The Bossticks - How To Manifest Your Dream Life: Rewire Your Mind, Build Self-Worth, & Unlock Your Purpose Ft. Roxie Nafousi

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

#977: Join us as we sit down with Roxie Nafousi – world-renowned self-development coach, inspirational speaker, manifestation expert, and bestselling author of Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best ...Life. In this episode, Roxie opens up about her transformational journey with manifestation, the power of the mind, and how to strengthen self-worth while stepping into your true purpose. She shares her manifestation playbook, grounded in neuroscience, emphasizing clarity, belief, aligned action, persistence, gratitude, and how even envy can be used as a tool for growth, alongside her psychological framework for discovering your higher calling.   For Detailed Show Notes visit TheBossticks.com   To connect with Roxie Nafousi click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Head to our ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of the products mentioned in each episode.   To learn more about Roxie Nafousi, books, and upcoming events visit https://roxienafousi.com.   This episode is sponsored by PVOLVE Head to http://pvolve.com/skinny and use code SKINNY for 15% off sitewide, or on class packs at a Pvolve studio near you.   This episode is sponsored by Squarespace Check out https://www.squarespace.com/skinny to save 10% off your first purchase of a web or domain using code skinny.   This episode is sponsored by Ka'Chava Go to https://kachava.com and use code SKINNY for 15% off your first order.   This episode is sponsored by Caldera + Lab Go to http://calderalab.com/SKINNY and use code SKINNY for 20% off your first order.   This episode is sponsored by Truvia If you're looking for a better way to enjoy sweetness with zero calories per serving, you really need to try the new Truvia® Allulose Plus Stevia Sweetener & Monk Fruit Sweetener—available online and nationwide at Kroger, Target and your favorite local grocery retailer.   This episode is sponsored by Chilipad Visit http://www.sleep.me/skinny to get your Chilipad and save up to $255 off a new Chilipad2.0 with code skinny. This special offer is available for The Bossticks listeners — and only for a limited time!   This episode is sponsored by Pendulum Visit http://Pendulumlife.com and use code SKINNY for 20% off. Legal disclaimer: *Results based on pre clinical studies. Not intended for weight loss.   This episode is sponsored by TruFru Find it now in the freezer aisle of your grocery store! Produced by Dear Media

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:01 Welcome to the Bostics, starring Lauren Bostic and Michael Bostick. Together, they are the Bostics. So the way that I discovered your content was your book popped up on my 4U page. And it's manifest. I don't know if it was your first book. But I saw it and I thought, who is this creative to use this color? everyone was in their beige neutral everyone looks the same white sterile era you were in that era I did it for a bit and I'm not ever going back to that I'm over that it's not enough depth sorry a little bland for me a little bland it's a little a little
Starting point is 00:00:47 hospital I have to say I'm obsessed with the browns and the earthy toes yeah we got to bring it in yeah I'm so here for it yeah so I see this book and I'm like who is so creative in a world of beige to do orange. Thank you. And I clicked something and it landed on your page and I was like, I have to have this girl
Starting point is 00:01:04 on the show. And this was years ago. Yeah. I feel like it was two years ago. Yeah. And I messaged you and now here you are. Two years later.
Starting point is 00:01:11 I honestly can't believe it. I feel like I've been such a fan of both of you for so long. And when I first saw it, I think you posted about the book, you did a story or something or was in there and I was like, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:01:22 I was so excited. And I feel like this has been a long time coming. So thank you. We did. Thank you for making the trip all the way. No. Thank you so. much. All the way from London. Here in Austin. Okay, so let's get the lay of the land here with you.
Starting point is 00:01:35 Okay. Talk to us when you first had your first inkling of manifesting. Like, and maybe it was like when you were five. Go back way, way back. Okay. So my first sort of introduction to manifestation was back in May 2018. So I was 27, about to turn 28. So I was about to have my sat in return for anyone that's interested in psychology and astrology. And at this point in my life, I had been addicted to cocaine for a decade. So I had discovered drugs when I was 16, 17. And up until that point, I had been deeply, deeply unhappy. I had been suffering depression since I was a kid,
Starting point is 00:02:18 but I didn't know that I was suffering from depression. People weren't talking about mental health then. But looking back, that's definitely what it was. And I came from a very sort of emotionally unstable home. While we were privileged in many respects, you know, I went to a private school and I had a roof over my head and I had food on the table. But emotionally, it was just a very unsafe place. And on top of that, I was an Iraqi growing up in Oxford and Islamophobia was huge. You know, everybody thought that all Muslims were terrorists and I was really horrifically bullied.
Starting point is 00:02:56 And so I actually changed my name from Rowan to Roxy when I was 12 because I moved schools and I thought, well, you know what, if people think, if I introduce myself as Rowan, they know I'm different. So I'll just change my name. And I guess that's when I started to really reject myself. And then I discovered drugs. And once I discovered drugs, I got this false sense of confidence, right? You have a line of cocaine. Suddenly you feel good. What age was this?
Starting point is 00:03:24 So this was 16. I think I had my first line. 17, 18. By the time I'm 21, I'm in Narcotics Anonymous. So I knew I was sort of an addict very quickly, I would say. And I knew I had a problem at 21, but I didn't give up until I was 28. So for those years that you have a problem, you know you have a problem, but you're not able to get out of it. You're in this real shame cycle. You know, you tell yourself you're going to give up, you last a week. I think the longest I ever went in those 10 years was three weeks without drugs once, which felt like a huge achievement.
Starting point is 00:03:56 And in that time, I had also just like so many toxic relationships. I like so many guys treat me like shit. I had no career. I worked very briefly in the beginning when I was like 20 and then basically did nothing, just partied. And it was just a really sad and lonely existence, to be honest. And I had wanted to change my life. And I was like, I've got to get out this cycle.
Starting point is 00:04:20 So I decided to book a yoga teacher training course in Kosovoi in Thailand. And I thought, okay, if I go and I do 200 hours of yoga and meditating every day, I've got no access to any of my vices, this is going to be the thing that really changes my life. So I go and I'm like full of hope and I'm full of like real like excitement. I'm like, I'm going to change. And before I went, obviously I fucking like binged on everything possible because I thought this is my last drug spree. So I'm just going to. Yeah, I just just fucking go. So I get decided
Starting point is 00:04:53 I'm like deed It's just off It was very difficult anyway So I go and I'm ready And then I see them How do you get off the bender Once you're on it Like once you're going that hard?
Starting point is 00:05:04 Just like cold turkey Or do you just like taper off? No you're just kind of cold turkey You know And then it's There was this monk on the yoga teacher training course And he was training with us And one day he read my palm
Starting point is 00:05:17 And he was like There's a fork on your palm You're here to teach And I was like, oh my God. Like, you're a wise leader here to teach. And I was like, yeah, I'm here to teach yoga. So anyway, so I got back to England. And then that day, a friend of mine, she called me and she was like, babe, there's this art dinner tonight.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Do you want to come? And I was like, yeah, yeah, fab. So I go to this dinner. And no, she goes, I'm getting ready at my hotel room. Come meet me. So I was like, fine. So I go to the hotel room and she pulls out a bag of cocaine. And she's like, do you want a line?
Starting point is 00:05:47 And I was like, yeah, go on. And then I basically ended up on this 48. hour bender, went home with some guy, went to this after party with some other guys I didn't know. It was just a really, really horrible, horrible experience. And I woke up from that just so, so full of shame and above anything, like a real sense of hopelessness because I just thought, I am never, I'm never going to change. And so I called my friend and she said, she's really like spiritually inclined this friend. she's called Sophia. She was like, babe, don't worry about it. I just listened to this podcast
Starting point is 00:06:24 on manifesting. You should listen. And I was like, fuck it. I'll try anything. So I listened to this podcast and something just clicked. And what clicked was that manifesting was all about self-worth. And I had no self-worth. So I was like, oh, maybe I am keeping myself stuck where I am. And I think that in that moment, what happened was that I took responsibility for my happiness. And I think up until that point, honestly, I was just the victim. I was like the victim of my own life. And it took discovering manifestation for me to realize that the power was within me to make a change. And so after listening to this podcast, I went home and I sort of researching everything I could on manifestation.
