The Bossticks - Loren Ridinger On Love & Loss, Turning Pain Into Power, & The Mindset Needed For Success

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

#814: Join us as we sit down with Loren Ridinger – influential businesswoman, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, best-selling author, and Co-Founder & CEO of Market America Worldwide | SHOP.com, a global e-commerce & product brokerage company. With over 30 years of experience, Loren has empowered millions, building a thriving empire alongside her late husband, JR Ridinger. In this episode, Loren opens up & gets vulnerable, reflecting on JR's legacy, the values that shaped their success, & how she found strength to move forward after his sudden passing. Loren shares insights from her latest book, Scrambled or Sunny-Side up? Living Your Best Life After Losing your Greatest Love, offering wisdom on navigating grief, embracing each day, & choosing to live fully – no matter what life serves up next.    To Watch the Show click HERE   For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM   To connect with Loren Ridinger click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   Get your burning questions featured on the show! Leave the Him & Her Show a voicemail at [phone].   This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential   Head to the HIM & HER Show ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of Michael and Lauryn's favorite products mentioned on their latest episodes.   To purchase Loren Ridinger latest book, Scrambled or Sunny-Side Up? Living Your Best Life After Losing Your Greatest Love visit scrambledorsunnysideup.com.   This episode is sponsored by ARMRA     Go to tryarmra.com/SKINNY or enter SKINNY to get 15% off your first order.   This episode is sponsored by YNAB   TSC Him & Her Show listeners can claim an exclusive three-month free trial, with no credit card required at YNAB.com/skinny.   This episode is sponsored by Netflix - Running Point   Running Point, now streaming only on Netflix.   This episode is sponsored by Cymbiotika    Go to Cymbiotika.com/TSC for 20% off + free shipping.   This episode is sponsored by Dr. Diamonds Metacine   Visit DrDiamondsMetacine.com to learn more about the InstaFacial(R) Collection and use code SKINNY at checkout for a free sample of award-winning InstaFacial(R) Plasma with any purchase of $200 or more.   This episode is sponsored by Live Conscious Collagen Peptides   Visit weliveconscious.com and use code SKINNY at checkout for 15% off your first purchase.   Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

Lauren Ridinger is gracing us with her presence on the show. she is a successful entrepreneur and I mean very successful okay she's the CEO of market america worldwide shop.com you guys have probably used shop.com she's also a motivational speaker a mother and an influential businesswoman i have been wanting her to come on the show for so long she has such an incredible journey as a powerhouse entrepreneur and a brand builder and in this episode it's going to hit all the points, okay? So we'll uncover mindset, business strategies, and personal habits that have fueled her success. She also opens up about the death of her late husband, JR, and she's so vulnerable and real in this episode.

We flew to New York just to interview her. She is that major. Lauren, welcome to the Him and Her show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Lauren, your journey is absolutely extraordinary. It's wild. And one of the reasons I wanted to have you on the show is because there's a couple parallels with working and building with a husband that only you can understand. You guys, I love you guys. I just, you remind me so much of myself and J.R. What a compliment. It's, it's, I really love watching you guys. I just feel I see so much of ourselves and what we did in this journey and the back. back and forth between the two of you and I just adore it. We try to have fun.

No, if we're not having fun, it's not worth doing. Let's go back to when you're 18 years old. Oh, gosh, that was amazing. Tell me about how you met your husband. I was working at, I first met him. I was working as an aerobic instructor at a gym, a local gym in North Carolina, and he was a consultant for like, you know, one of those ad buster companies seen on TV back then. You know, that was the form of advertising back in 1988 or 1980.

I was also working part-time as an office assistant, as this manager, and he came in, and somebody told us, this guy's coming in from New Jersey, and he's going to be a consultant for this marketing firm. And I was like, okay, great. And they were like, he's going to hold a meeting at 6 p.m. everybody has to be there. And I saw him, and when he came in, he was like, wow, you look like a little tiger. I was like, this guy's totally trying to hit all me. But I liked him.

And I was totally intrigued by him. Didn't say two words to me. That was it. After he said that to me, didn't talk to me at all again. but he wrote me a note the next day, asked me to go to lunch. I did. He picked me up. He's like, you got to go down on the floorboard because I can't let anybody know I'm taking

your lunch. Why not? Because he was 36, right? He was 36. I was 18. And he was working for the boss. I was working for it. Got it.

So I think he just didn't want anybody to see us together. And I was like, I'm not going down on the floorboard. It's not going to happen. He's like, you got to do it. And I did like an idiot. But that was the beginning of our journey. Second date, he took me to a cemetery. And I was like, this guy is going to.

to kill me. For sure, this guy's going to kill me. I'm 18. You know, like, what are we doing here? He goes, get out of the car. I get out of the car. He's like, walk up and down, walk with me, follow me. And I was like, I was scared. And he goes, pick any one of them. Any one of them. Tell me what they have in common. Because they all have a birthday and a death date. All that matters is what we do with the dash in between. Ooh, that's kind of hot. It was hot. I fell in love at that moment. Oh, yeah. I was in love. It was over. And I realized it was in a good space. I had no idea anything about him. I didn't know if he had anything, didn't have anything, if he had a house, a car, if he was running an apartment. I didn't even know where he was

from. But I was madly in love and I was going to follow him wherever he went. And I did. And I found that he didn't have anything, but we built this incredible journey together for 36 years. Did you guys see something in each other ambition-wise from the beginning? You know, what I saw was a guy who had a lot of girlfriends on the side. That's what I saw. I saw a guy who had a lot of girlfriends and I couldn't understand like, why are you not just focused on me? And he kept saying to me, I'm just not on your time zone yet. Give me time. Give me time. And my mom would say to me, Lauren, not everything happens when you want it to happen, but there's something very special about him. Stay with him. He's going to be the greatest husband, the greatest father, the greatest, you know,

he's going to make a difference in a community and thousands of people. And I thought, my mom is so smart. How can she be saying this about a guy who has so many girlfriends? And she worked in a dry cleaners for $3.35 an hour. So she would clean his clothes and then find the letters he would write to other girls and hide them. And I was like, what is going on here? But she would not show them to me. And she shortly, not too long after, passed away.

Whoa. And I found all the letters in her bag. She didn't want me to have him for a reason. Oh, my God. So do you think she just had the perspective to see what it would be? Yes, I think she saw something in him. And I think she was realized that I thought everything, you know, I was in high school. I was, you know, the girl that everybody thought was nice and cool.

And I think she thought like, you know what, you can't have it the way you want it right now. But he'll change. What did you do when he had all these girlfriends? Were you stoic? Oh, I was a lunatic. Do you go crazy? No, no, I was a lunatic. He had, you're way too young to know this when he had these little precious moments.

statues and I would go into his house and just destroy everything. By the way. It's a precious moment statue. No, I know precious moments. Like the little sad eyes. Yes. Why did he have a bunch of those? Well, he had like somebody would give him to him.

So I would just smash them all. I was a lunatic. I was 18. I was crazy. He probably liked your feisty. He loved it. I think he loved that. I was feisty.

And then I, you know, after the cemetery, I fell in love with them. But I used to tell him all the time. I'm like, you know, I'm in love with you. And he's like, I like you all a lot. don't let it go to your headline. Don't let it go to your head. And of course, that would get me every time. And, you know, our relationship really kicked off when, you know, he told me, look, one day,

we're going to start a company. It's going to be like the mall without walls. And I was like, well, what does that mean? And he was like, you'll be able to buy your shoes, your clothes, your cosmetics online. This is before Amazon or anything. And I was like, okay, and how do you expect that to happen? because women like to try their things on. We'd like to play with makeup.

We'd like to go in the store, trying lots of clothes. And he's like, you'll see. And he would go travel city to city, state to state. And I'd go with him. And he'd, you know, tell everybody about what was coming. And they would look at him like he was crazy. And I would say, you know, he would come out of that meeting. Like, what a great meeting, right, Lauren?

And I was like, I don't think they thought that. I don't think they agree with us. And he was like, it doesn't matter what they think. What matters is, what do you think? So he had this idea and this. concept, this vision way before, like was the internet around? The internet was around just beginning. It was called the World Wide Web back then. How were people using it at the time? It was an informational site only. There was no real

products on it. Nothing had really started yet. And you know, there was nobody going to sell his products and we were going to, we were trying to tell them, look, we're going to sell these products online. But nobody wanted to believe it back then. They thought we were crazy. And we were like, they were like, well, who are you going to sell it to? He's like, well, we don't have customers yet, but one day we will. You know, today we have nearly six million customers. But, you know, he never quit believing. He just put blinders on and went for it.

It's almost, he was like Jeff Bezos before. Jeff Bezos. Well, Jeff Bezos spent, he's amazing. He spent so much money, you know, advertising and raising money for Amazon. He did such a great job. I love Lauren. She's incredible. But what we did is we didn't pay for advertising.

