The Bossticks - Gary Vaynerchuk - How To Win In Life & Shift Your Mindset For Success

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

#699: Today, we're sitting down with Gary Vaynerchuk, also known as "GaryVee." Gary is a serial entrepreneur, the Chairman of VaynerX, and a 5x New York Times Best Selling Author. He is a leading glob...al mind on what's next in culture, relevance, and the internet. We sit down for a conversation about the importance of marketing and branding, and what companies are doing wrong when it comes to building a customer base. We also discuss motivation, how to cultivate a no-excuses approach, and how to shift your mindset to set you up for success.   To connect with Gary Vee click HERE To Pre-Order Day Trading Attention click HERE  To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To Watch the Show click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential This episode is brought to you by Cymbiotika Cymbiotika is a health supplement company, designing sophisticated organic formulations that are scientifically proven to increase vitality and longevity by filling nutritional gaps that result from our modern day diet. Use code SKINNY to receive 15% off your subscription at cymbiotika.com This episode is brought to you by Dreamland Baby Use code SKINNY at checkout for 20% off sitewide & free shipping at dreamlandbabyco.com This episode is brought to you by Primally Pure If you're tired of discomfort during your menstrual cycle, try the Cycle Soothing Spray from Primally Pure at primallypure.com/SKINNY and use code SKINNY for 15% off your order. This episode is brought to you by Nutrafol Nutrafol is the #1 dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement, clinically shown to improve your hair growth, thickness, and visible scalp coverage. Go to nutrafol.com and use code SKINNYHAIR to save $10 off your first month's subscription, plus free shipping. This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market Thrive Market is the go-to for all of your grocery and household essentials- and it's all conveniently delivered to your doorstep. Get 30% off your first order, plus a free $60 gift at thrivemarket.com/skinny or use code SKINNY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat-only therapy sessions. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy & you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/skinny. Produced by Dear Media

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by Mint Roller. Mint Roller by the Skinny Confidential. I am like freaking out. We just launched this compact, bite-sized, jet-setting ice roller that not only is an ice roller, it's a double your pleasure ice roller. One side is like a contour for your cheeks and jawline. And then the other side is for depuffing and more of like that ice roller feel.
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Starting point is 00:01:23 She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.
Starting point is 00:01:41 I fucking sat and wrote this book in 2008, and I wish you knew how nobody believed me. Not my publisher, not my ghostwriter, not the audience. People, shit, go look at the Amazon reviews when I first put this out. Literally people wrote things like this snake oil salesman's trying to tell you, you're going to make $100,000 a year on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:02:04 What a joke. Think about what a joke that comment is now. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. Today, we have a special episode that feels very full circle for Lauren and I personally with our friend Gary Vaynerchuk, also known as Gary Vee. This one's been a long time coming. This is the original serial entrepreneur.
Starting point is 00:02:25 And in this episode, you will find takeaway after takeaway after takeaway. The reason this feels so full circle to us is we've known Gary for a long time. It's been, you know, almost a decade. And the very first time we actually got on a mic together, Lauren and I, was on his show, the Ask Gary V Show. That was in March of 2016, almost eight years ago. And that was the first week that this show also launched. So it's kind of this real full circle moment where we haven't had a bunch of interactions, at least on the podcast with Gary. And so to have him on after all this time feels kind of, like I said, like a full circle moment. is a five-time New York Times best-selling author. He's the leading global mind on what's next in culture and the internet. I also find it super interesting that his book that he just read, which we'll get into, is sort of going to be the curriculum. Do you know what I mean? Like for, I feel like schools, for the future, for the youth. For anyone that cares about garnering attention online, building a brand online, building, you know, a business online, this is going to be the one. In this episode, we'll talk about the no excuses approach, advice for those who,
Starting point is 00:03:31 who can't find a passion, the common denominator of unhappy rich people, how he maintains his crazy energy, and also how to bring value to your audience. We also talk a lot about self-awareness in this episode and how to really be the best version of yourself. I think that you'll find that this show really encompasses what we're all about. Yeah, and I'm sure many of you are familiar with Gary and I've seen a lot, but I think there's also a lot of personal stuff in this episode that he hasn't touched on before. So for those that are Gary Vee fans, I'm sure many of you are, maybe some different things in here as well. Lauren and I both admire Gary immensely, have so for years.
Starting point is 00:04:06 With that, Gary Vaynerchuk, Gary V, welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. This is full circle for me because my dad gifted me, crush it. I want to say 14 years ago, right before I launched the Skinny Confidential, I read it, I highlighted it, I dog-eared it. Then, after implementing it, you came to me, I want to say, eight years down the line, and I got to be in your book crushing it. And then I was on your show, and now we're interviewing you.
Starting point is 00:04:40 It's a weird moment. It's a family affair. I was saying how you're like the internet's dad. Like your students or your kids are growing up. In like a real way. Yeah. You know, it's like, I mean, I was at DoorDash yesterday. This kid's 32.
Starting point is 00:04:56 He came up to me at a Super Bowl party. I stopped by yesterday when I was in San Francisco and he's like, you and I had a call when I was 14. I cold emailed you in Hong Kong and said, can I speak to you about entrepreneurship? You said yes. I'm really good at remembering shit, like really good. Especially not names, but visuals and moments.
Starting point is 00:05:16 I couldn't recall it. I don't like bullshitting. I couldn't recall it. This dude's like, actually, the full story was at a Super Bowl party this year at Michael Ruben's fanatic super party, the boogey one. Like this woman comes up,
Starting point is 00:05:25 this woman comes up to me, excuse me, his wife, and goes, you need to meet someone. I'm like, of course. She goes, so he says, like, she's like, telling the story. He's like, I was 14, Hong Kong, you made me believe in entrepreneurship all the way through. And then she goes, this is the co-founder of Door Dash. And like, and we were hanging out yesterday,
Starting point is 00:05:44 we were chopping it up and like, you know, not only, I'm in a very wild part of my career, like watching all of you, like, really when you've been putting out as much content about what you thought would happen, and then it happened, and it's impacting so many people, and it's positive,
Starting point is 00:06:02 and you get to be in the airports or literally on the way here, like we're working on the BeFriends theme song and music for the cartoons that are coming out, and the music group, the team that brought them in, they're like, they're the hottest,
Starting point is 00:06:14 they're the best, they're winning, they've done all these shows, and then they start the meeting with, Gary, our company took off because we read your book, and the people that introduced us didn't even know that. It's like, I'm in this incredible period
Starting point is 00:06:24 because I'm still young, right? I'm still, like, in my journey. Yet, to your point, I've been on this kick for 15 years, and a lot of people that were, like, 19 or now 34, you know, 28 or now 43, like, and then, like, watching y'all and so many others who I know a book or a video
Starting point is 00:06:43 changed the course of their careers, God, it's humbling beyond belief. I think what stands out for me is that that book was so different than anything that was on the market. Especially then. It was so avant-garde and it was so, it was like the discipline and the hard work and putting in the reps and the consistency. And it's like, it is all the things that happened.
Starting point is 00:07:05 And the thesis. People will become famous and build businesses around the things they're interested in at scale. And people shit on me heavy when that book came out. It came out in 2009. I wrote in 08. This is like 15 years ago now. It was right when we were getting out of school. How did you have a nose for that?
Starting point is 00:07:22 Looking back, because now you have the perspective. It's, it was, you know, how some, like, I don't know, like, why does he have such great hair and so fucking handsome? Like, you're born with shit. I'm born with some sort of ability. I don't know. Like, I'm born with some sort of ability to have a very good sense of what people are going to do before they understand they're even going to do it. I've always been good at that. It's how I built my dad's wine store. I knew that Australian and New Zealand wines were going to get hot. Spanish wines. And, like, nobody in the wine industry saw it. Like, I, I, I'm very good at that. I mean, you, think about your careers. You know that I was the loudest on musically. Always. Like, like, this is what I do. I'm that guy. There is, I was, just think, I told you before we started. Like, there were so many places that we could take this interview. We've been so aware of your content and it's been so critical in our careers in the development. And I was thinking the last time we sat down. It was actually the very first thing I ever did publicly
Starting point is 00:08:17 ever with your show. He snuck on. He snuck on. He snuck on. I snuck on. I snuck on. I snuck on. I got invited and Michael was like, no, no, no, I'm coming on with you. Listen, I'm going to take the shot, you know, if I can take the shot. I don't remember now. I was like, and he, we had matching leather jackets. I'm like, what's going on? It was a little strange looking. Yeah, I'm like, I found it.
Starting point is 00:08:36 It was episode 191 and it was March in 2016. The reason that date so important is that was the same exact week we launched this show, the very first episode ever. And you played such a critical part because we would drive back and forth to San Diego from L.A., San Diego, L.A. all the time. And we would listen to the Ask Gary Vee show, you and some other guys. And it was like, I remember trying to think, I've always been a kind of an operator behind the scenes guy.
Starting point is 00:08:56 But I remember listening to you on that show. I'm like, oh, I like that format. Like, I could do that. You know, it's interesting, I'm an operator. Huh? You know, like, the thing that's always been weird about me is that I always love when people come to Vayner, like influencers or other people, we do a lot of that. We always trying to give love, just like I did with all of, with you.
Starting point is 00:09:13 I continue to do that, even at this place of my career, like random 15-minute meeting with some kid that's, like, I love it. I love the come up. The amount of people that come into Vayner media and are like, what the fuck is this? And I'm like, what do you mean? They're like, what is this? I'm like, this is my company VaynerMedia. They're like, huh?
Starting point is 00:09:29 Like the amount of people that think like I'm an influencer or a personality or a motivational speaker or an author, like the reason the operators always fuck with me is because I'm an operator. The second part of what I was going to tell you, which is it was a real moment in my life personally was I read the book with Lauren and I started talking a lot. And it was a lot of talk. And I'm like, wait a minute. I came and saw you in your office and you talk. but what people don't realize about you is what you actually do most of the time is operate
Starting point is 00:09:56 massive businesses all over the place and that's your main like the thing people see is the side thing and I saw that with you and I was like okay that shut the fuck up more go do the thing yes you can talk along the way about the thing but go do the thing actually and it was a moment like as a young guy I was looking around there's all sorts of people on the internet and it's like who do you listen to and I remember like you were the north straw I was like oh this guy you can listen to because he actually is doing the thing when a lot of people are talking about the thing, but not actually doing it. It's why VaynerMedia has become one of the largest independent agencies in the world.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Literally 15 years ago, I started VaynerMedia. I was in the wine retail business running my dad's wine store. And in 15 short years, we built a 2,000 person global agency for Procter & Gamble on Pepsi and fanatics. Like, we're it. Like I was just in Miami at PossibleCon. Like everyone knows in advertising, the madmen, like the people that do the advertising for BMW and for the gap and for Exxon. Like the biggest that world, everyone knows they're on call
Starting point is 00:10:55 that I'm coming to get them. And the reason we're winning is that now that social media, organic, creative is the starting point of marketing. Organic social media, the reason I wrote day trading attention, which is the follow-up to Jab, Jab, Jab, Jab,
Starting point is 00:11:11 I hook. The reason I wrote it is because as we sit here today, the single most important thing in all of marketing is first and foremost, organic social media, then everything else. The reason to even have a podcast is more about the clips
Starting point is 00:11:27 for organic social than the podcast itself. Like I literally did DailyVee and I did ask Gary V and DailyV for the social media clips, not for the long form. I even still do podcasts as a guest because Dustin's sitting right there
Starting point is 00:11:42 der rocking it and we're going to clip it and there's going to be three or four or seven things. Social media organic, more important than commercial, more important than your email newsletter, more important than a billboard, more important than hiring Beyonce to be in your Super Bowl spot,
Starting point is 00:11:57 big shout out Verizon, more important to anything else if you are not the best in the world at organic social media and the way I define that because I know YouTube have been paying attention for a long time is I'm one of the few humans
Starting point is 00:12:10 that equally has 5 million followers on LinkedIn as I have 15 million followers on TikTok. I'm talking cross-platform. I'm talking YouTube shorts. I'm talking Snap Spotlight, I'm talking Instagram, I'm talking YouTube proper, YouTube shorts, I'm talking podcast, I'm talking newslet, I'm talking for real, for real.
