The Bossticks - How To Raise Resilient, Confident Kids Who Can Handle The Real World Ft. Lauren Magers

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

#978: Join us as we sit down with Lauren Magers – entrepreneur, parenting coach, and creator of The Happy Life System, a transformational family framework designed to help parents build calmer homes, stronger relationships, and emotionally intelligent, confident children. In this episode, Lauren breaks down exactly how to raise resilient, disciplined, and world-ready kids through intentional structure and leadership inside the home. She dives into practical strategies around setting boundaries, creating consistent discipline, and building character from an early age. From building systems around gratitude practices and confidence-building routines to teaching essential life skills that foster independence, emotional regulation, and personal responsibility.   For Detailed Show Notes visit TheBossticks.com   To connect with Lauren Magers click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Head to our ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of the products mentioned in each episode.   Visit https://thelaurenmagers.com/bossticks?via=lauryn to unlock exclusive access to the Lauren Magers Happy Life System and use code SKINNY for 10% off.    This episode is sponsored by PVOLVE Head to http://pvolve.com/skinny and use code SKINNY for 15% off sitewide, or on class packs at a Pvolve studio near you.   This episode is sponsored by Kindred Bravely Kindred Bravely is offering our listeners 20% off your first order when you go to http://KindredBravely.com/SKINNY.   This episode is sponsored by ARMRA Go to http://armra.com/SKINNY or enter SKINNY to get 30% off your first subscription order.   This episode is sponsored by KION Go to http://getkion.com/skinny for 20% off.   This episode is sponsored by Branch Basics  Branch Basics is now available at Target and http://Target.com, making it easier than ever to access safe and effective cleaning products. Whether you're going all-in on safe cleaning swaps or just starting small, find Branch Basics at Target and http://Target.com today.   This episode is sponsored by Hiya Receive 50% off your first order on any of their products. To claim this deal you must go to http://hiyahealth.com/SKINNY.    This episode is sponsored by Ritual  Save 25% on your first month at http://Ritual.com/SKINNY.   This episode is sponsored by Butcher Box As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between free Sirloin Tips, Ground Beef or Chicken Wings in every box for LIFE, PLUS $20 off when you go to http://ButcherBox.com/skinny. Produced by Dear Media

Welcome to the Bostics, starring Lauren Bostic and Michael Bostick. Together, they are the Bostics. So you taught me how to teach my children to master their space. That is a slogan in my home, master your space, don't leave your shit everywhere. You've taught me to do a gratitude practice within my home. Every day, every time we sit down, we do a gratitude practice thanks to you. First of all, thank you so much, you guys. It means so much to me.

This was placed on my heart. I retired at 33. I built a multimillion-dollar media company with my husband. Off the hustle. You know, cold calling Burberry, landed a $5 million deal of why I was breastfeeding. 24 years old, four kids. Wow. Okay?

And I was left out in the world going, God, I got the scholarship. Why am in Las Vegas nightclubs raging? What did I miss in my childhood? And it was the path. I wanted the path. I wanted the living principles. I wanted the identity. I wanted the culture. And I didn't have that. And so I went, wait a second. If I'm a CEO building a company, how is it that sports teams, businesses, we all have, we have a training manual, right? We have the marching plan. Everybody's taken to the same drum. How is it that we're left winging it in our homes? Which causes this

disconnection, this friction, this frustration, this lack of peace. I'm like, I'm not doing it. So what I did is I went on a quest for 15 years, studied with the greats all over the world, studied from Confucius to Socrates to Plato, all of it. Comes down to foundational pillars of the home. The system. The system is what gives you the output to create the results. Humans want structure and they want discipline. So for me, I was like systematically, if I can create this true north in my home, my kids can now vibrate at the same frequency. And that's really what I did. I cracked an entire code. So like the parenting manual, I invented it. And that was really downloaded to me in a dream.

What's it like having four children by the age of 25? Because I didn't have our first child. 24. 24. Yeah. I didn't have our first child. And I said, I like I did it. We didn't have our first child until I was 32.

Is that right? 33. 32. And I had just kind of started to get my shit together around that period of time. So I can't imagine doing that a decade earlier. And not just one, but with four. Right. It was the greatest joy of my life.

There was no love. I get emotional because there was no love deeper than what I felt when I had a child. It was like the first moment of my life to be able to serve something outside of myself at the highest level. It was my number one responsibility and I knew the way I was raised. I was going to shift that legacy. So for me, it was really about tapping into what did the little Lauren want? And if I can facilitate that for this human being, like putting my mind, putting my mind, my inner child, like the work that I needed to do, like I'm healing myself alongside my children.

But at the same time, it wasn't like, what is it like? It was finally, I was in this mindset of there's something that I created that I have an opportunity to nurture, to love beyond myself. And to me, that was the greatest joy. What was it like from, I guess like, I don't know, this sounds strange, just an operational perspective being that young, being responsible to that many children. And obviously growing, you're still kind of a kid at that point. Yeah. And figuring all that out. Like what did it look like then versus now?

Because obviously maybe a lot different. Like I am a I am a get in it warrior person. So like I was labeled the black sheep when I was two years old. I'm like, give it to me. I'll figure out my life. Right. We're raising these entitled kids. If you look at a trust fund kids that gets a handout, right?

They're not fulfilled. You could have all the money in the world. It's the climb. Happiness is in the climb. Happiness is in the resilience and the hard work and building character. So me at 24 years old, I was working on mastering myself. So I started to dive into, okay, triggered. Why am I triggered?

Why is that showing up? Okay, that's something that I need to heal within myself. Okay, loving myself. I got a fluoride scholarship for soccer. I did all the things on paper, but I'm like, I don't even have a relationship with myself. Sabotaging, judging all day. I'm not good enough at this. Perfectionism was the holy grail of my entire existence.

So I'm 24 and I'm going, I can't perpetuate the cycle with my kids. I need to break this. And being in the 24 physical body, I'm not my age. Like, I've always been an old soul. And I was like, give it to me. Let's go. I could do this. Everything was I could do this.

And I think that was the biggest thing that gave me the purpose behind building resilient families and leadership. So if someone's listening and they have children and they're doing gentle parenting, what do you say? Let it rip. Let it rip. You're doing a disservice to the human beings. and they're always going to be in lack and limitation. Why? Why? Because you are not there to save them.

And this is the thing. It's not how are you feeling? When we get aligned in our leadership, when we do the inner work, when we are confident in ourselves, we are leading and guiding another individual on the path of life. Four-year-old shows up, how are you feeling? Let's process your emotions. No, no, no. They're looking for a leader. They don't want, they want black and white. They don't need to process their emotion. So what I have found in this gentle parenting sector is the children are actually the ones that are, being hurt the most. And the reason being is because the characteristics aren't being developed within

them. It's discipline. It's integrity. It's character. So if you're asking a four-year-old, I had actually a client come to me and she said, Lauren, I need you to fix this. And I said, what's up? She goes, I have my four-year-old at the dinner table saying, hey, mom, you're working on this gentle parenting thing. Aren't you supposed to ask me about my feelings? Who? Roll reversal. Power reversal. Kid is now running the show. So what happens? Entitlement, right? This mentality. So that narcissistic, that gaslighting, it's in the gentle parenting sector. When you start having a kid question your authority, and I'm not talking about like, I don't discipline. I don't, you know, use force. I'm very conscious and awake when I discipline, but I discipline with leadership. So what would you say to that? So to my son,

if they, oh, if there was rule reversal. Oh my gosh. I don't even know. I'd probably like, start sweating first. know. But to your point, you know, it's like, and I think there's now maybe been articles or studies saying that we have, we've, there's been a generation raised on this concept of gentle parenting and largely it has not worked. And again, yeah, people could Google this. I was reading something about this. But the way that I see it show up in our lives is, you know, we run a company with a lot of young people. And most of them are very good, especially if they're working here. But there's been instances where people of maybe that generation, and again, I'm not being age, I'm saying,

maybe that were raised in a gentle parenting environment come in. And their expectation is that the job should be set up in a way that satisfied all of their wants and needs. You know that when I started my media company, we interviewed a kid. I'm not kidding you. Out of Notre Dame, he came into the position and he said, my dad told me that I can get $75,000. I said, that's so funny because I started in the mail room. I don't know who your dad is. in what smoke he blew up your ass, but that's not real life. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. Like, this is this whole mentality.

Yeah, well, so either what happened is those people would either not get hired. Right. Right. Or they would come into this environment and be fired very quickly. And where I feel bad for them, again, because I don't necessarily think it's the child's fault. I think if a parent is setting their kid up in a way where they believe that the rest of the world will be gentle with them as they become adults, they're setting that child up for failure because the world is not a gentle place and it isn't and it has never been and I get into this in my system and another

tip Lauren value and contribution never ever ever give your child a handout without them working for something so I always talk about energy in creates the output so the thing is is like back to your point is it's I went to college I went to school and that's all I had to do but when it comes to my home mastering my space making my bed I didn't have to do shit that's not world ready So we're raising world ready humans. That's my entire platform, right? That master themselves from the inside out. So when we go back to self mastery, they've mastered one dimension of themselves.

So it's not even the job. It's not even the job. It has nothing to do with that. They'll never be happy because they always want the easy way out. We need our kids to fall. I put my kids down the slide when they were six months old. The people at the park were like, you're crazy. And I'm like, he'll get right back.

He'll figure it out. Let them fall. Let them go through the pain. Let them go through the suffering. That's where the gold is. And people don't actually realize that. Resilience isn't something that you can buy. Resilience is something that comes from within.

So this resilient mentality is really non-existent in our workforce, especially in the Western culture. I mean, we're looking at, even with our companies, like, they don't like it, they leave. They're not willing to put in the time and the effort to get through that pain. It's uncomfortable. So we want to raise our kids to be able to say, even in that uncomfortability, right?

Even in the mistake, you can figure it out. What do you say to parents that are always saying, careful, careful, I can't stand that. Oh, my God. That's just, that's just, it's just a weak. It's a weak mindset. It's like careful, careful, careful, but about what? It's their own fear that they're inflicting on their child because they're not aligned.

They're projecting. Yes. So if you're aligned, you live from a state of they're going to be okay because you live with confidence. You exude that confidence. When my kids were two years old, two years old, I had my father at my house, I gave him a knife, a Japanese knife, and two years old. And my dad, you're crazy, don't do. And I said, no, no, no, I'm going to teach them the art of cutlery. I'm going to give them the education.

