.

I just let's work it out. And the other really kind of powerful thing, Laird was the one who taught me to apologize. I always say I'm very prideful and Laird was the one who taught me to say I'm sorry. And the other thing I learned was you and I could be having a discussion and I could be right, let's say, in quotes. But if you make a point that's important for me to hear, because it will make me a better person, even if it's uncomfortable to hear, you have to be willing to go, I acknowledge your point. Because then what you're doing is you're encouraging the person to tell you another time how they're feeling. And so you're always staying connected to where they're really at. And I think that that becomes the thing that you'll see with women that are just a little older

is if they've been in a relationship and especially with children, it's like you don't react as much, you don't say as much. And when I say especially with children, it doesn't mean that you're better off because you've had children. It's just you're in that environment a lot more where you realize things aren't so drastic and you can just let it ride. Like I don't go down a hole in the flirt and I get into something. You don't need to prove a point every time. Not only that, I realize it's probably not a big deal. And the other thing I always encourage people is like, it's like having, when you have a kid,

let's say the kid's been good all day long, and then they're at the end of the day and they're tired or they're acting badly. Well, you can't just respond to that. And so if people make deposits and they are loving and kind, then when they are going through something or whatever, you've got to give them that room. And listen, at the end of the day, and I can see it with the two of you, when you have chemistry with somebody, you can't therapy your way into chemistry. And I think that's really important for people to identify pretty early if they can, where chemistry will also help inspire you to get through some of the bumpier times. Is there a way that you and Laird start your morning together apart? Is it like to set you up for success?

Typically what we do is he gets up first. And even if I wake up right after him, I'm, I'm a way. I let him have space. Like he takes a shower. He goes down. He does something really great that he started doing like maybe 15 years into our marriage, which was like emptying the dishwasher every morning. So when I came down and I was dealing with kids breakfast, it was like I wasn't like unloading, loading and doing everything.

And then what he does that's very beautiful is he puts all the ingredients in for my coffee and it just sits there. So when I'm ready, I just put it in and hit the button and do that. I hope Michael is. I've been doing the dishes a lot lately. Really steady. Yeah, but you see, he's on. There's got a couple of years.

He's young. This is what I'm here. I got to have these conversations. He's young. He's young. He's young. I call it foreplay. Adult foreplay is like sweeping and like dishwashers.

And you're like, whoa, that is so hot. I'm going to give that to that guy later. I cleaned the bridge out the other day for you. But I'm just saying. I'm just saying that you don't realize those are the things. You're like, wow, I really appreciate that. And then I think after maybe 15, 20 minutes of him being alone and he's sort of looking outside and looking at nature and doing all that, I come down and we sit together and have coffee.

and visit. A thing I've spoken about a lot is I call it shiny eyes is I'm usually really in my head. Like I'm like, huh, how do I feel about that? You know, oh, wow, that's amazing, but you can't tell. And Laird is really out there with all his feelings. And so I used to come home and I'd see him in driveway and I'd be like, oh, there he is. I love that guy so much. But he would just see a face, straight face. So what I started learning, was it was really helpful if I projected just for a second. I'm really happy to see you because then everything was, it's the up cycle. He'd say, how was your day? And instead of like, what's up with you? Right? And then all of a sudden, we're in the up cycle, not the down cycle. And so what I try to do is when I say, when I'm going to see Laird for the first time in the morning, is that I'm pleasant.

That at least if I have a shot. Now, if I have heavy stuff going on, okay, you got to honor your feelings. But if I come down and I'm like, good morning and he's like, oh, she looks happy to see me, this sets a tone. And I find that in general. I find that if you walk up to people and you're like, hey, good afternoon or good morning, that's pretty much how your interaction is going to go. Hold up. I got a question. Michael, what the hell is going on in your man cave? Lorne, you know exactly what's going on in that man cave. I am juveing it up, guys. Juve. We've talked about this for the last few months. We had the founders on the show. This has to be the most game-changing product I've ever had in my life. I'm just really happy that Juve increases libido because

I'm going to need your libido really increased for the next week. I heard that sex makes you go into labor. Let me tell you something, Lauren. It's not just my libido that's going to increase. If you use the juve red light therapy, anyone can use this. You're going to have better skin, better sleep, reduce pain and inflammation, increase libido, better nails. Your circadian rhythm is going to be on point. Listen up. You better get all the sleep you can with the juve because there's not going to be a lot of sleep, Michael. So you can sit in the juve every single morning, use up every ounce of its energy and enjoy it why you can.

Let me talk about my routine. I wake up every morning, super early, go turn on the juve, stand in front of it for 20 minutes, front and back, do some stretching, and I feel completely on point. It wakes me right up in the morning, gets me feeling good, feeling energized, my skin's good, hair's good, nails are good, libido's on point. I'm telling you, this is what you got. This is the move, Lauren. Are you butt naked when you do it? I am butt naked on everything.

That's a visual. Well, what I like to do with my juve is I use the mini. I've told you guys about this. It's this mini juve. I turn it on. I write in the morning pages or do stoicism or just walk around my kitchen and just use it while I'm listening to a podcast. It's amazing and it wakes me up right away.

More than ever now, red light therapy is important. We sit under so many artificial lights. We're staring at our computer and phone screens all day long. and our circadian rhythm is completely messed up, which is why so many of us are not getting good sleep. So check out the juve. Go to juve.com slash skinny and use code skinny to receive a free gift with your purchase. That's J-O-O-O-V-V-com slash skinny, Jewv.com slash skinny. And check it out, guys. It's worth it. I'm telling you. Now back to the show. That's so funny because like probably three years ago, I turned to Michael and I was like,

you have to stop waking me up and talking about business and finances. And he stopped. he stopped doing it and now he wakes me up like a cat very slow dude pet you know strategically like very soft well i didn't realize you know i'm kind of like a turbo person so when i'm up i'm you go yeah you know and so that's laird and i'm like ready to you know if i if i open my eyes in the morning i'm like this right it's just how i am you're ready and so i did i had to took me some time to realize okay not everybody's like that i got to give them the the moment especially you're not talking about like balloons and stuff when you're talking about money and like really heavy details also the way an impact

women versus men is also different, right? Like we worry, well, is that okay? And you guys are like, well, it's fine, and we'll be strategic. And I'm saying more times than not. And so, yeah, that kind of stuff, you maybe not. See, I'm getting better though. It just, it took me some time.