Starting point is 00:12:30 And so, yeah, I mean, I think it's just a fun time to be on this show because you were saying right before, you know, you said, you know, you're so sweet. Like, I love you guys. Like, you're like, what's a win for you, Gary? I said, whatever's best for your audience right now, right? And you said, our audience is starting to figure out that like everyone could be an influencer.
Starting point is 00:12:49 And I said, fuck man, you couldn't even imagine how that hit for me. I'm like, I fucking sat and wrote this book in 2008. And I wish you knew how nobody believed me. Not my publisher, not my ghostwriter, not my fucking, not the audience. People, shit, go look at the Amazon reviews when I first put this out.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Literally people wrote things like this snake oil salesman's trying to tell you you're gonna make $100,000 year on YouTube, what a joke. Think about what a joke that comment is now. I think people, they're scared of the unknown and it was the unknown. And what I like about you personally is that you always go for the unknown. Everyone is so scared of the uncertainty and the unknown and what they don't know and they don't like it and they fear it. So they hit against it.
Starting point is 00:13:33 They don't like change either. Right. And then other things that happen, especially for influencers and creators, is they get good at something and they want to hold on. The reason so many people fucked up the TikTok moment was they got a million followers on Instagram and they wanted to stay there because it felt cozy because their ego like them. the blue check mark and the million followers so they didn't start setting up shop on TikTok because they didn't want to start at zero. I get fired up to start at zero.
Starting point is 00:13:56 I'm pumped. Like, you know, like, it's true. Like, I love having 60 people watching me on Twitch right now while I stream from my office on mute because everything is private information and all my friends and people are watching. 60. Like, I'm just putting it on to test.
Starting point is 00:14:14 42, like 28. Like, you know, but, Could I get more? Sure, as Dustin knows, like if I go on Instagram live for two seconds and say, come over here, then it's 400. But like, I'm not clicks. I'm not Bugha.
Starting point is 00:14:26 I'm not Kaysana. I'm not Aiden Ross. I don't have the time right now to sit in front and stream for 15 hours a day. Do I think I could do that well? I sure do. I think I can gab with audience for 15 straight hours and crush.
Starting point is 00:14:38 But that's not in the cards for me right now. I'm operating. I'm building an enormously big IP called V-Friends and I'm building the biggest advertising agency in the world. I'm busy. And that, so when I saw that as a full circle moment, I was like, oh, okay, there's a way to do this long form content and go and speak and do all the things that we all do. But you can still be a great operator. And this just reinforces the main thing. But and, you know, there's a lot of people out there selling a lot of stuff. I'm sure, you know, and, you know, get rich quick schemes and what to do. And I was like, if they're just selling you on the idea that like they're selling you on something and they don't have the actual infrastructure, like it'd be really careful. By the biggest argument in marketing right now, there's a lot of marketing professors and pontificators.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I'm like, if you're so good, why doesn't your book sell? Like, to your point, get Rich Crick, all that, that's played out. Like people still get away with it, but like people are getting smarter to that and they're not as loud and as noises as they used to be.
Starting point is 00:15:32 It smells, there's something that smells about it. More importantly, it's just a simple question. Like, if you're so good at marketing, what isn't your shit sell? Right. Like every author that writes a marketing book that the book doesn't crush is a weird situation.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Like, if you're saying, right, Like, if you're supposed to be so good at marketing, why doesn't your book sell? What would you say to someone? I can't wait to hear what you would say to someone that says, I'm too busy to create content. Because you have the 60 million companies. I'm looking at this list. Guys, I'm going to read it in the beginning of this episode.
Starting point is 00:16:05 It's going to take half the episode. Yeah, please don't do that. Please go off on what you would say to someone. I'm too busy to create content. You don't believe in demand creation. What does that mean? You don't believe that creating new customers. or consideration for what you're doing is important.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Do you know companies that are really great at sales, what they're also bad at marketing and branding? If you're a sales organization, that means it's not coming to you. You're going out and hunting. I love sales, and I love when companies do both. Yes. But if you're only about sales,
Starting point is 00:16:39 it means you don't know how to market and brand, because when you know how to have market and brand, it comes to you. So when I hear that, I'm like, oh, that person doesn't understand that content on social networks in April of 2024 is the single most important thing in the world to do great to get people to come to you
Starting point is 00:16:57 versus you go chasing it. They're too busy oftentimes operating and selling when if they understood that branding and marketing would accomplish the selling and free up time to operate. VaynerMedia doesn't even do RFPs anymore. This is very nerdy marketing talk, the request for proposal.
Starting point is 00:17:14 We don't do it. We don't need to. give me the business because you know we're the best. That's a good game. It's a lot more fun when you go out to the club when it's coming to you versus you running after it. Yeah, because there's no desperate energy. No shit.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Yeah. You know, it's funny too. That's what you want. By the way, that's what you want with men. Of course. That's what you want when you're being chased as a woman. Of course. Come to me, bitch.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Of course. You know what too? I also like personally, I think Lauren and I both realize we're really bad at the app. We're really bad at the cell. Me too. By the way, I don't like selling either. No, I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:17:48 It's why I like marketing and branding so much. Yeah, I like that. Think about what just happened in the meta here. Gary, what would be a win for you? Let me do branding. Let me bring value to the audience. Then of course they're going to want to buy the kids book. Then of course they're going to want to buy, like I don't want to say.
Starting point is 00:18:03 What am I going to say? Buy my book? Like no shit. Like when people go do the Today show or a podcast, I'm like, what the fuck are they doing? No, the audience, what do you think? Nobody understands like you go do a podcast. You have a new book coming out. What do you think they want to happen?
Starting point is 00:18:17 Of course you'd want your book to do well. For me, my book's going to do well. There's no scenario where my book is not going to do well. And why is that and how is that from a micro level? Like, how do you look at it? When you are ready to launch a book, how do you look at it? Do I have something to say that's going to create more of you two? The reason date trading attention is fun for me.
Starting point is 00:18:37 I don't know if you've gotten to skim it or read it yet. Yeah. Okay, it's because even you two that are winning, there's real shit in there that you don't want. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. By the way, I have all your books. It's not just this, but it's all your books. Well, that's it.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Anyone can open your book and highlight. I write books on the concept of marketing and branding and the current world that are good for even the people at the highest levels, which then, of course, is going to matter for the people that are just starting out, which was the waitress you. Yeah. I write books that both will crush for you when you were waitressing and crush for you right now in the midst of you building your empire. Do you know how epic that is for me?
Starting point is 00:19:16 You also don't like books for money. Of course not. It's not enough money in it for me. But it seems like you do it because you... I want to be historically correct. You also can't. And I want to impact. I want the intoxicate, to me,
Starting point is 00:19:29 a billion dollars is it intoxicating. You two looking at me with the admiration through your four eyes is the intoxication. Admiration is a trillion dollars. Has it changed over this two decades? It's always been the same. It's always been the same. It's always been the same.
Starting point is 00:19:44 My favorite people to interact with are the kids I grew up with that knew me for real. Like, you know, everyone now is like, oh, Gary, you're not, you're, it's different now because you got the money. I'm like, you don't know me. You don't know 27 year old me. That was exactly this person making $61,000 a year. Well, I do want to say something else to you.
Starting point is 00:20:02 We've been swimming in the same waters for a long time now. And with that, and you know this too, you get to meet a lot of people. And everybody talks. Everybody knows each other. Yes. And not only do we know people that you've partnered with, but we know people that have worked with you and for you. of all these years,
Starting point is 00:20:17 I've never heard anyone say a bad word about you. She just saying your praises today. And I mean that is a real compliment. Yeah, I mean, it's how I live my life. I couldn't imagine Dustin, Sam Heaps, D.R. Like, any, like, I, and by the way,
Starting point is 00:20:35 even sometimes when people leave when it's a little murky, maybe I wasn't candorous enough, that's why I wrote 12 and a half to talk about the only kryptonite I think I've had in people relationships was I wasn't candorous enough to some people. What is candorous? I couldn't deliver candor.
Starting point is 00:20:48 I couldn't be like, hey, Dustin, I need you to do that. Like, if I love you, but Gary Vee is the most candorous. Yeah. On stage, in a podcast, in book form, crush candor. Gary Vaynerchuk,
Starting point is 00:21:01 if I like you and you're not doing a great job at work, I dance around it. So how does that, then, what do you think the impact of that is? It created sloppy exits. 99.9% of people are going to say remarkable things about me. The point one that could be like,
Starting point is 00:21:17 eh, I couldn't tell them they stunk and I surprised them when I fired them and so I have resentment towards me. And so that stinks because what you just said, what you just delivered is everything to me. The way people that actually know me, actually spend time with me,
Starting point is 00:21:36 actually talk about me, means the world to me. But I think it's important because, again, like coming up and figuring this out and it's very fast pace and there's a lot going on, especially in this world, like, I don't think, especially a lot of young people starting here, they don't realize, like, this can span decades, especially if you're building something on a personal brand. And you have to not only protect the business, but you have to protect your reputation in the way you are people because you never know that intern becomes
Starting point is 00:22:00 the executive. What you're alluding to is a lot of people look up to a lot of people, but 88% of them are pieces of shit. Yeah. Yeah. And people are hypocrites. And they talk about being nice on camera and then everybody works for them hates them. Yeah. That's where you meet some people. And you know, once you get in the circles, you get the truth. Well, and you podcast with someone that you think is the best. And you see the way they treat people in the office or the way they treat their own and
Starting point is 00:22:22 you're like, oh, that's so, it's so, like, it's devastating. Never meet your heroes. Yeah, sometimes. Agreed. Some are great. Agreed. Some are great. 88% versus 12% is a disappointing thing for all of us.