I'm going to give them the why, the deeper understanding of the very thing, so they honor and respect it. You think they went in the kitchen and picked up a, no, they knew the education behind it. And so we talk about successful families. Successful families teach the deeper awareness of why you do the things that you do the things that. you do. You don't just go say make your bed. It's why do you make your bed? What's the life benefit? Oh, the life benefit is that's where you spend half of your life. Great. So honor and respect it with appreciation and gratitude. How old are we making our bed? Like two. My kids started at two. Two. Okay. So literally. We need to be making the bed and two. You sleep in the bed? I have

documentary. Like I literally have footage of my entire system 15 years ago with my kids doing, I call them opportunities. I don't call them chores. Chores is a mundane but necessary task. mundane means finding no joy. So if we're going to amplify the environment of the home, we want to use the right language, casting spells in our environment. So I talk about the law of vibration. Everything you're saying, be careful, lack limitation, scarcity. We're not moving them into abundance. No careful in my house. Did you hear that? There's no more careful. No careful. No, I could say careful sometimes. For sure I do. Especially with my daughter, because I don't want to get hurt. See? Yeah, but see? Let's let's have protected. Come on. I'll let's go down.

Why don't you want your daughter to get hurt? Because I love her. I don't want to get hurt. Yeah, but you can't save her from the world. Sure, no, I know. Listen, I catch myself doing it sometimes. It's just a, it's just a program. It's a thing that you need to break the program. And it's funny when to think about me, like, I knocked my teeth out when I was seven. I had stitches here, here, broke everything. Like, I was like a total mess. So I think I know, I think about that. I'm like, well, I don't want that to happen to her. But you can't protect her from the world to your point. I get it. No, listen, I know it's not perfect. It's a, it's a gut in, it's a gut thing that I do. I have gotten better. I catch myself out. Because I do want her. Okay. So let's work on the reframe. I say we work on the reframe. So instead of saying, we can pick on me after, go.

Okay, so let's, instead of saying careful, we're going to talk about how you. I know, I'm next. Don't worry. Don't worry. We're going to talk about you. So instead of saying careful, let's work on the mindset reframe of how to put her into a leadership and empowerment perspective.

So careful is a band-aid, right? Let's talk about the root of that. So if you work on the reframe, hey, I know the way that you're going to show up right there is for your best self, for your highest and greatest good. Before she steps into the experience, she's now percolated her awareness to go, okay, I'm not being told careful. I can own this and make the right choice. Wait, so what does he say?

I'm going to write, I'm already having. If she's getting into a situation that I know there's going to be some danger. Right, right, right. Build her confidence. You're going to empower her and say, hey, just want to check in. The decision you're about to make is that for your highest and greatest good. And she's like, what do you mean, daddy? And it's like, here's the outcomes, right?

Two paths. This is a path here. You get to make the choice, but I know that you're going to make the right decision. And so you're always working. on that reframe, building her up as a leader, so she's not looking at you for validation. That is what I'm seeing more and more and more is the children are looking at their parents to say, good job. You're amazing. Uh-oh. Here we go. I opened it up. I'm a good job person. They'll bring me like a piece of art and I'll be like, wow, and it's like a line.

Like, I'm bad with it. Okay. So. No, go ahead and write me. apart. No, no, I don't want this to be a couple of show picking each other apart. But I do think like there's, listen. No, this is beautiful because what we're doing is we're transcending and we're elevating. This sounds strange to maybe a lot of parents listening. I praise my children when they deserve praise, but I don't just because they like did something, right? Like I think it's, I want them to feel good and try hard, but I don't want to, like, I don't

think you should say good job if someone brushes their teeth. or if they make their bed. I think there's certain things you just inherently should be doing. Let's take it a lot deeper, though. I want to go way deeper on that because what we're doing is we want our children to master themselves first. So if they master themselves first, they now have a pathway to master life. It's not based on, hey, dad, I lost my job.

Is that okay? No, no, no, no. We don't want that. We want to raise world-ready, thriving human beings that live with meaning and purpose. We are at an all-time high of devastation in our world, and I don't want to scare you guys. Mental illness, anxiety, obesity, it's over. The addictions with digital technology with our kids is more than heroin right now. So what we're doing, it's not good job.

No, you inspire my life. The way that you handled that was really amazing. So you're always taking that energy and having them look within themselves. That's what we want. So with my kids, my kids are now at 24, 22, 15, and 13. They'll say to me, mom, is this good? I'm like, I don't know. You tell me, what are your thoughts?

It's a quick mindset shift, but I'm taking the energy and I'm having them reflect on themselves, right? It's not just about what you validate. They're able to validate themselves. Yeah, because the world is not a pretty place. So my kids will always come to me and say, Mom, can I have this ice cream? Can I have this candy? They always want to know if they can have a certain dessert. How do you keep them in the parameter?

of not going crazy with sugar, what do you do? So I like to, I teach the cancellation formula. And instead of when they come to you and ask you a question, and I just want you guys to start doing this, say, I don't know, can you? Even when they come, they've had 20 different pieces of candy. Okay, buddy? I don't know, can you?

Share with me one life benefit. What does this one thing bring into your life that's good for you, right? Start to elevate their awareness. Because the thing is, is that when you talk about candy, again, candy, I got it. We can't have candy. because candy is messing with the whole. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. This is what this is my problem. So like my kids for instance, like all say have a raw, like have a beautiful organic raw, you know, raw milk smoothie or something, but it's pure. Candy is. So you redirect. Everything is redirect, but it's always a state of consciousness. So, so like you're not going to be there their whole life.

So can they have the candy? First of all, why are they having the candy? Candy is obviously very addictive, right? We want them to start to raise their level of awareness so they know that the decisions that they're making or bringing value to their life. So you could sit there all day and eat 20 bags of skittles when you're not there. But like, that's there's no, there's no parenting there. There's no leadership there. So share with me why you want this piece of candy. Well, I want it because it makes me feel good. It's really sweet. No, no. I want to know what this does for you. Ask them the question.

Have them start to understand the deeper meaning of why they're doing. You know, Lauren, I thought that I was just going to roll over and have these kids and I would be able to kick back and relax. This is a lot of No, no, no. It's like, it's so, it's so much. Well, you know, one thing that we think about a lot is in our lives. And listen, we talked, we grew up in a very nice area in San Diego. And we were around a lot of people with a lot of privilege. And I grew up with some privilege. And I think anyone in that area, like if you grew up in Southern California, you're already in a pretty well off position. But I think about this a lot of time. And sometimes it sounds strange and hits people the wrong way. In a weird way, I almost feel more. for the children that go up with such immense privilege that get given everything by their parents. Because I have seen firsthand the result of the majority of those children.

And in my personal experience, the majority of children that are raised that way end up really struggling later in life, whether they burn down the assets or get addicted to something or don't have self-confidence because they don't feel self-worth because they never built anything on their own. And it sounds strange when you say it to people because I was like, why would you feel bad for somebody who's privileged? Those kids don't get to make that choice. It's largely the parents giving them resources. And the parents do it probably from a good place. Yeah. I mean, I came from a middle class family, like portion the driveway, all the things, but empty on the inside. So what kind of life is that? But on the other side, right? Like it's not about the material

things. It's not about the money. It's about building ourselves. That piece isn't something that you could buy. But my point is is there's, there's, I think, a lot more stories of people that grew up privilege and end up really either miserable, broke or poor because they blow it compared to like people who don't grow up privilege and become successful. I think there's very few people who kids that grow up privilege that end up doing better, like especially if they're just given everything. But you just, what you just did is you just, you expanded the exact conversation because of resilience. Yep. Resilience. They have been developed. They have had to go through the hardships. They have had, that's why gentle parenting. You, you, that child is never going to be

fully fulfilled because that's it's like you know you talk about like Charles Darwin right it's like it's not the ones that survive it's the ones that are most adaptable the people that have to go through these obstacles right that they have to shift into opportunities you hear the guy out of the projects right that made it into the MBA why because they had to adapt and survive that is what we're missing that is what we're missing it's my children are privileged they have not gotten one handout in their entire life do you know that I write comment contracts with my kids since they were three years old. What's the contract?

Okay, so a contract. So, for example, my daughter wants a horse, right? I create a path with her based on my system. So it's an entire gamified system. 180 skills, habits, home, body, mind, kindness, courage, responsibility. Like this thing is, it's the manual to raise a human. We build out a contract. So I go, what are you doing daily to contribute to your home?

What are you doing daily to contribute to whatever? We build it out. So this last horse she did, she committed to doing a lemonade stand every single week. she's 14 years old. She made $500 at one lemonade stand. Wow. She's putting money into the thing that she wants. So I'm not creating this gap of, hey, you just got a horse and in a week, you're mean to daddy. You're mean to mommy. No, no, no, no. This horse is a partnership. I will help and support you. And so will your dad, but you have to bring something to the table of value to get that in your life. So I've been building contracts with them since they were little. What's a three-year-old

contract? So like a three-old, very basic, right? Micro skills. So we talk about like, you know, frontal lobe cortex is it motor skills, all these things. What can they do? They can make their bed. They can be kind. They can do an affirmation a day. Whatever it is, and I have this for all, like, early development, but you build out that agreement with them so they're fully engaged. Children want structure. Every single thing in life comes down to discipline. So what you're doing on a micro level is you're giving them the opportunity to build their value and confidence in a structured way. That's been the most interesting thing for me. watching young children is, and I don't know if this is every parent's experience, but watching

how much they do want structure. Yeah. So I think we get later in life, like, oh, free flow, let it go, but what I've observed with our children is they like when there's a structure and a plan and a routine and a schedule. That's the rhythm. So I talk about the rhythm. So, you know, my whole entire foundation is values, identity, and culture. That is what you're building in your home. The values of what you stand for. What is your family motto? What do you stand for? What's the language you use? What's your identity? What are the habits out there practicing every single day. If they're on digital iPads all day long, might be a little bit of an issue. If they're eating candy all day long, might be a little bit of an issue, right? What's the culture? How do you respect Lauren? How does

Lauren respect you? That's what you're building. Your home is your springboard to your existence. So that's why I talk about mastering space. If you can't master your bed, you can't master your room? Like, are you kidding me? That's a fundamental practice. It's like, it's proven. Like people when they master their space and their space is feng shui, and it's beautiful, they're happier people. Like, it's an energy. So where I get overwhelmed with this is how do I explain to a three-year-old that he needs to make his bed?

I say master your space all day long. We're cleaning up after ourselves. We're picking up the leaves that fall in the middle of the night. He's doing little chores. But how do I explain? Opportunities. Okay. How do I explain to him to make his bed?