How long have you guys been together? Well, we've known you shows, we're 12. That's weird. We haven't been together the whole time though. Wow. Were you kissing like at 16? We were kissing. Listen, I was, are you serious?

My dad found us naked in the closet. Wait, what? Not naked. It's happening. It's okay. Naked 16. like you're almost 17. Well, no, we were like 12, 13.

So hopefully if karma is real, I am in trouble. If karma is real. And her dad is just going to like laugh at me. Wait, you guys were date, like, liked each other at 12 or 13? I saw her. I told this story on the show. When I talk about chemistry. We have chemistry.

Okay, so you saw her and what? I thought she would, like, and I've told this story a million times, but I thought she was the substitute teacher because she was fully developed and I was like four foot one. Not that I've gotten much taller than that, but, you know, and I was like, holy shit. I'm like, here's a fully developed woman. I'm in sixth grade. Like, that's what I'm going after. Yeah.

And I didn't think I had a chance. Then we did the whole like dating kid kissing thing, 12, 13, broke up for forever. Yeah. And then got back together after we both had been in college and gone forever. And how did you stay in touch? Why were you in touch? He wouldn't leave me alone. Really?

When I see what I want, I got to go. You know what? You can appreciate that. I can appreciate that. And you know what? He's one of the most consistent people in my life. He's very consistent. He has a lot of integrity.

Sometimes she used to be like, that's kind of boring. I'm like, no, you're going to appreciate it. later, which is like stable. He's very, I know exactly what he's doing at all hours of the day. Yeah. Yeah, but still, okay, so to your point, that's something we appreciate, right, as we get older, because it's like, call me, and then he doesn't, you're like, I love him. And then you realize, like, oh my God, that guy doesn't love me. But it's interesting. So if you say another thing that's been helpful, and I try to do this naturally as a person, because then I feel happier or more peaceful, is every day going, you know, they don't have to be here. They don't have to be consistent.

They are because they choose, and that is the power position, right? And so I think for me, the other thing I've learned is Laird is very loving, very available, does all these things. And what I try to do is just remind him that I am aware and I'm not taking it for granted. Because that's the number one thing. There's nothing worse. than feeling like your partner doesn't really appreciate you. It just, because he and I've gone through periods, let's say there's just stuff going on, and even if it's like one day,

and I've been spoiled quite a bit by having a loving partner where if he seems distracted or something, I'm like, oh, you know, maybe Laird's not into it anymore. And so I think it's easy to overlook. It's like a well-behaved child. You know, I think like my youngest daughter has been most, overtly verbally demanding. And I really try to catch myself and make sure that I don't overlook when the other girls are like hitting the marks. And just say to them, hey, I really appreciate

just everything that you do and how you handle your business and all those things. And I think it goes such a long way in a marriage when you're like, I really appreciate you. You know, it's a subtle. You know, it's funny. What's you telling me, this is in line with this kind of, but you were telling me, like somebody was talking their day and they say, when you become really successful, will people stop checking in on you? Because like, oh, that person's good. Like, they stop saying thank you. They stop checking in.

They stop, you know, check in on the people that maybe are struggling or not performing well. Yeah. But for people that are doing everything, hitting all the marks, people are just like, oh, okay, forget it. They're good. Yeah. But it's nice to be able to go in and say, hey, I appreciate that or appreciate you or whatever. And once in a while, just go, are you good? Yeah.

You know? Yeah, that's important, too. I think it's that simple where these very brave, high performing people and just check in and go, are you good? That's really important. And I think to simplify your communication, don't brush things under the carpet. Laird is certainly the master of, I mean, literally, I can be half a day if I'm acting like a weirdo or preoccupied. He's addressing it. So I think that that's been helpful in our marriage is things don't get swept under the rug. If someone acts in a way that the other doesn't appreciate, I think it gets spoken to pretty directly. So it gives you an opportunity to kind of fix things along the way instead of build a big mountain. and then for the two of you, because you work together, you will have to also, you know, continue to go in and out of those languages. Right? Like I work with Laird, it's the best when I have to go over with him over his schedule and he's pissed.

And I'm like, no, it's your schedule. Like, it's not my schedule. It's your schedule. And by the way, it's for your business. You know, but then conversely, it's allowing that. Because what I love about him is like a free spirit. He just generally wants to be with his family and be in nature. And so instead of reacting, I have to remind myself, hey, that is connected to everything I love about him. He's not going like, you know, oh, I want to amass more money and I want bigger house and fancier cars.

He really, what makes him happy is pretty straightforward. It's not easy to find, you know, not necessarily like the ocean doesn't deliver all the time, but it's something I really appreciate about him. Yeah. When he just came out with his book, how did he like doing that tour? I'm sure he Oh, yeah, no. Well, you know, it's both. I think, you know, that's another part about being a grown-up.

When you say yes to something, you're, be professional and show up. And so that's, you know, when people get that bad behavior, I'm like, you're getting the bad behavior. Because if you have the opportunity to do any job like that or this, you're pretty fortunate. If you agree to do it, then do it. How often are you guys now back and forth, Kauai, here? Larry just got back two days ago and then we're here. We used to base out of their six months of the year from November to April, but I'd say probably for the next little bit of time, we will be doing less of that.

And the kids here or there? He probably doesn't love L.A., I would think. Well, you know, listen, you know what's interesting is there's a reason all the people come to Los Angeles, because if you really pay attention, it's a great place. It is, but being pregnant now and there's no nature, I've struggled with that. I want snow or I want a ranch or I want Until you have to like clean your driveway or like snow plow your way out of someplace It's harder to get around

Yeah, it is. You know, we live in a pretty natural area in Los Angeles Because he doesn't function well around lots and lots of people Because he is more kind of primal and natural So he isn't like, it's fantastic, I'm on the 13th floor He's like, if something happened, this is the last place you'd want to be they shut off your water and garbage collection and then where are you at? Like that's how he thinks.