We paid people instead. And so we built this huge network of people, which was incredible on customers everywhere. And before we'd know it, we'd convince, we didn't have any money to get products from manufacturers. We'd say, you know, would you make us 500 of them? As soon as they sell, we'll give you a little bit more money. You know, you can charge us 10 cents more or 15 cents more,

and we did what we could to make it work. How much was it to initially make the first investment? Did you buy the website first? Like, how does that work back then? Well, the funny thing is we didn't buy actually shop.com until 2010. You know, we started with nothing. I think we had $5,000. We hadn't started with the website yet.

We were buying names back then. We had so many names to choose from. We were going through so many things. And then we started to go to manufacturers and say, well, you sell us products. And that was the more challenging part because, you know, they want big numbers. You know, they want to have, you know, 10,000 units of this, 5,000 units of that. And we didn't have that type of money. So what do you do?

We did it anyway. We went in there and we'd say we'd take 500. We'll be committed to selling $1,000. but we could only take $500 now, but you hold it for us, and they would. And so we still have longstanding relationships with a lot of those people who believed in us 33 years ago, which is really remarkable because when you think about it today, now, you know, buying $10,000 is a small number for us. But back in the day, buying, you know, somebody would believe in us to do 100 or 200 bags at once was remarkable.

What was the tumbleweed of it? Like, where did you start to see momentum? Is it five years down the road? No, believe it or not, it was. You know, back in 92, today the world is so different. When we really launched, it was 91, 92. And back in the day, you know, nobody was making money from home. So we were able to offer people a home-based opportunity.

Now you can work at home anywhere. You can be an influencer or a creator, you know, whatever you want to be. But back then, people who wanted to make money and work from home, especially moms, love the opportunity. So by year two, we saw our first like 10 million. By year three, we were 100 million in. Wow. We worked nonstop. So you grew, I mean, for anyone who's listening, that's a big number.

Back then. When you- Especially back then. What was, do you know your first year? At first year was about $10 million in sales. So you went from $10 to $100? Get to $100 in the second year. How did you scale that and get the proper team?

I got to tell you, we did it. J.R. married, not just me, but he married my family. So all four of us were entrepreneurs. And so he had my brother, who ultimately is now the president of our company. My sister, who was a vice president. And my mom had passed away, I told you, at 42, right after. It's so young. So young.

Massive heart attack. And my brother was 13. My daughter was just born. You know, she was seven months. Our daughter was just born. She was seven months old. And so after school, we'd make Steve come help us pack boxes. And we did it us and a handful of the kids I went to school with growing up in high school.

And everybody came in. And everybody who came in in in the beginning is still there. And we took care of everybody. We've never lost any. except by God taking them in all these years together. So how long did you guys work together in the entirety of working together? 36 years we were together. That is crazy.

24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365. J.R. did not like being apart. He really liked being together. I used to tell him, like, go skiing. Get out of the house. We push you out of here. I need a little space, and he would be like so sweet. He would be like, I want you to go with me.

But I thought it wasn't healthy for us to spend so much time together. You feel that way? People call us co-dependent. Can I go downstairs and get a coffee? Bullshit. She's lying though. She's lying.

No, but I feel that because every time I would walk down the hallway, Jera would be like, where are you going? I was like to the bathroom. You do. You do that. I'm like, I'm going to the bathroom. I know what's so funny though? Like individually, I'm a bit of a loner.

Like I can go out and I can be social and I, you know, I can do a lot. You know, obviously the business I run. I'm with people all the time, like in an extroverted kind of way. But honestly, if I wasn't with her, you could put me on the side of a mountain by myself somewhere. My husband was the same way, very quiet, very much alone,

or didn't need to be around a lot of people, but was super dynamic. Could perform on stage for hours. But when he came home, he just wanted to hang with me. And that was a lot because I love being with him. But you know, there's also days you want to kill him. There's also days you want to have your own space.

There's also days you're like, okay, let me just be me for a minute. Today I was looking in the mirror at myself. and he literally comes in front of the mirror and starts adjusting his outfit. And I'm just like, go downstairs. Go get something done, do something. And it's like, I love that he's like. I was going to come here and you ran in there and you're like, get out of the bathroom.

What are you doing? You guys love each other like that. You know what? I think the key to marriage is simple and you're sort of saying this without saying it. We like each other. First of all, you have to really like each other. Even before love, you have to like each other. It's so important.

It's such a word that we throw around. The second most important thing is respect. You have to really respect each other. Because Jerry used to say to me, once you stop loving me, once you stop respecting me, let me know and I'll leave you alone. And I understood that. And that never happened. You know, never. I used to say like there's days I don't like you today.

You know, I was really like, you know, if I had a tough day, I would be like, I just don't like you today. Because I worked for him. You know, I felt like he was my leader and I followed him. So I'd be like, I'm doing all of this. Do you see all I'm doing it? Back in the day, when we talked about this before, back in the day, nobody understood what it was like. A woman, it was really hard for a woman to have her shine to be in that space. You know, he was, you know, a gentle giant.

And I was just trying to fit in. I wanted to be seen by him. Not because I wanted to be seen by others. I wanted him to see me. That's what I think is so unique about you is everyone's like a girl boss or an entrepreneur or whatever. Now you were doing this before anyone. was, I don't want to say anyone, but you were really leaning into the female entrepreneur side. Yeah, I've really believed in female empowerment. And he did, too. I have to say, I have to give him a lot of credit. He was always one who was pushing me behind the scenes ago. My wife's awesome. She's amazing. And I'd be like, okay, okay, sweet. He was supportive.

He was very supportive. And you don't realize how important that is until you don't have it. You know what I mean? And that is just a beautiful journey. That's why I love you guys. When I watch you guys, I, I crack up. I just think your dynamic together is perfect. That's a very nice compliment. It's just incredible. I watch everything you do. You know, like similar to the relationship you experience, I think like the dynamic exists because we've known each other

for so long in such an intimate way that it's like it's not force. There's nobody else. Well, Jerry used to say if it doesn't work out I'm going to kill you. Exactly. That's how I feel too. There's nobody else you can have. Just go underground. At this point, we're kind of pot committed. Exactly. Exactly.

You're pot committed. No matter what you're making this work. When you did a hundred million in sales, how did you guys continue to scale the business exponentially and grow it? Well, I will tell you what, Jayne never told us what the finances were. So you never shared? Nope, he didn't want us to know. It wasn't until much later I found out. And the reason being is, is he did not want us to stop working hard. He always, because remember, he had filed bankruptcy when I first met him. I didn't know he didn't have anything. I didn't know he didn't have a car. I didn't know he didn't have a house to live in. And I used to think, Are you just dating me because I had a license?

You know what I mean? The first one, when he took me to that cemetery at that time and said, get out of the car, he was going like 85 miles an hour down the road. I was like, you understand in North Carolina you can only go 35 year. He was like, well, if I had a license, I'd go faster. And I thought, I'm with a real lunatic here. But those lunatics are the ones that make it happen. Right.

And I think that, you know, he never wanted me to know how much money we were doing. So when did you know? He didn't want to spend it. He didn't want to spend. He wanted to keep reinvesting in the business. And it wasn't until 99. We had started officially 91, 92, went until 9090. So we're going to go buy a house.

And I was like, really? Okay. How much money do we have? And back then it was like $5 million in Miami, which was a ton of money to buy a house. And we bought, you know, I think it's the biggest waterfront still in Miami Beach. Still own it. Yes. Yeah, we've lived there for 26 years.

That's a good piece of property to still own today. I'm sure it's appreciated nicely. Well, I turned down a three-digit number just recently. I can imagine. Yeah. I'll use my imagination. Yeah, it's a big one. And it was by a big person.

So I turned it down. But where are you going to go? I've lived in that house my whole life. And my kids grow up there. My grandkids have lived there. And so I feel like it's our legacy property. You know, he always used to say when we came back in 2021, we lived in that house for so many years. And he was like, we need a new look.

I was like, what do you mean a new look? He's like, we're going to get a new apartment this weekend. And we're going to refit this house. And we're going to refit this house. and do it one more time. I was like, really? Because I'm okay staying in an apartment. I'm good with it.

I didn't need all the extra work. It was a lot of headache on me because managing the business and managing a house is a lot. But he wanted that property for our kids, you know, and for his grandkids. He said, do me a favor. I'm going to get us this apartment. And we moved in the same building with our friends

that, you know, Isabella, you know. And we all lived in this building, which was incredible. But we renovated our home and it's almost done. He never got to see it. When you think back, yeah. He never got to see the renovation. No, we're just finishing up in the next six months, but he never got to see it. But he knew you were doing it.

