The Bossticks - Julia Haart On Her Unorthodox Life, Divorce, Strict Religion, Empowerment, & Her Second Season On Netflix

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

#522: On today's episode we are joined by Julia Haart. Julia is an American fashion designer, entrepreneur, and author. She was the former chief executive officer of Elite Model Management. She is also the star of Netflix's My Unorthodox Life. Julia has been an outspoken advocate for women's rights and has also shared her experience with Orthodox Judaism. Today Julia joins the show to discuss her unorthodox life, her recent divorce, her life experience with "ultra-Orthodox Judaism, female epowerment, and what viewers can expect on her second season of her Netflix series.  To connect with Julia Haart click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential & WOO More Play Woo is sexual wellness brand on a mission to inspire people to have better sex, and more of it. Check out the infamous Woo Vibez vibrator or their brand new Shag Juice at woomoreplay.com and use code LETSSHAG for 20% off. This episode is brought to you by Sakara Sakara is a wellness company that makes thoughtfully curated meals and supplements to be your source for a feel better holiday. Use code SKINNY at checkout to get 20% off at sakara.com/skinny This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat-only therapy sessions. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy & you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/skinny . This episode is brought to you by Nutrafol Nutrafol is the #1 dermatologist - recommended hair growth supplement, clinically shown to improve your hair growth, thickness, and visible scalp coverage. Go to nutrafol.com and use code SKINNYHAIR at checkout to save $15 off your first month's subscription. This episode is brought to you by Hiya Health Hiya vitamins are designed for kids of all ages and sent straight to your door so parents have one less thing to worry about. While most children's vitamins are filled with sugar and can contribute to a variety of health issues, Hiya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy junk, yet it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. Go to hiyahealth.com/SKINNY to receive 50% off of your first order. This episode is brought to you by Kion Take Kion Aminos every day, any time of day, to naturally boost energy, to satiate hunger, and to support fat loss and a toned physique. Go to getkion.com/SKINNY to save 20% of monthly deliveries and 10% off a one-time purchase. Produced by Dear Media

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Let's Shag. That's Woomoreplay.com. Code Let's Shag for 20% off. One of the things I love most about this show is I actually learned stuff on this show. What a big surprise. One of the things that I learned most recently is how severely lacking I was in amino acids. We just did episode 507 with Angelo Keeley talking all about the importance of aminos. I could have these phenomenal guests on that teach us things. And one of those things, like I said, it's all about aminos. Keon Aminos is my fundamental supplement for fitness. that is the one supplement to help my body stay toned all year round. I found for years it was so hard for me to keep muscle mass on. I go to the gym, lift all these weights, try to put muscle on, and then take a few days off and it would just go away. And I realized it's because I wasn't supplementing with aminos. I was eating the right proteins and I was eating all the right foods. But I didn't have aminos in my system, so I would lose muscle mass. So what I do now is I take key on aminos every day, any time of day to naturally boost energy, to satiate hunger, and to support fat loss in a tone physique. This has been a game changer in my physical routine. And the way that I do it is I take Keonamino's first thing in the morning to jumpstart my metabolism

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And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. When Hurricane Sandy happened, I was called into synagogue with a bunch of other women, and we were told that Hurricane Sandy was our fault. It's insane. But the concept was, our wigs were too beautiful. We were still attracting male attention, therefore we were causing men to sin, and that's why God sent Hurricane Sandy to punish us.

and it was our fault. I mean, it sounds comical, but that's literally what I was told. Welcome back to the skimming confidential him and her podcast. Today, we have someone who I very much admire. We have Julia Hart on the podcast. She is an entrepreneur, an author, a mother of four, a fashion designer, and she was the co-owner and former executive chief officer of elite world group. So this episode is intense. And we had only slotted for an hour on her schedule. So we had to sort of cut the interview short. So know when you're listening to this that there's a whole other part.

And we are actually going to go back to New York City and do a part two. I think you're going to be on the edge of your seat during this episode. So just know she's coming back on. Well, this is our mistake. We thought we could cram this full story into an hour. and we just needed more time. So like, again, we're going to do this again. But this woman has an incredible story. And Easter egg here, Lorne, I actually met Julia way before you back in the day. Julie and I are old friends. I'm just kidding, Julia. But we did meet in her days at Elite World Group.

And we had been communicating on the early days of Dear Media back when she was running that business. And it was weird when she came in the studio. I was like, hey, we've met before actually and there's this whole full circle moment. So really enjoyed talking to her. And again, this is a pretty wild story once you get deep into it. So I saw my unorthodox life, which is her show. It's like a reality show that she's on on Netflix. I watched the first season of it and definitely reached out to interview her. We were kind of back and forth. And then I had the opportunity to read her book, Brazen. It's so good. And you can really understand her point of view through the book. I gobbled up the book. If you're looking for a book to read, I would highly recommend going and checking out this book.

I could not put it down. It's so interesting. In fact, it's so, it's, it's, her life is just the craziest life. Anyway, you got to read it. And then we decided to get her on the podcast because she is having her second season of her reality show my unorthodox life on Netflix come out. And I got the opportunity to watch it before it comes out. You got the inside scoop, huh?

And I got the inside scoop. And you guys, it's so good. I think a lot of people who have just like seen the show quickly or preview are judging her story. And what I would encourage you to do before judging a book by its cover is read her actual book or watch the show. Or just listen to this podcast because we cover it all. Or listen to this podcast because we go everywhere. Okay. So Julia was controlled from a young age by ultra-Orthodox Judaism. And she talks about that experience. She talks about a marriage that she was in that would rule her life. And she talks about having four children and what this was like.

She wasn't allowed to sing in public. She wasn't allowed to run in shorts. She wasn't allowed to ride a bike without being covered from her neck to her knee. At one point in her life just reached a breaking point. So she sort of created this double life and we'll get into it. And she actually is in the midst of going through a divorce that's very public. So you'll hear all about this. It's a wild story.

