The Bossticks - Kristin Cavallari Pt. 2 On How To Build A Career, Life After Reality TV, Entrepreneurship, & Life Advice

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

#403: On today's episode we are joined again by Kristin Cavallari. Kristin is a former reality star turned entrepreneur, author, and mother. Today Kristin returns to the show to discuss life post reality TV, what it takes to be an entrepreneur, and how her career has opened new doors along the way.  To connect with Kristin Cavallari click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Bliss Bliss is a clean, cruelty-free, planet-friendly skincare brand on a mission to empower everyone to achieve a higher state of happy, one self-care moment at a time. They started in a spa, and now use that skincare expertise to make transformative–and affordable–products so everyone can experience the confidence that comes from healthy, glowing skin. Shop Bliss Youth Got This Retinol Serum & Moisturizer at Amazon This episode is brought to you by Sundays Dog Food If you're like us, your dog is part of your family. They might even sleep in your bed! So why are you feeding them burnt kibble?Why not feed them food that actually tastes good to them and is super healthy for them? We've worked out a special deal for our listeners. Receive 35% off your first order. Go to www.sundaysfordogs.com/skinny or use code skinny at checkout.  This episode is brought to you by Framebridge Framebridge makes it easier and more affordable than ever to frame your favorite things-without ever leaving the house. Add a gallery wall to your home office or send the perfect gift. From art prints and diplomas to the photos sitting on your phone, you can Framebridge just about anything. Go to www.framebridge.com and use promo code SKINNY to save an additional 15% off your first order.  This episode is brought to you by Living Proof Their award-winning, patented formulas are proven to bring out your brilliant, healthy hair and are never filled with harmful chemicals-no silicones, sulfates, parabens or gluten. And never tested on animals. Put the science to work and unlock your hair's full potential with Living Proof and visit www.livingproof.com/skinny and use code SKINNY to get 10% off your first purchase.  Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a dear media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

But I just think, I don't know. I'm lucky to be in a position where I don't need to be doing this stuff. And to be honest, like I said, for the last three years or so, I worked so fucking hard that I got burnt out. Where now I'm just trying to take everything off of my plate. And in the last year and a half, I'd say I've had way more fun than I have in forever. I'm enjoying life a little bit more. I'm seeing friends more. Welcome back to the skinny confidential him and her show.

That clip was some of our guests of the show today, superstar powerhouse, second time on the skinny confidential show. So Kristen Cavalieri, welcome back. We had fun with this one. We actually flew out to Nashville and recorded this with Kristen in her home, beautiful home. Thank you again for the hospitality, Kristen. And really enjoyed this conversation. I think it's different than what you've heard from her before. A lot of entrepreneurial advice. Obviously, she's done an incredible job building the businesses that she's built. She's had a career with a lot of longevity and still growing. So there's a lot of gems in here for anyone listening in any stage of their life. We wanted to go a different direction with her too. I feel like so many people are all about the gossip with her, but they don't really take

time to really hear how entrepreneurial she is. She is a sharp cookie. She is smart. She is savvy, and she's a true boo entrepreneur. So just to give you a little bit of background here, we also did an episode with her probably two years ago. And it's episode 111. And we talked parenting routines, reality television, and being married. In this episode, we talk all about business. You get a little juice, reality television, all the things. I think you guys are like this episode. And if you want to know Kristen's skincare routine, I interviewed her for my podcast, a limited series with Dear Media, get the fuck out of the sun. So you can just listen to Kristen all day. You can listen to this episode, then episode 111, and then you can go to Get the Fuck Out of the Sun on Spotify and listen to my podcast with her. On that note, Kristen Cavalieri, she's an American television personality, fashion entrepreneur, author, mother of three.

She has uncommon beauty and uncommon James. And she rose to fame in 2004 as a cast member on Laguna Beach. Who remembers? I loved Laguna Beach. Laguna Beach was everything. It was like my favorite show ever. And then you know her from the hills and very Cavalry. We also interviewed her best friend Justin Anderson. He will be on soon. Stay tuned. And you can listen to him on Get the Fuck Out of the Sun too. With that, Kristen, welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. You out of all the people that were in my book were the most professional at sending an answers. And I interviewed 150 people. You would not fucking believe how difficult it was to get 100, 50 answers from all these different moving parts. And you sent me your Google Doc with your

high-res photos with your questions that were thick and specific. And I just have to say, I was so impressed. I said to Michael, this is why you're so successful at what you do. You're professional. You were timely. And I think that I wanted to have you back on the podcast because I want to do an episode that sort of showcases your entrepreneurial journey because I don't think it's talked about enough, especially in the media. I love you for that. Yeah, that's a route that I would really love to start going down more. But unfortunately, just because of my position, everyone always wants to talk about the gossip or whatever is going on. People would be like, ask me one question about Uncommon James. And then it just turns into like all this other bullshit. And I'm like,

wait, hang on a second. So I really appreciate that. Thank you. I guess I want to go back to before Lugina Beach. Okay. When you were little, you were living in Colorado. Tell us about if there with things that you did, like, I don't know, a lemonade stand or something that you look back and you're like, oh my God, I was such an entrepreneur. So, I mean, of course I had lemonade stands and all of that good stuff. But I think really what happened for me was, so I moved around a lot when I was young. I was born in Colorado. Then I moved to Connecticut and then I moved back to Colorado, a suburb of Chicago, and then Laguna Beach. So the reason being because of my parents' divorce, my dad's job early on, so it was just all over the place. So it wasn't until, like,

junior high high school that I really started to kind of understand money and that I wanted to make my own money. And I really credit that to my, when I lived with my mom, I love my mom, she's my best friend today. She was cheap as hell, drove me crazy. She never gave me any money. And then I would go out and visit my dad who would just throw money at me. So it was very different worlds. And when I was in high school, my stepmom at the time and my dad, they were 20 years apart. It was a very weird dynamic and money was very strong. strange. And what I learned early on was that I wanted to make my own money for a few reasons. One of them being, I saw money as freedom, as independence. I never wanted to rely on anybody for money.