Starting point is 00:07:07 And the first thing I wanted to manifest was love. And two weeks later on the 7th of June 2018, this guy named Wade, message me on a dating app. and a year to the day on the 7th of June 2019, our baby boy wolf was born. Wow. So you mentioned you felt unsafe when you were a child. What do you mean? I won't go too much into it, but my mom had very, very bad mental health. And my dad was on the spectrum, so he was completely void of emotion.
Starting point is 00:07:39 So it was just two very extreme extremes. How did they get together in the first place? It sounds like a weird match. It was an arranged marriage. They hated each other. Okay. So that also doesn't help. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:52 There was, it was, I never saw any love or romance. Yes. They were not a match. They were not a match. God bless them. They were together like 45 years. So they ended up, they did split. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:08:04 No, my dad passed a couple of years ago. No, it's fine. And, you know, it's sad because they just, they never really. Yeah. But you know what? Like, they say for them, felt they stayed together. And I'm sure they loved each other in their own ways. Absolutely. How did you build yourself worth after you realized that you didn't have any self-work?
Starting point is 00:08:22 It's a crazy concept to think about arranged marriage. Sorry to like go back to it. It's like, because I think like people don't realize in some cultures that still happens. That is a crazy concept. And people stick it out. It's like you don't have a choice. Yeah. But there's actually some interesting studies on it where actually like they look at the like happy marriage satisfaction between arranged marriages and not like normal normal, normal marriages. And actually what happens is in the graph, what you see often is that normal marriages start really high, that feeling of in love, and then it declines. And then arrange marriages often actually go up in satisfaction because there's this real like we've committed to this. So it's not something that I would do, but I can understand why cultures still do it.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Yeah, I mean, well, I believe part of the reason people are struggling so much right now and again, like what do I know? I've been in a relationship for a long time is I don't think we as species do so well with. endless options. I think like it's, the idea of optionality is greater than the actual practicality of it. 100%. You can't focus.
Starting point is 00:09:22 You can't take it. Like, and especially now is, and again, like not a relationship show, but I see so many people so quickly throw away relationships. When they get hard, which they all do.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Yes. Because they believe that there's endless options, that there's always somebody better coming. And so then I think you're like, like for Lauren and I, we know that we're committed and we, and we, and even if we get it.
Starting point is 00:09:44 into a screaming, yelling fight. Like, we know we're with each other and trying to work through it. But I think if you are constantly thinking you have options, I think you're able to kind of like discard much quicker. It's true. And I also think it's that a lot of people have this idea that if you meet someone, it should be easy, if it's the right person. And so when there is conflict or disagreement or it feels hard,
Starting point is 00:10:07 they think, oh, it's clearly not meant to be. This is clearly not my person. I'm going to go find someone easy. And that's just not true. It's actually, and I've been thinking about this a lot recently, and it's about finding someone that it's not going to be easy, but when it's not easy, you're willing to repair, to commit, to see it through, to be in the discomfort.
Starting point is 00:10:29 And I think that is something that is just not being done enough of now. So we can just arrange our kids' marriage and tell them, we'll boot them out of the family and disown them if they break up. My son's living with me for the rest of my life. I've already arranged the marriage to me. But I fully get jokes aside. I fully get, it's just interesting that you've had that experience. Again, I think a lot of people listening, just like that is so outside of the realm of this culture and what happens these days.
Starting point is 00:10:53 I also think there's like an epidemic going on where this is my, this is my Lauren theory, where men are getting over 40 and they're so stuck in their anal ways. This is specifically to men that I've seen. And they're so stuck in the way they like it, how they want it. where their towel goes on this counter and their salt and pepper here and whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, that anyone who comes in and penetrates them is almost an annoyance. And I think that the women, and I'm talking to both sexes when I say this, the women come in and they can feel that analness. And it's almost they feel unwelcome in their space.
Starting point is 00:11:33 That's what I see with dating. The men get a little anal around 40. It's just because we're of that age now so you see that. But no, I mean, I think the hardest thing about a relationship, in my opinion, is it's the first, a real relationship. It's the first time in your life where you can't just do what's right for you. And there's a lot of people talking about doing what's right. I get that. But to be honest, in a real relationship, there's compromise.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Absolutely. And I can't any longer leave the office. I wonder what I want to do today. Like, maybe I'll just take a trip. Like, I have to think about my wife and my children and my actions and how it affects them in every decision I make. And so does she, hopefully, right? And I think that's hard for a lot of people because you have to kind of, first, you have to stop being selfish in a way. And you have to have a thought process that considers people other than yourself constantly.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Absolutely. I want to go back to what you said about your self-worth. How did you rebuild your self-worth when you thought it was zero? Oh, look, it took time. It took years, I would say, but it started slow. So I had a really tough pregnancy because I had to give everything up very suddenly, obviously, all the drugs and the smoking and everything. So I turned to binge eating and say... So you were not sober when you got pregnant the first time?
Starting point is 00:12:51 You just had to go cold turkey. Yeah. I was trying to give up that summer because I'd fallen in love. And I was like, I'm trying to get better. But I was actually like secretly doing drugs on every day. And then about sort of six weeks in, I told him. And I was like, oh, I've actually like been high like this whole time. but I really like and I want to work through it.
Starting point is 00:13:08 So I was like trying to give out, but I hadn't completely. So I had to give everything up suddenly. And so actually I kind of hit my, well, I would say I went through my dark night of the soul during the pregnancy. And so in that time, I started brainwashing myself almost with self-development. So I would listen to every podcast, every YouTube motivational speech. I read so many books. And I just started to understand the power of the mind.
Starting point is 00:13:35 And what I actually realized is that all these thinkers and philosophers and all these great people that I admired were all talking about manifestation, even if they weren't using the term. Because essentially manifesting, to me, my definition of manifesting is that it's using the power of your mind to change and create the reality you experience. And they were all talking about that, the power of our mind. And so I thought, okay, how can I start to build my self-esteem? How can I start to create a future for myself? How can I turn my life around? And I really used all the pain I had been through as like the ultimate fuel and motivation. And I was like the day this baby comes out, I'm going to change my life and I'm going to make it the best it can be for me and him.
Starting point is 00:14:20 And I did. And I think the first thing I did was find a purpose. And that was to help others through my own journey and learning and learning. and share it with others. And so I was very inspired by people like Brené Brown and Tony Robbins, and I wanted to go on stage and talk. So I hosted my first workshop on self-love when Wolf was nine months old, five months old, sorry.
Starting point is 00:14:51 And having something to be of service of others, I think that was the foundation of my self-worth. And that's where it came from. And then I built on from there. as the years went. Did you stay sober after that? Yeah, I did. I did try drugs once afterwards.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Wolf was about, like, maybe he was about three months old. Basically, throughout the pregnancy, I was in such a bad place. I was like, I was really, I mean, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, right? And so when I was pregnant, I was thinking, oh my God,
Starting point is 00:15:22 when this baby comes out, like, I cannot wait to get fucked up. You know what I mean? In my head, I still thought that I wanted to get fucked up again. And... So it was a true addict behavior. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:32 And I was like, that was like getting me through. But at the same time, in parallel, I'm also thinking, I want to make this career for myself and I want to do something. And so when it came to it and I actually did go on this night out, I just remember thinking, oh, actually just wasn't that good. Like, it wasn't as good as I remember it. And then I remembered this experiment that I had listened to. And I had listened to this experiment, this rat experiment where basically they had rats in a cage. And in this cage, you would press a button for cocaine. And the rats in this, like, empty cage would basically keep pressing the button until eventually they basically died.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Then they put rats in another cage. And it was more like rat paradise. There was food, other rats, wheels, exercising things. And they found that the rats didn't do that. And so what I realized was the addiction maybe wasn't just coming from me being an addict. Maybe it was that my life wasn't full enough. Maybe that I didn't have anything else to wake up for. And so by bringing in this purpose, this drive to work, to make money, because the person
Starting point is 00:16:35 had a baby with had no money, how the fuck are we going to kind of like create this abundant life? And I was so I had that determination. And I think that finding that purpose, both of wanting to serve others, but also to be the best mom I could be, that kind of without me even needing to do anything else got me out of the cycle of addiction. So that experiment showed that when the rats had greater purpose, they just weren't interested in the drugs.
