The Bossticks - Jonathan Van Ness On The State Of The World & How To Build A Career As Your Authentic Yourself

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

#498: On today's episode we are joined by Jonathan Van Ness. Jonathan aka JVN is an american hairstylist, tevelision personality, podcast host, and entrepreneur. Today JVN joins the show to discuss how to build a career as your authentic self and the current state of the world.  To connect with JVN click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential. This episode is brought to you by Wealthfront Wealthfront is a financial services company that makes building long-term wealth delightfully easy. Open an account today at www.wealthfront.com/skinny to get a $50 bonus when you invest $500 or more. This episode is brought to you by Athletic Greens You take one scoop of Athletic Greens and you're absorbing 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, whole food supported superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help start your day right. This is the best option for easy, optimal nutrition out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/SKINNY and get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D + 5 travel packs with your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by ClickUp ClickUp is the one tool to house all your tasks, projects, docs, goals, spreadsheets, and more. Whether you're in Project Management, Engineering, Sales, Marketing or HR, ClickUp has easy to use solutions that create a more efficient work environment. Go to www.clickup.com and use code SKINNY at checkout for 15% a one year unlimited plan. This episode is brought to you by Gravity Crave better sleep? Ready for an all-around wellness upgrade? Then you need a Gravity weighted blanket. Visit GravityBlankets.com/Skinny, use code SKINNY for 15% off any Gravity product. This episode is brought to you by Everlywell The Everlywell Women's Health Test measures eleven biomarkers known to play a role in your overall health and wellness, and checks for any abnormal levels that may be keeping you from feeling your best. Go to Everlywell.com/skinny to get 20% off an at home test. Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a dear media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

A little bit luck. It's a little bit hard work. It's a little bit of everything. But I just don't do anything that makes me go up. And that's been something that's been the case for a very long time. But even before that was like the 100% case, it was just so frustrating because like I would get a really long time and then have a relapse. Like meth is really difficult and it's very addicting. And I would get like six months or like 10 months or like a year and then have a relapse. And it would just be this like phone crushing, like devastating experience.

Welcome back everybody. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show. That clip was from our guest of the show Jonathan Ban Ness, also known as JV. And today we got a great show for you. Who is Jonathan Van Ness? Many of you guys, I mean, he needs no introduction. But for those that are unfamiliar, JVN is an American hairstylist podcast host and television personality. He is best known as the grooming expert on Netflix series Queer Eye for his work on the web series parody, Gay of Thrones, and for hosting getting curious with Jonathan Van Ness podcast.

And like I said, Lorne and I had a ton of fun talking with him, shooting the shit, just covering a lot of ground as usual. So with that guys, this is a long episode. I'm going to keep it short and simple. Welcome, JVN to the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. But can we talk about the brow, the makeup, the slick back hair? No, you look amazing. Hold on, first of all, I have not washed my hair.

Are you guys ready for this? Late on us. Two weeks. Good for you. Are we getting a little bit of itchies? There's so much fucking going on. Yeah, I get a little wrette's ease. And also, like, everyone's like, oh, how did you get that bun?

You use the grease. Yeah, I love that. The C-Bum. Now, let's talk about this. pre-washed scalp oil by JVN here. Okay. Can I even just tell you how good, how much you're going to love this? Go for it.

So you just like put it all over your scalp before you wash. Okay. So it's a pre-washed scalp oil, right? Okay. So now there's turmeric in this and that's going to help to kind of like decongest and clarify your hair follicles on a kind of having all that like sebum and dry shampoo and like probably product in there from slicking it back. So that's fierce.

Then there's also Bezambolol, which is an extract of chamomile, which is powerfully anti-breakage. So it'll help make your hair like much, like more resistant to breakage instantly. So it's like instantly make sure you're stronger and it's really good for your scalp. Very calming, clarifying for the scalp. You'll just really like it. Okay. So I put a few drops on this disgusting

situation and then wash my hair. Yeah, I like to do more than a few drops. Like I fill up this like whole thing, you know, like pretty full. Like you know, like you know, fill. You do have good hair. I would trust your hair, Rex. Yeah, all over your part. Just put it all over your part like in sections, you know, and then you just like massage it, put up on top of your head, let it sit for 15 minutes, and then you wash it out.

Yeah, have you ever done a hair mask like that? I feel like you should. No, you know what? I've just all taken my hat off. Oh, he's going to show his hair off. He wants to show you his hair. So pretty. Well, here's the thing. No, I've been getting grayes later. You see in the front. I love that. A lot of grays too. But what it just started happening like a lot. That's okay. That happens. That's hot. That's hot and pepper. And we love that. Yeah. You have a couple of grays on your pubs too.

No, no, no. That hasn't happened. You keep saying that. Yes, it has a much closer view. Personal bitch. I can see what great job. Listen, we just met him and if I have to do that, if I'd pull those out too. Show it out. Okay. But here's the thing.

I was getting my hair cut. Oh yeah, you really can see him. Yeah, I was getting my hair cut the other day. Not your pubs. Just the, just the guys don't. My pubes are on the table right now for those that are listening. Can you imagine? Hold on.

I love how we have Jonathan on the podcast and you take your hat off to show him your hair. Yeah, of course. Don't judge. That hair looks gorgeous. It was a gorgeous reveal. You think I'm not going to show my hair to him? I know what I'm saying. surprising. No, I was, no, it was like, I was obsessed

with the reveal, because there was, like, a full shakeout. Like, I felt like it was, like, fully, you were giving me, like, herbal essence. I don't have a lot of strengths. I got to, I got to capitalize. It was, like, giving me, like, sis hat man on Beyonce at a concert. You know what I'm saying? Like, the wind machine was about to turn on, like, heaven couldn't wait for, you know what I'm saying.

And, like, the wind was about, it's, like, so pretty. But you don't do, you should just, just leave the grays. Because I was getting my hair cut, and the guy that cuts my hair was like, hey, man, just want to let you know, like, all of a sudden, Yeah, that's okay. I feel like it's, the thing is, I think it's, I'm going to embrace it. I'm not going to cover mine. I feel like it's just like maintenance that I don't have time for. And I also feel like especially for people who have like brown hair because like what makes up brown hair and the color wheel is red. Right. So when you like try to like cover it, I just like it always goes a little bit red or it goes like a little like car salesman like inky jet black.

And it's, and so I would just so much rather some or it needs to be like a semi permanent color that's more just like blend. So you can still see the gray. But then it's like that's what you have anyway because you have two. So just rock what you have. Yeah, but then him and my best friend who has a huge head of hair too, he told me that they don't want the kind of gray. Don't put your hat back on.

Yeah, I know. In fact, you know what you should fucking do as long as we're at it? Shake it. Put some of this air dry cream in it. Okay. You will love this air dry cream.

It's going to be so nice on your hair. Okay. Put like a grape amount in there. What is this going to do for me? It's just a gorgeous air dry cream. There's chia seed and linseed extract in there. So that's going to increase your whole. It's gonna like it's gonna accentuate your natural texture

So yep so you can even do a little more but we can layer it because it's buildable So rub it up now start in the back start in the back yeah now work your way forward Yes yes yes Look at the shine look at the direction it's gorgeous now put in a little bit more Okay in the front in the front yeah start you could do like the sides in the back in the front Like I was like to go in the front last but that's I like how you did it first that's really cute Well that's why I just only do my hair like that you but you have such thick hair that if you don't Don't get like underneath it and behind it.

Like it won't, it's just, you got to get it everywhere. Because your head's like 3D, you know what I'm saying? Do you want to pull your dick out right now? This is like you're getting so. Now toss it to the side. I know. Toss it to the side. Yeah, there you go.

Oh my God. No, it's, you stop helmeting it. Okay. Toss it to the side. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Good job.

That's really good. Yeah, that's really good. That's good. That's good. I want to get your hair down, but you said that it wasn't washed for two weeks. So if it was a little less, like we should. But I really want to do your hair someday because you're here.

Because you would have had such a hair of yield. That hair is everything and I can see. I have gray in my hair right now. It's gorgeous. No, I need to dye it. No, no, no, no, no. We dye Easter eggs. We color our hair.

Okay, we color our hair. But like, this is what it should look like right now. Like this is. Don't should yourself. Do you know that when you say should, it's a form of shaming. Okay, I'm shaming myself. You're literally like so stunned. That's the blonde that it should be.

My God, so pretty. That's before pregnancy. Your brow game is like just always here to say I am the best. Double tint. Double tint. That's what you do it? You should make a double tint for brows. That's your next product.

It's framing your face so well. It's so pretty. I love how you just zoomed in on my Instagram. On your brows. I just had to let you. Your brows are just so like, chef's kiss. Thank you. Thank you.

We'll take my brows with your hair, Michael. There's a lot of guys. Oh my God. I hope that happened. I bet it might. I bet it might. We'll see. We'll see.

That baby's going to have such good fucking hair and brows. I know. The heartburn. I feel it every single day. Okay. I want to tell the audience your whole story. You have a very interesting story. I read your book. I mean... Which one? Both? The last one. Over the top or love that story? The last one. Love that story. Yeah. Okay. Wait, the autobiography.

Well, they're both like a little bit memoirish, but the one that... One's a collection of essay and the other one is over the top, which is my first book and that's my memoir. Over the top. That's the one I read. Yes. I have to read the other one. Yeah, that one just came out. Love that story. It just came out. Oh, okay, no, no, no, no. I read the one that was out a while ago. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's over the top. Like two years ago.

Yeah, that's over the top. Okay. Yeah. Over the top is such a fucking perfect name. Okay. So you had a really interesting childhood. You've had an interesting life before queer eye. Talk to us about how you grew up, what it was like for you.

