The Bossticks - John Stamos Tells All & Keeps Us Wanting More

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

#662: Today, we're sitting down with the legend, John Stamos. John is an American actor and musician, known for his breakout role in General Hospital, and playing the iconic character of Uncle Jesse in the 90s hit television show, Full House. John joins us today to discuss his new tell-all memoir, If You Would Have Told Me, where he reflects on some of the darker moments from his life. We discuss his career, how he remained humble through his journey to fame, and how he's reflected on his life with family, friends, and the press. To Watch the Show click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To connect with John Stamos click  HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential This episode is brought to you by Kerastase Visit Kerastase-USA.com and use code SKINNY15 to receive 15% off your purchase. Offer valid through 5/31/2024. This episode is brought to you by Just Thrive These days, stress seems to hit us from every possible angle in any environment at any time, day after day. Enter Just Calm - the breakthrough new stress and mood support formula from Just Thrive. Get 20% off a 90-day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic + Just Calm supplement at justthrivehealth.com with code SKINNY at checkout. This episode is brought to you by AG1 If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Go to drinkAG1.com/SKINNY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase.   This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat-only therapy sessions. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy & you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/skinny. This episode is brought to you by Hero Bread Don't give up on being a bread head. Receive 10% off your order by using code SKINNY at hero.co. Produced by Dear Media

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And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. I was so nice. naive and I was so, you know, as a little kid from Orange County that was quite sheltered and it was all sort of a dream to me. And it wasn't sophisticated enough to go, okay, here's my goal. I can't remove that. I just went, I just went with what I was given and where my life was taking me. I didn't overthink it. I wasn't that smart. I wasn't that introspective. You know, now I, now I am,

I think, you know, therapy and growing up. And I never thought I was smart. It was just one of those things where I just felt I wasn't smart enough to keep up with people and I just wasn't, I didn't go to college and I just didn't feel very book smart. Then I wrote this book and it was like a number four bestseller on the New York Times. It's like the Wizard of Oz, right? Like the scarecrow. I don't have a brain. You have it. You just didn't. Here's your diploma. That's what this is. Oh, John Stamos is on the show today. John Stamos, guys, I'm excited.

Michael tried to get like a bag for my head in this episode. You know John Stamos. Everyone knows. John Stamos. He is famous for so many things, which we'll get into. But I also want to hit on something that I think is important to note about John. His book, if you would have told me, popped up on my Amazon reads and I immediately bought it because I'm a fan of him. And from the first page, I was hooked. His book is so raw, especially for Hollywood. You don't always get that with Hollywood. You know what I mean? you can tell that it really is him writing it, doing it, saying it. Like every single page was captivating. It's one of those books that you just can't put down.

And what I liked about it is it talked you through his entire childhood into his teenage years. It shows you where his work ethic came from. It talks about his journey with sobriety. And of course, he also goes into the unexpected death of his full house co-star and longtime friend, his best friend, Bob Sagitt. It talks about his past marriages, his new marriage. It talks about all the shows he was on. And there's an extreme self-awareness that comes with John. It feels like he's in on the joke. And in this episode, you can feel it. Like, he's really funny and

witty. And there's also like this layer of massive self-awareness. And I appreciate that. And if you read the book, I think you guys will love it. And I do have to tell you, he was so fucking cool and so kind to everyone that he met at Dear Media. He acknowledged everyone. He was polite. He was down to earth. And it's not every day that a celebrity is like that. So, John Stamos. John is iconic. You may recognize him from General Hospital. ER, Full House. I mean, Uncle Jesse. Hello. Everyone's childhood crush, Broadway, and now he is an author. I hope you love this episode. I loved it a lot. John Stamos, welcome to the show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. John Stamos in the studio. I don't like being this close to a man who's so handsome that makes me look bad, Michael. So,

can you go under the table? I don't know. I brought, hold on a second. I'm, I'm overwhelmed that I'm surrounded by the two most handsome guys I know. I brought a bag for Lauren to wear on her head this whole episode. He wants her to wear a bag. She's beautiful. He wants her to wear a bag. I don't, yeah, I don't get intimidated too often, but I think, you know, Lauren heard you were coming in.

She's like, listen. Stan was coming in. You are my childhood crush. Really? I can't believe that. I think that you're Michael's childhood crush. Honestly, like. He's too handsome.

Thanks for dressing up, Michael. The t-shirt works. That's rickles. That's rickles. I love rickles. You know what? I don't know. I set off air who has a better hairline.

I hate to say that to you, Michael. Normally, I would say you. I like the way you got it styled. Mine's a little stiff. Yours is, that thing flowing, man. You're stiff. Yeah, we could do a little more of flow. But you normally wear it like that, right?

I read the outsiders when I was like 12. Oh, yeah, right, right, right. That's it for me. Yeah, that's the look. So we're here because I read your book. Thank you. I tagged your wife. You did?

You did? I tagged everyone. I wanted you on the show so bad after the same. book because this book showed such a different side of you. I had known you, obviously, from full house, from ER, from all the different things that you've done, stern. And the book, you were so open. Yeah, sometimes too open. It was so, have you guys written a book? I have written a book. You've done everything. But not like, not like, this is different. This is like a true memoir. Yes, this is like a memoir. You know, I sat out to write like a hero story

and then I was like, this is bullshit. I can't full, you know. And then it became a human story. and then I stumbled upon a line like anything less than the truth is paralysis. So I was like, oh, shit, I had to go back to the beginning of trying to figure out how to do it. I thought about writing the two hardest chapters I started with, which was I got a DUI the day I got a DUI, and it was just terrible. I could have killed somebody. And my five stages of grief there were, you know, more booze and girls and drugs. And then the second chapter that I wrote, which ended up being the last chapter about Bob called Cake,

the day he died and and and I my five stages of grief there was therapy and family and you know the program and you know so being sober and stuff meditation so first of all I was in here a couple months ago on the and then Josh and Ben show which is a good guy show and it was really sweet and I was but I saw all these vibrators and pink things out there I'm like I'm gonna give you what the hell I'm in the right place and I thought I was Josh's you know vibrator line it wasn't then I texted him this morning I go, hey, was that the studio? I'm doing these guys, husband-wife podcast, and I can't wait.

I remember seeing dildos and stuff. Was that your place? And she said, yeah, that's that. Vibrators, dildos, I'm going to give you one. It's the best vibrator. I can attest to it on the planet. Let me tell you. Okay, my wife, I guess maybe I shouldn't say this,

but she blew out our power in our house the other day. I was out of town. She had a plug-in one, and it blew the power out of the whole master bedroom area. Well, these ones are cordless. Twice. This is cordless. I'm going to give a cordless. one. It comes in a cute little package.

It's rechargeable. It's dainty. It's cute. It's pretty. She's going to love it. We didn't worry about 2.20 volts right. What did you do when she started coming up with these products? I was all for it. I was like, let me, we'll test them out together. Where did you guys meet? When we were 12. Really? Seriously? Yeah. Wow. And you've only been with each other? No, we have not only been with each other. No, no. I think what happened is she saw. I need to say that before when we, when we say we

did. Do you have hickies? Is there are those hickies in your record? You did give me a hickie. Oh, my. I think she saw you on Full House and then was like, and then she got all excited. I'm just going to emulate that look. I said the reason that I have this type is because of you. Okay. Wow.

Thank you. You guys kind of have a similar look. Yeah. I will take it. You're younger. Aren't you? You got to be young. I mean, of course you're young.

He and you guys are similar age. I'm 72. Wait, no, no, but about it. So where did you guys, where did you grow up in San Diego?

San Diego. Oh, wow. I grew up in Orange County, you know. We're in Orange County. Cyprus is a little town called Texas. And so you guys grew,

That didn't, you were 12 years old. 12 years old. And did you like each other then? Yes, we liked each other at 12. Is that right? Mike's son, who's six, I don't know, but how old are your kids are four and two? But my son's only one and a half. Okay, my son has a girlfriend for a couple years now.

I think it's wrong. You're five and a half year old? And I'm like, stop with the girlfriend stuff. She's very, she's very sweet and, you know, the neighbors, her dad directs the bachelor and all the shows, Ken, Fuchs. So we were, but he's a, he's a player, you know, he's a player. my wife said she had boyfriends when she was five or six. You have them when you're little.

That young? Yeah. So we were in Paris a couple months ago and we were at the Disney, Disneyland there, and we had a guide and two days. And one day, the first guide was, you know, a nice, normal French woman, maybe 50. The next day there was like this 30-year-old hot French girl. She comes up to the table and goes like, boom. And he's such an, like his, here's his move.

He goes, so, what's my favorite color? Like, you've got to guess is shit, you know? So what's my favorite dinosaur? He's a player. He's a player. And so he's like, right. And then she says, oh, excuse me, I have to go to the restroom. He walks off.

Oh, no. First, he was doing the questions. And then I could overhear him saying, I have this girlfriend. Her name is Bella. And we play down the street. And she's really cool. And her dad does it. And then she walks away to the restroom.

Just as he's at an ear shot, I swear to God, he turns to me and goes, why did I tell her I had a girlfriend? Like he had a shot at her He's charming I mean he's your kid Yeah but I wasn't like that I was cute Maybe as a kid

And then a guy old dorky During you know Junior high especially I talked about being bullied and stuff there Were you the stud dude at the No No I got bullied You did?

Yeah I was small Were What? I was tiny So when did you guys hook up then We hooked up at 12 Do you have sex? No

Wait a minute I might have given you a blowdrabble on the tennis court. At 12? 13. Is that true? You asked me if I was scared of the one-eyed snake. Is that with the plan? I didn't know what to say.

I hope my son doesn't listen to this. He's still asking me this. You know what? And I like, her dad caught us in the, we've told this or her dad caught us in the closet at 12 with all our clothes up. I saw my life flash before my eyes. And I thought, I mean, it's worked out.

It's worked out. It's worked out. Do her parents like you? Yeah. So when you get, when you did, and when you saw the one-night snake and the thing, did you say marry me then? Like, read at 12?

Oh, he was like, you've been marry me since I was 12. It's done. What really happened is she showed up to school. She came in at the end of six. She came into sixth grade. She didn't go to the school before. She was fully developed. And I had little girlfriends that weren't developed.

And I thought she was the substitute teacher. I took one look at like, that's the one. Hot for teacher. And I think. Couldn't leave me alone. And then she wore this new sequence dress in the sixth grade play. And I was like, done. What was the play?

The play was girls just want to have fun. Are you an actress? I'm not an actress. Really? No, I'm not an actress. I'm not going to flirt with your wife. I don't care. Oh, please.