So, but you know, you come here and it's sort of like when people talk about the U.S. or America or whatever, I'm like, listen, the best of the best, the worst or the worst. Like Los Angeles has so many amazing things about it. The nature, like, okay, you have mountains nearby. You have the ocean. You can go hiking. You can do all these things. And you know what you could say to somebody, I'm going to dream to build a company and do this thing.

and they go awesome. Yeah. They wouldn't say, oh, it's going to be really hard. So you just have to take it all together and this is where businesses are and where you learn new things.

We got invited to, this is a tangent, but I just thought about it when you were talking about being up in this building. We got invited this disaster preparedness thing here in L.A. Yeah.

Whereas like, you know, all these people were like, oh, what happens in natural disaster? And my instinct was like, okay, in a natural disaster, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. I'm like, you know,

spent a lot of time with my dad and uncle growing up. So I was like, these people were like, okay, well, if I can grab one thing, it's like a family photo, I'm like, you people, all I'm going to do is be better than 99% of you and I'm good. And I think about how funny it would have been if they brought you and Laird there, because people in L.A., I mean, it's a great city.

Yeah. But we're in some trouble here if shit goes wrong. Like, people just are not equipped. Christopher Ryan wrote a book called Civilized to Death. And I think sometimes when we've gotten so far, and I understand why we have so far from the earth, that I think that's part of like the unsettling, the feeling that people have or like even some of the unhappiness, it's because just because we could

do 75 things at once and be on our phones and just doesn't actually mean physiologically or biologically that we're equipped. And so I think it's, you know, we just have to be careful. And I don't know. And I'm, I have to be careful because I sort of go, all right, I'm a little, I'm, you know, I'm a little bit older. So I come from a different generation. And I'm married to somebody who is, you know, a little higher percentage of, you know, he came from the end of the road. If you ask Larry, I go, Laird, why do you know how to fix that? He goes, because where I grew up, you couldn't buy a new one. Like, you just had to figure it out is sort of understanding how it really impacts how people

are living, how they're connecting, how they're communicating, masculine feminine. Like, it's all, I think it can be confusing. It was scary. I mean, people were in mass hysteria because they figured, what if a disaster hits, the cell phone towers are going to go on the cell phone tower. Like, how are we going to survive without our cell phones? I'm like, the same way people did for thousands and thousands of years before we had them. But it's like they're literally crippled and stuck in place because they wouldn't have access to a cell phone. I'm like, okay, that's that now we're getting to a dangerous place. If we can't navigate human life without this device.

Yeah. Well, it's the addiction of it. Yeah. I'm in it too. I have to catch myself. We always joke, we're like, you know where north is? Huh? Do you know where north is? Where's east? Huh? Ooh. And so I think anything about being human, which is like, like, We need to have people that we're connected to. We need to feel safe. Also, I think sometimes just once in a while really unplugging, hearing our own thoughts and feelings and going like, what the hell am I doing here? Like, what do I want to do? Because it's easy just to observe, I watch it with my kids, what everyone else is doing.

What do you think are generation millennials, I don't want to say is doing wrong, but you see is maybe a potential problem? obviously the cell phones, but is there anything else that you see? Quick break to talk about my hospital bag. That's right. I'm going to do a breakdown on Instagram stories of what's in my hospital bag, but you better bet your ass that smart sweets are involved. And here's why.

There's two reasons. The first reason is that I heard when you're in labor, you can't really eat, but you can suck on things. And Michael, don't get excited because I will be sucking on the peach rings, okay? Another reason is Michael gets hypoglycemic. We all know this. This is a fact. So to have smart suites in my hospital bag ready to go to throw at you when you're complaining about a pinched nerve in your neck will be very efficient.

I have a confession. I keep them in my briefcase. Keep them in my drawer of my office. But I like the sour blast buddies. All right. Well, load your pockets up when you go to the hospital. If anyone wants to send me some sourblast buddies, I am receptive. I don't want to hear one complaint about how you're hungry while I'm going into labor.

All right. So smart sweets. We've talked about them before on the podcast and on the blog. They're basically this candy that's filled with fiber. and they don't have any added sugar, artificial colors or artificial flavors, which is awesome. So lower sugar and calories than traditional candy, but the taste is not compromised. The integrity isn't compromised at all. These are the kind of candies that you want to put in your handbag when you go to the movie theaters.

You can't go wrong. To get some smart sweets of your own, use code skinny 15 for 15% off your order of $30 or more on smartsweets.com. They ship to the continental USA and Canada. personally, I think you should try the peatrings to start. They're so nostalgic and good. All right, back to the show. Well, let's start off by saying what they're doing right. Okay?

So what I see from my group was, okay, I was born in 1970. So, you know, 80s was like, I got to get, get, get, and more. And this is when a different type of greed occurred on a corporate level, on a personal level, you know, banking, what have you. We sort of started really the damage of the plan. planet, right? Because I think about that with my kids. I go, we go, you have to fix it. And here you go. Here's your broken toy. Fix it. And they're like, oh, thanks a lot. Right. So I think it's also about our group acknowledging and participating in kind of how sort of off the path things have

gotten because now companies are churches, right, and they control what goes on in the climate of our politics and our religion, if you will. So is it pharma? Is it? Farma? Is it? is it, whatever. It's, those guys are in charge. And that was on our watch, right? And I think the other thing that I'm trying to learn is not to go suck it up, right? Because that's how I grew up. Oh, suck it up. Like to your group, oh, cry babies, you know, suck it up. And I don't think that's it. I think it's trying to make sure that your generation knows really how to connect because it's hard. It's a real distraction. And also, it's a little bit like what I like about them is they're not trying to amass big fortunes.

They're into experience more than, you know, other things. But it's also how do we go just a little deeper? They're acquiring all this information and they see all these things and they even have these experiences. But it's like, okay, but let's slow it down and can we just go down a little deeper? So it's not about what they're doing right or wrong. It's just by the nature of how they're being impacted by their involvement. environment. And it's just saying, how do you put a system in place to really be together? Because at the end of the day, we could have it all, we could know it all. Because through the phone, right, you can know it all. You can see it all. But, you know, your own humanity and the ability to be still, the ability to choose because that's what you want, not because that's what will look good. And all of those things. And you guys have a pressure on you that we didn't. You just, everyone chimes in. Everyone's got an opinion. And I think at some point, you know, the notion of like live and let live, I think that would be okay in a certain way.