Did you have this amazing hair? Was your hair to your shoulders? Like, give us the whole thing. No, I always had short hair. Hated it. Always wanted this, like, stunning long hair, but never could grow it out. because of like the hideous beauty expectations that were thrust upon me by this gender binary and growing up in like a rural Midwestern town. So no, always short curly hair. You felt like you couldn't

grow your hair because of... It's not that a feeling I had to. I had to get my haircut. Like, you know, because boys go to like the mall and you get your haircut like once a month. So like, and even when Hansen came out and all I wanted to do was like be all of their like baby boyfriend. I was just like, oh my God, I love Hansen so much, especially Isaac. I was one of like the rebels. I loved Isaac. He was the oldest handsome brother. I don't know if you guys remember that. But anyway, I couldn't grow my hair long. It just like wasn't an option. Because of your parents or? Yeah, like my, but I mean, yeah, I was like, mom, dad. Yeah, couldn't grow, couldn't go the hair long. So what is it like when you're having to edit who you are? Well, as a child, you don't realize that like you don't call it having to edit who you are. But I was having to edit who I was from a really early age. I mean, I talk about and over the top, like wanting to play. dress up and like wearing those gorgeous little evening gowns with my cousins and then like being found out by my dad and being like, you know, ripped out of the evening gowns like no evening gowns. No, you know, like it was just as I got older, I was allowed to explore it a little bit more. My mom was like, my mom got more supportive faster than my dad did.

I saw everywhere in society that like I wasn't meant to be this feminine person. I saw that from boys at school. I saw that from family members. I saw it from TV. So it was a constant reminder that, like, I wasn't who I felt like I wasn't meant, I wasn't who I was meant to be. But at the same time, I was like, I'm so much fun. And I love figure skating and like geodes and like gymnastics. And, you know, I just want to learn how to make like apple muffins.

So, you know, and also like I want to like be in the garden. So like I've always kind of been like this. And it was always kind of like, I think what I was really naturally blessed with and also had a mom who for whatever her shortcomings were like also really did instill this like sense of like. confidence and like fun. And so even if she kind of, as I got older, was like, I'm not sure about this. And in fact, I think I tell the story and over the top of like the interpretive dance that I did in my sixth grade talent show. And my mom's like, are you sure you want to do this?

Because like if you do this, like, you're always going to be known as like the boy who did the interpretive dance at the talent show. Like, are you sure you want to do it? And I was like, not only am I ready, honey, I'm like going to crush one of these little girls' dreams, honey, because I'm going to take that spot. the interpretive dance. To this stunning song by Jewel from the hands album. If you actually look at this interview that I did with Kimmel, someone, he like found the tape.

And then I'm like my first interview with like Jimmy Kimmel solo, like without the boys from queer eye. They like, he was like, so you know how long have you been figure skating? Because I'd just gotten into figure skating. And I was always posting about it. And I was like, yeah, just like a month. And he was like, no, you've been figure skating for like 20 years. And I instantly like intrinsically just like knew. I was like, they got the tape.

I always do someone who's going to find the tape. And they got the tape. So I'm doing this like sock figure skating routine to Jewel. And it was like on Kimmel and it was just insane. It was amazing. So when you do that dance is your community open, at least is your school nice? Yeah. I mean, no one like booed.

I think people were more of just like what the fuck. I mean, I made this like T-shirt dress that had like glitter glue that had this like question mark on the front and this question mark on the back. It was very like, it was very heady. I think people were just like in awe. They couldn't believe. So after you do the dance, what point do you feel like, fuck what everyone else thinks? Fuck what my parents think.

I'm going to do exactly what I want. I did the interpretive dance. I'm going to just be me fully. Yeah, I feel like it was never an option. It was never an option, like, to not be me fully because like I just like look at me. You know, I just like, I only know how to be this way. And then I kind of talk about and love that story, this relationship between like, because there's so much internalized transphobia and homophobia in the queer community, it was like,

Once I realized that I wanted to like get laid and that like if I kept being really femme presenting that like a lot of gaymen were going to be like, uh, I don't. So then I was like I tried to do my best of like a butch bro gay. What's meaning because if you presented that way that at the time at least. There's just a lot of transphobia and like internalized homophobia in the gay male community. So if you are more femme presenting, it's like it's very hideous. So it's called like you know like mask for mask like or a mask for mask, you know, like masculine for masculine. And there's a lot of like, a lot of, like, femme shaming in the gay community. Other men in the gay community sometimes perceive people presenting femme as not the way you're supposed to present as a gay man.

Is that I'm going to, maybe am I saying that correctly? Yeah. And so, and so when people present that way, they say that you're not gaying right in a way. Is that correct? Is that right? It's just so funny watching a straight man, like wrap his head around. I'm sorry. But I'm just trying to.

It's like politically just say like. No, no, but that's what I'm asking is. It's like they're passing saying like you're wearing like a. a crop top and a heel and you're like, yes, honey, they're like that type of gay. It's like, yeah, it's like, it's like, don't act too gay. Don't act too flamboyant or femme. You know, like, we like men who act like men. Like if I wanted a woman, I would get a woman, you know, that sort of like misogyny.

Okay. And the gay community. So that's like really prevalent. So then like I did like my college best at being like, you know, more masculine gay, which is like lull. And then it's like this battle between like, I think once I and I talk about this and love that story a lot. But it's like once I became such a gigantic slut that like the number of people who I'd

been with had like a comma and the number. I was like fuck these guys. Like I'm going to do me. Like I want to like I'm not dressing for men anymore. I'm not acting in a way that's like acceptable to like these fucking guys. I want to be me and I want to love who I am. And so that was like a really interesting journey in learning to love myself. So after middle school, you go to high school.

And are you still in you're embracing yourself? You're not on TV yet. Like talk to us about the chunk before you're not on TV. Yes, I was like a cheerleader in high school. I like was obsessed with cheerleading. It was a really hard time. It was like a really difficult time. But I also had fun.

And why was it a difficult time? Just because I was a very queer person growing up in like a, you know, a town of like 40,000 people, you know, like a rural city on like the Mississippi River and like central Illinois. So do you think if you grew up in like, let's say West Hollywood or L.A. or something and it was now. Do you think it would have been a totally different experience? It would have been a totally different experience then. But what about now in 2022? Are you like happy with where we're headed?

I'm not as worried about like kids in like urban spaces. It's like generally more accepting. Not that homophobia doesn't happen in schools and urban spaces because it very much does. But no, I'm not that happy with where we're headed. I think that we're taught as a queer community to like settle for the crumbs that are given to us. And no, I'm not happy. We've had like increased rates of violence against queer people like every year since 2016.

There's been more anti-trans legislation passed and debated. And the last, like it's been raising every single year. But 2021, it's like, could it get worse? And then 2022, we've, they've already passed more this year in April than they did in all of last year. And last year was record breaking. So no. And I think that there's also too much of this like, no offense to you.

And just by just as someone who is a queer public figure, I get asked. this question a lot of like, well, aren't you happy? It's like better. Like there's too much of this rush to be like, well, look how much better it's getting when in reality, like, there's really no correlation between representation and then improve quality of queer people's lives. You know, there's no correlation between like representation and legislation, like, for example. Because right now it's like we have, or maybe there is, maybe the correlation is that as we get increased representation, we keep pissing these people off in conservative spaces. So they are increasing legislation to like, that directly harms our community.

It's almost like the louder one side gets the louder the other side gets in response. It's like this pendulum that like, you know, we see swinging. So, and I think also with representation, like, there is just still, I mean, there is an increased queer representation in Hollywood and in movies and TV. But it is still, if you look at the amount of queer people and that make up the public and then the amount of like queer representation that you see on TV, it still isn't, you know, where it is, like in reality. I don't know enough about it because like I'm obviously not in your shoes. That's why I wanted to know what what you think. It's treated as like a fringe group when it's not a fringe group. I also think that social media while it maybe it does make some things better, it also at the same time like you're saying it's a pendulum, it can make it worse. Yeah. And it's just, well, I think that like social media is very devoid of context. Like it's all about like, you know, like sound bites and like little bits and like and like, like, you know, what can you get? in 15 seconds, 30 seconds or a minute.

And unfortunately, a lot of these conversations, like, you're not going to get the full picture of what's happening in, you know, 15, 30 seconds or 60, you know? So I think that, and also, like, the algorithms that run social media are like, it all comes down to money because it's like however much, you know, followers and however much engagement, it's like, I think really learning or being like kind, if that doesn't lead to engagement, it's not. So I just think that we're like chasing a lot of things that like don't necessarily make people like more kind or more well rounded or more like into equity. Yeah. And it's like the death of nuance as well. Right. It's like someone will take this conversation. It's going to be a long conversation, 45 minutes, hour, maybe a little longer. They'll pull what, five, six minutes of whatever the most sensational clips are probably me stumbling around like terms and saying the wrong thing. Right. They won't pull all of the other stuff. And I think that's a problem because you have a lot of very young and also,

old impressionable people that are getting their information out from those bites and not the full context. But it's the job of the person to go out and find the whole context. Sure. But it's not this people. I think people need to take accountability themselves to go actually do their own research and be their own guru. Sure.

But most people are lazy and they're not going to do that. Right. They're going to just pull the most sensational sound clips and that's going to be their point of view on life. When you decide to move out of Mississippi, why? As Illinois, but it was just like on the Mississippi River. But yes. Oh my God.

Geography isn't my strong suit either. No, so I, no, so I like ran like hell out of there as fast as I could. I was like, I graduated early from high school, went to the University of Arizona, Tucson. What? Bear down, brother. Wildcat. Yeah, I was too. When were you there?

2004 and five. So was I. Well, no, I was there, I got there 2005. Yeah, I was there like four or five. I dropped out by Christmas. Then I became, um, it was a wild place. It was wild, honey. And over the top, you know, I got real wild there in Tucson.

So then I went to Harris School, which is like always what I really wanted to do. And I moved to Minneapolis. I go to Harris School at the E. Bata Institute. Then I moved back to Arizona, Phoenix that time. And then I end up going to L.A. I get my first job as an assistant. Work in L.A. for like three years. Is this like celebrities?