Listen, num, num, num, num, no, no, no. I have a wife and a kid. Please, please, please, please. Listen, I, you don't get any cracks in Stamos. If you would have told me that I would be interviewing John Stamos. Oh, big deal. Would not have believed it. So did you guys, so you started dating 12 or whatever, and then you broke up for a while and dated other people?

We broke up. Oh, we broke up so 21 years old. Yeah, we went off. I went to other schools. She went to other schools. You went to other schools. Is that what you call it? He went to you of A and fucked the whole school.

You have to say that like that, no. I went on nice dates, candlelit dinners. Yeah, okay. Did you, but the candle was in his ass. Yeah. Did you guys, so, were you got back together at 21? Yeah. Okay.

Got back together since. How many people do you sleep with Michael? Two. Yeah. 100. No, 200. No, really? That much?

No. Your dad did tell me 3,000. No, not him, not him. His dad slept with 3,000. Did you, really? Is he still alive? Yeah, but he's 79. Wow.

Can we get him on the phone? Who slept with more? John's name was your dad. Let's call him. Can we call him? My dad's such a wild character because he was older than me when he had me and he was nuts when he was a kid. And he was like, I remember being like 12 years.

I was like, listen, when you do cocaine, he's got to be really good cocaine and he's got to be really good cocaine. And he's like, I had this testing kid. I'm like, dude. I've never even seen a beer before. He, like, he like got the age confused. He didn't realize like some of that stuff doesn't come till later. And so he would give me this advice and it was so. It still is, right?

You're good with old guys. Good, nice segue. Yeah, no, you are. You're good with old guys, Don Rickles. Yeah. You're good with that. My dad, I mean, my dad was alive. He died, I was pretty young.

He was 65. He was too young. And I sort of gravitated towards, you know, that type of guy. My dad was a, you know, that was a cool. My dad was my, probably like you. He was just. Joking aside, yeah, me and him are like that. I could tell.

And he was, you know, I could see he's putting on some of that stuff. But he seems like a really good guy. You are working with your dad in his restaurant. when you were on a show at the same time. Right. What was that like? Well, I worked on, I got, the first job I ever got was General Hospital. You know what it's really good about your podcast, too, I should say?

You'd let your guests talk for a long time. Maybe you're spacing out, I'm not sure. You know what I'm saying? Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I guess so. Well, some people interrupt and stuff. But anyway, yes, I worked at my dad's restaurant. My dad was very, probably like you.

He was like work hard, be a good guy. My dad treated the bus boy the same way he would treat his best customer. and I never forgot that I watched it and he instilled that at me I got I did an audition for general hospital you probably didn't watch that show no you didn't you did when I was at home yeah

when you were you were how old was like 80s how you were five so you haven't met Michael yet so you were still right yeah well told you my first childhood crush well you said full house every single girl says that to him no they don't not they don't no she I'm not kidding you like she we've had some people on the show she's like hey well I'm very flattered

I loved you in Batman by the way Oh, everyone says that. As long as you say, not when he played Dick Cheney. No, no, you're better looking at him. Your dad treated the busboy. Sorry, that's the thing. The same as he treated everyone. Right.

He was very much into, you know, discipline and working hard. And so I got on the show. I auditioned. I didn't, it was a, the breakdown was a street urchin, a New York street urchin kid. I never even been to New York. I was just 18, I think. And I figured, how am I going to, I got to get, I got to get in. I love Travolta.

And the first movie. that I ever said. First tell of anything was on the set of Greece. I can tell you that story. I love Troultes, so I thought, I need a walk, like, I gotta get my walk down, you know, like, and a leather jacket. My mom, I took my mom's, like,

a voluminous long leather jacket, which I was gonna cut it, she said, no. She could sort of feathered my hair. I had sun in during that time. Did you ever use that? What is it? It's squittered in your hair, and it, you know, it's a lighter.

I was walking, so I wanted to find a street that I thought was New York, which was, I went over here to, to West Hollywood, and it was like driving down, this looks like New York to me, and there was a place called rage. This character needs rage. I'll park there, you know.

And I got out, it's like, I'm working on my walk, like walking down Santa Monica Boulevard over there. A lot of cat calls. There was a lot of outdoor restaurants with mainly men, mostly men. And, uh, woo, you get a girl. I'm like, girl, oh, okay, you know.

This was a, yeah, this was sort of worked through my walk and it was sort of silly. But then I walked into the idea. Oh, so I thought, I needed a bandana, like Chachi on Happy Days. He's a New York guy. He has a bandana. So I was trying to, there were a lot of bandana stores on the street.

And I went into one and I got a yellow bandana. And I never forget, the owner, the guy says, today's your lucky day because with every bandana you get a massage. I'm like, oh, thank you, sir, but I got an audition. So I took the yellow bandana and I went. And I was, I came into the audition, like, like a, like a, like, bash through. And I'm doing my walk. And I go, okay.

I'm like, two guys, Weber, baseball bats, stop, stop, stop. Stop moving around. What do you do? The cameras can't even catch you. You don't need to walk. Just stay the, you know, stand stills at the lines. Okay.

So I start two guys, Weber, baseball bats in one hand, but stop. I go, what? He says, that yellow bandana, that you like to be peed on? I'm like, what? And it turns out like there's a, there's colors in that community or, and yellow was pee on. So that was my first audition, but I got it. And I remember calling home, and my family was all,

they always, I would call and say, and I said, I got bad news. Oh, I got their own. My sisters and my mom were screaming. And you could hear my dad in the back going, you can't work on Sundays. Tell them you can't, well, you're my Sunday guy. And sure enough, like, I started the show,

and I still worked at my dad's restaurant on Sundays. And then the show aired, like, just literally, like two weeks after I started. So I auditioned on a Monday, call back on Tuesday, worked on a Wednesday, and then one week later, it started. And that show, you know, 35 million people were watching like Luke and Laura and all this stuff. But I still worked and people are starting to come into the restaurant to say, you know, can I have a cheeseburger? Hey, aren't you the guy?

Nah, give me a, I said, Dad, I'm famous. Can I quit? No. And I, he kept me working there. And I never, you know, when you write something like this, you discover your story and discover, like, I had questions. I go, why did he? I mean, it was either to keep me humble, which didn't work, or discipline, or it was good for, business. He came down to the set with me. I'll never forget it. And he watched the way I

handled people or worked with people. Same way he did. I was talking to the, I was talking to the guy pulling the cords. I was talking to the producers. And he said, you're ready. You're ready. I go, it's your son. I love you. Be a good man. Be kind. Work your ass off. And good luck. That's an incredible story. We've met so many people. And honestly, when you came in the room when Bert was here, I could tell out of my go, this guy is it, you're just, you seem like a good dude. Like, you're, you just, you seem like a good dude. Like, You just seem like I watch you with Jade in the office. You treat everybody really nice.

And it's, it's refreshing because, you know, we come across a lot of people. And sometimes you see people reach a certain level of either fame or fortune and they kind of lose sight of just being a human. I mean, there probably were times when I was like that. But for the most part, like I wanted to be famous my whole life. I wanted to be popular. I wanted people, the girls that like me and stuff. So why would I not like it now?

You guys talk, a couple of the episodes that I listened to, you were talking about fame, not you guys as much, but the guests that weren't famous. And they were talking about what it means to be famous. I'm like, you don't know. It was like, if I'm at a restaurant and I'm talking, I don't want people to come up to me. I don't give a shit. I really don't. I mean, if I want to be private and, you know, I'll stay home.

And, you know, people are just, it's always something nice. Like, they always come up and say something nice, right? You guys get recognized probably once in a while. Maybe not. You know who says what you just said, Kim Kardashian. Oh, really? She says, I'll never ever complain because I've worked so hard to get here. and I'll never complain about people coming up to me or being famous.

She said, I love every minute of it. Yeah. I think that's honest, too. And also, you're right. If you don't want to get recognized, don't go out. Well, I mean, people, you know, I mean, I think people do, you know, don't want to live in their house all the time. But I don't know. I can't speak for that.

But for me, it's like, you know, I'm like Kim. She worked really hard. She's, do you, have you guys, has she been on her? No. You can't bash me. Open invite. Open invite. You look at people that work that hard, and it's pretty impressive, too, right?

So what was your, who started making the dough first? You or her? Probably, in terms of, probably me, but we had different, like, I went straight into the last job I had, like, McDonald's. Yeah, how did you know that? Oh. I listen. Oh, wow.

But my dad, and you know, he's a funny character, and he taught me a lot. But one thing that I think is a little bit of a strange path is he drilled in my head always that I could never have, like, a job that I had to go build something on my own, which strange, you know, I struggled and stumbled with that for a long time because of like, what does that even mean? You got a lot of pressure. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure. Your dad was a lot older than, than, like, like, because he was a born and bred like entrepreneur. And I think I had when he was 42. Yeah. And so I, you know, with that, I had, I, I had, I would say is I had a lot of downs first. Like, I would go, I would make, I would go up and then I go down, then I go up,

and I go down. I had nothing really stable, but when, when stuff started to hit me, but then, you know, probably at times when I was down, then she started to go up. That's great. And then vice versa. But I think what's been interesting about us, we've been together for so long that we've kind of been building it together. Right. Right.

Like we, we... Well, no, no, no. Thank God. I've got more money. I should have made you sign a pre-na. Yeah, that was my mistake. But, you know, when we... I remember when she was bartending and putting herself through school and starting the blog.

Who's? I was bartending in San Diego. Hooters? Not Hooters? I don't mean to be disrespectful. Not hooters. But I know there's a lot of hootering. Not Hooters.

Okay. You know what, though, I would have... That was not disrespectful. Yes, it was. You know what? Michael's getting pissed off. I'm not... I wish that I worked at Hooters.

I wish that I had that moment to work at Hooters and sell wings. I would have sold wings like nobody's business. I really would have. She got her first boob job at 18 and she got to remove recently, but like, but yeah, the Hooters would have you would have crushed it there. I would crush it. I would just personal, I feel like... Oh, we talk about everything.

Oh, yeah. There's nothing off limits at this point. What is that like, though? Did that start from the beginning? Like, have you guys just spewing out your... spewing out your personal life. Here's the way that I, well, yeah. But here's the way I would, sometimes people wonder like,

oh man, these guys go out each other. Yeah. Are you guys fight a lot? No, no, no. But imagine doing something with like your best friend from childhood. And so like, I think some of the stuff that you would rib, like you would rib your 12 year old. Yeah, but I don't think, like, you know, I don't think, no.