And I remember my dad, like, slipping me money in an envelope so that my stepmom wouldn't know. And I was just remember thinking, this is so dysfunctional and so fucked up. I can swear on this point. No, absolutely not. I have like the worst, the worst trucker mouth. But so I just decided early on, I'm going to make my own money. So when I was a freshman in high school, I went and got a job. And my dad sat me down and he was like, hey, listen, you know you don't have to work. And I was like, no, I know that, but I want to work. Because also, I don't want to have to ask you for money or I don't want you question what I'm spending my money on. And also, I kind of just want to cut myself off from you.

So that was how I've always came to be just always wanting to work and always, I just always wanted to be independent and have my own freedom. So when Laguna Beach comes around, did you know being so young that you could use it to your advantage when it came to monetizing and being an entrepreneur? Was that, like, not even in your head at first? Yeah, it wasn't even in my head at first. And I think none of us really knew what Laguna Beach was going to turn into. I mean, if you remember MTVs,

they did a show about, what was it called? Real world? Road rules? Well, those shows I loved, too. But, like, true life. That's what it was, true life. So I sort of thought, like, okay, it's like, you know,

living in the real O.C., a true life thing. We had no idea it was going to turn into what it turned into. And also, the pilot that we shot was such a watered down version of what it ended up being. because they had to get all of the parents on board and get all of us on board. So we're like,

yeah, this is sweet. You know, sure, no problem. And so I was just sort of going along with it. But I did know that if I'm going to do it, let's have fun with it. Like, I knew to bring my A game. I knew early on, even when we filled out these packets, like the questions were, you know, who do you think is going to be homecoming queen? And I said, I don't know and I don't care as long as it's not Lauren Conrad. Like, I knew to bring the drama. I knew how to like spice things up and like get people to talking. And so that part was just sort of innately in me, I guess. I don't know. When did you start to kind of make your own money when it came to being on Laguna Beach? Like the show obviously brought in an income. But when were you like, okay, I'm going to do this next and I'm going to

do this next. I know you did acting. Like, could you talk about a little bit before Uncommon James? Yeah. So we really made no money on Laguna Beach, to be honest. The first season, I think we made like $2,000. That's bullshit. You should be getting residuals for rerun. And we don't make a panic. Nobody was paying anybody back then, right? No. And honestly, I would have done it for free. I remember when they told us we were going to make $2,000.

I was like, oh, hell yeah. Who just told us this the other day? Somebody was. Spencer? No, Spencer, yes. Well, we can get into that. But there was somebody else that did it. Oh, the housewife that we just did in New York.

Jill. Jill Zerrin said, there's no money in the beginning of House. Nothing. She did say that. Nothing. Nothing. And then I think the second season we made more. I mean, I know we made more, but it still wasn't much.

So then, yeah, so I graduated high school. So I did two seasons of Laguna Beach. I graduated high school. And I decided, all right, you know, I got a manager at the time and an agent. And I did the whole thing. And I thought, well, I'm going to act. And I'll just see what happens. I'm going to move to L.A.

And I'm just going to ride this wave. So I actually, the first thing I booked was a show called Get This Party Started. And I hosted it. Traveled around the country. It was on UPN back in the day. I don't think anyone remembers that network anymore. But it was fun. And it was a great introductory for me into the entertainment world.

And then I consistently worked. I never did some amazing movie. I mean, I did work with some really cool people, but nothing that ever, you know, was a huge deal. Who was the coolest? Well, I did a movie called Spring Breakdown, and that was Amy Polar and Parker Posey and Will Arnett and just really, really great, cool people.

So that was really fun. I did with, let's see, the first movie I did was called Fingerprints with Lou Diamond Phillips. Do you guys remember him? And then I worked with Rumor Willis and one and Rob Schneider, L. King. So, I mean, it was fun. It was fun. I consistently worked.

nothing was, you know, outrageous. And then, so I did that from 18 to, I guess, 22, 21 or 22. And then during that whole time when the Hills was on, Adam DeVello, who was one of the producers, would always call me and say, what do I have to do to get you on an episode? We want you to film. And I always said, no, because I was like, it's Lauren's show. I know you guys want me to come on and just stir things up. And I wanted to just be respectful.

And I was like, I'm not going to do it. So with Lauren leaving, though, they honestly just gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. It was about the money. However, it was a very difficult decision for me because I knew if I went back to the hills, it's a very different, very different career path for me. So in the beginning, obviously you're in high school, what stage of your life here and when they came back when you went on? How old were? Michael wakes up every morning and feeds the dog. And he also feeds the dog every night. And I never have to ask him. Well, I just don't want the dogs to starve to death. Why would they start? I also feed myself.

and been known to feed the baby. And I looked over one day and I realized that me and the dogs hadn't eaten for like seven days. And I was like, what happened? My wife didn't cook any food. That's true. So it's really great that you wake up and feed the dogs. It really helps me out. And you doing it every night is amazing. I appreciate it. I'm close to his diet. He was having some stomach problems. And I don't want to get too graphic here, folks. But there were some gross stuff going on in the yard. I would say liquid a little bit if you get where I'm going. And so we had to switch food. Enter Sundays. It has solved all of the liquid problems if you get where I'm going. And this dog is thriving now. It is the first and only human grade air dried dog food. So they combine

nutrition and taste of all natural human grade food with the ease of zero prep ready to eat formula. It's the best way to feed your best friend. Well, the best thing is too, it's like it comes in these strips and you can break it out. So he obviously burns a smaller dog where he was getting a little bigger. Now he's a smaller one because, again, enter Sunday. But I like it because it's so easy and you can carry it. We're always on the go. We travel with the dog. We bring it with us. So it's just really convenient, healthy food for the dog. And obviously, you know, you want to feed these things the best things possible because they're our best friends. I think that so many people look into the food they're feeding themselves, but they don't look into the food that they're

feeding their dog. This brand Sundays has no artificial binders, no synthetic ingredients, and no general garbage. So I would just tell you to look at the label. look at Sunday's ingredients they're easy to pronounce and they're healthy for dogs to eat. Boone is obsessed. We did the Boone test. We've worked out a special deal for all skinny confidential hymn and our listeners. You're going to receive 35% off your first order. Go to Sundays for dogs.com or use code skinny at checkout. That is S-U-N-D-A-Y-S-F-O-R-D-G-S.com forward slash skinny. Switch to Sundays and feel good about what you're feeding your dog. Well, they kept asking me for years.

