The Bossticks - Jesse Itzler On How To Achieve Personal Goals Constantly, Stay Motivated, & Plan Your Entire Year Effectively

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

#644: Today, we're joined by Jesse Itzler. Jesse Itzler's remarkable journey is defined by taking an unconventional approach. An Emmy-award winning artist, New York Times bestselling author, part-owne...r of the Atlanta Hawks, ultramarathon runner, and exceptional husband, father, and businessman, he has mastered the art of success. Today, we sit down for a conversation surrounding how to lead a successful life, shift your 2024 mindset, and maintain motivation to achieve your goals. We also dive into goal-setting, the importance of failing as a pathway to success, and how to ignite your inner drive.   To connect with Jesse Itzler click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To subscribe to our YouTube Page click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential. Tune in to the Morning Quickie HERE. This episode is brought to you by Dreamland Baby Use code SKINNY at checkout for 20% off sitewide & free shipping at dreamlandbabyco.com This episode is brought to you by Ritual Start a daily ritual that you can feel good about. Visit ritual.com/SKINNY to receive 40% off your first month of Ritual. This episode is brought to you by The Farmer's Dog It's never been easier to invest in your dog's health with fresh food. Get 50% off your first box & free shipping by going to thefarmersdog.com/skinny This episode is brought to you by Hinge Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted. Download Hinge today & find someone worth deleting the app for. This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market Thrive Market is the go-to for all of your grocery and household essentials- and it's all conveniently delivered to your doorstep. Get 30% off your first order, plus a free $60 gift at thrivemarket.com/skinny or use code SKINNY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Kroma Use code SKINNY at kromawellness.com to get 15% off + free shipping on a 5 day reset Produced by Dear Media

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a dear media production. Quick reminder, we just launched our new show The Morning Quicky, which compiles all of the best moments and all of the 700 plus episodes that we've done throughout the years. Think bite-size information from all the incredible guests, whether it comes to business, relationships, inspiration, comedy, all of the stuff that you may have forgotten over the years, but which is still relevant today.
Starting point is 00:00:21 We have such a strong back catalog, and we have the team compile all the best moments. So if you need that reminder on how to be better, how to live better, how to feel better, check out the Morning Quicky delivered straight to wherever you get your podcast, both video and audio formats on YouTube and wherever you get your podcast. So check it out. Make sure you're not confused. This is a completely separate podcast called The Morning Quicky. Go check it out. Follow, subscribe with love a review. If you feel compelled to do so, check it out in the Morning Quicky. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing
Starting point is 00:00:59 You alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. I'm not good at a lot of things, but I am good at relationships. And I found that when you build, especially in your 20s and your 30s, it never ends, but that's the time where you have the most flexibility to build a network and, you know, say yes to everything. Like, I'm in my 50s.
Starting point is 00:01:25 I say no day, mostly everything. But in my 20s, I said yes to as many things as I can. because I wanted to put myself in a situation where I could get lucky. Luck doesn't happen sitting home watching the Kardashians. It happens when you go somewhere where the universe can reward you. And then you've got to be good at whatever you do. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to The Him and Her Show, kicking off the New Year's with another very strong episode.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Jesse Itzler. Jesse has to be one of the most highly requested guests on this show. I'm surprised it took so long to do this with him. But I'm also very glad that it did take this long because this is an incredible episode. So many people had recommended having Jesse come on the show. Jesse is an Emmy Award winning artists, a New York Times bestselling author. He's part owner of the Atlanta Hawks. He's an ultra-marathon runner and exceptional husband, father, businessman.
Starting point is 00:02:12 He has mastered the art of success. He's married to Sarah Blakely as well. He's got four children. And he's just someone that both Lauren and I really look up to. For years, we had spoken at so many different events with Jesse and we'd kind of cross paths, but we never had the ability to get him on the show. Then one day he reached out and he said, hey, I'm coming to Austin. We invited him over to the house.
Starting point is 00:02:30 I tried to cook him in our sauna. I tried to freeze him in our ice bath. And he continued to persevere and then did the show right after. We ended up talking for almost two hours on and off air. And like I said, I think this is an incredible episode to start the new year. Anyone that wants to feel better, they want to perform, they want to be inspired. They just want to be all around better. This episode's for you.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Jesse Idler, welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her. We almost melted you before you even got on the show. That was, I got to say, maybe the hottest on a session that we've ever done. Because normally we start cold and then we warm up. That was a different level. You guys keep an attorney at your house because, like, I mean, it was so hot. You could get sued for that.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Well, no, Jesse came to the house and he was like, listen, you need a pool gate here. You need a fire extinguisher here. These guys up on the ladder. So, no, I'm just going to keep you around. I've been a dad for 15 years, so I'm looking at houses differently than some of your guests. By the way, you guys need a fire extinguisher by your sauna too immediately. Do you actually? Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:34 He was leaving. He was like, listen, put the fire extinguers. I'm going to put a checklist together for you guys. I also want to switch my sauna because of Jesse to wood burning sauna instead of an electric. What's your sauna protocol if someone's listening? What's your ice bath sauna, Jesse, it'sler protocol? So it's a big part of my life because I love the way that it makes me feel. feel, but I like to go in the sauna first for like 20 minutes, and then I'll go in the cold
Starting point is 00:03:58 plunge for like two minutes, half of you, Warren, half of you, you're a four-minute person, and then I'll do that like two times, two or three times, and that's usually about a 45-minute session total. You are so productive. Like, that's how I would describe you as a person. What things do you do on a daily basis that support you being this productive? Well, you know, I don't dilly dally anymore. So I have four children, you know, I have businesses. My wife has her business. Obviously, she had Spanx for 20 plus years. So as you get older and you evolve,
Starting point is 00:04:37 your life system has to evolve. So like when I first started out in business, I was working 20 hours. I was eating dinner at 11 o'clock. And now I ate dinner at 5.30. So you have to change your day-to-day system as you evolve. So my life looks way different at 55 than it looked when I was 37. And for me, it's really important that I do things every day that I love to do. I have to check the Jesse box because if I don't do that and someone takes that away from me, if my wife says, you can't run right now, we have to do this. Or I'm going to resent her. I'm going to resent my boss or my team or whatever.
Starting point is 00:05:15 So I really prioritize me every day and make sure that I do a couple of things that I like every day. And Sond and Cold Plunging is one, you know, playing with my kids. All those things are really important to me. So I make sure that I do that every day. You know, it's interesting. We have so many high performers, including yourself on the show. And I always, you know, what we try to do is we try to extrapolate the information for the audience to, you know, apply that, you know, tactic or advice to their own life. But as you were just talking and as we were talking in the sauna, I was thinking, like you're so right about iterating your life as you go on. And I think about how I used to operate in my early 20s until even like my,
Starting point is 00:05:55 you know, early 30s before I had children when we were first starting out and compared to how I operate now. And I'm still like, I think we're still really in it. We're still young. But I'd be lying if I said it's the same kind of grind that it was when I was in my early 20s. And so I think what's interesting when you talk is people will listen to someone like yourself on stage or they'll listen to you talk on a podcast like this and like, oh, I'm going
Starting point is 00:06:16 to do what Jesse does. But I wonder when you're giving advice to say that 25-year-old Jesse, would you change the way you operated then and say to operate the way you do now or would you do what you did at that point? Do you get what I'm saying? I think the greatest gift I gave to myself in my 20s is that I lived in my 20s. Like I was 20. A lot of my friends lost their 20s chasing, you know, work or trying to get promoted or whatever. And, you know, you're 20, you're going to make four, you'll make 10 times as much money in
Starting point is 00:06:46 not everybody, but most people listening in their 40s and 50s, then they will in their 20s and 30s, because you're going to learn from your mistakes, you can have a bigger network, you're going to be better at whatever it is you're doing, you're going to be really good. You might not be really good, and you'll be really good in your 30s and 40s.
Starting point is 00:07:02 You can monetize it then. So I'm really glad that I got to try different things in my 20s and figure it out, like, what am I good at? What do I like to do? What am I passionate about? What don't I like to do? What am I not good at? So when I look back on,
Starting point is 00:07:16 Look, it worked out pretty well for me. But that was the best gift that I gave to myself. Like, I didn't worry about the fact that other people were on Wall Street making a lot more money than me. And I was sleeping on my friend's couches trying to figure out, like, businesses that were failing. Like, how do I make that work? Because at the end of the day, you know, I'm playing the long game. And I wasn't worried about, oh, so-and-so is making this or doing this.
Starting point is 00:07:40 And I'm only here. It's easy to compare. You never win when you compare yourself to someone else. there's always going to be someone better or making more money. So I never had that. I was really, like, comfortable. I think if you're in your 20s, it's really important to believe in the end of your story. Like, you have to believe he or she's out there.
Starting point is 00:08:00 You have to believe that, you know, you're going to be a millionaire. So I used to walk into my office. But my journey was really interesting. I had a very unconventional journey as an entrepreneur. And in my, between the ages of 18 to 22, I slept on like, really like 18 different couches. My friends, I wasn't like homeless, but my friends were putting me up,
Starting point is 00:08:21 couch to couch to couch. And I remember walking into my office at like 20 and turning to my partner and saying to him, like, we're millionaires. They just haven't paid us yet. And like, I believe that. I knew that was coming for me. And I think that that conviction
Starting point is 00:08:35 is really important early on in your journey. Like how you talk to yourself in your 20s creates an environment of what you'll become in your 30s and 40s. I really believe that. Who taught you to think like that? You mentioned we were talking, you know, before when we got out of the sauna,
Starting point is 00:08:51 your father, was it your dad that taught you that? Was it a friendling? How do you, like, that young, how did you start thinking like that? Well, it's interesting because my father owned the plumbing supply house, and we never talked about money. I mean, he definitely breathed
Starting point is 00:09:05 a lot of confidence and self-esteem and love into me, which was the great, which is amazing. But, like, we never talked about money. I didn't know anything. Like, you know, I never met like, my first real millionaire I met, I was like 22 years old. I couldn't believe I knew someone.
Starting point is 00:09:22 That was a million. I'm like, Steve Starker is a millionaire. I'm like, come rub your elbow next to me, man. I need some of that. My dad didn't give me like business lessons, but he gave me a lot of, you can, you know, try everything wisdom, you know, and like it's okay to fail and those kind of messages.
Starting point is 00:09:41 And that was important to me. I don't know. Like, I just, look, I think that everybody is born with a baseline of grit. They say that grit's like the number one indicator of future success. If we all raise grittier kids, there's a better chance they be successful. And when you do things that are challenging, you take your baseline up. Even just what we just did in the sauna, as crazy as it sounds, we all wanted to get out. But we all stayed in.