Okay. So making your bed. So you're not, I want you to drop into having a conversation around making your bed. So you're asking him, why do you make your bed? Do you love your bed? Right? Yes, I love my bed. Great. Okay, that's amazing. Isn't it amazing that daddy and mommy are able to even give you a bed? This is a sacred thing. This is where you manifest. So I have something called my happy method. And it's the what, how and the why. So I don't just say, you know, what is it? Make your bed. I teach you how to do it. So you're showing them. Right? So you do this experience with him, which then expands his awareness around the micro habit. So show me. I'm going to show you. This is, I love doing this with my kids. How. I make my bed. And they're like, mom, that's so good. I fluff the pillow. I give gratitude. I say an

affirmation. I'm like, now you do it. And I'm like, that's amazing. You're your own person. Now can you do that every day? They're like, yeah, because now I want to do it. They're stepping into intrinsic motivation because they understand the higher purpose. So I'm all about depth, depth in what we're teaching. It's not just a habit. You don't just say go practice gratitude. Why are you practicing? Like gratitude is a skill that you have to work on daily. And it's scientific. typically proven that when you practice gratitude, you're a happier person. Like that has been a foundational pillar in my home. So for him, and I'll give you all this, but we want to ask him like the life benefit around why he's doing the things that he's doing. You're not just putting the

dishes away. When you put the dishes away, you're supporting our house. We're all a team. We're a tribe. We got each other's back. Right. So now what happens? Sense of belonging. Jay Shetty talks about this. I have a role in his book. He talks about this. Humans want a sense of belonging. What happens? empowerment leadership. I am worthy. I am now in this family. I have a role. My mom sees me. I'm doing the dishes. I have pictures of my kids three years old, not saying one word and they're in the kitchen already putting away the dishes. How do you think about discipline and boundaries if you do? Say somebody's not doing what they're supposed to be doing or they're being disrespectful to their siblings or mom and dad. How do you how do you? I'll give an example. My three-year-old,

He hit me the other day. And Michael, in Michael's defense, you immediately came in and said, you don't ever hit your mother. But how can we go with more depth there? Well, he's not, he's not mindful around his action. So we need to create a state of awareness. So this is why I have something called the family operating agreement. I literally have an operating agreement for every single member. Within it is the language of how we speak.

We all sign it, right? You don't touch your mom. He doesn't know. So he's acting out of frustration or he suppressed something and he's using it as a way to deflect that because so we need to get him into emotional intelligence where he's embodied. He was not about having to take a bath or something. He's mad. And it's not his fault because he's trying to figure it out. So it's like, hey, here's the boundaries.

This is not what we do. So in terms of discipline, like when I say my boy's name, they say yes, mom. Like it is. And if they don't? It's just it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. And the reason being because I'm in my power. So it's like these are the values.

Should you're outside, you know, you fall outside the path. I call it reshift. We will be reshifting. So this is within my system. So reshift is a part of the discipline. That was out of alignment with our core values. How would you like to reshift now within the eight pillars of my system? How do you want to bring contribution to the home?

You know what? I want to go clean mommy's car out for her as an act of kindness. Okay, great. So you make, there's a consequence. Yes. But it's interesting that you say this. So my mom growing up was strict when I was a kid. I remember like no elbows on the table, open the door for women, pull the chair out.

If you're out at a grown-up dinner, it's like speak but don't, seen but not heard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Adults sit over there. And people ask me like, oh, how did, and I said, they said, well, what would you do if you, like, you know, talk back to your mom or did that? And I was like, you just didn't. I don't know. I don't know why when I was a kid. I just knew not to do it.

Right. And I think that. But were you of the generation? Like, I was soap in the mouth, spanking, grounding. I don't want to put my parents on blast too much. but my dad was, you know, when my dad had me, he was 42 years old. Okay, so he's just like, yo, just shut up. He grew up in a different time.

I think he used to take a horse to work. A whole different deal. And so I was, yeah, soap in the mouth or worse. And I don't know if that's good or not, but the point is, is I knew that there was boundaries. Right. That were just like, don't cross. Don't cross. Like they always say.

It was like the word of God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's a phase two that you do not want to mess with. Like if my, you know, if I was doing something as a kid and I heard my mom say like, I'm going to go get your dad. I was like, oh my God. Yeah. How can we? I don't want you to be overwhelmed either.

I'm not overwhelmed. I'm excited about it. This is my work for the past 15 years and I've discovered it. You guys tried, tested and true in a lab coat. I would run into my kitchen and go, how the fuck did I just get them to make their bed? They're making their bed. Like I was losing my mind. This is wisdom in real life that I'm sharing with the world.

I don't say that these days now that you maybe didn't have the abilities or leeway or flexibility that my dad and mom had with me because a different time. Right. And parents are sitting there and maybe their kids are misbehaving. They're being disrespectful. They're not doing what they should. They're talking back to mom and dad. How would you work with those kinds of parents to help them get their kids to be more

respectful, be more kind, not act out? So like respect is a big one that comes up. And like, I mean, I have people all around. the world. I have over 36 countries that are within my membership. Okay. And I'm getting stuff left and right. And the biggest thing is the respect issue is your, your word and your tone. So I had a lady other day. This is a really good example. So I'm on my live, the global live that I do. And she's like, my kids keep talking back to me and I don't know what I go. Do you hold a standard? How many times do you say something to them? She's like, oh my God, probably 50 times. I go,

you're not respected. Your word doesn't hold weight. Respect is not given. Respect is earned. So you say once you hold the standard. Right. So it's like it's like that presence and you're you're you're as a parent like think about leaders like the best leaders in the world like what it do they keep nagging and repeating themselves you you're leading and creating identity of another individual that will one day be an adult. If they don't respect you the person that brought them into the world it's not something you fix like with a bandaid it's something that needs to be worked on every single day, but the values have to be there. If my son were to lay a hand on me, it's like

lights out. Mom's going into phase two. I'm Argentinian. Like, what's happening? You don't bully, you don't bully anybody. What do you do? So in that moment, you go eye to eye and say, hey, you're out of bounds. That will not happen again. And should it happen again, there is a consequence to your choice right there. You have two choices. But you got to hit that head on. So a lot of these parents that I'm dealing with, I mean, this has been 15 years. Their kids are now teenagers. It's hard to change that then. It's like 15 years. They're now a teenager. slamming doors in the face. I mean, you're, you, the biggest thing is within the home is that's why I talk about the

culture. They have to honor and respect you through your aligned leadership. If you are not working on yourself and practicing confidence yourself, how can you raise a kid that has confidence? No, it's really, it's really hard as a parent to hold the boundary. No, but it's, I mean, if we, if we have, if we have any issue at all with our children, it is the The one issue is, and I think this is hard for any parent, it is hard to establish a boundary and then actually enforce and hold the boundary.

So the biggest thing you just said it, and this is like for every single listener out there, if I could tell you one thing today, that's a nugget, is your follow through is the most important thing you can ever do as a parent. If you say, I'm going to take that away, you go fucking take it away. If you do not do that, slowly you're disrespected. It just keeps, it's like your tank keeps going full. So I remember when I was young, it's like you're grounded, right? You're grounded. After two days, I was out doing whatever. So if you, your follow through in your leadership is the most important thing you can do as a parent. So that's where that gentle parenting thing and like, I don't even know. There's so many different, like when I go on podcast, I don't, gentle parenting is one. There's another one like conscious parenting, whatever. I'm conscious, but I'm a badass warrior standing for conscious leadership, but raising a human at the same level of, This is your life.

You get to make the choices, choices and consequences, right? I really feel that the, like, the main problem with parents is their second guessing. You know what's right for your child. It's this relationship that you're having within yourself where you're like, I don't want him to be mad at me. I don't want to, I don't want him to, it's, you can't live in that. You can't be in neutral in your leadership. They have to know the boundary exactly like as hard as it was for you as a child.

You knew the boundary with your parents. And that's what we're missing. So can I pick on Lauren now for a little? Yeah. So I will admit, I'm getting better. I was a lot softer on my daughter. She was the first one we have, is our daughter. Because I never had, I thought, I was like, okay, I don't, I never had a daughter.

Obviously, and I'm not a woman myself. So I'm not a woman myself. We took a family vacation and he's learning how to swim without a floaty. Okay. And so I'm working on that and making him swim. How old is he? He's four. No, he's not quite four.

He's about to be four. So he's learning and he's doing. Yeah. But she's in the corners and after he cries and it's it. Why is he crying? Because he doesn't want to swim without a floating. So he's learning. And she goes, come to mommy.

Come to mommy. Oh, no. I'm like, kiss and snuggle mama. No, no. But what I tell. But I will take it to. Like reattaching me and building. vocal cord and breastfeeding him.

I will take it a step further. It's like, what do I? I think young men need to, you want to raise strong sons. But what I will also say is I have a lot of guys that I know in our personal life who have been babyed by their mothers their entire life. And I think what happens later in life is they have weird relationships with women, right? They expect to be. I was literally just going to say that.

They have, they expect to have that same kind of relationship. ship to be coddled. They have intimacy issues. It's like complete bypassing. Yeah. And I think sometimes like and so what I tell Lauren all the time is you don't like the long term effect of babying specifically a young boy from a mom too much is later in life. He's going to have a weird dynamic with strong women. Yeah. And you're basically forecasting a future where this this person is going to be expect love at all levels of their life. So him coming out of the pool, you're in your strength. You're like, what you just did there was so amazing with Daddy. You should be so proud of yourself.

Oh, I got a lot of work. Can you put me in your pocket, please? I know. Let's be miced up. I'm going to mic you up. I'm very aware that there's a lot of women that listen to this that will not be happy with that statement that I made. But I'm, I just am very strong with my perspective on this as it relates to the young women because I have too many guys, like I said, that I know that got that experience. others that didn't. And the long-term effect, like, we all know the type. The long-term

effect of a grown man who's been babied by his mother, his whole life, is not a great look for that. Yeah, but think about the women they're attracting. But that's what I'm saying. Do you know what I'm saying? Like my husband, I've been married to my husband for 16 years. It was like, you will never ever tell me what to do. You will never, I'm me. You're you. Right? I came in from this place of like, I know my identity. I'm attracting a man that's supporting my vision, my mission. who I am as a woman. So all these guys are attracting are these soft women, okay. They can't handle a woman like me or like Lauren probably, right?

But you have to think of it. Like fast forward from a man's perspective. Like even I have three sons. Like I have taught them that their work ethic, the foundation of values, who they are as an individual, their character is the most important thing. So my son's like 22 and he's so scared to bring someone into. my field because he knows that I have a certain standard. So if this chick is on Snapchat all day, if she's doing throwing, if she's whatever, no, you got to bring value into my son's life.

Like I'm that, right? So it's like, it's like we're looking at it from a place of going, okay, what is success to us? What is character development? What? When you're talking to your son coming out of the pool, he did an amazing job, but we want him to start to master himself. And I think the biggest thing, it's not coming from a lack of because you want to nurture him, but he's now at the level where he needs to realize it's not just crying. No, throw him in the deep end. Some people aren't going to like this. But I'm like old school meets new school, right?

Like get him into a place of uncomfortability. That's what you want. You want them. Like I remember my kids when they, you know, people always say like, Lauren, my kid will only eat mac and cheese. I'm like, how did this happen? Like how is the kid running the show at four years old and will only eat mac and cheese chicken nuggets and pizza? So what do you do about that?

a picky eater. I'm sure there's lots of people that have picky eaters. That's just a label. Okay. That's a label. Got it. So take him to the story. Say you're the chef. Teach him the elements of the rainbow. Show him the produce. You are the chef. Make it. I have people that have had this that have transcended the whole experience. Why? Because the child now has a sense of belonging. They're taking ownership of the experience. Mom and dad aren't just taking a plate and putting it there and saying, eat it all. Like, we're doing too much. Well, that's the other thing. We're doing too much. The more you're talking, the more I'm like, am I just like too much? But Yes.