Starting point is 00:22:35 The creator side, right? You start to see people that like are starting to kind of make it and they're getting the traction. and then all of a sudden they start to believe their own hype. Of course. Humility is the missing ingredient for almost everyone because most people are grounded in security versus actual confidence. Talk about that.
Starting point is 00:22:51 Well, like the reason I think I'm nice is because I'm confident. Like, it's not super complicated. Most people have bad behavior from their own insecurities. Where do you think that comes from with you? The luck of the DNA drawn epic parenting. My mom crushed it, but I also know that I have siblings and cousins and friends and I have children,
Starting point is 00:23:14 I see how the world works. It's not just parenting. It's not just environment. Like I got very fortunate that it was part of my DNA and then it got reinforced by a mother who really believed in kindness who instilled that I was the best so I believed her,
Starting point is 00:23:29 but not that bullshit delusional, you're the best. You're the best, she told me, son. But then when I did things wrong, consequences. Modern parenting has fucked up. That's why I wrote Mimi and the Me and the Me and the best. middle. If you tell your kids they're the best, that's awesome. If that becomes delusion and you don't
Starting point is 00:23:45 have ramifications and consequences for their poor behavior, then they become delusional. Kind of entitled, delusional. It's a fine line. Yes. The entitlement in our society in first world countries like America, parts of Western Europe, rich China and other places is a fucking cancer. Do you get pushback at all at this point in your career? Like there was a, we did an episode one time on hustle culture and it was like a big like a hot button issue and you know our perspective is you got to put in the fucking work like you you have I think I think you know what happened there in my career was somebody wrote a medium article called hustle porn and put me as the I didn't know if they did that that happened and so what happened was there was a moment there that it got a lot of heat and I started
Starting point is 00:24:27 but it was easy for me two things happened with that one the most remarkable thing was I talked about it once on a podcast and because there was so many things that weren't true about me in the article and I said that I felt bad for the person that wrote it, not for me. And then that person reached out to me recently, and I sent it to Sid and Andy, because it was a big moment on our team Gary at the time, and he apologized and said I was right on the podcast. I didn't even know that that happened.
Starting point is 00:24:53 He used me. So for me, that's what actually sparked people throwing me into that combo, because if you read Crush It, I don't talk about working 18 hours a day. I talk about having the capacity to work 18 hours a day when it's your hobby. when you love it, do you understand that I would not work one hour a day if I didn't like it? I got D's and F's for a reason.
Starting point is 00:25:15 I did not like school and I believe that I'm part of the very rare club. As a matter of fact, Gary at VFriends.com, if you're part of this club, because I know there's not that many people so I don't think my inbox will get flooded. Don't email me otherwise.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Please, I got too much email. But if you're one of these people, email me. Are you part of the... I never opened my book. I never did a single piece of... homework and I never studied for an hour or more in your entire four years of high school, please email me because you and I are part of a, I am an all-time remarkably poor student. From freshman year to high school, at North Hunter in High School in New Jersey, I did not do
Starting point is 00:25:54 one piece of homework in four years of high school. I never submitted a book report. I did my Scantron as A, B, C, D, E, like, complete random. And I never studied once, not an hour in four years of school. of high school. My capacity to work hard when I don't like it is zero. My job, my career is my hobby. I treat working the way people treat skiing and vacationing and cooking and watching Star Wars and playing video games. It is my great hobby. So when people tried to throw the hustle thing at me, I was like, the receipts exist, go watch my content. I don't work 18 hours a day to make a million dollars for what? When people like Gary work, I just said this on another podcast. First time I ever said
Starting point is 00:26:35 this way. I'm like, they're like, yeah, but Gary, I work nine to five. I have great work life balance. I'm like, do you like your job? Nah. I'm like, you don't have good work life balance. You have 40 hours a week that you are fucking miserable. I also disagree. You do have to hustle. Like, what, do people like not disagree with you,
Starting point is 00:26:51 but disagree that people are mad about that? We are fully agreeing. That becomes, let me tell you what that's about. That's similar to why cancel culture is getting canceled. That was the manipulation of a word. When the word hustle meant hard work, we all agreed on it. What happened was society manipulated the word hustle into work so hard in such an unhealthy manner
Starting point is 00:27:13 that you will get sick or suicidal all for the chase of money. Yes. My definition of hustle is hard work is one of the ingredients to make something happen. That'd be like saying to everyone, good news, you don't need to go to the gym or eat right and everything is going to be awesome.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Physically, not true. So that was just the slang word of, this is why this is the biggest issue with cancel culture. It doesn't factor in intent. If somebody makes a misstep, but they didn't want to and they like you and they didn't mean it. Why should they be fired and eliminated from society? It was so out of whack, which is why it didn't last long. There's a reason we're having a correction and why it was just a blip. It was, it's not sustainable.
Starting point is 00:28:02 It's not right. Yeah, it's why, like, honestly, we never, I mean, and again, and I think it comes with having, like, a lot of people in that moment were maybe new or just getting started finding their foot. We've been doing this for so long now, not as long as you, but that it felt like a blip in time. And I kept looking like, there's no way you can sustain this way. And people would get frustrated that we wouldn't take it more seriously. But I'm like, it's not. How are you not allowed? By the way, I stopped using hustle during that time and just used hard work. And work ethic. Do you want to cancel? I don't give a shit what they want to cancel. It has nothing to do with me. Like, like, it's just, like, here's the problem with what life right now. Everyone has such audacity that they think everyone should see the world the way they see it. Oh, please. I have deep conviction of how I see things on me. I'm Gary V. I write these, but when I tell you, I totally understand why people don't see it the same way. I have conviction that organic social media is the single most important starting point to marketing.
Starting point is 00:28:58 I equally spend my career seven hours, ten hours a day because I split it between me, and be friends at Vayner, with people who think a TV commercial is the most important thing. I think I'm right. I think they're stuck in yesterday. But guess what? I'm not mad at them.
Starting point is 00:29:14 I don't hate them. I don't think they're stupid. I think they'll be proven to be wrong. I don't think in 2024, spending $4 million on making a commercial for television on a non-streaming service on network TV or cable is a good idea. I think it's actually the stupidest idea.
Starting point is 00:29:32 But I'm not mad at anyone if they see it differently. What's a bad day look like for you? One of the things I'm struggling with right now is that with 2,000 employees, and I'm so HR-driven, the pet team, the people and talent team, always tell me when something bad has happened to an employee anywhere. This is a big part of me wanting to be the human CEO.
Starting point is 00:29:52 To the point where I'm actually debating maybe not doing it anymore. Because now at 2000, when it was 50 people, 80 people, and everybody was 22, we were cruising. Nobody's parents were dying. Everyone was 22. Nobody's parents were dying. Nobody lost a baby. Nobody had kids.
Starting point is 00:30:05 We were cruising. I was like, I'm the best. Like, meaning I'd have to hear about it once every few months. And I would lean in now at 2,000 people, many of which are 40, 50, 30 things happen. People's siblings die. People's parents die. People lose a baby. People get sick.
Starting point is 00:30:24 People themselves get sick and hurt. We had an incredible teammate get murdered. Murdered. In Brazil, I think. Columbia, Columbia, like, so the weight of a day-to-day negative thing of people I care about that work with me heavy. So a bad day for me would be getting bad news
Starting point is 00:30:43 about somebody in one of my companies that's happened to them because I'm very emotional. And so I take things on. I'm able to carpatalyze. That's what I'm great at. I can deal with it. But I would tell you my bad days are only left for cancer, death, terminal illness,
Starting point is 00:31:01 car wreck, burnt house down. Losing money? Somebody saying I stink? Like, fuck that shit. I want you to talk about that a bit because you've said that for a very long time and I think a lot of people starting out with that perspective.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Some people get, as we've become parents and been married and all this, I really lean into the same theory. Like, if something happened to her or my kids, like that's a real thing. You look, you're losing a little money. Let's go to the full extreme. You guys are really,
Starting point is 00:31:31 it right now. You're on the presbynus of building your empire, right? What if we went to dead zero tomorrow? Devastating. You've worked really hard. I'd figure it out. Of course. That. You have to have that. You can't be scared. You know why? Because you have no choice. Right. Like, I don't understand. People think they have optionality to step backs. Everyone's so scared of losing, they've lost. Everybody is so scared of losing that is listening to this right now that they've already lost. because of the fear of losing. What about the forever student? Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Like, they just read about it and never do about it. Yeah, I mean, they're a forever student. Like, I don't know. Like, I was that about health and wellness from 28 to 38. I was talking to myself for a decade about I have to get to better shape. I have to eat better.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Fuck, I have all these goals and dreams. I'm not going to live to 100 if I don't fucking, if I keep eating foie gras and fucking never go to the gym. And then at 38 and a half, I finally got serious about it. And I've started taking my health
Starting point is 00:32:29 more serious over the last 10, years of my life. That's how I feel about all of it. I understand the forever student. I wasn't with my health and wellness from 28 to 38. It's about fear. I used to say when I was 34 that I didn't have time to work out. 34 year old Gary compared to 48 year old Gary with time. That guy is a puss. Why is he a puss? Talk to 30. Talk to him. It's not that I work that much more or less. My efficiency is like a fucking gangster. Do you know what my calendar looks like? No, can we see it? Yeah. This is actually my dream. to see your calendar.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Wait, do you have something in there that says 445 to 446? It's very real to me. Like, shower in there. My efficiency, me learning as an operator that every one out, here's a big one for all the entrepreneurs out there. Every hour meeting you have is actually a 30-minute meeting. Please, can you actually talk about that from a very detailed standpoint? I need all these tests.
Starting point is 00:33:27 The reason I have so many 15-minute meetings is almost every 30-minute meeting. meeting is actually a 15 minute meeting, but you putts around on dumb shit that doesn't matter or pleasantries that aren't required at that moment. Like I'm so excited. This is great. How do you stop? And like eating the pineapple for a few minutes and like making a coffee and all of a sudden it's like 209.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Let's do, here's my favorite one. 13 people in a meeting. Let's do intros for a fucking hour. No. I mean like fuck that shit. I give you an example. I was speaking to some banks the other day and they were trying to schedule hours every time like no, 30. Because the point is like on the hour
Starting point is 00:34:01 Everyone does the round of introductions, how is the weekend? And you also lose momentum in the conversation. It's like let's just get to the point. How do you hard stop it, though? It's like going to the gym for an hour, but not doing a single exercise properly. You don't have to hard stop it because people get to the point. I want to know how you get out of 12 to 12, 15. Someone's still talking.