Is this like, what kind of L.A. is this? It's like I'm an assistant in a very prestigious salon. Lots of celebrities. Lots of learning. I, because then part of why I moved to LA was because, like, I just couldn't, like, grow as a hair stylist. Like, I was, like, kind of teaching myself doing a lot of classes, but it was, like, the era of, like, Kelly Clark's and Chunky highlight. And I really wanted to learn how to balliage. I really wanted to learn how to create looks that, like, I just couldn't figure out how, like, it was Victoria's Secret was very, like, the thing at the time.

And I, like, was looking at, like, Alessandra Ambrosio. And I was looking at, like, those models. I mean, like, how do they get their color like this? Like, I can't, everything I do looks like fucking people. piano keys. Like, I couldn't figure out how to do like blended hair color. So I moved to L.A. I become an assistant. I learned so much. Then my stepdad gets diagnosed with cancer. He ends up passing away. I moved to St. Louis to be closer to them. All hell breaks loose at like 25. That's when I get diagnosed with HIV. Then I end up moving back to California. Wait, hold on.

We can't just skip over that. You're 25 years old and you find out that you're diagnosed with HIV. And this, what year is this? 2012. Which is it's, we've exponentially. learned more about it since then. So at 2012, were you indifferent? Were you freaking out? Were you? What was your energy? Yeah. I mean, it was like devastating. I was dealing with meth addiction and I was, you know, just lost my stepdad. And it was just a culmination of like years of like, just years of struggled and a lot of like unprocessed trauma. So yeah, I mean, once, but once I found out that I had it, it was like, it was kind of the impetus of what started me to like really focus on recovery and really like get into recovery more.

I'd already like kind of started to scratch the surface, but that kind of caused me to like really focus on getting it together. When you heard that you were HIV positive, did you automatically stop doing drugs or was it slow? It was like it was back and forth for a little bit. And I still smoke weed, but like I have very luckily and well, it's actually not luckily. It's like, well, it's a little bit luck. It's a little bit hard work.

It's a little bit of everything. But I just don't do anything that makes me go up. And that's been something that's been the case for a very long time. But even before that was like the 100% case, it was just so frustrating because like I would get a really long time and then have a relapse. Like I could go like so as to say that like I and it doesn't really matter like what kind of meth addict you are like. And meth was the drug of choice. Wasn't alcohol or anything? No.

I mean alcohol is like it didn't help. It was meth was the one that was like this is going to kill you. It was, you know, but meth is really difficult and it's very addicting. and I would get like six months or like 10 months or like a year and then have a relapse and it would just be this like bone crushing like devastating experience. Do you remember your first experience? Was there like a catalyst that and were you engaging in other substances before and then just kind of just like wrong place, wrong time?

Like there was just my stepdad was dying. I was like in a relationship that was like just kind of doomed. It was my first love and like I was just like devastated. And then it was kind of like wrong place, wrong time. I was like, I'll try it. And then it was like, if there's one thing that has resonant, with this audience, it is the conversation around financial freedom, how to invest your money, how to savor the future, how to set yourself up so that your money is working for you,

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What do you do when you're diagnosed with HIV? Do you have to call your old partner? Do you have like, what is for someone that has no context of how that feels, I can only imagine. That's a like that's a lot for a 25 year old to handle. Yeah, it's a lot for anyone to handle. No, I mean, it depends on what state you're in. So like every state has its own thing. Missouri is like particularly cruel and overwhelming. You basically like sign a piece of paper that says that like if you ever don't disclose to anyone now knowing that you have it like you would be considered. or like a bioterrorist and then it's a felony. And it's like, so they really like scare the shit out of you. But what became a bigger issue and what was more scary. And I mean, I disclosed my partners, but it's like a lot of times if you are, you know, participating in drug use and you're in that kind of culture, you're like not knowing who your partners are. You're meeting them at like, you know, crazy spaces.

You're like not knowing who the fuck these people are. Like, and that was certainly the case for me. But with the bigger issue was, and I write about this extensively and over the top, and then I do another essay about that and love that story about the HIV safety net, which is like, you know, once you find out, you have it. Like, that's if you're living in poverty, it's like, how do you access your medication? If you don't have health insurance, HIV medication is like, it can be like, you know, $1,000, $2,000, $3,000 a month.

It's like crazy. And if you're dealing with homelessness, if you're living in poverty, and it's like, and it's really frustrating because if with access to antiretroviral medication, which is like what you take is someone who's positive, once you achieve and maintain an undetectable viral load, which means that, like, once, like, when they test you, like, there's not, like, there's not enough, like, viral load to test positive. Like, it's an undetectable viral load. You're not contagious, or you're not, you can't transmit the virus sexually. So it's like, when you're undetectable, you're not transmittable. So, and not only that, when you achieve

and maintain an undetectable viral load, you can live, like, life expectancy from time of diagnosis is 50 to 75 years. You can live a full life. So even if you're born with HIV, it's like, It's not even considered, like, it's not considered a terminal illness. It's considered a chronic illness. And now we have like prep, which actually prep was like authorized, like two months after I got HIV, which was like, uh, timing. But like prep is like a pill. It's like, it's a birth control.

You take this pill once a day and you could like have unprotected sex with like 50 million people, all of whom have HIV. And it's like it's as effective as condom. It's actually like, it's like 99.9% effective. So every once in a while, you'll read in the news that there's like a breakthrough case from prep like where someone was adherent to their. prep and then they still got it because there are like, but I mean, like literally that happens like all the people on prep, which is like millions and millions and millions and millions and millions

of people, there's like a handful of breakthrough cases a year. So it's like prep is like changed the game. Like I have this one client whose hair I did for years who is a nurse practitioner at a clinic in West Hollywood. And before prep, they average 30 to 50 new HIV infections a month. After prep, it was three to five. Wow. So it reduced new HIV infections by like over 90%. So prep was a game changer. The HIV safety net differs majorly depending on where you live. So if you're in Missouri, it's really different than if you're in California.

And that's really different than if you're in Alaska. And that's really different than if you're in Florida or Texas or wherever you are. So it's like massively different systems to navigate. And all of those systems require like access to the internet, a car. Because if you're in like, if you're living in like rural Texas and your next closest place is like San Antonio or Austin, but you live like an hour away from there and you don't have a car. How are you going to the doctor? How are you getting your every three month checkup?

How are you getting your pills? And then people will say, well, like, because I mean, I've talked about this very publicly and I talk about it on Instagram a lot. I talk about it a lot. And people will say like, oh, you know, that's not my problem. Like, I didn't go get HIV. Like, I don't people are like, that is like the sort of like carelessness that we're talking about.

But it's like this last year was the first year that new HIV infections were greater in heterosexual people than they were in men who. who have sex with men. Is that because of drug use or is that because... One, it's because of prep because queer people are on prep and we're getting tested. The other thing is that like more and more, straight men are having open relationships. They're having sex with men. It's also a little bit of drug use.

But really, it's that like straight people aren't as straight as, you know, they want to say that they are. And they're not on prep. And they so they don't know. Right. And it's a combination of thing. There's no like one thing. But the point is, is that like HIV affects everyone. and it doesn't know if it's going into gay people or straight people, you know?

It's like it's a virus. I also think in the gay community, it seems like there's a lot of education around it. Whereas the straight community, they kind of like, they almost put their nose up to it. Like, oh, we don't need to be educated. But you do need to be educated. Absolutely. And it's also like, what if it's like your kid or your family member that's like coming into contact? And it's like, it's really the people who don't know they have HIV that are like,

those are the people like aren't on medication. They have really high viral loads and like are out there having sexual partners. And like, that's how you get it. Well, I imagine a lot of people that are straight and don't use drugs think that they can never catch it, right? They think they're immune. But it's like one person, but it's like takes one person to like, you know, one night at the bar and you go home with one person who you don't know. It's like it takes one time. I have one friend who got HIV from the very first person he ever had sex with when he was 17 years old.

So it's, it doesn't. That's what I'm saying. It takes one time. It takes one exposure. You go home. And and the amount of women who get HIV from their partner. is staggering. So the partner's cheating on like the wife.

Yeah. And comes back home and has sex. Yes. And then it's a husband and wife. Yes. Huh. I think what we say about drugs is I get what you're saying and their sensitivity around. But I think what we're saying is people that are, especially if you're using drugs.

There's not sensitivity around it. I'm just saying that like people too often associate HIV with drug use and that is just not the case. Sure. And also it's regular sex too. It's not. I think a lot of people too associate it just with. anal and it's not just anal.

It's also regular sex. That's more about like, yeah, it's like, it's just like receiving. It's like your mucosal membrane. Like if you get a whole bunch of cum all up in your vagina or your butthole with all that like mucosal membrane, like it's not great. I think the reason people say it though is like, but intravenous drug use is the thing. So yes, it ups your chances, right? But I also just think that it's like, but it's, but that's a thing.

It's like you might not be a drug user and you might think that that guy's real cute or that lady's real cute. And then you go home with them. and then you fuck, and then you might get exposed to HIV, and then you have HIV. And so that's what I'm saying. It's like, drug use does increase a person's chances, but that doesn't make people who don't use drugs any less of a risk. I actually think this conversation that we're having with my husband and I on air is really important because it shows that there is ignorance in the straight community. And like, for me, it's also, you don't feel bad. It's in the gay community too. Okay. There's so much ignorance and

stigma in the gay community too. It's like everywhere. There's just like stigma everywhere. Well, listen, we've done 500 or so of these. And this is the first time we've talked about this subject. And definitely we're both ignorant to the subject. But I think many of our listeners are probably also ignorant to it. Which is why I like this medium because this is the point about nuance. Like a lot of these conversations and information is not readily available in mainstream outlets, right? The only way a lot of people start figuring this stuff out is by having a conversation with someone like yourself. It's cool that you're opening up and talking about. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. And love that story I say, and this is like so true. It's like, if I didn't know I had HIV, I like wouldn't know I have it. As to say, like, I've only gotten cuter. I've only gotten better at gymnastics. I have like more energy than ever. Like I look amazing. Like and for the amount of- How's your interpretive dance? It's never better. But like, I mean, I'm a stand-up comedian and I like, it occurred to me like halfway through my first tour. I was like, because like as a former cheerleader, we do this thing. We're like once a year after your cheer career. It's usually like a drunk bar trick. You're like, oh my God, want to see me.

do a backflip and it's usually like on concrete or like in an unsafe place. So it's like a once-year thing. I just so happened for my 2018 check-in did it on stage in Portland, Oregon in front of a crowd of like 3,000 people. And I was like, oh my God, you guys want to see me do a back clip. And they were like, no, no, no, no, no. Before we're a tree later. I got this.