I just interviewed somebody who is a scientist and he was talking about, you know, quantum physics and this and that. But really, he said everything is about empathy. So I think it's tough for your group. I think it's a... We're on the cusp a little bit. We didn't get... Lauren and I, well, at least me personally, I think you're probably the same, didn't get the smartphone until after we got out of college. Right?

So like we had, what is that, 21, 20? plus years of navigating the same way everybody else did. And then obviously the phone's changing. But like what, 2007 and eight was social media, right? Yeah. So like I, we finished school 2008. Okay. Yeah. So it was like right. I mean, I always think that, thank God social media and those things didn't exist back then. Oh yeah. Me too. I'd be in some trouble. But I, you know, I think you're right. It has to be, both generations have to be looked at because we hear all the time, the seat that I sit in. We're with a lot of young people, a lot of young millennials that are working hard, working their ass off. but you hear it all the time like oh they're entitled and my response to that is always like well

they wouldn't be if the generation before didn't maybe make them entitled right they didn't give them all those things yeah and so I think it's like it has to be a study of both the previous generation and the current generation not just one or the other I think so it's a tapestry that's fully connected and that's why I want to continue to participate in the conversation so I can learn so I can participate on my side to make it better but I will say also attention span it's a little different. You know, it's what it was, it was seven or 12 seconds, I don't know, 10 years ago, and now it's like four seconds. And that isn't a fault of their own. It's a fault of what they're living. This is the device and the amount of communication and text and the speed in which it's all

coming at them. And now you have like, oh, have you ever seen TikTok? I mean, you know, it's like that, okay, zip, zip, zip. I mean, my kids will plug that in in my car. And I'm like, listen, if you want to watch that, that's fine. Don't put it on my car radio so that I have to hear every 10 seconds. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're 50, if you're 80, or if you're 10 at some point. It's like we're supposed to kind of take in information and we'll catch up. That's the other side of it.

I do think I have a friend we always talk about it's an experiment. And right now we're still kind of figuring that out. I think it'll come to a place where we understand where it lives. it might be even scary where it ends up living. I don't know. But I think it's always about trying to figure out blending, like where we are and also attributes that we think from before that are important. Like nobody ever is worse for walking in the park or going to the beach and just, you know, breathing in some salt there and looking at a sun. You take any kid, I don't even care where they're from. You take their phone away for an hour. Yeah, they're freaked out for a second, but you go

do something with them, they like it. And I think so it's just, you know, who are we as humans and where are we trying to fit into the world that we live in and what does that really look like? But I don't want to be one of those, okay boomer, you know, like I don't want to be one of those people that it's like, well, because it's just, it is what it is. But, you know, it's interesting, like nobody is going to get married, which is probably a construct anyway. You know, My kid, my kid, my have a 60-year-old, I'm like, don't you want to get your license, you know? She doesn't care? She doesn't care.

Yeah, but now she's starting to care. But it's just interesting. Did she have access to like Uber's and stuff? Because, you know, we didn't have that. So we needed the license. Well, of course she does. That's why she doesn't care. Yeah, she doesn't, well, I mean, why would you?

I know. I mean, when I see it, I'm like, I used to beg my mother, like, you need me go to the store, you want to get milk, anything just to get the hell out of the house and get freedom. I got my license the first second. Of course. Of course. Yeah, I'm out. That was like people counted down the days.

Yeah. I'm one hour in 47 days away. But that was our way to peacock. That was our way to spread our feathers at our age. Like to have the car and like drive up with the loud music playing. Totally. Like that was our way to show off. And so nowadays that's not the way to show off anymore.

It's like what you were saying. It's about more about experiences and what Instagram followers do you have. Yeah. It's a different way to get attention, which is so interesting. Oh, yeah. wait, I can't wait to your daughter is 13. Because you guys are hip and cool right now. Ha, ha. No, I'm on the decline. In 13 short years, you will be like, these kids, you know. I want to be cool in 13 years. No, she's saying you're not going to be. I know. I still want to be

cool. No, you just have to keep learning. And you just have to keep your mind open. And you know, the guy that I was talking to Spiros today, he was saying belief and knowledge can really hurt you in the way that like, well, I know or this is what I believe. And maybe what we do as we get older is can we keep that concept expanding? It doesn't mean like, well, I used to believe that telling the truth was important and now I don't. I'm not talking about the real pillars of living, kindness and things like that. It's like, okay, well, I used to kind of think that or believe that, but I'm going to be open and see what else is going on. And it's tricky because also our brains get hardwired a certain way and we go, well, that's just how it is. And then we expect our kids for their brains to be hardwired our way.

And they're just not. And luckily for you guys, you'll have a kid that you'll have a, maybe, I don't know with technology, though. Because I actually had a closer experience with my parents' age, even though we didn't go to war. They went to Vietnam. But closer to them than my kids just because of the entrance of technology. My kids have their experience in this world is probably more different. that group than any before in the history of man.

Yeah. It was closer, right? So I think there's no magic bullet. I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all, like in marriage or parenting or relationships. I think it's about saying how you're feeling, trying to see what the other person is saying, like really understanding, like, where are they coming from? And listen, the heavy thing is always to go like, oh, when am I reacting? Oh, that's my ego. It's very simple that way.

How do you check your ego when you feel like you're living in your ego? Well, don't you feel it? Like your teeth are out and you're all like, they're not going to talk to me like that. Yeah. And you're out of your power. And so I think, and again, I've had more practice, but you start to go, who am I trying to be? And so when I do things that are, you know, out of flavor and out of character of who I'm trying to be, I go, okay, take a second. because I believe real power, real strength, it is from love. It is not from fear. And ego is connected to fear. Like for me, when I get fearful, what do I do?

I get aggressive. It's a great move. Like, I'm not that kind of, I'm like certain women will be like, oh, you know, like I'm crying. Oh, no, I just get super aggressive. And then I go, oh, there she is. Oh, there's that scared person. So the idea is that you would get older with each year.

it's like, well, how do I get more in love from love and be more powerful? And recognizing it is that. A lot of times we say like, well, they're not going to treat me like that. And we go, oh, that's weakness then. No, there's a way to put up boundaries and say, like, I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me or that makes me feel uncomfortable. And you can be super clear, but you can stay in your power when you can be from love. And you lose your power, you lose control when you're in anger or fear.