On that note. On that note. On that note. Let's welcome Julia Hart, a really. real boss to the skinny confidential him and her podcast. This is the skinny confidential him and her. Okay, we have Julia Hart in studio. I could not be more excited to interview you.

Thank you. I have stalked you and wanted to interview you so bad because you have such an incredible, colorful, eclectic story. And I've heard you on a lot of podcasts. And I don't feel like when you're on them that people understand. understand your story before the show. And so I wanted to have you on because after reading your book, I was inspired to tell that story. Also, of course, I want to know what you're working on now. But I kind of want you to start at the beginning. Eight kids. Talk to us. Talk to us about that.

Start when you're born. Where are you born? So I was born in Moscow, Russia. I was born to a couple who were very high up in the Communist Party, actually. My father was the head of the Kamsumal, which was the Youth Work Communist Party. And my father and mother, this is pre-Gorbitrov, pre-Pyrochhoff, pre-Pyroestroika. We're talking, you know, literally when it was still the USSR and Brezhnev was running the country. And at the time, there were a lot of civil rights violations against Jews. So the United States government put out a bill call an amendment. It was called the Jackson-Vannock Amendment.

And basically what it did is it sanctioned, countries who mistreated Jews. There were civil rights violations occurred. So what ended up happening is my parents were told to go around Russia and preach communism, right? So during Brezhnev, you weren't actually allowed to travel in the country. You lived in Moscow, you had to stay in Moscow. You had to get permission to go to another city because they didn't want anyone to realize what a mess the country was in. But they thought that my parents were such devoted, communists that they would not, you know, be harmed by seeing the rest of the country. And to the flip side, they would be able to kind of preach communism.

What ended up happening is my parents became completely disillusioned, just became massive anti-communists, and started searching for another ism. And the ism they found was Judaism. They started studying the Torah and keeping Shabbas and learning about Jews. Judaism very secretly because it was illegal at the time to have any religion in Russia. My father was arrested and we were traded for grain. So through the Jackson-Vannigville, because we were what's called Refusenix, we tried to get out of the country and we couldn't, we were one of the Jewish families that were traded for grain. They embargoed grain against the USSR.

And to get the grain, they had to release a bunch of Jews. So we were in that group. So we first went to an intermin camp in Vienna for like six or nine months. And then we went to another internment camp in Rome where I got to meet the book. It was like an actual intermin camp. I mean, you know, I was very, very little so I don't remember a lot. But we lived in fence. Like, you know, you see those camps where I mean, that's how, again, I remember. And of course, I can't call my parents and ask them for any more details because they don't talk to me. But they were, I mean, we lived inside the Vatican like in this area, siphoned off for us. And is this just a holding area

until they figured out where to put you? Exactly. They were trying to figure out what to do with us. So that's why we were first in Vienna and then they sent us to Rome. And then the way that it worked is if you wanted to go to Israel,

we could go to Israel. If you wanted to come to the United States, basically they had to take on the responsibility of your financial, you know, support until you were able to stand on your own two feet. And the U.S. government

put that policy in place? Yes. Okay. What ended up? happening was because they did it in conjunction with this organization called HIAS. And HIAS was the one that organized this entire, let's call it Exodus from Russia of these Jews. And then HIAS placed us with different Jewish communities. So the Jewish community of Austin, Texas decided to adopt my family.

And that's how I came to this country. We live in Austin, Texas. What was Austin, Texas like when you got there? Not the same. No, no. But Texas to me was incredible. I mean, I loved it. Everything was clean. Everything was beautiful. It was always sunshine and I hate the cold. I am anti-cold. You know, I went to this incredible school where we truly, I mean, the level of education there was exceptional. I was learning logarithms, I think, when I was like in fifth grade. So I mean, it was just an amazing place to be. And I had like a normal American childhood. You know, I read Trixie Belden. and watch Nancy Drew, and it was just amazing. And did you recognize right away then, like, the immediate contrast to where you came from?

Oh, absolutely. I mean, I think to me, again, I was such a, you know, I was three when we left. I was five when we got here. My biggest memory of that contrast was between Rome and Moscow. Because by the time I came to the United States, I'd already been living in Rome and in Vienna, so I saw kind of, you know, normal living. But in Rome was the first time I had a pizza, ate a cherry. I'd never seen a fruit.

There were no fruits in Russia, right? It was, I mean, it was really a hunger. People were just trying to get grain. So I'd never seen a cherry. I'd never seen a strawberry. So, like, you know, it was just Russia in my mind, Moscow in my mind, like all my memories of all the pictures we have, it's all great. Everything is great.

Yeah, we just had Paulina Porosakova on the show. What is it? Two days ago. And she was saying like for Christmas they got, she got a banana. And it was a big, it was a big deal. That's a big deal. Yeah. That's a big deal. Like to get a banana was a Christmas prize. Yep. That's what she said. I'd literally never seen a fruit. Wow. So at what point does religion really start to be a huge theme? I mean, it sounds like it was very, very young. But then you're in Austin. When is it something that is in your day to day? So what ends up happening is my parents, we go to Austin, Texas. and there's a Lubavich community there, and Labavich is like one of the Hasidic sects of Judaism. And they find out about my family. And I have what's called Yichus.

Ichus means lineage. Like, you know, go back to the 1800s where, you know, if you were a Lord Blabidi Bluuk and you were, you know, related to the king 900 years ago, you were royalty. So there is Jewish royalty. Okay? It's exactly the same kind of concept. who you come from, who you're born, what your ancestry is determines your status in the community.

Just like until the industrial revolution and the fall of all these empires, if you were born a serf or a slave or a poor person, you stayed that way the rest of your life. There was no upward mobility. And that exists there as well. If you are the great, great grandchild of some very famous rabbi, you know, you're not. You're a blue blood. You are noble. You have eichos. Did you understand all this when you're this? Of course. Of course not. No.

