The Bossticks - How To Ignore The Pregnancy Police With Weslie & Bronson Christensen

Episode Date: October 8, 2019

#220: On this episode we sit down with our friends Weslie and Bronson Christensen. These are two of our favorite people and for long time fans of the show, you will recognize their names. This is their second appearance on the show (the first being Ep. #61 back in 2017!). On today's episode we are talking kids, families, babies, and how to manage it all well!  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by THRIVE MARKET. We use Thrive for our online grocery delivery on a weekly basis and we also now get our wine at Thrive! They provide the highest quality products and ingredients delivered straight to our door with unbeatable prices.  Be sure to grab our deal by going to to https://thrivemarket.com/skinny to receive 25% off your first order (Max $20) + free shipping and a 30 day trial. This episode is brought to you by ROOTZ NUTRITION Whether your goal is to start seeing better results in the gym, or just look and feel your best, you are going to love the Rootz Protein Superfood.Packed with protein, greens, electrolytes, and tons of superfoods, it's perfect for adding to your morning smoothie, drinking after exercise, or as a quick and easy meal replacement at any time during the day. Use code SKINNY for 20% off your entire order. This episode is brought to you by JustFab Get your first JustFab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That's 75% off your first item with my special link. Just go to JustFab.com/skinny to take advantage of this deal now. You can also get FREE shipping on orders over $39 and there's absolutely no commitment when you purchase your first order!  Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a dear media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

I think the thing that makes us good parents or any parent a good parent is just liking yourself as a parent. Like not, this is when I feel like I'm tripping over myself is when I feel like I need to be in a mother role. Because then I'm playing a part. But when I feel like I'm just being myself with a kid, I'm like in my flow. Like I think kids want that too. They just want you to be your best self. Like nothing like motherhood is a call to become your most true, happy, authentic self. Hey now.

That's what that's the Howard Stern. Hey now. Guys, welcome back. to the skinny confidential him and her show. That clip was from our guest of the show today, two of our favorite people on the planet, Wesley and Bronson, or Bronno, Christensen. Guys, we are excited about this one. This is the second time Wesley and Brano have been on the show. First one was a long while back for people that have been listening since the beginning. Episode 61 back in May of 2017, I highly suggest going back and taking a listen to that one.

This couple is incredible. They're back on the show today. We're talking kids. We're talking a lot of things. My name is Michael Bostic. I am a serial entrepreneur in Brand builder, most recently the CEO of the Dear Media Podcast Network, and across her me, looking, whoa, whoa, what is going on over there with those cannons? My wife, Lauren Everts. I'm Lauren Everts and my tits are hanging out. I don't even know how you can concentrate right now. I kind of can.

I was trying to do that intro, and I think, guys, I probably missed some things that we talked about on the show, you know, when I was trying to talk about what we talked about, because I'm looking at these giant things in front of my face. Taylor, no need to walk around the wall. Taylor, stay behind the wall. Taylor, you're hanging your head over the wall. Don't be checking out a pregnant person, all right? Guys, we are, we had a lot of fun recording this episode, which you're going to hear in a minute.

But, you know, before we get into it, I want to take a couple minutes to do a little follow-up, got a little hot water, not even hot water, but there was a lot of uproar. A little about last week's coffee, you know, my response about how we can't get coffee and how I don't do coffee and how I don't want people. No, not just how we can't get coffee, how people. Anyone. Anyone can get coffee and pick the brain. Pick the brain's got to go. So we got an episode coming out with Ryan Holiday where we dive into this elaborately. But I want to talk about it right now. I want to address it. So listen, there's a lot of people writing, some people were really into it saying, hey, really happy you called this out. It's really annoying when people reach out for coffee. And then some other people reaching out saying, what, this is maybe a little arrogant. Like you don't take time to sit down with people. You don't want to get coffee. All these things. Okay. Let's let me elaborate here a little bit because last time I was just on a tangent, Lauren. I'm not saying that you shouldn't seek out mentors or make requests of people that are maybe a little further along or have an expertise to sit down and have copy.

That's not what I'm saying. Yes. Can you explain what you're saying? Because I get what you're saying. Yes. What I'm saying is the way that you generally ask. And when I say you, I mean all of us collectively. We've all been guilty of it.

And doing a cold outreach of any kind saying, can I pick your brain? That to me translates to, can I take something from you with very. little value, if any, offered. And what I'm trying to let people know and what I'm trying to point out is that it's a lazy way to reach out to get someone's attention. There's more ways to get creative. I think that there's ways where you can reach out to someone to be your mentor or to get coffee with them that are more creative than can I pick your brain. So I think that's what Michael was trying to say. It got a little lost in translation, though. I don't know if it got necessarily lost in translation. I just think we need to elaborate a little bit more. Listen, I do think 100%, there's people reach out and said, hey, well, my coach is saying I should seek mentors. You should seek them in form of podcasts. You should seek them in form of people, books, resources. Yes, you should always be looking to level up. But you have to get creative and actually put in some time and effort to get it. For me, I would love to go and sit down with Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett and pick their brains. All right, I'd love to do that. Do you think if I called, cold called or emailed or message any one of them and said, hey, guys, can I buy you a cup of coffee? No, they're not even going to look at it. They're not even going to to respond. There's not a value trade there. I sit down with people on my team all the time. We go on this podcast. We try to mentor as many people as we can. We try to provide as much value. But there has to

be some kind of exchange. So Ryan Holiday gave the example and I think that this is super smart too. And this has actually happened to me before where someone reaches out and says, hey, Lauren or hey Ryan, I noticed there was an error in your blog post or your Instagram caption. I just wanted to let you know this was the error. And if you need any more help with editing, please let me know. That is actually how my editor, Hillary, got the job, I think. I think that's exactly how she got it, if I remember correctly. She reached out and said, hey, there's all these errors in this post. Can I help you make sure that grammar and spelling is always right? And now she's been working with me for probably five years. So she added value. And now, you know, I think that's a way where she didn't

necessarily want a mentor. But if she did want a mentor, I would be. happy to help in any way and answer any questions because she came with a value proposition. Yes, I just want people to understand that while it's important to seek mentors and find these people, you have to refine your strategy. Let's just take the coffee example, for example. And I wrote a comment back on this on the TSC podcast Instagram. And I said, okay, what you're telling me when you reach out for coffee is one, you think that my time is only worth a $2 cup of coffee. Two, you have put so little thought into it that that's the first thing you could think of and three, that the information I'm going to provide you is not worth anything more to you

but that. So what I'm saying is that this is a bad strategy to reach out to people. A better strategy is to put some thought into and say, hmm, what's a unique way I could reach out to this person, put a little thought into it, maybe exchange some value with them? And listen, people are like, well, you know, if I'm not as far along on the path, how am I supposed to offer value? That's, you got to go back to square one. You've got to think, if you can't offer any value to the person, then why are you thinking that they should offer value back to you? And this comes down to self-awareness. If you're an individual, you're like, I have nothing to offer anyone right now, then why do you feel entitled to them that they should give you value? This is my whole

point about self-awareness. There's got to be something better. You've got to think a little bit more outside the box. What can you provide to this person that's going to give them some value? It doesn't have to be monetarily, but something, some thought you've put in, some strategy, you know, some effort to be able to get them to sit down with you and let you pick their brain, you know, which is, you know, if you want to pick that person's brain, it's obviously because there's a value associated with the information they have in their mind. That's all I'm saying. Be self-aware. Think about broader strategies. This whole thing about I need to pick your brain over coffee and put the person in position where they have to feel like a dick for saying no is just,

it's not realistic, right? I don't want to have to say no to people and make me feel bad about myself by saying no because someone was lazy with their ask. So all I'm asking people is to get a little bit more creative, think about providing some bad. value. Yes, seek mentors, but be a little bit more fucking strategic about how you do it, Lauren. Someone that I've become friendly with over Instagram, who's an entrepreneur and a total badass, her Instagram is at Emily Frasella. She says, okay, and I want to shout this out. Episode 218, Lauren, there could be an entire episode about why buy you a coffee and pick your brain is insulting. Like, thanks for the $5 coffee for the 17 years of business info I've

gathered. I'd rather pull my eyelashes out one by one. Anywho, great episode. Emily, that comment on Instagram was hysterical. And I think that she does a good job of, like, wrapping it up in one sentence. However, Michael Bostick, I do think that you should do a solo episode going into actual tangible takeaways that people can apply when they're asking someone to do something for them or give them time or be a mentor. I'm happy to do that. But I do want our audience that's seeking coffee. Anyway, anyone, not just sorry. To sit around and like, instead of being like, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what kind of value.