Starting point is 00:34:17 What do you do? Say, I apologize, I have to go to my next meeting. Just straight up. You're also in my role as I'm the conductor of almost every meeting. Like everyone, don't forget, it's also scheduled from 12 to 12, 15. People see it. People know, right? You know, like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:33 They show up ready. Yeah, like, listen, I'm, I'm bad at interrupting when I'm the podcast host. I'm definitely going to interrupt in a meeting if we're trying to move shit along. So you're like, sorry I have to go to my next meeting. Bye. I mean, it's even weirder than that, I think, back to the point I'm making, which is if this meeting is 12 to 1215, at 12.13, everyone's brains is like, this meeting's two minutes long. Like, there's no, like, it's not like someone's going to pontificate about anything. Like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Okay. I'm going to take those 15 minute meeting tips. And it also, what I like about seeing your calendar, too, is you can tell you've also carved out time that's personal. Yes, of course. Now, I don't do a whole lot of personal between like 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. Like a minimum day for me is 10 hours of operating. No lunch. I barely go to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:35:17 It's 10 hours, right? Every day, every day, every day, every day. And by the way, that's the minimum. There's plenty of 8 a.m. to 11 p.m. and all that. Listen, I love what I do. But I'm in or I'm out. Like on the weekends, I'm see you. Vacations, see ya.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Jets game, double see you. Like, you can tell me the world's burning down. I'm like, this game's not over yet. You know, like, I carve out that time. And I've definitely evolved in ebbs and flows with your personal life of like, there's times where you can triple down on work. There's times, like you find different variables
Starting point is 00:35:48 and different chapters of your life. There's no system. I also have no ideology to my work ethic. Like, I'm also comfortable changing my mind tomorrow and never working again. It's a fluid situation. Like, it is what it is. I focus on one thing.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Enjoyment, satisfaction, happiness, and currently this is working, but if it changes, it changes. At the time of this recording, Lauren and I are on the go. We're out here in LA. We've been out here for the last week, doing all sorts of interviews,
Starting point is 00:36:20 catching up at the Dear Media offices out here in Hollywood. And every single time that we travel, we make sure to bring our health routines with us. Not only are we working out, but we're taking the right supplements as we're traveling. I have talked about symbiotica for years,
Starting point is 00:36:33 now. We've had the founders of Symbiotical on this show so many times talking about all the incredible things that they're doing over there. They are one of the fastest growing supplement companies in this space. And what I love about their products is many of them are liposomal. So instead of just taking a pill, you're actually eating their supplements like food. Many of you know about the standouts, they're vitamin B12, vitamin D3. These are the things that are the staples that they do so well. But two supplements that I'm absolutely obsessed with that I can't live without, that I do not travel without is their magnesium L3anate and their glutathione. The glutothiodin is one of the best antioxidants on the market. It tastes fabulous. It's like this berry flavor. I take a couple packs every
Starting point is 00:37:06 single day to just make sure that I'm on point when I'm running around or even just chilling at home. And their magnesium L3anate is one of the best sleep supplements that I've found. So many of us are magnesium deficient. Actually, most of us are. So getting a great magnesium supplement is absolutely critical. You can have this in your coffee in the morning or you can take it at night before bed to get a better sleep. I take it religiously. Symbiotica has been on top of their game. They have such a wide assortment of great products. Now, whatever you're health needs may be. As always, we have a special offer just for our listeners. Start your subscription today. You can save up to 15% off your subscription with our code Skinny. Just go to symbiotica.com
Starting point is 00:37:42 and use Code Skinny on your subscription order. Again, that's symbiotica.com code skinny. Every single person on the planet that is about to have a baby, maybe you have a friend that's going to have a baby, maybe you have someone that has a newborn. It needs to know about Dreamland baby. because it is probably 80% of the reason that my son sleeps through the night. So they have this specific sleep sack. It's called the Dreamland Baby Sleepsack. And it's gently weighted. And what it does, at least for my son, is when I put it on him,
Starting point is 00:38:20 he associates it with winding down. And because it's gently weighted, it sort of like relaxes his nervous system. I cannot tell you what I would do without this situation. Like, it is part of our night. I turn on his, like, crackling fireplace machine. I turn all the lights off in the room. I put a salt rock nightlight on while I get him ready.
Starting point is 00:38:45 I put him in his dreamland baby lightly weighted sleep sack. And this sleep sack is like a little hug for me. He loves it. I put him in his bed and my son will sleep, probably from like, 730 to 730. He's been using this sleep sack the whole time. I wish that I had it with Saza. It would have made my life so easy. This is the gift to be giving at baby showers. Let me tell you. Give the gift of sleep. Go to dreamlandbabyco.com and intercode skinny at checkout. You receive 20% off sitewide, plus free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers. That's dreamlandbababeeco.com
Starting point is 00:39:23 intercode skinny. Every single morning I've been doing the exact same thing, okay? And I'm really happy about this. I wake up, I scrape my tongue always. And then I go outside with my lemon water. I take my facial massager, Skinny Competential, obviously, and I put on a meditation or like sound bowls. And I do this even if my kids are awake, even if they're sitting with me, even if we're reading a book. And I sit outside and I get my sunlight and I do my facial massage while all this is happening. And there's this product that I use to do it that grips the face so nicely. It's by primally pure. Okay. It has this like grip for facial massage that is unlike anything. It has grass fed beef tallow in it. And I think that that makes such a big difference because there's so much essential fatty acid in beef tallow. And I think
Starting point is 00:40:18 the essential fatty acids in the beef tallow really like plumps the skin and gives you this grip on your cheekbones on your jawline that's amazing. Everything from primally pure is non-toxic so you can go on and shop all of their things. They have a cycle soothing spray which is like the spray designed to soothe period symptoms. It has magnesium. They have one of my favorite body lotions. It's like almond and vanilla. So if you're like me and you want to get some really great facial massage in or if you're tired of discomfort during your monthly menstrual cycle, try the cycle. Try the cycle. soothing spray and that beef tallow from primally pure at primally pure.com slash skinny. That's www. p-r-I-M-A-L-L-Y-P-U-R-E dot com slash skinny. Use code skinny at checkout for 15% off your order. So when people come to you at this point, you've talked to thousands of people and they say, Gary, I'm not happy with what I'm good? I don't like my bid. I mean, I'm not a I don't have passion. Like what is the main theme that you're recognizing with those people and what is the response to them? Lack of accountability. or optimism.
Starting point is 00:41:23 And they're looking for answers, but often what they're looking for is affirmation for their excuses. And the reason they like me is I don't want to do that for them because everyone else is doing that for them and it's fucking them up. What most people want is for you to agree
Starting point is 00:41:40 to why they got unlucky or why it's not going well. If you look carefully of what's happening, a lot of us are creating entitlement and nepotism for people we love by acknowledging things that aren't true. Like, for example, the thing that's really playing out in society right now
Starting point is 00:41:57 is the real pandemic is non-accountability. Right? So right now you have an entire, let's just use our country for a little bit. It's Biden's fault. It's Trump's fault. It's Republicans' fault. It's Democrats' fault.
Starting point is 00:42:10 It's my spouse's fault. It's mom, and now the other big one, it's mom's fault. It's dad's fault. It's everyone's fault. What about this? Like, the thing that I'm usually trying be like usually where I go, depending on the tone and tenor of the person.
Starting point is 00:42:23 You know, some people love a gym trainer that like really grinds you. Like, go, go, whoa, blah, like people like that. Other people like one that's a little bit more like your therapist slash trainer. Everybody likes different things from different relationships. What I tend to try to do is look at the person that's coming at me, whether randomly at an airport or somebody I really care about and be like, what style of communication can I give right now that brings them the most value? For some people, it's like, look, that's real trauma.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Like, if somebody comes to me that, I don't know. And, like, this happens to me a lot. Like, I don't know them, but they consume my content. And I'm, like, in line to get a coffee. And they're like, Gary, can I speak to you? I'm like, you know, I'm pretty me. I'm me. I'm like, sure. They're like, look, man, like, my dad was an alcoholic
Starting point is 00:43:04 and, like, sexually abused me. I can't be like, yo, bro, who gives a fuck? Like, that's not appropriate. You need to come with real compassion in that moment. That's something I can't fully understand. I'm not all knowing. I'm like, to me, that needs, extreme sympathy and compassion.
Starting point is 00:43:21 But if that's a 45 minute combo, not a one minute convo, then at some point that the story with that person, especially if it's the 18, let's say it's an employee and I'm in hour 18 over three years with them. At some point in that combo, it starts to transition into like,
Starting point is 00:43:38 you are aware that other people have also gone through this traumatic experience and through therapy, meditation, health and wellness, mentally and emotionally, physically. They've been able to get on the other side. Humans are remarkable. I mean, there's people that literally were in concentration camps
Starting point is 00:43:52 during the Holocaust, watch their parents get shot, and then escaped the Holocaust because America freed them, came to America and started their families. You know how insane that is? So, like, look. It's a wild concept to think about now, especially. Yeah, let me say it again, like, actually,
Starting point is 00:44:10 I've never used this analogy, because this is a very real story. There were many people that spent many years in concentration camps as children physically watched their parents die and then escaped, left their country in Eastern Europe and came to America and became the starter
Starting point is 00:44:29 of the new family tree. If they can overcome that, everyone listening to this podcast with whatever fucked up mom and dad, neighborhood, somebody fucking them. Like people come to me like Gary, I can't do it anymore. My business partner stole a million dollars for me.
Starting point is 00:44:44 I'm like, fuck you. I'm like, yes, you can. So now, how you start that conversation isn't always like, rah, rah, rah, I got you. Sometimes it takes four hours of compassion before you can start to transition the energy to accountability and capability. But the issue, you know, what do I say?
Starting point is 00:45:01 You're capable. You don't like politics is such a hot topic, right? You don't like what's going on in America? Go to Sweden. I don't know. Like, if you're so distraught right now listening to this and you think America's the worst, I have great news.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Australia is lovely. Yeah. And so to me, why are you going to complain when you're in control? Ah, you like that feeling. People don't want to be accountable. I think complaining gives people sometimes identity.
Starting point is 00:45:35 It gives them the short-term endorsement hit. It gives them a short-term excuse. It gives them a band-aid. It gives them a jolt of, I don't suck. Life is as basic as a conversation. comes. Insecurity, self-confidence, everything else is secondary. Yeah, it's interesting too because, like, the message is very clear, and I couldn't agree more.
Starting point is 00:45:56 But, you know, there's also this thing that's like, well, easy for you to say Gary V. Point of Privilege, Lauren and Michael, point of privilege. And like, it's just like it's another bump along the road. Only because they don't have context. Of course. Sure, easy for me, Gary. Let's talk about Gary. I immigrated from the Soviet Union. I grew up in a household where my dad worked every minute, where my mom starting, who's the greatest of all time, but very early on said, you take care of your sister. I've only had responsibility.
Starting point is 00:46:21 I've only had stress and pressure on my head. My whole life started working my dad's liquor store at 14. At 16, I'm already a financial impact on the business. Now I've got that. Like, I've only had, and I've never had a vacation in my fucking life. How about that? I didn't take one as a kid, and by the time I was grown and I went,
Starting point is 00:46:37 every vacation I've been taken in my entire adult life, I've had to think about responsibilities that were happening while I was on the fucking beach, so I promise you I wasn't. on fucking vacation. Yeah, that's one thing. Thank you. Like, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:46:47 How about, I'm happy. How about you? Fourth kid in your family, never had the responsibility. Everyone took care of you in the fucking family. You got it good. You're the oldest, right?