But so anyway, so my parents had tremendous yichos because my father's great, great uncle, was this Lebovich rabbi who it got the, you know, the big Lebovajar rabbi that everybody worships and talks about. He smuggled his mother out of Europe during the war. And he founded Kfarhabad in Paris and Kfarhabad in Israel. And Kfarqabad is like the enclave for Lubavich Khashid. So he founded two of the largest enclaves of Lubavich Khashidim, and he brought out the Lubbqqqqqqqqq. And so because of that, he was a very renowned person in that Hasidic community.

And so when we came to Russia, out of Russia to the United States, the Lubavichers immediately contacted my father. and tried to get close to us. And what ended up happening is, my parents bought it hook, line, and sinker. They loved it. Actually, I should not say that. My mother bought it hookline and sinker.

Yeah, but if the mother buys it and the mother's the puppeteer. That's right. And then she dragged my forefather along with her. Sounds really familiar, to be honest. And, you know, it is very difficult to understand because this is a woman who, from kindergarten through her first PhD, received a gold medal from the USSR

because she never got one question on any test wrong. But what I found sometimes when someone is so intellectual and they're so in the school system, to me it kind of makes sense that the religion was attracted to her. When you're more of an outlier and a rebel sometimes,

I feel like it's not. I'm not surprised about that. Exactly. So she was incredibly smart. I mean, she's by far still today with all the tens of thousands of people I've met. She's still the smartest person I know. By far. She has, when she came to the States, she got her second Ph.D.

So she has one in philosophy and one in mathematics. I mean, this is not a stupid person. And she chose religion where women are not allowed to educate themselves. Go figure that out. I know you don't talk to her now, but did you ever ask her when you were little? Like, what's happening? Why did you do it? Yeah.

No, I never asked because we weren't really supposed to talk about the before. That was something very shameful. But I, so what I'm going to say now is just a thought. It's the only explanation I can understand as to why she made this decision. So, have you ever read the book by Yuval Harari, Homo sapien? Yeah. Okay. Do you know how he quantifies communism as religion?

Sure. Because it is. It says a set of rules. If you do it, you're a good person. if you don't, you're a monster, you're going to help. That's religion, right? When I was here in this country, I went to Brighton Beach. I think I wrote the story in the book.

And I met this guy, this older Russian gentleman, and he was bemoaning how much he misses Russia. And all I'd ever heard about Russia was terrible, you know, bad, bad, bad, bad. So I asked him, what about Russia do you miss? Like, I've never heard anything positive. you know what he said to me? He said, I miss not having to make decisions. Yeah, it's the certainty. Yeah.

It's defined for you. Your life has already mapped out. There's no, there's no wondering what's going to happen. Exactly. And the same exact thing is fundamentalist extremist Judaism. It's exactly the same. Can you, so I think sometimes when you, you for sure know this, when you get pushed back, especially from the Jewish community, there's a ton of anti-Semitism going on right now.

I think like distinguishing between these extreme sex and Judaism in general. Because I think, you know, you're not saying all Jews are like this, right? And I don't want to put words in your mouth. A hundred percent. I think like defining that a little bit because I think it's a sensitive subject. And I think sometimes you get pushback because you had your experience, but then it kind of gets blankedly applied to all Jews. Right. So I want to, it's a very good question.

and also I think it's really important to talk about anti-Semitism. To respond to the first part, I have been very, very careful. And the problem is the pushback comes generally from people who don't actually watch or read what I actually say. That's what ends up happening. So, for example, they'll watch the first episode or the trailer, make certain, decide certain things, and don't watch the rest of the show.

Because if you watch the rest of the show, you see that I not only talk about all other sex, of Judaism. I'm still practicing things of Judaism. My husband, I had a girlfriend at the time, who became his fiance, and I praised her to the skies, because she's a modern Orthodox woman. She doesn't cover her hair, and she has a college degree. And I've always been very careful to say that my issues aren't with Judaism at all. It's about fundamentalism. And the proof that this isn't anything to do with Judaism is those laws exist in every fundamentalist religion. Islam, extreme Christianity. You know, you talk about the Mennonites, the Mormon.

Politics. Politics. It's everywhere. So it isn't anything to do with Judaism. I don't think it's authentic Judaism at all. And the predominant amount of Jews who live around the world do not practice any of these things and are as removed from that as you are. Like everybody, it's a very small group of people who are treating women this way.

And even to that group of people. they're victims too they're doing what they were taught was right there's no desire to harm and hurt you know there's only this desire to do what they think god wants so that's why i always say there are no villains in my story there are only victims i think every person in that community is doing those things because they think it's the right thing to do so what i keep advocating for is to change the laws that comes from a place of love, not hate. And when we talk about anti-Semitism, I mean, I'm the most public Jew there is. If they're coming for anybody, they're coming for me first.

Like, just think about it. You know, to me, anti-Semitism is very frightening. And I see this trend. And, you know, my daughter, who, you know, is very active in a Jewish community and posts a lot and I have both received the most horrific messages on Instagram you could possibly imagine. But Sheva had two pictures sent to her. One is, and it was titled Jewish Baby Carriage. And it was, you know, the structure of a baby carriage with wheels and the handle.

And instead of, you know, the place where the baby rests, it was an oven. Oh, that was terrible. Yeah. And, you know. Can you guys track down the IP for that? That is, that is. It's really horrible. I mean, again, it's all these accounts that have no, you know,

you don't know who's behind them. And then she got another picture. I think it was a Jewish bedroom. No, no, it was a Jewish shower. And it was gas. It was like the gas chamber in Auschwitz. My son got attacked in the street near Columbia University. A guy, at the time, this is last year, he was still wearing his yarmica.

The guy knocked off his yarmulahs, said dirty Jew and ran away. So yeah, we are front and center here. I think, yeah, I think, like, it's good for you to clarify because I think maybe some people in the Jewish community feel like, you know, with the rise of your show and as you've become more prominent and outspoken, with anti-Semitism on the rise as well, they feel like, is this the real time to then also highlight a sect of this community that you maybe disagree with in addition to all the hate that's going on within the community. To me, asking for change is a act of love, right? So, for example, women didn't have the right to vote in this country. And they advocated and fought for, what, 50, 60, 70, 80 years to get the right to vote. Did that mean they hated America? No.