So, you know, from when the Hills was on. So 18 to when I was 21. And then when I was, I guess, 22, they made me the offer. So this is in 2000. I graduated high school in 2005. So 2009-ish, I guess. We're the exact same age we graduate 2005. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. So right around in there. And so it was a tough decision for me because I knew, okay, if I go back to the hills, I just have to change my whole course of action here. Because at the time, I was acting. I wanted to be taken seriously as an actor. I was kind of trying to stay out of the gossip, you know, magazines and all of that and be taken

seriously. But ultimately, the money talked. And so I went back to the hills. And I think maybe that was when I kind of decided, okay, I have to embrace this lifestyle. Because with those shows comes the tabloid world of it all. And every week, you know, the Us Weekly would be mirroring, what's happening on the show. And you just have to jump knee deep into that whole world. It sounds like you never, like some people, it seems that do these shows have issue with that. It sounds like you never had, like you understood the game. I understood the game, but it definitely was difficult at times. I mean, there was a moment in my life where Us Weekly was saying I needed to go to rehab and that I wasn't showering.

And like, all this is like crazy shit. I was always showering, okay? And listen, I was partying my ass off. I never needed to go to rehab. I had a good time. I don't regret anything. But they, they, you know, it got a little carried away there for a while. while. And I had, you know, 10 paparazzi outside of my house every day, felt really suffocated.

It was a lot. And at the time, so that was right after the second season of the hills that I did, so this is in 2010. I was really wanting out of L.A. And I was visiting my mom in Chicago, and that's when I actually met Jay. And it just sort of came at the perfect time. I met Jay a month after we stopped shooting the hills. And I'm thankful because it got me out of L.A. It really settled me down, getting married and having kids. And honestly, thank God. because I was essentially a stay-at-home mom. I mean, I had a shoe line with Chinese laundry. I was doing a lot of hosting stuff.

But that was a little burst here and there. And were people still, with paparazzi, still bothering you at this time when you got out of L.A.? Or was it like only an L.A. thing? No, it's, there was one paparazzi in Chicago for a while, but honestly, we made his life such a living, literally one guy.

And we made his life such a living helly stuff coming around. Normally, I'm pretty nice to the paparazzi in L.A. And I get it. It's part of it. But in Chicago, I was like, hang on a second. This is my safe haven. You can't come in here. So I would have put my purse in front of my face, you know, like, do the whole thing.

He was trying to carve out a new market. I know. I'm not here, buddy. Go to L.A. Yeah. So then I just decided, well, actually, okay, this is what happened. So a girlfriend of mine had been asking me to do a jewelry line with her. And I didn't want to work with a friend.

It scared the shit out of me. But after about a year of her, you know, asking me over and over, I thought, all right, you know what, screw it. Why not? Let's do it. So we created Emerald Dove. And she is living in Malibu still. And at the time, she was running the operations and pretty much everything.

She was doing the designing, the operations. I was essentially just marketing. Well, I think sometimes in business, it's better to learn what not to do than almost what to do. Because everything from that situation was what not to do. And the first one being, don't work with friends. It blew up in my face. We are friends now today. We've made up.

And that's been the best thing on the planet for me because she was one of my absolute best friends. And now still is. but it took us a couple years. And I think when you, you come at it from two different places, like I really wanted to look at it as a business to grow. I didn't need to make a buck right that second. I really wanted to put all of my time and energy in it. And I was looking at it from, you know, the long haul where she needed money right then. And so it was just, we came at it from two different angles, you know, issues for us. And also I just kept thinking, if I could be running the operations and doing the designing, I just felt like there was like so much more I could

do. So that blow up in my face. I decided to start Uncommon James to start my own from a room in my house in Chicago when I had little babies. Jay was playing football and I honestly just needed something to do in my spare time. I launched Uncommon James out of a room in my house in April of 2017. So here we are a little over four years later and it's just completely skyrocketed and I never started it with a business plan or with these intentions of growing it to what it's become. It was honest, I was looking at it as a hobby. And I did have this fire of like, I want to show everybody that I know what the hell I'm doing here, which helps. And then that was why I did very cavaliery.

I wanted no interest in going back to reality TV, but I saw a business tool, you know, to bring exposure to Uncommon James. And I'm really happy that I went back for a million other reasons. I'm walking away now from reality TV with such a positive taste in my mouth. And I was an executive producer. and I really had so much fun on that show. So I'm happy I went back. But at the time, the only reason I wanted to

was to bring exposure to Uncommon James and thank God. I have a personal question for you and you and I've had limited interactions together, but I was telling Lauren on the way here, and it's a compliment. I feel you're very intuitive and you're intuitive

with the people that you allow to kind of come into your sphere, right? Like, what do you think that is? Oh, God. Meaning, like, I think you're thoughtful about who, like, there's a lot of people in your position. He's had 10 Pomeratsis parked outside your house, so she knows that a spot of purchase. It takes me a while to trust people. Sure.

Yeah. But there's a lot of people that are probably reaching out, hey, let's do this deal. Let's do this show. Let's do this business. And I think you're very thoughtful about who you do that with. Yeah. Thanks. I mean, I am.