I'd actually like people to like think about, okay, I want to reach out to this person. What's a unique angle? How can I provide value? Is there a better way than just asking for coffee? I'm telling you, like, I'm not, I'm not, I can't be the only one that's thinking about this. And listen, maybe I'm just a dick. But honestly, I don't care.

I mean, listen, there's some people that are like, well, you know, you don't you want to like sit down and like provide. Don't get lazy now and be like, well, my way of value, like really like put some thought into it. When you were asking me out and I didn't want to date you. I definitely didn't just say, hey, can I pick your burn over coffee? No, how did you, what was your angle? Because you were pretty strategic about it. Well, I had to pull all sorts of stops out. I had to trick you into going to this Vegas trip or your friend's birthday. Then I had to buy you these dinners. Then I had to get you some all sorts of things. I had to woo you. There was a million. What was the one thing that you did,

where you added value to my life? There is one thing that you did. Didn't I just put you in a cab and pay for No, you didn't just put me in account and pay for it. Well, anyway, there were some value there. No, what did you do with my dog? Oh, I won the dog over. Yeah, it took fucking forever, too. It was biting me. You know, it was pissed off.

The dog hated him, and he won the dog over. And when I came home one day, and I saw that that dog was on your lap sleeping in a blanket, wrapped in love, I was like, okay, I could be into this. But guys, okay, let me just say this last thing. Anything that's worth doing is worth trying for, and anything that's easy is probably, not worth holding on to. So if somebody, if you do get in a situation and say there's a weak-minded fool who doesn't know how to say no to being his brain picked over coffee or she, and he or she ends up there with you, do you really think you're getting that person's full dedicated

time? And do you think they're really focused on, like, that's what I'm saying. And so, you know, put some time, put some thought, put some energy, actually get somebody excited to come sit down with you and talk with you and give you this advice. So like I said, we're going to force him to do a solo podcast. I already put it on your calendar. It's all booked. Mimi's going to host it with you and you guys are going to get very into it. And maybe someone who's also trying to date a girl or a guy can get some tips and tricks about how to add value. Yeah. And maybe there's some of these that are just like, what a fucking dick. Yeah, I mean, you can be a dick sometimes.

In that case, I don't think you're being a dick this time. Well, listen. You can be a dick sometimes. You can't win everybody. Yeah, you can't win everybody. Guys, all right. Let's now that we're off that tangent, let's get into this. Wesley and Bronson, Christian. I don't even know how do we start with these two of their wonderful people. three children started they started having kids when like when they were 18 15 14 I don't know gorgeous couple go look at their Instagram and you will just be drooling gorgeous couple gorgeous kids gorgeous family great great gorgeous hair yeah

Jesus Christ I was I mean listen I thought I had good hair anyways sit down with Bronon and we just a little disclaimer we talk about shrooms in this episode no I'm not going to do shrooms when I'm pregnant maybe I'll do shrooms after I'm pregnant but I'm not going to do shrooms while I'm pregnant so no one needs to come out in the messages and DMs and start going crazy over that. I might do them while you're pregnant. Might have already. Anyways, guys, get excited. This one's a fun one. Jumping into it.

Wesley, Bronson, Christensen. Welcome to the show. Before we get into that, I want to tell you what is on my Thrive Market Favorites page. So I updated it recently. So what you're going to find is you're going to find this organic coconut water that's insane for putting in your smoothie as a base. I either like coconut water or plain water.

and I kind of do half and half with this one. And then there's an organic apple cider vinegar. I got my favorite capers in there, some pink sea salt, even peppermint essential oil, which I have this hot tip. I put a little bit on my tongue in the morning after I tongue scrape, and it makes your breath smell all minty, but without that nasty aftertaste. Anyways, you can also find dark chocolate baking chips in there. I like Lily's brand.

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I mean, it's crazy how cheap everything is. There's this Aztec secret healing clay. It's like this Indian clay. I've talked about it seriously for probably 10 years. I think it was one of the first blog posts. And it's something I still use. And you mix it with an apple cider vinegar and put it on your face. and it hardens, and they have it on there for five bucks. It's like $4.99. I got all my vitamins and supplements on reorder, as does Lauren, all our home supplies, pet supplies, everything is all at Thrive Market. Like I said, 25 to 50% below retail. Hard to beat that bargain. If you guys are a fan of the show and you have not shopped on Thrive Market, you're missing out,

go to Thrivemarket.com slash Skinny and get 25% off today. That's Thrivemarket.com slash Skinny. This is the Skinny Confidential. him and her. Guys, you two are two of our favorite people, and we don't get to spend enough time together. I know. It's been, I was looking, episode 61 for people listening,

since 2017, May, that was the first time you came on. It's been way too long. More like 250 of these fucking things, no. I know. You guys are big wigs now. No, no, no, no. Here's what we should do. We should go to the desert and do mushrooms and podcast.

I'm down. I'm down. I think it's healthy for every parent, and you guys are about to be parents. You have to have, like, little weekend, getaways where you can connect with your inner self. That's the perfect way. You're going to have to clarify now.

Yes, we're going to hear all that people. Yes, it'll be after she has the baby. After the baby. Don't. The pregnancy police are real. Oh, honey, just do you wait? Did you experience the pregnancy police back then? The pregnancy police and then the kid, the baby police, the breastfeeding police, it never ends.

It just gets worse. Oh, yeah. Have a coffee. Breastfeed your baby. People are like, you shouldn't be drinking coffee. year, but it's like it never, ever, ever ends. It just gets worse. Here's my thing. I don't know why anyone cares what anyone does with their body. I don't know why either. I feel like the people that are caring need to get busy. Same. When you, okay, you were how old were you guys again when you

first had first care? 19. So young. I know we talked about it on that other. It's all we've ever known. And how, during that time, like, how many voices were in your head, like coming in at you guys? Every single person we've ever known. All of our friends thought we were crazy because we were. Our parents were overly involved because we were children having a child. We honestly had to move away from everyone we ever knew just to create our own little family because we had every single person. And they loved us and they cared. But it was just too much.

Everyone's advice, it was making me sick and I couldn't be the mom that I knew I wanted to be because I was so busy trying to be like everyone else. So you're 19. You find out you're pregnant. Mm-hmm. Do you freak out or are you just mellow? Oh, freak out. He, Bronson knew I was pregnant before I knew I was pregnant.

How's that work? It's the craziest story. He had a feeling I was pregnant. And I was like, there's no way. I think we talked about this in the last podcast. I was on Nuber Ring. And I was like, I'm not pregnant. There is no way.

And he's like, I think we should get a test. So we get a test. We get to his mom's house. I pee in a cup. The second I'm done peeing, don't even flush the toilet. His mom is like, Wesley, come upstairs. She's peeling a pomegranate. And she wants me to help her.

And so to not tip her off, I climb upstairs. And we're doing these pomegranate seeds for like 20 minutes. And the whole while he's downstairs, he put the pee stick in, the pregnancy test. And so he knew for 20 minutes. Were you freaking out? Oh, it was tripping. He was literally wide as a ghost. I came back down and I thought you were dying, like in the process of dying.

He wouldn't even speak. Yeah. I bought about eight pregnancy tests. And I got the most expensive because you think, okay, these are going to be the best. And I just went in and out pregnant, like right when I stuck it in. And I'm just like, oh, God. I mean, like, at 19, I cannot even imagine that. Yeah.

And either can I now. So how was your pregnancy? At 19, I couldn't find my ass with both hands. At 19. I don't know where you were. And you were, like, wearing overalls. Like in the dive bar. Because you were wearing overalls.

You wore overalls without a shirt on that. That was preemie. There's one weird picture that exists. There's a couple. Overeals, Gene overalls with no shirt. And she will never let it go. No, I'm not. The one with you and Terry when you're dressed like a firefighter.

Yep, that's the one. How the fuck do you know? Honestly, that looks like it should be on, I don't know. Taylor, are you sure you want to chime in here? You don't have any questionable pictures? Down Under is like for sure a thing. No. Mimi, pull that picture and put it up on the podcast.

I've caught Taylor. He spent the night at our condo one night. I caught him at three in the morning taking shirtless selfies in the bathroom. No. But that was only like two or three years ago. His orange ear plugs in. Yeah, Taylor, come on. Good lighting.

Taylor, get the fuck off my show. Anyways. What are we talking about here? Okay, so tell us about pregnancy at 19. Like, I was just telling you earlier that I feel that it's really hard to gain weight. It is. I feel like a lot of people say, oh, it's so beautiful. It's really hard to gain weight.