They wanted to change laws to make them more just. What I'm trying to do is make the life of women in that community better. And if all these people read your book, they would know that. And what happens with your book? Because I was just like, I just Googled before I got in the car. I wanted to see like what they're pulling bites without reading the whole book. If you read her book, she talks about throughout the whole story, the theme is her wanting to help women who are feeling oppressed in a community that's extreme. Well, this is happening now more than, I mean, what I'll say in a second is happening more I feel than ever now. It's like when when somebody's saying something that you disagree with or that fundamentally maybe go.

against something that you believe in and you're unable to rebuttal with an argument and address the points they're making what people typically tend to do especially these days is attack the character right it's because it's a way of diminutive and you see this in politics all the time it's like instead of addressing the issue that someone is discussing that may have some validity to it they say it's too heavy of a topic that they don't want to take on and so they say well let's attack the character and diminish and discount whatever the person's saying two things happened recently that really gave me hope the first one was, and I'm going to leave her name out. I have to ask her if I'm allowed to say her name.

She's a very renowned woman. She's one of the leading feminists in this country. I had a fundraiser in my house because, you know, I've never been politically active, but with the repealing of Roe versus Wade. I mean, I've lived in a world where a woman's body is not her own. I am not going back there. So I got very politically active. She came to one of my events, and she walks over to me. And this is a woman who like, you know, Kamala Harris is her close friend. She's got pictures of every president you could imagine on her walls. And she walks over to me and says, hi, and my name is, let's just call her Anna. And she said, you know, you really changed my life. And usually when people say that to me, it means they've left their spouse that was abusive. They've started their business. They've left

some kind of, you know, trauma or difficulty or they, you know, I've had two women say that they chose not to commit suicide after watching my show. So that's kind of what I was expecting. So I said, oh, wow, really, how? Are you ready for this? After watching my show, she converted to Judaism. Converted to Judaism because she thought that the Judaism I portrayed in the show was so beautiful that she wanted to be part of that. So if someone would actually watch the show, they would see that it's incredibly positive to the Jewish community. It shows the vast array of different kinds of Jews and it proves that this has nothing to do with Judaism. I also think, though, there's something about you that grinds, especially men's gears because they don't like when a woman tells it how it is.

And you have masculine energy. You're a spitfire. You say what you want to say, how you want to say, how you want to say it and you, you, I mean, I think maybe since you were feeling oppressed for so long, you're like the complete opposite way now. And I think that men want to put you back in the jack in the box. Okay. First of all, yes to literally everywhere that just came back in your mouth. And second of all, you guys are incredibly perspicacious. I mean, wow, everything you're saying is exactly what's happening. Men are uncomfortable. They're insecure with it. Well, you know, it's funny. I tend to make friends anywhere I go. Being a disruptor is a very, you know, She's lonely place.

I was joking around with, like, we said this all fair, but you and I had actually met before, but not in person on Zoom, like pre-pandemic, early-dermedia days. And, you know, you meet a lot of people on a screen, and you kind of like, especially during that time, you know, like, who was that? And you kind of forget if it doesn't carry on to something else. But I told Lauren after, I'm like, I'm like,

I just met this woman. It was like a really wild experience. And she's in this, like, crazy office. And, like, she runs this big company. And then, like, I told her, she's like, okay, whatever. And then later we saw the show. And I'm like, no, I know the woman. and like it was you.

That's crazy. But like, no, you, you stand out in a way because I think in a world where there's a lot of people that are so filtered and held back, you cut right to the chase. You cut to the point. You say what you want to say. And it stands out. But any change that has happened for women, I guarantee you there was a Julia Hart crusading that.

And so anyone who is wondering about you, I would encourage them to read your book so they can really understand. where you're coming from. So Kara is a godsend. It is a wellness company that makes thoughtfully curated meals and supplements to be your source for a feel better holiday. I am a huge fan of this brand. I actually interviewed the founders so long ago. I want to say like four years ago. If I was going to tell you to start with one thing, you know what I'm going to say because I can't stop talking about it. I would tell you to start with their detox drops. They're like chlorophyll drops. And then they also have beauty drops. And then if I were to pick a company that has,

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For years, I feel like there was a missing mechanism in therapy. And there were so many friction points to make it so difficult for the patient to actually go and find a therapist. You had to go get in your car, normally from word of mouth. Then you had to drive all the way to this clinician's office, sit, interview with someone. Then maybe it's not the right fit. You got to leave or you had to go sit in a waiting room with all these other patients, very uncomfortable wasting all this time.

And it's just this very uncomfortable procedure to go and share the heaviest things that are on your heart. And it was just really unproductive, in my opinion, until you actually potentially got with a therapist that actually could help you talk through any of the issues you were going through, which is why I love this platform so much. Now more than ever, it's so important to talk to someone about anything you're going through. We've learned on this show the importance of sharing your thoughts, sharing your feelings, getting it off your chest, getting it out there, which is again, why we love this platform so much. BetterHelp has therapists that are trained to help you figure out

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at BetterHelp.com slash Skinny. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Skinny. I want to go back to when you were in Austin and when you're in high school. In our high school, we're smoking cigarettes, we're smoking weed out of an apple, we're having sex, blowjobs, the whole thing. That wasn't your experience. What was high school like? Are you sneaking around before you're married? For one second, you know, I said the two really crazy things happened.

One was this woman converting. The other was, again, I've been involved in politics, and I went to this other political event. And there was this Hasidic leader. who, you know, is very involved in politics. And, you know, that community is very involved in politics here in New York especially. And, you know, he had the whole payas and the strimal, the, you know, the fur hat, the whole nine yards. And he walks over to me and I'm like, oh, no, I'm going to get yelled at that I'm a terrible person and blah, blah.

