The Bossticks - New York City, The Ask Gary Vee Show, How to Interview, and Bad Bosses

Episode Date: March 23, 2016

#3: On this episode we recap our recent trip to New York City and our experience guest appearing on one of our favorite shows; The #AskGaryVee show with Gary Vaynerchuck (@garyvee). We cover Authenticity, Chasing Dour dreams, How To Interview and Bad Bosses To learn more about The Skinny Confidential visit the site HERE To connect with Lauryn click HERE To connect with Michael click HERE

Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her podcast. We are back with me, Michael, and Jordan, and we've got a lot of hot subjects to discuss today. Let's get right into it, shall we? Yeah, well, I think, first of all, I think everybody definitely, like, if you haven't listened to the first two podcasts, go and listen to them now because they're hilarious.

And they were also our first one, so we were kind of feeling it out and getting organized. We had to do some trial and error. There was a lot of likes being said, a lot of interruptions. A lot of interruptions. We're not going to interrupt, though. But guess what? We take constructive criticism and use it to fuel us.

Yeah. Yeah. Give us all your feedback, like write in, comment, snap us, tell us your feedback. We are here to kind of do trial and error. It's a new medium. It's a new medium. So definitely send whatever you guys. think about this podcast to us.

If you liked it better than the first two, we're working out the kinks. And you guys also got some practice, because last week you were in New York and you went on the Gary Vee show, right? Yeah, that's cool. I mean, really cool. And I think we'll get more into that in a little bit.

I think that me and Lauren was like a dream of both of ours to get on that show. It was kind of crazy how it all happened. So yeah, we'll get more into that. I want to talk first about Lauren's site redesign. It's pretty good, right? Yeah, I think it looks so excited. Finally, it's like I birthed a baby.

I was working on it probably every day for like nine months, and I'm such a perfectionist. The blog designer that I work with from BlogDoo wanted to kill me. Yeah, well, the best part is is Lauren goes into a cave and designs this thing for nine months without telling any of us. Oh, and also she has no background and anything technical. So me and Jordan are sitting here having a panic attack because, of course, the day of the launch,

there were about 75,000 problems that we had to deal with. I think I was on standby for like 48 hours straight. Just you're on standby, on standby, on standby. Maybe like you couldn't eat or drink or do anything. You were just on standby. No, here's the thing. I will like draw this picture out in my head and put it on a poster board and draw it out huge

and put it exactly how I want it. And then I expect the web designer to just get what's in my brain. So it took nine months back and forth and I don't involve anyone because I'm kind of one of those people that I would just rather do it than talk about it. And that's kind of exactly what I did. Basically, you took nine months and now the internet's gone.

There's a new medium. There's a new medium. There's a new medium. Nobody goes on blogs anymore. It was all worth it though. Blogs are out. I think it looks great. And if you haven't seen to check it out. Yeah, I definitely wanted to do something different than any other blogger.

I wanted to keep it simple, concise, and just have a place with a lot of interaction and engagement. it. So I added an Ask Lauren section, which you guys can go on and just ask me a question right then and there. And I try to get back to that like the next day, latest. And then we also have obviously our podcast section, which is really exciting. You can listen to the episodes right on the site. And then we added a book and bombshell body page that kind of breaks down both of those. And I also added some frequently asked questions. So go on there, check it out. Let me know what you think. Yeah. All right, moving along. So yeah, we just We're kind of, we're a little bit tired.

We've just, we traveled, like, we were just in New York, as a lot of you know. It was a fucking whirlwind. We stayed in two different hotels. You got some snow, right? We got some snow, which was cool. I got a tickle of snow. Lauren decided to bring, like, a paper skirt to New York and thought that was appropriate weather. I brought, like, shorts and a bikini top.

It's crazy because here in California, it's bright and sunny. You can, like, go to the pool and march, and the rest of the country, it's, like, freezing. Yeah, I mean, I'm like the worst when it comes to packing. I just kind of don't know where to go with it. Like if I'm going to hot weather, I'll bring like all these warm sweaters. And if I'm going to colder weather, I'll bring a bikini. So I need some help when it comes to packing. I'm kind of oblivious.

Well, it's amazing because every time we go somewhere like that, I say, hey, it's going to be really cold. He does. Make sure you pack really warm gear. And then we get there. And there's, what are those skirts called? Pencil skirt? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, a pencil skirt and a maxi. Yeah, and then, of course, she's freezing the whole time.