Starting point is 00:16:59 And so a lot of people that are using drugs are doing this because they have no purpose. There's nothing going on. They wake up to a dull life, boring, nothing happening every day. And it's like that's their stimulant that gets them excited to live. It sounds like they had community and weights and exercise. Yeah. I don't know if they had purpose themselves, but they had other things to like energize them, to like interact with, you know.
Starting point is 00:17:22 And it was, I think it was this thing or I was just like, yeah, of course I was an addict. I had nothing else going on for me. Like, there was nothing else to do. And so at any given point in time, did you ever have to go to a facility or a rehab or you were just able to do this all in your own? No, I actually did it on my own. And what's really interesting, people always think I'm sober now. I do drink, but like, I have one drink and then I'm done. It's, I think that the sobriety thing is different for everyone.
Starting point is 00:17:48 I don't think there's this one-size-fits-all. And I say that after interviewing thousands of people. It's what works for you might not work for someone else. someone maybe needs to be fully sober, some people smoke weed. Absolutely. I feel like there has to be nuance within it. Do you know what I mean? No, it's a personality.
Starting point is 00:18:05 I mean, listen, when I was a kid, I used to, not a kid, but when I was younger, I used to live, kind of a kid. I used to love cigarettes. I love nicotine. I love things going fast. I never got into cocaine because I know if I did, I would fucking love it. I know it. I like going fast.
Starting point is 00:18:17 I like talking. I like. No, he would literally have the like premium come on me. In my entire life. With his fucking long pinky, like he would be insane. Somehow intuitively, I've never done it, and it's not because I'm like holier than now. I've been exposed a lot of things, but I've never done it because I know for sure, like I like to go fast. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:36 And so I just, and I feel like I would have alcohol, not that I don't like feeling slow. Like things that put me down and like, that dull me. Yeah, I never like the drinking was never for me. I only drunk to do drugs. The idea of being drunk, I was like, ew. Yeah. That's interesting. And I don't like that feeling.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Yeah. don't like the feeling of being like wasted and sick and hung over. And so anyways, but I think to her point, like, if you, if you're not able to develop that awareness about yourself or if you just accidentally fall into something when you're younger, like luckily I wasn't exposed at such a young age. I kind of got to a point where when I did get exposed, I was old enough to know that. But I can only imagine if I was like 14, 15, 16 and had that, like for sure. Yeah. Same thing, probably. Good thing you weren't hanging out with me then. Yeah. I had my fun. But I think that's what happens to a lot of young people. You start partying young and you just don't have your faculties
Starting point is 00:19:28 about you and are not self-aware enough as a young person to know what's good and bad for you. And then, of course, if you have any kind of addictive personality, like you could get off the rails fast. I have gotten shit, and I'm sure you have too, about talking about my own experience with manifestation. Right. I, listen, it's worked for me. Yeah. It doesn't work for everyone. It's worked for me.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Yeah. What do you say to people who say manifestation is woo-woo? Okay, so I think I understand why they say it, and I think it's because manifesting has become a trend. And when something becomes a trend, two things happen. On one side, it's great because it builds awareness, but then it also really devalues it. And so I often find, or I often think about myself,
Starting point is 00:20:14 that I'm like the PR of manifesting trying to do damage control. Because I'm like, okay, manifesting isn't just about saying I am lucky, affirmations. It's not just about making a vision board. It's not just about wishful thinking. Manifestation really, as we've kind of established, it's about using the power of your mind. And there is neuroscience behind this. There is psychology behind this. There is, yes, some spirituality to certain aspects of it. But really, it's a practice that for me is a self-development practice. In fact, I think that all healing really sits under this manifestation umbrella. And when we go through my, or when anybody reads my books and they go through those seven-step
Starting point is 00:20:56 guides to manifesting, what you realize is that it's impossible to think you can do those seven steps and not change your life. And I think that that's why, you know, this book, I'm so proud it's sold, you know, well over a million copies in 125 countries. I mean, it's crazy. And it's because it's so obvious. Like, it works. You can't, you know, this, you know, the steps, really, and I'll just summarize them super quick. But it's, you know, you're not. Let it rip. You don't have to be quick. But it's, you know, step one, be clear in your vision. So you can't get to where you want to go unless you know where it is you are headed.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Step two is remove fear and doubt. You've got to believe that it's possible for you. But this isn't just about, okay, just believe in yourself. This is about the fact that whatever we believe about ourselves in the world around us actually becomes the filter through which we view the whole world. ingo. And so if you believe I'm unlucky in life, I'm not capable. I'm broke.
Starting point is 00:21:48 I'm broke. Bad things always happen to me. I'm stressed. I'm stressed. I'm tired. I'm not worthy of love. Then your brain will constantly find evidence to support that. And so you will keep yourself in this self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you're able to actually believe I am capable, good things are meant for me, I'm worthy of abundance, I can do anything I put my mind to. Your brain, its job is to essentially, yes, keep you safe, but also to make true what you tell yourself. And so it will find evidence constantly. We'll seek opportunities that are aligned with what you believe.
Starting point is 00:22:23 And so removing fear and doubt is about undoing all those limiting beliefs. It's about taking away the self-doubt and the insecurities and the low self-worth. And that is an ongoing process. It's not something you do overnight, but it's something that you commit to. Step three is then align your behavior. This is about taking action. It's about showing up and behaving in the way that you want to, as the person that you want to become. and that is aligned with the goals you want to reach.
Starting point is 00:22:49 It's also about stepping outside your comfort zone. I mean, most people listening, if they have a goal in mind, they probably already know the things that they need to do, but they're not currently doing them because they're being confined by their fear and doubt. You have an example. Okay, so perhaps you've just started a new business, and you want to find new clients.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Really simple. You want people to find out about your brand so they know about it. Likely, you are not posting on social media yet because you're nervous that you're, your neighbor is going to think it's cringe, or that you're not going to get enough likes on your social media post, and that's going to make you feel like embarrassed or a failure. And so you're not doing the very basic thing you need to do to get started or to get yourself out there. And so everybody will have things that they think, I know I need to reach out to this person if I want
Starting point is 00:23:37 this to happen. I know I need to finish this assignment. I know I need to commit more time to learning for this to happen. But they are just not doing it yet. Because they're currently just living in this comfort zone, which really is just, you know, where your fear and doubt lives. And it's just completely holding you back. And so aligning your behavior is this really proactive part of manifestation that people often forget. They think it's just about positive thinking, visualization. And people will always say to me, you know, they say, you know, it's just, it's woo, you've got to actually work. You know, you've got to do the thing. And I'm like, yeah, of course you fucking do. You can't think your way to success. No one can.