Like my, when I order food or make food for the kids and they don't eat it, if they don't want to eat it, that's their choice. But there's not like another option coming to satisfy them after. Right. What I ate for dinner if I didn't eat what was on the plate for me when my parents cooked was sleep. Right. And also like, I didn't get it.

I didn't go and like create a new meal for me. I just knew that like dinner time I ate. Oh, I'm giving them butter toast. Well, I need, I need to, I need to, I need to, I need to, can I come and stay with you guys for a little bit? Sure. Well, sure. You know, I think that this is, I think that.

No, but I'm saying, you said it perfectly. Stop doing so much. Back off. Back off. You guys go home tonight. You're not going to make dinner. Do you want me to be really honest? Yeah, let's go. In front of the audience. Okay, go.

The reason that I feel like I maybe overcompensate, if you want to call it that. Okay. With, you know, making things comfortable is there's an element. And I've talked about this on the show before of guilt. I feel that there's a guilt that comes. with a mother that works a lot. I work very, I work a lot. And there's something that makes me feel guilt.

Oh, I'm just going to go right away. I know. I can't wait. That's why I'm going to use myself. Yeah, but that's your own personal guilt, though. I know. I feel like I need to be snapped out of it. But you're in your own matrix. So what you're doing is you're carrying this program

and the wound is probably from your childhood. So we need to break that, right? So you're carrying that into your leadership with your kids. You are worthy of living your most incredible life and using your unique abilities to create. contribution in the world. Women are worthy of that. But here's the thing that you're doing is you have this lack of worthiness within yourself and you're using it in a way in your home to overcompensate. And what you're doing is you're actually hurting your kids. You can work.

Absolutely. But guess what? When you come home, digital in a box. They've got you 100%. There's no TV on. You're down on the floor. It's hard. I'm not going to say it's easy. I'm not going to say it's easy you guys there's no magic pill to parenting I worked 24 seven 24 seven I was up in the middle of the night doing closing deals all guess what when I was with my kids it was locked in on a level that they only needed me for two hours because my attention I was listening to every word it wasn't distracted listening it was conscious intentional listening so that lack of worthiness is overcompensated let me cook you another meal you don't like those chicken nuggets okay here we no no no when I come into the kitchen this is a sacred

space for me to cook, to build culture for our family, I'm going to cook the most amazing meal, but you're intentional with them. Cook with me, be with me. It's not the hours that you spent. It's the intentionality you put into those micro moments with them. What you just said within that, as it, that there's no magic pill and that it's all hard. I think one of the- hard in like a bad way, in a good way, yeah. But what I think like for the parents out there, sometimes people will see this kind of content or listen and they get, they kind of get, personally riled up and offended. Oh, yeah.

And I know you experienced this because they feel it's like it's an attack on them. It's not. And the point is is that disciplining your children is very hard. Setting boundaries is really hard. Being on the same page with your spouse. It's all, this is not easy. The easier thing is to do, you know, is to not set the boundary and to let him feel, you know, to make them feel better in the short room and the long run.

But I think what I like what you're saying is trying to build one. world ready kids. I think about that so much because by the time they're 18, they're out into the real world and there's people that are animals out there. Like this is not a friendly world. And if you think it is like, how are you preparing your child to deal with that? And what you don't want to do is be like, didn't you have such a great childhood? But now you're set up to have such failure because you don't have the foundational tools to be an adult in a tough space. And to to share with you like I don't my kids issues, I have never. I've never called a T. They have private teachers. So we travel all around the world. I hire a private staff. They customize their

education. It's like a homeschool situation? But we have private teachers that build with their curriculum. So my daughter right now is building a brand. She's 15 years old. She's doing the P&L. She's doing the Excel grid. Like I'm world ready. Like how do I prepare you? She has an issue. I don't call the teacher. I've never ever once since they were five. Call it. Talk. What's your challenge? Use that throat chakra. Open yourself up. Share your voice. So I'm not coming in. feel overwhelmed to talk? Well, it's a suppression.

So we need to give them space. And I think that's a really good point. I want everyone to listen to this. You know, like, when you go, when you, like, meet someone and you're like, you over-talk your kid. Oh, his name is Ryan. Say thank you. Say a pre-no.

If it takes them five minutes, it takes them five minutes. Give them the space to start to step into their power. And I really think this is what's happening, too, with this generation of parents. And, like, you know, what you're saying is, is it's like, We're in the due constantly. Like we have 500 things going on in our mind and we're moving so fast. If we take our foot off the acceleration and we allow our kids to step into their greatness without us meddling in, saying their name, say thank you. They step into it.

It's not on our clock, though, you see? So like my son, when I adopted him when he was four, Brad would always say his name. And I'm like, no, let him say his name. And he's like, yeah, but he'd take it. I don't care. If it takes 10 minutes, if it takes 15 minutes, guess what? He was hiding behind Brad's leg at four years old. Wouldn't come out.

Hiding in the bush. Once I started to empower him, he started to trust himself. So how would you empower him? So just in that instance, like, I completely abolished. You are not allowed to talk over our kids. You're not. You're not allowed to order for them. You're not allowed to say their name.

You're not allowed to say, think, like, because he went from unconscious to conscious, like when he met me. And our story is, it's won by God. But I was like, empower them, empower them to step into their greatness. You don't even realize that you're talking over them. So now they're stifled. They can't even share their own name. He's been doing it for four years without consciously being aware of it.

So guess what? Ryan started to step up a little bit. He came out a little bit more. Over time, it ended. So don't micromanage every interaction. No, that's helicopter parenting. You got to get out of that. So don't be like, say please.

No. What do you say? No, these are a value system. Remember, proactive state, not reactive. So the proactive mother would say, in our family, we say please and thank you when someone does something kind. Right. Good girl. That's it. Right there. So you're sitting the kids tonight. You're like, hey, just so you know, I'm not going to remind you anymore, but this is a value and standard that we hold in our home. When you meet somebody and go around the table, say, how would you say it? How would you say it? Okay, great, got it. That is culture. It's not after the fact. Say, thank you. they don't have any meaning or attachment to it. They're just robotically saying it because mom said to say it. We want them to start becoming aware of what they're saying and how it has an effect and impact on people, right? Isn't that why we want them to say thank you?

Do you have these rules written out for your family? Or is it just you talking to that? This is the wisdom that's lived within me. And so I built my entire system. So like scripts, family operating agreement. So the system is an actual profile that goes into your home. It's an entire gamified system that I've built. We can talk about it later.

But basically, they own their own profile with all these micro skills and habits. I don't talk about rewards. I don't talk about you get money. It's basically a gamified structure because when you're in the play state, you learn three times faster intrinsic motivation. You know, companies are doing this within organizations now. So I built this out for the home. So the kids are stepping into action because they want to.

It's not because you have to. And that's the biggest thing that I've seen with is chores mentality. I have a video going viral right now. Let me ask you guys a question. And this is just me just doing content, like saying just the truth. You pay for your kids everything. They have a roof over the head. They have food.

They have bed. They have sheets. They have toothbrush. They have all the things. But you're going to pay them $5 to take out of the trash of take out the trash in your home. And they live there. Like, does that make sense in your brain? No.

When you say it like that, it doesn't. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, like, wait, this is so skewed because. Contribute to the team. Contribute to the team. You own this week taking out the trash for our team. And once we all hit this goal together, we're going to celebrate. No digital distractions.

You guys do something as a family. We're paying them to do a chore to take out the trash for the family. Like it's so not right. So my whole thing is like teamwork, we always say like, teamwork creates the dream work. And once you give the child their role in responsibility, they step into it. So you talk about helicopter parenting, not micromanaging. Micromanaging, a kid does not want a boss.

Do you want someone hovering over your shoulder 24-7? No. So proactive state is giving them the system, the infrastructure, the identity, the culture. Now they could tick to the rhythm. But it sounds like what's core to a lot of what you do is you explain the why behind everything. So that they understand the reason. The deeper meaning. It's like, you know, even with little pleases and thank you, they understand the reason they would say that to a person.

Yeah. And the reason that they would take the charge. And actually, like, it's how humans are wired. So when we have control of an experience, it actually creates a dopamine effect within the body that creates a reward loop for you to go back to that action. This is scientifically proven. So what you're doing is you're raising their level of awareness, but you're giving them control because they have a deeper understanding, which creates that reward loop. So, for instance, tonight if I go home and we decide to go over our new family dynamic. She's taking this moment.

I'm going to say, processing. When we meet someone, we look them in the eye, we shake their hand, and we say, hello, my name is Tate. sounds nice to meet you. That's it. And so we start, we start telling them sort of like the ethos. But you get you take it a step beyond and you tell them why you're doing that. Yeah. And also too, think about this. You're saying here's the standard that we have as a family, right? And you're sharing it with them. Let's say they didn't do it. That's okay. You address them by saying, remember when we talked about the standards and the values of our family of how we represent ourselves. You have something now to go back to. You have a backbone. Do you do it every time?

You're going to have to. It's repetition until they get it. 22 days to form a habit. six days for it to become behavioral. This is repetition. That's why I talk about micro. That's not helicoptering to then go in. So the value and the standard, right? So, hey, saw you're a little out of alignment there. You know our values as a family.

You now have something to back you up. You know what that gives you? You're not second guessing anymore. You're not winging it. You have standards and you're setting the identity and the culture. So now even if they don't do it, you go back to the family operating agreement and go, hey, guys, remember we went through this. Let's have a family meeting.

We were out of balance today. Should that happen again, here's the choices and consequences to that. What are some family, like a family mission statement that you've seen be really successful? I mean, for ours, and this is just growth mindset, so basically my entire system, personal development, peak performance growth mindset, because I believe everything starts in the mind. So our family model is there's no problems. There's challenges and we find solutions. That's a good one.

You like that? Everything in life is an opportunity for us to grow, learn, and elevate. Family motto. So my kids, go back to the family motto. everything's an opportunity for us to grow, learn, and elevate. It didn't work out that way. How can you grow, learn and elevate? So, like, the motto is, like, as if it was, like, your mission statement, again, for an

organization, an NFL team. Like, when you go in the locker room, you see these, the signs are everywhere. Dana White. Yeah. We interviewed him. And his mottoes are all over his gym because he said he wanted to remind himself every day when he's working out. It's that programming.

Yeah. You're instilling that programming in your. your kids. That's why I talk about affirmation, affirmative player. I am. My kids have had affirmations in their room ever since they were babies. I am strong. I am powerful. I can overcome obstacles. Like you're programming this growth mindset in them. So when they fall victim to whatever circumstance in life, they don't feel sorry. They build themselves back up. These are all micro skills and habits. You know, Dana White, I'm sure, like, even listening to this would be like, that lady, that lady. He would like it. You guys would get along just fine. Yeah, he would like it.

What is some of the most common things that parents are coming to you to help them with? So fully loaded. I think the biggest thing that I would say is I want my kids to be happy and I'm fucking them up. And how are they fucking them up? Or they just say that and they don't know what? They don't have the tools. They don't, they don't. They're trying.