That's a really nice compliment. I, it's probably a combination of things of being burned over the years. I also got to a place once I had kids, and I'm sure you can relate, where I only want to do things that are really going to feed me now. You don't know what I mean, that I'm passionate about, that I'm excited about. Because when I've said yes to things that I'm like, eh, on the fence about, I always, like, it doesn't sit well with me. Even if it's something small as like promoting another brand on Instagram, like, I don't want any part of that unless I'm an actual fan and it really does make sense. But like, I just, I don't have the time or the energy for it anymore. I really am

trying to protect my energy, like you said, and only let in people who are going to make me feel good and bring me up and that I can trust. It takes me a long time to fully let someone in. But once you're in, I am the most loyal friend you will ever have in your entire life. Okay, so we are hosting, I should say I'm hosting Thanksgiving at our house. What am I doing? I'm just like off to the side. You're sitting around drinking a whiskey sour doing fucking nothing. Probably not even the whiskey sour. You know what? It's not about your whiskey sour or Tom Collins. It's all about Framebridge.

and I'll tell you why, Michael Bostic. I wanted to add warmth to this house. Our house in L.A. was a little cold, I felt. It was a little bachelor-bachelorette-esque. And now that we have a child, we are really about creating a sanctuary at home. So in this house, there's more warmth. Sure, it's all white and very neutral colors,

but there is warm. At least for now. At least for now. Zaza has cookies on her hand right now. Anyway, so we're doing a wall. It's this family tree wall and we're going to do all of our family. So like grandparents, cousins, sisters, nephews, nieces, friends, all the things on the wall in black and white and Frambridge is doing it for us. It is so easy. It's going to be done by Thanksgiving. So the whole

wall will be so major to have people over. What you do is you just go to framebridge.com. You upload your photo and then they'll send your package safely in the mail. You can preview your item online with dozens of framing styles and you can lay your gallery out, which really helped me to see how my family tree wall is going to look. Instead of paying hundreds at the framing store, the prices start at $39 and all shipping is free. Plus, all our listeners will get 15% off their first order at framebridge.com when you use code skinny. You can make your own family tree wall. You could do something at your office, whatever. The sky is the limit. You are going to get started today. Frame your photos or send someone the perfect gift. Go to framebridge.com. Go to framebridge.

and use promo code skinny to save an additional 15% off your order. Just go to framebridge.com promo code skinny. Framebridge.com promo code skinny. By the way, speaking of brands, just a side note, you introduced me from your Instagram stories to Monty's cream cheese. Oh my God, is the freaking best. That is the best cream cheese. On the planet, I have some in my fridge. That is so good. It tastes like real cream cheese and it's made from cashews in case you guys are listening and you don't know. And also the founder, Monty, she is one of just the most nicest down earth people too. So I always enjoy, you know, supporting women and women that are just cool. I want to go back to when you had your kids and you were working, were not working.

So you said in your book, I read balancing in heels and you said that you were really focused on raising your kids. Yeah. Was that hard not to do, I'm sure you were doing stuff on the side. You said you were designing your shoe line, but was it hard not to like be in an office, like, I don't know, working towards like something like uncomfort? and James? No, I mean, I actually really, I loved those years and I have such fond memory. I mean, it's hard as shit. Listen, I think being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job on the planet. It just is. But, you know, I think for me at the time, there wasn't, there wasn't another option unless I wanted to have a nanny full-time, which I didn't, because Jay was playing football and Jay's career

just came first. It just was what it was, and that was fine with me. And I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. And there's, it's almost like I have split personalities. It's like I am such a homebody. I want to be in my leggings all day with no makeup on. And then I have that super glam side and that like hardworking bust your ass kind of side too. But at the time when my babies were so little, no, I mean, I just really loved being home and going to the grocery store and going to Target. Like Target, I remember I was just talking to a girlfriend about this yesterday. Because every weekend I was by myself with the kids because Jay was playing football. And so I just remember being like, especially when all three of them were small, I have to have one activity a day, whether it's

going to Target and literally walking down every single aisle. Like, That's our activity. That's what we're doing. But like, you got to get out of the house. It's long, it's long days. But then you look back and, I mean, it goes buying a flash. I know, but it is a lot of work. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. They want to touch everything and anything that they can't have. I told her, I just like, don't buy her toys. She doesn't touch the toys. No, don't. They want nothing to do with toys. My kids would play with like. Yeah. I'm like, Jackson, my middle one had like these nails in his room. the other, I was like, where did you get these nails? Like, what is happening? They love anything that they can't touch. It's wild. It is scary how quick it goes. I, like, look at our child now and she's getting older and I like almost cry because I'm like, what, like, why are you going so fast? It's too much. I know. My baby just started kindergarten and sailor. Now I'm like, God, that was a sad day. I was also kind of a happy day too. It's hardly that you have three. Yeah. It's a lot of work. It is a lot of work.

But you know what? My kids now, they're nine, seven, and five. We're in like such a great mode right now. Everyone's pretty independent. I mean, you know, like as independent as you can be as a nine, seven, and five-year-old. But we're, we're in a good place. That's fun. I would love to know selfishly some tools and tactics that you use to balance everything you've got going on. Like, for instance, you're writing your cookbooks. You have uncommon James. You just launched your beauty line. What are some little tools like Slack or, I don't know, whiteboard, postering? What do you do to keep it all balanced? Well, I'm so incredibly organized. And so I don't even have like, like a special app or anything, I just use my calendar and my notes and my phone. And my to-do list is essentially, like, what I do is on each day, I just have like all my notes at the top. And then as I do them, I just delete them. Or I have like, your notes at the top. I don't have that. What do you mean? Or like I just like I'll do like a full day thing. You know what I mean? And then you can do that in your calendar. Delete. You know? Then that feels so good to delete it. Oh, it's the most rewarding thing on the planet. Or like if I write out a to do list, like crossing something off gives me so.

much satisfaction. Lauren's been creating digital content now for 15 years or so, and I still have to explain to her how to get on Wi-Fi. Like, she is the most- I don't waste my energy on. I love that. I don't need to waste my energy on. Yeah, there you go.

That's why you have him. It's literally your whole life depends on you using the internet and technology and you have she has no clue. Isn't that funny? I know. I love that. So what are some things that you do to get all your books out? You've had three New York Times best-selling books.