Starting point is 00:46:55 Yes. Like, fuck that shit. Like, as if nobody else has, like, everybody has something. Everybody has something. The thought that I have it, like, the thought that other people have it better than me,
Starting point is 00:47:09 that is stupid. Why would anyone think that? You don't know about people's life. lives. You know how many people have had atrocious things happen that they've never
Starting point is 00:47:17 had the strength to say out loud nobody on earth knows there's everyone's walking around with secrets everyone has skeletons everyone has trauma everyone has pain
Starting point is 00:47:26 like no I don't think it's a point of privilege plus what are we defining success? That's the thing the stupidest fucking thing I know on earth is that people define
Starting point is 00:47:35 people of privilege with money. Money has no correlation to happiness you know you guys are grown now you're in circles you know unlimited
Starting point is 00:47:42 amount of people with money are more unhappy to do the day of less. 100 fucking percent. And by the way, you don't know yet. You'll find out if you get there. And if you don't get there, you won't know. Like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:47:52 Like, am I supposed to think LeBron's lucky because he's a fucking athletic freak? I know that I wasn't born as an athletic freak, but I don't know what's going on in LeBron's life. Like, I'm supposed to believe that Beyonce has it so fucking awesome. I don't know what's going on in Beyonce's life. How are you going to teach your kids this? I want to know for my own, like,
Starting point is 00:48:13 What are you doing that you, and this book, too, you could talk about this as well. Like, what are you doing for your kids? You're just having conversations, but don't forget, I'm not going to be the best vessel. Like, there's different vessels. I'm going to be my kid's dad. I'm definitely not going to be Gary Vee.
Starting point is 00:48:28 I might be very effective for your kids. Right. By the way, I might be the perfect person for your kids one day. They were like, this is somebody we knew for a long time. They're going to think it's, they may think I'm cool. It's happening right now. For so many of my friends, they're 15 to 20 year old. the amount of text I get from friends
Starting point is 00:48:44 saying my son just texted me a fucking video from you that I've been telling him for nine years but he hasn't listened but he texted me and be like dad we should do this you're like motherfucker I've been telling you this because sometimes you need an outside voice sometimes Oprah did it for people
Starting point is 00:48:59 even though mom was saying it the whole time I can't be that I'm going to be dad for my kids what am I telling them I'm doing dad shit but I also know that dad shit's only gonna be 50% of it because people humans when they grow up, dad, mom can only have so much leverage on them. So I could do dad shit there. I try to do dad shit for the internet.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Older brother shit. No, you're the godfather. The godfather of the internet. You know, like I try to do it. I try to lead positive contributions. And then I'm also okay if I'm not the right vessel. Yeah. I'm going to be very calm if for the people, like I'm comfortable.
Starting point is 00:49:31 I mean, my sister. My sister and I are very close. She always laughs because I talk. People know my brother I talk about more because I usually talk about business. As you two know, I don't talk about my personal life. So usually my sister's always like, nobody knows that we always have. Your sister's the middle.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Yeah, and I grew up with my sister much more than I grew up with AJ. How much younger is AJ? 11 years. I went to college, AJ was seven. So I, now I was also like 18 going on 11 and he was seven going on 17. So we've always met in the middle.
Starting point is 00:49:59 But, you know, my sister, I have a real fun relationship with we're incredibly close. And like, she's like... What's a gap? Three and a half. We grew up together. And like, we grew up different than AJ.
Starting point is 00:50:10 AJ had a little bit better because I came to the wine store and blew it the fuck up. Let's just call it what it is. So we grew up, we have different stories. We have our childhood together. You said something so smart, though.
Starting point is 00:50:21 You said on your Instagram that the way that you look at giving the kids the internet is you want to instill self-confidence. Oh, you're talking about it. Yeah, I'll get to that a minute. Let me finish this thought. My sister even, like had an epiphany with me
Starting point is 00:50:37 in the last five years. Like the way she viewed me, my dad, like, and that's like somebody I grew up. So like what I'm trying to say is that like I'm humble enough to know that for some people, like there's people listening right now that I was literally the guy for.
Starting point is 00:50:53 I was the single human being, many people come up to me and say, you are my true father figure. You are my true big brother figure. It's humbling. I know that I have the gifted gap like many billions of people have. I don't think that makes me special.
Starting point is 00:51:05 There's many other people right now on the internet. Pro left, right, People hit with it music, musicians, right? Like, fucking, what do you think? Like, it's so fascinating to watch, like, who inspires, who breaks through, who gets through your fucking head? That is something I think you're born with. It's a communication concept, right?
Starting point is 00:51:23 So, I'm cool, I'm happy with that, but I'm also okay when I'm not. Most people don't have the guts for this, but some people come up to me occasionally be like, I don't buy your shit. I'm like, okay. I'm like, first of all, I'm not selling you anything, not asking anything of you. and two, that's awesome. Like, I get it. Like, maybe I'm too high energy.
Starting point is 00:51:41 You don't like the cursing. You don't like competitiveness to brought... That's amazing. I'm glad that a different kind of voice resonates for you. Like, usually when I met with that, normally on DM or comments, rarely in person. But when I met with it in person, I always tell them, like,
Starting point is 00:51:57 I hope you do find the person that hits for you. For me, that was my mom. It was never Joe Namath. It was never Jay-Z. Like, for me, the person that broke through was my mom. I think the people that call you out like that, though, want your attention. And when you give them the attention, they immediately back down and say, sorry. I've seen it happen.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Yeah, of course. And that's fine too, and I'm empathetic to that. They just want to be acknowledged. Yeah, of course. I get it. Listen, I live with compassion and sympathy and empathy running through my blood. Yeah. It is my natural state.
Starting point is 00:52:27 It's how I see the world. I'm so grateful and humbled by the luck of the draw of my DNA and parenting and circumstance. If I was born here and not in Russia, I'd be a different person. I lived in a studio apartment. I remember living in a studio apartment in Queens, the size of this room, with more family members that are in the room right now.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Six hidden room now. Do you understand how grateful I am to be able to have a nice dinner? Red Lobster on my 10th birthday was like going to fucking Europe. I wore a suit from Kmart that my mom bought for fucking eight bucks for my 11th or 10th
Starting point is 00:53:04 birthday because we went to Red Lobster. I went to one, I went to two family vacations in my entire life, both to Disney World. The first time we stayed in the Holiday Inn, not the fucking Mickey Mouse is, stayed on the fucking Holiday Inn. How the fuck am I not going to be grateful for everything? I was fortunate to grow up that way.
Starting point is 00:53:24 And every time I had nothing, I was always happy. So of course I live a life realizing money's not happiness. We didn't have it, and I was the happiest. Now I'm around unlimited people with unlimited money and they're fucking miserable. You think I'm confused? I'm definitely not confused.
Starting point is 00:53:40 What do you think the common denominator is makes those people with the money unhappy? They're insecure and they thought money was going to close the gap. Yeah. They thought the pretty girl was going to close the gap. They thought the watch was going to close the gap. They thought the handbag was going to close the back. They thought the zip code 90210 is going to close the gap.
Starting point is 00:53:54 They thought the followers were going to close the gap. They thought the blue checkmark was going to close the gap. They thought the Grammy was going to close the gap. They thought something with nothing is going to, no thing is going to fucking close your gap. If you were emotionally insecure, you are vulnerable. You are vulnerable. And oftentimes the person that made you insecure
Starting point is 00:54:10 was either your mom or dad, which is a whole brain fuck. So say, like, in your scenario, and I think in our scenarios, we were all fortunate to have parents that really instilled a lot of confidence and told us we could do whatever we put our minds and so we kind of had that. But for someone who didn't grow up with that
Starting point is 00:54:24 and has those things, how do you help them get there? Find people that do it for you or content that does it for you. I watched my father who did not have self-esteem being built into him. transform under his time being with me at the liquor store. I'm proud to sit here and say, I had a dramatic emotional impact on my father.
Starting point is 00:54:42 And how did he manifest? I didn't know that. I've never heard you talk about that. Because I don't talk. I'm trying to give you something nobody else has. Here you go. I mean, tell us about that. I'll tell you.
Starting point is 00:54:49 I believe, I've never said it because it's not really for me to say, but I feel like my father's and I relationship is at the right place for me to say this. I believe that if my father was sitting here, he would tell you that the 22-year-old kid that came full-time to work in that store and really six years earlier than that, that over the course of me being with him so much
Starting point is 00:55:08 between 14 years old and 34 that I fundamentally changed the way he viewed himself. And how do you think you did that for him? By telling him the truth. What do you mean telling him the truth? By when we drove to the liquor store and I could see my dad didn't realize how remarkable what he had done was.
Starting point is 00:55:25 I'm like, Dad, do you know how many people come to America with 100 bucks? Like he was shitting on himself. He spent all his time and energy on what was going wrong. I was like, what about this? By changing his perspective. Dustin, do you believe that I've had a positive impact
Starting point is 00:55:40 on your perspective? I know who Dustin was when he started. That's no surprise. I think anyone that's in your orbit, I mean, we know DRock too. Yeah, I mean, DRock would sit here right now and be like, I had a profound change. Like, yes.
Starting point is 00:55:53 But I think I'm surprised because I have a similar dynamic with my dad that you had that kind of impact on your dad because that's a different kind of impact. That's a different one. You know, look, I think it is more unusual
Starting point is 00:56:02 for the child to do that for the parent, but I also think I'm a supernova positivity. Like, I think I'm different. I think I'm passionate about it. Back then I didn't even know what I was doing. Meaning now I'm aware that I am that person. Then it was just, I was a child. I just, it's like, it's the purest form.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Like, I don't know how not to look at everything from a positive, practical way. Was there ever a strange dynamic when your dad had obviously laid the foundation and built so much, but then you kind of came in and ripped it to the next. Was there ever like a weird, dynamic of him looking at you being like, my son is now like proud of you,
Starting point is 00:56:36 obviously because of everything, but also surpassing, you know, kind of... Oh, we could do a whole fucking documentary on it. We went from a place of where my father and I competed with each other and had weird dynamics about it to a part in our life now
Starting point is 00:56:50 where he literally walks around Earth every day with a hat that says, proud dad of Gary Vee. Sweet. Yeah. And he brings up something I said to him all the time. This is his favorite thing to say.
Starting point is 00:57:02 Well, it's not that cute. I love it. But he also has two other children. I prefer my dad mix it up a little bit. But like my dad always brings us up. He brought it up yesterday when I spoke to him in between meetings in San Francisco. He said, son, it's really nice. I said something to my dad one day when we were driving.