You guys, it's not for a lack of love. It isn't. But we can't love. I have no doubt about that. We can't love the same way. I think all the things we're talking about parents are doing this with the best intentions. It's not, yeah, it's not for a lack, but it's like you can't parent in today's world without a foundational backbone to your family. We are up against so much.

Our kids are growing up in a time right now where there's more distractions, more things coming at them. Look at us. We're working. Like, you have to have a backbone. So I would say, I mean, that's. No, but to your point, the only thing that kind of infiltrated the family when we were all growing up was either other kids at the school or maybe things you saw on television. Yeah. Right.

we did not grow up with these devices where the world had direct access. It's a complete portal. Yeah, and we didn't have that portal to see all. I mean, like, and for the younger generations or parents, like, it is really crazy to think about that fact. I mean, we got a family, remember the family computer? Yes. Where you'd like all share one computer dial up. Like AOL.

Yeah, yeah. But now I think what children have to deal with is they have, you know, you would leave school back in the day. and you wouldn't think about... You could disconnect. Now it follows you home, especially if we talk about this with bullying. Like, you know, bullies follow kids home now. Also, just the amount of information.

And so if you're a family with a value system and you're constantly having the world kind of like pull you out of that value system, it's really, I think it's harder for parents now than it's ever been. The one thing that I'm seeing the most, the most, we're at a critical mass because they're trying, but it's continuing. So they have no peace.

So like I have people, CEOs, okay, they've got business on lock. They're amazing at their companies, but they're afraid to go home. So it's like, what kind of life is that? Like they literally don't want to come home because their kids are teenagers. They know there's going to be a blowup. It's like first thing is the family. You know what I mean? Like you're creating a business, but you life into, it's our legacy.

Like we are not leaving here with a U-Haul. We're not leaving here with the things. What you're leaving is your legacy and that's your family identity. so a lot of these parents are struggling with my kids addicted to video games. Kate, you got to unplug it and throw it in the trash. You might not like that. He might kick and scream, but that's your legacy. It's like that important as a responsibility that people don't fully, I don't think they're

awakened to yet. How horrible is it to have parents who are on the phone in front of the children? Again, like standards. So like for business, for example, like, hey, this is a business. call give me five minutes once you do the phones turned off so it's a matter of like your kids don't listen to what you say they mimic what you do so so what you're saying is when they see parents it's acceptable it's acceptable to them so it's like oh mom's scrolling i can scroll 24-7 my kids didn't get phones till they were 16 i've never had one video game in my house they only watch positive content like i am strict on every single thing for our home environment you know it was just i was on a podcast cocoa melon i mean it's a complete sci-op it's a brainwashing sigh up on your children Like, there is an agenda behind all of this stuff. And it's to keep us distracted.

Yeah, on that particular show, when we first became parents that said, like, you know, you didn't know anything and you turned it on. And then I saw a few of the episodes and watched it. You're just like, what is this? We're doing Rugrats. Like, none of the children get to watch those kind of things. Like, literally watching it. Like the mindless high stimulus.

We go back to the 90s cartoons here. We do have an affirmation around that. We are a low frequency show family. Good. That's low frequency. But also, like, are you watching? the content, like, that's another thing is what's the challenge with parents is I can't get my kids off these devices. It's like, before you allowed your child to watch that show, did you

actually watch the show? Did you see what they're watching? Program. Remember? Like, television program? They're programming you. So your child is picking up these habits by the content that they're watching. They think it's acceptable. It becomes normal to them. So now this child's been watching this YouTube show about this influencer that does do-da-da-da-da-da. Guess what? That's his tour. That's who he's going to mimic. So it's not what you say. They're mimicking what you're doing. So like boundaries. Like I always call it like we have a digital cleanse in our house, for example. Like we're all psycho. We're all, you know, working all of our kids. But we say digital cleanse. Everything, no one has a phone. Put it down. Digital cleanse. We go on a nature walk. It's a standard. So it's like,

it's not, I don't mean cut it all out. But I mean on the nature walk, no phones. No phones. So leave it at home because I want to show the kids that I can unplug too. If I can't unplug myself, how do you I think the kid is, yeah, like you can't have that expectation. Like people say, I want my kid to be positive. I'm like, okay, so how do you talk to yourself? How do you talk to your husband? What do you say? I say I'm not good enough all day long.

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What kind of pushback do you get? Or I guess what do people maybe get the most riled up about when it comes to your content? Oh, gosh. I activate. I say things that people won't say in the parents. parenting space and that's why I'm doing this because we have to wake up. So which of those things have hit the biggest nerves? I say one of the viral videos that I have right now is stop letting your kids treat

your home like shit. If you read the comments, it is absolutely disturbing. Like people are justifying that their kids get straight A's and they can leave trash and moldy rappers in their room. They're literally justifying it in the comments. I will tell you though where it's coming from. I figured it out. Oh, tell me. Where it's coming from is that some of these people have 12, 13, 14, even 18, 20, 25 year olds, even adult kids. And they see another way for it to be done. Yeah. And when they see another way, it makes them start questioning themselves. That's good. This is about, I've learned this with a lot of health, wellness, all these controversial subjects.

When they see a different way, it makes them look in the mirror at themselves. And then they start questioning, should I have done it another way? Right. And instead of looking in the mirror and taking accountability, they project onto you. So you can't take a person. No, but also too, here's what's really cool. This is what I love is I'm not just for women. I have dads. I have UFC fighters. Penelope Cruz follows me. I have people all the way down to welfare. These people are ready for this. Like this is a new state of awareness that I'm bringing. I'm like the Lutheran pastor. Like who wants to, why do you think people haven't tackled parenting

before? Like some people have dove, you know what I mean? Like some content. You got conscious parenting. I'm I'm coming at it from a whole different thing. I'm coming out of it from family dynamics, leadership, identity, culture. It's like Tony Robbins of like what parenting is. Well, I think people are ready for it because we have enough data now over the last call it two decades of maybe being too permissive, too gentle, too accommodating.

And the manifestation of that is more depression, more issues, more addiction, more largely unhappy humans. Humans. You know, 92% of people walking around are not happy. That means that only 8% of people are actually live with meaning every single day. And that's literally my fight. If I can wake up more kids, teach them how to be happy, master themselves, build the confidence and strength and give parents the freedom to reclaim their power and build an

incredible legacy, I'm going to fight. Well, I also think like this idea that, and this is going to sound really, like, kind of, like, aggressive to say. Say it. I think the idea that, like, happiness is the first thing we're trying to solve for. For children is the wrong thing to solve for. Exactly.

Because you don't get to control that as a parent, right? Like, I don't, I hope my kids are happy. I hope we create an environment where they become happy adults. But I don't have enough of an input where, like, my force is going to dictate their happiness. I believe happiness comes from the person from within. And if you're not a capable person that's able to handle the world and the things that the world throws at you, I think that is what makes people unhappy.

I also think that when you have a situation, again, going back to coddling, when you, when you coddle someone over and over and over, what you're really telling them is that you don't believe in them. Thank you. And if you don't believe in them. How are they supposed to believe in themselves? Yes. And then you can't be happy.

And they pick up on that. Like children know if their parents truly believe if they're capable or not. And trust them. And that brings up such a solid point because, you know, I talk about happiness. My system is called the happy life system. but my spin on happiness is the mud and the murk to get to the lotus. Like the lotus doesn't become a lotus without the swamp. Think about that.

Like in parenting and in human development, the child has to go through the murky moments. So if he's in the pool and you're like, oh, it's okay, baby, come on, let me, let me get you anything you want. He doesn't actually learn from that experience. It's like you went right in and gave him your confidence to fill his cup up. We want to, we want him to sit there and say, cry it out. What do you, what do you think about this? Have him process that moment and say, you know what?

I want to celebrate you for going deep within yourself. What you just did was incredible. What's it called second order? You know? So what I think is as it relates to the swim example, in the short term, you're saying, you know, they come here. But what you're really telling him is I didn't believe you could do it in the first place. That's good. And so what it does is subconsciously over time, it indicates to that person like, oh, mom and dad don't believe that I'm capable. That's good. And I think that nails their self-esteem over time. What has been your most viral video? So can I just tell you guys this? In the last 30 days, well, so I've been on social media. My Instagram account has been 11 months and I have over 285 million views. You got to get her a podcast

right away. Yeah. So we have to do that. Let's go. So what's really interesting. We need a book. Is it's all over. I've got $7 million, $6 million. The morning routine. Yep. Morning routine. And this to me is the way I've been living you guys for 15 years. Give us the morning routine. 15 years. So I'm thinking it's basic. Like again, you know, we're talking about trust is these micro moments, these micro habits, everything. I believe habits is a religion, and that might be controversial, right? You can't go to church on Sunday and say, take all my problems away. No, no, no. It happens every single day in the micro moments. So it's identifying those habits that keep you anchored. So morning routine in our home is literally, there's not one

digital device. We all wake up. We all master our space with love and gratitude. Well, I'm sleeping in a little bit more now. My kids have been waking themselves up since they were like six years old. So what time? So Peyton has class at eight. So she gets a lot. gets up at seven, feeds the horses, does everything. So she's ready by eight. Okay, so tell us the morning routine at your house. Okay, so here's the morning routine. So morning routine is, and again, anchors and pillars.

I want you guys to start thinking about this tonight. What are the anchors and pillars? I believe the morning foundation sets you up for the entire day. Period. Messy bed, messy mind. Made bed, clean mind, right? So we're working with energy here. So morning, wake up, all my kids purify their space.

So that's, I'm not talking about like making their bed. I'm talking about like hotel make their bed. That's how much intentionality is in my home. So it's like fluff it, love it. They put their stuffed animals. Thank you so much. Talk the sheets in nice and crisp. Well, like, like my daughter, for instance, she's going to be 16.

And I'm like, God, you make your bed better than a 40 year old because we took the time to teach her the art of making her bed. I still make my own. You know my only. Lauren will not let me touch our bed. I don't want him to touch the bed. She won't let me participate in the making. No, because it's ritualistic to me. Yeah, but you also need to show the boys that you're a partnership.

So even if it's a partnership. bothers you even if it bothers you let me touch a sheet let him do that let him do the pillows at least let me like give him a V give him a nice V let me chop the partnership partnership connection you're teaching them teamwork remember we're moving into teamwork here okay so even that's good you just got a messy mind for like 10 years now you broke the pattern so you're making okay so we make our beds everybody makes their beds purifies their space then we purify our body so the body pillar in my system is pillar number two master of your health

Not go brush your teeth. We brush our teeth. Why do we brush our teeth? Fungus bacteria. We tongue scrape. It's a habit. Like you can't be chasing your kids down to brush their teeth. Bacterias in your mouth.

Like we have to kill the bugs. We want to purify it. Everybody brushes their teeth. Then we get into the shower. We all purify our bodies in the morning shower. Like water is the most healing thing. It's in the quantum field. But we won't get into that.