Well, sorry. But no, I don't, I think it's just, it's just a dynamic. And I think what I learned is I used to be a lot more private. And then she just started sharing every fucking thing about our life. I gotta get, I've been oversharing, actually, which is why I liked your book. I'm sure. I liked your book because I was like, this is someone who's telling the truth.

Yeah, it was hard. You know what? And there were times when I said, I was like, I mean, I didn't, maybe one guy, one person, but I didn't bash it. That's not my style to make, to say shitty stuff about people. When it got really into the weeds of things, I had to pretend like I was writing about somebody else. Like it was me and they're all two stories, but then it was like disconnected from it

somehow. Why? Because it was too, it was, I couldn't believe that I was, that I, first of I couldn't believe half of the shit I've done. I just, writing a book just made me so grateful for my life and the people that have been in it. This is really a love letter to all the beautiful people, the, you know, the Rickles and the Gary Marshall. Certainly my parents. I love my parents so much.

My mom, you know, wrote me these little notes and I hope you guys do something like this for your kids. I already swear on my life. I'm going to do this for my son and daughter, the little notes she wrote. Let's do it now. We can write something. No, no, no. Talk to us about the notes that she wrote you. She wrote, she was so sweet.

She would just write these random notes and give them to us sometimes. Sometimes I wouldn't. she wouldn't. And my sisters, when they asked me to do a book, I was like, no way. I don't have any, I'm not that interesting. I don't, I'm not very articulate. It's very, you know, I'm not a writer like this. And then I was a father, so I was trying to think about what it meant to be a father at 92, an older, you know, father in his 50s. And then Bob died. And I wrote this sort of a tribute to him in the LA Times and my book agent, I guess, and a couple of publishers saw that and I said, oh, you should write a book. I'm like, no. But I sort of, I kept saying no. And they said, well, just try. I said, I don't want to try.

And then I thought about my mom's letters, and I laid them out, and I got some for my sisters. I was like, okay, well, that's a good roadmap anyway to start with. Here, let me read one of the letters. Dear, and I used her writing, you know, and stuff. So cute. Dear Johnny, do not release your memoir on the same day as Britney Spears. Well, thanks, Mom.

You didn't. No, this was interesting. This was the first one I put in here. You did release it on the same day as Britney Spears. I didn't choose to. You know I bought both your memory. You bought hers first. Well, luckily in that,

world you can kind of get both of them right but I yeah yeah that people I mean so when I was talking about the when I was doing the first chapter and I was getting in my car fucked up like an idiot I swear to you I saw this I had it framed this note of hers that says don't ever give the devil a ride because he will end up doing the driving when she died and I talk about losing both of them and it was so it was really difficult and I was at my worst maybe two or three weeks after she passed away I'm crying in her house I'm trying to start to clean up stuff and I see this little note she had this, you know, stationary the last couple of years. And I found it and I looked at it says, Dear son, life is an occasion, rise to it. Don't be sad because I died, happy because I lived.

I had a wonderful life. She did that. Yeah. The letters really give your book heart. It's very, very honest. And your relationship with your mother, Bob and Don, seems to be a big part of the book. You had really deep relationships with those three people. Yeah, Bob sort of is all the way through, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yesterday was his two year, the two-year anniversary

of his death. He seemed like the best friend. You guys would have loved that. He'd have been great on your show because he said, funny.

People don't realize, I mean, maybe they do how fucking funny that guy was. Really, yeah. I love, you know,

I study these stand-ups. I'm a student of comedy. I would never do it, but I love watching the mechanics of it. You see how these guys, Bert, it was just in here,

right? He tells these great stories that's so fucking funny, but it's timing and words. they're geniuses with the word. And Rickles was, you know, was the greatest ever.

But Bob and I didn't like each other when I started the show. I came from, I was working with Jack Klugman, who was an old famous actor and he really mentored me a lot about, certainly about acting in life, really. Jack would make me, they would have a punch-up night

a certain day or the week, and he would have all these famous writers come in, Jerry Belson or Harvey Miller, I'm sure you're writing. But Gary Marshall, that's where I met Gary Marshall. And I would sit in the corner and watch how they would construct a scene

and fix jokes. into that. So I came into Full House with that. And Bob was coming, he's just a comic. He was a junkie for laughs. I mean, he was like a heroin addict. He had to have them. And it didn't, he wasn't really getting him on the show in the beginning. So he had to make the crew laugh, which was, you know, fine a little bit of the time. But he was very disruptive. We were talking about yesterday. So we didn't get along at all. And it took a while before. But once we had locked in, you know, we were just there for each other, all three of us. The third season, I think it was, Bob's sister got scleroderma, which is a horrific disease that he'd been advocating for

and raising a lot of money for until the day he died. And then Dave's sister had a very terrible cancer, cervical cancer. And then my sister had a brain tumor. So now we were three, just the three guys on a show, we were three brothers grieving for our sisters. Bob's sister died, Dave's sister. I thank God my sister made it out alive.

She was misdiagnosed and it was MS and she's doing great. From that moment on, I think we were just as one. And we just been there for each other for everything. All the highs, all the lows, you know, in between our careers. When he passed, what did that do to you personally? Oh, God. Because it wasn't like he didn't have cancer or some long-term thing. Like, it was just like, you know, I remember it was a Sunday.

And I got a call from my press agent. And two weeks before, this is true. He got a call from TMZ. They said I went down on a plane crash. They had sources that said I did. You did. A couple weeks before, Bob, said I went down in a plane crash. near San Diego. And so Matt, my publicist immediately called. I didn't answer the phone, but my wife

did. And this is John, okay? She's like, yeah, he's sleeping upstairs. Don't wake him up. So that was bullshit. Two weeks later, Matt calls again on a Sunday. He's, what's up? Have you talked to Bob today? No, why? How is he? I don't know. I don't know. I think he's doing a gig in Florida, but you haven't talked to. No, why? Well, TMZ called and said that he, that he died in Florida. I'm like, well, what sources? You know, the same bullshit. I said, well, I don't know. So I texted him, texted him. And he would usually, even if he was on a plane, he would text you back. He would text or call you and say, I'm too busy to talk. I said, why did you call me then? But he didn't text back. And then I started calling his wife. She didn't answer. Then I got this weird text from Candice.

And she said, I got this DM that said from some, some woman who said her sister's a police officer and she's sorry that Bob died in Florida. I'm like, oh, shit. Oh, this is too many, right? So I called her and she, she read it to me again. And then as I was talking to Candace, Kelly, his wife called me and she told me. And I was in the parking lot. I was driving my son around to sleep and I was in the parking lot of the commons up there. And I just hit the cement. I'd never forget. He was asleep. Thank God. And then I called Lori and she flipped. She did the same thing. She hit, she was on a golf course. She said, grass was probably softer than the pavement. And then Dave, I called. I said, Dave, Bob Sagitt died. I was like, I don't know why I said

his last name, but we were all in such shock. It was shocking. You know, it was like, what's that fuck? And it's taken me this amount of time to go, like, wait a minute, now, he hit his head. Like, what was that about? He was bigger than life. And he was, here's the thing. He always told you, I love you, I care about you. I'm proud of you. Give you the biggest hug, always. And that's something we should, you know, keep alive for his legacy. He really seemed like a really great friend. He also seemed, when you write about him, that he wanted to be telling, like you said, he told the crew, he wanted to be telling, like, really disgusting jokes, but he's like

America's father. Yeah, right, yeah. Well, he was always, I guess he was always dirty, so we knew it, you know. Yeah, he was pretty bad. But it was, you know, drove me crazy because I'm in there trying to work a scene and try to fix, why has it funny or why is Michelle saying, you got to do it when there's, There's no, there's a turtle in the room. Right.

It's a turtle. You got a turtle maybe. And Bob would, we'd be at that iconic kitchen table and he would grab a fork and just start stabbing it. I hate my cock and just like stab, you know, make a stabbing motion. It was too much. Was he jealous that you were like the ladies man on the show? Well, I think so. I mean, he went, you know, at his funeral, his first wife, Sherry came up to him.

She was hugging me and she was like, Bob loved you so much. He also hated you. He was so jealous. But, you know, as it turns out that I, it was interesting because I hadn't watched the show in a long time, and my son was watching it recently. And it was a scene where Danny and Jesse were talking about how they wished they had each other. They were jealous of each other. Like, I was a rock and roll guy free, and he had a family. And that's how I was with him.

I was always, first of all, I was jealous of his comedic timing and the way he could just be so brilliant on stage. And then also he had a family of three girls, and I was out. I didn't. So that all changed, I think. And then we became just really supportive of each other. That was interesting for me to read. I thought you were like this, I don't know if players the right word, but I thought like you were like the bad boy. And in the book, you could tell you were wanting a family. I think some of my contemporaries at the time were out, you know, the playboy mans or not stuff. I didn't do any of that like you, Michael. I would imagine if I was in your shoes and there was that amount of female attention, that would be

hard to stay focused at times. You know, I swear to God, I, I wasn't, I wasn't aware of it. Like, I wasn't, there wasn't a social media. You really didn't know how popular you were. Yeah, you weren't getting in some feedback. No DMs. You know, yeah, no DMs. And I really was, it was always just, in high school, in junior, I think it was, no, in high

school, it started to change then. And I was this goofy kid. I was like doing like stunts and magic and puppets and not, things that really don't turn girls on that much. I started playing drums, which was helpful. I'll never forget it. Maybe you had this. Were you good looking, you know, forever?

I mean, since you were. I don't, no, I think I was like, no, I was never, I never felt like the guy, I wasn't super confident when I was younger. Right. Right. And I got bullied when I was. What? Why?

I don't know. Probably, I was always like, I've always been headstrong and I've always been outspoken. Smart ass kind of thing? Yeah. I didn't, I guess I wasn't that aware that girl, he said, oh, with all those girls after you. There was no, you know, social media, so I didn't know. I mean, I did, you know, appearances and stuff, and there was a lot of that kind of thing. But I always wanted to find the one and settle down.

I wanted to be, I wanted a family like my mom and dad. But once you did know, and once the success of the show and your platform, and you become known, how do you even start to, how do you stay focused when there is, when you start to realize, okay, there is some attention here. Here's the honest truth. I felt, I would go to bed too early. And my friends call me the, you know, something waster. Like, I would, like, there would be girls that would want to hang out, but I was like,

could sleep, sorry. You know, I, I, I, I would. really was. Now I stay up later, but I was, I was, but I mean, I mean, I went out, but it was, it was so, it was so much more innocent. And I, and I wasn't evolved. I mean, I wasn't very much mature. I was very, as you, hopefully you get that from the book. Like, I was so naive and I was so, you know, I was a little kid from Orange County that was quite sheltered and it was all sort of a dream to me, right? And it wasn't sophisticated enough to go, okay, here's my goal. I can't remove that. You know, I just, I just went, I just went with what, what I was given, or more my life

was taking me. I didn't overthink it. I wasn't that smart. I wasn't that introspective. You know, now I am I think, you know, therapy and growing up. And I never found, I never thought I was smart. That was the thing. And I had a girl tell me that I wasn't. And it stuck with me till to this day probably. And I think it was just one of those things where I just felt I wasn't smart enough to keep up with people. And I just wasn't, I didn't go to college and I just didn't feel very book smart. And, and I would drink to be, you know, come off funnier or, or, or, maybe smarter, but I didn't.