Well, he got to design it. So we're doing what he designed, but he never got to see it finished. When you think back on your time with him from a business perspective, what do you think the biggest lessons he left you with were? Oh, I think he never give up, do the hardest things first. I mean, he was really tough. When he came to work, you'd be like, Lauren, let's get the hardest things done every day. Before I get out of bed, he said, before you get out, give me all your time because I'm

going to lose you as soon as you leave this bedroom. And he would, but he knew it's because I was going in hard at what we wanted to do. But he used to say, you know, give it all you got the hardest things first because by noon you'll own the day yourself. And he was right. And so I would always make my list before and he would walk by, you know, like he would come by you behind you in the mirror. He would walk by me at my computer and he would say, let me see your list. I said, really is, let me look at it. And he'd take things off the list. You don't need to spend your time doing that. Do these things. He knew. had a time management while and I learned that well. He used to say, don't give your time freely.

Let people have a little piece of view and walk away. And how did he figure this out? He just innately knew it. I got to tell you, I don't know. He's special. I think my mom saw that in him because so many times I was like, I don't know if I'm a stay with this guy's guy's got girlfriends, this and that. And by the time we'd started the business, he ended up being this incredible leader and somebody who I looked up to and my mentor, my coach, he wasn't just now my husband. I think he just knew. He used to monitor everything I would do, how I would spend my time, wanted to see what I do. And at first it drove me nuts. I mean, does that ever drive you guys nuts? I think things he does drive me nuts. But if he was, if he had, if he was dead right now, like I would be able to

get on a mic and be like, oh, that was cute how he did that. That's nice. That's nice. If I dropped dead, he's able to reply. He's alive right now. So I don't have those little sentences. She tries to put on a tough facade here. If I was gone, she would be. devastated. Devastated. It was, it's horrible. It's losing your teammate. Well, you know, you lose your partner in life. You lose everything. And I didn't expect it. You know, I wasn't prepared for it. I really, I had no idea. I always thought that, you know, it would be me to go first. I was working like an animal. I was happy to do it.

You know, his family lived to all of them, lived to 100. And I was like, this guy should outlive us all. It was kind of a joke around all of us. What were the circumstances around his death? It was seven. We were on vacation in Croatia. He had written me in October of 21. And he said, we've done a lot over 36 years together. Let's go take some time to be mean you. And I said, can you wait till August of 2022?

It's our 30th company convention. And I want to just make it the best thing we've ever seen. He said, you're right. I don't know if we'll ever see one again. And he went on that stage. He performed for four days. I performed for four days. We went to Ben and Jennifer's wedding in Savannah, the two days later.

And two days later, he got on the plane to Croatia. I chartered a gorgeous, you know, beautiful boat in the med. And three days in, he had a pulmonary embolism, just died instantly from the vaccine. Yeah, from the booster. Yeah, lost him. No notice, no plan. Woke up that morning. He had been quiet for a couple of days.

I'm like, are you okay? He's like, yeah, babe, I'm just, I can't believe you made this happen. After all we've done, we're going away. I said, well, when are we going back is that it doesn't matter? we'll figure it out. I was like, okay. And we got on that boat. And that morning he was,

I was going to take him to see the falls in Croatia. Croatia, the odd thing is Croatia was always on his bucket list. We had never been there. And I kept saying, why do you want to go to Croatia? Not that I had anything against it. Why not Paris again? Why not, you know, Europe? Why not Italy?

Why not do some of the things we like doing? And he was like, I want to go to Croatia. I was like, okay. He was quiet. And I could tell his knee had stiffened up. And he had a sports injury from playing sports his whole life. And he was going to have it looked up by the Real Madrid coach. The doctor was going to look at it for us.

Two days later, we never made it. He woke up that morning and said, I love you. And you have made me the happiest man in the world. And I just want you to know that. And I said, why are you saying that to me? Why would you tell me something like that? That's crazy. Because saying I love you was very easy.

Like you flipped me over all times of the night. Turnover, baby. I want to hold you this way. this way, I want to hold you this way. I love you was easy. But you know when somebody's super successful, you never really know how to satisfy the appetite. So you don't know what really makes them happy or if they're

completely content or if they're full. And I needed to hear that in that moment, but I didn't know why he was saying it to me in that moment. And I said, well, don't say that. Of course you make me happy. Why are you saying it like daddy? He said, I just want you to know, you have made me the happiest person. and I don't need to go walk the falls because I won't be able to, my knee is stiffened up. I want you to go.

And I was like, no, no, I'm not going to go, and we didn't. And, you know, within hours, he took a deep breath, and that was his last breath, and that was end of it. Do you think he knew? I think, I'll tell you what I think. I'll tell you, I would have never thought that anyone can know. I think God has it written for us, and I would have never believed it until now.

I think that he had some innate sense, something was very wrong in the last 24 hours. that somebody, I don't know if it's a spiritual God, I don't know what it is. Because I didn't, would have never thought those things beforehand. I think that somebody comes to you after and says, wrap it up. You know, I think that's what happens because we found a beautiful letter that's in the book about that he had written that we found in his draft folder. I said, thank you for this beautiful journey and all the people we've touched.

But our miraculous, turbulent, beautiful love story will be one that will live with me forever. You can be me now. I love you. So he had, there was something. There was something there. Had no idea it was sick. And he wasn't sick. That's the funny thing.

It was just a clot. And we had tested his blood right before he did the second booster. Tested it right after him. We did see something on the test on the second test. I said, why is his plate let's up? And they were like, it's nothing. It's probably drank coffee. I had a meal before he took the blood test.

They were like, go on your journey. We'll see you when you're back. When you talk about a vaccine injury, it's something that I've only heard about off air. People don't, they don't come on air and they don't talk about it. And I can tell you I've heard a lot of vaccine injuries off air from doctors and scientists. Oh no, we knew. And I think it's commendable that you're actually coming out and talking about this.

How did you find out that that's what it was? You know, I'll be honest with you. It's a really good question. I didn't realize it at first. Even though I knew his blood work was off and I showed it to him. I said, Jare, your blood work is off. Do you want to get on that boat? You want to go to Jen and Benz?

I don't know if we should. And he's like, of course we're going. I'm an animal. We're fine. We're good. Everything's fine. We're going. The blood must be off because I ate in the morning.

You know, he made excuses for it. But when we came home, you know, to bring Jera home, it took David and Victoria Beckham got involved. They had to call people who spoke the land, you know, who would speak English and help translate from me. To get his body back? Yeah, they weren't going to let me take him home. Because he was in Croatia.

We were in Croatia. And they were like, you can't bring him home. I was like, you don't understand. I'm not leaving here without him. He's my husband. He's meaningless to you. He's everything to me. They were like, well, it's not going to happen.

It could take a month. And I had so many friends from Alejandro sons, David and Victoria, David and Isabella, everybody was getting involved trying to find people to help me. Sure enough, six days later, we were able to bring him home, get a plane, bring him home. And when we got there, they tried to tell me he wasn't going to fit on the plane. I said, listen, we're going to take him out. And he's going to lay right beside him. me. We're going to take that journey together. And I did that to bring him home because I wasn't

going to leave him there. When we landed, it was like four in the morning. And I didn't want, I knew that the press was at a different airport. And I said, I'm not going to get him up from reroute. Took him off the plane. The next morning, I heard people in the kitchen. I had not slept. It's like two hours. I got in rest. Hadn slept this whole week. And I went downstairs and I heard everybody whispering. I said, why are you guys whispering? What is going on? I said, the funeral home called and said that J.R. was deteriorating. I said, well, that's impossible. The ambassador made sure that I embalmed J.R. Because they weren't going to, it's the law to bring a body into the United States. You have to embalm them to bring them home. And I did. I paid for it and they did it.

I said, well, they want to speak to you. I went there. And he said, well, there was entry points. But they were not able to embalm them. So I called immediately Croatia. Little did I know that they did me a favor. They signed those papers. And he told me we had never seen a cloth that big. It was so long and stringy that the fluid wouldn't flow through his body. And we've only seen that from the United States vaccine. And so at that moment, everything came together and I realized I was like, oh my God, this just happened. I can't believe this was it. Because I had COVID four times and I didn't get the booster. And he kept saying, why aren't you getting? I said, I had COVID four times. He goes, well, I didn't get it. And when I had COVID,

Dera was like, you come behind me, wouldn't leave me alone. He was like, I'm going to sleep with you. I was like, you can't. I have COVID. I'm going to sleep in the guest house. And I'd wake up and he'd be in the bed. You know what I mean? And I was like, what are you doing? Oh my God. It's like whackamol. Yeah, it's like crazy. But he never got it. So he thought the booster worked. Or maybe he got it and this never had any symptoms and who knows. But yeah, I mean, it's frustrating that so many people are finding out about these things after the fact. And it's even more infuriating and frustrating that there was this pressure during that time to not raise hands and ask questions and speak. I mean, like, doing this show, we can't ask a question. We got pushed back all the time during that time for talking.