Starting point is 00:10:07 I wanted to get out. That sauna was intense, but yeah. I was okay. I'm just kidding. No, but like when you do those things, you take. your baseline up and it never goes back down. So I was always doing those kind of things getting out of my comfort zone early. Yeah, I think this is like, I haven't articulated this well on the show, but I think, you know, this is my, you know, the last time I had a job was
Starting point is 00:10:28 McDonald's when I was in high school. And ever since then, I've worked for myself in some form of another. And what I try to point out to maybe people that are not as far along on the entrepreneurial path and you're much further than me is that I've had so many punches in the nose in these last 16, 17 years, that that grid has just slowly been built over time. And what I try to tell people is like, that's to me what those early years are for is like take the punches, learn from your mistakes, you know, have some tenacity, build the grid, keep going. But where I used to get in so much trouble is I felt at a young age, like I had to have it all at that point. And looking back, I wish I would have enjoyed a little bit more in that quote unquote
Starting point is 00:11:08 20s than, you know, putting so much pressure on myself. Because I don't think, to your point, you really, you need to get some of that experience and some of that grit before you can even start really being taken seriously as an entrepreneur. Does that make sense? Oh, definitely. If I met a guy like you and you're like, hey, I'm 22 years old and I'm ready like, hey, that's good, but you need more repetitions. And still so. And so I think what I try to point out to people now is that you have so much time. And if you can enjoy yourself a little bit more figuring out who you are in that 20 to 30 year period, I just think it's invaluable. You actually just remind them to be something I never thought about in my life ever.
Starting point is 00:11:44 And it just came to me as like thinking about my dad and like what you asked a good question. Like what was it? You know, my dad was really comfortable being embarrassed. He was goofy. He was a goofy guy. Like he would wear like he would wear stuff that didn't fit in in my town. And he was like he didn't care. And he taught himself, my brother and my two sisters that it's okay to be embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:12:08 And I'll tell you, man, once you get over the fear of being embarrassed, it's so liberating. It's so ridiculously liberating. And I think that's really the difference maker for me that, like, I was okay getting thrown out of offices. I got thrown out of offices all the time. I was okay with the word no. It didn't stop me from going until I got a yes. And that's been a theme in my life. You know, my book got rejected by 14 publishers till 15, number 15 gave me a chance.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Every record company threw me out until like 20. number 21 delicious vinyl sign me. I mean, every, it just goes on and on. And I think that comes from my dad and my mom just being like, it's okay if you get embarrassed or, you know, kicked down. And I think that's where it came from. Tell us the story of when you were kicked out of a building. Like, what do you mean? You got to give us a detail on that. I mean, it's happened. Early in my journey, I was selling carrot and celery sticks, door to in New York City. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Yeah. I was like, people like are two, they don't have time. This is like before Uber Eats. They don't have time to go out and get lunch. Like, I like carrot and celery sticks. Everybody probably likes carrot and celery sticks. I'm going to be the carrot and celery king.
Starting point is 00:13:24 So I like went to the Korean deli. I got like all these different, you know, I got all these carrots and I showed up at these offices and started selling them, you know, door to door knocking on the door. That lasted a day. Then I sold T-shirts at a giant. stadium that I made up. I got, I'm, I'm still banned from Giant Stadium. No way. I was selling him illegally in the parking lot. I got thrown out of that. Still to this day, you can't go there.
Starting point is 00:13:47 I mean, I'm sure like, I look different, but I'm sure I'm on a list. And even like as I got older, at Markey Jet, when I had this, which was a company that my partner and I started, when we had our first meeting at NetJets, which is the company that we ended up partnering with, our meeting when 12 men, they had, they had 650 airplanes, private jets, and we wanted to use that fleet to create a company to sell a private jet card. They were the only game in town. They say, no, there's no business. So we had to get a yes. And we got a meeting with the CEO and 11 minutes into the meeting. I was, I was 28 years old. He literally looked at my partner and I, and he said, If you think I'm giving two 28-year-old kids who probably didn't break a thousand on their SAT,
Starting point is 00:14:34 which I got a 980 on my SAT. He said, piss me off. He's like, there's no chance. And he threw us out. And we ended up getting a follow-up meeting. And ultimately at that meeting convinced him that our idea was valid. And that company went on to do $5 billion in sales. For the audience, if they don't know what that is, can you explain what kind of card you created?
Starting point is 00:14:55 Yeah. So our idea was, could we make $5 billion? flying private, more accessible and affordable to a bigger audience. So we created a 25-hour debit card. So basically, it would be like you owned your own plane. Your plane would be ready on six-hour notice anywhere in the country. You would prepay for 25 hours. So let's say you paid 100 grand. You get 25 flight hours. And if you flew from Austin to Atlanta, and it was a two-hour flight, you'd have 23 hours left. So you had all the benefits of owning your own airplane without having to own it. And then when the car was expired and you were at a time, you were at a time, you were
Starting point is 00:15:28 out of hours, you could just buy another card. So you don't have to buy a plane, no pilots. We did all that. And the benefit to the person who owns that plane is they get to offset some of their costs by people booking time when they're not using it, right? No, the benefit of it was that they literally had, it was like they own their own private jet without having to own it. No, I'm saying for the owner of that plane, they got to offset some of the costs that they would have to operate the plane. It was much cheaper, much cheaper. Okay. So when you're, when you're coming It worked, by the way. No, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:58 When you're coming up and you're getting all of these nose, what's going through your mind to keep pushing forward? Because I think a lot of people, one, you know, a lot of people have a fear of just getting started on the first place to your point. Maybe it's fear of rejection or they don't want to be embarrassed or they don't, you know, they're just, you know, they're worried about what that says about them as person. But after, as you're getting the nose, how are you motivating yourself to keep going? Because I think that's also important to talk about. Yeah, I think, well, just to take one step back, there's an art. to saying no now you know like no is so important to us we have we're busy we have kids like we can't say yes to everything so if if you invite me out to dinner on Thursday night you know first of
Starting point is 00:16:37 all I don't need to give you a reason why I can't go a lot of people think like to come up with an excuse like Michael thank you so much I just can't make it on Thursday you guys you and a bunch of guys go out to dinner now I when you're at dinner I'm having fun with my at my house I'm playing I'm going out to on a date with Sarah, whatever I'm doing. I just call the host at the restaurant saying, my friend Michael's there. I want to buy them dessert and send them a note saying, hey, guys, wish I could be there thinking of you guys.
Starting point is 00:17:07 I'll get the next one. Derserts on me. Drinks are on me. The meals on me. And now everyone there is like, oh my God, this guy's not even here and he's thinking of us. Like, I'm now the star. I turn to know into the star of the dinner.
Starting point is 00:17:23 So there's an art just saying no, and I don't delegate that. If it's a big no, it's coming from me. It's not coming from my assistant or anyone else. A big no isn't getting delegated. So there's like no is actually an opportunity to do amazing things. So just that's for starters. Good tip. It's a good tip.
Starting point is 00:17:44 And so I'm not scared. But what that did is it doesn't make me scared because no one wants to, I don't want to be like known. Oh my God, I asked Jesse for 15 minutes of his time. And he said, no, what a jerk. I want to be liked. We all want to be liked. In my 20s, I was really good at marketing and networking. And I had no budget.
Starting point is 00:18:04 So I used to write 10 handwritten letters a day, literally for a year. When I was 22, 23-ish, I would write handwritten letters to about five to 10 people every day. That was my marketing campaign. And so think about that. If you write 10 letters a day, over 300, that's 3,000 people. That's 3,000 seeds that you're planting over the course of a year. Now, they're not all going to be customers or your best friend, but you only need like one or two.
Starting point is 00:18:33 So for starters, I was really good at that. And the noes that I got were really just the beginning of relationships. Because even though it was a no, I know have permission at a restaurant to go and say, oh, you know, I sent you an email. You didn't respond. But I just, you know, I just want to. introduce them. I have permission to do that now. I'm not coming out of thin air. So I'm always, even to this date, I'm still planting a lot of seeds. I still write handwritten letters because,
Starting point is 00:19:00 you know, emails get deleted. There's just so much layers to get to the person, but everybody reads a handwritten letter. No one screens my mail for me, you know. So it's still a really effective strategy for me. The other thing I would just add to that, I don't mean to go on and on, but I think that I know there's a bit that I'm a little bit older, so I'm talking from experience. I have the right to say this because I've done it. I literally, I call it like the three-minute miracle, but every day I invest about three minutes and I write a DM because DMs are also a good way, a handwritten letter or a text or an email, and I send it to three people because if I do three minutes, if I just take three minutes a day
Starting point is 00:19:47 over the course of a year, that's a thousand seeds I'm planting. Like, this is how it works, man. You've got to put yourself out there. Going back to my dad, it's okay if you don't get 9,997 people responding, but three people are interested in, you know, whatever you're doing. So I'm really always top of mind consistently as a habit reaching out to people. And it's always one way. You know, I was like, Michael, I heard you like, I thought you might like this video on a new
Starting point is 00:20:17 sauna heater that because I know you like saunas. I'm just, it's one way. I'm not asking for anything. You know, Lauren, I know you like pink. So I just saw this really interesting thing about, you know, I'm sending things that I think people would be interested in. I'm thinking of them. And that's a great way to break through the clutter. And it's a great way for people to feel like, wow, like he listens and or he or she listens and cares. To round out your point, what you're saying, if you go back to your DMs, I think I reached out. about, I want to say like five times before you came on the podcast. I feel like I reached out in 2000, 2021.
Starting point is 00:20:56 We kind of talked back and forth. We kind of talked in 2022. We tried to make it happen. Like having you on the podcast was a result of planning seeds slowly. And so to see you at the house today when I saw you, I said, this is so full circle because I've wanted you on the podcast for so long. You know what's funny. Like even with the size of the platform that this has reached,
Starting point is 00:21:17 you and I have kind of been slowly talking. I was just trying like, like I'm looking, it's like we're May of 21. Just like slowly, hey, what's going on to see each other here and there? And like my whole thought process is like the right time will come along when it fits into your calendar, when there's when something lines up. But I think some people, they, they send a message one time. It doesn't go the way they wanted to go. They get discouraged.
Starting point is 00:21:39 They never send it again. And I think there's, there's an art to one, being patient. But two, I'd like you to elaborate a little bit more on when you mean one way. Because I think sometimes people come in with an ask, but it's a self-serving ask. Yeah. Does that make sense? That's difficult. It's like if someone like you who's reached a level of success that you have and there's
Starting point is 00:21:58 lots of people DMing you all the time and if I came to say, Jesse, you need to come on the show because I need you to come on the show because it'll help me with my show. That's a wrong way to approach you. And I think that would be the wrong way to approach me or Lauren or anyone else. I think people should understand a little bit more about the proper way to approach somebody. Yeah. I think that, you know, people are smart and people have in their intuition usually, you know, you can, you could tell if someone has a different motive or a different plan.