That is not an easy feat. What are some, like, things that you like, do you have like an hour on Mondays that you write? And on Wednesday, do you write? Yeah. So right now, because I am working now on my fourth book, so my third cookbook. And so I haven't really been in the office. So that's the thing. I have two buckets. I have a work bucket and a family bucket. And work never spills over into family. Now that my kids are all in school, they don't get, they ride the bus home. They don't get home until 4.30. So like, I drop them off at 8.15. They get home at 4.30. Like, I have a full day now. So instead of going to the office, which is what I normally do, I would drop my kids off at school and go straight to the office and then be home, you know, to be here. and whatnot when they get off the bus. But now I'm just staying home and I'm working on my cookbook. And I'll go into the office on Tuesdays because we have a lot of meetings and stuff. But that's it. And so I've just, when I knew this cookbook was going to happen, I set aside the fall and I told my team at Uncommon James. This is what's happening. I'm not going to be around as much. And I'll get on calls and do stuff like that.

But I'm focusing on my cookbook right now. And that's sort of it. And then, you know, the flip side is too. I only have my kids half the time now. So on the weeks that I don't have my kids, that's when I try to do photo shoots, travel for work. Well, it's the only time I'll travel for work. I've gotten a babysitter twice since I've gotten a divorce because I figure I have my kids half the time. I can go do everything I need to do on the weeks that I don't have my kids. So when I have my kids, that's it. I'm 100% mom. But, you know, like I said, they're at school. So like today, when you guys leave, I'll go and work on the cookbook. And that's just what I'm doing. And I plan on cooking, doing like the cooking portion of it for the next probably month or so, month to two

months, and then the writing portion of it will come in, which that is easy for me because I'd like to do that on airplanes, or I'll go to the Wee Care Spa in Palm Springs, which is like this detox spa for a week, and I'll just bang it out there. That's what I'll do. I'll just write the whole time. And then I'll have to do tweak recipes and stuff like that. But I honestly, I think because for the last few years, I've been grinding with Uncommon James, taking a break from the office and just being home cooking has been so nice. I've really enjoyed this cookbook more than any book. Also, I'm not using a chef for this one. The first two, I did use a chef. And my publisher specifically said, we don't want to do anything chefy. This one's quick and easy meals,

get in, get out. So it's just me in my kitchen and my kids are my taste testers and Justin and Scoot, too, my best friend and his fiance. So it's just been really nice. And I think I got a burnt out working between very Cavalry and Uncommon James. That now it's just like being in my leggings and cooking is my heaven right now. You probably get clarity too with your business. I think sometimes there's hibernation periods where you need to step back and like just evaluate what's going on and be still. We just moved and we are stalking all of our bathrooms with living proof. My mother-in-law actually came over about two weeks ago and she was thoroughly impressed with living proof. Basically, I stalked her bathroom. I had everything all set up with the restore shampoo, the advanced

clean dry shampoo, and a moisture mask. I knew she was going to fall for the moisture mask. And she kept making comments about how much she loved this mask. She has beautiful hair, and it was like really making your hair shiny. And so she went home, and then in San Diego, she texted me, and she was like, can you send me the links to these products? So if I have her approval, I know they are good. She's picky. And her hair did look amazing, I have to say. This brand is award-winning, but most importantly, it's never filled with harmful chemicals. There's no silicones, sulfates, parabins, or gluten. There is so much nasty shit in so many shampoos and conditioners, and you're putting it on your head next to your eyes and your nose and your mouth. It's kind of

gross if you think about it. So I'm very much about living proof because they developed game-changing formulations that set a new standard. If you have any hair concerns like frizz, curls, damage, scalp care, and thin hair, they got you covered. Go check out their website. It's all about cleaner, healthier, more brilliant hair for longer. Put the signs to work and unlock your hair full potential with Livingproof like I did. You're going to visit Livingproof.com slash skinny and use code skinny to get 10% off your first purchase. That's Livingproof.com slash skinny code skinny for 10% off your first purchase. Livingproof.com slash skinny code skinny. And I would recommend the intense moisture mask, just saying. Exactly. And it'll make me excited then to get back in it. It'll fire me up

again. So yeah, I think everything is about balance. I wish I had some crazy, you know, really exciting tips to give you guys. But I'm just so organized and I always have. And even like with the questions for your book, I hate having to owe people something. So I'd rather just get it over with so that it's off of my plate, off of my to-do list. So that's how I keep myself sane. That's like if I have more than like 10 unopened emails, like I have anxiety. I can't, I can't function. But it sounds like when you- I have 3,500 unopened emails. Oh my God. Like that stress is. me out. I returned, I returned all of them just like you did. I batch it in a week and then it just, it's like, it's like, then they fill up again. I don't know what to do. Oh, but it sounds like you're

very, like it's, it sounds like you're either all in or you're all out. That's exactly right. With everything in my life, by the way. Friendships, relationships. I think that's, that's the best. It's a best way to be. I always tell people like, I hate to be part way into something because I know you're going to get like only part of me and it's probably not going to be the best part of me. Not that I'm great, but you know what I mean? I'm going to disappoint you. Yep. Exactly. Exactly. I would love to talk about the evolution of Uncommon James, how you started what that looked like. Like, were you in a little office and now obviously you've grown? Like, just talk about when you first began the company because there's a lot of people who are listening that are entrepreneurial that don't know where to start.