Then I wrote this book, and it was like a number four bestseller on the New York Times. It's like the Wizard of Oz, right, like the Scarecrow. I don't have a brain. You have it. You just didn't. Here's your diploma. That's what this is.

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slash skinny today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, help.com slash skinny. Betterhelp.com slash skinny. You know, we had Janice Dickinson in here on Monday. And we were talking about the same kind of thing. Did we ask her about you?

We didn't ask her about you. Should we have asked her? No, no, I don't know. I don't know her. No, the point is she was, quote, unquote, like the first super model and she was saying some of the same things. He does a couple models.

Where, like, a lot of people who was like, there was such a focus on the looks that like sometimes people didn't take the mind seriously and there's like a complex that gets developed and I imagine if you're on a show being told like you're the looks guy don't we don't want to hear about the mind type thing

like that can reinforce some of those yeah maybe yeah I just I didn't yes but I didn't think I didn't think it like I didn't I wasn't think about that kind of stuff I was like well this make it funny I was really into acting I really wanted to be a respected actor and it's taken a long time just to kind of go here I am motherfucker you know that's it

and no matter what I did it was still Uncle Jesse, Uncle Jesse. You know, ER was a great run for me and some of these things. And I started doing theater, which a lot of people don't know about it. I talk about it in here. And the last, I did four musicals. I did Annie. The son will calm out.

Just kidding. The musicals, and then the last show I did was with James Earl Jones, arguably the greatest, you know, living actor of our generation. And Angela Lansbury was in it. It was a three-hour, Gorviedahl political drama. It would be great now. It's called The Best Band on Broadway. And it was, and I did the run. I became pretty close to James Earl Jones.

He called me a little John. I call him Big Daddy. We'd be at a curtain call, and I was standing next to some of the curtain call, and we'd been down. Just when he was just out of him, there's some boobies in the third row, you know, like this. Did you guys hear that? Michael's like, what? Boobbies in the third row?

Yeah. But on the last day, we worked really hard, and I worked really hard on that show. And the last day, the show was, we finished the last show on a Sunday. We were walking out, and they were sort of, you know, taking stuff down on the stuff. stage and I said, James, I have to tell you, you've done something for me that no one's ever done. You've legitimized me. I mean, to be on stage with you for three hours and to do this kind of

material, I think that people completely have a new respect for me and don't see me the way they used to. Yeah, it was, I imagine, like, at times, even though it was a great platform, maybe it's frustrating to be the Uncle Jesse all the time. Right. And so this was it. This was which I thought it was the end of it. Just as I'm saying, thank you for changing people's perception of me, the stage door opens and, Paul, Uncle Jesse, say you have mercy. And I'm like, oh my God, like my face,

I couldn't look at him. And he was standing there. And I was like, I'm going to scoot out in between someone's legs and run the fuck away from Broadway and be done with it. And just as I was trying to, like, not look at him, I kind of took a peek and somebody was holding a phone next to her.

Say, James, say, Luke, I am your father, Luke, for my kid. And we just looked at each other and just laughed. I said, fuck it, you know, fuck it. He's what it is. You know, I really haven't, it took me a long time to learn how to act. I think some people know it right away, like your guy from Batman.

They come out of the gate like DiCaprio or Jennifer Lawrence or something. They're great. Some, it takes 25 years and I think I'm in that category. But it really didn't start to hit until I stopped giving a fuck. You know what I mean? And I got confidence. And I stopped drinking like nine years in June. So that helped a lot too.

And I was like, I can go into any room. I can be with anybody. I'll audition, I'll act. I've done so. You have to, I have to just have confidence in everything. And you guys were talking about it. It was so true. It was like, I don't give a fuck if I'm embarrassed, if I'm embarrassed myself.

Who cares? To who? You're embarrassed? I'm fuck off. I don't mean to be that shitty, but I just stopped caring. And all of a sudden, this respect came and people, you know, were giving me great jobs. And I don't know. I think that's part of my success.

No, I think that's it. And we, you know, for us, I used to say, like, my biggest fear when I was younger was Like if I had to speak in front of anybody or public speaking, and now obviously we do this all the time. But I think it's like you get to the point where it's like, I don't give a fuck

and you realize that most people are just thinking about themselves. Yeah, they don't know. Yeah, I talked about like, I auditioned for ER early on, right? About a year after Clooney left. And I thought they were going to offer me their role. And they said, well, no,

there's going to have a little meeting. I thought it was going to be, you know, John Wells who created the show and maybe one other person. And they said, oh, and here the pages. Pages, what do you mean? Well, everybody's reading. everybody, I thought this is my role.

And I went in, I was so fucking nervous. And I'm, it was the hottest day, I was in the valley. And, um, and I was sweating on a black t-shirt. I was daving my face in the bathroom on toilet pit, you know, it was terrible. And I walked in and I literally barfed and shit and threw, I was awful. And I couldn't even, I couldn't even talk. I was like, ah, yeah, and I just, like all these medical jargon. I'm like, oh, fuck, I start sweating more and more.

And they're not laughing at anything. Like, no sense you ever. And I was just like, oh my God, I got to get it. I just kind of, thank you. We should do a show on hyperhydrosis, you know, sweating. Remember sweating, palmed? Okay, bye. It was terrible.

And I was so embarrassed. John Wells was, you know, my idol. I really wanted to work with him. I just, I went home, I went home, and I called the casting, and I said, how was it? He goes, I never heard this term. He goes, you shit the bed. I'm like, what?

You shit the bed. You know, I said, well, it was hot, you know, whatever. Years later, they offered me a part on the show. And I was like, oh, my God, what do I say? I hadn't seen any of those people, the producers, John Wells. I was so embarrassed. You know, it's just like it ate me alive. And I'm laying on a gurney with blood all over me, just like the audition.

And John Wells comes up, hey, John, welcome to the show. I'm like, oh, hi, John. Listen, about that audition years ago, I was so sorry. I was so, he goes, what? I remember when I came in an audition for you guys? No. Oh, no? Oh, when you, yeah.

I said, oh, I was sweaty. I was, don't wait. Look, we were worried that you were too much like Clooney. And as soon as you walked in the room, we all said, oh, we're not going to do this to John. And that's why we didn't have you to do this. We wanted to wait for something like this new role and let a few years go by without him.

So all those years, I was stressing about, you know, fucking up in front of these guys. They didn't even think the decision before they even... Yeah. And they think people don't, right? You spend half your life worrying about shit that never happens. It's funny, when I told everyone that you were coming in, I said John Stamos.

Not Uncle Jesse. I said John Stamos. Everyone knew right away. Do you think that this book has... Because, like, I feel like, I don't think of you as Uncle Jesse. I think of you as John Stamos. Do you think that this book has helped with that? I'm not sure.

I mean, you... I mean, this is like... I think this should be a... Like, this is a pretty big moment, the book. I never thought about writing a book. I never... When we made the New York Best Times, I was like, oh, is that good? They're like, yeah.

Are you kidding? But it is. Because it's my, you know, it's my legacy, and it's going to leave it for my son, and I got to talk nice about my wife and stuff. So, yeah, I mean, thank you. I hate being serious. Can you tell? I'm like, I have 50 jokes going through my head. Well, you could tell by maybe the people that you should have. Like, I told you, the first, I mean, I obviously was very aware of you, but I was maybe not the target audience for full house. And when I fell in love with what you do and everything is when you had, I said I was driving home. I was a huge stern fan. You came with Rickles. And I was like, and I thought it was such an interesting pairing. Right. But if you, now talking to you, it makes sense. You. Oh, me and Don? Yeah. But it makes sense, like, just the people you surround yourself with. like they're funny fucking people. I guess. I don't know why some of these people.

And even Howard. Like me. Yeah, Howard. I mean, yeah, I don't, I don't know. How do you even come across paths and become that close with someone like Rickles? Well, Rickles was. You know what I mean? Like if you were mapping two people, you're like, okay, let's see.

Yeah, let's see who's gonna pair together. Did you start, you loved him? Do you watch him? I watched all. I used to go on YouTube and watch all his old things. I watched when he roasted Reagan. I watched the stand up. I watched his.

Remember when he said, Emmanuel Lewis was introducing him and Don Rickles and walks down. the whole thing and he's he he and right before Don went to grab the mic Emmanuel says be funny and you know the place blah and Don said I'm not I'm just I'm repeating Don I'm not this is not my joke but he said well there's one a little black boy that'll never play basketball I was like oh I go Don how did you what who what did it's he never had writers he said just I'm just doing records I'm doing records I got to show him a bunch of stuff that he did on you when YouTube came out of one over his house he forgot about

maybe well he never saw like he did tonight show that's so many times they never saw him And I'd be like, oh my God, how did you? Shut up. I'm just doing wrinkles. God damn it, I'm funny. He was, you know, when I met him, he wasn't, people thought he was dead. It was before this resurgence. Like we did this documentary about him on, and that won an Emmy forum.

It was on HBO? I think so, yeah. Yeah. It came out, yeah. Mr. Warmth, great, you know. And then all of a sudden these tributes started to come around. And it was beautiful to see him get his, his do. He would say, John, you know, came over here.

Johnny Depp came out. Oh, yeah. Johnny Depp come lately. Johnny, I've been here 10 years with you, you know. I met him at a restaurant, and we just started talking, and then he was, you know, his son died at a young age, and that was horrific. You know, so maybe he thought of me like that.

We spent a lot of time. I called, we talked for hours on the phone. He wouldn't think, right? No, but it makes sense now when you're talking. I could see that. He probably got your sense of humor, and obviously. Howard loved him and said he was the reason why he got into comment. And so Don, I don't want to talk about who I'm stupid,

I'm not going to go on that show. I said, it's a different, he loves you. Did you tell Howard you were bringing him on? Because I thought it was like a surprise. It was. It was like, I was bringing a new girl and I wanted their opinion. I just kind of, you know, because I barged in.