Starting point is 00:24:17 and that's not what manifestation is. So align your behavior is step three. Step four is overcome tests from the universe. So this is about really understanding that on any journey, you are going to be met with challenges, rejection, experiences that are asking you to settle for less than you deserve. And really this is about understanding that each of these experiences is an opportunity for you to grow into the person
Starting point is 00:24:43 that you want to become and are meant to become. it's an opportunity for you to take a lesson, to take meaning, to take value from it. And for me, this is actually how you develop an optimistic mindset. So when you think about optimism, I think a lot of people think it's about feeling happy all the time. I don't. I think that being optimistic means knowing that even on the dark days, better days are coming. And so this step for me is actually my favorite step, because, you know, when I first discovered manifesting at that point in my life, I had felt so hopeless, you know, that things were never going to get better. But now that I have manifesting,
Starting point is 00:25:20 I have never felt hopeless because this step gives me hope. I know that after every rejection, after every struggle, reward is on the other side. So it's my favorite. I mean, it's every great story anyone ever reads or resonates with. Oh my God, absolutely. You know what I mean? Like you never hear a story of like, hey, you were born into opulence and then just better and better and like, that's me all right. No, exactly. But I also think like the reason I like these kinds of stories is, you know, for anyone that's stuck in a kind of narrative or an evictum mindset, you can read endless amounts of biographies and stories about people with terrible circumstances that that's probably actually why you're reading about them in the first place.
Starting point is 00:26:00 So there's like real life evidence outside of you that exists for people that are doing this from very humble means. Absolutely. And, you know, most people will have experiences in their own lives. There will be things that happened in your life that were shit and that were really hard. And then there was probably a moment afterwards where you thought, I'm so glad it happened that way because look where it got me or look what the reward was at the end of that. And so, yeah, I mean, absolutely. And I think listening to inspiring stories from people is also so helpful just to remind you that you can absolutely get through adversity. Well, because people sometimes think that like they're so unique and their story is the only one of struggle and like the only one
Starting point is 00:26:43 that had circumstances of hardship, right? And you get stuck in that and you can, I feel when you're in that mindset, it's isolating because you believe that. But then if you look outside the world, I mean, even, you know, we're all fortunate to come from countries with a lot of means, right? Do you go to other places in the world? Like, people would die to be in some of the places that we were born in, even though some of those places might have their own issues and struggles. And I think like, that perspective is important for people to keep. Definitely. Right?
Starting point is 00:27:10 And unfortunately, when you're in that mindset and you're thinking everything's terrible and I have the worst circumstances and easy for you to say, it's really hard then to have that perspective because you're only focused on yourself. What's the next step? The next step five, embrace gratitude. So I call this the manifesting sweet spot, which is knowing what you want whilst being entirely grateful for all that you already have. And when people think about manifestation, I think they often think it's just about attracting more, more, more, but actually manifesting is about making the life you already have feel as good as possible.
Starting point is 00:27:45 And I think that if you actually did nothing else, you changed nothing, but you introduced a gratitude practice into your life. You would change your life. 100%. Because to me, this is how happiness is built. So when you're manifesting your goals, I always think that, like, I should put a disclaimer on this, that manifest. your goals will not make you happy. Okay, because when you reach that goal, you will just, the joy will be fleeting and then you'll find a new goal. Happiness truly is built on the journey. And gratitude, I think, is the way that you do that. It's the way, it's the ability to start
Starting point is 00:28:21 appreciating life's simple and ordinary moments of joy and being able to put them together so often that you create a happy life. You know, it's about being able to walk out the house and just take in the fresh breeze or enjoy your morning coffee or, or be able to reframe, you know, I love this reframe of like instead of saying, you know, I have to do it. You say I get to, you know, instead of saying I have to take my kids to school, I have to cook dinner tonight, I have to go to work. It's like, I get to, I get to go to work. I get to cook my kids dinner. I get to take them to school, you know.
Starting point is 00:28:54 And so being able to adopt this attitude of gratitude is so life-changing. And there's science behind it, you know, there's great science behind there. There's so much research on the power of gratitude for insomnia, depression, anxiety. Even Dr. Despenza did this experiment where he found people who practice gratitude three times a day, four days in a row, strengthen their immune system by 50%. Wow. So it has these really profound effects. And there's this great saying which in Arabic literally translates to,
Starting point is 00:29:29 but every thanks you give, you get a thousand in return. And it's for me, like, describes this perfectly. It's like the more grateful you are, the more the universe will give you to be grateful for. Then the step six, which is turn envy into inspiration. So envy comes from a low vibe emotion that comes from a scarcity mindset. So envy says you have something and that might mean left for me. And actually, I think the problem with envy is that most people don't admit when they're experiencing it. So I do these really big live shows, and I'll always say to the audience, you know, like, who here gets jealous from time to time? And like 5% of people will put up their hand. And I'm like, you fucking liars, right? Everybody here gets jealous.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Do you say you fucking liars? Yeah, yeah, I do. You should say you fucking liars. You know, I do. You're good. No, yeah. You know, you've got kids, right? You've got three. So you know how young they are when they start feeling envy, right? Someone's playing with their toys. You're giving attention to another. kid. That's a great point. You can see it. Even if you get someone stickers, the other one doesn't get the exact stickers. And so, but we don't. Even the stuff that they don't care about at all until somebody else touches it. Obviously. Every time. My son is the worst for it. By the way, that's a commentary on a lot of women in dating too. Keep going. Quick break to talk about the ChiliPad 2.0. We love this product. If you're somebody who's interested in optimizing your sleep and getting more impactful, deeper, restful sleep, the ChiliPad 2.0 can help you get there. Because here's the thing. When you share a bed with someone, sleep becomes a team sport and not always a cooperative one. One of you runs hot. One of you runs cold. You've tried every combination of blankets, fans, and AC settings, and someone is always losing. That's exactly why we love the chili pad 2.0. It's become a non-negotiable part of our sleep setup. It's a water-based mattress that actively controls the temperature of your bed from 55 to 115 degrees all night long. It works on top of your existing mattress, so you don't have to change your bed or anything like that. And the chili pad 2.0 is a complete redesign.
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Starting point is 00:31:50 Lauren likes to sleep a little warmer. This helps us do so. So if you're looking for better sleep, check them out. Visit www.w.w.comme slash skinny to get your chili. pad and save up to $255 off a new chili pad 2.0 with code Skinny. This special offer is available for the Bostics listeners and only for a limited time. Order it today with free shipping and try it out for 30 days. You can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial. Visit www.sleep.m.m.m. Skinny and calm your racing mind with ChiliPad's cool
Starting point is 00:32:20 sleep technology. You invest in each other and you invest in your health. Your sleep deserves the same commitment. Thank God Michael committed to skincare. Not only is his skin thrilled, I'm thrilled. If you want skincare that is designed specifically for men's thicker skin, and you want four simple products that take a couple minutes morning and night, the regimen by Caldera Lab has you covered. For me personally, we've had so many people come on and talk about the importance of skin health that I would have to be a total dummy to not take it seriously.
Starting point is 00:32:51 And so when I found Caldera Lab's products, it was a no-brainer because we want simple, easy to follow routines as men. We don't want complication. We don't want to overdo it. We don't want to underdo it. We just want to be told what to do with the right products. And they definitely do that. What I like about this brand, though, as his wife, is it's clean and non-toxic ingredients. I have spent so much time making sure that my whole home is non-toxic. So the fact that these four simple products are non-toxic makes all the difference. And what I love about these products is you can notice the change right away. You feel more hydrated. Your skin looks brighter. People comment to me on the regular that my skin looks great, that it's glowing. And listen, even though I'm a man, it feels nice to have a little bit of a skin compliment. The one that I like the best for him is the hydro layer. It was named the best for anti-aging by Men's Health magazine. When he comes out of that bathroom, he is so glowy. Let me tell you. If you don't believe me, you can try Caldera Lab risk-free for 30 days. If you're looking for a gift he'll actually use every single day, This is it. Go to caldera Lab.com slash skinny and use code skinny for 20% off your first order. Go to caldera lab.com slash skinny and use code skinny for 20% off your first order. Let me tell you about Truvia, alulose, plus stevia sweetener and monk fruit sweetener. It's smooth. It's a balanced tri-blend that delivers sugar-like sweetness with zero calories per serving.