So I do my standing back hands ring. And then it occurs to me. I was like, bitch, you have like a captive audience in your shows. Like, why don't you do like a full on gymnastics routine? So then I started taking with me on tour this like 30 foot. long by nine foot wide like bouncy track. Full leotards. It didn't used to be a leotard. It's evolved. It used to be like turtlenecks of tights. Then I was like, no bitch. You are Ali Raisman, non-binary incarnate. Okay. You're doing leotards. So then I switched to leotards.

And now I open my comedy, like my standard comedy show with me and a full leotard. I do this full gymnastics routine. Then I do like 10 minutes in my leotard afterwards. My current set is about me turning into like a non-bi- I have this intrusive daydream where I turn into a non-binary slut spy and I suffocate Vladimir Putin and my Fupa and then right when the Kremlin is like when the Kremlin agents are about to like come get me for like suffocating Vladimir Putin. Lara Croft played by Angelina Jolie OG bus in the window. She gets one of those like cute like arrow things shoots out the window. It's like into the building across the way. She picks me up like a baby. She whisks me to safety. There's a helicopter right there and

we're out and I'm safe. Hold on. Hold on. If I don't get an invite to this show, I'm going to going to be really offended. This is it's a good show. That was one of the most creative in depth, the detailed situations I've ever heard. And that's not even the whole joke. Because also within that joke, the way I seduce Vladimir is in manner of

Jamie Lee Curtis to Arnold Schwarzenegger and True Lies when she does like that sexy black little black dress, you know, with the bedpost. That's what I do right before I suffocate him in my fupus. So it's like all about references. You know what I'm saying? All about references. I love it. But the point is that, you know, wow. But, you know, we just love gymnastics.

We're all about, like, HIV advocacy. It's, you know, I'm a, I'm a multi-faceted human. If you could have two minutes or three minutes on the mic to just tell everyone, clear up any misconceptions about HIV. What would you say? Hmm. Well, call us out. Call Michael.

Like, be like, this is. I feel like I already did. No, no, no. But, like, tell us, like, what I want to know, like, call out the misconceptions that you see every day that are exhaust. that it's a problem of the past. It's still very much like an issue of now because it's really a matter of like resources. I'm able to like see my doctor every three months and I'm able to take my pill every day.

So it's like I'm good. Like I'm not and and not that people who are living with HIV are a threat. But it's like I don't want anyone else to have to go through what I went through. So it's like if you have HIV, it's really no biggie. You just got to go get your test. And then you get your doctor and you get your pill once a day. And that's it. Like you get your blood levels done.

It's nobody like you're... I think there's so much fear around it. To your point, like I say, if I didn't know I had it, I wouldn't know I had it. I feel great. I look great. I have no side effects from my medication. So how do people know they have it? You got to get tested.

So it's not like you have all these symptoms and you're like, oh, I need to get tested. It's like you got to get tested and then they tell you this is what I don't get. So there's like there's like 20, I think there's like a quarter of people who get HIV will experience symptoms. And I was one of them. It's called like acute something something. And so like I had fever. I had like flu like symptoms. I actually like passed out doing one of my clients like hair because I like really

wasn't feeling good. And I just got like lightheaded. I mean, when that happened, I was like, this can't be good because I've been being like a big old slut. And I was like, you know, no offense. Because like I'm obsessed with sluts. I'm like very sex positive. But I just like, I could be in a little trubs just based off of what I've, the activities that I've been up to.

But I was like, hopefully not. You know, I thought it could be in trouble before. And then I was like, okay. It's like, maybe I'll be fine. But then I went to Planned Parenthood and the test was positive and it was like, fuck. You know, so then, you know, you got to get your doctor. You got to go get like further testing, blah, blah, blah. But that's other thing I would say that like, that's why it's so important to support Planned Parenthood.

Because for people who don't have access to healthcare, if they don't have insurance, like, Planned Parenthood and especially like the Trump administration really wreaked havoc on it was called, I think it was called Title 10, but it was this grant that like provided like millions and millions and millions of STI tests to like people living in poverty that like, Like, because if you don't know that you have HIV and if like you can't get a doctor, it's like you're just out here like spreading it. And really what we want is for people who have HIV to like get a doctor, get their medication so that A, they can live a long healthy life and B, they aren't contagious to their sexual partners.

Like that's, that's, we know what we're going for. Here's the other thing. Before I had money, right? Like before Clear Eye, it was really stressful because you have to like, your taxes have to be done on time every year. You like have to turn it in, you know, like every H. safety and that is different. So California's was like, you have to have your taxes. You know, to qualify for. Yes. And like in it like California, it's like based off of your

birthday. So it's like every year like by my birthday, I had to make sure that like my money was right and that like, you know, I had like your case worker was like all together and that like your forms are signed sealed and delivered because like you don't want to lose access to that med. And for me, I was really lucky because I never like got so deep in my addiction that like I was like fuck it. Like, because I was like having like a relapse now and then, but I wasn't like a daily user, if someone's like really in the throes of addiction, whether it's meth, heroin, alcoholism, or even if they're just like, if they're dealing experiencing homelessness and they like can't get access to internet or car or whatever, like that's how it gets fucked up. Because like I had to jump

through a lot of hoops to get my medication and to get access to that care, which required me to have like internet and a car and like the wherewithal to like, navigate those systems, which, like, can be confusing. There's, like, a lot of stuff to click. And, like, if you have, like, literacy issues or if you have, like, it's just a lot of stuff to figure out. There's a lot of hoops, it sounds like. Yeah. It's, like, not, like, easy. And it should be, like, much easier, especially because it's a fucking nightmare. Like, if you get it. So it's like, we should just be making it easier so that, like, people can have their doctor and have their medication. It just shouldn't be. It's such an example of, like, why we really need Medicare for

all, because the closest analogy I can think of, and this is not a good analogy, but I feel Like, it makes sense to people. It's like, if you, and with Medicare for all, it's like, people are like, well, I don't want to spend all that money. Like, I like my private thing and it's like, whatever. Trying to save money on that is like, saying like, I want to go to the bar and I want to drink and I don't want to pay for a cab. Like, I don't want to, like, I'm just going to drive.

I'm just going to drive drunk. It's probably going to be okay. And then you get a DUI if you don't kill someone, but let's just say you get a DUI. And it ends up, that was like a $20,000 ride versus if you would have just gotten a cab. You know what I'm saying? by the time you pay those lawyer fees and the court fees and you serve your time, that was like a $10,000. It's like,

you should have just taking that $20 cab. So it's like the price that we pay for everyone not having health care. That's why when you go to have a baby, it's $20,000 on the bill if you don't have insurance. So like what do people do that don't have insurance? They just don't pay. And then the people who do, that's like, that's why these bills and these costs are so fucked up.

So it's like, it's a huge issue. It's like one that I don't really like totally understand like how to wrap my head around. but it's like once you've experienced living with HIV and you've had to operate these systems, it's like, wow, because it's also not even HIV. It's like gonorrhea. It's syphilis. It's every S. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like you should be able to go to the doctor and get pills to like treat yourself. I think everybody, I mean, like, I think everybody probably agrees having medical care for everybody is a smart thing. I think where people get so frustrated is there's trillions and trillions of

dollars spent by our government every year. And it's like, you look at those dollars and like, how can you not solve this part of it? This is clearly important. important, right? People's health. I think like if you got everybody together, rational lines, like, yeah, we all want medical care. But we want responsible people to actually figure this out and spend it right instead of wasting all the money so that, you know, because every year goes by, the debt goes up and like, where the fuck are you guys spending all this money? How do we not have this solved as an evolved country? Right. Yeah. It's very strange, right? Yeah. Like people, I see right now, people are getting mad at Elon. They're like, we spend

$44 billion on Twitter. I don't care about that. But they're like, look what you could have done with the $44 billion. And there's other people like, our government spends a couple trillion a year and they can't figure it out. What makes you think one guy is going to figure it out? Yeah, there's a lot to unpack. There's a ton of, no, but there's a ton of cost. But I think that's the frustration in this country is like, we can all sit here and be like, yeah, we all want medical care. Like, that makes a ton of sense. We should all have it. Like everybody should have access. Especially medicine for people that are struggling, it should be much more accessible and much easier. Why can't we figure that out? It seems very strange that we can't figure that out as a country.

It's because people don't want to pay. I think it's not that they don't want to pay. They don't want to give it to people that are going to waste the money. No, literally, they don't want to pay. Sure. But if you, I think if people knew that if they paid, the money was going to be spent responsibly, they'd be okay with that. The problem is we keep going into the cycle where we pay a lot. Debt keeps going up and up and up.

No, no, no, no. You're not hearing me. In like Wyoming and Tennessee and like Arkansas and even in many pockets of urban spaces, people do not want to pay for people living with HIV. They don't want to pay. Sure. For HIV specifically. They don't want to, but they also don't want to pay for, like, drug stuff because they're like, that's your problem.

You're the one of digital drugs. Not me. That doesn't affect me. It's like this way of- They don't probably want to pay for someone's gonorrhea. And also because they consider that wasteful. Like for too many people, they are like, I want health care for everyone. But if it's for the trans people and for the queer people and for the gonorrhea.