It's not beautiful at all until you look pregnant. You look fat. This is the truth of pregnancy. You look fat and you feel like shit for like seven months. And then all of a sudden, especially with your first baby, like, you know, it takes you longer to pop. So by seven months, you're like, oh, this is cute. And then eight months, you're like huge and uncomfortable.

Nine months, you're crying every day because you want the baby out. So you get one month of cuteness. You get one month of cute. So like take all the photos seven, eight months. Okay. Because nine months in, you truly will cry. Okay. Every day.

So for the next month, I'm going to feel fat and then I'll feel cute for one. You will feel so damn cute. Okay. And then can we also talk about I miss wine? Why does no one say they miss wine? I wasn't old enough to even drink wine. Okay, but your other two pregnancies, did you miss wine? No.

You didn't. I was so sick. So I would lose like 20 pounds within the first three months every single I get so sick. Okay. So maybe if I got sick, I wouldn't want wine. Yeah. I was way too sick to even care or miss anything. And then I just was busy having other kids. I mean, this is what we got to dive into. So you're 19, you have the baby. Have the baby. Any postpartum? Oh my gosh. Yes. And I didn't know. Everyone around me was like, you have the baby. You become a mother. It's the best thing that's ever happened to you. You're going to love this baby so much and that's the truth she came out i was instantly in love with her but actually that's a lie i wasn't instantly in love with her people were like your baby will come out and you will just have this attachment and this bond and zuri came out and i was like who are you like i want i needed a minute to get to know her

i think i'm feeling i was like wait this one's mine like this is our baby like i just needed to get to know her i needed an hour alone with her and then i was like oh i love you you're like the coolest little baby. But it really, it took me a minute because I felt like something was maybe wrong with me when people are like, bawling, they see their baby. My baby came out and I was like, hmm, what's my baby? I feel like that's kind of like, like how I am, was with Michael when we first started dating. I was like, we got to get to, I got to wrap my head around this. Yeah, it took more than a fucking hour, it took about 10 years. Well, you never know me. Yeah. Okay, so, so you wrap your head around it. They give you guys the baby,

which they shouldn't have. It's the scariest thing. Like, I cannot believe they let us walk out of the hospital with a baby. You'll probably feel the same way. Like, you want a manual. You feel like, even if you've read all the books, you do not know what you're doing. They give you the baby and you have to put it in a car seat and go home. I've never been so scared to drive in my life than the day you come home with a baby. You know what we got lucky though, because my sister has a baby, Lauren sister has a baby, so we got to have like some practice runs. Oh, you're so not really, Michael. I've never changed a diaper. Well, you got to step that up. You've got to get over there. Aren't we watching the kid this weekend? Yeah, we're watching. Does he still wear diapers?

I don't know. You'll have to look into that. But here's the other truth about that. I don't love other kids. I love my own. So like when I watch a baby, I'm like, oh, this is kind of hard. But when I'm chilling with our kids, like, I don't want to do anything else. I don't even have a lot of friends. It's because I don't really want a lot of friends.

Like if we have free time, I really like being at home with our kids. They're cool. Well, you have a tribe. Yeah. It's a good thing. It's honestly the thing that makes me the most happy. And yes, it's so hard. And I feel like people either try to make it like the most glorious thing in the world or

are like, oh shit, your life is over. And I don't think either one of those things are true. I find myself really happy in the middle. In the middle? I'm in the middle. And I love it. I wouldn't want to do anything else. I like that.

But it's also not glorious. What's postpartum like? So for me, I had anxiety. Okay. I'm scared of that. Yeah. And no one, no one like warned me about this. It's kind of like, how do you explain it?

Like you have this baby and you love it so much. And Brne Brown actually talks about this. you have this thing in your mind. It's called like impending doom. Like you'll be like holding the baby. You love it so much. You lay it down and you're like, oh, she's so beautiful. I love her so much.

And then you're like, she's going to die tonight. She's going to stop breathing. She's going to, what if something happens? It's like this thing turns on in your brain where you go to worst case scenarios. And it's because you are so responsible. You keep this thing alive. And you just, your mind goes to worst case scenarios all the time. And I thought that something was wrong with me.

And I didn't talk about it with anybody. So I finally went to a doctor after a year. I'm like, listen. I have like morbid thoughts. Like I am constantly thinking that she's going to die, that something's going to happen. And he's like, that's just postpartum. You're having a little bit of anxiety. That's some anxious thoughts.

That's totally normal. But I really felt like I didn't know if it was like my mother's intuition because people are like, you're going to know. You're going to know if something's wrong with your kid. You're not going to be able to explain it. So I'm like, wait, is something really bad going to happen to this baby? I keep having these crazy thoughts. But it was just anxiety.

that gives me anxiety it will but you know what knowing it then you can differentiate because now I know when I'm like having a motherly instinct versus this is just impending doom and it's natural because I love this thing so much I'm scared of it being ripped away when you guys were so young did you have that at all or no

no nothing so the guy doesn't have it no he was cool as a cucumber this motherfucker the other day so I'm like pulled my back out because of all the extra weight you know I pulled my back out too because I just just pull my back out. He starts going on and on about how he pulled his back out. A sympathy back pain?

Listen, both of us could be hungry at the same time. No, no. No, I'm extra hungry. I guess I just got like suffering silence. Yeah, shut up. I don't want to hear about your like sniffle and your back pain right now. I have a headache right now. My back hurts.

So I didn't bring my roller. Especially he decides that he is going to lose weight. He's losing weight right now. That's the meanest thing. He did that to me. He started going to the gym when I was pregnant. and I felt like divorce. Well, Lauren told me this thing early on.

She's like, listen, a lot of guys, like, when the wife's pregnant, they, like, match estrogen levels or, like, you know, testosterone drops estrogen rises. And then they gain, like, pregnancy weight with the wife. And I was like, well, why do I need to do that? I mean, like, I'm not trying to make her feel bad, but I thought, oh, me, I shouldn't let myself go. It doesn't help anybody. You know what we look like when we're having sex right now. Have you seen road trip? Road trip, the really skinny guy.

Oh, my gosh. I know what you're talking about. That is not the truth. You are not that huge. That's not true. That's what I feel like. I feel like I'm going to squish him. I know.

You know? I know. Wait until you're nine months. What position is the most strategic at nine months? You roll over to the side and you just fetal position. So you just, you're an old sow. Like you just give up and just let everything like a cow. Yep. You just let it happen.

You can practice later. You want that. So you have sex to induce labor. You know this, right? Like it's like the only proven thing like semen will ripen your cervix. It's the only proven thing. Wait, so let me get this straight. like, it's like, right when it's about to pop,

you do the deed, and they're like, all right, here we go. You do it all the time. As much as you can. Don't worry, girl. You have to be having a lot of sex. So you want to do this like around the time that you want to? Like 40 weeks. Wow.

Because you're going to want that baby out. You'll do anything. You'll walk the curb. You're going to do some weird cholesterol. Is sex that pregnant? Feel good? Oh, no. Everything is a big, juicy, weird, swollen mess.

You got to use a vibrator if you can like even reach your vagina. I can't see my vagina and shave it. You won't be able to reach it. Like you need to buy a bidet. Do you have a bidet? Oh, no. That's like a really good, that's a good to clean your asshole. Yep, because you can't reach it. I'll be back. You can't see things. Like I don't know what's going on there. No. Like hope for the best. I remember going into labor and being like, bronze, is it okay down there? Like, what do I look like? I can't see it. There's no seeing what it looks like. What was your first baby C-section? Is that rude question? Ask, I don't know.

Oh, no, I don't care at all. Vaginal? Vaginal. Did you do a C-section ever? No, I never had to. I was so grateful I didn't have to do it. Okay, so I want to dive into this. Okay.

You guys are just put here to make babies. Yeah, you guys are put here to make babies. No, literally, I have my babies so quickly, too. My body is meant for birthing children. Do you have a tilted uterus? Do you know if you have a tilted uterus? No, there's like a placenta blocking something, so they think I might need a C-section. Oh, do you have placenta previaseasease?

Previa? I don't know what it's called. They said it's too early to tell because it'll stretch. Yeah, shit moves around, a lot. It's a lot in general. More than she's a medical doctor now. No, okay, so does vaginal hurt? Quickly need to interrupt the show.