Starting point is 00:34:11 So we were on vacation. We brought some of these little packets in our travel bag. my dad was using them in his coffee every single day. It's amazing. It doesn't taste like an artificial taste. It's sort of like enhances whatever you're drinking. So if you're having a coffee or a matcha and gives it a little more overall sweetness. It measures cup for cup like sugar and making it easy to swap into everyday recipes with no guesswork. It's designed to taste like sugar and works across a wide range of applications. And it makes reducing sugar feel simple, effortless, and satisfying. So if you're trying to cut back on sugar and you want something that tastes like sugar and has no aftertaste, this is going to be the new thing to use for beverages, cooking, and baking.
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Starting point is 00:36:32 It's all the rage because it promotes GLP1 signaling naturally. So people are really, really into it. If you have not listened to the conversation with Colleen, I would definitely recommend going back and listening to it. Visit pendleinlife.com, use code skinny at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. That's P-E-N-D-U-L-U-M-L-I-F-E dot com, use code skinny for 20% off your first order. I think that what happens is adults as we start to get really, we deny it. So we say, no, I'm not jealous. And so what we do when we say we're not jealous is we judge people. So maybe a confident person walks in the room. And instead of saying, God, I wish I had that confidence, we say, God, they're so up themselves. And so I think judgment is really envy and
Starting point is 00:37:19 disguise. And I think firstly, what we need to start doing is being honest about when it comes up for us, like be honest about when you feel jealous, envious, because actually it can show you something. It can show you what you still want more of in your life. It can show you what still needs healing within you. You can use it as a clue for those two things. And then you can take it a step further and you can turn it into inspiration. Inspiration is the antithesis of envy and it comes from this really high vibrational mindset. Inspiration says you have something and I can have it too. You know there's enough for us all and to take that a step further you start celebrating other people. Let me tell you a really great story. Okay. So I think that when you celebrate other people,
Starting point is 00:38:05 we show the universe. I'm not threatened by your success because I believe there is an abundance of it all. And back in 2020, me and this friend of mine were kind of starting in self-development around the same time. And she in lockdown started this crystal bracelet brand called T-Balance Crystals. And one day, Bella Hadid was pictured wearing the bracelet. So I went on my Instagram stories and I was like, oh my God, Bella Hadid is wearing my friend's bracelet. I'm so proud of her. Go check it out. Fast forward to January 2022, three weeks after my orange book Manifest came out and who should walk out of their hotel room with my book clutched under her hand for the whole world to see. I saw that.
Starting point is 00:38:49 I saw that. Maybe that's where I saw the book. Maybe. And you're like, what are the chances? And you're so smart because you made it orange too and everyone's like, what is that orange thing in her hand? Yeah. It's not her mess. Yeah. But it's amazing.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yeah. My publishing house didn't want me to go for orange. I literally, I fought toothed a nail for that. Do you know who Charlie Munger was? No. He was Warren Buffett's partner for many years. And I always loved his quote on envy. He said, envy's the worst of the sins to have because it's the only one you can't have any fun at.
Starting point is 00:39:19 And I love, but it's true. I like that. Because the other ones, at least you're doing something like envy, you're just making yourself miserable. Absolutely. There's no upside to it at all. Yeah. Yeah. And then you have the last one.
Starting point is 00:39:32 The last step is trust in the universe. This is about faith, surrender. You know, for some people, I say the universe, I believe in the power of energy. Some people, that's God, right? But it's about this blind faith that I just trust that everything is going to work out for me. And in having this faith, you're able to actually not become so obsessive on these goals. You know, that's, I think the biggest mistake people make with manifesting is they think they want something and they become obsessed. And that obsession really comes very close to desperation.
Starting point is 00:40:04 And desperation comes from fear and doubt. And it's like you grip too tight. You won't allow it to flow into your life. Why is desperation so anti-seductive? Because it's a symptom of this insecurity and this limiting belief that I think it blocks the universe from providing you with what you desire. And I think that also desperation like changes your nervous state and like your nervous system and the way that it's operating. If you are in a tense, you know, your nervous system is overstimulated. I think it really blocks you from manifestation, you know, like a calm nervous system is actually key.
Starting point is 00:40:42 It's a turnoff, I feel like, in every area. Whether it's dating or friendship or a business deal, it's almost a smell and an energy that people can feel energetically. Yes. Well, I think it actually is, like, you know, stress is contagious. So did you hear that? Don't get me with your stress. I'm not that bit, no, go off on that. I've been stress in a long time. Go off on that. No, I was, I was interviewing Dr. Tara Swart, this neuroscientist, and she spoke a lot about it. And stress is contagious and people can absolutely sense your stress. But for me, stress is the same as anxiety, desperation, insecurity. You know, there is something that
Starting point is 00:41:21 people can just sense it. It changes how they respond to you. What do you do to stay in a high vibration at all times? Well, I think firstly is like you can't always be high vibe. So, you know, a few days before my cycle, fuck me. I am not high vibe. Neither am I. Yeah. It's very similar. But, you know, what you can do is firstly have a gratitude practice. Like gratitude, gratitude is like the highest vibration you can be. And so if you can genuinely have this like appreciation of life, I think that is one of the best ways to do it. I think raising your vibration can come from spending. time in nature from calming your nervous system. For me, that might be sound baths, yoga, exercise. It's repeating positive affirmations. It's being generous with my time, my resources. It's celebrating other people. It's speaking to myself as kindly as I can. You know, all these
Starting point is 00:42:18 things help to raise your vibration and make you feel better. And so what I think you see then is like, I've laid out these seven steps, right? So my seven steps are manifesting. It's, Get clear on what you want. Believe you're worthy of it. Take action to make it happen. Persist through challenges. Embrace gratitude. Turn envy into inspiration and then have faith.
Starting point is 00:42:38 How can you not fucking change your life if you do all those things? What have you seen happen when people... And it's not woo-woo either. There's nothing woo-woo about it really. But also, I love a little sprinkle of woo-woo. Oh, a sprinkle is good. Like a little flick of the salt. Give me a little woo-woo.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Yeah. What have you seen? What are some testimonials that you've seen after people implement these steps in their life. Oh my God. I mean, it's honestly, I mean, I'm very, very, very blessed to do what I do because I wake up to DMs every day with people's stories. And so it's honestly so hard to pinpoint a few, but it's people who have got out of toxic relationships, who have started new relationships, who have changed career paths. I mean, it's constant. And it's really, it's anything in everyone. It's people messaging me who at 50, I've just changed.
Starting point is 00:43:28 my life, thank you so much. Or I'm 18 and I've just passed my A-levels. Or, you know, so it's, it's any age, anywhere, anything. You can do it with the power of manifestation. How did you use all of these tools when you were breaking up with your father's, with your son's father? How did you access these tools? And what did you reach for first? Well, I think that actually it was really interesting because me and Wade are still, I was such good friends. That's nice. That's amazing. We are, we still are family and for us it was actually it wasn't like anything bad happened we were like we love each other so much and we're best friends and we have the son we adore but are we exactly the right fit for each other romantically long term probably not like we could stay and make it work but we would be giving up
Starting point is 00:44:16 our like fundamental needs to make it happen and would there be both probably be better suited with someone else yeah absolutely and so it was this very like loving separation, but we're still a family. And I think that, you know, for me, it's, it's interesting because, you know, he's somebody I manifested. It wasn't my forever person. But that's like saying, you know, well, if you manifest a job, a new job, that has to be your job forever. Right. Right. And I don't think that. I think life is full of many chapters. And for me, to up until this point, and it may change, because I may not have met the right person, but I don't think I am particularly like, obsessed with the idea of one person forever and ever.