Starting point is 00:22:26 And when you authentically reach, reach out to somebody, you know, and compliment them or, you know, guys, you guys, I was with you guys today. You're amazing parents. Like, I could just see how much you care about your kids, those little girls and, you know, how you prioritize your life together. And it's like, it's inspiring. That's one way. I'm giving you an authentic compliment at a time where other people might not be doing it.
Starting point is 00:22:50 You're going to remember it. If I send you information, that's one way, meaning I'm not asking for anything in return. Hey, if you come on my podcast, I'll come on your, like that's traded. That's horse trading. We don't horse trade. That's not relationship building. And I found that, you know, I'm not good at a lot of things, but I am good at relationships. And I found that when you build, especially in your 20s and your 30s, it never ends,
Starting point is 00:23:17 but that's the time where you have the most flexibility to build a network and say yes to everything. Like, I'm in my 50s. I say no to mostly everything. But in my 20s, I said yes to as many things as I can because I wanted to put myself in a situation where I could get lucky. Luck doesn't happen sitting home watching the Kardashians. It happens when you go somewhere where the universe can reward you.
Starting point is 00:23:39 And then you got to be good at whatever you do. So in my 20s, I was putting myself, I was putting myself out there. And I was really, you know, networking. And when you build those deep, authentic relationships early on, the people in your 20s and 30s, in your 40s will be the people that are in positions of power. They'll be the decision makers. They'll be the owners of the studio. They won't be the podcasters.
Starting point is 00:24:02 They'll be owner of the whole damn network. And when you build those relationships, the floodgates open. And I think that, you know, people look at business and through the lens, through the financial lens, they over-emphasize the financial lens and they under-index on the spiritual side of it. Seriously, the spiritual side of the business. You know, how did you, not what did you do? How did you do it? What was the culture you built?
Starting point is 00:24:33 Were you philanthropic? What was your retention rate? Were you kind to your customers? Like, that's a whole other side. And any, not everyone's going to be great on the financial side. It's hard. Anybody can care the most. Anybody can care the most.
Starting point is 00:24:49 You don't need a 1,500 on your SAT. And people feel that, man. They, customers feel that. You guys are where you are because they feel the connection between you. They feel like you're really trying to provide, even me, you're trying to pull out tips. You want your customers to get value. people feel that. And that's something that often is neglected.
Starting point is 00:25:12 When you look back on everything you do, what was the first big break that you had? The first break I ever had was at 22 years old, right after college, I got signed to a record deal. And I signed to a record label called Delicious Vinyl in California. And the reason why it was the biggest moment in my life, even to this date other than meeting my wife, is because my dad, I had no connections.
Starting point is 00:25:40 My dad owned the plumbing supply. I didn't have a lawyer. I didn't have a manager. I didn't have an agent. I had nothing. And I went to 14, like I said, all these record companies on my own. I would sit in the lobby and hand them a cassette tape that I made on my answering machine with my, like, I know. And I got rejected, rejected, rejected.
Starting point is 00:26:02 And then I got a deal. And what that did to me, and for anyone listening, I think this is. is the lesson, is it proved to me that if I stay with something that matters to me, I can be successful. And it proved to me that, wow, I could do this myself. I don't need, you know, like, if I just did this myself, what else can I do? And, you know, when people were on a day after here when we're recording this of the New York Marathon, for all the people that just ran the New York Marathon, they proved to themselves, all the first timers that they, you know, can go further than they've ever gone in their life. And it's sending a message. They prove to
Starting point is 00:26:41 themselves that they have more in the tank. And the lesson is that like our greatest problem is the limitations we put on ourselves are often self-imposed. So when you break through those limitations, it opens up this thing like, wow, I'm going to go double my business plan. Like I got more in me. Like, let's double the business plan here, man. So I got that at 21. And then it was like, okay, all right, I'm going to start a jet company. I have no airplanes. I have no money. I don't know anybody really that is in, I don't know anyone in aviation.
Starting point is 00:27:16 We started a private jet company with no airplanes and no money and did $5 billion in sales. It wouldn't to happen if I didn't get the record deal. If I went to door number one and they said, you're out of here. And I said, oh, okay, I stink. I'm not sitting here with you guys. Yeah, it's just. flexing that muscle and being able to understand that you can break past what you think you can do originally. And I think like, again, going back to enjoying 20s and 30s, the way that you think as you
Starting point is 00:27:44 start to notch some of these winds under your belt and start to prove, I mean, even little things, like going from the cold plunge and doing a minute and then going to two, the next time you're going to realize like, okay, I'm not going to even think about a minute because I know already, I know I can do two. Like, that's the floor now. You're just setting these little things. And I think about that in business and in relationships and everything else. Like, once you know you can break past a, so that's your new starting point. Like, that's not the end now. That's the beginning. 100%. And by the way, I'm not suggesting that you don't work hard in business in your 20s, but, you know, time is undefeated. And you're never getting your 20, no one's beaten time.
Starting point is 00:28:16 And the only way that you can really even compete is to do things that time can't take away. So, for example, I just rode my bike across the country with 10 friends. If I were to get sick tomorrow and couldn't do that again, time can't take that away. I already did it. It can't take away Marquis Jett or my record deal or selling carrot and celery sticks. I already did it. So what I'm saying is in your 20s when you have an opportunity, even in any age, if you have an opportunity to create a memory or a moment or do something, you take it and you get more of those opportunities, usually in your 20s because just, you know, you're young and vibrant, healthy enough to do it. And that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Take advantage of that. We were talking, Michael and I were talking before alone about my dad who passed away recently from Alzheimer's. And, you know, I had never really had grief in my life. I've had such a lucky life. I mean, the luckiest situation, you know. Never really experienced anyone super close to me, dying, just came from a great house, married a great girl, have healthy kids. I mean, I always say to Sarah, like,
Starting point is 00:29:29 look where we are right now, because how does it get better? Like, you know, your parents are alive. Like, it's important to take time and think about that stuff, man. Like, we got healthy kids. You know how lucky we are that we have healthy kids? Like, do you think you have problems?
Starting point is 00:29:44 I don't think there's any greater stress than when a kid gets sick and I, like, when I think about parents that go through that. It's like, I don't know anything. I don't think there's anything worse. Right. So when my dad passed away,
Starting point is 00:29:54 I had no regrets because I completely emptied the tank in our relationship. And he emptied the tank in his relationship with me. And like when you pour all your soul into something, you don't have any regrets. For me, I don't, like, I feel weird just talking about this. But like I really live my life. I feel like this is like a memoir for me. You guys are getting me emotional. Like pouring so much soul into what I do.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Like I was saying about the relationship. and stuff. When you say you you guys poured everything out of the tanks in the relationship, do you just mean like you guys, like you got everything you needed to get out with each other? You went through every issue. You talked about everything you wanted to talk. I mean, I don't think a lot
Starting point is 00:30:38 I think a lot of people unfortunately don't get there with their parents. Very rare. No, I know. And I feel so lucky about that. And like my dad showed up for everything. You know, every picture in my photo book, my parents are in it. Of big moments in my life. They're in every picture.
Starting point is 00:30:54 And when I had kids, I didn't get a manual, but I had my mom and my dad. For a lot of people growing up, when they become parents, if they didn't have a great relationship or they came from a maybe dysfunctional household, like maybe their role models were someone they saw on, the parents they saw on, like on TV, like the Brady Bunch or the, you know, whoever. Like, so I got to experience that and now I get to pass it on to my kids. No, I think that's huge. And to your point, like not a lot of people are that.
Starting point is 00:31:24 that lucky. So when your dad was going through Alzheimer's, how early on did you know that that's what it was? And what did you do personally to kind of manage it? Because that's a very, my grandmother passed from Alzheimer's, and I obviously was closer, but not nearly as close as I am with my father. I imagine that was extremely trying on you. How do you manage that and stay patient and not get frustrated and still, you know, give him the care that he needs? Well, the crazy thing is if we were all born 100 years ago, if we were born 100 years ago, where do your parents live? They live in San Diego still.
Starting point is 00:31:59 And what about you, learn? San Diego. Yeah, so you guys live 2,000 miles from your parents. If we were born 100 years ago, you live in the same house. You know, we're in the same block or in the same town and wherever you base. No one was living 2,000 miles away. Sure. You know.
Starting point is 00:32:15 And now I'm here. My brother's in Florida. My mom's over here. Everyone's so scattered. So in my 30s, 40s, in 50s, because I went right, I went from college right to the pros. You know, I was right in it. And my parents moved down to Florida. Like, I didn't see him that much. I mean, I thought I did, but maybe I saw him three times a year. So from 20 to 70, if I saw him two times a year,
Starting point is 00:32:41 I saw him like 100 times ever again in my life, you know? And in their, when I got older and kids, you know, is my parents, I see him like twice a year. So the last five years of my parents' life, think about it. If you only see your parents a couple times a year and they live, you see them twice a year, they live five years, you get 10 visits with them. It got like, I wish I had that time back. I don't think I've heard anyone ever contextualize it that way. It gets your wheels spinning a lot more, especially as you have aging parents. If you start to think about it in terms of visits instead of years. Yeah, I mean, I was talking to my friends the other day because like, you know, I'm 55 and I had a group of entrepreneurs that I was coaching at my house. And I was saying, like, where are you
Starting point is 00:33:19 going to be five years from now? No one really can answer it. But I said, no, think about it. think about it. Like, my mom's 92. So in five years, my son is 14, one of my oldest son. So in five years from now, I doubt, my mom, I hope she's here, but like, is she going to live to be 97? I don't know, man. My son will be in college. I'll be 60. I'll be 60, 20 years from 80. Like, so when I think about that, it creates a lot of urgency around what I want to do right now and how I want to spend the time with my son, you know, because if he's in college, he's gone. So, you know, when you think of, when you think about five people, no, but people are so obsessed with right now. What am I doing this weekend? What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving? It's in two weeks. Well, what's your,
Starting point is 00:34:09 what does it look like for you in five years? When you're 42 and, you know, and your daughters are now in going into eighth or ninth grade, you know, whatever, eighth grade, what does that look like for you? I'm dying that you're calling it my daughters because it's a daughter and a son, but I have to tell you something really funny. I was close. As a side note, no, no, everyone thinks that he is a girl because he has such long hair. Oh, I didn't even think about that. His hair is so long. And ever, the other day someone said to Michael, have I been saying daughters?