Someone wants to inject something in your body and you can't ask a question. It's the weirdest. I feel like I'm on Mars. You can't ask the question. We're aliens. And by the way, not only can you not ask a question, maybe I have 20 questions. That's it. Maybe you have 20. Exactly. And why are you forced me to take it right now without me even knowing about it. Also, let me think about it. Yeah, let me think about it. I don't make decisions. When you make a business decision, you sit and settle with it.

No, I settle with it. I don't make, if I don't know what to do, let me tell what my rule is. Do nothing. It's the best. That's the best thing ever. Do nothing. Jerry says, if you don't know what to do, Lauren, do nothing. It's my favorite thing ever.

But yet there was like, get it right now. You know what? You didn't have time to think. It didn't. He really believed in any other time. honestly, he wanted to listen to the government. But he took it. You know, he was 18 years older.

He thought, maybe I need it. How old was he when he passed? Almost 70. Okay. Yeah. So when you start talking about this, you obviously have a lot of high-profile friends. Are you getting pushback or are people like, thank God? I think that people, you know, who are okay with me talking about it.

I haven't gotten any pushback from any of my friends. So like there's not like weird government high up people contact. you. I've had people contact me to talk about it for sure or to stop me from talking about it. Yeah, that's what I mean. And I think that I just won't do it. This is your experience. Imagine not being able to talk about your experience. I think that's the pressure that I'm talking. I was like, people had a specific experience. And there's like, okay, even if you had that experience, like, don't question or talk about it. Like, that's not, it's not fair to those individuals. I mean, it's so unfair. It's so unfair. And it's a story that's going to be told. It's going to,

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you'll want to catch every minute of Kate Hudson proving the haters wrong while everyone tries to block our shot. Running Point is now streaming only on Netflix. Get ready to binge your new favorite comedy. I'm telling you, this is one that I put my kids to bed early. I dim the lights. I got my snacks. I got my blanket and I was ready to watch. You'll love it. Running Point is now streaming only on Netflix. Get ready to binge your new favorite comedy. So I just wonder because you have such a voice and a platform and, you know, all the things that I just wonder if there's people who want you to basically shut up. I'm sure. Yeah. I'm really sure that there is. And I just for me, I just will only share it with people. And that's, I think, a big part of the message. Just us too and the couple of

Yes, us too and a couple listeners. But, you know, I feel like it's a story that has to be told at some point. It's one that we have to see. It's like you said, I want to make that decision. It should be my choice. You know, there was a time you couldn't even be in New York and you couldn't go anywhere unless you took the vaccine. Yep.

Remember that. It's kind of crazy. You know, at least Florida, you know, if we could get away with not taking the vaccine. But he just, you know, was told, okay, this is the age. This is the age. I got to take it. She had COVID four times. I didn't.

And so he believed it. Never once did we say, what are we doing until he took the booster? And he said, why aren't you taking it? It's because this isn't done shit for me. I've had COVID so many times, you know, and so I didn't. So looking back, you obviously wish to. No, I'm mad at myself. I even had him, let him do it.

I'm mad at myself for letting do it. Well, you didn't, I mean, you know, but you know, you go through that. You go, the journey of grief is one I cannot ever. I don't wish on anybody. I had, I lost my mom. She was young. I lost my dad when he was young. I knew grief.

I didn't know anything like this. You know, it's like I know how much you guys love each other. I see it all over you guys. I didn't know how I was going to survive it. I really didn't. I didn't know how I was going to come out of it. I didn't know if I could come out of it. As strong as I was, it wasn't until Serena Williams, you know, had sent me a passage one day.

And in that passage, she was sending me passages every day. She's such a great friend of mine. And in that was this advertisement from Miami for like a small, group that was going on on Mondays. And I decided, you know what I'm going to go? I had fired like four therapists because everybody's like, are you going to date again? Are you going to this again?

I was like, damn, I'm just trying to survive, man. I'm trying to find myself again. I was trying to find me again. You know, I was in charge of my house. I was the boss of us. I was like, you know what I mean? He liked that. He liked that I took care of our family.

And so now I was all that confidence he had instilled in me. I'd lost it all. And that was like starting over again was the most painful experience of my life. And how do you replace such a presence that is a partner like that? It just was the worst feeling. You cannot. When I lost there, it was like a hundred times worse than losing my own parents. I knew him longer. I loved him with my life. The guy who believed in me, the guy who saw things in me, the guy who would have entrusted me with anything. And the things he even wrote to me it then, even in his will about how

I changed his life, the things that, you know, he wrote me 5,000 love letters, by the way. Oh, okay. Well, you better fucking get to start to get it. Where is my 5,000 love letters? How do you know how he wrote you 5,000? Because I, as a psychopath that I was

after he passed away and I was a lunatic, you know, mad, angry, I searched our homes, I found everything he had, I saved him all. You got about 4,500 to go. Yeah, you got got a lot to go, baby. But here's the thing.

Until 70, so I got, you know. You got time. I got time. But do a lot. But here's the thing. I used to say to him, like, he could be sitting where you guys are and write me. And I say, why are you writing me when I'm right here? He's like, because I don't want you to misunderstand anything I have to say about you because I love you.

And I want you to know it always. He sounds like a very special. Well, he was very special. He was a pain in the ass too. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, they all are. There was days that there's pain in the ass days. But when I say, he was a pain in the ass days.

But when I said. say love, he knew how to express it. When I look back at some of the letters, like, early day letters are funny because they would go like, I like you so much, don't let it go to your head, don't try to control everything, I'm just trying to be a good guy. And then the next letter would be like, I love you so much. But our journey was, as he said in the end, very turbulent and very much full of love and adventure. And I think that, you know, when I think about the journey of that relationship, working it out no matter what. You know, I used to be pissed off at the end of the day. I'd be like, I'm done. You know, we're going to get a divorce. He's like, why do you

throw that word out so easy? He says whenever I say that word, he gets so mad. Oh, he would like be Michael gets mad too. James gets so upset. And why put that in the ether? And why put that out there? And he would go to our daughter. He's like, your mother's so mean. She throws that word out so easily and I was like, I'm done. And then he'd be like, you, you can't leave me. I'll kill you. You can't. And, you know, it took me a while to really understand that he didn't want to use words like

that. Yeah, I get that. I don't, I think like, you know, words have power. They do. And he didn't like it. Sometimes women just want like a period effect. That's it. And that word like really like drives it home.

God, it's like, wake up. I know. Some people can throw a word around at, you know, they throw it around, flippantly, but if you throw it around enough, and it actually becomes a reality, I think that's when people, it's like... Well, he used to say, Lauren, your words are powerful. Every time he used to say, like, if I could think something,

he's like, be careful what you think, Lauren, it always happens. And then after we've been super successful, had lots of homes in our life, he's like, stop thinking about houses. Stop. He's like, stop. I don't want anymore. We can't have anymore. You don't need anymore. We don't need anything. I was like, okay. What was that like for you guys as a couple

who, as you said, came from sort of nothing. No, zero. And making all of this money together, how, and when you did realize how much money the company was doing, what was that like? It was so funny. Did you start going on a buying spree? No, it was, it was funny because he never saw money as a scoreboard.

He didn't want me to see it. He didn't want us to have actually put it away, reinvest it in the company. He kept you humble. He kept us humble. He used to say, don't forget where we came from. We'll never find our way back, Lauren. And so we had gone. grown to, by the time we were doing six, eight hundred million dollars a year, it was the time I was

like, you know, what's going to happen now? He's like, nothing. All we can do is help more people, help more people to become entrepreneurs. That's all I care about. And that's where he would spend his time is helping these people have their own home-based business, their own, you know, marketamerica shop.com store, and that meant so much to him. And, you know, I never really asked. I made my own money. I never really asked me. He paid me well. I never asked him for anything, you know, I live by a real strict budget. He made me go through the budgets every month, house budgets every month. He made me understand him. If something was $25 over on a light bill, he'd say, why do you think it's over on this? I was like, I don't know, but I'll pitch in the

25 if it'll help. You know what I mean? The conversation from stopping. I would just be like, are you serious? But that's what made him great. How did you guys manage the people around you when you start having that kind of success? Because I imagine that that can be a challenge. It was challenge. That's always the hardest challenge. I don't know that we have this. solution for that still. I still think that you have to build a solid team around you. But one thing I've realized is instead of me having a lot of people, I keep a very little circle around me. And I make sure those people have a lot more people than me. And the reason why I do that is I'm better off with a small group I have to deal with that I can trust. How do you do that with your employees?