Starting point is 00:45:00 I have to be honest, if I was not with Michael, if Michael and I... Good, good save. Good save. No, if I was not with Michael, if I was just me without Michael, I would feel the same way as you. I totally understand that mentality. I think I've been lucky to find like a twin flame in my life. But if I didn't have that twin flame burning in my relationship, I would feel the same way you feel. I would used to have said that if it wasn't for you, then I would keep going. Honestly, if we break up, I'm going to a mountain somewhere and living by myself or the rest of my life. I don't have the energy to date anymore.
Starting point is 00:45:33 I don't want to do it. I don't want to do small talk. I don't want to get on the apps. I'm just going to roll over and give up and just be alone. I'm done. I'm just going to ask or call it a night. No, I don't even want to. I just want to be left alone.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Oh, you don't even want to. Just use your hand. I, it's too. It's too much. You know, if I really analyze it and think about it at this stage in my life, I have no energy to put any effort into dating. I feel like once you've had like the best personality in the world, you cannot go like what are you going to do? You're going to be so bored. It's not that.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Even when I was 7 million pounds overweight after my pregnancy, I'm like, well, I still have my personality. It's not that. I look at it. It's like it's like I've played it for a really long time. I'm on like the really hard last levels. I can't go back to level one and start doing the small chat again. I don't want to get to know you or your family. I don't want to know.
Starting point is 00:46:23 Oh, okay. No, you know what I mean? Like I don't want to meet a new guy. that's going to be my new, like, father. I don't want to do that. Well, guys, I think you're good. We're going to come to that. But I do, I want you to speak about what you just said, which is like you...
Starting point is 00:46:38 I could live on the English countryside on a hill somewhere. Pretty land over there. I can do that. I want you to speak on what you just said, which is that you're not, you don't feel like you need this forever person. I like that. I want to hear more about that. It may just be that I haven't met the right person.
Starting point is 00:46:53 But I always like the idea that perhaps, I would have a number of incredible love affairs in my life. I like that for you. When I was younger, when I went through my first big, big, big boyfriend, my big, my big, big breakup when I was 22, 23, I was with someone who was like 25 years older than me. It was like my first, like, big love. And when we broke up, I was like on the floor. I just felt like I just completely, oh, it was just awful.
Starting point is 00:47:22 And I remember someone saying to me, you know, the best love stories don't always have happy ever after. And actually, I found real comfort in that that it was still a great love story. It just didn't end in this happily ever after and that's okay. What did the guy do? Croke? He died. Too old? No. I'm just kidding. He just dumped me over the phone. It was awful. He's saying like, now is he croaked? No. Because he was 25 years old. Because he was an old one. He was an old joke. Yeah. Your parents are 20 years apart. He killed over and died. 18. 18. They've been a a lot time. So I love that. And I think that when I think about my own journey, you know, who I am now to who I was five years ago or 10 years ago,
Starting point is 00:48:01 it was so different. And I think that that means that unless the person that I'm with is also growing and changing and evolving and that we're doing it together, then I can imagine that I would want to change fun. That's, that's right. That's like, by the way, if you're not evolving with someone, you can outgrow the person. But you know what? I think that's very honest and I think it's good because some people don't share that perspective openly and then they get into these relationships and to your point earlier they're not clear about what they actually want and they're not communicating that and they think that's also a mess. Yeah, right? It's true. We're like they're not being honest with themselves. Yeah. But then I say that but then I'm like such a like romantic that when
Starting point is 00:48:47 I do meet someone that I really like I'm like obviously I'm going to marry you. But maybe like it's like for a second, third marriage, you know, maybe you just do like different I'm still on zero marriages, so we're good. Okay. Maybe you have a Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell situation. Who knows? Tell me about agony Sundays. What's that?
Starting point is 00:49:04 Agni Aunt Sundays. Wait, how do you say? Agony Sundays sound pretty miserable. Do you have Agni Arne here? I have a problem pronouncing things, people get mad. So say it again? Agni Aunt Sundays. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:49:17 Oh, okay. So an Agni Aunt is like a... What do you say that in the brief? Like a column, like a dear... Got it. What do you call it? Like Dear Lauren. Dear Abby.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Yeah, like when you're asking for advice. Okay. Like, what don't I think of that? It's an advice column. Okay, so what had happened was basically a week, this is how my whole career started. A week before I found out I was pregnant, I decided to start something on my Instagram
Starting point is 00:49:42 called Agni Aunt Sundays. And I was like, I'm just going to, like, send me your dilemmas and I'll just answer because I liked giving people advice. And throughout my pregnancy, every Sunday, I would answer people's questions. and more and more people would like write in. And this Sunday was like, of all the like darkness in my pregnancy,
Starting point is 00:50:05 every Sunday for a couple of hours, I found like peace. And that's when I realized what my purpose was to help others. Because I found that like I've actually in my latest book, Confidence, Step 7 is be of service. Because I think so often when we are so consumed by our own self-loathing or depression or whatever it is. I have to say, like, just go and do something for someone else. Like, it's so important for all of us to be able to feel like we are of value in the world.
Starting point is 00:50:32 And it can be something small, you know. What was the worst dilemma that you had to help someone with that you remember? Actually, somebody wrote in, she won't mind me saying. She wrote in and her husband had passed away the week prior, an accidental overdose in the U.S., and it was COVID. and they had to, she had to fly back on her own. It was, I mean, it was horrific. And actually, after that, I started coaching her for like a year and a half.
Starting point is 00:51:05 And she was just incredible, like the resilience. And actually, she messaged me recently. She's just remarried. And she was amazing, honestly. But I remember seeing that through the question box and just being like, oh, my goodness. And then I just messaged her private. straight away and offered to chat to her not for any cast and then we started working together. You are a very poised, elegant public speaker.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Oh, thank you. Give the audience some tips on public speaking. Is this a natural talent or something that you work at or a mixture of both? Well, I've had a lot of practice now, but the first time I did it, I remember going on stage. So I, like, in this old church, I'd rented. My legs would, like, jelly. my voice was so shaky. So look, there's a few things that I can give people advice on for this.
Starting point is 00:51:58 So for public speaking. So the first is use the power of affirmations. So before you go on stage, if you keep saying to yourself, I am so nervous, what if I fuck up, you will be nervous and you may fuck up. So keep saying to yourself, I'm so excited to share my message. I cannot wait to get on stage. I am calm and ready. And the truth is, it's like, your brain can rarely differentiate.
Starting point is 00:52:22 a truth from a lie. So whatever you tell it, it will trust to be true. And it will try to make that true, as we kind of discussed earlier. And so the more you can just repeat these positive affirmations, the better you will feel. And you don't have to believe them as you're saying it, because your brain will just take it as fact. The other is to breathe. Okay, so do a breathwork exercise before you go on stage again to calm your nervous system so that you have more opportunity, you're giving yourself the best opportunity to actually feel physically calm. You could try a power pose before you get on stage. So there's something called the embodied cognition effect where your body language can actually impact how you feel. So often we think
Starting point is 00:53:04 about the way that we feel impacts our body language, but actually if you stand like with your shoulders back, your head tall, your arms by your side and you adopt this power pose, you can actually start to feel more confident. But the best piece of advice, I would say is this. When people get scared about public speaking, usually the number one fear is what if I mess up, right? And what I have realized and I have done thousands of talks now in the last five years is that if you fuck up, nobody cares. People aren't looking to listen to a robot on stage. They want to listen to a human. They want to listen to your vulnerability, to your truth about what you have to say. And it's actually in the times, like, if I mess up on stage or I get my line
Starting point is 00:53:52 wrong or I say something wrong, I just am like, oh my God, sorry guys, mess that up, let's go again. Nobody cares. And actually, it gives me so much more, I'm so much more relaxed because I'm giving myself space to not be perfect. Like, I'm giving myself space to be imperfect. So give yourself space to be imperfect. And I think in doing so, you will just naturally become so much more relaxed within it. And then you can use visualization before you go on stage. You can visualize what you're doing. Visualize the speech.