So that takes some practice, for sure. What are some tools and tactics that you use in the wellness space, just in general? Sleep? Sleep. Like, is that cryotherapy I know you're big on? I do ice. Ice tubs, but it's hard to access that. Are you in that sauna with the oven mitts?

What's going on in there? That is ridiculous. That's my husband's idea. It's a dumbest. And who's dumb? I'm like, okay, I'll try. Did you do it? Yeah, I do it.

It's awful. You got awful. He's in a, like, how hot is that thing? 220. 220 degrees. It's so hot that he's in an assault. bike in the sauna and he's wearing oven mitts because it's too hot to hold. And the fan moves, you're in a salt bike and then so you're whipping yourself with hot air.

So you're hot, it's 220, you know, heat shock proteins, I mean, or nothing, right? The joke is like, we're like, well, we don't have the science on it so we don't actually know that it's helpful. But if, okay, so the king would be in self-care sleep. Like when the baby comes, you all are going to have to be really kind to each other because it's just going to be sleep deprivation. That's what it is. You don't all of a sudden turn into an asshole. You're just tired. So you'll be like, oh, my baby's tired, meaning the two of you. And then, I mean, listen, the only reason I really exercise and, and try to eat well is to deal with life. Sure. You know. Well, there's so many people that don't. I want to talk about that a little bit because I've been getting,

you know, some, I'm in this big initiative here. It's like everybody, yes, should be happy and with their body and all of those things. Oh, the look, you mean. The look. I mean, like, you know, I don't buy, I don't like the cop-outs. Like, well, if you're happy with your body, like, that's fine. You could, like, fine. No, I get what you're saying. You still have to be a healthy person and exercise and be, like, and it's to deal with life and to age properly and to make sure that you're healthy for your kids, for your family,

for your friends, whatever. People, like, you know, there's this big movement going on. I was like, well, you know, I'm confident with who I am and I like how I look, so I don't need to do those things. It's like, no, that's such a cop-out. That's an excuse, in my opinion. Are you getting it in trouble for saying that? Of course.

Okay, perfect. everything I say. But I don't like that people are using this thing. It's like, well, I'm happy now, so I don't have to take care of myself. It's like, no, like there's this big movement going on. It's like, take care of yourself. You're going to die early. You're going to be sick. So, okay, so let's back that up. Sure. Let's look at if you just drive down any street, okay, look what food, maybe not in Los Angeles, is readily available. Yeah, it's not good. It's not even food. No. And so what we have to start with is the understanding that, people are not actually set up for success, even when they want to be. That food that they have

access to, that's affordable, that tastes good is not great for you. So it starts there. Now, you want to add, like, maybe they've had a trauma or one, something in their younger life. Because people will say also, oh, I inherited my parents' genetics. No, you didn't. You inherited their lifestyle. And so I think there's so many different things at play, if they've had some kind of real trauma, they didn't get educated about it. And then they're adults, they're trying to keep the lights on and the stuff that's easiest to grab also has a medicating component. These foods are, it's like, okay, alcohol, fast food, whatever. It's has a, and life is tough, right? So let's start there. But if I was going to say, hey, if we could just put together something really

simple and why would it be important? Because our vessel, it is meant to move. Doesn't mean you have to kill yourself at the gym. Yeah, don't need to be in the salt bike with the sauna. You don't. You just, you just kind of need to move around. And if people are not losing the weight or whatever, the beast is food because it is an addiction and we do it when we celebrate, we do it when we're sad, we do it when we're lonely, we do it when we're bored, we do it when we're heartbroken, and there's a lot of it everywhere and a lot of choices. So real food, and we usually probably could eat less than we do. We don't really need that much food. It's just the truth of the matter. And I think it's also, and it starts here, it's got to seem important to somebody.

The idea, and it is not about like, I'm looking sassy in my jeans. And by the way, there are some people that the only way to motivate them is to tell them your butt will look good. Fine, whatever it takes. But that ultimately one of the greatest gifts that we have is our health and ask anyone who's lost it and they will tell you they are not dreaming of a cruise or a giant new house when they're in a hospital bed. They're dreaming of health and their loved ones. What do you think about fasting before I got pregnant. I was doing intermittent fasting and loving it. Great. I think that's just to be kind of a part of our day. You know, everything nowadays is like a trend. I would be, I would be careful of trends in that way that eating green stuff has probably always been good.

Eating less than more is probably good. Probably good. Well, it's amazing how little food we actually need when people overeat way too much. The portions in this country are crazy. Crazy. I thought I'm batting on America, but it's true. So you just don't need as much as you think you do. Right, because that goes back to my generation of value, right? More, for less, must be better. And, you know, hence, big gulp. Like, do you really need 64, 72 ounces? No, it's insane. And by the way, like, so with my kids, I used to say, okay, there was this guy that used to do, eat this, not that. I don't know if you ever saw it, like, men's health or men's fitness or something. I think it's men's health. David, I can't remember David's last name.

This, not that. And so he'd have a picture of like a 16 ounce soda and eight chocolate chip cookies. And it was like, oh, so also it's like, how do we make it so it's tangible and not like talking about the mitochondria because people's heads are going to explode. Like, what? Like, what are you talking about? So just saying, like, less real, always eat real. When in doubt, drink water. Like, if you're traveling and you can't find anything to eat for real, you can hold off most times. Bed is important. We only recover when we sleep. So it doesn't matter how much we biohacks. So your groups end all the biohacking and stuff. And there's nothing really that replaces hard work. and the real stuff, there just isn't.