Starting point is 00:57:22 And it was about how wine library was going to be the biggest wine store in New Jersey. And I said, dad, I'm going to build such a big wine store for you. and I'm gonna be so good at it that everyone's gonna stop competing with us because they're gonna all know that they're fighting for second place. That I'm gonna be so good and this is gonna be so good
Starting point is 00:57:45 and I'm gonna build the biggest thing and everyone's gonna be fighting for second place because what my dad used to be worried about is what you guys are giving me flowers for. While I was building Wine Library, I was telling the industry in interviews what I was doing. I was like, the internet's gonna win,
Starting point is 00:58:04 an email market, and he would get upset. You're like, don't tell everyone your secrets. And I was like, Dad, you don't understand. I'm so much better than them. I'm gonna tell them what I'm doing, but they're not gonna execute it on it. And it was this, like, really gangster moment when I was like 24, three or whatever
Starting point is 00:58:24 that, like, was a real, I remember it vividly the second I said it. It was like, ooh, it was like a, you know, like, it was being like a rapper where you have a bar that you just know you're going to be known for forever. And it was just me and him. We used to compete a lot.
Starting point is 00:58:37 It was a real challenge because I was building the business and I would struggle with him coming in and be like, I'm like, Dad, I'm doing it now. At the time I didn't understand, when I was 22, full time back from college now, don't forget, I was there since I was 14, so I've been there every summer in high school and college.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Like I was there 100 days a year, but now I'm there 365 days here. When I was 22, my dad was 44. four years younger than I am now. Whoa. That's weird. That's a trip. And so I was like at the time of 22, I'd be like, dad, like,
Starting point is 00:59:11 you're like, let me, like, you're good. Like, like, I mean, the thought. Like, I'm 48, I think I said earlier. I'm like in the, I'm like just starting. Like, like, so, you know, for my dad, it was, you know, he was thrilled because the business went from four to 10 to 17 to 25 to 30. Like, I fucking annihilated it. changed the course of our lives.
Starting point is 00:59:33 He brought it online, right? Brought it online. That was the whole punchline. But he lost his identity as the man. And I didn't want him micromanaging because I'm like, I'm fucking giving up my fucking 20s for you. Because I also had my own resentment. I didn't own any piece of the business
Starting point is 00:59:48 and he wasn't paying me a lot. I love when people are like, don't listen to Gary B. He inherited a winery. I'm like, okay, let's start from the top. It's a wine store in New Jersey. I inherited nothing. And as a matter of fact,
Starting point is 01:00:00 there are very few people on, earth that will give 150 hours a week for 12 straight years, give up their entire childhood, all their fun of their 20s, and work every day to build a business for their parents. Very few. I sit in very rare air. When people try to razz me at don't listen to this guy, I'm like, you don't know, you're complimenting me because I sit on an island with very few other human beings. It's interesting to watch you and know you for as long as we've known you, though.
Starting point is 01:00:28 When you talk about your parents, you get very emotional. And I look at it as like still to this day making your parents proud is probably one of the biggest driving factors in your life. 100%. And not only is that true, I just love them different, you know? Well, that's what I was saying. Like my dad's 80 now and we talk about this and Lauren's lost a parent. And when you start to think, oh, you're going to lose this business or you're going to have a business. Like all that stuff, it pales in comparison.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Like when I think about losing my dad and I'll get emotional if I think too much, or with her, or losing her, like that's the stuff that like... Oh, dude, it's why I'm happy all the time. And it's why... Bro, it's why I'm constantly happy. Because you have that, yeah. Yeah, because if I woke up today and nothing... Like, when I tell you, like, even looking at my phone
Starting point is 01:01:13 after this interview, I'm only looking for one thing. Is everyone good? Yeah. My life is so simple. In all the complexity, right? The 800... Like, everyone's like, he's so crazy. I'm like, I'm the simplest.
Starting point is 01:01:26 I'm the simplest of them all. You're grounded in the perspective of the things that are really important and the other stuff is the game. Of course I have micro concerns. Of course I'm in the game, right? It's like being a competitor. It's like, you know, like when you're playing basketball
Starting point is 01:01:38 and like you're, like, I'm me, like I'm in it. But like, not real life. I'm detached from it. That's why, by the way, that's why I'm so pumped about Mimi in the middle. You talk about Mimi in the middle. I believe every parent that's listening to this that buys this and reads it to their kids
Starting point is 01:01:53 is also going to be affected by it. I am going to build a BeFriends world. BeFriends is Pokemon meets Sesame Street. Obviously, Obviously the NFT thing got every, like with the hype and everything. But it started there, but it's an Omni brand, cartoons, toys, trade. If you go to eBay right now, please do this. Please go to eBay right now and type in Vee friends and go to completed auctions.
Starting point is 01:02:14 You'll be blown away trading cards and squish mella. It's like I'm built, like, by the way, back to like, I'm doing it again when I was Gary Vee, but I was really building VaynerMedia. Right now I'm VaynerMedia and Gary Viener. But really what I'm building is like literally the next Marvel Pokemon. Like I can't wait for everyone in 20 years, be like, where do, and I'm doing it right, I'm doing it right now.
Starting point is 01:02:36 And yet, back to like I told my dad, no one's going to do it or no one's going to see it, even though I'm telling you that I'm building one of the biggest intellectual properties of all time, people don't believe you, and that's okay. And by the way, I might not. You don't think people believe you at this point? Still no.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Still no. Still no. If people believe me, everybody would run out and buy, how many V-Friends series one NFTs do you have? Yeah, Michael. I don't have any V-Friends. Series 1. You want to get some.
Starting point is 01:03:01 But I don't have any. No, that's okay. That's okay. But listen, I don't have any NFTs. That's right. Comma, if you believe that I was building one
Starting point is 01:03:07 of the biggest intellectual properties in all time. I should have gone in there. And you would know that you should go after this interview and go to OpenC and buy a BFriends series one because that will be
Starting point is 01:03:15 the ultimate collectible. That would be like comic book number one. So no, I don't believe that people are. You have to go buy it now that he just said it. I'm sure the price has gone up. No, no, no. Actually, it's a great time in NFT land. Everyone's confused about NFTs.
Starting point is 01:03:27 NFTs are forever, but everybody thinks NFTs are beanie babies. NFTs are stuffed animals. Only 1% of NFTs are going to be good. Let me ask you, like, if this is the wrong analogy. I was explaining, someone was asking about this, talking about this. And I said, okay, if you look at the watch market, there's certain periods, there's people that love watches, love it. You may put zero value, another person may put a million dollar. Correct.
Starting point is 01:03:50 What about art? There's people that buy $8 million pieces of art. I'm like, I don't even want a poster. What about sneakers? The thing that everyone got, everyone just, thinks that NFTs are all art, all watches. One percent of watches are worth money. One percent of trading.
Starting point is 01:04:05 You know many trading cards have been made in the last hundred years? God trillions. But Michael Jordan's rookie card's worth a lot of money. What people got confused of it is they coupled all NFTs into one thing. Not all, everybody was confused. Not all NFTs are going to be worth money.
Starting point is 01:04:22 The 1% of NFTs are going to be worth money because they're going to be digital collectible art. and collectibles. V-Friends series one is something I'm going to try to make people give a shit about. If they start by reading about Patient Pig when they're five, by the time they think Patient-Pig is cool as they go up the ladder into comic books and animation and anime and movies and toys and collectibles and trading cards, that made them bring them to the ultimate collectible, which is the first one, the V-Friends series one. Now I better get on OpenC. My hair has never been thicker or longer in my life. I used to wear Clippin,
Starting point is 01:05:00 extensions and it's just completely transformed. So what I do is I changed my hair color. I think that's important. I eat a lot of meat, amino acids in the meat, and I'm micrnealing my scalp. And most importantly, I am supplementing. I use Nutraful. I use it every single day. I've noticed a huge difference. So what I do is I'll take four meals every day with my lunch. It's super easy. I keep it in the kitchen so I can just grab it quick. And the things that I've noticed, and you can see this, this on my Instagram story is a real visible thickness. I don't have shedding at all anymore. Like, it's wild. So if you're looking for a supplement that really is geared towards hair, this is the one. Nutraful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement.
Starting point is 01:05:49 There's over one million people seeing thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding, and I'm one of them. Your hair is never just about your hair, and Nutraful knows that. That's why Nutraful takes a whole body approach to hair health. So they address the problems inside to help hair grow on the outside. It supports your lifestyle, not just your hairstyle. Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair for a limited time. Nutraful is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription. You also get free shipping when you go to Nutraful.com and Inner promo code skinny hair.
Starting point is 01:06:21 That's Nutraful.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L-L-com, promo code skinny hair. That's nutraful.com promo code skinny hair. The other day I was on a Zoom with my friend Nick, who is one of the founders of Thrive Market. Thrive Market has been a partner of this show almost since the beginning. We love this company so much. They've done such an incredible job over the years. For years, Thrive Market has been our go-to for all of our grocery household essentials and the convenience of ordering everything on their website or app
Starting point is 01:06:47 and getting everything delivered to our doorstep quickly is a huge stress reliever. I talk all the time about how I just don't go to the grocery store anymore. I go to platforms like Thrive Market to make sure that I'm saving time and also getting the best ingredients. They carry many of our favorite brands like Primal Kitchen, Four Sigma Antis, Choms, all the stuff that we get all the time, all in one place. I don't have to go to 18 different websites. And like I said, it's straight to your door. I love that Thrive Market only allows trusted top quality ingredients while restricting over a thousand harmful ingredients like artificial flavors, high fructose corn syrup, and more. You can also break it down and filter it whether
Starting point is 01:07:19 you're looking for organic snacks, low sugar alternatives, high protein. They have something for everyone and not just groceries. They have supplements and household goods, all sorts of stuff. Not only do you save time shopping as a Thrive Market member, you also save money on every single grocery order. On average, I save over 30% each time. They even have a price match guarantee and deals page that changes every single week. In addition to saving money and getting better ingredients, it also is a mission-driven company. When you join Thrive Market, you are also helping a family in need with their one-for-one membership matching program. You join and they give. And of course, we have an offer just for this audience.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Save time and money and shop ThriveMarket today. Go to ThriveMarket.com slash Skinny for 30% off your first order, plus a free $60 gift. that's T-R-I-V-E Market.com slash skinny. ThriveMarker.com slash Skinny. The Skinny Confidential him and her podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. One of the greatest benefits that Lauren and I get from doing this show is that we get to share our thoughts rather regularly with all sorts of different people, all sorts of walks
Starting point is 01:08:19 of life. We try to be as vulnerable as possible in here. It's actually been a little bit of like couples therapy for us because we're going through all of these great conversations and talking about issues. Many of the times those are our personal issues and we're learning from some of the best in the business. We've had the pleasure of having all sorts of different therapists on this podcast and also a lot of high performers.
Starting point is 01:08:38 One of the common denominators that we see for people that are enjoying life, happy in life, productive, hitting their goals, feeling fulfilled, all of the things that you want out of life is that many of them utilize therapy to better themselves. This is why we love BetterHelp so much. Better Help brings therapy straight to your door, easily accessible, and, like I said, right from the comfort of your own home, where you can be comfortable, no longer having to drive to a doctor's office, sit in a waiting room, have that kind of awkward interaction with the magazine. BetterHelp is entirely online and designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.