Starting point is 00:34:40 I love it. It's really, it's really funny though, because someone came up to Michael like this old guy at church the other day and he said, you have a beautiful daughter. And we're not, we're like dressing him appropriately. But he's long hair. I just sat in a sauna that was 297 degrees for 45 minutes. No, I think it's funny that you keep saying daughters. It's hysterical. No, but I mean, well, yes. Sorry towns. But it, you know, I think to your point, looking at time that way is such a different approach. Unfortunately, I think many people, I mean, you know, time is undefeated, like you said. And I think sometimes we think we have a lot more than we actually do. Right. All, we're, we're, we're. We're. We're, we're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're all living longer, these long beautiful lives, but I think when you contextualize it into visits or time with kids or time, it starts to feel a lot smaller. Yeah, I mean, I always like to think of it in terms of summers because the average American lives to be 78. So even if you're 37, that's only 40 summers left, you know, and like, that's not a lot of summers or 40 ski trips
Starting point is 00:35:47 or whatever. And when you think of it that way, you know, like, you don't want to waste a minute of those summers, you know? It just forces you to be, at least for me, it repositions me to be a doer. Just being aware of it makes me want to take the trip I wasn't going to take or not or not push it back. Because you don't want to waste the summer. You don't want to waste the time.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Let me tell you about a hack that has saved my life. I need my sleep. And I have two kids under three. So it's a lot. One thing I have done that I could not live without, though, is I've implemented a gently weighted sleep sock. The one that I use is by Dreamland Baby. It's so cute. It's neutral. But most importantly, my baby, Towns, associates it with sleep. So when I pull it out, he knows it's time to go to bed and he immediately calms down because it's gently weighted.
Starting point is 00:36:42 And it makes so much sense because I use a weighted blanket at night and it does something to your nervous system that just like immediately relaxes you. So this one is very, very slightly weighted. it just gives you a feeling like the baby is like in a hug and it helps them sleep. It helps them stay asleep too. This is one gift that I will give every single new mother. Like all my friends who are new mothers, I'm like, you have to try this. It's super interesting. The brand was created by this woman who noticed when she put throw blanket on her baby,
Starting point is 00:37:18 he would immediately calm down. So she had this moment and she's like, oh my God, I have to create these gently weighted sleep sacks. And she did. And she called it Dreamland Baby. And it is literally saving lives everywhere. Go to Dreamlandbabyco.com and InnerR Code Skinny at checkout. You receive 20% offsite wide and free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers. Dreamlandbabyco.com inner our code skinny. One thing I do not screw around with and one thing that I do not change because I love it so much is my multivitamin. The one that I take has a heavy emphasis on A lot of people don't get vitamin D in their diet. So this is really important. It is by ritual. You know it.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Essential for women, 18 plus. Why I'm obsessed with this brand is everything is traceable. So you can go on and you can actually see where there are high quality ingredients come from. Everything is clean and bioavailable. And most importantly, there's nine key nutrients in their two delayed release capsules. So I take two per day. I do it on an empty stomach. It's super gentle on an empty stomach. It has like a minty essence. So it's It's not harsh in the morning. And this is a brand that I've been taking throughout the last three years. I took the prenatal when I was pregnant with Zaza. I took the postnatal after both my babies.
Starting point is 00:38:35 And I just believe in the brand so much so that I even had the founder on. I just love her ethos and her mission. It's absolutely incredible. Ritual of multivitamins are vegan non-GMO Project Verified, gluten and major allergen-free, certified B-Corp and made traceable, like I said. We have a code for you. Obviously, no more shady business. Ritual is essential for women 18 plus is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com slash skinny.
Starting point is 00:39:05 This offer is only available through January 31st, start ritual or add Essential for Women 18 plus to your subscription today. That's ritual.com slash skinny for 40% off. Quick break to talk about Hinge. I am sitting here looking at my producer Carson and we were talking the other day. I did this whole poll in the office. I say, hey, what is the best dating app out there? And Carson said, I found my current girl on Hinge. And then many of the women in this office also said that they had found their partners on Hinge. So what is Hinge? Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted. Why, Hinge gives you a sense of someone's personality and lets you share your own. You get to know potential dates through their unique answers to prompts. Plus, get a sense of someone's dating
Starting point is 00:39:51 intentions and what they're looking for. I think this is for the serious data, the person who's actually interested in developing meaningful relationships. I love that this app is designed to be deleted because it means it's designed to get people in actual relationships with people that they can actually build a life with. When it comes to successful online dating, the office results are in. Hinge seems to be the clear winner where people are finding meaningful, lasting relationships, where people can actually get to know people in a meaningful way and where they can authentically share themselves as well. So definitely check it out if you're thinking about getting into the online dating scene or you're looking to switch it up and meet new people. So if you're somebody who's sick
Starting point is 00:40:27 of putting yourselves out there and not getting a reciprocal return and you just want to meet quality people who are looking for quality relationships, not trying to mess around, not trying to play the field, looking to get in a serious relationship with a like-minded person, definitely check out the Hinge app. Download Hinge and find someone worth deleting the app for now. Again, download the Hinge app on the App Store now. What's so interesting to me about you is that you have done so many things after another. So what I'm trying to say is I think a lot of young guys that make money would have a hit like you had with your jet situation. And then they would kind of maybe open a restaurant or try something else or put the kind of sit on the money.
Starting point is 00:41:15 But you kept going. You are a doer. What propels that? When you sold your first company, did you immediately want to do something else? Have you always been like someone who wants that momentum? I think for me, like a couple of things come to mind. For starters, when I'm at the end of the journey, I don't want to look back and be like I was the 80% version of me. I don't want to be like, that's a B minus.
Starting point is 00:41:37 I don't want to be a B minus. So it's, and I don't, I'm not one to celebrate like past. I don't have any pictures. I don't know a marquee jet hat or Zico, coconut, any of the businesses that I have. I don't have any, like, it's done. I'm like, okay, I did that. What, like, I have, like, a what's next mentality. And that's just the way that I'm wired.
Starting point is 00:41:57 I love newness and challenges. And I still have an underdog mentality. I still, like, I never got all fancy, you know. I still, I'm still hungry. I still feel like I have a chip on my shoulder, like, a lot to prove. I'm competitive. So I think all of those things come into play. How do you think you can, you, if somebody,
Starting point is 00:42:18 wants to have more of those traits. How do you think you can cultivate that? Do you think you can or do you think that's something you're born with? Again, I can only talk about it from my own perspective. Let me answer it this way. My son, my brother asked me how my son was doing in swimming. He's a pretty good swimmer when he was like nine. And I'm like, he's, you know, he's doing a right, but he just doesn't have that eye of the tiger. And my brother said, oh, that's okay, as long as he's happy. And I'm like, nah, he's happy playing Fortnite and eating Hagenaz. is that really what we want? Like, is shitty like try to reach his potential?
Starting point is 00:42:56 Like he's so to me it's like it's that common for everybody. I think it's like we all have so much potential. There's so much opportunity in front of all of us, regardless of our skill levels. I think it's important. At least for me it's important. Like I feel like I have so much more in me. I feel like I haven't even done the big thing yet. I really do.
Starting point is 00:43:18 I feel like, I just feel like that. I feel very driven. I think also, you know, I talk to a lot of young men especially, and I think people glamorize the hit. Like, I'm going to do this and I'm going to have this one big hit and then I'm going to be happy and then I'm going to settle down. And I try to tell people that like, it's not the hit that you, that you're actually going to like as much as the process and continuing to get better at that process. I agree with you. And I think when I look back on my journey, what I'm most proud of is, I've had a couple of exits in business. I've had a lot of failures too. I've had a lot of businesses that didn't work, or certainly a few. But what I'm really proud of is, you know, how I did it, first of all. But also that, like,
Starting point is 00:44:07 on the other side of that business, which took a lot of energy, I've really invested a lot in my life resume. Because like that's my business resume. But equally, if not more important, is your life resume. So I just, I mentioned earlier like the bike ride across the country, those kind of things like to mix adventure and spend time with my kids and have great relationships with my friends and all that is, again, back to the spiritual side is so important. So it's not so much like selling a company than starting another one. To me, that was just business. I don't even really sell it. I never think about it. But I think about my life resume a lot, you know, the adventures I want to take. And as we enter 2024, you know, before the show started, I was showing you guys this
Starting point is 00:44:57 calendar that I had and how I kind of map out. I'm a big planner. I'm like calendar. I'm like calendar obsessive. I feel like if you don't plan it, it won't happen. And like it's hard to create newness. Because we live in routine. Yep. It's like, where does newness come from? You have to, like, plan it. You know? And I've been doing something for the last...
Starting point is 00:45:18 I didn't even realize I was doing it, but now I know I'm doing it. Now I plan it. But I do three things every year around this time that really helped me with that life resume. The first thing that I do is there's an old Japanese ritual. Have you guys ever heard of this? Called them a Sogi. Yeah, it's like a challenge that's almost unattainable.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Yeah. It almost breaks you. but you can Michael's the fourth Japanese. Yeah. You would never know that way. Yeah, yeah. So we've kind of taken the liberty to tweak that, but the notion around it is that like you do one big year defining thing a year. So like at the end of 2003, we're working so hard.
Starting point is 00:45:54 We have families like, what do you have to show for it? What do you do? You know, it's important that you can look back on your journey and be like, in 2015, I wrote a book, Living with the Seal. 2017, I launched a new company. 2019, we started our podcast. Like, what's that one? So every year, I have one big year defining thing. And so I put that on my calendar.
Starting point is 00:46:14 And it doesn't always have to be a business thing. It could be like, was the bike thing? Right. Just anything that's challenging. So I do that. And I'm going to tell you why this is important and you're going to freak out. The second thing I do is I add every other month I do something I normally want to done on like one weekend day.
Starting point is 00:46:30 So like instead of watching the Georgia football game, I might take my kids fishing. I might go to a museum. I might go to a lecture. I do like a mini adventure. So I'll do like every other month, every eight weeks, I should be able to take a day, like one out of every, you know, 60 days to do something I normally went to done. So at the end of the year, I'll have six little mini adventures. Now here's why that's so important. If you're 37, I'm just going to go to you, Michael, for a second, I'm looking at you.
Starting point is 00:46:57 And again, you live to be 77, the average American. You're going to live way longer, especially the way you're doing your biohacking. But that's 40 years. That would give you 40. You're defining things on your life resume. 40 unbelievable things. And that will give you 240 mini adventures that you didn't have. If you're 78 and you have 40 insane events in your life and 240 mini adventures,
Starting point is 00:47:25 like you crushed life. Forgetting about the business. You fucking crushed life. And how do you decide what these mini adventures are? They could be like, I just, I'm just super intentional about, adding things throughout the year that I normally went to done. And usually it's around my friends. It could just be like my college friends come over.