My wife needs a little bit more protein because my baby's swimming around. All right. We don't need to get specific like that, Michael. I'm a little concerned that you're not getting enough protein sources, which is why we started working with Roots Nutrition. Okay, guys, I told you on my latest Instagram post that I cannot stomach. meat or fish since I've been pregnant. It turns me off like no tomorrow. The only thing I can kind of stomach is eggs or protein powder. And how I'm doing protein is I'm implementing it

into a green smoothie. I told you a little bit about this. But I'm very, very specific about my protein. So that's why we're working with roots nutrition. Okay, so they have this protein superfood. And you can just throw it right into your green smoothie. It's free of nasty chemicals and sweeteners. There's so many proteins on the market that's filled with that stuff. And this one has no shit in it. This one tastes amazing, okay? It's real whole food based ingredients that you can actually pronounce, which we love. I always tell people to look at the ingredients instead of like the carbs or the calories. I'm always trying to read the ingredients. It's so important. And it has 15 grams of protein, two full servings of fruits and veggies. And there's a blend of eight of the most nutrient-dense

superfoods in the world. So you kind of get it all in one. And one. scoop. I've become a real pro at making smoothies for my wife and my baby. Throw a little kale in there, a couple blueberries, raspberries. There's some roots nutrition in there. Don't forget a date. A couple dates for sweetness. Listen, I need to make sure that you're getting the right protein because listen, it's not just about you anymore. Learner's about what you're growing in your gut. Oh my God. So I need to make sure that you're on top of it. And this is the best way since you won't eat red meat, chicken, or fish right now. I won't eat any of that. I will have specific healthy protein powders like this one or

eggs. Those are my choices right now. It's all I can stomach, like I said. Anyways, guys, trick your significant others, like Lauren tricked me to making you some delicious smoothies. Get your protein in, get some good protein in. Protein superfoods. Go to rootsnutrition.com and enter promo code skinny for 20% off your entire order. Guys, like I said, try the protein superfood. It tastes like banana milkshake, chocolate banana milkshake, really good. Getting in that protein, get strong, make baby strong. Rootsnutrition.com promo code skinny 20% off enjoy. Yes. Oh my God. Yes. It hurts. It is like just picture a bowling ball coming out of your

tiny little body. Like it hurts. Does your vagina rip to your butthole? Mine, ooh, did mine go all the way to my butthole? I never looked. No. I don't remember. I know that mine started to tear, but I had an episiotomy with the first one. So here's another thing that you need to ask. You need to find a doctor. that is willing to sit with you and do, it's called perennial as a flower. What am I trying to say? Purnium. The space between your badge and your butt.

Okay. Massage. They need a massage that. So the last two babies I had, I had midwives, and they would take their thumbs and massage my badge. That actually sounds like it would feel good. So you don't tear. It's amazing.

So the first one I tore, and they had to give me an episiotomy. What does that mean? They cut. They snip it. God damn. This is a brave mother. fucker. Yeah. So the baby comes out, like more naturally. But the other two, they just massaged it and the recovery was so much better. I can't even tell you. So I would make that a part of my birth plan.

Like I do not want an episiotomy. Massage that thing. So when you, when you say birth plan, did you have like a list of things you wanted to do? No, I didn't even know I could do that. Now I would do that. Would you get a doula? Oh, I don't know. Actually, yeah. I think I would. If I could do it all over again, I think I would have a doula. Because Bronson was kind of, it freaked him out. I mean, are you freaked out by this stuff, this medical stuff? I'm not freaked out by it. I don't know if I want to be like looking and trying to figure out everything down there,

but I'm not freaked out. I mean, listen, I don't know how helpful I'm going to be, right? I don't want him up my butthole. I didn't want him anywhere near that. I didn't watch. Well, I was just back behind her for the first one. And I actually kind of regret it. You do?

Yeah. Like you wanted to be on the other side? Yeah. Really? the baby comes out, it's so, it's unbelievable. I'm going to say this, you're so artistic and creative. And Michael's not a different situation. Michael's a little like more like his brain, I feel like you're...

Let's see what you have to say here. Less creative, more logical thinking. Like, you're artistic. Like, I can see why you'd want to maybe see the baby come out. Yeah. But I was scared for the first one. I didn't see Zuri come out because I was like, oh shit, blood. Uh, nah.

Oh, it's just horrible looking. Like, this is, our friend described it as hamburger meat. That is what you look like down there. Like, straight up ground raw hamburger meat. So I didn't see that. Like, they'll offer you a mirror. Like, you can watch yourself pushing. And I was like, no.

If I thought that if I saw myself pushing, I would be scared. Like, I would be scared of what I was doing to my body. I did not want the mirror. I just wanted to go through feeling. Oh, gosh. You like a labia hamburger? No. Just like regular hamburgers.

I mean, I'm very, very scared of vaginal birth. I'm not going to lie. It's the best. People will try to scare you about it. But it's my favorite day of the entire pregnancy. Like, I live for the labor and delivery day. It is the best day ever, ever of your whole life. Why?

Because you get to be done. You're done being pregnant. And at the end of it, you get this nice little, it's like a treat. It's a reward. You get to see the baby. Like, you're going to be, I'm sure you're so anxious now. You just want to know what this kid is like. You imagine it for so many months and by the end you are so done being pregnant that you

finally get this little reward. You like get a look at it and feel it and touch it and it becomes so real that it's all worth it. Okay, let me ask you this for the first one. Is she more like you or more like Brano or is it a perfect medley? This is something that I talk about all the time. I see it because it bothers me and other parents. When they try to, it's like a little ego trip. They want to take that kid and claim what they like about it as them and then distance.

Like if they're like, oh, that kid's so you. We're already doing that shit. Oh, so the best thing you could ever do is just let the kid be their own little self. What's really good advice? No, it's so, it's true too, because I see those little kids with the parents that are like a little mini-meas and they're weird kids. They don't know who they are. And we really, that's our thing. We really, really kind of pride ourselves on giving our kids freedom.

to be who they are and we kind of step in when it comes to like safety, health, and overall wellness. Like we give them a lot of freedom to kind of cultivate who they are as little people. We think that that's important because they're like plants. It's like if a little kid is a plant, you need to feed it, you need to water it, you need to expose it to light. And then you have to give it room to grow. Like I hate these parents, I don't hate the parents, but I sense these little kids with parents that are just like helicopters on them all the time. They don't have the freedom to expand and to grow into who they're meant to be. And it's kind of unfortunate because I think that those kids are the ones that grow up and they're the ones that kind of go buck wild because

they never had the freedom to kind of try things out or make mistakes as kids. And we really, I think childhood for us, we want our kids to be like, it's a test drive into like adulthood. You guys do a good job too of allowing them to be really independent, at least this is how it seems, allowing them to be really independent, but they also still seem to want to hang out. with you, which is interesting. Yeah. We don't do anything for them that they can do for themselves. This is a refreshing conversation.

There's a lot of whack jobs out there. Michael's so happy about this conversation. There's a lot of wacky parents out there that are saying a little weird shit to me all the time now. And I'm like, oh, no. Come on, you know. We live by like the less is more motto. But I agree with that. I mean, people have to be individuals and you have to give people the room to become an individual.

It's weird. The helicopter thing's weird. It's unhealthy for the parents, too. It would be unhealthy for him and I to live like that with our kids. I just don't think, yeah. And then the kids that are afraid to make mistakes. Like, we have, our kids have a bunch of friends over. We like to have our kids have their friends over at our house because we get a peek inside

of that kind of, that side of them. But a lot of kids are like, whoa, like, you can like go outside when you want or you can do this when you want. And we give our kids freedom just to be themselves until they screw up. Like, it's that saying, we give them enough rope to hang themselves. Like, we give them freedom until. they... Until they fuck up.

So until Ozzy's on the freeway, like it's chill. Uh-huh, exactly. I feel like I want kids that are on the freeway. Because it shows that they have a big personality and they're not boring. Yeah. Give me anything but boring. Oh, that you won't not be bored. Yeah.

I promise. So when you get the baby and you're home, how gnarly is it? The first little bit is bliss because they sleep all the time. And you're tired because a lot of the time you labor through the night. People don't talk about this. But like, for whatever reason, people always go and to labor during the night. So it's like you get the baby and right off the bat, you're sleep deprived because you've labored all night long. So you're definitely tired, but you're also so, just, you're in so

much love and bliss and the baby just lays on you and it's kind of amazing. Then it gets gnarly. Because people stop bringing you dinner. The newness wears off and then the baby sleeps less. And I always tell people like, people have got it all wrong. They kind of support the mom right when the baby is born. But the mom does not need support. Then the mom needs support. Like, month three. This is what I tell people about death too. When someone says, what's your advice on someone losing someone really close to them? I say people all rush to support someone when someone dies. I like to check in on people eight months later, two years later, five years later, and just say, hey, how you doing? Because that's when you're in the thick of it.