Starting point is 01:09:10 All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge and for no reason. So if you've been thinking about starting therapy, you've been on the fence, you don't know where to start. Give BetterHelp a try. Like I said, you can do it right from your home all privately. And I think if you do, it will change your life. Just getting your thoughts out there, just talking, speaking things into existence,
Starting point is 01:09:29 getting things off your chest is going to be such a game changer for people that are not so great at sharing what they need, their emotions. Just talking things through with someone can really help you out. So get it off your chest with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Skinny today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash skinny. Betterhelp.com slash skinny. How do you have the energy every day?
Starting point is 01:09:54 What are this wellness and self-care? No one asks you this. I know you sleep a lot. Okay. Are you like juice? Like what are we doing here? No. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:10:02 I actually don't consume a whole lot. Coffee? Yeah, I like coffee. But I don't, I'm very funny with coffee. It's like full cup, drink a third of it, throw it out, it gets cold. Like I'll probably get through one or two cups of coffee a day. But I have like nine. They're always, you know, it's funny.
Starting point is 01:10:15 Back to childhood, I always had tea because I'm a Russian family. We always had tea around consulate. constantly. There was always tea. Got home from school 3 o'clock at the morning. Want tea? Tea?
Starting point is 01:10:25 Not like water. Tea was a big thing in Russian culture. Russian tea room like that kind of stuff. So I think something happened that that's like comfort for me. I always need a hot beverage around me.
Starting point is 01:10:35 There are times when I have full cups of coffee and tea. I don't even take one sip. The concept of it being there is warming to me. So yes, I drink coffee. But no, I think my big ones are sleeps huge.
Starting point is 01:10:47 That was why I always laugh when we're like, Gary's going to get you burnt out. I'm like, I'm the one fucking tell everybody I'm sleeping seven, eight, nine hours a day. I've never been like, like, there's moments to sleep four hours. Like, if you have a big project coming out, when V-Rens was going, I was fucking
Starting point is 01:11:00 not sleeping a lot, like, I was in it. That's a couple weeks. Like, I sleep a lot, but I have, the reason I'm good is I have deep peace of mind. I'm not anxious. Like, everyone's like, I'm in a cold plunge, and I'm going to ground, and I'm going to meditate, and I'm going to Joe Dispenza.
Starting point is 01:11:17 Are you about Lord? Do you about Lord? Yeah, and Mona, like, like, everyone, and everyone. And Mona, yeah. And everyone. And I'm like, yeah, I just already know. So there's no, like, healthy breakfast. There's no workout you do every day. There's no electrolyte water. I want to talk about this for a second. I've no idea what that even means. I've heard of electrolyte water. But if you told me for a billion dollars, Gary, tell us what electrolytes is. I'm like, I don't know. Some marketing thing they came up with the cell more water. There's one thing you haven't done for us yet. And I just play couples therapists. And what I tell Lauren all of, time because, you know, similar to Mona, she's always telling me to prime with all these 18 things. And what I'd say to her sometimes is like, I'm good. Well, you've clearly been doing, unlike me, I do something. You've definitely been doing the face stuff. I've been doing this. I do it. I know it. I do it. I do a lot of the stuff. Because you're vain. He loves his beauty. He loves his beauty. Listen, I'm quarter Japanese. He's a quarter Japanese. He loves his beauty. You're right. Right. You're fucking. There's the manscaper. There's the colostrum serum.
Starting point is 01:12:14 But I will say with some things, though, I'm like, listen, I just already feel good and feel happy. You don't need to do the 18 things that like to get there. Oh, my favorite thing on Earth is when I'm working and Mona's reading something and she'll get excited about something. She's like, da-da-da. And she's like, wait a minute, you're already like that. Like, I wake up. What do you mean? I wake up.
Starting point is 01:12:35 Look, on the physical things, like I will be very wrinkly like my dad. I've never done a single thing for my face and I'm so animated. I will be a wrinkle monster. I'll give you an ice roller after. I don't give you an ice roller. I don't give a shit. But so the physical stuff. Look, I definitely, I work out, I'm eating so much better.
Starting point is 01:12:52 I eat better now because Mona took me to, it's not a calories game, it's a clean game. So I'm putting better stuff in my body, yes, I'm talking about the mental game. The mental game is the game. That's what I'm talking about that. Yeah, the mental game is perspective. Like, the mental game is self-esteem. The mental game is ready, the mental game is very simple. I'll save a lot of people a lot of time and energy.
Starting point is 01:13:15 Go. Do you value other? people's opinions more than you value your opinion of yourself. A lot of people do. I know. And I'm telling everyone, don't do that. How, how, what are some tangible things that they can do? Don't do that. Sounds easy, but for a lot of people, very hard. Everyone's different. For some people, it is years of deep therapy. For other people, it's it's meditation. But I believe the secret to What I'm saying is grounded in one thing. How much negative or positive information are you consuming?
Starting point is 01:13:58 If you are somebody right now who struggles with those insecurities, I believe the formula has to do with your consumption of information. Who is in your ears? What is in front of your eyes? People love to shit on social media. Do you know that I can't find a single positive thing on mainstream media? can't find positive thing on mainstream media. Of course.
Starting point is 01:14:22 Go read any newspaper, any magazine, any television show, radio show. It's all negative. People gave us a lot of shit. We said we don't have cable television in the house anymore because that's reason. I also don't watch people's Instagram story. I star only positive content. You're on my star. You can pick and choose and curate what you want to see.
Starting point is 01:14:41 I don't buy it. My fucking content is rainbows and sunshine and the Knicks and the Jets and garage sale. Right. Like, happy things. Happy things. Social media exposed us. It didn't change us. And I can find unlimited positive shit.
Starting point is 01:14:54 I'm so grateful for social. There are people like you out there. You don't get airtime on CNN or Fox. It's too positive. You're not selling fear. You're not selling rubber necking. So they need to be mindful about what they're consuming. I believe that that is the point.
Starting point is 01:15:11 And I think that starts actually in a very close place, not on your phone and not on your TV. I think it starts with your relationship. I believe there are many people that should get divorced. Yeah. That aren't because their spouse is super negative and they're dragging them down. I think that before you do that, couples there's other things to do. I'm hoping not people are like, well, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:32 Don't do that, don't take me out of context. But I believe a lot of people have parents that are 70 that have been negative all 40 years of their childhood and life and I don't think they should talk to that. If your mom is extremely negative and you talk to that, and you talk to you, to your mom four times a day because you're trying to re-hebitilitate your mom. You only have so much energy. And you're 40 now.
Starting point is 01:15:57 I think you should talk to your mom twice a week instead of four times a day. And you should reallocate those hours to maybe your positive husband, to maybe your positive oldest son, to maybe a positive podcast. What you consume dictates what you think. It's why the world's changing so fast right now.
Starting point is 01:16:15 There's so many new voices, so many new thoughts, so many different thoughts. It's why the world is changing. I believe the way that people get into a better mental place is by consuming practical optimism. Not delusional. I remember when the secret came out.
Starting point is 01:16:31 Everybody kind of like misunderstood that book. They were like, if I just sit on my couch and pray for money, I'll get money. I'm like, I don't think I didn't read the book, but I was like, I have a funny feeling that's not what the book says. No, no, practical optimism. I talk about a lot of optimistic things, but it requires action. When you read the new book. I know. Tell us about that.
Starting point is 01:16:52 Day trading attention is hard. When people hear me talk about lots of content and this and you have to know how YouTube shorts works for like, it's hard. Same with what we're talking about now. It's hard to tell your mom who you've been enabling for 40 years that you need to cut her out a little bit.
Starting point is 01:17:09 I don't mean cancel your mom. I mean regulate. It's hard to quit a job that pays you $200,000 a year without knowing your next job, but your boss and your co-workers are so toxic, it's been draining you for eight years. I don't think that's easy.
Starting point is 01:17:25 Not when you have a mortgage. Not when you have college bills coming up, but I can tell you it's the answer of how to get happier. The point is, is it all starts with you and you have to take extreme accountability for your own life and look around and really look at the content you're consuming, look who you're around and actually say you have the power.
Starting point is 01:17:45 There's not one. person's excuse that I'm willing to listen to for a sustained time. I'll be there for compassion up front. But eventually, we're going to have to talk about what are you going to do about it. My friends, there's a lot of you doing this. Listen, if you're listening right now and you're 35 to 65, I'm going wide. You're in the era of where you have to stop blaming your parents for everything. Here's even younger.
Starting point is 01:18:11 Yeah, and I'm just, I'm being, look what I'm doing. I'm being very empathetic. I'm starting just at 35. That's old though. I get it, brother, and I'm with you, but I'm going to be incredibly compassionate. If you're 35 to 6, forget about the 25, 28 years. You're still kind of, like,
Starting point is 01:18:27 most people on earth 35 to 65 continue to blame their parents for what hasn't worked out. And what I'm saying to them in the middle of this podcast is, hey, it's time to let that go and ask yourself, what are you going to do about it? Because let me give you an insight. Your parents, they had parents too. and I love that you love Grandma Fran
Starting point is 01:18:48 but Grandma Fran's the one who fucked up your mom for you to be mad at your mom No by the way before we shit on Grandma Fran I don't know if you know about great grandma Gertrude But she fucked up Grandma Fran And so like this lack of compassion or empathy For our parents who also got fucked up And this inability to be accountable
Starting point is 01:19:05 For our ability to fix our fucked up Like you have generational shit Be the one that stops it Or just be a contributor to the shit that's bothered you your whole life either you're a part of it or you break it. Yeah, you know, it's so funny. You mentioned your dad was 44 when you guys were working together, and I think about now having kids of my own.
Starting point is 01:19:22 My mom was 22 when she had, and you're blaming you. I just know what she's doing. You're blaming these people. I was on the bar with my tits out at 22. Jesus, you're fucking lucky that your mom was like even responsible. You still kind of are. No, but the,
Starting point is 01:19:37 that's why he likes you. Yeah, of course. To think, I saw, I went to that bar. To think that like we're blaming people. that were that age and they were, in many cases, younger than us for all of our problems later in life,
Starting point is 01:19:49 it's crazy to me. Yes, and you combine that with where we are now with entitlement at scale where we think everyone should see the world the way we see it. When you guys move from L.A. to Texas.
Starting point is 01:20:00 Oh, God. Oh, God is right. I am so sure. I remember hearing that. You know, either Fremona or seeing it, I'm like, oh, these poor two are about to get so much judgment from so many,
Starting point is 01:20:09 because you did it a little bit earlier, right? Yeah. And I'm like, look, everyone's allowed to do like I don't understand the audacity of thinking your opinions on other people's lives are like right oh yeah we got lots of shit or like just think about I mean we've done same people reach out and ask me how I like it and what's your neighborhood to live at this point now it's always that it's always that 800 of these and we've had people here and here all sides of the political spectrum and it's so funny because we have somebody on the right
Starting point is 01:20:38 people get really flustered we have someone the left they get really flustered I'm like listen we just want to listen to people and understand what makes them tick. Look, me in the middle and they're trading attention as purple for a reason. I'm obsessed right now with purple. I'm so tired of red and blue. I think most are. It's such horseshit. Purple's royal.