Starting point is 00:47:46 You know, I took my son to Washington, D.C. on a father's son trip last year. You know, we went skiing. It's just things like that. And I put them on my calendar. Because if you don't, your calendar, if you don't put them on your calendar early, your calendar is going to fill up with Zoom calls,
Starting point is 00:48:02 weddings, appointments, kids sporting events, you know. And then you have nothing to show for it. Lauren and my best friend, they make fun of me because they're like, why is this guy planning these trips and these excursions? I don't make fun of you. I love it. I'm obsessed with it. Keep planning it. I'm going to put it on my big ass calendar. You keep planning it. Similar to you, I feel if I don't plan it that way, it's just not going to get done. I'm going to get stuck running this. Are you a planner? I'm a planner like a psycho from a micro perspective, but like day to day. Yes. Michael's looking way far out. I'm more detail. He's more like, like, I always like get, you know, my,
Starting point is 00:48:38 crossed a bear and sometimes I get in trouble is that it maybe sometimes live too far in the future. I don't live in the past at all. I don't think about what happened yesterday. When you said that you should have your like five years written out, he has his five years written out in months. Yeah, he's very that's the Japanese in him.
Starting point is 00:48:54 Yeah, but I, like I'm, that's my problem is like I go so far sometimes that I got to bring it down. He will be talking about like one more 62. I'm like, can I just get through the fucking morning? I need a coffee and like I need to get a workout in this. Here's why. And I hate to be one of these corny people. But everything I've ever written down, and even if it's vague, if it's written down
Starting point is 00:49:14 a year two, three, I've either hit it or gone past it. And I look back on some of this writing because I keep the notes. And I read it sometimes to be like, oh, wow, look what I thought I could do compared to what I actually did. And this could be anything. Be like, I want to like be able to get in shape or I want to, you know, be able to run this far. I want to go to lift little things. But I think sometimes the difficulty of my personal life is if I'm living. too far, you have to anchor yourself sometimes with the presence. But to your point, I don't think about the past. If I have a success or if I sell a win, it's like that happened, I move for it. I can't, I don't think on it. If someone upsets me, I don't think on it, I don't dwell on it. Never angry with
Starting point is 00:49:51 anybody. It's just like, go, go, go. Yeah, I'm very similar in that. When you move from your first company to your second company, how do you decide to go from what you're doing to beverage? Like, what's the interim? I want to know, like, what is going through your head of how you decide to do something that's completely different on your next business. So I follow my enthusiasm. Let me tell you where I'm at now and then I'm going to go back to when I was 20. Now, it's aggravation versus reward. Like, I want low aggravation. So if something is high aggravation, but it might have high reward. You have to weigh the aggravation factor. Give an example of what you mean by that. Well, like I had an idea recently that had to do with aviation,
Starting point is 00:50:32 making commercial aviation feel like private aviation. It was a big idea. And, and, And I had a partner lined up and I showed the whole plant and my wife. And she's like, this is an unbelievable idea. Don't do it. And I was like, what are you talking about? This is bigger than Marquis JET. Like, this is huge. She's like, it is.
Starting point is 00:50:51 But do you want to take calls at 2 in the morning from a customer that shows up? Do you want to, blah, blah, blah. Do you want to go to Japan? And I was like, no. She's like, it's just not worth it at this stage of your life. So it was a high aggravation to build it, to build a team, to get a CEO, to build the infrastructure, so I decided not to do it. So that would be an example of that. Another example would be like getting into a partnership for a great idea. But the people, like, I'm on friend
Starting point is 00:51:19 reduction right now. I'm on friend reduction. What is friend reduction? Like I don't, like, if it's a high aggravation management team or I don't love the guys or girls that are doing it, that would be another example of high aggravation. Like this is just, this person's like, always down or you know always down or you know so that that would be another high aggravation person friend reduction is just like I've outgrown a lot of my friends and they've outgrown me which is okay we were great friends when we were 30s but you know like you've changed so much just yeah I have four kids and I'm married yeah I'm not getting invited to as many bachelor parties as I'm not going to the bar like you're single yeah I've changed you're right
Starting point is 00:52:06 I always say, like, Lauren says, are you upset your friends or at call? I'm like, listen, I got two young kids at home. My friend, I'm not out at the bars or the clubs. And I can't be. I look like a total creep if I was. Exactly. It's just what it is. It's not that I don't love those guys more that we didn't have great times.
Starting point is 00:52:21 It's just like they're single. I'm not. Wait 10 more years and watch what happens because you have friends. You know, of the 10 guys that I rode my bike across the country with, I only knew one of them 10 years. And now they're like my closest friends. Nine of those guys I met over the last 10 years. So, you know, your friend groups are going to change as you get older and your friends are going to become the parents of your children's friends and people you meet in school. Like I said, your life in the beginning when we opened up this talk, your life model is going to evolve and that's okay.
Starting point is 00:52:53 So what when you decided to switch career, or I guess you didn't switch, but you decided to move on to the next thing. Was that a lot of aggravation and no shows? So that's now. So back then it was enthusiasm. I saw an opportunity. You know, like I switched from private aviation to coconut water. Entrepreneurs do one or two things.
Starting point is 00:53:13 They either make something that exists better or they create something new. And I'm a runner. So I had this private jet company. I'm a big runner. I was training for a hundred mile race that I did. And I did a lot of research around hydration and nutrition
Starting point is 00:53:29 and discovered coconut water. And this is in 2006. So I started drinking coconut water. I felt great. And I'm like, this is the fountain of youth. Like this is going to be the next big thing in beverage. And that's what led me on. And there was nothing in the marketplace.
Starting point is 00:53:46 So as an entrepreneur, saw an opportunity to create something new, bring something new to the market. And I was really, and I had a lot of enthusiasm about that. You know, if the passion, you could have a great idea, but if the passion isn't there, you know, the obstacles are going to be too big. You have to have the passion and the enthusiasm around the journey, not even your widget, around the journey of what you signed up for for it to be successful. Do you know what I mean by that? Yeah, I think when people, sometimes when we speak, and the last time we saw you, we were all speaking, I always say to people, like, that when people say, hey, if you find your passion, you won't work a day in your life,
Starting point is 00:54:26 there's some truth to that. But the thing is, you're always going to work. It's just the passion gives you the ability to get through all the shit that comes with the work. Yeah. I never like selling airplanes at Markey Jet. And like we had a private jet. That's what we did. We sold airplanes. But I had an incredible enthusiasm for the customer service, for meeting people, for building the relationships, for like the journey of that entrepreneurial. It wasn't about the airplanes. People think it's like always the product. Of course you have to believe in your product and like your product. But I had such a passion for like starting this company that it didn't matter if it was, you know, whatever it was. it happened to be airplanes that I was going to get behind it. Yeah, I always get nervous. We talked a little bit about this in the sauna. Sometimes you'll hear people, and maybe they haven't ever had a business or they haven't worked, and they're telling people,
Starting point is 00:55:13 you find your passion, you don't work, and do these. It's like you're always going to have to work. You're always going to have to work in the gym. We're going to work in yourself. You're going to work in a relationship. We're going to work in your business. But the excitement and the passion enables you to get through all of that when it gets really challenging, which it inevitably will in every area.
Starting point is 00:55:28 I totally agree. And that's why I think it's important to have things on your calendar. that excite you because if you're stuck at a job that you don't love or you know or or you're on a downward spiral or whatever and you have something on your calendar that you're excited for it changes the game a little bit you know like it really gives you something to look forward to and it becomes your north star and and that's really helped me a lot getting through certain situations like this is a tough time but i'm i'm going to puerto rico and thanksgiving it's going You know, it helps me get there.
Starting point is 00:56:00 What point through all of this in your career did you meet your wife? And how did you guys meet? Was it like a first date? As a husband and a father, you've obviously done very well as relevant to talk about. Yeah, I met my wife later in life. So I met Sarah had Spanx. She started Spanx when she was, I want to say like 28, 30, something like that. And I met her when she was 36 and I was, I got married at 40 and Sarah was 37.
Starting point is 00:56:29 And you had already sold your beverage company by this time. I sold Marquis Jett and I sold the beverage company a year into our marriage. And she still owned 100% of Spanx. And she was a customer of ours at Marquis Jett. We met at a party that we had in Vegas. And we got married a year later. Did you guys like each other right away? So the way that this was set up was we had 4,000 customers.
Starting point is 00:56:57 every rep from each territory was allowed to invite one person. So Georgia, our Georgia sales rep was allowed to invite one person to this party, this poker tournament we're having in Vegas. And the Georgia rep sent a picture of Sarah. She had like an apple on her head. It was like a promo picture. And I was like, don't send anyone other pictures or anyone. Make sure she goes to the Vegas.
Starting point is 00:57:18 Make sure she comes. And yeah, we were married a year later. So you guys were synergistic. No, I knew. I don't think she did. I had to like, I had to put on a hole. It took me like, I had to fight. I think it's so cool because you guys are both powerhouses on your own and you've been able to come together and support each other without from what I see you guys are cheerleading
Starting point is 00:57:41 each other. There's no jealousy. That's not always the case. I've interviewed a lot of people where there's been divorces because the husband can't handle the woman's success or the woman can't handle the man's success. How have you guys maintained such a synergistic? happy marriage with four children. I mean, what are the tips? You said, what, 16 years now? Yeah, 15. And four kids.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I think part of it is we got married later in life. Uh-huh. And, you know, Sarah, to go through all of her 20s and 30s, like, you know, when are you going to get married? Are you dating anyone? Like, you know, and she went all the way to 37,
Starting point is 00:58:17 not all the way, but she was 37. And so, so, but she was already independent with Spanx and I was independent. That helped a little bit, you know, getting married later. I was more mature. I wasn't ready to get married.
Starting point is 00:58:31 And neither was she in our 20s or even our early 30s. She was focused on her business. You know, but to answer your question, so I think that helps. No, I think, look, when Sarah's star is shining bright, I'm her biggest cheerleader. And when my star shines, she's my biggest cheerleader. Without that, like, it would be so weird. I don't know. So, no, and part of being in a partnership is like when you struggle, the other person feels it.
Starting point is 00:59:04 You know, and like we both share in that. And it's worked out great. But it's, you know, it's, I could see how it could be really hard to be married to a successful woman. Well, I think this is, you know, we talked about this a little bit when we got out of the sauna. I think a lot of men struggle if they are not maybe the main breadwinner or the main star. of the household. I mean, that's, you know, the way that most people, the most examples of a household, especially our generation is like, the guy went to work, the mom stayed home. Like, you know, that's obviously changed drastically. My example as a kid is my mom always worked. So I've
Starting point is 00:59:41 always been attracted to women that we're doing that kind of thing. But I think a lot of men are excited for their wife or their girlfriend until all of a sudden maybe the wife or their girlfriend starts to be more successful in some area. And I wonder your perspective on that. I love, I mean, I love when great things happen to Sarah and I'm always asking her like, how can I support her in that? And she does the same for me. And I think that's what a team. That's an important part of it of a team.
Starting point is 01:00:09 There's zero competition at all. And we're a team. You know, it's like if she's winning, our family is winning, if she's losing. And we share that with our kids too. You know, we have family dinner almost every night and or certainly if we're both in town every night. And, you know, we talk about these things. Like we ask our kids like what happened this week that was good at school?