So that's interesting. So it's the same with new moms. Yep. And when you're a new mom, you do not want people, your instincts take over. And it's like, you're an animal. You do not want people in their germs. No, you want to be so alone. It is the weirdest time because you really crave isolation in a unique way. You want to be alone with your baby. So Michael's

going to crave more isolation than he already wants. Yeah. I mean, I'm a little bit worried because I already isolate myself and hide out. Michael's like Rip Van Winkle. And now I'm going to have a, like I have an 18 year excuse now. Oh, it's the best excuse ever. It's the best. I mean, I would use that as an excuse. I'm not

going to lie. I'm going to be using it a lot. I'm booked for 18 years. It'll be a reality. You just really don't want people around your brand new baby. Okay. So is the lack of sleep what's hard, though? I was telling Brownson this the other day. The hardest part of pregnancy is postpartum.

It has nothing to do with the being pregnant. It's the after pregnancy. Because your hormones shift so heavily, so crazy fast. And then you tack on the sleeplessness, the new baby, figuring all of it out, it's a lot to handle. they have a book called the fourth trimester, and I suggest that book because it's really, people are like, oh, your pregnancy's over. Like, you're done.

And for me, that's when all the shit really kicks in. My body is different. I mean, your body is just gnarly anyways. Like, visually, you still look pregnant. And even though, even by the third time I had a baby and I knew what to expect, every single time I'm like a little bit worried. Like, oh, it's not going to go back. Like, my body is a waterbed.

it's scary. But it went back. Your body looks amazing. Yeah, it takes like six months. Six to nine months for me every single time. I have to be patient. But those first few months are weird. Do you want to like fucking buck after like during those six months?

No. God damn. Fucking buck. Whoa. Are you just giving a lot of blow jobs or are you just being like go, you got to go figure out your hand? I don't even think about it. That is the last thing I even think about. So you've had a 18 months.

Drys bones. Oh my gosh. No, I seriously. Like my friend just barely had a baby, and they say it seven weeks, you can, or six weeks, you can try to have sex again. And so she was at that mark. And I was like, so what are you guys doing? She's like, oh, no, no.

The doctor said it was seven weeks. She's like, I'm giving myself 14. Like, I can't even think about it. What about like a BJ? A quick BJ. Thank God I'm married. You're just not going to want you. Like, you're so kind.

Like, this is where your mind is already at. I don't mean to brag, but one of my skills is BJs. You do it. You go at it. She's pretty good. That's so nice. Taylor, don't get a heart on back there. I love BJs.

Thank you for your profound. This might work out great for you, Michael. It's sounding up in your favor. I'll ask her Bronson a question. So, like, during the time she's giving birth in the hospital, do you just have massive adrenaline? Are you tired at all? You're just like on edge?

From the man's perspective. Or you're just kind of like wandering around the hospital? Kind of both. Kind of tripping out. But... Like, do you want to sleep? Or you just kind of on the... Yeah, I'll take a little nap.

And I'll be pissed. I get pissed every time. I don't know if I'll be able to take it. I think I'll be on edge. A little, maybe you could beat off. I'm not going to be beating off during while you're giving birth. That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. Hey,

hey, dad, what were you doing when I was born? I'm in the corner. Well, your dad was drinking across the street. Yeah, my mom sent him away. Really? Isn't there a thing where you have orgasm while you birth? People say that. I don't see how that's humanly possible.

Did you watch like porn of people giving birth and that's where you got that fact from or what? I'm Googling it right now. I'm sure you are. You're going to get trouble to me. This guy sits right near HR. Oh, God. I put it right near HR. So when does it start to get easier in the fourth trimester?

Like what month? By the six month when your body starts to come back? I feel like I can be who I am at year two. I'm not going to lie. She's going to, she's spitting out her drink right now. Hold on. I'm not kidding, Lauren. I wish someone said this to me.

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Wait, so you're telling me that I can't have wine. I can't have sushi. I have to gain weight when I'm pregnant. Okay, okay, while you're pregnant, yes. And then I have to take my brand new fake tits. Very loud, learn. No, Michael, this is serious. I didn't know this.

I have to take my brand new fake tits. Ruin them. Ruin them. They're going to be ruined. They're going to be ruined. Yeah. Are they really? Oh, 100.

I'll show you my. I just got them done. They're going to be so ruined. My nipples are so little. I know. They're going to be stretched. Like, they will look so. I'm going to really show you my boobs just so you can get a good.

You better like enjoy these while they last. I don't even know what to do with those right now. Are they huge? Do they right now? Watermelons. Wait, so, okay, I have like 100 questions. For breastfeeding, you think it's 100% going to ruin my boobs? 100%.

And would you 100% say you should breastmen? Oh, I did every single time. So if you're giving advice to your sister, you say breastfeed. Oh, it's easier. For me, it was so much easier. I can't even tell you because it's a built-in bottle. Like the moms that have to get up and make a bottle in the night, that is you standing up, going to the kitchen, warming, like you're so awake.

When you're breastfeeding, you have a little bassinet right by your bed. You just pull the baby up, breastfeed, put them right back down, go right to sleep. Like, why can't you make Michael? Johnson never got up in the night one time. But it is because I like me breastfed. I really, he never had to feed the baby in the night. Well, I just don't wake up. He would, this is true.

He would, this is true. He never woke up, not one time ever. How long did you breastfeed the first one? I breastfed each of them two years, two full years. And it's because they were addicted to the boob. They were straight up addicted. So you're saying that you don't feel normal for two years. I didn't feel like myself.

If a fly lands on cotton in our bedroom when I'm sleeping, I'm up wide awake. You are going to be awake, but. I can't. If she moves an inch, because one time she passed out and she was in the bathroom, it was scary. I have like post-traumatic stress on this. And it just sounded like someone dropping a bowling ball. And it was like hitting her head. And I swear to God,

no, anytime she gets up and goes in the middle, like I think she's going to crash again, and so I can't sleep. So I'm fucked. You will be, maybe you'll be a bottle in the night girl, then get lucky. Because if he's up, you might as well make a bottle. But if you, okay, let me ask you this. If the bottle was nice and prepared next to you and you could just grab the bottle,

would you want that over breastfeeding or would you still go for breastfeeding. My kids never took a bottle. That was the problem. I tried. I would try to leave them with a babysitter and they would take a bottle and they wouldn't do it. Slave to the nip. Slave to the nip. I was their binky. I was their human binky. Like my kids were two years old. I'd be in the grocery store and they'd be like boo-boo, mama, please. Like opening my shirt. That's just like me right now. Yeah, Taylor's not judging. He breastfed until he was 11. Oh, God. Taylor. I think he still does. I'm throwing shit over here. Yes. What's that guy's name, Robin? Robin. Robin.

The grossest part of the whole series. Robin O'Connor? So gross. Mother throw him down the parlor. Super creepy. Okay, so after two years, you finally start to feel normal. And then you get pregnant again. Oh, my God.

Is this a sick joke? No, it was really my life for the last decade. So I'm coming out of it. My youngest is four. He just turned five. And I feel like I'm like, oh my gosh, I am who I am. That's not to scare you. It's just to be.

straight up 100% real. Like the hormones, the babies, it's so gnarly that you just kind of lose a little bit of who you are. You're thrown yourself into service. It's not like, I don't know who I am and I'm unhappy with my life. Like, you're just so busy as a caregiver that it doesn't really matter. Like, you don't care about the things you used to care about. You did manage to post on social media, though, when you were, like, I feel like I remember

you posting on social media. Like, you post it. You have your blog and everything. Oh, I kept up with everything. And then I got to a point where I was like, eh, fuck it. Yeah, you've got, I feel like the last year. You've, no, you just took a break, I feel like.

Well, my kids are getting older and they want social media. And I'm like, oh, no, you're not going to have social media. And then I feel like a hypocrite being on social media. So I thought the best thing to do would just to live a life without it and see what it's really like. Is it really doable? I honestly didn't believe it was possible to live a healthy social life without social media. Because it's how I talk to all of my friends.

It's how I know what's going on in the world. It's just how we live our life. all of our businesses are on social media. So I was like, I'm just going to give it a year. I wouldn't have as much to do with it if it wasn't part of our business. Hold on. So did you just have this epiphany one day? Totally.

It was a slow role. I was like, why am I on Instagram? I'm just like scrolling. Like, I have nothing to do. And I'm really a big believer. Like, if you have something to share, use it to share. Like, use it to be of service to someone, something, be an inspiration. Or if you have a craft, share your craft.