Starting point is 01:20:55 It is. Purple is royal. I also think the other thing that happened. You know what really bothers me the most about the extreme red and blue of our society? We lost civility in it. Oh yeah. We're just so nasty. And politicians are to blame. I'm so upset with our politicians. Their lack of civility towards
Starting point is 01:21:11 each other completely trickled down. I think it's such a shame. It's such a shame. We have to get to a point to where people are able to change their mind. Well, that's for damn sure. Like, we get so stuck in the mud and the opinion. You have to be able to evolve your opinion. I'm pumped when I change my mind.
Starting point is 01:21:28 It's amazing. I love it. I mean, it's gross. There's no room to change your mind anymore. You know what the scary part is? People change their minds on things to be fully red and blue. I've watched friends in my circle. I don't, by the way, on the record,
Starting point is 01:21:42 I don't judge my friends that are red or blue. I really don't. I'm super purple and I'm like, because I'm purple, I get it, I get it, I get it. I don't like that, I don't like that. Like, I voted for both parties in my whole life. Like, I'm like pretty fucking purple. I just hate the idea of like having to pick aside
Starting point is 01:21:57 without knowing what the issues are. Well, the part that really fucked me up was like five, six years ago when it was really starting to get full momentum. I was like, oh, people are changing their minds to be red or blue. Yeah. I literally watch people change their mind
Starting point is 01:22:09 on abortion or gun control or big issues. I know them. I'm like, I know what you've thought. about this. I'm like, wait, you feel the peer pressure to be fully one or the other. That was sad. The extremities pulled everybody in. We'll go back. By the way, the 1960s were like this. Like, it ebbs and flows. It ebbs and flows. I always believe in people. Think about how many bad business decisions were made because of that as well. Oh, God. Look, business to me is a whole different game. You're a media guy. Well, here's my thing. Everyone now asking their businesses to be
Starting point is 01:22:38 political is the funniest shit I've ever seen. Please go off on that. You know, I want you to go off on because... Businesses are not capable of it. Of course. Businesses don't have the luxury of what media, governments, teachers, academia, like businesses have to either live or die.
Starting point is 01:22:55 It's merit. Businesses are like sports. Like, businesses have thousands of employees that see it both ways. What would you like them to do? I want to speak on Texas. It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:23:04 Running this company, half Texas, half L.A. during the pandemic. You're in fake Texas. Austin is not necessarily in Texas. Real Texas people will look at and say this isn't Texas. Exactly. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:23:13 But it was funny because you're like, half the company says, if you do this thing, we're out, the other half of the company saying, if you don't do this thing, we're out. I'm like, guys, like, I'm like everyone. My point of view is like, everyone should be out. I'll start all over. I'm not, I'm not, how can you appease everyone?
Starting point is 01:23:26 Carson knows. We've done it. I sat down and said, listen, if you guys, like, if people got to go, they got to go. I can't, you know, I can't micromanage everyone's personal lives. And by the way, I also am empathetic to everyone. Of course. I'm, I get it.
Starting point is 01:23:37 But like, anyway, listen, back to meet me in the middle, real quick, because I really know there's a lot of young parents here, and I'm pumped because I think a lot of them will pick this book up. My favorite part is when they read it to their kids, they're going to have their own ahas. We're going to read it tonight to our kids. No, that's not the real one, is it? We don't have the real one. No, you have the fake one. You have the fake one.
Starting point is 01:23:56 Yeah, it's not out yet. I don't even have it. I don't even know what the fuck's in. There is stuff in it. Oh, it is the real one? Oh, fuck, I want that. Yeah, we'll buy it. How many?
Starting point is 01:24:08 A thousand? We'll buy it. We'll buy it. Listeners? We'll buy a bunch of the listener. What are these? How many listeners you have?
Starting point is 01:24:13 What are these books? Hopefully not 40,000. We have 100 listeners. No, just kidding. Good. We can do a giveaway. I'm kidding. We can do a giveaway.
Starting point is 01:24:23 We can do a giveaway. I'm really genuinely joking. That actually can be fun. I'm genuinely joking. I'm genuinely joking. I'm not joking. Buy 5,000. No, no.
Starting point is 01:24:29 All right, here we go. Day trading attention, how to actually build brand and sales in the new social media world. What can people who are listening expect? What value are they going to Whether they're a creator on day seven of being a beauty influencer or they're the CMO of Coca-Cola. Okay.
Starting point is 01:24:47 This is the modern Bible on how to be as good as possible at marketing. I believe this has a dark horse chance of being the signature book. I don't know what the signature book of TV advertising was in 1968 when TV had just passed radio. Like Ogleville on advertising. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I don't want to speak as if I do.
Starting point is 01:25:08 my hope when I wrote it, and I think it has a 5% chance, because it's hard to pull off what I'm about to say. But this book has the potential to be the true Bible blueprint architect for the next five years of social media marketing, which I believe is by far now
Starting point is 01:25:26 the most important form of marketing and advertising. And so I wrote it with the intent that if you are literally doing 100,000 a year selling nail polish because you're making good TikToks, I can win for you. for you. If you're the CMO of Coca-Cola or BMW,
Starting point is 01:25:41 I can win for you and the most interesting crowd, you too. Now, unlike when I wrote Crush It, even unlike when I wrote Jab, Jab, Jab, there are a lot of people that actually know what the fuck is going on. I wanted to write a book for even that set that I just know that you two, and you're in it, and I'm watching you from afar and I know what's going on.
Starting point is 01:26:01 Like when you really read it, you're like, fuck, we're not doing that or shit. That's why our fucking- I already found five things I'm not doing it. It's funny you mentioned that. I also think that, like, you get comfortable. You even said it. You get comfortable on one platform and you want to settle in and you want to get cozy.
Starting point is 01:26:19 I constantly want to be challenging my perspective and my point of view. And you always seem to do that for me throughout all your books. Thank you. I'm also in a great place of my career right now. Not only am I still Gary B, who wrote Crush and all that, but now Vayner X is huge. We're 2,000 people. It's global, right? Like, we're huge in Asia.
Starting point is 01:26:36 We're huge in Latam. We're huge in Europe. We're big. We're spending billions of dollars in media on behalf of clients in social. Spend more with your media. You know what I mean? We're going back and forth. Look at it.
Starting point is 01:26:49 We are really, really in it. And I'm at the helm of that. So it's almost like my dream of what I wanted to do, which was if I'm the emperor, like in Star Wars, of social media, if I build the Death Star Vayner Media, that can point at anything and blow it up. And that's what I've been doing for the last 15 years quietly. And you know what I would say,
Starting point is 01:27:07 on a smaller scale, sometimes we go and speak to students at schools and mostly get brought in to talk about like this whole world we all now live in because a lot of students, they're just not taught in school, right? Of course. I at my stage, my creative, I'm looking for books like, like, what do you read that's relevant? It's hard. It's hard to find. But this is very relevant to- ready for this? So I think in the shower like a son of a bitch. Like it's my single favorite place to think. But I also take very fast showers. So I have like blitzes of like four-minute like thinking. Literally this morning, literally this morning in the hotel. I was like, oh, I need to get serious
Starting point is 01:27:38 because I knew I was doing today a bunch of book stuff I was like fuck I need to get serious with college professors this is the curriculum book yeah this is the curriculum yeah this is the curriculum
Starting point is 01:27:47 I did a great job with that on maybe Jab Jab Jab one of my books I went Ham on thank you I don't remember this is the one I'm supposed to do with but I love this from like any stage and even for Lauren and I we will get value from this now
Starting point is 01:27:59 and there's not a lot of people you can go to that know their shit in this space does that make sense 100% like you can read about a lot of great executives but they haven't done in this way. And even me who's putting out
Starting point is 01:28:09 a lot of good content every day to help everyone good, a book, I can really sit down and like nail it because you're getting clips of me. Hot takes, quick thoughts, but I was able to go platform by platform. I mean, for example,
Starting point is 01:28:22 you two would explode on LinkedIn organically. Oh, you're right. Organic clips of this podcast on LinkedIn would fucking crush. Taylor, you listen to that? And that's not something I think is top of mind. Like that's not how people are thinking.
Starting point is 01:28:38 Like this kind of podcast on LinkedIn, what are you talking about, Gary? Yes, because there's a lot of attention on it. There's a lot of young professionals on it. And some people don't like social media so the only place you can fucking find them is LinkedIn. I'm platform agnostic. I can't wait to be on this show in 20 years
Starting point is 01:28:56 and say, you guys are still doing social media? Like, I don't give a fuck about social media. Be the next thing. I give a fuck about attention. Where's the attention? And one day that's going to be in VR, or AR or some shit we don't even know. This just, by the way, if I wrote books in the early part of my career,
Starting point is 01:29:12 I would have had a book called Email is King. Right. I would have been like searching for search. Right. You know, I would have been like doing like websites are wonders. AdWords for days. Yeah. I'm putting it out there that one day could be in 10 years,
Starting point is 01:29:28 but I'm putting out positivity that skinny confidential is going to hire Vayner for my product line. I love it. I'm putting it out there. Gary V, thank you for taking time. Thank you. I'm going to do a TikTok with you for two minutes.
Starting point is 01:29:43 I want to make sure I'm fitted into your schedule. Go watch my TikTok. Where can everyone buy your book, your kids' book, where can they find you, all the things? If I have not accomplished that yet, then I've done a bad job. I think everyone listening to this is going to be very capable of finding whatever they want to find.
Starting point is 01:30:01 So I appreciate you for that, but I'm going to leave it at that. One of my last things to say, one of my, you just remind me, favorite things you ever said, one time someone asked you a question, you said, G-O-O-G-L-I. I used to use that as a good stick in my keynotes.
Starting point is 01:30:13 I was like, because I would talk, you know, I was realizing when I was giving talks, I'd be like, you know, like, I'm like, okay, what you got to do on LinkedIn? And people are like, well, how do you make newsletters on LinkedIn? I'm like, I got you. And I remember the first time I did,
Starting point is 01:30:26 it was a huge crowd. Might have been south by south. It was a, I just remember it was a big ass crowd, 10,000, not like 100. And I was just like, all right, everybody take out your bed. be like, here we go. G-O-G. I mean, this is what get this career students. But Gary, how do I run ads on TikTok? If you don't know that you can Google that, then we're in big
Starting point is 01:30:47 trouble already. Forever student. Thank you, Gary. For the man. Thank you. To reduce puffiness, increase circulation, restore the radiance of your skin, shrink your pores, and firm the skin with the new mint roller. It is so cute. It comes in two boxes. You might get butter cream, you might get pink, the box is lined with fur, you pull it out, and you can just throw it in your gym bag, throw it in your travel bag, throw it in your toiletry bag, and go. That's shopskinicomfidential.com. Go shop the mint roller.

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