Starting point is 01:00:30 What happened that wasn't good at school? And we have family meetings on Sunday mornings and everyone gets to talk about their week. And then each one of my sons and my daughter, their brothers and sisters stick up for each other. Like it's important that that team and that family unit is aligned. So it's not just Sarah and I. It's even our kids, you know? I mean, yeah, so communication is really important. It sounds like that with the story that you told about your big idea when you told her.
Starting point is 01:01:03 And she said, do you really want to be doing it? It sounds like you guys are very like aligned as a team. Yeah, we are. I mean, sometimes she'll give me input and I'll be like, no, this is, I really want to do it. Uh-huh. And again, you have to come to your own senses and you have to be. make it seem like it's their idea, even though it's not their idea, and it's the woman's idea, and we've puppeteered the whole thing. It's exhausting. Yeah. Oh, my God. And then the other, like,
Starting point is 01:01:33 it's just business. Like, we don't, we're not defined by that. You know, I guess outside Sarah's known as the Spanx girl. I mean, you're the Spanx lady. She gets that a lot, but we never talk about it. Like, we're not, she's not defined by it in our house. You know, she's Charlie's mom. She's Tepper's my like we don't I never talk about my I never even think about business or my or the what the public thinks like I never think about that I'm thinking about how do I get my kids better for their football game. How do they do better on a test? How do I help them deal with like bullying and like how do they say thank you and please like that's the only thing on my mind? How are you guys with all your successes going to raise kids like like what like how are you doing it in this day and age?
Starting point is 01:02:17 It's really, it's how, how do you also, there, there is such a gray area with this in a finesse of how to raise children with, you guys have been so successful. How do you keep them humble? I'm just curious, like, how you guys look at it. The hardest thing for me is, as a parent is one of the hardest things is recognizing that like, our children on their own journey. And it's not my journey. So like, you know, like, I used to play basketball till midnight at my mom. Like, Jesse, get inside. my kid wants to play my oldest son wants to play fortnight and i can't be like that's his journey so at first that would tear me apart i'd like why aren't you outside playing basketball that's what i did when i was a kid and then i'd be like whoops like that's this is his journey he doesn't
Starting point is 01:03:03 want to play basketball you can make a shitload of money playing fortnight the shitload those those kids make billions of dollars now he told me all the time he's like basically i know you're right i would not be surprised if i'm interviewing your son in 10 years Get inside and play Fortnite. Listen, my... Stay inside and play... You need more... He's sitting on the mic.
Starting point is 01:03:21 I'm like, so how was your child? He's like, well, my dad used to tell me that I should go play basketball, but all I really wanted to do is play Fortnite. I always say my dad used to give me so much shit for playing video games all time when I was a kid. And so I quit and I was like, if I was born a little bit later, I'd be a multimillionaire Fortnite streamer instead of a podcaster. Right.
Starting point is 01:03:39 Right. This is like the opportunities that exist. But still, no, I hear what you're saying. It's just we think about this all the time. It's just... I want to keep my kids humble and grateful. And like you said, saying thank you. And I want to make sure without micromanaging it, it's a finesse.
Starting point is 01:03:54 No, but I want to also like I don't, there's this book that Lauren and I are reading together in bed. I've just, it's, it's a weird, interesting book that I stumbled across on Amazon. It's, it's 32 letters from Rockefeller to his son. And the very first letter starts out with basically saying, your start does not guarantee where you finish. and he's basically coaching his son saying you're going to start a lot further than where I did. It's phenomenal. It's such a good book. It's such a good book.
Starting point is 01:04:24 It's unbelievable. He talks about how he had very humble upbringings and how his books in high school were given to him by neighbors and how he had to work for $5 a week and all this stuff. And his son was obviously going to start off the heels of the richest man in the world. And he basically coaches, like was basically warning him like you have to put in this effort. And he tells this story about these kids. kids that, he's like, they're self-made millionaires. And this guy says, yeah, they started with 20 and now they only have one. And the letters are interesting because Lauren and I, obviously, we want to work and we want to, you know, are able to provide? But at the same time, we want to go back to what you were
Starting point is 01:05:00 talking about earlier, which is like, how do you give these kids enough grit so that they don't rest on their laurels? Yeah. You know, for Sarah and I, we try to, like, the most important thing is, is our children's self-esteem, that they have good self-esteem. So we want to do things that boost their self-esteem. So part of that is putting them in situations. Like, we praise the effort. We praise the effort. So it's not like, oh, you scored three touchdowns today. It's like, you know, I love watching all that hard work you did this week paid off. You know, I love watching how hard you tried. It's always the, we praise the effort. And then, you know, disappointment's been stripped from kids. They make every team. There's participation trophies. You have to,
Starting point is 01:05:44 invite every kid to the birthday party and where our kids go to school like every kid in the classroom has to go to the birthday parties and disappointment's a part of life like you can't take away disappointment in a kid's childhood you can't like you know so my dad when they used to throw out of baseball catch if my mitt was down my dad would let the ball hit me in the face instead of catching it and like i want to block every ball that comes at my kids but you need to get hit in the face sometimes and we have to let our children experience disappointment. So nothing to do with money, nothing to do with stat. Like, let your kids, it's okay.
Starting point is 01:06:23 They need to have a coping mechanism. So those little things are really important. Self-esteem is really important, you know, sticking off for yourself, feeling good about, so doing things that make your kids feel good about themselves is really important. And we try to put them in situations, not give them,
Starting point is 01:06:44 put them in situations where they can experience that. And what are things that you guys might consider disciplining them for? Like, is there a behavior or something that they would maybe do that you're saying, like, hey, we don't allow that. Or like, Lauren and I would say, like, if our kids ever bullying anyone, like, that's going to be a big problem for them. Absolutely. I think the most, I think that's an individual decision for each parent.
Starting point is 01:07:06 But I think, you know, when you're dating, you never, before you get married, I never said to Sarah. How do you want to discipline our kids when we have children? Do you want to send them to a religious school? Do you want them to date within our religion or, like, do you want them to eat healthy foods or fast food? Like, we never had that conversation ever. When we were dating, I was like, when we were engaged,
Starting point is 01:07:30 I'm like, okay, let's talk about the children we don't have and get aligned. So more importantly, is like being aligned on that stuff now. So like, it's less about how we do it. It's more about we have to be aligned on it. And if we're not aligned, like we had this the other night. We had a disagreement about something over like food or something, like late at night. In the old days, Sarah or I, I'm saying Sarah, but could easily be me, would correct each other in front of the kids. I'd like, oh, no, Sarah.
Starting point is 01:08:08 They can't, you know, and we would like disagree or I would trump her. No, your mom is not right. You know, it's okay. She, you know, but now two nights ago, I was like, sweetie, can I talk for your second? It was more like this. Sweetie, can I talk to you for a second in private over here? It wasn't. And then I was like, please don't ever do that again.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Like you trumped me, which takes away my authority. So, and we had a conversation. And so those things are really important. Just a tip. No, no, no. It's hard. We're both guilty of trumping each other. To do it in, you know, and then and then the other thing I would say about that is I was giving a speech and in the afternoon.
Starting point is 01:08:57 I always go to listen to the speakers before. Like I love, I love, I'm a student of public speaking. So I love listening to lectures and talks. And there were all these breakout groups. And there was one gal at a breakout session about parenting and marriage. So I went to it. It was phenomenal. By the way, and now we work together.
Starting point is 01:09:20 I hired her as a coach and now we work together in my programs and whatever. Dr. Karen, Karen Gordon, she's amazing. And one of the things that she said in this talk was, it's important that your kids see that mommy and daddy come first. And I'd always been taught that kids come first. It's like, oh, no, it's our kids. No, like they have to know that mommy and daddy are right and that like we go on dates and that
Starting point is 01:09:45 we're connected. That's got to be the number one thing. I completely agree with that. That they come second because otherwise they're running the house. Yeah. Yeah. And they feel like they have almost leverage over you. 100%.
Starting point is 01:09:59 You have to show leverage as synergy as parents. Just like you show synergy in business. You have to show it to the kids and show them who's boss. No, it's incredible how even at a. young age, how quickly they can try to flip that and take authority over you if you're not careful. This one's for the pet lovers out there, the dog lovers. If you're not a dog lover, not a pet lover, what the hell are you doing? Listen to this show. We love the farmer's dog so much. This has been a longtime partner that we use every single day in our household for our pets that we love so much.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Lord and I spend so much time talking about different ways that we can take care of ourselves and not enough time talking about how to take care of our furry friends, our pets, the ones that give us the most love in life. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the farmer's dog, it's developed by vets, nutritionally balanced, and made from real healthy ingredients to human food safety standards. It's the best option for dogs at all life stages because it's not kibble, it's not canned goo. It's just real healthy food. Again, why would you not want to give your pets real healthy food? Traditional dry and wet dog food options are highly processed, can use much lower quality ingredients they claim to and are extremely difficult to portion accurately.
Starting point is 01:11:11 The farmer's dog makes it super easy for us. They send these packets straight to our door and then we're able to portion control them for our pets every single day. They are thriving. They are happy. They get so excited whenever we pull out the packs. A fresh diet has been found out of all sorts of benefits from healthier coat and skin to better breath, even easier digestion and smaller, better poops.
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Starting point is 01:11:53 Quick break to talk about one of our longest running show partners, one of our favorite services, one of our favorite brands. And that is Thrive Market. Thrive Market has been our go-to for all of our grocery and household essentials for years now. I think since the history of this show, we might be going on seven, eight years running using Thrive Market. Longtime listeners will remember that they played a huge part in the early years of this show as one of our first partners. And we've continued to work with them because we love their service so much. I love that Thrive Market carries brands with the highest quality ingredients and sourcing methods. They restrict hundreds of ingredients across their food and cleaning categories.
Starting point is 01:12:29 And I can use their on-site filters to suit my lifestyle needs. So whether you're looking for organic kids, food, snacks, low sugar, alternatives, or gluten-free pantry essentials, you can curate your own shopping experience. Lauren and I for years have been using the service to find all of the healthiest, all of the cleanest, all of the best ingredients. Outside of finding the best products, best ingredients, and saving some money, you are also helping a family in need with their one-for-one membership matching program. They've done this for years. It's an incredible program. You can join and they give. So check out one of the best brands and best services on the market.