I got to tell you, I am really conscious of it. I just You can ask anybody in my house, the manager, the house manager, they all have assistance, but I won't. I'm like, you know what? Because you guys get what you need to help support my needs, but I just want to deal with the three of you. And it has worked for me. And Jared was very private. He did not want a whole lot of people in the house. If he wanted eggs, he wanted me to go get them.

You know what I mean? If he wanted cereal at night, he's like, can you get me some cereal? He didn't want a bunch of help. He didn't. He really liked having his own little world with me. And I think in many ways, I used to think, you do realize how much I do all day, right? Like, it's like, yeah, I love it. I love how much you do.

I mean so much to me that you care about us. How were you guys able to have antennas for people who were around you both for the wrong reasons? I think I just became so guarded. Yeah. I became so guarded. I became, you know, you become very protective and very conscious of what's around you. You guys know you have to do that. You have to do that.

It's very important that we're aware that we don't put too many people in the circle that you've checked. Every time somebody would say, hey, can we come over the boat tonight and bring our new friends? I was like, do you have a resume for them? Because you know, you're conscious. You're aware. You want to be sure of who's in that circle. Jair had this really strict rule. If they had a negative attitude, he did not want them around him.

I don't blame him. He did not want that. I think like you want to help people and you want to bring people up. But then at the same time, like you want to make sure people are there for the right reasons. You want to make sure people want the same thing you want. Or, you know, even if it were like my dad, when I first, you know, started dating my dad. I mean, my husband, JR, my dad was very, very not happy with that. He wasn't approving of that.

He didn't like it because of who he was or because the age difference. He just didn't like that. He didn't have any money. And he didn't like there was an age difference. He made up for it. He made up for him much later. Like what dad does, you know. But my dad was a pain in the ass and he wasn't, didn't really care about what I wanted.

What he cared about was what he. he wanted. And no offense, I love my dad. God bless him up there. But, you know, at 19 years old, he was like, you're going to go be a flight attendant. I was like, I don't want to be a flight attendant. He's like, well, you're living in my house. You're going to go get a job. I was like, no, we are. I'm with this new boyfriend of mine and we're going to have the mall without walls. And one day people are going to buy whatever they want need right online. He was like, well, that's nonsense. It won't happen. They got me in the car, drove me and made me stand in line in North Carolina with 300 people waiting in line, okay, who all wanted to be a job as a flight attendant. Not that there's anything

wrong with being a flight attendant. I'm afraid of fly. So I didn't want to do it. So by the time they called my name up there, they were like, what makes you want to fly the friendly skies? It was Eastern Airlines, which is way before your time. And they were like, what makes you want to fly? I said, I don't. I don't even like your airlines. I like American. I don't like anything about your airlines. I don't want to do this. And I did set all the things not to get the job. I got the job. One week later, I had to go to report to Atlanta and train for four weeks. J.R. picked me up at the airport and said, listen, Lauren, after I got back from training, he said, if you don't go home right now and tell your father that you don't want to do this,

you're going to become a version of yourself, you don't recognize. You're going to become a person you never meant to be. You've got to tell them right now. I went home. I told him, Dad, this is the end of my days of flying the friendly skies. I packed my bag and showed up at his house. That was the only part I didn't tell J.R. I didn't tell him I was going to move in with him at that moment, but I did. And that was really the beginning of our journey. And when I think about all of those lessons along my lifetime and all the things that we did, you know, he must have thought I was crazy. This girl's 18, 19 years old showing up on my doorway with her bags. Her dad basically

told her, get out of the house. And he did. One thing I find so impressive about your whole journey is you guys, it's a 30-year build of a company, correct? 33 today. 33 today? Today? And this month coming up. We're coming up. One more month will be 33 years. When you guys set out to do this, did you have a strategic plan? Did you and JR talk about selling it? Was there like what was the longevity plan? He wanted to stay with it forever. Okay. So is that what you do? I don't know what I'll do. I think this, that's where I want to go. That's what I want to do. Right now, I'm in this phase of I love, you know, seeing the future way ahead. And so. I'm thinking about where the internet will be.

And I think it will move forward into live shopping. I think it will do, you know, we don't need TVs anymore. They're not in necessity, right? They're an accessory today. So I have to see things differently. I think more products will sell on podcast than anywhere. I think more products will sell on live TV through a phone. I think I have to think about outside of the box moving people out of just realizing

they're not going to be on their computer. I think they'll become a very, a time. very soon where people can, you know, pick the water, customize the water just the way they want it and have it send to them. I think, you know, we're moving into a different phase and I'm really preparing my team. And, you know, my brother who, Mark, who's the president of our company, is right there with me. Like right now we've been full strategy, how we're going to prep our team. And it's hard for them to grasp that sometimes. But that's where I'm going.

I'm five to ten years ahead right now. And I think if you're not thinking that way, you're going to have a problem. We have to be prepared for that. And I never did that before. I think it's happening from upstairs. Ah. Yeah, I think he's sending that messages to me. So I think I know what to do.

He was a visionary. He would, he'd always see things before they'd happen. And I feel like, you know, he's sending that to me now. And that's why I'm working on it now. How are you in the boardroom with a bunch of guys? Oh, I'm tough. I want to know exactly. I'm not going to lie.

Yeah, what is it look like? If I said I was nice and sweet, they would be laughing behind my back right now. I'm tough. Jerry used to tell me you're a person who doesn't produce a non-producing person's nightmare. Lauren, I'm tough. I like to get it done. I want people to think logically. I didn't get to go to college.

You know, we didn't have the money. I had to do everything from, you know, hard work. I had to blood, sweat and tears. I had to prove myself. My brothers had college educations. I didn't. I needed to work harder. Everybody on my team, I wanted to work harder than everybody.

All of the vice, we have 10 vice presidents. I wanted to work harder than all of them. I wanted Jared to see me instead of seeing them. And so I worked to show off for him. I didn't care what other people think. I wanted to know what he thought. And because of it, I think he was blown away. And because of it, you know, I would make sure it would work.

And, you know, I got to the point where he'd be like, okay, how do you know this is going to work? What you're going to do? I was like, because we're going to make it work. And I'd learn that from him when we first started. So, you know, I think it's a whole new world today. I don't think it's about e-commerce. I do think that right now even you guys.

I think you sit, you know, I know you have your mouth tape, right? Which I love that. I love it. I can't wait to use that tonight. But I think like this is where products are going to move. And I think people need to understand. It's about authentic conversation, which is why I love you guys, that authentic, real, and more than authentic.

I prefer the word transparent. I like the word transparent because that's what conversations really move product. It's funny like doing it. Obviously I run like front facing people. He's in a podcast business. But I just look at it as an aggregator of attention. First of all, you guys are an aggregator of great people, great products. That's very nice.

It's way more than attention. It's way more than that. It's what you guys are doing is highlighting great people because you're great people. You're getting people. When I watch you guys, I'm watching you guys because I actually love you guys. I feel like you've invited us in your living room, your family. That's how I see it. And that's what will move more product than anything.

That moves the needle. Not just not, and that's where I'm trying to get my team to understand. And it's not about just what's happening online anymore. We can't think that way. If we want to be innovators and move with the times, we've got to be able to think much bigger. Yeah, well, and like, I appreciate you saying that so nice. But selfishly, what I tell people all the time,

like, Lauren and I get the benefit of sitting with people like yourself all the time. Right. And so for us, like, you're right. You kind of have to, like, move with it. But also, like, you learn things and you see things maybe before they start to happen on a mainstream level. You guys are seeing things before. they have. But that's what I'm saying is you see it because of the kind of the dial.

It's just like a pattern. But you couldn't see it if you weren't, you weren't it. You just couldn't see it if you weren't it. Trust me. I can. I'll take that from the queen entrepreneur. I'm telling you guys. The fact that you guys can see it means you have it. And the reason why I know it is that, you know, Jerry used to tell it to me all the time when I was unsure of myself, you know, the first time that he told me, do you believe in this? And he said, you have to speak. I was like, I can't. I'm afraid to speak in front of people. I'm 18. I don't speak. And I passed out in front of like 10 people. I was so embarrassed. And he was like, get up. Get up. You were amazing. I was like, I was awful. I wanted to break up with him. I just wanted to go back to North Carolina at that time. And I was from Florida, but I'd met him in North Carolina. And I was like, I just don't want to do this again. And he goes, Lauren, you're going to be the greatest female speaker one day. You just don't know it. And now you speak everywhere. Well, it's just now I speak in front of 20,000 people, you know, 15,000. thousand people. I do it all the time, but it's part of who I am, it's my DNA. But it never was in the beginning. It took me time. And I just kept trying. And it's when you can see that in

somebody like he saw it in me or I can see it in you guys. You know, that's because you have it in you. It's like when I watch you guys, when I saw her mouth table, I was like, I'm getting that. I'd already bought a whole bunch. Don't you worry. But my point is, I'll take it anyway. You're not taking it. But my point is this. There's so much more. This is just the beginning. Yeah. What is, what do you specifically look for at this point in your career when, when talent either comes to work with you for you or when you're looking, you know, at opportunities? I just want people to be innovative. I want people to think outside the box. I want people to come with opinions, ideas. It's, it's, it's, I don't believe in the time where people should go into a boardroom and not have a thought, not have an opinion, not have a, you know, you want to go make it happen attitude. Just don't be like rah, Ron, yes me. I want you to tell me what we're going to do. Tell me what excites you. Tell me what's going to. Tell me what's going to. Tell me what's going to. move people. What will move the needle? I think that people stop thinking. And that drives me nuts because there's so much up here and we don't share it. And so often, like, I'm always promoting

people to a different level because I look for them. I'm like, I don't care if you started at nothing. You know, I want you to be the biggest thing ever, but you got to think. You got to think, you got to tell me, how are you going to do it? How are we going to get there? You know, Christian, who I brought here with me today had been working with J.R. for years behind the scene. you know, backstage, walking with us, taking care of us on the stage. As soon as JR passed away, he saw me trying to become two people. I was now two people who had not replaced myself. Because remember, I worked for JR.