I mean, Lauren, whenever, if I'm ever getting off point and I'm out of control, and she's like, she'll be the first one, say, like, go to the gym, go get shit, like, go run, go do something. It's true because as soon as I do it, I'm like, okay, feel better, I'm nicer person, I'm more calm. And I think, like, I'm not asking people to go out there and go crazy. I mean, listen, we got to talk about your pool at some point, but I'm not asking people for that. I'm mostly just saying, like, get out there, move, do something. You'll feel better. Like, if you're depressed person, you can't be struggling and pushing your body.

and be depressed at the same time. It's just not possible. Like you'd get those endorphins going. There's so many people like, okay, I don't need to do that anymore. And I think it's causing, it's a huge problem. Well, and the problem is, is because then we have something so easily to distract us away from that. So it's easier. Hell, for me to sit here right now and be it, look on my phone, I train this morning and the pool was freezing and I did not want to go, but I did. And when I was doing it, I wasn't like, this is so fun and amazing. I was like, no, this is the difference. This is the difference on how my day is going to go. This is the difference of if I have the opportunity to put in one more layer of work and do something when I don't feel like it,

that's the difference. What does training look like for you? Well, my training is pretty rigorous. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I usually do a land-based circuit training. And then Tuesday, Thursdays and Saturdays. I do ballistic underwater training, so dumbbells in either three feet of water or 11 feet of water. It's really good because as a person who's biologically been around for a minute, nicer on your joints, but you can really train hard without pounding yourself. And I try to get breathing sessions in here and there. All the stuff, the yin, all the calm stuff, is the hardest for me. I'd rather get after it all the time and slowing it down and trying to be still

I'll tell you right now I'd most likely if you say Gabby go clean all the bathrooms in the house and get everything all organized or go sit and breathe for 10 minutes which would benefit me more I'd probably try to be doing because you know again dealing with one's self one's thoughts one's feelings

that's scary but if we're like moving and doing it so breathing for me is super important I talk about the importance a lot. It is not new. You know, we joke about like eating organic and bone broth. You know, people that are 90 are like, these guys are idiots. Like, this is just used to be part of a vernacular that people lived by. And nasal breathing, most of us are using our mouth. And so if we can, unless we're running sprints on a track, even if you guys are sitting at your office and sitting at your desk, be mindful of not breathing through your mouth. Why is that? Like if you could really get into the different benefits. So this is the science. So this is the science. science on it and I'll try to make it idiot proof, which means I would understand it, is if you ever see a free diver, they scrub their CO2, right? And why is that? It's to get rid of a compound that tells your brain, oh, it's time to breathe, right? You can override that. So if you go swimming underneath the pool and you go, oh, I'm out of air, you're probably not.

You probably met your CO2 first before you're actually out of air. So it's CO2 intolerance. there's a great book that really explains it called The Oxygen Advantage by Patrick McCune. But if we breathe in and out through our nose, and the ultimate would be to breathe deeply with your diaphragm. Okay. So ladies, for all of you out there holding your guts because you suck your stomach in and for your type aers, or for your super, you know, fit cross fitters, this is actually harder than people realize. You actually almost just have to let it be. And then you pull in, and I would say if you can't do it in the beginning on your own natural. When you breathe in through your nose, push your belly out.

Not you yet. But you could actually do this and it wouldn't be bad for your baby. And then you bring the breath up to the second part into the ribs. Now you see right away where you go like this, with your shoulders go up, that's called a vertical breath. What you want to try to do is this. Round. So the lats. So you could lightly put your hands on your ribs and the belly, then ribs should open, and then upper lats.

So a lot of times people when they first do this and then the belly button to spine, because also when we exhale, we don't want to compress. We want to keep that expansion. So bring the belly button to the spine. So all this stays open. The tissue around the ribs will start to open up. The ribs will open up. More room for the lungs. But most importantly, your CO2 in your system by nose breathing goes higher. So what does this mean? The oxygen that's in your bloodstream can go into the tissues and cells only with the presence of CO2. So if you're walking around mouth breathing all day, you're scrubbing your CO2. It's called like over-breathing under-oxygenated. It's like people who eat food that doesn't have minerals or macromicronutrients. It's overeating and you're malnourished.

It's the same with breathing. So this is why you get all these athletes that come in the pool and then you guys just kick their ass because they're not used to breathing like this. Well, no, when you hand people dumbbells and they're going in the pool, So when I see it, I'm like, okay, like, there's, I have a very healthy level of concern for thinking about what that process. I mean, have you ever looked at it? But, but also. Chris Tran is the one that introduced us. Oh, yes.

Yeah, so he films it. He tells me all about how crazy it is. You got to check this out. But also, you have to understand. We're not going to have someone come and it's a gradual. Yeah. And it's also an investigation. If I look at somebody in their eyes, they're looking good.

We'll go to the next. If they're not, I will adapt because you would be surprised how. How many people go, when I was seven, I almost drowned. When I was 10, my brother jumped on my shoulders. Or we have a lot of athletes, by the way, based on where they grew up, they had no access to water. So I always try to remind people, too, the bravest thing you can do is when you're not comfortable in the water or learn to swim when you're an adult. That's very brave. And so our goal always is to nurture people along.

Now, if you're really good or you get it, then, yeah, we're going to go. Are you and your husband competitive? No. Not at all. With each other? In life or? Oh. With each other. No, I know what she meant. Yeah, no. Not at all. It's not a good outcome. It's just not good. It's just, you know, I remember one time we were playing volleyball against each other, and he was mad about something or whatever, and then something else happened. And then I was driving the truck home, and Laird was in the back of the truck with

the dogs. Like, it's just, you know, this is what I say. And there are some couples that can handle it. like they they do like certain races and do all this stuff i our relationship is not good for that and so i'm here i'm lard's teammate and also on a side note there's just very few things i probably would beat lared at and so i'm smarter than that and i go yeah that's cool you know and uh how old is lard now he's 55 he is a machine if i only half as good as shape at that age i'll be You mean right now. I mean, always, but now still, I mean, it's pretty incredible. You have no idea.

I have athletes, professional athletes that are 30 years old. It's just a different relationship with pain and discomfort. And you're talking about a life dedicated overall to this because Laird's, you know, passion to be in the ocean and to perform at a high level is so high that, you know, who he's with and when he goes to bed and what he's eating and what he's thinking about, what he's reading, it's all to... Service all of that. Correct.

I really want to talk about the benefits of ice because my cousin was inspired by you and Laird and started doing ice bass. Okay. He was having the worst anxiety and depression and did every single thing to get rid of it and nothing worked. Okay. And now he's doing four ice baths a day and it's changed his life. He's lost 30 pounds.

See, that's the good stuff. I mean, it's crazy. He tells me it's from an ice bath that he does four times a day. he's rid this anxiety and depression. Can you kind of speak on that? Yeah. Well, it definitely is a mood elevator. You okay?

Yeah. Okay. I always feel like I have to pee my pants. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But I'm fine right now. I can hold it in. Okay.