So everybody's doing that. After that, we all do our affirmations. Mind pillar. Master of your thinking. grounding in the growth mindset, peak performance, personal development. Number one, how are we honoring ourselves? Three things are grateful for about yourself. All my kids.

What are three things are grateful for? My eyes, my legs, gratitude and appreciation. It's a skill. It's a practice. After that, we all do our gratitude journals together as a family. This has been 15 years straight. Everybody does a gratitude journal. Everyone does gratitude journal.

Then we go and do supplements, mastery of our health, green juice. We take our supplements, our spirulina, beef liver. It doesn't sound crazy, though. It's 15 minutes. All the things that we recommend and talk about on this show that adults are trying to do. Yeah. And I want to tell you this because my whole, it's like I talk about kids in parenting, but really I have grandparents in my membership. Like I'm really for everybody with what I've done, but my biggest thing is children and families. This is actually, this shows you how important this is.

So I rebound every day. We have a massive trampoline and we jump on the trampoline. So I've been doing this, you know, just it's my habit. And then I do my Tai Chi, all things. Guess what started happening. My son is 13 and he's watching me do this for years. So I'm outside and I'm doing my Tai Chi and I look over. Parker started rebounding. I didn't say it. I didn't say go and rebound. It's now part of his system.

He has not stopped doing this for a year. And it was because he watched me and I do it every single day. So it's like those habits. If you pick up your phone and you start scrolling in the morning, right? You're creating that identity in your home. So it's protect and anchor the kids first. Like I know it's a fully loaded. Whenever I go on the.

shows, people are like, okay, Lauren, what do I do? But it's not, this is not, this is 15 minutes. But what's, what's, what I'm saying is, so we've done this show for a long time. And we talked to primarily obviously adults that are looking for routines and healthy habits and tools that many people like yourself are coming on and sharing with them. But it's all focused towards them as adults. It's the same thing. Like, I started working out when I was very young. And so it's an easy habit to carry forward for the rest of my life. What I think is harder is if I never did that as a kid and then you become a 40-year-old man. you're like, I got to get in the gym for the first time.

It's really hard to build that habit. And remember, the mind likes to stay comfortable. Sure, but I mean. It's so much harder as an adult than it is as a kid. They already have the programming. I say life off the board. It becomes their lifestyle. But starting a gratitude journal as a young person

and carrying it through your life. Because a lot of people come to us later in life and are listening to the show and they're starting to implement cold plunges and so on this. But it's after 25, 35, 45, 45 years of habit. Of bad habits. I know. So after supplementation, what is it? So after we do our supplementation, that's,

So it's like five micro skills and habits that we've been doing for 15 years. And so that's the foundation. Then my kids go with their teachers. I mean, I, you guys, I don't manage their schedule. We have, they manage their entire life. And is it called homeschooling or private teaching? What is it? I call it life school.

And I've identified it as life school because I'm raising world ready humans. So like my entire teachings in my system is the school for character and life development. Like that's what I built. Because here's what's interesting is my kids went to Waldorf. They went to Montessori. Have you guys heard of these schools? Yeah, sure. And then they went to a school called Cardin Hall in Newport.

And the key thing that was missing is their character development. They're focusing on science, math, and all of these things. But the character development. And that's where I saw the gap where I was like, oh, whoa, they don't know who they are. They don't have identity. They're not building a culture for themselves of confidence in all of these things. It's all based on the logical aspect of their life, which is getting a good, And that was 15 years ago when I manifested obviously and created what I did.

But I was like, their identity starts in the home. How long is the school every day? No. No, they go, my kids go Monday, Wednesday, Friday. They have two hours with their teacher outside of that. They have their life work. Their life work is turned into their teacher. Not to me, not to Brad, not to anybody.

They manage their entire life. So like, the thing that I wanted to do is I wanted my kids to love learning. And in my life, I was the kid at school that was always in detention. I was a black sheep. I was throwing markers. I didn't want to be there. I'm a creator. And I couldn't express myself.

They put me behind a desk for six hours a day. That sounds familiar. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, he does. I had so many detentions that I had to convert them to Saturday schools. And so many Saturday schools. Same. Thank God they had soccer.

Because that was like my only outlet at the time. My life was school and soccer. Like, that's all I could do. So what I wanted for my kids is I wanted to create all these different aspects of their life. So like when they were little, I hired private chefs and I brought private chefs into my home. They went to the farmer's market. They cook the meal with the chefs.

They were taught seven different ways to cook food. That is a life skill. Like that's a life skill right now. Do you know how many kids can't even cook an egg and they're 21 years old? They don't even know to make a cassidia. Let me ask you this. On the school front, now that sounds like two of your kids are grown and out of the house, two of them are still with you.

Yeah. If you had, say, had your first kid today knowing everything you know what kind of school system would you put them in mine what i what i've built because i feel like it's and we're going through this examination and i just will caveat that you know we've tried different things we've met a lot of incredible teachers oh wait but i wasn't going to tell you about that not to interrupt it i went to waldof i went to monosurray that's what i want to know it was i had to pull them out after two months because it was the it's the wrong system so for example waldof i loved the idea that they were working on you know

nurturing them where it was like so much nurturing. I walked into kindergarten and my son was getting a massage with lavender essential oils because he fell off the slide. I was like, okay, this is not for us. Then we went to Cardin Hall and then they had to walk in a line. If they walked outside the line, they were in the telephone booth. I'm like, this is not, I need to, I had to create my own.

Well, that's what I'm asking you because. But I could not teach my kids. That's what I'm going to tell you is when they were little. Oh, we don't have time for that. No, no, but I'm saying when I, when they were little, I had a classroom in my house. I hired staff. They came in.

I literally built a public stage for them. They did public speaking. But when they were little, I nurtured them. But when they got into like six or seven, no. I had to remove myself. Six or seven, you removed yourself. There's a lot of things now. And again, like this is a hot button issue.

Yeah. But I just feel school has changed a lot since like I was talking to my dad. I said, dad, I think our curriculum was probably closer to get. My dad's in the 80s and I'm 40. Like I was like, our curriculum between my dad and me was probably closer. than the curriculum between what I have in my children. And I got to, and again, like, I actually don't care how people feel about this. I got to notice the other day from the school and it was saying, our daughters was a

kindergarten, I said, do you want to opt her in or out of the sex ed classes this week? And I was like, looking around, like, she's in kindergarten. Like, why is this even happening right now? And again, I don't care how people feel about it. I'm going to go so deep. I'm going to go so deep on this. Go. And I'm sorry if I offend anybody.

It's enslavement. and it's brainwashing. And that's what's happening right now is there's an agenda to keep our kids limited, stuck, and enslave them. And I'm sorry, you came here with a birth certificate. You have a number on it. Okay? They are creating workers out of the school system.

And now this whole woke blah, blah, blah, blah stuff is confusing these kids. They don't need to have all this information. It's too much. It's too much overload. It's too much information. So for you with what you're saying is it's like, just teach them. It's like, why do I give a fuck about George Washington's broken wooden tooth? How is that going to help me in life?

We're still teaching the same history lesson, bullshit. Think about it. The reason I ask is because you've had kids that have gone through. And I think a lot more parents these days are thinking about solutions. Well, the homeschool movement is out of control right now. And the reason is people are really waking up to going. And I want to tell you the story because it's like, it's so this will give you an idea. When my son was in Montessori, I gave him a greens bar.

I was like a super greens natural bar. I packed his lunch, all the things. the library the principal calls me in she goes he he can't have this and i was like can you share with me why she's 300 pounds she's drinking a diet coke and she has a candy bar i go i'm going to take information from you right i'm doing the work i was like he he can't listen to a leader like that people are not exemplary that's the issue is when you drop your kid off who is that role model we're talking about aligned leadership right in the classroom who's programming your child i was like i want to protect them. I want to hire my teachers with my philosophy of how I want my kids to be taught

with the right value system. And that's what I built, where I was like, I want to take control of this so that they could be set up for life. Well, we have not talked about this on the show, but we will be doing homeschooling next year. Oh, we're aligned. I don't have questions for you off air about that. Quick break to talk about Haya. This is one of our favorite companies. We give it to our kids every single day. They love it. They look forward to it. And what we love about this is When we're taking our supplements in the morning, building healthy habits, our kids can now join as well. What many parents are unaware of is some children's vitamins on the market today contain up to seven grams of sugar per serving and are stuffed with artificial additives and petroleum-based dyes.

Hyattook the opposite approach. Zero sugar, zero gummy additives, just clean nutrition. And they worked alongside pediatricians, the nutrition scientists, to create one of the most powerful chewable multivitamins that kids can enjoy. They pack a blend of 12 organic fruits and vegetables plus 15 essential vitamins and minerals into every chewable. We're talking vitamin D, B12, C, zinc, folate, all the foundational nutrients that support immune health, brain function, mood regulation, concentration, and the development of strong teeth and bones. We talk about these vitamins and minerals all the time on this show that healthy adults need. We don't talk nearly enough about what kids need. They need the same thing as adults, but in dosages designed for children.

And like I said, we love this product. Our kids love this product. We look forward to it every single morning, and they've been taking it for years and are thriving. Also, Haya just launched something brand new. if your kids are active and growing, adding in a clean protein powder with added minerals designed just for kids might be exactly what they need. Haya's new kids' daily growth and protein is a total game changer. It's more than a protein shake.

It's a purity awarded clean protein powder with added minerals and healthy fats that mixes right into water, smoothies, and more to support muscle development and cognition to fuel everything they've got going on. So check them out. We've worked out a special deal with Haya. We received 50% off your first order on any of their products. To claim this deal, you must go to Hayahealth.com slash skinny. this deal is not available on their regular website.

Go to H-I-Y-A-H-E-A-H-E-A-L-T-H-C-C-C-N-E-A-L-T-H-C-C-E-L-H-E-L-H-E-L-H-E-L-H-E-L-E-L-E-B. One thing that I do not mess around with postpartum is a comfortable braw. I like it to be so comfortable, okay? Especially when I'm trying to breastfeed and I have to unhook that little hook. I want things to be as comfortable as can be, especially, like, the first three months after birth. I do not mess around. And the brawlet that I use is by Kindred Braily. this was the one that I used always in those first couple months after giving birth.

It's a French Terry maternity and nursing braulette. I got the black, but don't sleep on the gray Heather. I like that one too. They also have like a vintage blue. It's absolutely beautiful. And it has an elastic band for a secure fit. And it has a pullover style with adjustable straps. It is so comfortable and you can nurse on the go.

Even if you're not nursing, though, this bra is just, the best postpartum. They also have like a thong that's really comfortable and they have a brief that's amazing. Everything is designed to make you feel supported and comfortable during postpartum. That is what we're looking for. We do not want to be uncomfortable postpartum. You guys know this. Right now, Kindred Bravely is offering our listeners 20% off your first order when you go to kindred bravely.com slash skinny. That's kindredbravely.com slash skinny for 20% off your first order. make sure you use our links so they know we sent you. Exclusions apply. I did not mess around when it came to taking a prenatal. I wanted the number one prenatal. I wanted something that was clinically

proven to deliver key nutrients including folate, biotin, and vitamin D. I also wanted methylated folate that was so important to me. And if you listen to our episode with Gary Breca, you know why. So inter ritual, their essential prenatal is clinically proven to be well absorbed and demonstrated a more efficient utilization of folate versus a leading prenatal with folic acid. Mom's Taking Ritual reported that the essential prenatal is easier to swallow. I can tell you that it is. It's so much more gentle on your stomach. It has like a minty essence.