They want to handpick. That's a question of morality, honey. That's a waste to me. I don't. I don't know. I fully agree that there's a segment of people like that that don't want to. don't you agree that probably the majority of rational people, gay, straight, trans, queer, whatever, think that most people should have access to health care and that our government should be able to

figure that out. I think there's fringe groups, of course, on extremes that, you know, let's call these people racist, prejudiced people, right? But most people would agree that this country would be in a better state if everybody had access to health care. Yeah. It's just we have a bunch of wackos that can't figure out how to get it done. I don't think, I think that's where you lose me.

Because I feel like we do have people who can get it done, but there's also been people who are like systemically blocking those things from getting done, which is a voli, which is like a very like multi-layered intersectional issue. Because it's like there's corporations that are standing in the way of that reform. There's also politicians that are standing in the way of that reform. I think we're saying the same thing. I think that's the frustration is that the majority of rational people in this country want it done, but are people that are in positions of power to get it done or blocking and not getting it done. I also think, too, like there's a lot. of people that there's more people than you think who are racist and homophobic. And that's an issue too, which is horrible. That's like the starting issue is that there's people in these

places that you're saying everywhere that need to get rid of it. Also too, it's like even like what is considered health care, you know, like abortion is health care. But for so many politicians that are like really right wing, it's like no, you know, my faith tells me that abortion is murder. And like, so that's not health care. And my faith also tells me that being trans is a sin and being gay is a sin. So that's not health care. Like, I don't want to. So it really, like, because everything is like a lot of, well, not everything, but a lot of conversations here start with like morality and like faith and religion.

And that's what, you know, this country is like founded by Puritans who like wanted to like really just fucking jerk off for Jesus. You know what I'm saying? So it's like that's at the root of like so much of our stuff is that like people aren't. Because, like, healthcare is, like, just kind of like science, too, right? It's like, if people are out here getting exposed to, like, all these different things and they don't have a place. And we just lived through pandemic, like, a respiratory pandemic. And people are still doubling down on, like, personal freedom. Like, I don't want to, like, I don't want to wear a mask.

I don't want, like, vaccines. I don't want, like, people to, like, still, like, and so that's where I'm like, I don't even know what the answer is. Because, like, we just went through a fucking, like, respiratory pandemic that, like, affected everyone. and they still were like, get fucked. You know, I don't know. Well, it's nuanced because I think people just don't want to be told what to do, right? And that's the thing. It's like if it, if, and I think this is where you get in trouble is like you have, I think

the majority of people are rational, like minded people and you have these extreme sides that are the loudest. And to your point earlier, social makes those voices even louder. So you think that that's the majority of the world when probably a lot of us are sitting in the middle like, hey, what the fuck? Like we just want this, we just want this solved. And you got these wackos on the sides. And because clicks go to the most extreme and like the moderate ones.

don't get the clicks. It's like you just don't see all those like moderate ones, which is, yeah. No, in conversations like this also don't get seen, right? They're like, no, we want to see two people going at it, yelling, arguing. We don't want to see two people actually agree with that. Rip your pants off and show us your pubs. Yeah, yeah. No, but that's my, that's my point. I thought that would get it spicier. You see? I actually do have a spicy question. Give it to us. What I like about this podcast is we can go from talking about politics. To pubs? To how to give a blowjob. Yeah. What, you said earlier that you were, a slut. I bet you have

some tips. On how to give a good blow job? Yeah. Oh my God. I'm in a transition. This is to that. Okay. Well, okay, here's my. Okay. Very detailed. Okay. Well, I feel like it's Close. Close. Close. No, this is it. You know what it is.

Do you want to show us? No. Michael, pull it out. It's about being like, it's about being like responsive to what your partner is responding to. So I don't think there's like a one size fits all for blow jobs. Like some people love it when you like spit all over that thing and get it like super spitty and like smack yourself

in the face with it, you know? Other people like it like not so messy, you know, they want it a little bit like they don't really like all that extra. You know, they want that all that performance, you know. So it's like ice cream. Yeah, it's like you got to like figure out like what there was. So I like to kind of like do a smorgas board like try all of it. You know, I'm like are you into like the base or are you into the head or you into like the eye contact or you into the like and now and here's the sidebar. If they're not into the eye contact and like those eyes are closed. It always sends up a red flag for me. What?

Wait, wait, wait. I don't like this. Eyes are closed. Why are you not looking at me down here being like a slut for you? Because they're imagining someone else. I don't trust it. I don't trust it. You think it's cheating vibes?

I just know it. I don't think it's cheating. No connection. Yes. Huh. It's like signs of a wider issue, honey. Okay. I agree with that.

So it's like if my eyes are closed, I'll like squeeze his balls and I'm like, I'm down here. Oh shit. working for you. So here's a question. Yeah. Start out soft and go hard or just start out hard. Or does it depend? I always start off with, oh, and see, this is where I feel bad for women because, like, I always start with what I like.

And then if they don't like that. What do you like? I kind of, I'm like, Bailey, my assistant's like literally in the room and I feel like she's going to, I can't. Okay. It's like HR. Someone's going to call HR. She's literally pink. I've never seen her turn that color.

This whole podcast. No, talking about HIV and stuff is fine. Like she's heard that before. It's just like not my personal sexual preferences. We don't have to talk about. So I guess I would just say, this is how I can say we're so crazy. You said that you, you said that you're a slut and I want to know all the tips. Yeah, yeah.

So what I would say is, it's like for like if you're, okay, because like that's not your first like long term serious partner, right? No. So the most experience that you've had with a dick, like with like your first dick that wasn't, you know, obviously because you guys don't have one. He was my first. I was the first. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no.

No, no. He was my first dick and then we like broke up and went. Big gap between. Big gap. So I guess the point there that I was trying to say was is that like whatever your most intimate knowledge is of like what one person's likes are, you know, you could start with that with your like, you know, future partners, you know, because like use that other dick as a reference since, you know, on account of you don't have one.

Okay. You know. So it's like at the first guy liked it more like medium pressure and like, you know, pretty sloppy, do that with the next one. But if they don't respond to it, then you're like, oh. And also ask questions. I think it's good to ask questions. How do I ask questions with a dick in my mouth?

Do you like that? Or it's like, oh, like that? You know? You just got to ask. You got to ask. You got to ask. Are you getting a hard on right now? No, but I think there's a sound advice, learn.

There's a sound advice. I feel like she's literally pregnant with your child. Yeah. Well, listen, because she figured that first part out. I feel like I give a great job. Listen, there's no complaints. There's no complaints in this department. Yeah.

I feel like that is. is one thing that I can give myself a 10 out of 10. I always am open to tips. I'm never going to be closed off. I will say from past experiences and I got to be delicate about this. Don't include me in these past experiences. There is maybe nothing worse than a bad one. Meaning like it's like don't.

A toothy. Toothy. Not good. Yeah. Also when there's no. Sometimes I wish I had a dick. If somebody feels like they don't want to be doing it and you just like no and it's they don't like it.

I will say a lot of people don't like to do it. You have, this is a tip that I have. I like like to do it. I am raised. Most, most gays are like really like are like really like are like really like are like really like are into it. Okay. I'm into it too and I think that I think I can't.

I think I can blanketly say this I think as a man that I have yet to meet a man that does not enjoy it if it's done right. I like I think like I hear sometimes. I thought you know it's I'm so used to talking to gay people that I thought you were going to say like I've yet to meet a man who doesn't love to suck day. That's like what I thought. But it was like, you didn't say that. I just like, so not used to it.

You know what I'm saying? But I think it's an important thing. Okay, but wait, not to like change the subject so like hardcore again. But can we talk about how good the air dry cream looks in your hair now that it's been like a little bit? No, look at like the texture. Can you tell me what it did for me? Like it feels good. Yeah.

So, okay, well, yes. So but really the thing about our line that is really super cool, like literally it's called hemis squaline. And it's so because like our bodies have squaline. Right? But then as we get older, it dissipates like it's production. So then there's squalane, which is like basically a molecular, like, copy of squaline. So we love products that have squaline in it because, like, your body readily absorbs it.

So that's fierce. Then hemi means half. So really hemisguelaine is just like a half-sized molecule of squalane. Get it? So hemisquiline, half-sized molecule of squaline. Get it? Got it. Yeah.

So, but historically, squaline was harvested from shark liver, not fierce. So our parent company figured out this way to take sugar cane and ferment sugar cane. And they made a molecular copy of squalane, but it's from sugar cane, honey. So our hemisquilane is made in the same way. So it's sugar cane derived. And you don't have to fuck with the sharks. Don't have to fuck with the sharks. Plus, all of the things that we make have the hemi squalane and they're silicone-free.

So silicones, like, really plasticate and, like, live on the outside of your hair. And it prevents the other ingredients that are coupled with it from penetrating that barrier. So silicones aren't great. Sulfates, we don't love. So everything that we make is silicone-free. I was going to ask you that. Yeah, silicone-free, sulfate-free. But hemisguelaine, it instantly, like, it nourishes your hair.

It gives it instant moisture. It makes it instantly stronger. It's just like a really powerhouse ingredient. So that was a long explanation is to say, what is air-dried cream doing for you? First, that hemisgueline, it's giving you so much shine, and it's going to improve the integrity of your hair. Then it has chia seed and linseed in it. Those are the natural texture enhancers. So that's going to give you hold.

So it's going to give you, like, buildable hold. So if you, like, put a little bit on, it's like, light hold. you put in a little bit more, it's going to get more medium hold. So if I normally slick my hair back. Do like a layer when it's wet, let it like when it's halfway dry, do another little bit. Yes. Do like another little bit. And then when it's all the way dry, do another little bit.

So the more you use the, and actually, if you don't have time for all that, you're like, I just need to do it wet and then it's done. Just use more. So it's like. Oh, I'll spend the time. Because it's buildable. You know what I'm saying though? So it's like a little, it's like a little bit of hold medium amount more. You're not going to be happy with what I've been using normally.

And then there's also maringa seed oil in that. and that's super shiny. So it's giving you shine. It's giving you hold. No, I need some. Like I said, you're not going to be happy with what I normally do. So that's the air dry cream and I love that.