Now, it was a surprise for everybody, but Howard, like that you don't surprise him, I guess. But Artie and Rob and everybody was like, he walked in. And it was incredible decision. I don't know if you've seen it. I know you said you heard it live. I saw it, and I watched it after,

but I heard it. I was driving home from the desert. Michael is a big fan of you on Howard and Don Rick. Well, because I used to do these long commutes when I was chasing her, and I would drive from Arizona all the way to San Diego. But you didn't grow up or so you, but I went to school out there, Arizona State,

where you had sex with other girls. And that's when Ardy was on the show. Right, right. And so those were like, I feel like those are like pretty crazy stern days. Yeah, he was, and then you came on. But anyway.

But it was beautiful to watch because Howard stood up, took his glasses off, called him Mr. Rickles, and the two of them here are bonding on being so unpopular with girls that they had to be funny. And it was a beautiful thing to watch. What did he say? Did you struggle with women? Howard's like, yeah, look, yeah.

Yeah, he said, no. Howard said, yeah, I did too. He said, oh, really, you look like a Jewzulu. Jusulu. How did you get that? Well, the cool thing about him was, and I don't know if you could even get away with it these days, but he would just rip on everybody. It didn't matter who you were, background, race, greed.

Yeah. But it was funny. It was a different time, you know, and he was not. not racist. He didn't have a racist bone on his body. And if, and if, because a lot of people, oh, that's racist. Look, he, he was making fun of bigotry. Like, he was, he was like doing Archie Bunker or something, you know. It's like, look at what, you know, what they did on that show and the great Norman Lear. Like, this is, here's an example of a fucking moron, you know. And Dom would sort of highlight that and, you know, say it was terrible. You know, obviously,

he was one of a kind. Yeah, I loved him. I loved him. Was Howard so starstruck when he came on? With Don, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He just loved it. So when you... Did you guys ever go to SeaWorld? Yeah, of course. Yeah.

You went to Disneyland. We just took our daughter to Disneyland and we did the little... You used to go every single week when you were little. Yeah. And you got engaged there. Yes. What's the Stamos experience at Disneyland? Are they just...

I don't under... I feel like you're having a different experience in most people. Well, I didn't when I was a kid. You know, obviously, I went there to meet, you know, I remember standing in line for the Matterhorn. My dad's members-only jacket and his... shitty aramis cologne. I got zits and my head feather.

Like I look like a dead crow landed on my head or something. I don't know about that. I'm going to need proof of that. Listen, I was the caterpillar. And then when I slowly started turning to the butterfly, that's when girls started like me and guys want to beat me up like you.

No, I'm too. Michael, Michael, Michael doesn't like bullies. You guys would have gotten along. We still do. I was standing in line trying to pick up girls and go and was like, you know, and they would just walk right past me and stuff. Oh, did they make a mistake? Well, you go like, you go like, man, if you would have told me back then that I'd be on this show today, I'd have my own stuff.

And, you know, and girls would kind of like me, and I'd have the Disneyland sign in my back yard. I collected Disney stuff. I don't think they just kind of like you. I had to turn the fucking AC on in here. No. It's all weird. It's all weird, you know. It's surreal.

Yeah, that's how it is. For you, and I always find this interesting because we've had, sometimes, even, like, all the time, we have moments on my, man, this is really kind of just like, Like when you and Bert came on, this was, I was said, I'm like, this is a surreal moment. Really? What do you, yeah, for sure. What are some of the most surreal moments you've had? We were like, wow. Like, we were talking to Janice.

She dated Mick Jeyer. She's like, we had to. We talked to us about the Beach Boys experience when you first got to go on stage with them. Yeah, I mean, like I imagine that's just like some things, even, you know, no matter what levels or peaks you reach. Like there's probably some moments. Now, right now. Yeah. Yes, there are.

And you guys have had them, I'm sure, a ton, right? I mean, you talked about it. But like when you first, you talk about Jesse, what I'm talking about. knowing someone the first million. Well, what were you when you made a million dollars? How old was I? Taylor, when was it? Like 25? 24?

Yeah, in that range. Has Taylor been around that long? Taylor may have worked together for a long time. No shit. We're 12. Taylor, too? Taylor. Oh, wow.

We call him cucumber, though, because shaves my genitals. If you want to know how fast I made the first million and then how cucumber, how quickly I lost two, that's a difference. Did you? Well, you loaned it to your dad? No. Wait a minute.

Let's go back to cucumber dick. Oh, you don't know about cucumber dick? No. Okay. So, he shaves himself bare. He shaves himself bare and it causes all this razor burn. Oh, okay. And then he comes to me and he asks me how to get rid of razor burn.

Why you? I mean, she's my confidant. Use an ice roller. And then he also had a problem with coming too quickly. Premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation. Thanks, Tyler. I know what it's, I know what it is.

We've gone through this. We had to fix that with edging. Okay. Yep, yeah. We had to work on that. And now he's gotten a little better. He can last two minutes. Oh, yeah.

No, trust me. Now there's no complaints. It's good. Michael just got on these vitamins. Oh my God, they're amazing. Taylor, can you please look up with one? Andrew Huberman. We'll get back to your millions, but...

Yeah, I want to hear... Tell everyone about your vitamins. No, there's a... Oh, Tongot, Oli and Fidoja... It's like a Viagra. They're all natural supplements, but... You should get on those, Taylor. It helps naturally boost testosterone.

Okay, I'm in. It's Fidogia agrestis. How is anyone supposed to fucking spell that? Do you ever listen to Andrew Huberman? Are you aware of him? He does, he talks about it. And it's a sub. Can you tell me after Taylor?

Yeah. Give me some of your, some of yours. But I want it because, but I wanted to put on more muscle. Oh, you are not for me. Yeah. Taylor, how do you think of, what do you think of, if you want to last longer, think of, he tried. He tried everything.

The edging work. You basically go all the way to climax. It is. You go all the way to climax, but you don't release. So basically, like, once you do that, you build up to that point where you're like, okay, there have been, I've had mistakes. There's a big piece of glass behind us. Well, there's been times where I've gotten too close.

the edge and then just bursted, but, you know, right, right, yeah. It's all about trauma. Did you remember listen to the show? No, she does not. Okay, good, good. She does not listen to the show. I didn't know it was this, uh, but he told a story about edging with this one girl who did listen to the show unbeknownst to him and that ended up. Oh, it really ruined everything. He literally ruined everything. Because I went to her, I had edged for like a month straight and then I went over to her

house. Oh, you'd never, had an orgasm for a month? For a month. And then she, her and we started to get, she started to like get down, like, go down. And I was like, hold on. And I literally like put my, I like, I threw my shirt under. I was like, I got to go to the bathroom really quick, and I was, like, busting my load all over my belly. That's good. Yeah, he was excited.

Get off, get off the mind. Now he jacks off three times a day. Really? I don't know where he does it, but. Yeah. I'm sorry, this is your studio. This is a lot of information, real. Is he super inspiring?

Like, how he, you know, he's a hardworking bastard, right? He's a hardworking bastard. You are a hardworking bastard. Do you look at him and go, I mean, you're more successful, but, I mean, do you look at him and go, wow, this guy is my man. right? It depends on the thing. No, she bust my balls and

grinds and dust. I like to bust his balls. You should edge his balls. I do all kinds of things. How many times? How often do you guys have sick? You probably talk about it. We're doing good right now.

A lot. We're doing good. We're doing good. With marriage, as you know, it ends and flows. We got some good winning last night. Yeah. Well, that's because you're Tom Young, whatever.

Jesus Christ. Every single guy needs to be, I don't care. It's not like a testosterone replacement. It's vitamin. Every single guy needs to be on this. You should have them in the candy jars. You should have them in the candy jars next to the vibrators.

Grab a vibrator. The office is going to turn into a... For a girl during sex. Right. Grab a Tom Yum, whatever. It'll up everything. That's all I need is. And then Brooke just told us a story about how Leanne licked his nipple.

And it was the best orgasm he's ever had. So tonight, Michael's going to get his nipple licked. Are they pierced Michael? No, they're not. Probably. He looks like a pierced. Only three on one. No.

What's that? What? What? Are you pierced down there? No. Why did you say what? No, Taylor looks pierced, but it's just razor-burned. Oh, Taylor, right, right, right, right.

When I was doing Little Mermaid Live, I was playing The Chef, and for some reason, so. No big deal when I was doing The Little Mermaid Live. Look. That's my other favorite. It is. The range of this show, we go from edging to Little Mermaid Live. Yes. He's, I mean, no, I don't.

Well, you're going to sing forever, too. Do it. Do it. You will do it. We're not leaving with that. You'll do it before we leave. Don't you sing on every show. But I went to, I was doing the thing, you know, I did it at the Hollywood board.

I mean, yes, it's insane. I can't believe I'm saying half this stuff. A little mermaid is insane. But I played the chef, like Le Poisson, Le Poisson. And I didn't know how I was going to do it. And I thought, I'm going to just play this guy fucking bad shit crazy, you know. And I did. And at the end of the thing, because I'm throwing flour and I was doing all this stuff.

And at the end, they shoot this big ball of flour at my face. And the characters, Prince Philip, right, is the young guy in the show. but I had this joke and they said oh do it live and I said oh it hits me I go man I should have played Prince Albert live on ABC Prince Albert is a piercing down there right Michael like you have

show the people at home no how come you weren't Eric because I'm old because Eric was like a young he should be Eric is that what I said Prince Eric but I said Prince Albert which is the piercing down there but you should have played Prince Eric No well that was a young guy

Of all your gigs you've ever done what is your favorite that's a good question I love doing cabaret on brought home really you could tell that was your favorite oh man I loved it that looked that's your favorite that's your favorite Michael everything well I got to here let me show you you know what I was gonna show is that like burlesque cabaret no it's a movie about um Nazis and uh you know it was it was controversial right well it was a movie first with Eliza menlli yeah wow yeah that was your favorite of everything but you just it stretched you the most or just like

made you? Well, it was not long after, like, doing theater was, I'm not really a great singer, I'm not a really great dancer, but like you guys talk about in the show, like, I just, I just, I just worked really hard. I worked 10, 12 hours a day, and I always thought, well, if I could just, if I do that, I can do anything. And I did, and I did, you know, and the first show I did was, had a succeeding business without really trying. I replaced Matthew Broderick, like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like, I've been dying to get back to that fearless guy, you know, forever, but sometimes I do, but then cabaret. But, you know, this guy's like a pansexual, you know,

gay Jewish guy who would fuck a goat who kind of, there is a goat fucking scene behind a curtain. But I don't know how I was going to do it. And I started leaning into it and people were walking out. And I was like, oh my God, what am I doing? And I talked, then director Sam Mendez was directing and also Rob Marshall. And I said, what? I said, you're doing it right.