It's just a better overall positive experience. I've taken their prenatal with all three of my babies. And the reason is because it's the number one best selling prenatal that's clinically backed. And I like that. know that I don't need to worry about my multivitamin. I know that I'm getting clean, traceable ingredients, especially while pregnant. The coline is so important to me. The folate, the omega-3, it really hits all the spots. They're vegan, gluten and major allergen-free, non-GMO, and they don't use any synthetic colorance. So if you are pregnant, don't settle for less than

evidence-based support. I also like their multivitamin when I'm not pregnant. Save 25% on your first month at ritual.com slash skinny. That's ritual.com slash skinny for 25% off your first month. This episode is brought to you by Lauren Bostic for P-Volve. That's right. I have launched a kit with P-Volve. I designed every single aspect of this kit with the P-Volve team and it is gorgeous, as you can see. We have eight pound weights, 12-pound weights, 15-pound weights because I am so passionate about getting women to lift heavier. And this kit has heavy. And this kit has heavy. weights in it and it also has everything you need for stability and mobility. So in this kit, you're really getting everything you could ever want when it comes to fitness. You're also getting

access to my P-Volve trainer, Danny Coleman. She also happens to be Jennifer Aniston's trainer. She's coached me along this P-Volve journey. P-Volve has been something that I keep going back to for the last seven years. I've had three babies and it's helped me stay in shape and tighten and tone up. I love the founder, Rachel. I think she's an absolute genius. So when she came to me and wanted to create this custom kit for you guys, I was like, let's do it. It's limited addition. It's gorgeous. It comes in the most beautiful box ever. And the best part is everything is built with intention. So Pvov's core strength pillars are strength, mobility and stability. And this kit hits all of them. This is product that you want out in your

living room, in your office. It's aesthetically pleasing. It's gorgeous. But most important, importantly, it works. If you want to shrink your body composition and change your life, start lifting heavy and implement stability and mobility. Lauren Bostic for Pvolve has all of the things. Like I said, this is a limited edition kit. It's called Strength Evolved and once it's gone, it's gone. If you're looking for low impact but intense workouts, check out Pvolve. Head to Pvolve.com slash skinny and use code skinny for 15% off sitewide or on class packs at a P-Volv studio near you. And definitely grab this kit, you guys. Because like I said, once it's gone, it's gone. Lauren Bostic for P-Bolv. So, okay, I have to ask you this question. This is a very important question from the team.

So what are critical things that parents need to know about raising teenagers? Okay. So it's fully loaded. But like before, this is like, the most critical part of life before they're an adult. And I want to say this with so much love and compassion. If your child is on social media and they're doom scrolling all day, they cannot be a highly effective individual in society. Their dopamine receptors are absolutely fried. And this is why they cannot hold jobs. This is why they're not fulfilled. The teenage era right now is at a critical mass of these kids that are addicted to these devices. So I don't think parents are really realizing when you are, when you have that much dopamine coming into your frequency

constantly, your receptors are fried. So anything that you do in your life is not going to reach that potential because you're getting hits 24-7. So teenagers especially, they need digital boundaries. They need digital boundaries. And that would be my number one thing that I would say that I'm seeing right now is these teenagers are addicted to these devices. They don't listen to their parents. They're, they don't listen to authority. Want to get into that? But also like if you want to go really deep, a lot of the parents are scrolling on their own phone. That's another thing. I mean, like, I think, yes, the children should not be doom scrolling. I don't want to give a phone until my kids are 18. Yeah, exactly. You know, I recently got, and it's just a quick plug,

and I have no affiliation. I got this app called Opel. You heard of it? No. It puts a block on all of your, whatever you have a problem with. Like, for me, I put a block on every social media app. And the only way to get into it during the day is you have to open the app. Then it has 10 second countdown, which is annoying. And then you have to request a break. And the break is like between 5 to 15 minutes. When the breaks up, it shuts it off again. So what it does is the immediate pickup you can't do because you live it up to sit. So it makes your process, mindfulness, mindfulness, yeah. And then if you want it, you have to intentionally ask for a break. And then the break is a short window of time. And I think it's an incredible tool because for me,

like I was looking at X a little bit too much. Yeah. And now I looked at my screen time on social. And it's like less than 30 minutes a day I spend on social now. Yeah, yeah. And I think the thing is that we're so used to consuming. And, and, you know, teenagers are the most fragile, you know, another thing that I just want to say, and I say it all the time, is these people are coming to me going, God, my teenager is such a pain in the ass, and they bypass, like, oh, he's just a teenager. I'm like, no, I have teenagers. They're my best friends. So if you can get the identity and the culture right in your home, they're an asset. They're not a pain in your ass. They're an actual asset to your family. You're the first person I've ever heard. I'm serious.

They say, oh, toddler too, they're pain in the ass. I'm like, my kids were never like that. Like, it's so sad because people will just bypass and go, oh, my teenager, he's a pain in the ass. I can't stand him. He'll grow out of it. And they just bypass it. And I'm like, this is the most important time.

They need your love. They need you to open up the space. They're going through puberty, all of these things. Like, sit with them and say, what's up? How's your life? How are things going? But we're not doing that. We're not taking the intentionality.

We're looking at it from a whole different perspective, from parenting. We have to, I always, my biggest thing, Lauren Majors, stop managing behavior and start shaping greatness. You like that? Boundary setting. What is the biggest difference between setting a strong boundary and making a request? Do parents get this confused? Yes, a strong boundary is a leadership. So how are you coming out a strong boundary? And again, we talked about the proactive versus reactive. So here's our boundaries as a family. This is how we exist together. This is how we operate in the world. So if you are on a reactive state, you're second guessing, you're winging it, you're exhausted.

Every single person coming into my field, I don't have a life, I'm exhausted. Well, do you have the boundaries of your home set? Does everybody know the rhythm? How do we get the nanny on board? I love this question. Like, I can't even tell you because it fulfills my life. I've had nannies. I've had support.

I have trained my nannies in my system in all my things. They have taken it back to El Salvador and Mexico and have taught their families in Spanish. That's how easy it is. it that that is how easy it is it's system it's a system for everybody so I would train my nannies this is the scripts this is how you know when you bump against challenge or whatever so it's literally like a training manual I would never that's the manual you know no no that's just a gratitude journal I'm gonna give yeah but I'm saying I'm saying I would train them when they came to work for our family where I would say this is what we say we don't coddle we don't you know like you're training them

they're your staff and they're bringing in all their baggage from their childhood parenting is complicated it. Like, you have to think about this. You're, but think about this. Think about this. You're not managing just yourself. Like, you know how easy it is for me to talk about health, wealth, and business? I could create an online course all day, make millions. Oh, yeah. Alex Hermosey online. You know how easy that is? You know, as a business executive, I'm talking about parenting.

So I'm talking to you. You're thinking about Lauren. Then you're thinking about your other kids. Then you're thinking about your grandparents. Just in this conversation, you've brought up 10 people. Sure. Yeah. It's like. Because everybody has a touch point. Right? And then you bring your family over and they're yelling at your kid.

You're like, no. So it's like you got to get the leadership principles. Like I sat down with the staff that was in my home and saying this is our family values. This is how we speak to our kids. This is what we do. Again, that's- I don't want to go right back into the school. But part of why we started thinking about this is you realize if the values in the school

are not the same as the values in the home. That's an issue. And then you're wondering who these values- Where are you picking this up from? Yeah. And you're sending someone to a place where they spend. And again, like, we're fortunate that we have resources and different options. I know that's not available to everyone.

But to me, like, this is the most important area to invest in, to your point. It's a good legacy. It's your children. Like, I would much rather spend my resources there to make sure that that is going in the right direction than otherwise is. That's like the thing is that you talk about the school. You know, and the idea is, that they're one on 30 kids. And again, I'm self-made. I came from, I built my entire life. I've hustled my entire life. I built my businesses, my empire, so I could give my kids the best

leg up in the world. We are not teaching our kids to be world-ready. We're teaching them to memorize. We're teaching them to follow rules, right? This is where lack and limitation comes from. So for me, like when I look at a school, the moment that I walked into a school, I met with the principal, I said, share with me your values. Does your leadership values align with how I want to build my family? No, they're confused. And people will say, like, I homeschool my kids, but it's a whole different level of homeschool. What about their social life?

My kids hang out with 24, 25-year-olds. They don't need a social life. I don't want my kids around the wrong influences and families that don't have the same values as we do. That's interesting. Go off on that. That's what I want to. TikTok's going to love that.

I wanted to tell you guys that. Let it rip. That's not an important thing. Like, you know, you hear the story about like, oh well he hung around the wrong kid and he was smoking pot you know it's like it's like does do you want your kids hanging around the wrong the wrong influences like so my kids have never spent the night at anybody's house we're doing that okay i'm like that crazy no no no no no i'm just telling you because the shit that happens at other house i have no control over and i don't

know you guys probably know the research of what's happened with sexual abuse and all of these things we we are one of our one also when i will not we're not we're not And I think back on our own, even just like our own adolescent experiences when you think about things that happen at sleepovers. Everybody knows those stories. That's what's saying. Like usually a child's wanting to go having a sleepover so that they can escape the reality of what's happening in the home. My kids will say you can only spend the night at our house. Totally fine.

We'll do a dinner. We'll do whatever. But it's in a controlled environment of what our values are. So when you look at like the social arena for kids, people are bringing all of their own identity into the school. Okay. Now you're hanging out with Paul, Peter, Bob. They might have, you know, affairs going on. their house they might have all these things so now your child is hanging around this energy so this kid could be

talking to yeah my mom cheated on my dad last night but but you're doing the best you can to anchor your home it's like no no no i want to protect my kids that the friends that they choose are in alignment to me and brad in our value system so it's not more is more it's less is more to us it's it's the one right friend that has the right values that's the most important thing because kids get caught up in peer pressure they want to be cool. My kids are so empowered where like my daughter will say we had a woman work for our family. And literally like Peyton would say like, hey, that's out of alignment. Like don't be talking to me about your drama. I don't want to hear your drama. You're there to drive. You're a driver. You're driving me to horses. Don't talk to me about your bullshit that's happening in your home.

She's 16 because she knows energy and energy out. She wants to protect her vibration. She doesn't want to hear about all the drama that's going on in this girl's life at 24 years old. But kids don't have that intelligence in school. So they get caught up. And I don't want any bad shit coming into my house. I mean, that's kind of what it comes down to. What's the difference between a mentally resilient child versus one that's not? Give us the differences. Oh my God, that's fully loaded. So mentally resilient is a child that can overcome the obstacle and step into it with resilience. You know, victimization. That's just what it comes down to. I am a victim to my circumstances and I have no control over that. No, no, no, no. You have control. You have free will.