I was one of his, you know, as the senior vice president, I was one of his people. And then I had to figure out a way, how was I going to do that job and my job? And he stepped right in. He started to pick up saying, I'm going to help you do this. I'll help you do this. He would help my brother, Mark, do that. Before you know it, I was like, okay, guess what? you're going to become an executive vice president.

He was like, really? I was like, yeah. So you can change someone's life if they start to help you change others. I also think what you said that's so important too. It's like if you're working for someone or you're on a team, always give extra added value. You do. When you're like, that's not my job. Oh, God.

I tune out. I'm not that. That's not a good thing around me. It's like how can you add more value, which then adds more salary, which then adds more title. And by the way, isn't it better to have? I'd rather have fewer people with a lot bigger salaries than a lot of people who are not thinking outside the box.

How big is the company now? Well, right now we're about 980 employees. There's 180,000, you know, Market America shop.com salespeople, sell little entrepreneurs who sell our products all over the world. And, you know, we're doing about $700 million. hour's year right now. We took a dive when JR passed away and then I got right back to work and at first I let it happen

for a moment. I wanted people to know that he had such a big contribution to who we were. What a wife. And I was like, you know what? Let everything crash and burn when I'm gone to let it go and they're saying. You know what I'm saying for a moment? Because here's what happens. And they know this.

I wrote this in the book. I was very transparent. I was angry. You know, there's an angry Lauren in chapter one and by the end I started to find myself again. But I wanted people to understand. See, there was this beautiful team that we had built, but some of them always think they know more than others. And they were like, well, we should do it this way, J.R. and, you know, do it that way. And it's not that some of them didn't have great ideas or all of them at some point, but some things Jair just knew. And Jair used to say to me, maybe I'm not

needed any, need it anymore. I said, stop saying that. You're our leader. Of course you are. Don't ever say that, by the way, until you're ready to really mean it, because They say that once you say it, yeah, you got to be careful of that. They say once you, I didn't hear that till later. It says until once you start to say that, then you know God can call for you. That's what I'm talking about with language. I'm very careful, actually, about like these serious things that I say. That's interesting that he started to say that.

Well, he would say a couple times towards the very end. He'd say, you know, maybe I'm not needing anymore. It's like, that's not true. He's like, no, I know you need me. Maybe I'm not need anymore. And by the way, don't you ever worry. You can always do this without me. always make it. But I think when people's, you know, their egos get in the way, right? And when that

happens, it gets messy. And when he passed away, those egos couldn't save anything. And I wasn't in a rush. I needed to go through what I needed to go through. And it wasn't until I called Mark. And I said, Mark, let's get in there and go back to work. I'm going to leave next week on a tour. I'm going to go back out in the field. I'm going to go back out to our leaders. And I'm going to travel to 32 cities and I'm going to show up because are you crazy? I said, nope, just let's get a plane and let's go next week. And we did. And things started to escalate back up again. And now, you know, we're back to doing almost where we were when Jared passed away. But it's been a journey. And for me, it's more about, I only want to do it if I can change somebody's life because

there's no amount of money that can change my life or my kid's life anymore. But there are many more people we can help. And that's why I only want to work around innovators. That's only, that's the reason I only care about working around the best of the best. You know what I mean? I think that's what's so interesting about you, too. Another reason I wanted you on the podcast is you don't need to write this book for money, for fame, for a business card. Like, it seems to me that you wrote this book to help other people and also at the same time

heal yourself. I did. And almost as an homage to your husband. To him. To him. I wanted the story to be told about him. But I also, I was mad at my husband. I didn't see how important when he would say words have meaning, Lauren.

You know, and I would be like, oh, don't be ridiculous. You know, I love you. I'm just kidding with you when I say things or, you know, or he was incredibly sensitive towards and I didn't see it at the time. You know, I would be like, it's okay, get over, don't be a baby. And we got really good in the last 10 years of life of sitting down and saying, you guys should do this, sitting down. And he would say, every six months, I want us to sit down and say what we don't like about

each other so we can work on it. Ooh. And I say, really? How do we do that? And he's like, well, during that hour or two, we can't be mad at each other for whatever we say. And we have to take it and walk away and say, you know what, I'm going to accept that. I understand how you feel and I don't want you to feel that way. That's hard.

And it's hard to do. And how do you, what was the exercise to not be defensive? Well, it was hard. We just had a really practice discipline, and he was disciplined. I wasn't. I'm the loose canon, you know, I'm the loud one, the boisterous one, the one who was in charge. Let's do an exercise. Who's the loose canon in this relationship?

Me. It's Lauren and Lauren. I just want to see where we're out with a self-awareness today. Sorry, I bring color into your life. I love it. Yes. Thank God. She's bringing the color of your life. Sorry about gray.

But he would say things like, I don't like when you always take your brother's side in the middle of a business meeting. And I would say, don't be a baby, Derek. Come on. Are you kidding me? It's ridiculous. You're the leader of this company. It's my brother.

What do you expect? He's like, it really hurts me. Because I want to know, do you agree with me? I was like, yeah. He's like, well, then can't you show it to me? So I started to change the way I spoke to him. And I would say things like, I understand how you feel. I don't want you to feel that way.

Let's work on that. And he felt seen. Even if I didn't agree with him, I changed the way. I spoke to him. And people around me saw that. And it changed our relationship. even better than what it was. He sounds like really effective with how he's like,

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and you love each other so much, you can start to be liberal with words because you're in such a safe space. You are in a safe space. You say things to people that you would never say to another colleague or friend because if you said it, it's almost absurdly.

You know if you said it to somebody else, even if they're a close friend of yours, it would potentially tarnish the relationship. But when you're in an intimate relationship, you'll say things. So I always tell her all the time, I'm like, whenever we're having those rights, I'm like, talk to me as if you're talking to so,

one-so person or someone you respect because you would never you would never say something like that. I love that you. Yes, I know exactly what you're saying and you're very much like J.R. And she's very much like me and I love you for saying it because he's right. At the end of the day, I've learned it the hard way. I've learned it the hard way because I was the, you know, and not by the way, Jara loved me because I brought the color just like you did. She knows I'm not going anywhere. Of course. And so she feels, you know, you can take, and I'm not, listen, I'm not complaining. But I think, again, if you have enough of that for a long enough period of time, harmful. Of course. And you know what's so great about it is that you understand that, that you say

that, because it's true. And when you would think about the kind of conversations, when you know you can have such a safe space, and you can say things that you would never think to say to in a million years to anybody but this person, which, by the way, doesn't happen when people are married for 10 years. Sometimes they're not the one. You know what I mean? Sometimes it's very, sometimes it's very, sometimes it's you. Right. There's not everybody's going to be like you guys. They could be, how long have you guys been married? We've known each other since we were 12. Oh my God.

We've been married for, I don't know. Well, we got married in 2016, but we got together. You've been together your whole life, practically. Practically, but we had other liaisons. Oh, my God, love that. We were officially been together since I was 20 years old. I'm turning 38 in March. I love that.

But then, you know, when we're kids, we dated. But we've known each. I mean, so I guess like I've known her since. You've been in love with her your whole life. Well, listen, she. I was his first blowjob, so what's not to love? He got a blowjob from me, and he was like, damn, bitch, I don't need a blowjob from anyone else.

And he's like, that's it. You have what? Hope I didn't say, I'm done. Huckle line and sick. I'm done. No bullshit. I don't know what it is, but she showed up at school in the sixth grade. And listen, I was she looked so hot that you could have taken.