You're doing everything right. Don't, don't lean into it. And I just kept trying to make people walk out, you know, Because they thought they were coming to see Uncle Jesse. I'm like, you know. Not that. Yeah, there's Kit Kat girls and I'm dry humping. And, you know, there's a lot of sexual overtones.

At this point, are you married? I was married to Rebecca. You're married to Rebecca. You know what's interesting is everyone in the press tried to make it seem like you were, and you mentioned this in one of your things on Instagram that you were saying, I don't want to say mean things that you were like saying things that weren't nice about her, but you actually were very self-aware of yourself and took accountability of yourself. They didn't really, I feel like they just pulled a snippet. What do they call it? Like clickbait.

They just pulled a clickbait. You thought it was this and that? You were really like lovely and self-aware on your own end and took full accountability for your doing in the marriage. Yeah, it was hard because I thought it was all her and she ruined my life and, you know, and I ruined my dreams of having a wife and a kid. We always talk about having children and that sort of faded. I let myself get sort of lost in that relationship and a lot of partying and it was you know it just got too much she could handle it I couldn't and but it was a time where I thought you know I've done enough I like I'm gonna just prop her up and it was beautiful to watch her become successful and then you know then then then when it busted up it was you know it was very difficult very hard for many many years and I think I felt I just went on too

long my dad died at the same time I started drinking even more and it was this terrible and I just blamed her for everything bad in my life which was so and then when I went to rehab, you're doing the steps, and one of the steps is, the fourth step is like, you write down all your resentments in one column. So, you know, write down, you know, what people have done you. She did this. She did them, filling the pay, and the sponsors said, you're done it. Like, no, give me another pencil. Writing. And he said, okay, good. I said, now in the next column, write down what part you played and all that. It's, pf, get the fight and pain. Because even if it's 5%, one, two percent, just write it. And as I'm writing, and I was really

brutally honest with myself at that moment. I realized, oh, well, I had, maybe I had as much to do with the demise of the marriage as she did. It was just two people, you know, no good guys, no bad guys. It just didn't work out. I wasn't mature enough. I wasn't smart enough. I was with her around 10 years, 35 to, no, 30 to 40. A married to like 35. I can imagine that you're both such good-looking people and if you're young and it's all, everyone's throwing themselves at you, it's a lot of pressure at that age. But it wasn't like that. I mean, you two are just good, it's just good looking at we work.

Do you have people throwing them? You're like on the red carpet and you're like, I think it's different because. Working with other actresses and she's working with other actors. It's just a lot. It would, it would be a lot of pressure. I think it's different because. Yeah, I mean, yes.

You guys as celebrities are also, I mean, I watch sometimes producing some of these shows when celebrities come on and like the way, like, okay, we can do a show with an entrepreneur. And it's like, okay, cool, every, whatever Tuesday. Sometimes. That's the backbone on the show, though, right? Yeah, a lot. And I learned a lot.

I like that Jesse guy. He was really good. He's amazing. He's amazing. But sometimes I see, like, it'll be a little tiny clip that said in one of the, it'll be a small clip that said for one minute in a long show, but it's a celebrity. And I see 18 publications just going in and saying all. And I'm like, that's not really what the whole thing was about.

It was just they pulled this one. And I imagine that kind of narrative and pressure from. the outside all the time. What I like about doing this is I can say whatever I want and can kind of control the narrative. But I feel like you guys are at the mercy a lot of the time of whatever people decide to write. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I remember being in here and we had a long conversation about Full House and how it started and the first, I talked about it in here, but the first scene that we did with the Olson twins, I mean, there were babies, you know, and they didn't want to be there and they were screaming and crying and I'm trying to do my lines

and they're screaming over my line. And I asked them to get rid of, you know, to bring in some other kids because we couldn't get through a scene. They didn't want to be there. It makes sense. And that's all that they took out of that. Josh Stabas fired the tolls into his way.

Maybe I saw that one too. Yeah, see? I mean, it's click bed. I didn't find. I mean, Josh and Ben were probably happy. Yeah, well, then they, TikTok's getting very, getting very mean.

Like, I'll go on Instagram now and stuff, but it's didn't, it's too much. I think that they've cultivated, listen, the TikTok's you're going to match. I think they, they've cultivated an environment where there's a lot of tearing down on that platform. More so than I've seen on other platforms. What's interesting, I was going to say,

what's kind of a, you know, you want to be interesting. You want to be honest about stuff, especially in these long forms, which is so brilliant for you guys to be doing because, I mean, Howard sort of started, right? Sure, of course. But to sit and talk for an hour,

you really get to get everything out. You don't have to, you know, you guys probably don't talk shows. You see it's got, you're on for eight minutes, a Fallon or whatever. You've got to come up, four jokes and the thing. So to be able to do this is great. But you can get, you know,

you can get yourself in trouble, too. But also, like, you know, like, I mean, this is all respect. If they were like, hey, John Samo's wants to come in and talk about his book for five minutes, like, that's not what I want to, that's not the conversation I want to have. I don't think there's any, you know, and I don't think that's a conversation that. But you have to do it on the other shows, but that's what's so great about your show. Anyway. Why don't you start a podcast if you would have told me by John Stamos? I like to ask questions.

I like to learn about people. You'd be good on a mic. I feel like I could just sit back and you could just take over right now. Yeah. I know. Maybe once a month you come in and host a show. Do a co-host thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You guys should do a co-host on your hair. Would anybody even know that they switched Michael with him because they both look, they're both good-looking? I can't put my hair back like that. I'm sure you can. Be handsome. Should we call my wife? Yeah, call your wife. I'm dying to hear about your wife now.

She's beautiful. She is beautiful. And the way that you asked her to marry you, you wrote about in the book, is so cute. Can you tell Michael the way you asked? Can you even explain it? Don't make me look bad here. It's so cute. How did you ask you?

You were 12. No, no, you go. Don't worry about it. You did ask me the second I saw the one night's steak, you said, will you marry me? You tell your story. Is this a snake talk or is it hip? You tell your story. Did you get jealous?

Did you get jealous? Yeah. I don't ever get hit on. That's what Kate. That's my wife says. It's bullshit. I never get hit on. Get bullshit.

Ever. I don't believe it. Do I get jealous? You get jealous? No. Because I don't get hit on. You get jealous? I like to leave with fear.

Sometimes. You what's that? I like to lead with fear sometimes. Leave with fear? Lead with fear. Oh, lead, okay. I like to keep him guessing. He never knows.

Oh, that's fucked up. Yeah. My wife does it too. It's like, what are they thinking? And then you try to go a couple of things. I told him if he ever cheated on me, I wouldn't bring it up for two years. Ooh. So you'd stay with him?

Yep. And I would collect data. Yeah, who knows what happens at the end of that two years. Would you collect? Right. I'm not one of those girls that would call and freak out. I would just sit. Slowly?

Slowly? No, you know what? Is that? I don't think we get jealous. I think that's, we don't get jealous in our relationship. I mean, I think the reason being is like, sure, I've seen, no, let's your bullshit. Guys hit on you. No, they don't. They don't. They really don't hit on me. I'm not trying to get a compliment. I don't. Like, of course they're in it. Like, what kind of, you know, let me put it this way. I wouldn't want to be with someone that's, I would know, like, nobody would hit on. Of course, yeah. What about flirt? Like if you saw her flirting with somebody?

No, he doesn't care. You don't care. Yeah, okay, good. You're confident. That's good. He's quietly confident. You're good. I mean, listen, here's the what I really feel.

It's like any other guy who take it. Good luck, buddy. Now! How many years have you guys been together? Ten years? 17. 17. 17?

16. Yeah, I don't know the exact. 16. But we've known each other for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a long time. There is one thing that I will never give up. And that is bread. I love bread. I have to have a slice every single day. I'm just like a

bread person. Bread with a lot of butter, bread with jam, bread with Nutella, bread with cream cheese. I'll eat any kind of bread. And there is this brand. It is called hero bread. And it's really a hero. So basically it has zero to one grams of net carbs, zero sugar, and it's high in fiber. So they hit all the points. It's to live. It's a little. It's a little. It's a little. It's a lot. It's It's flavorful. The one that I like that I can't shut up about is the hero seeded bread. It is so good. Toasted with grass fed butter and a little bit of jam. Sometimes I'll do like an egg on top of it. I'm telling you, try it. You will love it. If you want to make a BLT with it, we also have like hamburger buns and tortillas. I'm just really into bread, so I love the seeded bread. But you can go on and just check out all the carbs.

They have something for every single craving. Like I said, buns, tortillas, breadloafs, go check them out. They have a monthly small batch, two, of indulgent favorites. There's like a hero croissant that has two grams of net carbs. And then they also have a hero cheddar biscuit with one net carb. They've set out to make a bread that's low in carbs with no sugar. It's 45 calories, 5 grams of protein, and 11 grams of fiber. Sign me up.

Please. It's my dream of life. Don't give up on being a breadhead. Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.com and use code Skinny at checkout. That's Skinny at hr-o. Let's go back to Rickles for just one sec. I guess, go back to Rickles.

Because I want to show you something. Like you said, he would just take everybody out. By the way, him and his wife were so cute the way that you wrote about them. Yeah, Barbara. They were together for, what, 60 years? Long time. And you'd say to either, separately, you go, how are you doing? We're good.

There's always we're good or we're not good, you know. For anybody that's young listening, you have to go look up Don Rickles and go watch them with his comedy, you could probably pull your appearance with him on Howard Stern on YouTube too, I'm sure. I'm sure it's on there. I might do a, I got to ask you some advice both of you guys, but I might do a podcast about Don. They were asking me to do that. I might do that. Maybe can we do it here.

Yes, of course you can do it. Oh, it's for someone else. I think the girls might lose it, though, if John's doing those. on the mic every single week. I don't know what that would do. You might need to resurrect D.R. You know, to put some floor mats out for all the squirts. Oh, Jesus.

Fuck, Taylor. Taylor, um. We already have floor mats for you. Is he, well, he spices up the show, right? Well, he does something. How much does he make more money than her?

I pay him, I pay him with. Oh, you'll make some more. Good. Okay. Just kidding. By the way, and I talk about it in there,

my dad was so, I grew up with, you know, my mom and two sisters. And my dad was so respectful to, I mean, no means no. And I really watched the way he treated my mom and my sisters. He thought, you know, my mom was a housewife. That's what she wanted to do.