And after you have the baby, make sure you can find somebody who puts your uterus, sets it back in place. Oh, what does that mean? No, no, it won't hurt. It's just we don't know. And there's been so much pressure that there's people who can take it and kind of gently massage it back.

It's just good. We'll talk about it after. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's good right after the baby comes. amazing. Yeah, it's good. You know, the thing with the ice is, there's more data on the heat than the ice, but it's mood elevation and hormone regulation. And if you think about it, the science would suggest that we are our guts, our gut health, you know, how we feel, our moods, our personal, the responses that we give and hormones, right? Think about when you had your period.

That's a perfect example of like hormones at work, right? And so the ice, I think the theory is that when you get in the ice, if you stay in versus like you get out right away, because your first impulse is like, I'm out of here because it's cold, it's 32 degrees, is the body goes, oh, okay, we're going to be here, then I got to get everything dialed because then you're going into survival mode. So we don't really get that opportunity in everyday life, not from a positive source, right? We can jolt ourselves in all these ways, usually by a negative stress, but can we create positive of stress in our life that helps us grow and expand. And I think that's another thing. We shy away from discomfort, but I think doing things that are positively uncomfortable, we will get incredible

results from. And it makes you just like you said, like mentally tougher. When you start your day with something so challenging, it's the rest of the day seems like a piece of cake. Yeah. And also you meet yourself. Yes. It's truthful, right? Like it is a come to Jesus moment for sure. You know, my team here, you've met a few of them now. They're completely fearful because I said, you know, Gabby said that the best way to vet all you people is to get you in the pool. It is. And see who,

what you're made of. Taylor back there, he's like, you know, he's like, you know, Taylor took a hike with me though and he had to come down after one minute. Everyone's here walking on angels.

I'm like, okay, now, you know, we got Gabby here. She's doing the show here. And like, there's a good chance that there's a possibility to get in the pool. And I'm going to be judging everybody. Yeah,

hopefully I don't tap out myself. Yeah, no, you can see a lot in the pool. like a heart surgeon. He did not take direction particularly well, and I gave him a task, and he didn't do it, but I was standing above him on the coping to watch and make sure, and we have water safety and whatever. And he was looking up at me. I could see him, you know, he was seven feet down or something. He had the two dumbbells. He was not making the right

decisions. However, he didn't freak out. And I was like, oh, there he is. There's the doctor right there. And, like, so in a way, he had his own idea. Like, I know how to do this. I was like, okay, but still in the critical, critical moment, he kept his cool. So I can see a lot of things. We can all see it where people, they get in the moment and they're stressed out because they have no error. And I always say to them, but even in that moment, you have to make good decisions. Like, would you try to swim up to the top with your dumbbells? Or would you go, oh, I think I'm done. I'm going to put my dumbbells down and actually swim up without the dumbbells. So you see all kinds of things. And the best part of it all is this.

The water is objective. It's not personal. But what it shows you, the most powerful thing it shows you is oftentimes being able to finish task completion is simply your ability to relax. That's it. And be efficient. Well, this time the pool was more narrow or the weights were lighter. No, you found the way within yourself to go, I'm uncomfortable. And I'm going to take a deep breath and I'm going to relax.

and I'm going to move through this as efficiently as possible. That's the energy I need for the pregnancy for the last stretch. Listen, it's scary. Having the unknown, having a child, you would not be, I mean, I guess there are certain people who, for whatever reason, they do it easily and it's no problem. And it's all good. So, you know, a lot of nose breathing, because the other thing about nose breathing is it down regulates you. It puts you in your parasympathetic, you're calm. when we breathe in our chest all day long, you know, like in the, then we upregulate, we go into our sympathetic and we're in fight or flight, you know.

And that's the other thing about the phones, everyone, is when you're hunched over, that position, shoulders folded over, looking at your phone, you are putting yourself in fight or flight. It's a fighter flight response because you're vulnerable. Think about this. When your shoulders are forward in nature, you're vulnerable. Oh, yeah, you're done. Yeah, and if you're walking around a city with your feet. facing your phone, you're, you're an idiot. Oh, so you told you got to watch out.

It freaks me out with cars and driving all over the place and flying off the road. This is a bad one that I do. No, stop doing that. I know. Because I worry because I'm like, you're not going to pay attention. Someone's going to run up on you hit you. And by the way, your kid's going to be watching you. And if that doesn't motivate you, your kid will be watching you.

They mimic you. And like, I always tell my girls, if I ever see you crossing the street with you looking at the phone, you are going to get it. And your phone is my. I don't even like people getting too close to me. Maybe there's a reason that I met. I met you today because I was doing that this morning. No, because I see our catcher sometimes.

I'll walk up. I'm not going to do it anymore. No, don't. It can wait. Whatever it is, guess what? It can wait. There's creeps out there, too. Like, I'm not kidding.

Like, people get too, you know, if you're in a crowd of space, you can't do anything about it, one thing. But like, people just like start walking up close, especially young women. How about stand up tall? Look where you're going. Who's around? You know what's going on. And participate. And walk across the street when you're walking across the street.

And when you're looking at your phone, look at your phone. Not everything has to be combined. And I think that. that if you say to me, what would I encourage the younger generation? Walk down the street, see stuff, look around, because that's where it all is, good and bad. And I think that we miss a lot by not just noticing. And sometimes it's like the most subtle thing.

Like you ever walk by a building and you see a guy or something up in his window or you catch something funny? It's like, this is all what's happening in life, real life. It's probably not as sexy as an edited Instagram. but there's so much beauty all around us and funny weird stuff happening all the time. And by the way, it is safer. You know, if I walked down the street, I'm also, people know that I know that they're around me. And also, while we're on the subject, what about emailing and driving?

No, you can't do that either. Yeah, you can't do that either. Have you done that a couple of times? No, I don't email and drive. Or sometimes. The red lights, he does. Oh, yeah. I'm a little turbo.