Now, do you, I feel like in that one picture you showed me of you with your gorgeous hair down and blow dried. Do you, do you blow out your hair? Is that what happens? I don't blow out my hair because I, well, I do blow out my hair.

Someone, someone helps me. Okay. Well, they come to your house and do it. Okay. So just have them, the next time your person comes,

have them try out the instant recovery serum. Okay. It's my favorite heat protective of all fucking time. It's so lightweight. It's so light weight. It's so lightweight. It really just, we smell it.

It smells so good. It's so lightweight. It smells delicious. And even if you don't heat style your hair, this is great for a first layer because it will balance your porosity. So it will balance, because you know,

like our midlakes and ends are drier and, like, more catchy in their moment prone to breakage because they're like on the ends of your hair. You know, like your midlinks and ends are more prone to breakage. I have a lot of breakage right now.

So even if you don't, so even if you don't blow dry, if you're just going to air, dry, put instant recovery serum on your hair because it's going to protect and strengthen your ends, but then it really protects it if you heat style it. From blowjobs to blow dries. Yes, it's what we're doing over here. But this stuff is so fucking good.

It also has the hemisquiline in there. But then it also has charged lemon protein and niacinamide, which are really, really, really powerful skincare ingredients, which protect from so much heat and so much antioxidant. It's so good. Wait, how are you not on QVC? Well, I have my own hair care line and we don't do QVC. would be, well, if you need like some... No chance to QVC.

Amazon, Amazon live? We're on JVNHare.com. And we're also in Sapphora. I'm saying, how are you? Not like... I go on my Instagram all the time and talk about it. Got it.

Yeah, and I love... I mean, I'm so proud of it. The audience... This is like the culmination of my whole, like, career. I mean, my first love was hair. I like, love doing hair since I was a little baby. You can tell you're extremely passionate. I love it so much.

And it really was like, it's what made me realize I was an artist. It's like really, it's like really what kind of delivered me from like addiction. And like, it was hair dressing. Like I always had hairdressing and my clients and like that community to come back to you. It really did change my life. It's been like my North Star. So to get to make this line has just been like, this is like beyond my wildest dreams because I never thought I'd be in a position to like found my own hair care company. I would have in sixth grade when you were doing the interpretive dance.

Never would have known. I would have told you. We should have gone to school together. I would have told you. I wish you would. I would have been like. But please have your hair person uses it. So it's wet hair, then blow it out and then you'll love it so much.

Okay. And I also really want you to do previews you. rush cowboys, because I think you'll love it so much. Okay. Okay. That two products. And then also, after you have the baby, embody shampoo and conditioner, because your hair is going to shed a little bit more than you're used to and everything's going to be fine. But you should especially use instant recovery serum and embody shampoo and conditioner because it's just going to like get you through your life and it's going to be great. Can you guys message me exactly what to do? Well, I brought you the entire line. Okay. You get to go home with the entire line. I love it. I'm going to

introduce you to a tip that is streamlined my life, increased my productivity, but most importantly increase the efficiency of the skinny confidential team. Okay, so I was introduced to this thing called ClickUp, and I cannot even tell you how much it has helped me with my team. My team is growing. We're like a team of 20 now. So we have tasks, projects, documents, goals, spreadsheets, to-do lists, you get it. And ClickUp basically streamlines this. So it began with the premise that productivity was broken. There's too many tools. And I feel like everyone feels like that. There's too many tools to keep track of. There's too many things in separate ecosystems. We got all these apps. It was too much. So clickups the one tool to house all your stuff, your tasks, your projects,

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this offer does in soon. Non-negotiable for me is I have to have my morning routine and my nighttime routine. You know this. I take it very seriously. And one of the things that has been in my nighttime routine forever, and I will do every single night forever, is a weighted blanket. I just cannot tell you, if you are having anxiety and you're winding down and you put that weighted blanket on top of you, it just stimulates the feeling of being hugged and it releases those relaxing hormones. It just helps you like chill out and recover and drift. off. So here's the move. I have my red light in my room. I don't turn on any lights. I have my red light. And then I have this little machine that mimics the sun going down. And I put on 5 to 8 hertz and I get in my bed under my

gravity blanket. And I drift off to sleep while reading my Kindle. No phone. It is such a game changer. So if you're craving better sleep, gravity has got you covered. You should know they make the only blanket that's scientifically proven to improve sleep quality by an independent study. And it just gives you a more restful sleep. Less anxious, less stressed. You just wind down into a stress-free sleep. And I need all the sleep I can get right now with a newborn. And if you run hot like I do, no worries.

They have a cooling blanket and the cover is made from ultra-cooling eucalyptus. So you're comfy, you're drifting off into a dream sleep. We have an exclusive deal for you. all skinny confidential listeners get 15% off any gravity product. They make weighted robes, sleep masks, and a bunch of other cool stuff. I personally recommend their weighted cooling blanket. You can visit gravityblankets.com slash skinny and use code skinny and get ready for the best sleep of your life. The audience would be mad if I didn't ask you about queer eye.

Oh, ask about it. Okay. First of all, how did you get cast? I mean, I know how you got cast actually. How did you get approached? Well, I didn't get approached. I approached them. Oh.

I want to hear this because a lot of people who are listening want to hustle. And that sounds like a hustle. So how did you approach them? So I had been starring in Gay of Thrones, which was like my first like kind of break into the entertainment industry. I was recapping Game of Thrones and we were putting it on Funny or Die and it had been like nominated for an Emmy. And I was like, I had like, I was like a 30,000 follower queen on Instagram like circa 2016.

So I was like starting to like get a little bit of a foothold. Then I read online because it had. leaked that they were rebooting queer eye. And I was like, I was bored to do this. And the tagline for the reboot was turning red states pink one makeover at a time. And I was like, I'm even more meant to do this because I'm like from a cornfield. And I've been dealing with like with conservatism my whole life. Like I was meant to do this. Like I can do this. So I approached them. I got an interview. I went to the interview. I looked a mess because I'd been doing hair all day long. I when I looked down to my shirt when I got there and I realized and I tell the story and love that story

that I was covered in hair. And so I had to like smuggle duct tape out of like the front desks. Like I had to be like, look over there and like get this roll of duct tape and go into the bathroom. So I could like get all the like people's hair off of me because I'd done like 15 heads of hair that day. So they seem to like me. And then I got to come back for this like virtual go see or like this virtual like audition. And I got called back from that. And then there was like a in person chemistry audition.

And that took place in it was in Glendale, California and like an embassy suites. and it was like one of those ballrooms and it was like a two-day audition that like I've never had that much heartburn and I've never felt that much pressure in my life it was so intense because I kept seeing my life flash before my eyes and I was like oh my God like this could be the thing

and then I got it but how confident were you when you were doing it were like I'm getting this or? I was very not confident. I was portraying confidence but on the inside I was like thousands of people tried out for this and then like in every round I kept getting through

I was like I kept thinking that like I kept thinking, I was like, oh my God, this is why you've been so obsessed with America's Next Top Model. Every single episode of that show has prepared you for this audition. And like...

It's true. Because at first, like, because I remember they sent this email on like the eve of night one and they were like, because there was like a cocktail hour and then like two days in a row. So on that cocktail hour night,

they were like, mix, mingle, don't be a wallflower. Like, this is our opportunity as producers to like see how you guys get on. So like mingle. So like, really people were like, mingling each other to death. Like, just a lot of, you know, blah.

So the night one, I was, like, mingling. But then on the beginning of the first full day, like, I remember we were, like, all in this, like, green room and there was, like, 40 people and everyone was, like, kind of separated by, like, their vertical or their, like, they're, like, specialty. And I remember thinking, like, I need to be by myself right now because, like, I know I'm going to have to perform today. Like, we're going to be doing, like, groupings and we're going to be on camera and we're going to be, like, I just, and I knew that there was nobody.

watching and I also at that point. And I also knew that like, I have a tendency to come out of the gate really hard and then lose steam. And that's happened to me at like other auditions because I'd like, I've been auditioning for things for like years because of Gay of Thrones like looking for like what was that next thing. And so I just feel like a lot of the nose and a lot of the rejection that I'd experienced like through Gay of Thrones kind of prepared me for that.

And so I just was like really calm and I was like really inside myself at the beginning. I just like became very aware. I was like if there's someone in here from casting, you need to turn on. If there's not, you need to rest. And so, Marathon. And so, yes. And so I was just, and I just, because I was watching people just like burn themselves out. Just like, just, I could just see it.

And I was just, and I also just kept telling myself like, everything's fine. I was like, I just, and it was during the Oscars and E Entertainment like had hired me to do like a makeover for the Oscars like on day one. Or like the next day. And I was like, you're going to do your Oscars things. Like even if you don't get like, you're still working. Like, if it's not this, it'll be the other thing. I just was like calm.

And then after day one, I was like, well, they flew out all these people. I think there was like 40 or 50 people. And I was like, there's no way they're going to cut a lot of people because like, they flew all these people from all over the place. So like they're probably going to want to have like a full like time with them. And I found out at the end of the first day, they're like, well, we've cut half the people. Like you're coming back tomorrow. So like, then there's only 20 people for day two.

And I was like, oh my God. They cut a shit load. That's a lot. And so then like day two, it became like a lot more real. And then like I walked in day two and I was like, this is not America's best friend race. Like I because like then I was like, I'm not like talking to any of these. other like beauty experts anymore honey because then i was like the writing's on the wall like you need to make friends with the other ones like make friends with the other people so then i was like

and then tan honey had this camel colored sweater on this like camel sweater and i was like who is that gray-haired fucking like fox with that like camel-colored turtleneck and so then we made friends and then i saw like and then it was really funny because bobby at the beginning of i can't remember was day one or day two but whenever it was we had bonded because he accidentally called the creator of the show and his husband, like the opposite names. Like he called the creator of the show his husband's name and like, you know, mixed up their names. And so he came over and he was like, oh my God, I messed up their names.