And I'm like, oh, great. He walks over to me. And he says, Julia, my wife and my daughters, thank you. And walked away. I was like, what just happened? But second, it just gave me hope. Maybe my message is getting through. Maybe there will be change in that community.

If a famous Hasidic man can walk up to me and say, my daughter and my wife thanks you, that says a lot. Well, especially, like you said, coming from the man. Yeah. I mean, I was blown away. I could. And just, it made me, it just gave me strength to keep. fighting, to keep talking to, you know, to your point, you know, if you look at the suffragettes, they just, they weren't just accused of being liars and thieves and terrible people and

suck seductresses and all those, you know, terms that people love to throw at women. They were arrested. They were imprisoned just for asking for rights. And that's all I'm doing. So to your point of what high school was like, I want to actually read you something that someone just said me. I didn't have an education, right? my high school education was abysmal. Its real sole purpose was to make us into good wives and mothers.

And when I said how terrible my education was and that I was not equipped to handle the outside world, I got attacked about how many people go to college from Base Yaakov and how wonderful it is. And then the other day, someone who's in the community and wants it to change, sent me this. It's just unbelievable. The gist of it is basically the school puts out this letter saying, we see this trend for girls starting to go to college. This is not an acceptable trend for Base Yaakov. Our daughters are supposed to be wives and mothers. They're supposed to only learn from this religious institution.

And we do not want any girls coming out of Basiakob and going to college, even if it's a Jewish college that teaches Jewish subjects. It doesn't matter. Girls should not be going to college. And then it says, if your daughter is in college, please, if your daughter intends or contemplates going to college, please immediately contact the school or otherwise please sign that your daughter will not be going to college. I've got to find this for you, but you talk and I'll find.

Like myself who, I mean, I guess it would probably be fair to say Lauren can validate this that I was a habitual rule breaker basically since I've been out of the womb. And I've never understood like, you know, these kind of, when I hear these stories, I I always wonder like, well, why can't you just like, tell everyone to F off and go do what you want? Like, what is, like, what is the, what is the whole? It's Stockholm syndrome. Yeah, like, what is the, what is the, from your book, you're, you're completely immersed in it. I found it. I found it. There it is. Okay, Bace Yaakov, right, the school I went to.

In the last years, it's becoming increasingly prevalent for high school girls to be preparing themselves and working towards a college degree while in high school. This is not the reason, Klauasraal, that's the Jewish people, have established Baseyakov's school, that's the girls' high schools, for Beno Sisrael, for daughters of Israel. It is not in line with a Baysak of Chinuk. It is not in line with our education for girls to go to college. A Torah Chinach, meaning studying religious stuff, does not mean the subjects they are learning. It means they are connecting and drawing life from one source only, which is Torah, meaning they should only be studying from us and from nowhere else.

It was established to give our Bnoss Israel a direct connection to the Torah, and it was to be to be a become the sole source of their learning and connection to life. And then it goes on and on and all. The fact that college courses may include religious subjects or subjects they've already learned does not change the fact that they are in college. For all purposes, once your daughter has connected herself to college, she has disconnected herself from being connected and fully connected to her Torah learning to that and only that, which is her only source of life. If your daughter is presently preparing for or taking any college courses or Please make an appointment to discuss this with us.

And then they have little boxes that you have to check and sign. My daughter is not taking any college courses or preparatory tests. And then you have to check my daughter is taking college courses or preparatory tests. I would like to set up an appointment. I'm available. That should tell everybody everything they need to know. I didn't lie. I didn't exaggerate.

Bees Yaakov trains you to be mothers and housewives. And that's it. And they do not want you to get a high. education. He can't believe this because you can't believe it because you're not seeing it. And you're going to say, oh, you said earlier, why can't you leave? Because it's community. So to answer your question, which is a great question, how do you keep people in line? Societal pressure? So, for example, you know, like you've got Bridgeton and you've got all these other shows, right? We also just saw it for the last two years. Exactly. But like look at Bridgeton, right? If your family's reputation is ruined,

no one will marry into your family, no one will do business, you'll be shunned, isolated, and ignored. That's my community. If you don't follow the rules, no one will marry your children. And I guess if you're in that community so deeply, you feel like there's no other community

that'll accept you. That's right. I mean, because again, you're not equipped to handle the outside world. The reality is that most women who come out of the community do not survive. Many of them commit suicide.

They become drug addicts. And whereas my community uses that as proof that the people who are leaving are somehow flawed. That is absolutely wrong because the reality is we are 18th century women and throwing an 18th century woman

into a 21st century world is one of the most disorienting, discombobulating, difficult things you could possibly do. You know, there's that, I can never remember the name, the movie with Hugh Jackman and Meg Ryan

where he falls through a wormhole in time. He's like a 17th century or 18th century inventor who invented the elevator and he falls through a wormhole in time and lands in the 21st century. And he's like walking around and everything is unfamiliar to him. That's what it's like. I mean, you know, people say, oh, but you read books, you did this. Yes, if you read my book, you'll see the trajectory. I did start watching movies. I did started educating myself when I decided I wanted out. But you guys deep sea dive? Never deep, but I've been diving.

You've been diving. So, you know, to go deep, you need years of training. I think there's only a couple of thousand people in the world. Acclimated to the pressure, learned. Yeah, because the pressure is insane. And I think there's only a couple thousand people in the world who could dive under 50 meters. So the example I always give people is. So when I decided I wanted to leave, I spent eight years educating myself, watching movies, reading books.

But if you watch a thousand movies on deep sea diving, and read a thousand books on deep-sea diving. Can you actually deep-sea dive? Can you? No, you can't. That's what it's like. It's a entirely different ecosystem. You could watch about it, you could read about it,

but you have to actually live it to understand it. And I had not lived a 21st century life. I didn't have a boyfriend. I didn't go to prom. I'd never been to a bar. I'd never been on a date with someone I chose. When is the first time you actually went on a proper date? I was 42 years old

And Michael, we're not even there yet You don't even understand You also have to tell us Like specific details How you couldn't show certain things Skirt lengths explain all of that So in my world A woman is responsible for a man's behavior

Okay, so if he sins it's on her So meaning if she wears a skirt That's a little bit too short And the man wants to Touch her tit Yeah It's her fault Or what if I go out and, you know, misbehave in some kind of way outside of the house?