I got a point of me. It might be a yellow light. You got a point on me. Might be a yellow light. So normally at this point, we ask, what's next, but I know what's next because we're doing it. And I'm so excited. Thanks to you guys. Well, the podcast world needs your voice. I'm very, very excited. Your podcast is going to crush it so hard. I'm so excited for you. Who are the first, like, what are the, I know the first ones with Laird? It is Laird. I did, I didn't do. I interviewed Ryan Holiday. Okay. Amazing. We love Ryan. He's been on here a couple times. Yeah, he's a special person. You know why? Because he has his foot in the past and the future, I think, very beautifully. And he's, he's able to communicate. the importance of the past into the future. I really appreciated him. Rachel Balkevick, who is the first

female hired, she's a hitting coach for the Yankees. Oh, rad. I interviewed Dean Ornish and his wife. He's a doctor of medicine, and he happens to be vegetarian. I am not. And Rich Roll interviewed him like three days before me. So that was kind of fun. I interviewed today a quantum physicist, and I have interviewed there's been a of Neil Strauss who I used to do my old podcast with we used to do a podcast called

The Truth Barrel and so we're starting there I have a really good idea we'll see if I can pull it off Jen Aniston if you can hear me and Courtney Cox The regular listeners of the show

they've tuned in I'm sure you know they'll tell they love to hear my voice as they start their mornings I'm friends with both of them but I have an idea for both of them so that's my next one so my hope simply with this podcast

is to take people that are probably pretty good at what they do, whatever that is, and learn about that a little. I don't need to puke up their biography, but really say to them, okay, in all of those lessons that you learned in that, how have you brought this into your everyday life to help you function better as a human being? Because what I have sort of come to believe is, and even living with Laird, like greatness is great, you know,

and it's almost like you can fake part of greatness, like in your work or your art. But if we could try our best as people, as partners, as co-workers, as parents, and we could continue to improve. Because I think people go, well, this is who I am. And that is true. But I'm always interested in, like, the complete greatness.

And I've known many athletes that were business people who are so good at what they do. It's really lopsided usually, like either the collateral damage in their personal lives or just their own personal unhappiness. And so I want to get into like, you know, the small things of life because that's ultimately what we're really wrestling with, right? We're wrestling with, you know, love and fear in the future and if you have children or if you're in transition, like young people going like, now I have to take on the world or aging gracefully or whatever it is.

And so I'm sort of at a place now where I've talked a lot about performance. And that's cool and definitely plays a place. I want to share and talk about and open up a dialogue about some of the other things. Amazing. Yeah. We're super excited. I'm so glad you're doing this here. Well, thank you for having me into your family.

And it's called the Gabby Reese show. Yeah. I just am not that creative, I guess. No, I like it. I think it's a great name. We're going to call it Death by Domestication. but that didn't have a really... We're going to talk about that sometimes.

I'm just shocking. We can do a spin-off of that. And the whole premise of that is there's so much monotony in all of our everyday lives. So how do we make it artful? Even in like the everyday where you start to go, this too is a practice in a part of everyday life that has so much beauty in it. But yeah, that was... Death by Domestication.

That's a pretty good one. I know. I wrote a book that they was called, my foot was too big for the glass slipper, but I really wanted to call it death by domestication. Maybe that's your second book. Yeah. I think, I don't know if people will be domesticating. Do you think they will be continuing? You guys are still doing it. That's for sure. We'll see. You know, I got to be out there. You know, I got to be running around.

But I still want to come home, but I got to be out. You know, I got to be running around. I got to be chasing things, you know. Absolutely, you're hunting. Yeah, I have to be. As long as you're hunting for burgers. Yeah, I'm doing. I got it. Ice cream. Yeah. You're good. You know what I mean? And okay, so one thing I will say to young people, I want them to, if they hear this and they don't think I'm totally nuts or annoying, practice this for like one week, Monday through Friday, is see about saying, because a lot of times everyone is on their phone, so they don't actually say hi or anything to each other, that they walk around and every person that they actually have real locked in eyes, that they just go, hi, see what happens. In Hawaii, that's normal, right? I think you set down Joe Rogan's show.

I do it in L.A. I do it in L.A. all the time. You say hi. Hello. Good morning. How's it going? And granted, I am, again, I'm six foot three. So people usually just respond out of like, oh, my God, like maybe she won't attack me or something. But I have found that you will be surprised how many people want to connect and your day is just better. So take your face out of your phone for two minutes. It's not going anywhere. Let's go in with that vibe tonight in bed and tomorrow morning. I'm going to be saying, hi. No phone. No, not high like creepy.

That was a creepy That wasn't that? Wasn't that? Yeah. Well, you already got her knocked up. I knocked her in. You already got you. You did.

You did. You did. Enough with you. Hey. Somebody was somebody beat me up the other day. They're like, why aren't you doing this? And I'm telling her pretty and this. I'm like, listen, I anchor baby to her.

Of course. Like, that's the point. No, I need three compliments a day at least. I get it. Yeah. Don't we all? Thank you. Thank you guys.

And thank you for having me into your group. I really appreciate it. What is your Instagram handle where everyone can find you? I know everyone's going to want to find you after this episode. It's at Gabby Reese, G-A-B-B-B-R-E-E-C-E. And then the podcast of Gabby-R-R-E-C-E-S show all over every podcast platform, Dear Media, everywhere. But basically it's going to be everywhere.

You are welcome to come back anytime. I feel like there's so many different directions we could have gone with you. I mean, we can, kids, husband, wellness, help. Well, after you have the baby and you come up for air. And I get my uterus adjusted. Get that bad boy put back in place. Okay. Let's talk about how that's going.

I would love it. Maybe I can do an ice bath. Yeah. I might need to pick Laird's brain at some point and ask him. I mean, I only got the one daughter on the way. He's had some practice. I mean, he'd ask him a couple pointers. Don't know too much ahead.

Yeah. It's better just take the adventure. Yeah, I just feel like you're just going to have to surrender. And by the way, you might have like, our children are not very compliant. You know, like a, I doubt it. I do too. Listen, if Pym is a real thing, I'm in some real trouble. Yeah, I don't think compliance is going to be the vibe.

Thank you. Thanks, you guys. I think it's good fucking. Hustle. If you like this episode, make sure you check out Gabby's podcast, which is on the Dear Media Network. It's called The Gabby Reese Show.

And with that, we're off. But if you want to win a cute new heart-shaped, it's heart-shaped guys, not the sparkly one, Pop Socket. Tell us your favorite part of this episode on my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential. And as always, make sure you rate and review the show. We'll see you next time.

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