Oh my God. What should I do? It's like, they're going to, they're going to hate me. I'm never going to get the job. Like, oh my God, they're going to hate me. Like, I'm like such an idiot. Like, how can I do that? And I was like, smack, smack. Get it together, girl.

I was like, it's not that big of a deal. Like, they're going to be fine. And literally, like, I looked away to like see who he was talking about for like two seconds as I was trying to calm him down. And before I could turn back to him, he already had like beeline and like left me in mid-sentence to go explain to them like how sorry he was for messing up their names. And I was just like, so we already bought it because I was like, honey, he's like an anxiety, like, nervous Nelly.

So I loved him, loved Tann. Then I'm an auntie. And then like, Karamo. And so we all kind of just like found each other and kind of made friends. Were you guys actually friends on the show or was their drama behind like like off the show that we didn't see? Well, this is like all like at the very beginning. we hadn't even filmed anything yet.

I'm just still like in the audition. So like we all definitely like, I feel like we gravitated. People could see that there was synergy with. Yeah. Yeah. And then I mean, there wasn't,

I mean, from where I was, I know that like people have like, I've read whatever everyone else has read. No, I mean, from where I was, it was like,

we were all moving to Atlanta. Like, it was all of our kind of like first big project. I was like so excited to be there. And we all still are so excited to be there. So it's like, I think that if like,

I don't feel it's like, drama per se as much as it was like everyone learning like what it's like to work together and like we're all really passionate about our jobs. So I feel like it's like we all want to do our best. So I feel like it's just it wasn't like dramas. More just like passion. What what is it like though to be with a group of people where you can go out to lunch and then all of a sudden when you go out to lunch people are coming up to you and recognizing you guys. Definitely was different. I remember when in season one and that like shot of us like running in the car and like walking across that like rainbow cross walk. Like when we were shooting that Atlanta, people were like, get the fuck out of the way.

Like, because like, no one knew who we were then. So it's like, and like, what are you filming? Like, what is this? And we were like, it's a Burlington Coat Factory commercial. Like, we're just like, we're just doing coats. And like, people are like, get this fucking commercial out. Like, we're just trying to brunch because it was like a Saturday, which is, it is funny because it's like so different. But yeah, no, it's like definitely. It was surreal. That part I never, I never like saw coming. And I didn't know like how different that would be. How do you handle it now when people come up to you? it depends on like because you know you're still a human and you're not a robot so I feel like 95% of the time I'm like I mean actually I think I probably always am gracious but if I'm ever like oh my god I don't want to take a picture or like if I'm just like going through something or if like you know because sometimes like people will come up to you if you're like fully distressed like I've talked about that and love that story like when my like I had a cat like tragically die was like the most traumatic thing that's like ever happened to me like fell out of the window of my apartment building in Philadelphia and this woman like came out to and she was like oh my god

and I have a picture. I was like, get the fuck. I'm like, I just, like, ran away, like, Anna Ferris and scary movie when she, like, ran out of every room screaming. I'm not crazy. It was like that. And then, like, that's when I was like, and then I did that to, like, three more people that day. And then I was like, oh, I'm going to have to say something on Instagram because, like, I'm not going to be normal for, like, weeks. And I know that. And I just, like, need people to, like, back the fuck off right now. And so I did. And, yeah, so it's like, if you're having a hard time, it's like, but I feel so bad about it for, like, days at a time. Like, I'll literally, like, this one lady,

like, I was weird. People are excited to see you. Yeah, but like if it's like, you know, eight in the morning, like, and I'm actually am a morning person, but I was like, I never really drink alcohol very much anymore, but I was really hung over in England when I was there on tour the last time. And then I was like at Herod's like early in the morning with my husband and my style, like, trying to get something. And like, I was like on my phone looking for something.

And then this lady just like stood right in front of me like, like, we know like if you're looking down, but you can like see someone's legs and they just like stand right in front of you so that you can't like, you know, so then like I looked up and I was like, hi and she was like just had like her camera already on and was just like just bursting just like really intense like bursting energy and like four inches from my face and we still were in COVID and I was just like let's just take the picture and she was like and I was like oh my god I'm sorry I'm so sorry then we took the picture and then I literally like turned on my settings on Instagram so that I could accept DMs from people who like don't follow me because I turned that setting on because I had to

find her to apologize because I couldn't stop thinking about it. her and I just instinctually knew she was going to message me. So I turned it on and then like four hours later she messaged me and I had to send her a video and I was like, I'm so sorry. Like I'm sorry. I was just like tired. I like didn't feel good. I'm sorry.

I'm like you're really sweet. I'm like, I always try to be like sweet, sweet Sally because I know I'm going to feel like shit if I'm like mean to someone. And I don't really disappoint people from the vision. But you are still just like a person and it's like when you have five cats and a husband and like a family and like shit gets stressful times sometimes when you're like a non-binary. your HIV positive J-Lo with like a hair care company and like books and stuff. You're like, sometimes just get stressed out, you know, and like you're just like your head's

not there. But 95% of the time that's not the space that I am. What's your husband's energy compared to yours? Like what's, what does he do? Calm and funny. Where'd you guys meet? We met our Instagram. Oh my God.

Wait, he slid into your DMs or you slid into his? He slid into mine. What do you say? I like your jumper. Oh. Where did you get it? And I was like, I know you're trying to beat, honey. All right.

This is a question we get asked a lot. At-home lab tests all the time. This is in my DMs. I know Michael gets this probably even more than me. And Everlywell has you covered. Basically, it's a digital healthcare designed for you. And they have 30 at-home lab tests. So you can choose which test you want, whatever makes sense for you. So say you're getting a rash and you want to figure out what it is. You could maybe take the food sensitivity test. I personally took the women's health test. I personally took the women's health test because I'm postpartum. So I wanted to just see a lay of the land. So I knew which supplements to take, which vitamins, which minerals. And it just helps you have knowledge. And knowledge is power, especially when it comes to your body. The one that I like, okay, it's called the women's health

test. And it measures 11 biomarkers that are known to play a role in your overall health and wellness. It checks for any abnormal levels that can be keeping you from feeling your best. The best part of this, though, is it's at home, you guys, because no one wants to go to the doctor, get their blood tested, run into someone. It's just like too much work. This is so easy. It comes straight to your door. You collect your sample and then you use this included prepaid shipping label. I mailed it back quickly. It went to a certified lab. And then you get doctor reviewed results that are sent to you on your phone or device in just days. The whole process was honestly like very skinny confidential ask. It was efficient, as I always say. And you can share the results with your own primary doctor if you want so

they can help sort of guide you. So what I did is I sent my results. to a doctor that's helping me with my supplements and minerals and everything postpartum. One million people have trusted Everly Well to support their health and wellness goals and you should too. And for all listeners of the show, Everlywell is offering a special discount of 20% off an at-home lab test. You're going to go to everlywell.com slash skinny. That's everlywell.com slash skinny. You get 20% off your next at-home lab test. Everlywell.com slash skinny. So are you guys like in love? He's the one everything. Well, we're married.

Well, what do you think marriage means? I don't know. I'm just wondering. Like I just want to. Are you in, are you? It depends on the day. I'm being honest. Oh my God. Yeah, it depends on the day. I love this like radical. Last week he was complaining about a cold and I'm about to burst. And so, you know, last week I could take it. And the iconic words of my aunt Lisa, RIP, I loved her so much. She used to. to say men don't suffer well. And I have to say on the whole, it tends to like a little bit be true sometimes. Okay. So what's your husband's energy though compared to yours? Calm? He's like calm.

He's very funny and he's very like he has like a lot of energy. But he's like, he's really into gardening and like sculpture and pottery and art. He's really creative. He's more of a calm energy. Yeah. But we love, I love him so much. He's so sweet. He's like a really like cute ginger. I bet you guys are fun at a dinner party. I think again it depends on. what mood I'm in. But I'm usually, because you know what the thing with dinner parties is?

Sometimes I'm just like, I need to soak a joint and like go home. You know, it's a social anxiety. It's like, yeah, it's like social anxiety. What's your sign?

Aries. Ah, I love Aries. Michael's and Aries. What's your birthday? March 28th. Ah! Is that your birthday? Oh my God.

We had the same birthday, Michael. And we had the same birthday is the lady Gaga. We do? Yes. As who? Lady Gaga.

How could you? you not know that? We should have started the show that way. This is only like the third time in my life that I've had the same birthday as someone in real life. It's a good birthday. What's your husband's signs? He's a Virgo.

Oh, right? August 23rd. But I'm always bad at other people's signs. I'm pretty sure he's Virgo. That's so cute. But you know, I actually, I'm listening to you talk and we're different in a lot of ways, but I'm probably the same way.

Like, I'm like, do we, like, I like the alone time. I like, I need the alone time. No, well, you need to recharge to have a personality. What year were you born? 87. We're the literal same age exactly. We're born on the same day, the same year. That's fucking weird.

We just turned 35. That's weird. And you guys went to college together. Went to the same college too. So that's what I'm saying. Because I graduated the year early and that's why you were there the year after me. That's fucking. And that also must be the same body type.

Hey, do it? Do you know what? That's, but hey, that is weird, right? Same year. The same day. The exact same age. The exact same age. That's pretty cool.

And it's never happened to be before. That's cute. It's never happening before. I'm going to, do you know what? And we also kind of look alike. We have the same eye color. Do you know what I'm going to do now? Honestly, my dinner party conversation is going to be, you know, me and Jonathan Van Ness, same

day, same day. Okay, but wait. Do you know what this means? Do you guys know if you're having a boy or girl yet? Yes, but the audience doesn't know. Oh, well, can we just like incorporate Vanessa into their name somewhere since it's like my last name with an A on it? It's kind of perritty and we have the same birthday.

I will take it. Can they have like a second middle name? Give it to the suggestion box. I am a little tripped out right now. It's like a second middle name. That is weird, right? A second. But you like, but, but, but, uh.