Starting point is 00:54:26 You can visualize the audience. You can just go through it from beginning to end. It will actually calm your nervous system down when it actually comes to it. And the last thing is just practice. You know, just keep practicing. It does get easier. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform
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Starting point is 00:55:59 completely, if you've had that idea for that side hustle or that main business, or just the hobby you want to share more about Squarespace is your go-to to get it all done. So check them out. Go to Squarespace.com slash Skinny for a free trial. And When you're ready to launch, use offer code Skinny to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's Squarespace.com slash Skinny. True Fruit. Let me tell you. They, oh my gosh, designed us the cutest bag with me and Michael's face on it.
Starting point is 00:56:25 And I opened up those suckers and I was popping them like nobody's business. Real fruit covered in chocolate. You grab it from the freezer aisle. It's a better-for-you dessert option and so good. My kids are obsessed. Truefrew is launching a Greek yogurt product. I am telling you you will freak out. It's like it tastes so delicious that you think you're having this crazy sweet treat, but it's Greek yogurt. So it's a Greek yogurt version, which is real frozen fruit covered in Greek yogurt. It comes in strawberry,
Starting point is 00:56:57 raspberry, banana. I like, what do you think? I like the raspberry. You guys know this. You can find it in the frozen aisle of your grocery store now. It's really great for a midday snack. I like it with popcorn like a late night treat, family movie night, post workout. My kids love it. Something sweet that you feel good about eating. It's frozen and refreshing and it's a lighter sweet option. I give my kids these little heart bowls and I just add my true fruit in it. It is absolutely the best dessert. You will love it. I don't know about you, but I like the fact that it's real fruit with Greek yogurt and it's frozen. It just feels like it's hitting all the boxes. I like something sweet at the end of the night and this sure hits the spot.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Find it now in the freeze aisle of your grocery store. I do not do coffee without doing protein first. I don't mess around. My trainer, Sandy Brockman, told me how important it is that I wake up with protein. So enter Kachava. If you are looking for a protein that is so easy to just throw in your bag when you're running out the door, you have to check them out. So it's an all in one nutrition shake and it can go with you wherever you're headed. So if I'm running to the gem and I need something that gives me energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, cognition, immunity, this is a great one to just grab on the go. Sometimes I'm busy, I'm running out the door and I just need something that is like everything in one. It's a deliciously simple shake pack to go.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Just one packet provides complete nutrition ready for the life on the go. It has protein, fiber, vitamins, minerals, greens, probiotics, omegas, electrolytes. and more. So it hits all the things that I like to have before I have coffee. My favorite flavor is the chocolate. That is always my go-to. There's no artificial flavors, colors or sweeteners. It's non-GMO. There's no soy, no animal products, no gluten, no preservatives. You can try it risk-free too, and they have like a love-it guarantee. So check out Kachava for clean nutrition to fuel you wherever your day takes you. No fillers, no nonsense. Take your daily ritual with you. Go to Kachava. Chava.com and use CodeSkinney for 15% off your first order. That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A-V-A-com,
Starting point is 00:59:13 Code Skinny. This episode is brought to you by Lauren Bostick for P-Volve. That's right. I have launched a kit with P-Volve. I designed every single aspect of this kit with the P-Volve team, and it is gorgeous, as you can see. We have 8-pound weights, 12-pound weights, 15-pound weights, because I am so passionate about getting women to lift heavier. And this kit has heavy weights in it. And it also has everything you need for stability and mobility. So in this kit, you're really getting everything you could ever want when it comes to fitness. You're also getting access to my P-Volve trainer, Danny Coleman.
Starting point is 00:59:50 She also happens to be Jennifer Aniston's trainer. She's coached me along this P-Volve journey. P-Volve has been something that I keep going back to for the last seven years. I've had three babies and it's helped me stay in shape and tighten and tone up. I love the founder, Rachel. I think she's an absolute genius. So when she came to me and wanted to create this custom kit for you guys, I was like, let's do it. It's limited addition.
Starting point is 01:00:16 It's gorgeous. It comes in the most beautiful box ever. And the best part is everything is built with intention. So Peevolve's core strength pillars are strength, mobility, and stability. and this kit hits all of them. This is product that you want out in your living room, in your office. It's aesthetically pleasing. It's gorgeous.
Starting point is 01:00:37 But most importantly, it works. If you want to shrink your body composition and change your life, start lifting heavy and implement stability and mobility. Lauren Bostic for P-Volve has all of the things. Like I said, this is a limited edition kit. It's called Strength Evolved. And once it's gone, it's gone. If you're looking for low impact, but if you're looking for low impact, but if you're
Starting point is 01:00:58 intense workouts, check out P-Volve. Head to P-Volve.com slash skinny and use code skinny for 15 percent off site-wide or on class packs at a P-Volve studio near you. And definitely grab this kit, you guys, because like I said, once it's gone, it's gone. Lauren Bostic for P-Bolve. I think that with AI now, you're so right about what you just said. People don't want a robot, even when you're reading someone's Instagram post and you can tell that- Oh my God, it's the captions. It fucking kills me. You can tell that it's AI. We can feel that it's AI. And I think that it's the same with public speaking.
Starting point is 01:01:33 It's refreshing to see the vulnerabilities and the fuckups and the mess ups. Yeah. Because you're right. We don't want a robot. Yeah. I was with this big group of investors out here for this dinner that was like that I probably shouldn't have been at. There was like way too many smart people and I was like trying to keep up.
Starting point is 01:01:48 And a lot of tech people and they were one of the things they did ask me at the dinner was if I'm worried about AI displacing this kind of thing. And what I told them is no, not at all, because you see like right away where people are already at this point in the early stages of A talking about how they swipe past real quick if it's AI or they don't like the AI caption or the email. Human beings, there's an energetic animal instinct. Do you want that? And I think people will always crave that. We are not moving to a place where like I don't want to sit here and hear this conversation between two robots that aren't real.
Starting point is 01:02:21 I don't, I'm not interested at all about how robots manifesting. You could fuck a robot in the English country side. So you don't have to deal with anyone. Maybe that. Maybe that will help me. But the point is, I think what you're talking about is what we are drawn to as a species is the human element and the human connection. And with that, the imperfection of what it means to be human.
Starting point is 01:02:41 Nobody wants that, like, perfectly dialed in robot version of a person or content or whatever. And I think over time, actually, what will happen is we will get even better at recognizing when it's artificial. and we will be less drawn to it, not more. That's my prediction. I completely agree. These guys were maybe smarter and they're probably going to put billions of dollars
Starting point is 01:03:02 into things that I'm not paying attention to. How are you balancing everything that you have going on? You're obviously an entrepreneur. You've got a fragrance line. You're launching a book. You have your other books. How are you balancing that with being a mother? Because I ask this to a lot of successful women on this show.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Like there is a mom guilt. I have it. I know. And everyone I've talked to says that there is. They acknowledge it. What are you doing to balance that? I don't know. I think that I found my rhythm with it.
Starting point is 01:03:30 And I think that obviously, first time I'm co-parenting. So, you know, half the time I am like more focused on work naturally. His dad is incredible. I think that I just like, I work really hard to feel my best physically. And so I feel like I just have a lot of energy. for it because I take peptides and I take a lot of supplements and I look after myself and I only have one kid. One kid is pretty easy, I would say. You know, I have my brothers and sisters have three each and two each and so I'm really aware that one is so much easier than two or three or four.
Starting point is 01:04:15 What's the peptide stack? This is Roxy's peptide stack. Okay. Get ready. I've got CJC 1295. What's that for? growth hormone. Okay. Good for inflammation too. Oh, yeah. Okay. Ipomoralin.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Yep. Great. Yeah. To also target GH without significantly affecting cortisol levels. BPC 157. Really good for you. TB 500. G.HKCU, the copper.