Starting point is 01:13:05 Join in on the savings with Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. Go to Thrivemarket.com slash skinny, 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T-R-I-V-E Market.com slash skinny. Thrivemarket.com slash skinny. Check it out. There are three things that I have every single day and I am addicted to them. and I am pretty strict with what I eat when I'm at home because I really like to do high protein and I'm like 80-20 so when I travel I'm like more of the 20 but when I'm at home there's three things
Starting point is 01:13:44 like I said that I eat and they are all by chroma wellness first thing they're beauty matcha oh my god it is so good I froth it with raw milk and some water and I do it over ice or I just do it with hot water. I do two scoops. And I feel like I'm getting a caffeine boost that taste delicious, that's super low sugar, but has protein in it. The next thing is, and this is something that Michael's also implemented into his diet, is they have this like kind of spicy, not too spicy, cranberry hydration elixir. And I'll use a frother again and froth it up with water and ice. And the last thing that I eat a scoop in bed is they have this, oh my God, cookie butter. and it has like goji berries on the top of it and it tastes like a cookie butter,
Starting point is 01:14:32 but it's chewy with the goji berries. I am telling you these three like sort of treats get me through my day. And Chroma is offering free shipping on all five-day resets through the end of January as well as an exclusive 15% discount for TSC listeners only. Go to Chroma Wellness.com and Intercode Skinny at checkout. The five-day reset is such a good one after the holidays. I would be crazy not to talk to you about daily routines, time management, productivity. What are things that you do to be the most productive?
Starting point is 01:15:10 I know you talked about the big ass calendar, but what are things that you do on a micro level? Do you employ certain people to do certain things? How do you stay so productive, so energized every single day? Well, you know, I don't have like a routine that like at six o'clock I get up and like four, by eight o'clock I do this. Like I feel like that's so much pressure and I can never, I'm not, just not the way I operate. I couldn't keep that.
Starting point is 01:15:34 So my routine, but, but the things that I like to do, like the, like sun and cold plunging, for example, is part of my routine, but I don't,
Starting point is 01:15:43 it's not like I do that every day at 10. It's just something I want to squeeze in during the day. So for starters, my day starts the night before. You hear so much about morning routines, but like evening routines. So I lay out my day for the following day in advance. So like,
Starting point is 01:15:58 I can't just wake up and wing it. Like the competition is too good. So like I have, I lay out my day the night before and I follow that schedule, but that schedule changes. Is this in Google Calendar? I handwrite it.
Starting point is 01:16:11 You handwrite it. See, this is why I love talking to all different entrepreneurs. You handwrite it. So the night before you sit down, you're like at 8 o'clock. There's all kinds of studies about handwriting versus. I've obsessed with it.
Starting point is 01:16:22 Tell us, so you sit down on just like a regular pad of paper and handwrite it. Yeah. Huh. And what are you writing? down you're writing your goals for the day or you ready specifically the time no i lay it out so i'd be like i'm gonna go i'm gonna run from eight to 10 you know i'm gonna exercise whatever 10 to four i'm working on whatever i have a call at one and i'll lay it so i'm like and i'm following it so that's the first thing
Starting point is 01:16:42 so like i don't wake up like what am i doing today yeah what's the best use of my time i do that every night and i have an assistant so we she sends it to me and i can tweak it but i have it all laid out that's the most important thing And then I used to put a lot of pressure on myself day to day. And now I think in terms of weeks, so let me give you an example. I'm a runner. So I'd be like, I'm going to run seven miles every day this week. But inevitably, something happens.
Starting point is 01:17:13 My kid, I drive to get my son, get him a strep test. I can't run. So like, oh, I set myself up for failure. So instead of that, I say, like, I'm going to run, you know, 49 miles, whatever, 35 miles this week. So if I miss a day, I can make it up. So if you miss seven miles, one day you could do like 10 miles the next day and 11, whatever. I've greatly increased my odds of success.
Starting point is 01:17:38 It's like I'm an author. I'm writing a book. I'm going to write 10 pages a day. I can never do that every day. I'm going to write 70 pages this week. So I've missed two days. I can make it up. So I'm thinking in terms of weeks versus day to day.
Starting point is 01:17:51 And that's, oh, it's much better. Much better. It takes the pressure. I have enough pressure. We don't want to put that much pressure. pressure on me every 365. I just took 365 days and I shrunk it down to 52 weeks of practice. 52 versus 365. Well, especially with the, I mean, speaking of my friends without kids when they give me these elaborate routines, but they don't have kids yet. And they have like, there's nothing
Starting point is 01:18:12 that's going to derail their day. I'm like, listen, like, I don't know. Someone gets sick. Some of a kid could throw up. That's every school. A hundred percent. You can't, you need flexibility. And then, and then the other things for me is like, I have a list of like, I made a list of like five or 10 things that I like if time wasn't an issue or money was an issue what do I love to do I love playing sports with my kids and hopefully they love it too hopefully I can keep it fun enough that they love it so I want to make sure that like and like when I had marquee jet a guy that worked for me I was single at the time came in and he was like my I said what did you do this weekend like oh I took my son to soccer how do he scored nine goals I was like what he scored
Starting point is 01:18:53 Paley doesn't score nine goals like what do you do you know Paley doesn't score nine goals like what do you talking about how do you get so good at soccer he's like oh i spent five minutes a day with him i'm like what he's like yeah all the other kids they have one practice a week and then they play in a game but we play five minutes every day so when we come back at the end of the month you know we've spent three or four more hour whatever the math is more than the other kids playing soccer and it's just compounded he's really good so i'm like i'm spending five minutes a day and i do i'm I was spending 5.5. You're 5?
Starting point is 01:19:28 Yeah. I'm going to spend 10. No, but so that, so that was been like a lesson I never forgot ever. There's actually something I posted this today called the rule of 100. And the rule of 100 states that if you spend 18 minutes a day, adults, that's 109 hours a year, 18 minutes a day. So 100 hours, let's just say, the rule of 100 in any discipline. So playing the piano, MMA fighting. whatever, archery, you'll be better than 95% of the world's population in that discipline.
Starting point is 01:20:02 So like imagine if your kids, I mean, it's not realistic, but every year they chose one thing. This year we're going to get really good at, you know, the trampoline or whatever. By the time they're like 40, they'll be Jason Bourne. Your son will be Jason born. It doesn't take a lot. It just takes consistency. So back to your question, Lauren. I made a list of the things I love to do, playing sports with my kids, sawn and cold plunging, breathwork.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I love doing like Wimhaff breathing. And every day I try to do like two or three of the things I love to do, like every day, wherever it's scheduled. It's not the when, it's the what. I try to do a couple of things every day that I love to do because I show up so much better as a dad, as a husband, as a boss in meetings everywhere when I checked my box. We took a son and a cold punch today. I went for a run. Those are two. Those are my two vitamins.
Starting point is 01:20:58 My daily vitamins. And I do that religiously every day. And you know what? I'm so enthusiastic. I have so much energy and so much zest for life because of that. And I've been doing it since I'm a frigging teenager. I didn't realize it. This wasn't something that you became successful.
Starting point is 01:21:19 You always did it. And it has nothing to do with money. I love riding my bike. I love running. I love swimming. I love doing breath work. All the things I just mentioned. I can't do them all every day,
Starting point is 01:21:32 but I'm doing two or three of them every day. And this is crazy. When I had Marquis jet, we flew the, I was 29 to like, we flew the who's who of pop culture, CEOs, athletes, and entertainers on our airplanes. And I was obsessed with their habits. I'm a byproduct of this.
Starting point is 01:21:53 Anytime I had a free moment, I would ask these amazing actors and athletes and CEOs like, what time do you wake up? How do you spend your, where do you, where do you vacation? That's a good one. How do you live rich?
Starting point is 01:22:10 So when I was 30, got a little older in my 30s, I had a meeting with one of our customers. This guy who's incredibly wealthy. And I said to him, I'm not going to say his last name, I said, Jim, how do you live rich? Like, what do you do?
Starting point is 01:22:24 And he told me that every day, first he said, I wake up and I read six newspapers. Again, some of the stuff doesn't resonate with me. I'm never going to do that. But some of it did. And he went through a whole checklist of things he did. And he goes, I take three hours a day cumulative for me. I'm like, tell me about that. He goes, yeah, like, I might go, you know, read a paper for 20 minutes, go in the sauna for 20 minutes.
Starting point is 01:22:49 I might go for a walk, but cumulatively throughout the 24 hours in day, cumulatively, I'll take two or three hours a day for me. And I'm like, I'm doing that. And I asked him why. He's like, oh, I'm the happiest guy in the world. Like when you check the box, now if my wife says, I want to go to the opera, I don't want to go to the opera, Sarah. I hate the opera. But if I did my bike ride and I'm son up, I'm more than happy to go to the opera. Because you already did yourself.
Starting point is 01:23:18 The opera takes away from the bike ride in the sauna. I'm resenting my wife. So those two or three things. Now I went to my daughter's softball game for two hours yesterday. It was so boring. I loved it because before that, I did those things for me. So I'm showing up way better as a parent and as a husband because of it. It's critical, man.
Starting point is 01:23:43 I also think to perform at the level that I think all of us want to perform at and to show up as the parents that we want to show up with that we have to run our personal life as athletes and an athlete wouldn't just show up to play a game they would they'd go to their stretcher they go practice they go meet with what a psychotic like whatever they do to get to get in the head space they don't just show up and play the basketball game well again we were talking in the sauna and we were you know we're no like everybody knows like we put a big emphasis on doing wellness things. And sometimes people have asked, like, hey, do Michael and Lorne do the really actually, like do those things they talk about? I said, no, you don't understand. Like, doing those things
Starting point is 01:24:23 enables us to do the other things. If you didn't do those things, we couldn't do the things that maybe quote unquote were known for. Does that make sense? Well, and I saw it first hand. It's like your house, like a training compound. I was like, you know, it's so funny. Like, I would say, are you, are you, or Gagins in the cold plunger. I'm kidding. No, you're, you're a cold plunge game? No, Lauren's not really. Lauren is next level. Do you think Wim would approve? You were Wim Hof approved. Really?
Starting point is 01:24:50 You're elite. You think I could go in the snow. She's not only. She's elite. No, she's not only. And she's, here's another thing. Like, she's full conversation in it. And she comes out, the shivering didn't even impact. She's like, she literally said, I love the shiver.