Do you feel like, okay. Let me ask you this. Do you feel like 20, 30% of the time? We're so shook right now. We can even see that. I can't believe that you guys have the same. I have to ask them a personal question. I was out of my chair.

Do you feel like 20, 30% of the time you can like really turn it on, but like 70% of the time you kind of just need to be yourself and recharge. I'm the opposite of that because of my job. But you're the opposite of that because of your job. But I'm saying in your ideal world, like if you could go through five days the way you plan your day. You seem like you have to recharge to have this big of a personality. Yeah, I do. But I can't do that 70% of the time, honey.

I'm like a career woman. I have to like work. Of course. But so do you like your alone time? I'm obsessed with my alone time. Okay. See. There's something.

I'm telling you. And now it's like a married person with like four cats and a dog and like a whole company to run. It's like, I don't really get it as much as I used to. You've got a lot going on. Do you get grumpy if you don't get your alone time? Yeah. That's when Vanessa comes out.

See? And you guys both love blowjobs. What are the chances? What are the chances? And you guys both have great hair. We do. We both love air dry cream by Javier. Yeah, you both.

No, but that is weird. Same day, same birthday. It's literally, it never happened to me. We need to, like, you know what we need to do? We need to get, like, a conference of everyone who's birthday is March 28th and 1987. Have you done all your, like, a, like the tests, the anagram, the endogram, what those tests?

Are we all the same? Like, what if they were all just like us? Hey. Can I tell you something else? Can I tell you something else really weird? Yeah. My dad's from Illinois. Oh, here we go.

Here we go. Do we have the same dad? Okay. Do we have that? Are we twins? Could we? No, I mean, I feel so bad if we were like both had a share womb because they'd be like we're both really big.

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, and you guys are definitely having like a singular baby. What do you mean? Well, like it's not twins. From what we've seen. Don't even put that into the. But wouldn't that be cute?

If there's like a little teeny tiny one hiding. I'll call you. You can take the other. I don't know why I think that is so cute. But I just think there is something. I've always thought this. I've always thought it. There's something so cute about like accidental twins.

I think that. I mean, I get there. It's cute. But it sounds like a big challenge. I don't know if we're ready for it. And I think as someone who's like never. I'm like,

I'm pretty sure I'm never want to like have kids. So it's like all fun and games for me. Because it's like probably not going to deal with it. Like I am to parenting what you guys are at H. It's like it's never going to affect me, you know? Like, I don't have to deal with that. Not after this conversation, you opened my eyes. And maybe now I'll be a parent.

So maybe now we all know more about each other's world. I will say, you opened my eyes. And I think not only did you open my eyes and Michael's eyes, you open the audience eyes. And I think that that's really important. And this conversation to me was like so enlightening. Can I just say something else, not to keep interrupting you, but it's like an Aries thing and you get it. We know that now. Oh, trust me.

I get it. I also get it too because I live with one. The amount of times that people. say to me like, oh my God, I want to be your bestie. Like, are we besties now? And then I'm like, yeah. You know, it's like them, so you think you're the first person ever fucking said that to me. You know what I mean? Honestly, after finding out that we are literal birthday twins, I feel like I want to be like literally, I'm like, I think I'm like the godparent of your child for some reason.

We're connected then. I'm feeling this like, are we like, are we like often? We're like a lot as you don't bring the tarantula that you found in your house. No, dad. And it's at the American Museum of Natural History now anyway. It's like pinned up in there in their archives. I mean, that tarantula... You are going to see tarantulas, though. And it's in May and June, and it's a thing and awesome. Like, you just...

You have to, like, prepare. That's a price that we paid for saving taxes. There was a lot of scorpions in Tucson, too, actually. No, oh, but it's different about those, though? Those are dangerous. Well, they won't kill you, but those hurt. You got check your shoes when you put them on. Because those are like, that's like actually Jessica wear.

The small ones, right? The small ones, right? The small ones. Well, those ones are like tan. The southwestern, like, Arizona, New Mexico ones. Those are like tan bark scorpions. And ours are like dark brown. And ours don't sting as bad and they don't hurt as bad and they don't get as big.

Wait, if you get stung by a scorpion and Austin, what do you do? Do you have to go to the doctor? No, unless you're like randomly super allergic to it. No, no, they're not serious. Although, you know, it's disgusting. Snake season, though, is now. I hate fucking snakes so much. That I'll freak out for, although I did see a rat snake in our backyard.

I did. I'm sorry. Well, you've got to be careful. There's actually some poisonous ones right here. But you know, it's even more disgusting. What? Okay, so like I said, we had chickens, right? Yeah.

seconds. Yesterday my husband was hanging up a fly trap in the chicken coop and he looked up and a fucking rat had got stuck in the wire of the chicken coop and its top half of its body, its teeth are like, like it was hanging. It's like top of its body. Do you know why? It's from the water that you're feeding the chickens. So someone told me I wanted a bird bath like for the for the birds to like eat and go in the bath. But the rats use it? The rats use it. The rats use it. And bird baths too. Also, I have a bird bath. So we have to take that bird bath out.

Yeah, the rats love it. And there's a bird bath by the kitchen, uh, the chickens. It's not far. Yeah. It's like, they're in eyesight of each other, but they aren't like right next to each other. But you obviously have water for the chicken.

But this rat got fucking stuck and got like, yeah, there is one in their cage. But the rat got stuck like the fucking hanging halfway out of the fight. It was like the grossest thing you've ever seen. Well, this is one of the most eclectic conversations that we've ever had on this podcast. Could it go down his history is like the most eclectic of the 500. Yeah, it was very diverse. It has to be because it's the first time you've ever met someone that has your exact same birthday in here.

Is it the first time you've ever met somebody? I met other people at the same birthday and not the same year. That's in different level. No, no, I've met to be with the same birthday. They're not the same year. That's weird. That's weird. Hey, can I tell you one more weird thing before you go?

Yes. Okay. Let me tell you something very strange. I have to have a nap after this. I'm like worn out. Maybe you won't think it's strange, but I find it strange. My best friend, Lauren's and Lauren's best friend. Oh, my God.

Michael. This is family tree guys. No, no, no, no. No, no. I need a nap after this sentence. He's about to say. He's our best friend. His dad's birthday is June 30th. And I've known this guy since he were 12. Lawrence, I'm Mr. Trump. His birthday since his dad's birthday is June 30th. My dad's birthday is June 30th. Lauren's dad's dad's birthday is that's fucking weird, right? Okay, that is, that is pretty cool. I've had enough birthday

talk. But isn't that weird? What are the chances that I marry somebody whose dad's birthday's, whose dad's birthday is the same as my dad's birthday's birthday? What are the chances that are both our best friend's dad's birthday. Okay, I got one. I got one. Okay. But this is Stanley Trees that I need you to like pretend to be interested. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. How do I say this so that it's like... The audience has lost us. Okay.

Okay. Both of my grandmothers. Hey? It's kind of sad, but it's interesting. Both of my grandmothers died on their youngest grandchild's birthday. So I'm the youngest of the grandchildren on my dad's side. She died on March 28th. Okay.

Then my mom's mom died on my younger cousin's birthday and she's the youngest on that side. So both my grandmas died on their youngest grandchild's birthday. What are the fucking chances of that? That's very strange, but this is what I'll say. When you guys talk about birthdays, it reminds me. No, it reminds me of when people tell me their dreams. I'm like, uh, you know, I always think they're lying to me. I always think that they're just lying to me, which is what makes me mad about that. I don't need to hear. But what I just said is interesting. It's, you guys, you know what? I'm going to, uh, I have to go to the bathroom. Because I have to go use my scalp oil. Do you find sometimes that you have narcissistic tendencies because sometimes...

You think that was narcissistic because I think that's interesting? No, no. I think I'm saying I will now never forget your birthday because I'll never forget my birthday. Let's just tell each other about like weird dates and our families like three hours. It's like three hours later. Dot, dot, dot. My aunt was born in West Virginia. The two products that I would tell you guys to check out after he just showed me his GVN products are...

J. pronunciation. JVN. You got it. You got it. It's fine. J. Yeah. Oh my God. You got it. It's fine. It's pregnant. It's fine. JV.N. are the pre-washed scalp oil and the instant recovery serum. Those are the two that I'm going to try. You obviously have... I need you to try the embody shampoo and conditioner. No, you can't overwhelm me. I get overwhelmed. I need you to. No, give me two homework assignments. You're bringing a human into the world. I have faith in you that you are capable. Okay. So these two. Okay. I'm going to try the shampoo and... This is what you need. You need this.

body. Okay, I'm going to try the in body. Because you like volume and body, don't you? Yes. Who doesn't? Yeah. It's like, it's because most volumizing and body shampoos and conditioners dry the shit out of your hair. This has ala leaf juice. Your hair does look like that. So it leaves moisture in it, but then it also makes it bigger. Okay. But it leaves it like not tangily

and like nice. Like it leaves it like smooth and nice but big. So the pre-washed scalp oil, the instant recovery serum. And embody shampoo conditioner. Can we do a giveaway for our audience? Yes. Okay. We're going to do a whole line. The whole line. and your book that just came out. Can we do signed copy? Yeah. All you have to do is follow.

Oh, JVN. JVN on Instagram. Yeah. And tell us your favorite part of this episode on my latest post at Lauren Bostic. Where can everyone find you, your line, pimp yourself out. Oh, yeah. At JVN. Yeah, you, I'm going to just step back. You pin yourself up. And then also you can follow the hair line at JVN hair.com. Or who says that at JVN hair on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, all the things we're doing the most over there. And also you could just go on Jonathanveness.com slash book to get my books.

All right, you guys, we are booking guests for the fall, and we would love to know who you want on the show. If you want to win some JVN products, all you have to do is go to my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic and tell me who you want on the show. I'm constantly screenshoting your comments and sending them to my team so we can book the best guests for the show. Definitely let us know.

And also be sure to follow me on TikTok at Lauren Bostick. On that note, we'll see you next time.