I was like four foot two. I didn't even gone, you know, I wasn't been growing up yet. She came in fully developed. Oh my God. So I had some little girlfriend at the time. I said, listen, I got to go. I got to go there. That's her.

It must have stuck. That's her. And you remember loving her that much then? I think it would, yes. I love that. I think it was also a bit of a lust situation going on. First of all, it's not a lust because you're still with her, but still lust. Because right now, don't forget she's pregnant.

Her dad caught us in the closet when we were 12 years old together naked. Stop! It was. Stop. That was messy. It was messy. We got in trouble. We got in big trouble.

Mom said to go to boarding school. Her dad were pulling her out. And I called my dad. I was like, I'm in real trouble. And all I heard on the other end of the. the phone was just laughter. I just think this story is just everything. That's why I love you guys.

Well, you guys are an inspiration with how you've worked together for so long. And I can say, I know this. He would be so proud of what you're doing at this moment with everything. To talk about it like this is incredible. I think this, it's just the journey of healing. It's the journey of figuring out

because I really didn't think I could get through it. I thought if I could do this, you know, I'll try my best to give it my best shot. You know, I've done it my whole life with him for 30 years, but let's see how it goes. But then I just heard him say, Lauren, come on. You've been doing this with me. It's not about the money. It's about who we can help get up and do it.

And I did. And the more I did it, the more I built my confidence back up. And now I get in the mirror and I'm like, okay, Lauren, you're great. Let's go to work today. Let's do it. You got to show up for yourself. And, you know, you have to reinvent yourself. You have to figure out, like, nobody's going to come to your rescue.

You got to call 911 one on yourself. You got a, you know, recess. you've got to bring yourself back to life. And I think I've really done a good job doing that. And I'm proud of myself. But I do know that the book is more about finding yourself again. Because you can't write a book about grief. Because I can't fix that for somebody.

I can't fix it for me. It's going to be there forever. You will always want that Lauren and J.R. You will always want the old days of Lauren and J.R. But you have to realize that Lauren has this new journey and she's going to go on it. She's going to make it the best she can. And I think it's when, you know, my grandson wrote to Santa for Christmas.

He wrote, Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is the new Darth Vader helmet and for my Mimi to be okay again without my Bob Bob. Oh my gosh. That messed me up. And I said, I'm going to do my best to show up for these kids and put a smile on my face. And I saw an interview where Amber, my daughter, had done an interview. And I think, you know, one of my friends, like Alicia Keys or somebody sent it to me. And it said, how are you doing? And she lost her dad.

And she said, I didn't just lose my dad. I lost my mom, too. And I realized at that moment, I had not been really present for their grief because I was dear Abby. I was always there for everybody. The person that everybody called if they needed somebody back could not be fixed. I was unfixable for a long time. What were the things that pulled you out of that?

I, those two moments, those two moments of Aden writing that letter and Amber, hearing that story that Amber said that she had lost her mom too. And I, I got back up and I wrote a chapter about her in there about how sorry I am, I didn't see your grief. And I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge it. You know, and she was like organizing babysitting schedules and shit and calling all my friends. Alicia Keys was coming and spending the night on nights. Serena was coming. Everybody was coming. I was like, my friend's Mary, you know, everybody was coming. And I was like, I don't need a babysitter. I'm okay. I can manage this. And I was miserable. I didn't want my whole life, everybody, I fixed everything. So I didn't want to ask for help, but I needed it. And I couldn't get it from therapist because they were telling me, oh, just, you know, I couldn't find any tools from them. Not that they weren't good. I don't want to give that impression.

I just needed resources and I couldn't find any. And it wasn't until I said, you know what, I'm going to write this book. And I'm going to start keeping a journal. And I started to realize by the the end of that journal, I had written a book. And I figured it would help me. It helped me. Maybe it would help others. And I just now have leaned on people and it's okay to ask for help. And I wasn't used to that. And I wasn't, I was used to keeping my circle so small but afraid to ask. And now I started to ask. And you know, I was always the friend that, you know, did things for everybody. And right after Jared died, I'll never forget, Alicia Keys called me, said, listen to me. I'm going to organize your celebration of life. You're not going to do a thing.

You're not going to fly anybody in. You're not going to send any airplanes out for people. We're going to do it for you. Whoever wants to come will come. And it will be the most beautiful celebration of life. And I'm going to orchestrate it. You won't pay for it. And it will be the most beautiful thing because he has been so giving.

You have been so giving. And I walked in there. And it was a moment that I will never forget. Because I needed it at the time. I needed that support and I didn't know how to ask for it. And they gave it too many. It made the journey that much easier for me. So your first reaction would have been to like fly everyone in and organize it for everybody

and make sure everyone was comfortable. It was a big spectacular for him. And make sure it was great. But what she said is if they're really his friends, if they love you. If they love you. They'll be there. If they, yes, they'll be there anyway. You don't need to do a thing.

And everybody was like, she was tough. She was telling us, you're going to do this. You're going to do this. And everybody was coming going, you know, like she's only giving. It was like two minutes to speak and stuff. And I was like, I don't want to get involved. I was already overwhelmed. I was already dealing with so much.

And she took it on and I will never, ever forget it at a time I really needed it. And Serena too. You know, I had reached out to Serena when I asked her to do. Serena came a lot. She would come a lot. She suffered a pulmonary ambellism. She was one of the few who survived. She discovered hers by working out.

She was in her gym with her physical trainer. What does it feel like? Well, you don't know, because we don't talk about it. But it's like you take, you know, lose breath. You struggle with your breath. Circulation, maybe. Tightness, redness around the skin. But we didn't think for one moment because he had this knee injury.

This is where the blood clot was hiding. So we couldn't see it. She was working out. The physical trainer looked her and said, you need to go. You don't know it. You just die. And she was in the gym. She's lifting away.

Physical trainer. She tells the story so amazing. Physical trainer looked at her. and said, you need a good emergency room right now. You're not going to make it otherwise. You have a pulmonary embolism. You got to go right now. She wasn't such a high performing team.

There's likely wouldn't have caught it. Can you believe that? What do they do for it? Well, by the way, there's a way to treat it. They give you aspirin. They can, you know, wait for it to dissolve. But you have to be in a medical care. Like she was four months, I think, Serene.

I can't remember exactly how long. Four months it took for it to totally dissolve. Like if she was alone likely would have been done, huh? Oh, no. And she had not had gone. to the hospital that day. She said she would. And she was supposed to go the day before to London, she said.

She said she canceled that flight. She said, how did I not have? I would have come back home like in a body bag like JR. And so, you know, she was one of the lucky ones, you know. But she had, she had saw me and go through it. She had lost her sister in a drive-by. She had no, she knew what grief was like. And she really helped me on the journey of just reminding me that we always will be together

again. You have a beautiful story. There's a lot of people that I'm sure follow you and admire you that look at the success you guys have had and put it on a pedestal and emulate it and want to follow in a similar path. What's something that maybe people misconceive about success in what comes with it? I think that they don't realize that it can be very lonely at the top. And I think that they also don't realize that there's so much more that goes into being successful as being an innovator. It's thinking ahead. It's being smarter because you can have something today, but how many times or how many times do you hear about a company that's still around after 33 years?

It's really hard to do that. And that takes real effort, real thought, real teamwork. You need to have the right team around you. And we talked about this already. And I think that people don't understand that it's, it can't be about money. It can never be the scoreboard. What it really has to be about is what the vision is. Where do I hope to go?

What's the mission behind this? How many people can I help? Because if you're not helping people, what difference does it make? At the end of the day, what difference does it make? When I fell in love with J.R. had nothing to do with money. I fell in love with them because I felt like he made a difference in my life. And I feel like that's all that really matters.

And when you do it for the right reason, it will happen automatically. That's why you guys have in front of all of us have grown up and become what you are. because when you do it for the right reasons, it's going to happen. It's inevitable. You can't stop it. What I tell people is like... That's big, by the way.

Don't forget that. Listen, everyone wants to do well financially, but I almost feel like if that's your sole focus... Oh, you're never going to make it when you get there. It's also boring. First of all, if you're only focused on the figures, forget about it. It's not ever going to last.

It should be a byproduct. If you're only focused on the figures, forget about it. If your goal is to, Let me be a billionaire. What does that mean? Let me be a multimillioner. What does that mean?

How many people can we impact on the way? You know, Jerry says to say to me, in his will it said it. He wrote it. He said, I don't care about having the most money. I don't care about having the most things. I care about affecting the most people. That's all I care about. I said, Lauren, remember this for the rest of your journey when I'm not here.

Some people collect cars. Some people collect art. We collect people. Let's just collect people. And isn't that what you do really at the end of the day? That's why we do the show. Don't you just collect people? When you look at your collection, it's pretty amazing.