And he never held it over her head. He never said, I make the money. I don't, you know, in fact, he said that her job was harder. It is harder. Sorry to everyone. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. It's not a joke. Right.

Listen, we just had our two kids over the holidays. It's hard. And I was like, oh. In a hotel room, it's hard. Where did you guys go? It's hard. We went to San Diego and Santa Barbara. It's hard.

Do you guys live in Austin? Yeah, we live in Austin. Yeah. And you just come out and do some shows once in a while? Come out and get all the good juice. We started this out here. But Taylor is our producer. And this is your whole, dear media is your whole thing, huh?

Well, I guess it's like everybody's thing. When did you? Did you own it and you make the money? Did you, um, is that her? Taylor's thing, that's for sure. Did you, how long ago did you start this? 2018. We were in another studio and we felt like there was a, maybe a gap in the way they were doing things.

So you figure. We didn't do it around. Who runs all these businesses? that you guys have. We do. Yeah. Yeah. And you like skinny confidential?

That's yours. This is mine. And you started that with a job. You had a, what I sell people is like, TMJ or something like. This is kind of honestly. Oh, TMJ.

Yeah. No, I had my jaw broken. Oh, gosh. Yeah. It wasn't fun. How that? They just broke my entire jaw.

They had to put it back into place. Why? Oh, because you're biting something? It was crooked. It was my bite was off. Sleep was bad. Was it because of him? Yeah, it was because of him.

Right. By, The one I'd sing. That's why. So you had that and then you thought you were getting some ice thing and it wasn't good on Amazon. So then you come up with that. What makes this better than... You know what's interesting?

How do you know that? Well, there's a thing called Google. I know. No, I always like to sort of come into these things knowing about you guys. So this was that. And this is better. Oh, I know why. Because the other ones didn't stay cold long enough.

It's stayed cold longer. Look at this. It's not that. John Stavis does not need to ice roll, but he can. I've been given these before you put him in your face and stuff. I'm getting ready to do. So I just, I did a Super Bowl commercial that's coming out. I think I can talk about it.

It's called, what? That's amazing. Oh, yeah, it is. What's the commercial for? I should talk to you guys about the Zeme. And it's a free streaming service that plays like local sports and news and events from all over the country. So if you want to know what's going on in San Diego.

Cool. And eventually it's going to be, you know what, I'm not going to, I'm not going to pull it out there, but it's going to be something that you, it's going to be your home base. You want to go there and figure out where you go. But I'm going to, I just did these commercials, which you'll see. But it's a smart thing. And then I finally doing a, a beauty, men's beauty line or something. I was going to ask you, where's the hair and skin?

Yeah, well, I would, I'm, there's, it's not, the deal's not done yet, so I can't talk about. But what would you guys? So it's, it's, right now they have, it's under eyes and a mask and face, you know, it's a great price point. everything. It's out there now. Every guy wants to know, because I've done my research, how you get your jawline. Jolly? I didn't, there's nothing. How would you even get a fake jawline? You could get, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You should do a product for it to tighten your jaw. Yeah. What is that? Like, there's like a mask that can go around the jaw. Oh. No, but what about, I look at, I need a neck. What's going on with the neck? What do you do about, don't do anything

to your face. Okay. Well, this is my neck is different than the face. We want to know your skincare routine. I think that's so smart to do a skin care and hairline, for I think it's becoming popular, right, for men. It's like the next hottest category is men's skin. And there's not a lot out there. I take her stuff. No, I take her stuff. I'm not kidding.

Do you make, do you make, do you make, um, I don't make, I take the stuff she uses. Yeah, I understand. But your skin care line would fucking crush it. I think you should do the hair product. That's next. Of course you should do hair. Maybe I'll do it with you guys. I can't believe you haven't done hair and skin.

I know. Because even I'm looking at your hair and I'm getting pissed off because I'm like that. Yeah, it's good. What are you using your hair? No, because it's whatever, yeah, it's, it's, it's. You know that little tube of stuff? You need your own stuff. I usually I'll use, well, look, I'm changing up routine because I'm going to use,

I've been using this product that I'm going to endorse. Yeah. What's ones do you like, by the way? Brands. Yeah. Skin suiticles. For men? Skin suiticles.

Okay. I'll write it all down. What's it called? Dr. Dennis? No, no, I don't need anything. I have my own coming out. We're going to make you a whole list after this. And then you can look.

Michael will use your skincare products. He all day. So will Taylor. So what are other men stuff? There's not many out there, right? There's not many out there. Right. It's crazy for you.

Out of every single celebrity that I can think of, you should have your own skin and hair care. I was trying to combine the yogurt commercials I used to do and just put yogurt on your face and your hair. What's yogurt commercials you used to do? I had a little commercial years ago. It was Greek yogurt. Yes.

Well, you're Greek. What's your favorite commercial you've ever done? The one I just did for Zeme. I did some bread commercial. Oh, I did a funny one with Geico. And this woman was, I can't remember what it goes, but she was knitting or something. Oh, no.

Something about John Samo just knit you a sweater, and they cut to me on, and I'm sitting across from around, I'm knitting a sweater. I was spinning. I had, like, a knitting thing, and I played drums, so I was spinning the thing about. And Taylor Hawkins lived down the street from me. It was great, you know, the drummer from the Food Fighters. And he sent this video, I should have got that man.

You were more handsome than me, but I'm a stick spinner, and you're the, so sweet. So many people dying, I fucking hate it. Yeah, he just passed recently, right? Yeah, not long after Bob. What other men products that are out there now? You need a sheet mask. You need iPads.

I do those. You need a hair mask. You need a hair gel. The hair gel would sell out. Yeah. You need, there's so many, like, product. I feel like don't start with too many. Just start with your four core.

Is there anything that you've passed on, looking back that you regret? I don't say no to anything, really. I love these actors that come. And some of them do, but they go, here's my career trajectory. I did this, and I thought I was going to do this one. Usually it's like, okay, that's, okay, I'll take that, right? Just today, somebody calls, oh, I'll do it. I said, well, because you don't ever know what's going to really hear.

You know, like there's been projects that I've done that. I thought were going to be the biggest thing and they weren't. And then you go, like Greg Berlanti asked me to do a couple episodes of the show. You did you guys watch that on Netflix? You know, I played the, remember the Dr. Nicky on there? And the thing blew, like, I was just, you know, so you never know, right? I mean, you want to work with good people and everything, but. That's a good one, you.

I turned down the bomb by that movie I like that movie It was great and he was great in it And I thought You'd be good in that too Well I didn't feel comfortable playing a Mexican character Even back then I was like conscious of that I think And my dad was so mad because it came a hit

And there was a Zorba the Greek was a big movie That Anthony Quinn did it was a Mexican A Mexican played a Greek, a Greek could play a Mexican You know But I don't I can't think of anything that really You know you just do what to do I mean there's a lot of things that I you know

I audition for it. I'm just waiting. Now I'm just waiting for my breaking bad. That's it. I'm not stressed anymore about it. You have to tell me about your proposal to your wife. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's too cute. It's too cute. We did it at Disneyland. One very early morning I got an email or text from Bob Eager, who's, you know, who's the CEO of Disney. Who? Oh, just a little Bob, yeah. One of the greatest, greatest guy. I've known him since the full house days. He was, he was the president of ABC and I remember barging into his office going, Uncle Jeff, I need more lines.

He was like, okay, hit me up in the morning, like at five or something. I don't know why I was awake at the time. He said, your girlfriend's really into Disney, you know? That's so great. He was, I follow her on Instagram. Like, don't you have anything better to do at this time of the morning than talking about, you know?

I said, well, I'm thinking about proposing to her. Can you help me? Like, he said, yeah, what do you want to do? I said, I want to, I want to cut together a movie of all the most romantic moments in Disney animation. and I want to go to the animation building at Disney and I want to close it down for me. I'm not telling my fucking engagement story.

Yeah, I want to hear you see. And I brought her in there. It was a hot day and I said, could we, you know, they said, no, sorry, Mr. Sammas is close. I said, my wife is pregnant. I got to get her into a cool place. Okay, okay, I put her a whole act.

And we get in there and we sit down. There's nobody in there. And all of a sudden the lights went out and she just like grabs my hand. It's like, what's going on? And then all the screens around us, this movie came up of all the, you know, kiss the girl and all these really sweet romantic movies.

and moments in Disney movies and then I got down on my knee and I said, well, you marry me? And she literally held the ring and before she said yes, she was sweet. You know, there's a right. She said yes and it was really sweet.

And then I had all our, my sisters and her family waiting for us at this club up there called the 21 Royal. Did she watch you? No. No. She didn't watch any of it.

Every boyfriend that is now listening is a girlfriend that's listening is screwed. What do you got? What did you do? No, no. We're not going to what I did name. No, yours was sweet. It didn't involve calling Bob Iger

and shutting Disneyland down. His proposal, his proposal was cute and sweet. It wasn't Disneyland. No, it was in one bedroom apartment and just the two of us. That's okay. It was sweet.

It was very sweet. I met, so, and our first date was to Disney World. So I was doing an episode of SVU Law and Order. So I was doing this guest, but I was playing this character. Do you guys ever watch that show,

SVU, Law and Order. Yeah, sure. I played this character. And my agent covers, they wrote this great character for you. It's really good. I said, what is it? You have sex with all these women

and you have 47 children and you have, you know, I'm like, why do they think of me for that? He was like a guy who, he was so egotistical. He wanted to spread his progeny all over the place. So he was tricking girls into getting pregnant and poking holes and condoms and stuff.

Did you see that one? You look like you've seen it. Or you've done it. Maybe it's a true. It's a true. It's a true. Yeah, I'm playing you. And Caitlin was one of the girls.

And I saw, And I was like, oh my God, I'm bad mad. You know, I'm in love with this girl. And I was so afraid to talk to her. And I finally kind of sort of talked to her at lunch. She was only there one day. And then I walked into the makeup room. I was like, okay, I'm going to go up and I'm going to ask her out.

I walk up. And she's like, and then we're getting married right over here. We're at Chelsea Pier. Right over that Chelsea. By like, you're getting married? She goes, yeah, I go, don't. And like, what an asshole I am, you know. And she goes, oh, okay.

But we started talking about like, theater and Disney and stuff like that. So she thought I was gay, which, you know, whatever. So we started texting. Oh, no, I pulled a great movie. Let's take a picture together. I took a picture. I go, you want me to send it to you?