But I wasn't doing any of that. wasn't blogging. I wasn't posting anything cool. Like, I just was consuming, like such a consumer. And I was like, oh, let's just give it up. Okay, but can you guys do a podcast? I spend way too much time on those meme accounts. I think Wes needs to start a podcast. No, I would be all about podcasts because I just hate photos.

Seriously. We can talk about it whenever you want. Easy. Let's do it. I'll send you all the equipment. Your podcast. You know what? You don't even have to leave your house.

I'll send it to you. You can do it in your bedroom. I'm to the point where I'm free. So this is what I want to talk about. So when you have a baby, think of it like a season. It's winter. Two years. Two years and nine months?

It's a two year long. It's a season, but it ends. It ends, especially with your first one, because you're so in it, you don't know what to expect. And every single month, something new changes. Like, they keep you on your toes. Babies just keep you on your toes. Because the minute you find a routine that works, then they grow and they change and they morph. And you're like, what the fuck our routine?

Now they don't nap at 2 o'clock anymore. Like you're always pivoting. Constantly pivoting. What's the best age, you guys, right now? Oh, 2. Two. Two is the funnest. They are little, they're crazy, but it is hilarious. They're drunken little sailors.

Everything is a comedy. Everything is hilarious. Okay. Why does everyone say terrible twos? Because people are weird. And I think that it's people that they can't stand to not be in control. So you just got to let it go. Let the little kid be a crazy-ass two-year-old.

It's a part of being two. Like, stop trying to mold them into not a two-year-old while they're two. Two-year-olds are nuts. What am I going to do about my OCD of having a lot? shoe covers and couch covers. Oh, I don't know. It's really bad. You really need, like, a kid room where you just don't care about it.

We don't have that. You need help, learn. We're now just buying furniture that we've wanted. I mean, I'm like... We've been married 12 years, you guys. All I do is design spaces and, like, that's all I live for. And it's now just happening. And our home is IKEA shit.

Like, the shittiest of shit because kids ruin it. They just fucking destroy it. And even cars, like, I'm driving a minivan. I love the minivan. But you know what? It's perfect because I don't give a shit. I like that you drive a minivan. I think that's hot.

I bet every mom creams her pants when you drive up for school. You guys, Bronson is, wait, can we talk about how Bronson is the hottest, cutest dad ever? Talk about it. Because he really is. If you guys don't go, if you need a visual for them, go look at their Instagram. It's at Brano, right? Yep.

And at Wesley. Yes. But it's an underscore, right? At the end. At the end. There's certain men that come in the studio and even I sweat because I, I, I, I, I bless him. Okay.

So talk about what a cute dad he is. You guys, I have to just, he is the best dad ever. So on Valentine's Day every single year. He goes to the kids' school. And this is without not me prompting. Like, this is from his own self. He gets the kids a rose. He has them deliver it to their classroom, writes them a card, takes them out on dates.

Like, he is dating them and showing them how a person should do them. He is setting the bar high. And he never did that shit for me. But I don't even care because it is so sweet that he does it for the girls that I'm like, you have a pass. Like, he is, you're a really good girl dad. That is so cute. You pick up the girls and take them on dates.

Yeah. Yeah. I also think, like, will open up the door for them. Oh, hell yeah. Doing that to the mother, too. Here's my manipulation. Yes. Doing that to the mother and being, like, really polite and kind to the mother is, like, a really good example.

100%. Yes. You know what's crazy is kids, they just watch everything. Like, you think you're being sneaky and they hear it all. They know it all. The other thing we do, which I think is a little bit taboo, people are always like, what are they? We tell our kids everything. Like we are completely 100% honest with them about every single subject.

Santa Claus? Yes. So like if they are, so our rule of thumb is, is if they ask us about anything, we tell them the truth. Okay. So we let them kind of be the guide, but like sex. Oh, they've known about it since they were like. I like that. Yeah.

That's how my parents were really. I was raised Mormon and like you don't have sex until you're married. And then even then it's like it's taboo. Yeah. It's weird. It's really weird. You want to do it more when it's so like a no-no, you know? You're more curious about it when you know nothing about it.

It's like the kids that's not allowed to have sweets and they go to the friends house about suites and they just raid the whole cover. Yes. We cover it all. Like we talk to our kids about manipulations, threats, dating, narcissists, everything. We go so deep on every single topic because even if they're not understanding it now, it's like we're planting little seeds that will grow for when they're ready to get it. Because I think that where we really failed as kids was in our relationships,

like boyfriends and girlfriends, we wasted so much time with weird-ass people. Drugs, doing drugs early on, like we were so stupid. It's amazing that nothing truly horrible happened. And I think that we try to go extra in depth with our kids on those subjects, just because we know the pitfalls. Here's my thing. I think, I don't think anybody in the world in any community should have the audacity to judge other parents. Like there's, I care so little, honestly.

Like, I could not care about anything less about the way that I'm going to parent this kid. Birds, people chirp, and, like, I mean, I could, the opinions of other people about how I'm going to parent matter so little to me. I could not, I don't know how to express how little it means to me. No, that's amazing. But so when I, like, I think that parents need to parent the way they want to parent, and you should reserve your judgments for your own household, right? Amen. I do have to tell both of you something.

Out of all the parents I've ever met in my entire life, I hope I'm like you guys. Thank you. I think that you guys have done it the way. I look up to them as parents. No, it's just the way you guys are doing it is like definitely. You guys put your blinders on. You do what works for you.

You don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Well, here's the thing. Like you're not going to shelter human beings from the world. At some point people become, they have to go out in the world on their own. And it's not 18 or 21. It happens a lot sooner. Yeah.

I mean, I remember being a kid. I was running around doing shit when I was 12, 13 that parents would never dream their kids were doing. But I was equipped with some tools because my parents would tell me like, hey, this is what this looks like. This is what drugs look like. This is what alcohol looks like. This is what girls like this, what sex is. And so when I found myself in those situations at a young age, I'm like, oh, I've been talked to about this before I understand what they were talking about. People that think they're going to shelter their kids from the world, they're delusional.

I'm not judging them for doing that. I just, it's just a fact. Like, you cannot protect a kid from the world around them. Like, it's going to come at some point. And it's probably going to come at them a lot sooner than you think. Totally. We read this article. It was a Japanese guy.

His daughter was going to be legal to drink. And he took her out on a date. And it was like the day before her birthday when she had all of her, she was going to go out to a bar for the first time with all her friends. Yeah. And he took her to all these bars and paid for all of her drinks and just watched how she acted. And had fun. They had fun.

They had so much fun. And then the night as it went on and the drinks got, it was about eight drinks, I don't know what the number was. But he was like, okay, when you're eight drinks, like, that's when you go crazy. So don't, like, that's your limit. So she woke up the next morning. She was all hung over. Breakfast was made. And her dad wrote a little letter that was like, hey, last night was so fun.

When you reach this amount, that's when you don't know what's going on. So that's your limit. And I love, like, that's how I wanted. biopsy of every single drink. Two drinks. It was really fun. Three drinks. Even fun. Four drinks. It was a little bit sketchy. You were getting a little messy. Five drinks, you were talking to strangers, having your arms around strangers. So he gave her like a loving, handwritten note because he cares about her safety. And it wasn't, there was no judgment, no anything. It was like he has her best interest. And I think that that's kind of the way that we,

we want to do, we want to be like that for our kids. You know what? That is the cutest story I've ever heard. I know. That reminds me of my dad. Really? That's how my dad is. He's so non-judgmental and it just like leads with love. And I feel like it's really worked for me. What happens is like when I, that story reminds you like, and again, like not passing judgment,

but if you think the other way, if a kid's scared to communicate with their parent about what's actually going on, then they're going to hide things and bad things can happen. When I was a kid and listen, I did things way too early. It was just like just a bad kid or just however I was. But I remember my parents would always say, listen, if you ever get in a situation

where you're drunk or you're out of control, like you always can call us and you'll never get in trouble for calling us. Right? And so, like, I remember being a little kid, like probably like 14 years old and getting completely obliterated, which I shouldn't have been doing. But to the point I was like, okay, I'm out of control. And the person I called was my dad. They came pick me up.

I was hung over for literally four days. Worse as, like, I punished. Like, I didn't need to be punished. I punished myself. The hair was so bad. But I remember in picking me up and they never gave me shit about it. But guess what? It stopped me from doing that again.