That's your fault as well. Yes. As long as it's coming, meaning if I attract your attention and you have any kind of illicit thought about me, that's on me. To give you a really big example, and then I'll go smaller. When Hurricane Sandy happened, I was called into synagogue with a bunch of other women. And we were told that Hurricane Sandy was our fault. What? Mm-hmm.

You thought it was the weather. you were wrong, it was my Shaitel. I'm not trying to laugh, but like... It's insane. But the concept was our wigs, and again, we're already covering our hair. We're already wearing wigs, right? Our wigs were too long. In our marriage, I blame Lauren for a lot.

I didn't know I can blame it for the weather. Now, give me some ideas. So that's what we were told is that because our wigs were too beautiful, we were still attracting male attention, therefore we were causing men to sin, and that's why God's sent Hurricane Sandy to punish us. And it was our fault. I mean, it sounds comical, but that's literally what I was told. My friend in the community sent me this video.

This rabbi is going on and on because even he was shocked. So he's a more modern rabbi. And he couldn't believe this. His daughter comes home from school. I think she was not, she's nine years old. Daughter comes home from school, nine years old and says, hey, Abba, we learned in school that we're not allowed to walk outside with wet hair. a nine-year-old can't walk outside with wet hair.

Why? So he asks her why. And you ready for this? Because if a man will see a young woman with wet hair, he may think, where did she get the wet hair? The shower. And then he may think of her naked. And then he will have bad illicit thoughts.

This is what she's fighting against. Just if anyone's unclear, this is what she's fighting against. This is so outrageous you can't even believe. believe it. Listen, I don't need you to have wet hair for me to think those thoughts about it. Yeah, but that's I mean, that is like, it's as someone that's very much an overshare my entire life and beat to the tune of my own drum and do what I want, that is crazy to me. It is. And your life has to be so small because, for example, you have to be covered head to toe, right, because your body could attract a man. You can't sing in public because your voice could attract a man. You can't dance in public

because you can't do what I'm doing. Be forward facing in any way, shape, or form because men may see you, have bad thoughts, and then you are the sinner. And you have to wear a wig, right? You have to wear a wig once you're married. No person is allowed to see your hair uncovered. And that's the law. Now, there is something called a chumra, which is like an addition to the law, like an added,

you know, if you really want to be good, right? And this particular chumrah, this particular edition, we were taught that if we do this particular edition, we will have righteous children. And if we don't, our children will be born flawed. And what was it? That the walls of your own house should not see your nakedness. Meaning, even when you're sleeping, you need to be covered, head to toe, hair covered, body covered. The walls of your house should never see your naked. You have to be covered 24 hours a day every day of your life until the day you die. Why? So that a man

shouldn't have a thought about you. Can I ask you maybe an ignorant question? Because I think it's fair to say. Judaism in itself is a beautiful religion with Todd has a ton of great morals and I think sets a lot of great examples. Like what is the history of this particular sect? Like how did this come about? Is this how this is, I'm assuming it's not how it started, but like how does this? Favor a question ever. So I talk about it in my book because I did have that dichotomy because If you look at the actual concepts and precepts of Judaism, they're beautiful. Loving kindness. You know, we learn our rights, not through a bill of rights, but through a bill of responsibilities.

You learn what you're responsible for before you learn what's coming to you. So the focus is always on your own self-personal responsibility, which I think is beautiful. In Halloween, you go around and you trick or treat and you ask for candy. On Purim, you go around and you give candy. there's always this focus and this emphasis on giving. When my brother was killed when he was five years old, the way the community came together and took care of my family. I mean, we had, you know,

some of the wealthiest men in the community sweeping my parents' floor. You know, there's so much kindness there. There's so much community, charity. There's this whole thing about Rofei-Hollum that you're supposed to visit the sick. So there's this massive movement of people who come on the daily and visit complete strangers to me. There's just such an emphasis on giving,

on, you know, being a kind and good person. So how do you meld that with these laws that keep women down? And that was a really difficult question that I had. How can you connect something that is intrinsically magnificent to something that caused me to almost want to, you know, kill myself and that keeps women down? And it really bothered me until I read a book about the six inventions that changed, that shaped history. It's a very small book, really brilliant.

And it brought up this concept, which is a scientific concept, but I extrapolated it into religion because it's the only thing that makes sense to me. So did you ever hear of The Adjacent Possible? Okay. So the adjacent possible is this scientific theory that explains why inventions always occur in clusters. So for example, when Nikola Tesla is inventing electricity in Europe, Thomas Edison is doing it here. When Alexander Graham Bell invented, was inventing the telephone in America, there was Marconi in Italy developing the telephone. And there is no exception to that rule. For some reason, throughout history, all inventions occur in cluster.

All of a sudden, five people invent the same thing. And so the theory of the adjacent possible well elucidates why that's so. And what it says is, we as humans are only capable of comprehending that which is adjacent next to our current possible, what we know and understand in our world. So what does that mean? That means in 11th century, they could not have imagined a television. Because first, electricity had to be created, olfactory lenses had to be created, photography had to be created.