Starting point is 01:25:05 Yeah. No, she's, listen. You took the, you freaked shivering out. I'll take it. Jesse, it'sler. No, shivering. Hold the clip and show everyone. No, listen, I will feel like I can cold plunge
Starting point is 01:25:15 with the best one, then I'll cold plunge with my wife. And I'm like, I am a total bitch. I'm not going to lie. And this is not even to brag. I cut it in five times. No, no, I know you kid. It's, it's wild. Okay. I would be when I'm available. I would be personally remiss if I didn't ask you a selfish question. I think a lot of the audience has maybe experienced you and knows you from speaking. And I mean this is an extreme compliment. I think you are one of the best speakers I've ever seen publicly. the way, not just the way that you speak, but you know how to get into the crowd, you're moving around, you basically, like, he pulls you in. You pull people in and you, it's a charisma. It's not like when you see a Jesse speech and I've seen you speak a few times, you're not just, you don't just sit up there stage with the mic and talk around a podium. Like you're really active. I always say this on the show. One of my personal biggest fears years ago was public speaking. I obviously now speak all the time for a living and do this show. But what do you personally, think makes an impactful speaker? But first of all, thank you. You know, I spend a lot of time on it. You can tell. It took a lot of reps. It matters so much to me. I think the first thing is it really
Starting point is 01:26:24 matters to me. I think the number one thing for for anyone doing public speaking is to talk with conviction, you know, and to be, you hear the word authentic, but to be yourself. And I think the things that make the biggest difference is, you know, and to be, you hear the word authentic, but to be yourself. And tell, I think the things that, I tell stories that only I can tell because they only happen to me. So I'm telling stories about my business journey, my bike ride, et cetera. There are things that I've experienced. The more you experience, the more you have to offer. And that alone makes me unique than the other 8 billion people in the world because I'm not saying,
Starting point is 01:27:03 get comfortable being uncomfortable. Like, anyone can say that. I'm saying, this is how I felt when I wrote across America and this is how I dealt with it. and this is what I learned from it. This is why it's important, and this is how you can do it in your life. That's a lot different than saying, you know, a lot of people are saying things like,
Starting point is 01:27:20 you have to have good habits. No shit. How do you do that? Right. You know, like no shit. It's like saying drink water. Like when someone says, how do you get your skin like that?
Starting point is 01:27:30 And they say drink water. When I was in college, I took a public speaking class. It was a throwaway class. I needed three credits. And my friends were like, take the public speaking class. It's a joke.
Starting point is 01:27:39 It's so easy. I walked in there. And I was like, this is the most important class I took in all of college. My college tuition is now where I went to school at American University's $40,000 a year. That's $160,000. If I only took that class, it would have paid for itself. And I remember my public speaking teacher saying, giving me a framework. And I still use it today.
Starting point is 01:28:04 I use it in presentations and meetings. I use it in front of on a big stage. I use it in front of my team. The first thing is I always have an icebreaker. So there's a story. It doesn't have to be relevant about what I'm talking about today, but something that's either makes me vulnerable or it's funny or whatever. And it can be as simple as like, I'm making this up,
Starting point is 01:28:29 but like, oh, my God, I was walking in here today to your show. And someone recognized that's like, oh, my God, I love you. I'm a huge fan of yours, Jamie. You know, no, it's Jesse, you know. So that's like already like that's an icebreaker. Anyway, it's great to be here. So there's like, you know, I don't think that already says I don't take myself serious. I've said whatever.
Starting point is 01:28:47 I'm using that as a bad example. So you want to have an icebreaker. Two is you want to tell people in the audience what it is you're talking about. People want to follow along and know what it is you're going to be talking about today. Guys, today I'm so glad we got the whole office today. Today I want to talk about March sales. Oh, okay. I know what he's going to talk about.
Starting point is 01:29:05 So icebreaker, you want to tell people you're going to talk. about, you want to deliver, number three is you want to deliver on that promise. So whatever you tell them you're going to talk about, you want to deliver on that. And then four is you want to leave people with actionable takeaways so they can leave and actually implement something. I'm not here to entertain you. I want to leave, you want to leave our talk with something that you can apply into your everyday life. And that's always been the framework. And then it's just transitions between, and then for me, I'm a storyteller. I like to tell stories that have humor or emotional I want to make people laugh.
Starting point is 01:29:41 I want to make people cry. And I want to make people think. So I try to, all that goes into the framework of, but now I do this for a living. Sure. But for anyone listening, I still think the framework of an icebreaker, giving, letting people know what you're going to talk about, delivering on that and giving them takeaways is critical. No, I think you could apply this to anything, a business lecture. You could apply it to a meeting and anything.
Starting point is 01:30:04 Last quick follow up question before that. And I think a lot of people think about this. lot of people have stage fright. Maybe you never had it. I don't know if you did or didn't. If you did, how did you get over it or how would you coach people to get over it? Well, I think being nervous is okay. And I think that it shows that, you know, it matters to you. I still get that, but it goes away. You know when it goes away, when you're confident. You know, when you feel prepared, it goes away. Then it's just, then it shifts to enthusiasm to deliver what you're excited to deliver. Obviously, it comes with reps. And reps could be even in front of,
Starting point is 01:30:42 when I started speaking, I took three people in my office and said, I need you for 45 minutes. I want you to critique this and tell me, and I filmed it. And I want you to tell me what you like, where can I make it better? Do I lose you? Is it punchy? It's an art form, man. And you can't, again, like Lauren said, like pro athletes don't just show up. They get reps. And you, they practice. So I asked these three people and then I went back. Is this better? I looked at myself on tape. When I give a new speech now, I still film myself and then watch the whole thing. I didn't like this. It's dragging. How do I make it 10% better? This shit matters, man. How do I make it better? How can I make this better? Am I losing anybody? So I'm really, I'm really diving into it.
Starting point is 01:31:32 Very Arnold Schwarzenegger. He does that too. It's very. And I mean, he's obviously incredibly successful. He watches themselves speak. And I think that's such a great tip because you can actually see yourself from a different perspective. And the other thing that's important is like some people will go through it in their head. You're not doing it in your head when you're on stage. You're talking. You talk faster in your head.
Starting point is 01:31:54 So I time it. I like to hold. I don't use a head thing. You know, are using a handheld mic or using a, what's it called a lavalier or one of those things on your. What are you using? because if you're not holding something, if you're holding something in a hand, well then you have a free hand,
Starting point is 01:32:11 but you only have one free hand because your mic's up. So you have to practice that. If you have two free hands, that's weird. So you have to practice what you're using. I only use handhelds. When you practice speaking, even for a presentation,
Starting point is 01:32:25 you want to look around the room when you go through your rehearsal or whatever. You're not looking in a mirror because then you're looking at yourself. you're not looking at yourself on stage. You're looking at the audience. And you're not looking at your mannerisms. So I practice, you know, in front of a room of nothing.
Starting point is 01:32:44 Like I'm projecting out to thousands of people. And then the last thing I would say that that's a tip for me is when I go into a and this is, maybe this is, you guys do the same thing. I don't know. But when I'm going on to speak in front of a crowd, let's say a big crowd, I'll look at the, I'll look at the stage. So I'll like, I'll go to the back of the room or the side of the room and I'll look at the stage, and then I will, in my mind's eye, see myself on the stage looking out.
Starting point is 01:33:10 So I can see, I know the size of the stage, I know the audience. I have a visual of what it's going to feel, I'm visualizing what it's going to feel like to project out to the audience from the angle of me on the stage. That's different, very different than just walking on there for the first time. I've already been out there in my mind's eye. You understand what I'm saying? No, no. Listen, the reason I felt compelled to ask you this is I think a lot of people will see someone like yourself speak.
Starting point is 01:33:38 And they'll think, wow, this is just natural ability, which I'm sure there is some natural ability. But again, we've interviewed a lot of people. And what I will say is like, none of this stuff happens by accident. And to hear you talk about all of the different ways that you prep and to think about this. I think it's going to trigger something in people's mind of like, oh, this isn't just like some guy that rolled out of a van at a speaking event and then just showed up and won it. You know what I mean? Like there's a lot of prep and a lot of care. And I study it.
Starting point is 01:34:03 I watched TED Talk. Like I said, I've been to, I don't know, maybe I gave 50 speeches this year. I'm usually the only one on the roster that's in the back row watching the other people. I will attest that you did that. I saw you do it. Yeah, well, we were there. I'm not making it up. I saw you do it.
Starting point is 01:34:23 Yeah, I know. And it's not like. I'm going to steal a lot of the stuff you just said. I'm going to listen back to this clip. I really am. I already wrote it down the framework. And by the way, like, I want, I'm rooting for every. I'm not, I want, I'm not, I'm in, I'll share anything.
Starting point is 01:34:38 I feel like I won, I won the lottery. I have nothing to hide. Like, there's no trade secrets. I, there are several people in the speaking circuit, high level that I've written their TED talks for, I'm not going to mention them, I've written their TED talks. And I've, and they are, and then there's people that are competitive with me on the speaking circuit who I've gone over to and said, I have a suggestion. I think you should do it this way. I couldn't care less. I'm competing with me. Well, again, because you're speaking from experiences that
Starting point is 01:35:14 only happened to you. So they can't compete with that anyway. I hope you guys crush it. Like, do I care? You have a calendar company called Big Ass Calendar. Yes. You guys made me one in Baby Pink. It's absolutely gorgeous. It's going to sit in my office. I'm going to send you guys, you and Taylor, a picture of my calendar that's filled up with all the trips that Michael Bostick's planned. I'm going to make him do the work. I'll put the post-its on, though. And I'm going to send you a picture. I'm so excited to use this in my own life. I've never actually looked at my entire life from a year of view and to be able to go back and look at it every single year is something I'd want to show my kids and it's inspiring. I think it's such a great idea. So you guys
Starting point is 01:35:57 made one in Baby Pink for me. And I asked you before this if we could do one for our audience and baby pink. So it's on the site. You guys can go shop jetsyitzler.com slash skinny. So go shop the pink calendar. It's the big ass calendar. You guys can all get your own in pink. It's so pretty. They also have it in blue though, too. Yeah. And what's great about it is it's all 365 days of the year on one page. So you can track towards goals and you can put, you know, it's super visual and humans are visual. So for me, it's like the number one planning tool that I have. I think what I'll do is I'll like put all my post-its on it. And then I'll try to show you guys how I've used mine in my office.
Starting point is 01:36:38 I also want to just say that I noticed that the one that you brought of yours is sort of beat up, which tells me that you, you're not precious about it. You bring it, you bring it around. It's not like sitting on a wall. Is that right? Yeah. It does sit on my wall, but I also, it travels with me too. Okay.
Starting point is 01:36:54 So you're looking at it. I'm unique in that. No, I like that. I like that. I'm obsessed with that. Where can everyone find you? Where can everyone find what you're doing? Pimp yourself out, Jesse and come back anytime. First of all, thank you guys. And this year, I hope you're going to trip with me, Michael.
Starting point is 01:37:09 You know, one of these mini adventures, we should have the same date on our calendar for something. I got to work up to your level. I got to get it. I got to get that endurance up. No, man, I saw your sauna game. I think it might be the reverse. No, I'm just at on all the socials at jesseyitzler and jessie Yitzler.com. Pretty simple. Love it. Thank you for doing this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming on. Today was fun. It was fun. I loved it, man. Thank you. Two things before you go. You can watch us now on YouTube, so you can go on YouTube, search the Skinny Confidential, and watch our entire episodes on your computer or TV.
Starting point is 01:37:43 Also, you should know Michael and I are doing a him and her newsletter. So basically it's a him and her tip of the day, five days a week. And the tips are very specific, as you can imagine. And then we also have a monthly favorites. So basically we collect all our monthly favorites, everything we've bought and used and tried and put it in one monthly newsletter for you. To sign up for that, go to shopskinnyconfidential.com and sign up for the newsletter. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next time.

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