And they want to hear like the nitty grade. Well, here's why too. I think people look at a Kristen Cavalry in the platform you've built over all these years and they think, oh, that's easy. And it's because it's Kristen. Right, right, right. And like, I think disillusioning people to that a little bit and actually telling them like, this is how it all. started because I know it wasn't just like you snapped your fingers and now you have a, I wish it was that easy. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's a lot of work. But so what happened was I decided to

launch. I made that decision in December of 2016 and we launched April 2017. And so for me, it was once I found someone who could create my website for me and I had a manufacturer. I was like, great, I'm off and running. That's all I need. So we launched out of a room, my office in Chicago at our house. We actually moved to Nashville like a week later. So then I had a, a room at our old house here in Nashville. And before I moved here, I flew down for a day and I met with different girls. I needed one to run social media. And I wanted a girl to help me package orders and do customer service emails and stuff like that. So moved here, I found two great girls. Actually, Colby D is a girl that still works for me. She heads customer service. She was my first employee

ever. So that's kind of amazing. And then that was all I had for a while. And listen, I mean, Uncommon James, and this is the power of social media, and it's a love-hate relationship for me with social media, but honestly, Uncommon James wouldn't be what it was without Instagram. And so I am thankful for that. And that is my audience that's followed me over the years. And I think as we get older, life starts to make sense and everything is building blocks. And so I wouldn't have Uncommon James if I wasn't on TV, if I didn't meet Jay and I didn't move to Chicago and I didn't have kids. It's like everything makes sense. And it's the thing I'm most proud of professionally and the thing that I'm happiest doing, the thing I just love.

so much. And so very thankful for, you know, everything that got me where I am. But anyways, so I had two employees. We, we were doing really well. And then the opportunity for Very Cavalry came along. And I thought, well, at first, I wasn't really supposed to be on it. It was going to be more like a Vanderpump Rules kind of show. And I would pop in and out. So we filmed a pilot. And they said, E said, we really wanted to be more about your personal life. So they said, do you have a friend that would be on it? And would Jay film one scene with us? And I was like, Oh, my God, getting to convince Jay to film a scene is going to be nearly impossible, but he did. And then I got my friend Kelly on board. And so then they came back and said, okay, we will do the show if it's more, if you're going to be on it more and it'll be more about your life.

So I thought, all right, that's fine. Because still, I wanted to do it just for uncommon James. But I thought, if this is what's going to get this show over the line, then yeah, sure, it can be a little bit more about my life, but still not invasive. So the first season was really, I'd say, split. It was like 50. 50-50 about some of my employees in the company and then Jay and I or like my girlfriends and I or whatever. And then each season, it was like the only thing that was resonating with the audience was my personal life. And my person, me too with the company, but like they weren't as invested in my employees or anything like that. And do the people, do the people, the other people in the cast, do they get upset about that? Well, I don't think it was ever like a conversation of like, by the way, no one's really invested in you. They just sort of weren't on it as much. But the flip side was, I, my life actually is pretty boring. And I know people are like,

oh, there's no way. It really is. On a day to day basis, I don't have a whole lot going on. I live a very normal life. So coming up with storylines for the show sometimes was challenging for me. You just talked about this with Spencer. It's like how, like if they were just to follow your normal day. It's boring as shit. Yes, you got to come out. There's nothing going on. Yeah. I mean, on, listen, I wish I could sit here and say that everything on TV was real on Very Cavalry. And a lot of it was. But no, I mean, you have to, it's a business. You're creating a TV show. You have to come up with storylines. And I had a lot of boundaries. You know, my kids were never on the show. My life literally was wake up, work out, get my kids ready for school.

They go to school. I go to the office. Come home. I make dinner for my kids, bath routine. I go to bed. Like, that's my life. So trying to film a show where half of my life can't be on it was very difficult. So we kept a lot of the employees on to fill that void because honestly, I don't think I could have carried a show myself just with my life. But anyways, and so I had a ton of fun doing the show. I loved it. I actually, I liked that we showed the real stuff that was going on with the growth of Uncom and James. You know, shipping was a disaster at the time. I can't remember now everything. The employees are fighting. Like, that was all real. That stuff was real. And I had other founders reach out to me at the time and say, I love that you're showing all this because nobody does show what

It's like from a start, you know, startup life is difficult and there are so many hiccups and so many things that you learn. And I was cool. I think it's so cool that you have that stuff because like anything I've been in hindsight, I wish that I had some like documented more of the beginning because that's the toughest and most chaotic part. Totally. Yeah, it is cool that I have some of that.

You're like kind of like, oh, it's. I know. Like it's a well-oiled machine at this point. We get on my phone call with my COO. I'm like, what's going on? He's like, nothing. Everything is good. I'm like, all right, great.

Like, thank God, though. Because for a while, it was like, oh my God, what fire do we have to put out now? And I think, too, honestly, filming a show about your company attracts a certain kind of employee. Maybe ego. And people thinking that they just want to work for the company to be on the show, which now I have legit employees. And I actually hired a recruiting company about a year and a half ago during COVID, like in the height of COVID. And I hired a leadership team. And it's been the best thing that I've ever done.

And it's taken a lot off my plate so that I am not overseeing the fulfillment center anymore. Because guess what? I don't. I mean, I care. but I don't want to hear about a fucking shipping. Like, I can't do it anymore. I want to be in my creative box. I want to be designing. I want to be planning the photo shoots. And I want to be talking about marketing. That's pretty much it. I don't want to oversee customer service anymore. I want to make sure everything is running well and that my customers are happy, but I don't need the nitty

gritty on a day-to-day basis. And protect your piece. Exactly. I would love to know, again, this is a selfish question, how you find assistance, employees that are in your house. It's so invasive. Oh, I know. Yeah. Also, like, what's their motive? Like, are they applying to get close? on television, on your Instagram story. Like, how do you go about that? I feel like you have such a good gauge when it comes to that. Thanks. I will say, I do feel like I've always had a pretty good read on people. I just have these gut feelings. And what I've learned over the years is if I have a gut feeling, to start to trust it. Because I've always proven myself right, even when I haven't. But I think through friends, word of mouth,

finding an assistant like that. Here's the thing. If you come to Uncommon James trying to get close to me, you're going to learn real quick. You won't because there's so many people now and there's so many higher-ups that, you know,

no one's going to be starting at Uncommon James that will be reporting to me anymore because I have a CFO. I have my CMO. I have all these people. And so that's just not going to happen. And if that's the case, you'll quit pretty quickly.