I was like, okay, I'm not going to drink like that again. I'm not going to get out of control. I have a safe space. Then they take the other side of that, kids that are scared. And it goes the other way. There's a story in San Diego where these kids recently, was this in San Diego, Lauren? They were drinking and driving, shouldn't be doing. And they were getting pulled over by the cops.

So they started, they all jumped out of the car and started running and hopping over freeway bridges. And as they hopped over the second one, they didn't realize it was a bridge. Oh, no. So I think like a few of them broke their legs. I think two of them died. It's a really sad story. But again, it's like kids that are scared to call their parents. They were so scared to be in trouble.

They didn't want to get in trouble, and then something like that happens was a tragedy. And so, wow. What is it like adding a second kid? So one, threw me for a loop because it's the biggest life adjustment you will ever face in your life. Nothing tops your first kid. Two is like the best ever. They have a buddy. You know what you're doing.

That anxious feeling that I told you about, for me at least, was so much less. You're driving home from the hospital just speeding. I don't give a fuck. I know what it's like to be a mom. I kind of had some confidence going in the second round. I was like, two is fun. There's two parents, two kids. Nothing's ripping.

Nothing ripped at that time. Three, it's like, okay, can you like throw two balls to yourself? You can kind of like juggle two balls. I can't juggle three, but I had a third kid. And it was like someone threw a freaking fly ball in my face and I just had to figure it out. He seems like a spitfire too. He's like in the best way. Like he seems like he has lots of personality.

I knew when he came out, I legit had a, had a, feeling like a voice came to me and it was like this one, he's born wild. Just keep him alive. Like, just keep him alive. That was my job. Just keep him alive. He's wild. But just lovely at the same time. So two is easy. Two is wonderful. Three's a lot. Three's a lot. And four's a no. I think I'm done. You're kind of like on like edge though. You say I think. Well, because Brownson's been talking about a vasectomy and that feels really final and really scary. Yeah, it's scary. That is so scary. Heard those things hurt. Because like I want another. their baby too, but then I don't. We don't want to go through.

It's starting over. But I miss them so much. I miss little babies right now. The thing about I think. Like two year olds. Babies are fine. They're just on the nipple all day. But once they get to like one and a half two, oh, you're going to love it, Michael.

It's like your little buddy. Because they're with the moms, you know, and they're just first here. Dad's really step into their dad role at like that one, one year old mark. Like they get it kind of shine. Michael's excited. I'm excited. Do you love being a dad? It's the best.

Maybe Taylor should be a dad. Maybe Taylor is a dad. Yeah. Maybe he is. I've had some baby scares. No, you haven't. Have you really? I cannot confirm nor deny.

Most of the women will deny. Most. No, but I think the thing that makes us good parents or any parent a good parent is just liking yourself as a parent. Like not, this is when I feel like I'm tripping over myself is when I feel like I need be in a mother role because then I'm playing a part. But when I feel like I'm just being myself with a kid, I'm like in my flow. Like I think kids want that too. They just want you to be your best self. Like nothing like motherhood is a call to become your most true, happy, authentic self.

That's what it did for me. You make me, you made me all over in this interview, scared, excited, anxious. Because it's all, that's all it is. It's all the feelings, all at once, all the time. Okay, but I have another question that doesn't, it has to do with kids, but not really. I feel like I'm not going to be a mom that's like, how do I say this nicely? In the mom group. I'm not. Okay. At all.

So, like, how do you navigate that? Like, if you don't, like, you know, I have a girlfriend and she's amazing and she's the best mom, but like she's not a room mom. Like, she's not. I'm not a room mom. Doing mommy and me classes and all that. And I really relate to that. So how does that work with the other mothers? I don't even think of.

about it. You just don't give it energy. I don't even ever think about it. That's kind of how I feel like I'm not, I'm going to not give it energy, but it would seem like, do your kids want you to like engage with the other mothers and the other kids? No, they've never said anything. Anything like that. Perfect. Let's hope I have one like you. But then I am a psycho when it comes to like our home time. Like we're doing the dishes and I am singing and dancing and it's like I'm a freak of nature and they get that side of me. So I think I'm so with them when we're home that they don't expect. me to be involved in any of their other stuff. They just know. And what's the differences of personalities if you were just to describe each of them in one sentence? It has a room mom. Oh, gosh. What do you do? He's going to be the room dad.

He will totally be the room dad. A room mom's like the person that like plans the parties and like, like, oh yeah, you got no chance of doing that. I know you. Oh, yeah. They're going to email you though, Michael and ask you to sign up. Oh, yeah. They go hard.

Yeah, they do go hard. Oh, they go hard. The pressure is real. Like they sign, like clipboards, emails. I don't know what that. Is there like, is there like, is there like, a room mom nanny. Can you delegate it to a task, grab it?

Yes. Someone would do it. Taylor, have Taylor show it. I think Taylor would scare the kid. They wouldn't let them in. Okay, so give us like a one sentence description of each kid. Zuri is too smart and wise for her age and sassy. Age?

She's 11. Okay. But she is like so beautiful and so talented. This girl, she sings like, I don't know, like Eretha Franklin. in like this little tiny 11-year-old body. We don't know where they're going to start coming around pretty soon. They're coming. It's happening already.

But she has no idea she's pretty, which is weird. No idea. She's like the coolest little. That's the best, though. Yeah, we don't give it life. Yeah, we don't give it life. We know she's pretty. We just don't even tell her.

Yeah. That's actually really smart. Yeah. That's how you guys are, though, I feel like. You guys are like you're so attractive and so beautiful, but you don't give that life. That's what makes you even more attractive. Yeah, we don't like the looks thing. Like, I don't want to put any of their value or worth into how they look.

There's nothing worse than a girl that knows she's beautiful, to be honest. Yeah, I agree. It becomes such a world of just disaster. Yep. Are you going through something right now? No, I'm just saying in general. He's a little hard. All can agree the best girls growing up were the ones that were absolutely beautiful.

They knew it, but they never acted like they did, or they just didn't know it. Are you talking about me? We grew up together. You're fucking right. You knew it. You walked around like his daughter. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know if you were like. Taylor and I know, Taylor and I've known Lord of Church,

She was the girl that fucking knew it. Let's not act like you were running around me and like, oh, I never know if I'm going to blossom. Fucking asshole. Okay, I did hear her sing on Instagram. Insane. She has a really good voice. No, like really good.

It's weird. We don't know what to do with it. We're just going to let her lead the way. We're not going to, she could, I could be like that weird stage mob right now and she'd be on like America's Got Talent. But I'm just not getting involved. Yeah. If it happens, it happens.

Yeah. I think that's smart. We'll let her lead. Remy is, we call her D.W. For delightfully weird. Weirdest, most beautiful little funny thing I've ever. She's an alien. Like me and her, I'll walk into the kitchen and she'll just be like, she is so weird, but hilarious.

And then she's so service-oriented. She, like, wants to give us foot massages and writes us little notes on her bed all the time. She's the sweetest. She is the sweetest little girl. If you cross her, she is. Oh, so scary. Holy shit. She is scary.

Middle. Yeah. Middle Child syndrome is a real thing. It's real. And she's like super sexual. Yeah. And she's seven. She like understands sexuality.

And it is little boys. Little boys in her class. So I just got a video from someone that they're two little kids in her class. They're in their friend's backyard. And their mom hears them talking about Remy. She starts like taking a video. And they're like, dude, you kissed her on the shoulder. And she told her.

you hated her, but like, you got a chance. Try again tomorrow. Oh, God. And they're like giving each other, they're being each other's wingmen. And they like love Remy and Remy is giving them zero attention. Like she's playing so hard to get and we couldn't be happier. Yeah. But it is weird. It's like she knows, oh, she already knows how to play into that world. And then Ozzy, how do we even describe Ozzy? Oh, Ozzy is like the sweetest little boy. I mean, his name's Ozzy, which is a trip because you would think he's just crazy and like metal. metal, but he's like kind and obedient and thoughtful and he loves me every single morning. He's like, Mom, I love you so much.

Let's snuggle. Like, he just wants to snuggle. Love me. He calls me pretty. Oh, I love him. He's the baby and he's always going to be a mama's boy. Yeah, he is a mama's boy and I couldn't be happier about it. But the kids, I don't know.

It's the coolest thing we've ever done and I'll never get over it. I'll never want it to stop. I'm going to be that 100 year old lady that like wants my kids over all the time. It's just. Yeah, but listen, you're going to be 100. and your kid's going to be 80. I know. I know.

Your kid's going to be 81 if you make it to 100. That's so great. That's pretty wild. I know. We're for sure going to be great, great grandparents. Like, for sure. For sure. Yeah, we will.