It was so far removed from their current possible as to be unimaginable. But once something is invented, now it becomes adjacent to the current possible. And then all of a sudden, 10 people have the same idea. So that's why inventions are current clusters, because we can't conceive of something that is so far away from us, just like they couldn't envision airplanes. You wrote about that. book. I did. I remember that. Yes. And so what you're, how are you saying that applies to religion? I know you

said it in the book, but can you say it again? Yes, absolutely. Because I think it is a very important point because let me be very clear. Judaism is beautiful. It's genuinely beautiful. I think my, my takeaway is, okay, let's just imagine for a minute that there is God and that he did come down to some manifestation, to humanity, to teach us right and wrong. Okay? These deep, complex, moralistic rules that pretty much all of the world follows, you know, and we are the, you know, the parents of every monotheistic religion that there is, right? And so if you look at that, let's think about the life that they lived at the time. You were a woman alone. A marauder was going to scoop you up. A wilder. A wilder was going to scoop you up. A wild animal would eat you, coming, an army that was going through would rape you. As a woman in

those days, by yourself, you were in danger. Women did not lead anything. They did not run anything. They did not own anything. And so when God gives these big, giant, esoteric, you know, incredibly beautiful, moralistic codes, what do the people have to do? They have to translate it into actions. to set of rules. And those rules were connected to the world that they lived in. In Judaism, they always say, oh, but three million people received the Torah. That's actually not accurate, right? Because even in my religious teachings, even in my extremely orthodox school, what we were taught is that everyone in the, all the Jews, three million people heard, I am God, and do not make anyone else your God. The first two commandments. And then they couldn't handle God's

presence, they all died. God had to resurrect all of them. And so they went to Moses and it's in the Bible that they go to Moses and say, we can't hear the word of God. You go up to heaven and come down and give us the laws. Right. Very convenient. So in the end, it's still one guy telling the world what God says. Okay. And think about the time that they lived in. In the time that they lived in, just like they couldn't imagine a television or an airplane, they couldn't imagine a world where women could live alone and be safe. where women would be leaders and captains of industry and run countries. It was as unimaginable to them as everything else in our world, right?

It was too far removed from their adjacent possible. So they built their laws, their rules on what was considered moralistic and normal for their time. In their time, women did not live the law. Women were covered because if you weren't covered, someone would come and rape you. Right? So that's the problem. Every other religion has realized, oh, you have to evolve at the times. Exactly. Except for this sect. This sect still keeps those laws, even though the world in which these laws were practiced is so far different from the world in which these laws were made as to have been unimaginable to the people who made it. Let me tell you about my hair shedding, because after I had my first baby, it shed. It shed in the shower. It shed on my silk pillowcase. It shed everywhere in the car, all the things. And there were a couple things that really helped. One of them talked about it all the time on this show is Nutraful. This is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement. And here's the thing. It's clinically shown to improve your hair growth, thickness, and visible scalp coverage. They really hit all the things. They target like thinning, stress.

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month subscription. This is their best offer anywhere and it's only available to U.S. customers for a limited time. Plus, you get free shipping on every order. Get $15 off at neuterful.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code skinny hair. Every single morning, my daughter says the same thing. She says, only Uno. And that means one vitamin in her language. That means she wants one vitamin. She knows she's only allowed to have one.

She loves them so much, and they are by Haya health. And we've made it like it's her morning routine. She knows she's going to get her Haya vitamin. And I'm obsessed with this for her. because it's zero sugar and zero gummy junk. So many of them are filled with sugar. But Haya is non-GMO. It's vegan.

It's dairy-free. It's allergy-free. It's gelatin-free, nut-free, and everything you can imagine. And it's designed for kids of all ages and comes straight to my door. And I'm all about this because it's filled with 15 essential vitamins, minerals, including vitamin D, B12, C, zinc, folate, to name a few. And everything is all about, like, they designed this to support immunity, energy, brain function, mood, concentration, teeth, bones, and more. So I really like this brand. This is the brand that I've

told all my friends about. My daughter loved taking the stickers out of the first order and like decorating. They just get it. The whole brand gets it. And we've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best-selling child's vitamin. You're going to receive 50% off your first order. You guys, 50% off. To claim this deal, you must go to Hayahealth.com slash skinny and you should know that this deal is not available on their regular website. So you're going to go to H-I-Y-A-H-E-A-H-E-A-L-T-H-H-T-H-T-H-T-H-T-H-C-T-C-E-L-T-H-E-L-T-H-E-L-T-H-E-E-L-T-H-E-L-E-T-E-L-E-T-E-L-E-T-E-L-E-T-E-E-L-E-T-E-E-L-E-E-T-E-E-L-E-E-E-L-E-E-E-E-L-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- different thing. One, people should watch the first season and see, and like, obviously, you've just dove deeper into a lot of the stuff that you are articulating in the show, but this second season, I feel like is a completely kind of like different look, different life, a lot of the same

stuff still going on, but you're in a different period now. Oh, yes. You know, it's funny because, I mean, not funny, like, ha ha, funny. We're like, oh, my God, I can't believe this is happening to me again, kind of funny. So, you know, I thought in this world, in the 21st century world, right, not my old world, but in my new world, that women would be treated equally to men. I really did. I genuinely believe that. And this year has proven me wrong in so many ways that it's basically been drummed into my head, that we are in big trouble. First, there was the repealing of Roe versus Wade. And then there was what happened to me. The reality is, let's just look at facts. I became CEO of a modeling agency that was valued at $70 million,

right? I have the documentation. Within two and a half years from April, 2019 until September 2021, Jeffreys Bank valued us at $1.1.1 billion. That is $70 million to $1.1 billion through COVID. Without a dollar of investment, I built avatars and Metaverse in 2019 when no one knew what I was talking about. And in fact, we were in the process of taking the company public. I wasn't even allowed to put it in the presentation. The bankers were like, Julia, no one's going to know what you're talking about. That's when we connected.

That's right. Nobody understood what I was even saying. So I built Avatars and Metaverse in 2019. We created a digital, an entire digital structure. I signed on because I realized that the talent is the media. They have the audience. So it's not about the runway or the billboard of the magazine. It's all about the digital, the digital presence.

They're the new NBC, CBS, ABC. they have the audience. Say that a little louder a few more times. So to me, I realized that what we are is actually a media company. And we have data of over 2.2 billion viewers. And so I started aggregating that data, utilizing it to help brands sell their product to people who would actually like to buy it. And we created this entire global media company.

And then, you know, February 3rd, so Sylvia and I, our plan was I asked for a divorce in January of 2021. By April, he was basically out of the house. He rented a place in Mexico, which our company pays for, thank you very much, and basically moved out of the house because the idea was he said, let's not get divorced until we go public. It will mess with, you know, people don't like it when the founders are fighting, when mommy and daddy are fighting.