But as far as like assistance and stuff goes, I actually hired an assistant about a year and a half ago. It's the first time in my life I've had an assistant and she's been the best thing that's ever happened. But she came recommended through a friend. And her dad is in the music business. And so she doesn't give a shit about me. I'm small potatoes. You know, so I think it's like, you just got to, it's like, well, help with kids too. I think that's probably the hardest thing is like finding babysitters and stuff. For me, I'm like, who am I going to trust with my kids? Luckily, I don't need babysitters anymore. But when I did, that I found to be the most challenging. But I

through friends, like word of mouth. It's stressful. I'm like a gargoyle in the corner. Yeah, it's hard. No, I think something Navy, who's an influencer, like, did an Instagram story about how her kid was at the park in New York with her nanny. And someone came up and asked the baby to take a selfie. Or asked, like, to take a selfie with the baby. That's not good. That is like... It's so invasive. It's just, I don't understand that. with the phone now and having a kid and a nanny, like it's a whole, you really do have to do your research.

Yeah, you have to. I can only imagine how when you had the show, how people are like trying to apply. We've had one nanny and she came, she was Hillary Scott's nanny for a while. So she just came, which I knew, obviously, if you're around, you know, the music industry and whatnot, we know we can trust you. She came very highly recommended. I don't use her anymore because my kids are in school anymore, but she does go to Jay's house still. And that makes me happy that I know she's over there. And, you know, she's been in our last. for over three years now. And I consider her a friend too. Like I, she has a son now and we all get the kids together and we meet up and hang out. But yeah, it's, it's really hard to have people coming in your home around your children who you can trust. It's, it's, I think that's the hardest part out of anything. So many people are looking for a pure retinal that's affordable. But here's the thing. Retinoles are so irritating. They all want something that.

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And then sometimes it's quick turnover. So then they'll leave and then you have to find someone else. And then they were in your home. It's the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. We were lucky that we've only had the one girl and we've had her for over three years. So we got very, very lucky. I want to know more about your co-brands. I think it's so interesting how you're doing a co-brand with feet. That's, yeah. Okay. And then you also did a co-brand with Justin. Like, I would love to know how you choose those, like why you think it's so great for business. I think it's genius. Okay, well, that's interesting you say that because I just told Feet at the time. Feet actually wanted to, and I love them. The guys over there are so great. They've been so fun to work with. But they wanted to continue our partnership. And I said no. And I said no. And I just told Justin the end of the year, I'm walking away from D. P. Hugh. I'm no longer going to do other partnerships because to me, I have my own brand. It takes away from. from it. I want to put all of my time and energy to Uncommon James and my cookbooks and everything. And, you know, to be honest, and Justin and I've had this conversation, I said yes to DPU because it's my best friend, you know, and I've had a lot of fun. I really love our products that we've

created, especially now our whole blonding series. That stuff is awesome. If you have blonde hair, these products, get out all of the, like the brassiness and the chlorine. It just really makes your... Well, it cover the gray hair that I have right here. You do not have any gray hair. It's like thin. It's a little silver. I don't know if it'll cover the... the gray, but it'll brighten your blonde. I need to brighten my fucking much. I have a bend to L.A. Can you tell? But you should go have Justin God. You should make him color your hair. I know. We're going to get over there and say, hey, interviews canceled. We actually need you to. Yeah, forget it. This is all because I needed a hair appointment. But, you know, that's the thing.

If I didn't have my own brand, I would probably do more of them. But I just think, I don't know, I'm lucky to be in a position where I don't need to be doing this stuff. And to be honest, like I said, for the last three years or so, I worked so fucking hard that. I got burnt out. Where now I'm just trying to take everything off of my plate. And in the last year and a half, I'd say I've had way more fun than I have in forever. I'm enjoying life a little bit more. I'm seeing friends more.

And obviously a lot of that is because I have this week off now of my kids that I'm able to. But I don't know. I just feel like I'm in a good place right now of not being stressed out, not working so hard and just enjoying life. It's been so long. No, I think, okay, we were, I know what I want to ask you. you have different layers in your company. How did you go about creating that?

You mentioned a recruiting agency, but was there something else that you did? Did you sit and have meetings with them? Was there someone else doing that? What does that process look like? Well, so for me, what I realized was, yeah, I did a great job of getting the company where it was, but that was as far as I could get it.

I needed people with real experience to come in and then now help me excel it to the next level. And so that was why I went with a recruiting company because in Nashville, we don't have a lot of talent as far as retail brands go. So I knew that these people were probably going to come from L.A., New York, or maybe even Ohio, because there's a ton of brands out in Ohio. Actually, one of my girls is from Ohio, who, but I had already had her. But so I hired this company, and I, at the time, the most important role for me was a C-O.

Someone to sit directly underneath me to filter through essentially everything. And then marketing has like this, you know, dotted line on the org chart to, also report to me. But I didn't want to have my head of the fulfillment center reporting to me anymore, my head of customer service. It's like that stuff was so draining and taking up so much of my time, especially when I, you know, I started the company to be creative and to do the designing and I love the photo shoots and I love all of that stuff that, you know, all of the other stuff. It was just, it was burning me out, to be honest. And so I knew I needed a COO. I needed someone in finance, my CFO and then my head of marketing, my CMO. So I hired those three roles. Those three are crucial.

So that's why I went with the marketing company because the talent that we were finding ourselves just wasn't cutting it. And I just, for me, the most important thing was experience. So like Tripp, my C-O, he came from FabFit Fund. And then he's worked at Target and Petco. And, you know, he knows his shit. He's been in India overseeing the fulfillment, sorry, the manufacturers. He has really good vendor relationships and stuff like that. And so that was important to me. You just have to figure out what's important for you. We're like, we had the creative side down. That was locked in. You know, I've got that. So it was everything else that then I needed to fill in the gaps. I want to know how you start your morning for a super successful day. Say you're really busy. You've got a lot going on business wise. What do you do? Like time you

wake up, everything. Okay. So this morning, I'll just tell you my morning. This morning I got up my alarm on off at 530. I went in my basement and I worked out. 530. 530. Wow, that's really. 530. God, I never thought. I would be that girl. And here I am because it's the only time in my day that I can do it. Otherwise, I'm never going to work out. So 530. I come up at 6.30. I feel like here, though, it's probably a lot easier. Right? You wake up with nature. Yeah, it is. It's nice. It's nice. So came up here at 630. Shocking. No, sorry, Camden. My oldest was up. He was sitting on the computer in here. My other two were still sleeping. So I went in the kitchen. I made him breakfast. And then I started making everybody's lunches. You know, slowly everyone starts coming down the stairs. And then I'm doing