Every morning you wake up, you get to make a choice. So it's not life is happening to me. It's happening for me. So when you talk about mentally resilient, they can overcome the obstacle and step into creating a solution. Kids that aren't mentally resilient, they fall victim and they create this, woes me. I feel so sorry for myself. No. So people that raise leaders, they're teaching their kids.

The resiliency is where that's where the growth is. That's where the gold is. So like my son is going through a major challenge. right now on the tennis court. He was one of the top in the nation and he's 14 and these guys have hit puberty like and he hasn't and he's losing and it's I mean he's crying it's a mental battle for him and he said a other night I made him we got into this thing and I was like get out of the car and walk home. Walk home. I want you to process this by yourself and it was under the stars. It was under the moon. We were in a safe air and you know our neighborhood and he got to the car and he said I've been

suppressing this pressure. And I said, you don't have any pressure. You don't even know what pressure is. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, right? It's like, you don't even know what pressure is. It's your mind. You're creating this. You know what he said to me? He said, let me figure it out. I don't need you. You and dad don't need to figure this out. I want to figure this out on my own. Came to us the next day. I want to hire a new coach. I want mental resilience. It's like, that's what we're talking about. Finding solutions, solution based kids. It's so great. It's like so good. It's like it hurts. It's like, get out of the car.

You know, he's crying. It's a battle. Boom, boom, boom. On the other side. That's a great story. The rainbow's there. And he's like, no, no, I got this. I've been taught how to figure this out.

So if you haven't developed that, that's a practice. It's a resourcefulness. It's a skill. Yes. Before you go, give us some sayings that we can take home to our children tonight. Oh my gosh. Master your space. Okay, so, but remember, why are we mastering our space?

We're mastering our space. I want you guys to really drop into that life. benefit. You're not telling them the life benefit. Give me one life benefit that this brings to your life. How is this positive? So like say say are your frames. I call them like the happy life language reframes. So instead of saying good job, you're now saying you inspire my life. The way you showed up there was really amazing. Keep going. And what if they're looking for a cheerleader in a moment where maybe it doesn't deserve cheer? What do you just kind of like if they show you an art project that's like, like I said earlier, the line. What do you say?

Do you want to really know the truth? Yeah. I think you could do better. Oh. I am a new woman. Right? Oh my God. We're going to see, Lauren.

We're going to see. Like that is going to make it so hard. Lauren, I make a joke with my kids. No, I'll make a joke because I'm actually like, I am like the biggest prankster ever and my kids like I'm one of the funniest people. So I'll be like, I'll be like, is that all you got? You know why this is, you know why this is going to, this is so interesting because in our personal dynamic and our marriage. Tell me. I do that to him. No, I say, I think you could do better to you.

I also say that to you. So, I say it to him too. But I don't take a defense. I'm like, you get so. Lit up. Lit up. She gets lit up. So, so, so, so, Lauren, the thing is, is that you're not trying to comfort them to make

them feel good. You're bringing out their greatness. So you're like, hey, that was really good, but I think you got more in the tank. Okay. Push that. Push that. Let him go back. Let him figure it out.

Come back. Wow. Now you got two lines. Is that all you got? Let's go. Let's keep this going. I think you got more because you just stepped up a level. Okay. Right? So you're not coming at it being mean. You're basically saying I see your greatness. I see more. Like you didn't learn anything in this episode either. You better put that phone down during our nature walk. I learned I learned a ton for sure. But no, you know, I think. Is that all you got? I, you know, I think also people that come like different cultures. You know, my, my mom's half Japanese and half Italian. Amazing. And, uh, I always took, there was not, like, effort was not praised in the house. Yeah.

It was like, did you do the job or did you not do the job? Right, right. Like, it wasn't like, hey, I didn't make my bed this morning. I didn't take the trash out and I didn't try in the sport and then like looking for praise. It was like, did you do it or did you not? Yeah, like it's very black and white. There's no neutral. Like, that's another thing that I think is the biggest, the biggest challenge that we're facing is we're allowing space for our children to, to like fall out of the gap.

Like, there's a gap here, right? You drew a picture. I don't think it's the best picture that you've drawn. By the way, this happens. Why are we afraid to say that? This happens in organizations, too. At the end of the year, everybody comes. Hello, you come and get a review.

It's the same thing. If somebody comes for the review and they go, now you're on the vibe. See, now. No, but I know. But if they come to me and they say, I've been here for a year. I need a raise. Did you do the job or not? Well, no, I tried, but I didn't.

You're not getting a raise. You're staying at the same position. I'm sorry. And I just literally did a video on this. Again, you ask me the viral ones. I mean, the views are, when you go to the job and you show up late, how many times you get written up, two times, three, then you get canned. We have to teach our kids that.

Like, if you're late to practice, if you forgot your water bottle, if you forgot, that's on you. Like the real world doesn't have sympathy for your excuse. No, into that end. Go, girl. Yep. To that end, the real world also doesn't care what's going on in your personal life. Thank you. It just doesn't work that way.

because everybody's got things going on in their home personally. Yeah. And the world is not going to account for that. The world, it just doesn't. You said it perfect, where the thing is, when you talk about the real worlds, like, we're living in all these different dynamics. And the majority of people walking around are selfish individuals. No one's going to take your pain away. No one's going to get you the job.

You have to fight for the life that you want to create. Yeah. I mean, do you think that if you miss your rent or mortgage payment and you call your lender and say, you know, I had a real thing. I had a really rough night at home. My girlfriend broke my boyfriend. You're going to say, where the fuck is the money? We're running a business here.

Sorry, there's no excuses. And that's why it's so weird because you have business-oriented people like me, right? So create a company, right? You look at the sports industry. You look at all of this. You have to be held accountable. And so gentle parenting. They're not being held accountable for their choices.

So you see why the workforce is shit right now? And people cry and they get sad because they don't want to go to HR. It's like, well, you didn't. show up, get the fuck out of here. Like, that is how, with love, in our homes, but we need to be that serious in our leadership, so we're preparing them for life. You got to come back for part two. Can we do this again? You can come back anytime you'd like. Get this woman a podcast. Lauren, where can everyone get your blueprint to give to the, like, where do we get all the stuff? Okay, so I, uh, the Lauren majors, M-A-G-E-R-S is my hub, my website. I have multiple books, um,

I have my memberships. And so the HQ membership is literally, I walk with you for 12 months. You implement the system with me and my certified coaching team in your home. Like all my people are trained in my system. So basically you go through it, video module, you learn the micro concept, then you implement in your home. Then when you're ready to stack, my team goes with you. So it's literally like, it's like Nanny 911.

Remember back in the day the lady that would drive your home? That's what I did. So my, she follows me, Jill, whatever. Yeah. She's like, I love you. I'm like, are you Nanny 911? But basically nanny 911 is what I created with the Happy Life system. So you learn the system.

Then we walk alongside you to implement it. If I told you the wins within a week just with what I'm teaching you on this podcast, parents are like, I cannot believe this is working. So what I did is I built out the 12-month program. But you got to do it with your partner. You can't do it alone, right? I have single moms. I have dads.

I have, it's you first stepping into this. Got it. Right? So, I mean, you guys are a team. You do business together. This is easy for you. It's natural. And I've had people where literally wives have signed up and the husband's like,

what are you doing, whatever? They see the movement in the home. Guess what? Now they're watching every video. They're learning the system. So it's really about the choice that you're making to elevate your life. And so I built it out 12-month program where you have your membership. Then my certified team is with you.

You're watching the video modules. And then I have over 30 books in there, all my habit cards, all the skill cards, all the trackers. And they just start building their life. So I come on live once a month with the community. So that's my HQ. it's Happy Life System HQ membership. And then I have a club, which is like distilled down.

So it's one teaching a month. So it's like if you wanted to go micro and just start really slow, I have those two things. And that's what like my thing is not, it's funny if you go to my website. I'm like, I'm not here to give you parenting advice. Like you have the wrong person. I'm about implementation and action. And that's what gets you the results. Beautiful on a mic.

Thank you. So interesting. I find this fascinating. I don't mean to brag. But what do I do best? Say it here. Say it again. I don't know.

You do a lot of things. I do do a lot of things. Here we go. Looking for that validation. Say what I do best though because it's true. You found me. She does find people. She does find a lot of people.

Wait, you didn't tell me. How did you find me? I was served your content and I immediately was like, get this person on the podcast. Oh my God. Because I don't care how many followers someone has. You have a ton of followers. Yeah. Even if you had a thousand followers.

I don't care how many followers someone has if their message is going to resonate with a lot of people and help people and we can amplify it. Yeah. I want them on the show. Yeah. And what's interesting is like for you, like, you know, I'm just now going on tour. So like Caitlin Bristow, I'm going to her podcast in New York. Tell what we say hello.

Right? But my point is, is like, I'm open, like I'm open and available to serve this wisdom. This is my lifestyle. I've been living it for 15 years. So cool. I'm not here for a quick buck. I'm not an online coach. And like they'll always say, you're a life coach.

You changed my. I'm like, no, no, no. There's no ego here. I want to pass on the wisdom of what has. literally saved my life as a mother so I can run companies. I can live with freedom. I could live my life too. And the idea is me sharing this message is really about me activating people to let them know they were born with this. You have this within you. I want to give you the footprint so that you could start to live in an amplified level. Mediocracy is okay right now and I'm not

okay with it. I'm not. So it's like for me to go on tour and to talk to you and a dad and a mom, Do you know what that does to my soul? It lights up my life. I feel like I've been chosen to activate as many families and children that I can. Well, you just made a huge footprint on us. I know we have. I mean, I'm scripted. No.

No, you're asking me. For me. We wouldn't let anybody scripted. No, what I'm saying, you're asking me, I'm giving you a solution. I'm giving you a solution. It's like, that's, I've been living. For me, what is so great is that tomorrow's the last day of school. So I can come home tomorrow night and I can sit down and say,

say school is out. It's summertime. And we have some new rules that we're implemented. Not rules. Not rules. We have a new system. That's going to be the most, I have a frame. I have a script. I'm going to send you the script because rules create real rules create resistance. So it's a lower vibratory word. And swim lessons are starting for our son and you're going to have to sit inside. Yeah, but I think like it's so this is so perfect for our family. It's a new season and a new chapter and you say, hey, we're elevating together. We're making the bed. Yes. You're going to see me dunking our son's head in the water over outside. I'm just kidding. No, but Lauren, I want you to think of this as an opportunity.

So, hey, guys, I am so excited to share this new system of what we're going to start implementing in our home that's going to elevate you, bring more joy, bring more teamwork. We're going to have so much fun. The first start of this is our foundation in the morning. Here's three skills you're going to do. I want you to stack for seven days and then we're going to celebrate as a family. Like, it's basic shit. I better see those tongues being scraped. Thank you, Lauren. Oh my God. It was so great. Thank you so much for having me.