Starting point is 01:04:46 Yeah, for hair, nails. Yeah. So that's my. And have you noticed a difference? Yeah. I mean, I feel amazing. A lot of these things were like they were legal here. Then they became illegal.
Starting point is 01:04:54 now they're legal again when I hear the BBC 157 I think is like incredible especially if you have injuries and you need to recover but you're doing like a superhuman stack fuck yeah yeah so we got a lot to do are they are you doing them as a like it's compounded and it's one shot or you're doing okay it's compounded as one shot once a week no I do it every day five days on two days off so it's so it's that's what it is that's what it is five so it's good nervous with shots that's normal five days on two days off yeah so it's good. And I feel, you know, I would say that for five years, I really didn't stop and I was just constantly burnt out. And actually this year on my vision board was like more balanced. Is it
Starting point is 01:05:34 regulated more over there in the UK or less than here right now? I actually don't know. Do you get it over there? Yeah, I got it with an amazing doctor who I really trust. I'm assuming it's less, maybe less rate. I don't know. I don't know. The compound pharmacies were issues over here. Right. But they think they've fixed it. But anyways, I was just curious about that over there. Yeah. What's the difference between confidence and arrogance? So I always, people often, you know, I think in my confidence book, I have this step, which is about celebrating yourself. I say that one of the reasons, especially as women, we struggle to celebrate ourselves,
Starting point is 01:06:04 is because one, we've glorified humility. So being like humble, it's like this like, you must be humble, you know? Yeah. But then the other thing is that there's this real fear that if I'm confident, am I going to come across as arrogant. Okay. Firstly, if you think that you are worried about coming across as arrogant, you're not. Arogant people just are not that self-aware.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Yeah. And I think that, you know, arrogance is really like I am the best and confidence is I am working to be the best that I can be. You know, confidence doesn't need to put other people down to put themselves up. I think confidence is quiet, whereas arrogance is often loud. And I think that it's really important to understand the distinction between the two because you can be confident without being arrogant. And I think that actually we owe it to ourselves to be able to like own our purpose. power and own our achievements and you don't have to do it in like a garish way but you should still do it you know like why the fuck not i like that explanation in description what is your writing
Starting point is 01:07:06 practice you've you've written a lot of books yeah it's not easy it's a lot of work oh my god how many books in total i think people like it's a lot of work yeah yeah like and the books that you've written are on niche subjects it's not a joke how many books i've written four books and i'm writing my fifth now. A lot of books. It is the hardest thing I've ever done for sure. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:28 I feel validated. Yeah. I was trying to explain it to him. I'm like, I have no doubt. It's no joke. I love reading. And every time she always says she should write a book.
Starting point is 01:07:35 And I think it is the most daunting task. Yeah. It's just, I was cleaning the baseboards in my house before I wanted to sit down. I had cleaned and organized every single possible last butthole hair in my office, my house because I didn't, you almost, it's a journey to like sit down and actually get your thoughts out and articulate them the way they are in your head. Yeah. Do you have a practice that you adhere to every day? So I always like know when my writing days are. So rather than trying to like think
Starting point is 01:08:08 spare of the moment, now I feel like writing like that's not going to, it's not going to happen. It's a bit like why a book gym class is in advance, right? So it's like I book out those days. I find my happy place with it. So each book is different. So the first book I, I read. I, wrote it on my kitchen table. The second book I wrote in cafes. The third book, this kid's book, I also wrote in cafes. The fourth book I wrote in bed, right? I just would get really comfy, stack my pillows up, have my drink next to me, and I wrote it in bed. So I find like my space, which I feel like I'm in the zone. And what do you, do you just write on a laptop, computer? I write on my laptop. And then do you do anything to get, like, do you, headphones or like,
Starting point is 01:08:45 are you doing anything? I usually have like some music on in the background. But what I find is that the first book, I mean, God, the first manifest, the orange book, I mean, I wrote it in eight weeks, which was just absolutely insanity. Wow. Like, I would never do that again, but I didn't do anything else. I just zoned in and wrote night and day for eight weeks. And I found out the hours that my brain was most sort of powerful, which for me is like from 6 a.m. till 10 a.m. So it's like, I really like locked into those hours. I think that's probably when I had the most mum girl, because I was not present even on weekends. Like, I was just writing. But afterwards, I got really sick. Because I think you forget how much mental energy.
Starting point is 01:09:22 It's like it burns so many calories. It's like so intense. Now I'm writing this next, my, this book I'm writing now, I am loving the process. What I've realized with book writing is like, you think you want to, you think you're going to write and then it's going to like come out really fluently. It's not. You're going to rewrite it like a hundred times. I always just think, okay, instead of thinking about what I want to write, what do I want
Starting point is 01:09:45 to say? And I just get it out. And I know it's probably not going to make sense. and it's probably going to not flow right. And then I go through sentence by sentence 10,000 times until I think I've perfected it. Have you named the book that's coming out yet? Yes. But you haven't shared that yet?
Starting point is 01:09:59 I haven't shared that yet. Okay. But so the book that is coming out is called confidence. And it's... No, that book is out. It's out. I think it's at like every U.S. airport at the moment. Why don't I have one that's signed here?
Starting point is 01:10:10 Oh, I will send you some. I have a whole library of everyone who's come on the show of their book that's signed. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. We'll send you. signed once. I need a sign, but I need to write my name.
Starting point is 01:10:22 Obviously. And be like, 100%. I'm in New York next week. You might have to sign me each of your books so I can have the colors. If you bring it to New York office, then you can go say hi over there
Starting point is 01:10:31 and you can check out the space. Okay, why don't I do that next week? If we're in New York in September. Yes. It will be there in September. Please do. So I'm going to be in New York at the town hall
Starting point is 01:10:41 doing my first ever manifest live show. So cool. They're three hours. I've done, I think, close to 15 of these live shows. They are so much fun. Come on your own. Come with friends. Come with your colleagues. You will not walk out the same way that you walked in. We go through my seven steps in detail, but it's really entertaining. It's fun. It's you're going to fucking love it. If we're in town, we will come. Please come. And I need each color and the kid's book signed to me and Michael. Sorry. I already, I mean, I'll also buy it. I just want you to like send me your signs to thing. We're going to get it for you ASAP. We take these autographed books and then we put them on. on eBay and they crush. No.
Starting point is 01:11:21 I'm just kidding. I know. We're going to have, I want a library like Beauty and the Beast. Oh my God. No, I love that. Yeah. I want like all the guests we've had on. We've had some incredible people.
Starting point is 01:11:29 We've got some cool books from just the people we've got to talk with yours. It's amazing. And yours are so uniquely colored so they'll stand out. Yes, exactly. Roxy. You need to go head on on your podcast because you're really good at it. You need to do a podcast. I know you have a podcast, but you need to, I feel like.
Starting point is 01:11:47 We just finished series three. So yes. Do you know what I love interviewing experts and learning? You learned so much podcasting. You're great on a mic, natural. Oh, thank you. It's like the whole reason we do it. I mean, obviously made a living doing it.
Starting point is 01:12:01 But it's like you're going to meet so many incredible people. Yeah. You know? I've wanted to do this with you for a long time. Where can everyone follow you, support your book? Manifest Live Show. We've also got Manifest the app, which has just launched, which has got everything. Affirmation, Meditations, meditations, visualization, breathwork, journaling,
Starting point is 01:12:18 gratitude is everything finally. And where can they sign up if they want to go to Manifest Live in New York City? Oh, I think Ticketmaster and we're producing it with Live Nation. Cool. And the details will be on my Instagram as well. And I'm going to need a breakdown of everywhere to go in London with hair and makeup. One hundred percent. Roxy, thank you for coming on the show. Thank you for doing this.

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