breakfast. I was still in my workout stuff and I took them to school that way. And then I came home because we were doing this podcast. And then I took a shower. And then I got ready to have you guys. But lately the last few weeks, what I've done is I stay in my workout clothes. And then I just start cooking. And then maybe I'll take a shower later. I'll get around to it. But typically I would. So you're saying the tabloids were right. Yeah. I don't shower. That's the story that's going to kind of out of the whole pot. Yeah. Everything you've said on this podcast. Life imitating art. That's going to be the headline. That's going to be the headline. So that's the story that's going to kind of out of the whole podcast. podcast. But typically before, when I was going into office, I'd have to get up at five because I need that extra 30 minutes to get ready myself because then I would take my kids to school and then go straight to the office. But like last year, my daughter was in preschool and she would get out at 245. So I would leave the office no later than two every day to go pick her up, which was great. And so yeah, so that's my life. And then I make dinner 90% of the time tonight. The kids wanted to go to dinner. So we are going to go to dinner. But that's it. You know, bath time, nighttime routine, rinse repeat. I mean, that's, that's my life. And I don't do, like I said,

when I have my kids, I'm not going to dinner. I'm not going out. I want to go to bed too also. Sleep has become the most important thing to me as an adult. I'm like so sad, but here I am. And then the weeks I don't have my kids, like I'll go to, like Friday night, I'm going to go to dinner with a girlfriend. I'll probably have a few drinks and it'll be great, you know. And so then it makes it way more fun than I can really enjoy both when I'm doing either one. Like you said, I'm all or nothing. So I like it. What tips do you have for our audience who want to start a business? Like, what are three tangible tips that you would give them? Well, I would say, I would say not to get discouraged and don't let a few knows get in your way because no matter what it is you're doing,

people are going to tell you, oh, you can't do that or that's not a good idea or this is what you should be doing. I think at the end of the day, we really got to trust our gut. We all have that intuitive spirit. It's just a matter of getting back in touch with it. But I think we're all born with it, honestly. So it's trusting your gut. It's trusting yourself. And then I think, okay, so that's tip one, I guess trusting your gut. Two is you got to really check in with yourself and have a very serious conversation of do you have what it takes? Because yeah, it's fun. There's a lot of good things that come from it, but it's hard work. You have to bust your ass. So you just got to know you got to see if you really have it. And then I would also say, don't put all of your money into one thing because there's a chance I might not work out. So you've got to have a safety net. You know, I hate when people put their life savings into this idea and then it never goes anywhere. That's heartbreaking. So you just got to be smart about your money. That's a great tip. Can you leave our audience with a book, a podcast, a resource, a show that you're loving right now. Well, I just watched White Lotus, which I thought was so good. Shit, we're in the middle of that. We forgot it. I won't tell you the end. It's so good. And then I just read the psychopath test.

which is a book about psychopaths. It's fucking amazing. Does it tell you if you're a psychopath? I think I'm a psychopath. No, honestly, I think I know a few. I'm sure everybody does. There are psychopaths walking around this earth, you guys. I think I'm married to war.

A lot of them are in entertainment. So that was kind of an interesting book. Yeah, there's a Bob Hare checklist, which you can now, of course, like, I'm going around like, okay, you check, you know, number 14, 15, 18, while you're fucking crazy. Just screenshot it and have it on your phone so you can pull it up next to your,

To-do list. Exactly. Where can everyone find all your businesses, pimp yourself out, tell us your Instagram, everything. So everything is at

Uncommonjames.com. I mean, you can Google, or you could do Uncommon Beauty. com, but it'll just go to the page on Uncommon James. So that's our skincare. And then my Instagram

is just Kristen Cavaleri. We have Uncomin' James. We have Uncomin Beauty. We have Little James Clothing. Although I think it's just Little James on Instagram. Little James Clothing is so.

Thank you. We're just doing pajamas now. We've... So cute. Yeah, which is more fun. So we just don't have the bandwidth, honestly, to give it the love and attention it deserves. So we just decided we'll do cute pajamas. We're in the process of creating pajamas at each store location. So like Dallas will have like their themed pajamas and Nashville. Yeah. So it's fun. But it's sort of an afterthought. Unfortunately, maybe one day we'll have more people that can focus on it. But yeah, so that's that. Last question. What would you start with in your line if you had to start with one thing? Mine is going to be the

the mango lip balm or the pineapple peptide nectar. What's yours? So those are our top two products. I love the pineapple peptide nectar because it's vitamin C and peptide. So it's brightening. It's anti-aging. It's hydrating. It's also, it just smells amazing and just kind of like instantly wakes you up and makes you feel good. And you told me off air that so many people are messaging you that it's changed their skin. Yeah, honestly. And I posted a before and after of a girl who works in our office who had been using it for a few months. It completely cleared up her acne. And I begged her. I was like, please pay and let me post this. this is so incredible what it's done for your skin. And then I do, I have people DMing me all of the time with their testimonials, which to me, like, that's the coolest thing on the planet.

If we can actually be affecting people's skin and giving them more confidence to go out into the world, that's awesome. That is amazing. You guys, I always say less is more with products. We're using too many products right now, I think. Yeah. You are coming on another exciting little endeavor. And thank you so much for coming on. You guys, everyone will follow at Uncommon James and at on Common Beauty. Thank you. Thanks, Kristen. Do you want to win a copy of Kristen's cookbook? It is so good.

I'm obsessed with the Brussels Sprout Caesar salad. All you have to do is tell us your favorite part of this episode with Kristen on my latest post at Lauren Bostic. I'm so into this cookbook. It really helps me to cook Michael at dinner once a month. I think you guys are going to love it. And we'll see you next time. Make sure you listen to Kristen on Get the Fuck Out of the Sun.