It's amazing to be able to talk to people like you and share all of the knowledge that you have with so many people. That's the best part of doing the show. You're the guys that are the best part about doing the show. I just want to be the facilitator. I love that, but it's so much more. I think like, you know, we've been fortunate to have some financial. success and at some point, to your point, like, how many things can you have that continue to be

interesting? And I know, listen, like, you know, there's a great quote that says like money only solves money problems. There's so many, so much more to life. But, you know, I hope that everybody reaches their financial dreams and realizes like there's so much more. And actually over time, it becomes so much less interesting. It does. To impact people, to talk to people to, to expand your life becomes so much more fulfilling. I think the funny thing about money is, is that when you have it, you realize how also it's a beautiful thing to be able to have the things you want, but life is really simple when you don't have to deal with all the big things. So, you know, like, even now in my life, I've really learned to try to simplify because I try to tell my kids, like, we don't need so many

places. I'm not going to go by myself. I'm not going to go. You're not going. The places that we don't go, we shouldn't keep. Why? Why, Mom? You don't need the money. And I'm like, because it's my peace of mind. I want to have my peace of mind. I want to spend my life not worrying about those things and spend my time with you. I totally get what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? The more, like I'm sure, the more houses that you have. The more problems, the more employees. The more people, the more things. In some point, you get to a place. And you know, Jerry used to say, I'm going to find a way to simplify for us. I'm going to find a way to simplify. And it wasn't so much. about the things, it was the extra things that took our space in time. He wanted to have more

time. He used to say, that's why he used to say to me, don't jump out of bed once you leave. I won't get you back till nighttime. And I didn't understand. And the thing I think I missed the most is the pillow talk. You know, how much pillow talk do you guys have? I'm so curious. It's a lot. It's all night, isn't it? It's like for as late as you can do it. We chat it up a lot. It's a beautiful thing. We chat so much I have to put mouth tape on. Right. But it's I love that. That's why she made mouth fake. The thing is, I could kind of chat.

J.R. was talking, you could have just put it on his state. I would have loved the mouth tape back then. I can carry the whole conversation and just watch for the eye reaction. Yesterday I was talking like this. You're hilarious. I can't like.

But think about it for a moment. Isn't it sometimes the best part of your day? You get in the bed? It better be the best part of yours. Is it your best part of your day? Well, and I think so for couples that can figure out how to work together, which as you know, it's not easy. And very few of us do.

But then, And later it's so rewarding because there's actual, I mean, not to say couples don't talk, but there's a lot to talk about. There's a whole lot to talk about. That's when we talk the most. We got on a plane last night to come to New York and I was sitting there thinking it's late at night. It's one in the morning on a plane. I'm tired. I'm dehydrated, et cetera, et cetera. And I thought there's no one else that I would rather do this with and I would never want to do this just alone as I'm building. Like it's fun to do it with your partner. Of course it is. That's rewarding. That's rewarding. That's rewarding. That's rewarding. That's what makes it worth the while. It's not about the journey so much as this, who you become on it. I feel like who is going to be able to date you after all this.

I don't know. Well, I say to myself, I asked my daughter and my granddaughter recently. I was like, you know, everybody always asked me, you know, when do you think you'll ever date again? And I'm like, right now I'm learning to fall in love with myself again. Yeah. And that's taking time. But my granddaughter said to me recently, she said, you know, Mimi, if you did, that Popup would just hate you, He would hate you.

He would come and haunt you. And Amber, I said, Amber, would you be okay? She said, I'd be traumatized. I'm not going to lie. I want you to do what you want to do. But I would be traumatized. And I think, like, I mean, people like Rutman and Fat Joe and Jamie Fox and all these guys would just never, ever go for it. You know, have all these big brothers who are like, turn off your DMs.

Yeah. Do not put your DMs on. Do you get DMs from a lot of guys? Yeah, I get strange DMs, you know, but I just turn them off. Believe me, these guys will pick up my phone and they're like, turn off the DMs, Lauren. And I've learned to realize that, you know what I find so special about my life now is when I pick up new people, pick up new friends. Yeah. And I feel like that's the greatest gift I have.

And so I've fallen in love with me and my friends again and being there for them. And I tell everybody in my circle that this is the journey I want to go on with you now. It's going to take a very, very, very special person. Oh God. I don't, I mean. He'd have to be so smart. because I'm really turned on by intelligence. Same.

Anything less wouldn't work for me. Sounds just like a lot of checkpoints. He's got to go through with some of these people in your life too. Now her. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I'm interested in me. I know. I got my question.

Lauren, no, Lauren's going to be like, no, no. I don't think so. I just think you guys are just everything, but I just don't know. I don't know what the future holds. That's the hard part. You know what I do daily now? And this is something, Angie Martinez and I were talking about the other day. I learned to rate myself two ways.

And I always did this with J.R. J.R. was very good at it. I told you, I could go at the end of the day and I say, like, I want a divorce today. I want to kill you today. Or today was a great day and I love you. But I've learned to keep them separate and I didn't know how to do that before. What do you mean?

Meaning every day at the end of the day, and I do this with my team, I say, rate yourself professionally today. Were you an eight? Were you a nine? Were you a 10? Were you a four? And then I rate myself personally. And, you know, the other day I was at a two or three. I was down.

I was feeling sad. And today is like an eight again. Good. And you can see growth that way. You can physically see growth. And here's the other good news. When you don't co-mingle them, you don't let one affect the other. So because sometimes if you have a shit day personally and your day at work is fantastic,

and you had a great, phenomenal, successful day. And you can see yourself on the journey. You're moving in the right direction. But it gets all screwed up by what happened to you. personally. And then you punish yourself and you're like, okay, I feel like I got nowhere. When you're going through this place that I've been, the only way I know how to do it is to separate the two because then I can really see the growth. It's a personal inventory too. It's really is a checkpoint. It's a check point. It's a check system. It's like a list. And so today

I was like, I was coming up the elevator. I was thinking, today I'm an eight. And I told Christian and my team when I was looking is like, I cannot wait to see them. I actually look forward to seeing you guys more than everybody I've talked to on this tour. because I just think you guys are so much like us and so fun and so full of life that this is just the beginning for you. What a compliment. I gotta keep you around. No, I just feel like it's amazing.

No, I just feel like a 10. Michael loves strong women. And so he just had two of the strongest women on the podcast. I don't think you could get strong. Well, yeah, Bethany. Bethany is incredibly strong. I love her. She's great.

She's so much fun. I love Bethany. I saw her outside and I was so happy to see her. And she's great. And I think that's why you love. Lauren, you're like dynamic women. You do. And they're not afraid.

Yeah, Franks and Notter said like what, it shouldn't be a staring contest. Yes, right. It should be. And you know what? You have such a beautiful wife. Oh, my. And she's so sweet and intelligent. She keeps showing your toes.

That's true. Yeah. You couldn't live without her. My hair's going gray. She's looking at you and I love that. I can't wait for my love note tonight. You better get busy writing. You better get busy writing.

I'll never let you live. I wish I wrote more. I wish I wrote more. But now. Amber and I do this thing that we send each other voice notes all the time and save them. And, you know, she'll send me a video, you know, when she's getting on a plane and come see me or vice versa. Does she work within your company? She does.

She has her own brand. She's super successful on her own. She makes her own money. And I always tell her, like, I'm always here for you. We got to interview her once. She's incredible. You know, she's a little dynamo powerhouse. And I'm so proud of who she is and what she's become.

And it's funny how the roles have had to reverse for a minute because, you know, I will. was always the caregiver for everybody. And, you know, she had to come in and be like, no, mom, I'm going to do this for you. You're not going to be alone. I need to have peace of mind, too. I'm sure she's dynamic with both your personalities mixed together. The two of us together can meet, you know, fire. Where can everyone find your books, support what you're doing, pimp yourself out?

I love you. Barnes & Nobles, Amazon, Target. You know, most everywhere where books are sold, and you can follow me on Lauren writing her at Instagram, Facebook. you'll watch this journey. We're coming in April. Oh, I can't. By the way, I can't wait for you to come.

We're going to come. Come stay with me because I've got plenty of places there. Come, everybody stays with me right now. Jamie Fox is there. Everybody's so hospitable over there. Every time we talk to somebody knew that we mean, they're like, it's a big staying here. Oh, no.

Ask Isabella. There's always somebody between one of our houses. I get super nervous. I'm like, I'm a hotel. You're sensitive to that. I love people who have kids around me. You know, I love kids. Be careful what you wish for.

No, no, I have three grandkids. So we love it. But I have a guest house and I have a house and an apartment. We're in good shape. Okay. All right. We're in good shape. I can't wait to see you guys.

Lauren, you're amazing. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I can't wait to see what's in store for you in this next chapter. I can't wait either. Well, you guys are going to be around. I can't wait for you to move to Florida. I'm going to Miami.