Yeah, what's the number? And so we started texting for a while. She was engaged. John Stamos. John Stamos got the moves, you know. She was, well, here's the deal. So the guy, the character had like, they finally rounded up all the women and all the kids

and they all came into the precinct thing. And they're like, there's, you've followed, 47 children. And he said, well, you haven't checked Europe. With Caitlin, I was in, I was in the bathroom, like, poking a hole in a con my reading glasses like a dope. And I'm like this. And I'm on the show, the character. And then, you know, iced tea and what's his name?

Bang on the door. And he's in there. Kicked the door down. Come with me. And so, I eventually got a pregnant. She. Not in real life. In the show.

In real life, I did seven. No, no. Well, it took me seven years. She was engaged. They got married. And then. They actually went through. Yeah.

I said it was, we texted a little bit and it was wrong, you know. I mean, it wasn't anything, you know, disrespectful. It was just like, you know, I'm getting married, okay, you know, good luck. And then seven years later, I walk into the set of Fuller House. You know, I walked on the stage and I saw her in the stands. I'm like, no way. She was with a guy. And I said, I thought, oh, I must be stalked. Just don't flatter yourself. You know, my friend is on the show this weekend. I came to see her. Oh, okay. This must be your husband. She goes, no, I got divorced. This is a new boyfriend. I'm like, I have. I, I have. I, my friend. I, I, I have. I could deal with a boyfriend.

And then I started talking on Instagram. It was like, you know, like Willie Wonka, like he was trying to get that golden ticket and he kept going. And there's pictures of the boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. And then one day there was pictures with no boyfriend. And I was like, she kind of scrubbed him. I'm like, okay.

And we started talking and she said, I want to travel. I said, all right, let's go to Disney World. She loved Disney. We did Disney World. Now I'm walking around Epcot, and I have a hat and glasses and nobody's recognizing me. I'm like, what's the fuck?

I'm trying, okay. I'm going to take my glasses off. I'm trying to look at, you know, eye contact with her. Still nothing. And my hair, I got famous hair. I got to take off my hat.

Took the hat off and, you know, can I have mercy? And she goes, what are you doing? I got nothing? She goes, you're Epcotting. Stop it. It's like peacocking, but Epcot because we were in Epcotts.

So she calls it Epcotting. She was, that's not impressive, man. And that's when I knew, like, that she's the one. I mean, she called me out of my shit so fucking fast. You guys all love women that call you out on your shit. That's the, see, I want you to come on my TikTok.

I asked Ariel and give three tips for women. The way to get the guy is to just not take their shit and to call him out on their shit. Yeah. And you, I mean, you've had a lot of girls throw themselves at you, I'm sure. The one that you marry is the one that won't take your shit. That's how this happened. Oh, it works. She never, she never watched full house.

Yeah. How it works. And she didn't watch Full House if she was underwhelmed. She didn't give a shit She still doesn't Give a fuck about She like I'll do the weird She liked you

She said That's the best thing Not you But I mean the TV show Sorry She likes you too That was cruel I didn't mean that as a joke

Honestly Look at how success For you guys Are vibrators And things When did you Like you I thought you meant me

Did you start this It started Dear Media first And then she started With the products It's been like A little bit Like an

Egg or chicken It's been like a No he doesn't get to changed the interview on us. I want to have, well, I want to know how it's been to have your son. Oh my God. It's the greatest. Isn't it good? Yeah. Yeah. You were talking about Don earlier. You said he just laid out everybody and he did. And here he is at my 50th birthday party. Oh my God. And I just thought, Intel. I said this is going to be like he's just like everybody was ripping up. Jeff Ross was there and all these people. Everybody spoke. You know, Bob hosted it,

which was great. And and here's Don. And I thought he was just going to kill me. My birthday. He should. Okay. What was it I'm going to show you. The Rickles video. I bet it was something sweet. It was, yeah. Well. Burt was just talking about how his success, when he took so long to hit on this podcast, he was talking about how it takes so long and you've put so many reps in.

It took him 20 years. And you have to be so militant and so disciplined. And he finally, he doesn't even feel still that he's made it. Yeah. He's so successful. What do you tell people that, I mean, the trick is to rise above the fray, right, with these podcasts? I mean, Lauren and I have been doing the show now for eight years, but if you think about... Yeah.

Wow. But if you think about, like, her, it's 2010. Long time. I mean, it took us three years to make money. Yeah. On the show. Yeah, I mean, everything takes time. Where's the money come from here?

The sponsors and... Yeah, I mean, just there's that and then I think the products and, you know, we invest in businesses and produce other people. But I mean, like... How do you find a business that you want to invest in? Like, my skincare thing? I want to invest in skincare. I say, I say, I say,

I say, listen, I'll accept nothing less for a men's skincare brand except John Stamos' face on the front. I can't believe you don't even, like, I feel like that would. Do you have skincare stuff that you sell? I have skincare stuff, but it's up. What do you use? I use skin suiticles. I use colostrum. I just got a salmon semen facial.

It's not salmon semen. Yes, it is. It's like DNA. I got salmon semen semen on my face. It really works. So his name was salmon? You should make a, John Stamos is salmon semen. Salmon, Janet.

Salmon, salmon. John Salmon Seaman. Okay. Should we go to Rickles? John Seaman. This is the headline of the show. You should take it down on Rickles, by the way, Taylor, if you don't want to have orgasm so fast.

You think? That would stop it. Here, let's see. If you want to see. You know what? I wish that he was around to meet Billy because he would, they wouldn't. And I wish Bob was, Billy has a very,

he's a very funny kid already. Very charming, too charming. You know, I don't know. commonball of it, like we said. That doesn't surprise me. Yeah. And you're four-year-old's a girl? Maybe we should enter. Yeah, maybe we should introduce.

Our daughter's name Zaza. Zaza? Zaza. Zaza. How you spell it? Zaza. Zaza. That's cute.

How did you get that? She was super into Zaja Gabor. Oh, no. Yeah. You were? I'm telling you. I love. You like all the old.

I love it. I like, how you are with Don Rickles. I'm like that with Old Hollywood. Really? Like who else? Who does it? Joshua Gabor? Marilyn Monroe.

Who did, was I reading about the other day? Oh, Robert Evans, I just read his book. Yeah, I knew him. He was the good. Oh, my God, I love that. It was the best. Did you listen to his, he has a, you know, book on tape called The Kid Stays. It was a movie.

I read it. I love her. And I'm telling him. That's why you did such a good job. Did you see that new show? All the time and yours is really good. Did you listen to the audio? I read it.

Oh, what I'm saying? Do you listen to the audio? No, does he say the audio? Did you do the audio? Yes. Oh, I didn't listen. I was going to get Britney Spears to do it, but she didn't. He was great.

I spent, I just loved those old guys, you know, and I paid it. Like, but Dawn, when I first met him, like, I just paid attention to him. Yeah. And Bob was, you know, he was, you know, sitting around with Brad Gray and these guys, and I spent time with him. I would go to his office over there in Paramount. One time we were at dinner, I used to have a pubic hair collection. Like, really? Yeah, like little Coke bags filled with pubic hairs on a, you know, a court board.

My third or fourth wife made me get rid of him. Girls don't have pubic hair now, John. Okay, thanks, Bob. We're eating. We're having dinner. I think John knows that. I think John knew that. He was great. You know what? One of the smartest things I've ever heard,

Bob Evans said that he built his tennis court at his house. Because, and he built it the most magnificent, most expensive possible way he could with the most professional everything. And he said it was something that money couldn't buy. And so what happened is everyone congregated towards his tennis court and would play. and he would be able to use the tennis court as a way to network. And he said, he said, it's not that he had a ton of money.

It's that he had this tennis court that every single person in Hollywood wanted to play at. The show they just did on the Godfather. Yeah, that guy was great. That was good, right? Yeah. He lost that house.

It was a really cool house. I went there. And then Jack Nicholson, I think, bought it back for him. Oh, good. And he lived in that house and that tennis car was there. Who else? Oh, I hosted Bob's Roast for Comedy Central.

It was the last great roast, I think, because it was all his friends. You did watch it? I didn't watch it. Cloris Leitzman was on there. You would love her. Oh my God, I got to watch it. She showed up, like it was, I think we did it in August, and I invited her my birthday at my house. And she saw it about midnight, like, wet.

She's just got a shower. It comes, hey, Stamos, but she's like sitting next to my mom. I'm blowing out candles. She's like, this is the camera flipping on the camera. But she had a great joke on there. She said, I'm not here to roast Bob Saget. I'm here to fuck John Stamos. That's funny.

I remember that. You probably like her. I love it. I need to watch that. It was pretty good. You know who my other celebrity crush was when I was little? Who? Besides you? James Gandalfini.

Really? It's a different, right? A little bit. Yeah. A little bit, my wife, like the guy she had the biggest crush on, and this is why I don't really worry about it, is it was Ted Danson. That was her like, and I introduced you to her one time. Ted Danson.

Yeah. You know, from Cheers. Of course. Ted Danson. He's great on Curb, too. Yeah, he is good on Curb. John Stamos, you're a legend. You can come back anytime you want.

I'm going to look into your eyes all day. You too. I mean, anytime you want. I hope next time you come on, you have a skincare routine that Michael can. I want you guys to help me do it. I mean,

and I think you should do the Rickles podcast. Yeah? Because I bet it would be awesome. I'm really impressed with the two of you. I think it's beautiful to watch the way you are to each other. The respect you show for each other. I heard on the show. And you guys are like hardworking good people from what I gather.

Right? I mean it. I appreciate that. And I just, I'm very grateful that you guys have me on here. We're very grateful that you came on. We're grateful you came in. Can I come back?

You can come back literally anytime you can. I thought you're taking over as the co-host. I thought you're going to sign to me. I'm not surprised Stern had you on so much. I thought we could just talk and talk and talk. It's a lot of talking. I feel bad because as I listen to some of the shows, I really learned a lot.

I don't know what anybody learned from this today, but just be yourself and be a good person, right? You guys, go buy his book. It's so good. I know you'll all like it so much. At John Stamos on Instagram. When I saw that you were following me today, I screenchotted it and sent it to my husband and thought,

if you would have told me. I followed him too. Yeah, then I screenshot at the back. Yeah, I said, fuck it. Who are you? Where's my follow? No, no, no, no. No, you don't need to see.

No, no, no, no. I don't want to. Taylor edges. No, no, yeah, Taylor. Unless you want to just see close-up shots of razor burn. No. No. Thank you.

The bare naked cucumber on Instagram. Don Stamos. Come back anytime. Before you guys go, you should know that Michael and I have launched a him and her newsletter. It is all of our favorite products, thought leaders, quotes, things that we're thinking about. All in one, you get it weekly. All you have to do is go to TSCpodcast.com to sign up, and we will send you all the hacks, tips, and tricks straight to your inbox.