Let's wait until we go public. But then there's Amicron came and so just things got delayed. and I just did not want to be married anymore. So we decided we're just going to get the divorce. And the plan was February 14th, we were going to announce to the world on Valentine's Day that even though we're getting divorced, we're keeping the holding companies together, we're staying business partners, everything's going to be copacetic. We just don't want to be married anymore.

We have a different kind of love. And then February 3rd, I find out that a million and a half has been siphoned out of our shared account into this business called SHS, which he found. with our money and then took out a freedom holding. When I found that out, I was like, I'm done. I can't. I want a divorce and I don't want to be your partner anymore. I've had to know.

Thursday and Friday, he sends the time trying to convince me to stay his partner. And I still say no. And again, I have all of this evidence. On Monday, I'm a thief and I'm a liar and I'm a monster and this. From Friday, please, please stay my partner to Monday, you're a thief and a lie. And I thought, and then he went out and said, I stole this. and I did that. And I thought to myself, there's no one going to believe that.

The man was married to me. Is he literally think that anyone's going to believe that he didn't see my closet? He didn't know I was just such an absurd accusation. Not to mention the fact that my name is not on a single piece of paper to a single auditor, to a single accountant. Never had I once, once in the company said this should be paid by that and this should be paid by that. Never. I would send everything in.

They would decide where it went. That was it. And it's provable. So I genuinely thought that people would laugh. When he called me a seductress that I seduced him into hiring me, and the funny thing is, we met for 45 minutes. What kind of seduction did I manage in a 45-minute meeting? I don't know if you could do that.

I'd want you to talk to my wife. Right, exactly. I'm sorry. That makes me an amazing person. And how did I seduce him? let's think about, and even the court that decided against me, acknowledge this, he did promise me 50-50 when we got married, right? And I found out January 2021 that there was one share less.

That means in the beginning of our marriage, before we were fighting, when it was all love and la-di-da, he had no problem cheating to me. And telling me I own 50% while... It was 51-49. No, no, I didn't even have that. I didn't have 51-49. I just had the common shares. I found out that I didn't have the, that I didn't, I wasn't actually an equal partner in 2020.

Literally almost a year later when we started the going public process, I didn't want to work with someone. I was like, well, we're partners. I don't want to work with them. We can't work with them. He's like, no, actually you aren't, you don't actually own any piece of the company because, yes, I gave you 50 shares. But then I issued myself all these other shares that negated your shares and made them completely not valuable. And he's admitted to that. Like, that's out there.

So when he was massively in love with me, he had no problem pretending that I was part owner, accepting all my work without a salary. I never got a salary because I thought I was co-owner. Taking my work, I worked 20 hour days. I built the company, meanwhile, all the while knowing that I don't own a piece. Right. And that's when I found out about in 2020. That's when he said, okay, let me give you the shares. I promised you. That's my seduction. I seduced him to what? Cheat me. that I would work for free for all these years and get nothing out of it? Does that sound like I'm the seductress or he is?

Obviously, he had many other successful ventures outside. No, he only had the only, he was very successful in selling fast web. Okay, yeah, yeah, that's right. Right? And then every other business since then has failed. Which happens to a lot. Babel gone, $150 million down the tube.

Over $500 million lost at La Perla sold for one euro. You know the next company he invested in $17 million. They threw him out. He had to relinquish his shares. He has not had a single successful business in the last 11 years, not one. He made 700 some odd million euros, which translated into a billion dollars, and he lost it all. When I married him, he had $8 million in his bank account. That's it.

Julia Hart, you've got a lot going on. I'm going to harass you again, though, to come back. Just tell us where to find you, where to find the show. Please come and watch season two on December 2nd, on Netflix, My Unorthodox Life. And please pick up a copy of Brazen, which is sold in any bookstore or Amazon. Wait, don't go. Do you want to win some Woo More Play Shad Juice? All you have to do to win this water-based lubricant is go and follow at Woo More Play on Instagram and tell us your favorite part of this episode with Julia on my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic.

I personally am such a fan of Julia. I think she's a boss and I'm so excited to interview her again. We need to do a part two. All right. Thanks so much for listening you guys and we'll see you next time. One of the things I love most about this show is I actually learned stuff on this show. What a big surprise. One of the things that I learned most recently is how severely lacking I was in amino acids.

We just did episode 507 with Angelo Keeley talking all about the importance of aminos. I get to have these phenomenal guests on that teach us things. And one of those things, like I said, it's all about aminos. Key on Aminos is my fundamental supplement for fitness. That is the one supplement to help my body stay toned all year round. I found for years it was so hard for me to keep muscle mass on. I go to the gym, lift all these weights, try to put muscle on, and then take a few days off and it would just go away.

And I realized it's because I wasn't supplementing with aminos. I was eating the right proteins and I was eating all the right foods. But I didn't have aminos in my system, so I would lose muscle mass. So what I do now is I take Keon Aminos every day, any time of day to naturally boost energy, to satiate hunger and to support fat loss in a tone physique. This has been a game changer in my physical routine. And the way that I do it is I take Keonamino's first thing in the morning to jumpstart my metabolism and then use it as a snack and any time I have a craving for something sweet. This again, it curbs the sweet. It satiates my appetite. And I feel like it makes me also drink

more water. So again, just really doing a lot of great things with the body all the time. It's backed by over 20 years of clinical research, highest quality ingredients, no fillers or junk, undergoes rigorous quality testing and tastes amazing with natural flavors every time. If you want to learn more, I highly suggest you listen to that episode, 507 with Angelo. And as always, we have a special offer for you. You can now save 20% on monthly deliveries and 10% on one-time purchases. Just go to get ki-K-on.com slash skinny. That's g-et-k-i-o-n.com slash skinny to get my fundamental supplement for fitness, Keon Aminos. Enjoy.