That's kind of cool that you guys, like, check the box at 19. They're saying by, like, 2075. I may have this stat wrong, but they say by 2075 human life expectancy is going to stretch another 14 or 16 years. Oh, my gosh. If we get there, like, you know, I think what is it, around like 70 something now? If so, if you. We'll be like, 140.

Yeah. And though, you know, I'm waiting for technology. I'm waiting for this thing to come along, these nanobots that can go into your bloodstream and clean your blood and reverse the aging process and you can live to 200. Oh my gosh. My buddy was just telling me this. Yeah. The place we went, we went to this place Next Health. And they have that. Have you heard about NAD therapy? Yeah, it's just starting to get like pretty good. But there's a really cool book. People want to check out. It's called Sapiens and they talk about this technology that's coming. We're still ways off, but it could happen. It'll most likely for sure happen in our kids' lifetime. Or maybe in your case, your kid's kid's lifetime.

Yes. But, yeah. Crazy. Well, how long can I do mushrooms? Because I'm like, when I give birth, let's go to the desert. Whenever you feel ready. Whenever you want. I just went to this wedding and lost my mind on mushrooms.

Lauren wasn't there. Chocolate mushrooms? Yeah. He doesn't like those as much, do you? No, he's about them. Well, they're good at a wedding. I didn't want to be too. Right.

I mean, a wedding would not be my place of choice. The chocolate mushrooms. Yeah. For me. Okay. I don't remember the last time I ate just regular, like the mushroom. It's been like in chocolate. Does it taste bad?

The chocolate mushroom? No, it's the best chocolate I ever eat. It's dark chocolate with like sea salt. You can't even tell there's mushrooms in them. But for you, while you're breastfeeding. So the reason that we're even involved in the mushrooms is it's like a natural antidepressant. You can micro dose. Okay.

So you can do it while you. breastfeed? It's totally natural. It's completely up to you, like the person. It's like a natural antidepressant. And that's when I really, really, really struggle is like the first six months. And I don't, people can take antidepressants or anti-anxiety things. I never did because there's this natural alternative that totally works. Like you don't feel high or like you're like hallucinating. It's just microdosing. You thought the pregnancy police were coming in for non-pasteurized vegetables? Oh, God. The pregnancy police need to get busy. I know. I mean, you know. The ones that really don't know, they just, they're uneducated on the whole process.

They think it's something that it's not. I find most people chirping in are typically uneducated. They don't have any, they're, they're thinking the worst. Or they're the ones that are reading the parenting books. Are you guys reading parenting books? Oh, let them read the book. No, no, I haven't read any parenting books besides I'm reading, bringing up Bibet, which is like so basic bitch, but it's just about basically drinking wine and

let it all go. Why you drink wine? I actually have two books, the only two books. The only two books I'd ever recommend, ever. The fourth trimester. That one. And then, have you ever heard of Dr. Sheffali? No.

It's the conscious parent. Oh, Carly. And the conscious family. Carly, who, like, you guys, I feel like I've introduced you before, the Pregor's pantry. Oh, yes. Gave me that book. Okay.

It's the only one I'd even recommend. Okay. Like, that one is dope. And then the other ones that, like, made me feel good as a mom was freaking Tony Robbins Awaken the Giant Within. My favorite book. And, like, the four-hour work week. Those were the best parenting books.

I started kind of raising the family. I was like running a business. Then I kind of felt like, oh, this is working. Smart. I really, I switched it. I switched it up and that I felt kind of good as well. Okay, I have the conscious parent. I'm going to get the fourth trimester.

And what was the first when you said? I have pregnancy brain. The conscious parent and the conscious family. There's two books, yeah. Okay. We have that one. So we'll have to read that. He started what to expect when you're expecting, but we haven't.

I mean, I'm sure the books are good, but you just learned. You just do you. Like, you got to just do it. It's like business. Like, people can tell you, oh, when this happens in business, you need to react this way. But like, until you're really in it is when you learn. And you guys know what's best for your business. Just like you will know what's best for your baby.

No other do is going to come in here and fix your business problems. Just like no book is going to come in and fix your parenting. Just got to do it through your heart. All right. I look at the world and I go, okay, has this been done before? Has it been done effectively? Okay. Tony Perkins from heavy.

Wait. Does me right? They can't. Listen, again, people are going to give me shit for this. But it's like, you know, I'm very excited. We're pregnant. But listen, it's happened before. People have done this for a long time.

People are thinking you're not going to be able to run your business, that you're going to be some weirdo, that your whole life is going to turn upside down, right? Well, we'll see. We'll have to. People have been thinking shit about me for a long time. Listen, I swear to you, it will do nothing to you but make you super efficient. I'm already more, I feel more motivated and focused right now. Yep.

Because you don't have time. No, and also. because like before I'm like, ah, if this works out or doesn't, like, if I get that done, it's like just for me and for my wife. I'm like, okay. But now I'm thinking, okay, like, what? You know what I'm saying? Now there's a, there's, it's more of a reason and purpose. There's a third party. And there's an entity that I want to protect and provide for. So I'm, it's different. I'm like, I've always kind of like, shoot from the hip kind of guy.

Like, if this works great, and if it doesn't, like, I'll figure something out. And now I'm like, okay, like, maybe I should put a little bit more thought into some of the things I'm doing and the way I'm doing. Okay, but we will be meeting you guys after I'm done, being pregnant. And is it the desert? Yeah, Nipton. I actually have some availability before she... No, you don't. No, you don't.

No, you don't. We can put her in a birthing tent, bring the doula, go real old school. Hopefully someone to massage my shrinkter. Wait, what is it again? I don't know what it's called. Is it called a perennium? No, it's a perennial, yeah. Oh, course, you know what it is.

Between the taint and the anus. Okay, Taylor, do you know that? It's the gooch. No, but the gooch is like the street name. Taylor, seven more words on this show and then you're off. Thank you for educating us, Taylor. Okay, I'll close it off with one quick phrase I was going to say earlier. I believe in the Santa Claus for way too fucking long.

Same. That's all. Really? I did too. I was like, I was like, oh, I know Santa's fake. Of course he was. I didn't pretend like, oh yeah, like I knew. You're talking about a guy that legitimately believes he saw a UFO in the middle of San Diego,

like while we were all kind of around. It never happened. He also slept on the street for his birthday because he could reach a little. He couldn't find a hotel? All right, Aaron, Robin. You're off the show now. No, Robin O'Connor. Where can everyone find you guys? I fucking love your blog.

Brano, you're so talented with everything you do. Pimp yourself out. Maybe you'll get back on social media. Are she glad you came on the show? So you were trying to get off the mic. I wasn't allowed to happen. Yeah, I just want to hang with you guys. Yeah.

You can find me at Brano, B-R-O-N-O. That's the only thing I use is the Instagram. Insta? Yeah. And then mine is Wesley, W-E-S-L-I-E-U-S-L-I-E-U-S-L-Score on Instagram. And I'm not that active, but I kind of have some stuff up my sleeve. Maybe I'll be more active. Okay, maybe a podcast because you were...

What would happen if I just sent you a bunch of equipment and was like, this is exactly how you run this equipment? I mean, I would do it. I'm all about talking. Just don't put a camera in front of my face. Listen, that's what I did. I mean, the kind of these cameras are in our face, but not really. You don't even for you know.

You need a podcast. She does. I would do a podcast. in a day. I know a place that can do podcasts for you. No, she doesn't want to go anywhere, Michael. She wants to do it with her kids. I think you're, you got a predancy brain right now.

I'll try it. Oh, oh. Trying to pamper yourself a lot. Thank you guys so much for coming on. Come back anytime you want. You're literally welcome to come back on anytime you want. I hope you're a recurring character like Taylor. Yeah, we love you guys.

Of course. We love you guys. And we're excited for you. I'm a little scared, but. All right, I hope everyone loved this episode as much as we loved recording it. They are such a badass couple. Anyways, if you love this episode, let us know your favorite part on my latest Instagram at The Skinny Confidential and someone will drop into your inbox and send you some cheeky stickers.

We pick a bunch of people each week and we love to know your feedback. Also, guys, make sure you've rated and reviewed the podcast on iTunes if it's brought you any kind of value. And with that, we'll see you next week. This episode was brought to you by Thrive Market. Thrive Market is your one-stop shop for high-end, high-quality, and highly discounted groceries, supplements, beauty products, household supplies. Thrive Market guarantees its customers 25 to 50% below retail on all items because it cuts out the middleman. Go to thrivemarket.com slash skinny for 25% off your first order and free shipping.

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