Yeah, it was like parka weather. Anyways, so there was that. And then when we were in New York, we got to go on the Gary Vee show. You guys saw that if you watched my blog. Like Michael said, it was a dream come true. He is, like, the Oprah of, I don't even know. Social media. I don't think, for anybody that's not familiar with Gary Vee,

also known, his bureau name is Gary Vaynerchuk. He is Van der Chalk He's a social media pioneer He was one of the first people To jump on the YouTube train back in I think 2005 or six

With the Wine Library, right? He had a company called Wine Library Now he has a company called Vayner Media which is a huge, huge media company they have clients like GE and Pepsi And you know I think he's got Six 700 employees It's pretty awesome

I mean it's definitely inspiring to see And he's a huge, huge media company And he's amazing. He's exactly how he is, you know, in real life. The way he got into the podcast was so amazing to watch. He's on episode 1.91, so we were immediately inspired. You have to check it out. It's on YouTube. And it's me, Michael, and another girl named Sarah. She went viral on YouTube. And we're just discussing influencer marketing. So check it out if you haven't seen it. And you can also find the link to that on one of Lauren's latest blog post, the hustling blog post. wrestling blog post, pixie's playing with her toy. Can you guys hear it in the background? Taylor's going to get it. She loves that toy. It's her gorilla. Sound guy, taking care of the chihuahua squeaky toys.

Taylor, Taylor's, she's looking at him like, what the hell? Why did you take away my toy? One day we'll show Taylor's face, but for now he's like Boulder Mart. Bouldermort. You know, it's so funny how things work. A lot of people were asking, like, how the hell did you get on the Gary Vee show? and it's funny a few weeks ago we went to Cabo and I was reading his book Crush It and it's funny because as I was reading it I finished it and I gave it to Lauren

and she started snapping about it and a reader who has an association or works for or works with Gary reached out and said well we really like this Gary just came out with a new book it's called the Ask Gary Vee book which is great too and she said Gary wants to see if you want to do something with the book and so I was like hey just shoot for the gold

and see if we can go on the show. And I thought there's absolutely no way he's going to say yes. And sure enough, he said yes. So it's just funny how things happen. Like you put good stuff out in the universe and good stuff happens. It's also funny how many women like him too, because you think it's more like male. But I'm obsessed with him.

He's like my spirit animal. Yeah. Yeah. So now, wait, that was his, how many books does he have? Four, three? Wow. He has four books. I think they're all New York Time bestsellers.

and this one had just made the New York Times best dollar list the Asgary V book. I'm excited to check that one out. And it was the best because we got to go to New York which is both, I think Lauren and I's favorite city or Lauren might like Paris better, but New York's my favorite city, hands down.

We know everyone who follows you on Snapchat can see your energy. I love the energy. I get out there, the street's moving, people are moving, I get back to San Diego and it's like a tumbleweed rolls across out here and it's dead. So I love it.

If I didn't have these Chihuahua, my business wasn't here, I would definitely be on the first plane, one-way ticket to New York City and never come back. Yeah, it's great for hustling. And so we went over to New York. We blogged a little bit on the airplane over. Michael was, it's so funny, he was sleeping straight up. I haven't even told you this.

What? You were sleeping straight up, like you were sitting there. I wish I could show you guys what he was doing, but he was basically just had his eyes closed, like the perfect sleep face, like just perfect. So peaceful. So peaceful and amazing. And meanwhile, I'm over there, like with my mouth hanging open, like drool coming down. Like, I'm swollen from the plane ride.

Like, there's, like, peanuts all over me. And I was just like, be switched. But anyways, we blog the whole experience. The vlog will be up. It's kind of a short one, though, because I feel like we didn't have as much time. We were just really busy. We didn't. I mean, we tried to vlog as much as we could, but we were really just moving the whole time.

And we're always vlogging through Snapchat. Yeah. Okay. So let's get into the. show. Jordan has some questions from some readers. Make sure, do you have their username so we can shout them out? Yeah, which by the way, good job, guys. We got so many questions, so I had to pick my favorites.

But again, if you want to send questions, send them either to anyone's Snapchat or you can tweet them, that's probably the easiest way to hashtag ask him and her. Yeah, and so you know, we have people that are checking it and constantly looking. So if you submit a question, it's a good chance that we will answer it. It might not be right away, but we will get to it. I'm actually picking some special readers, too, to come on and actually call in on the show, and we can talk on the phone. Oh, that'll be.

That'll be fun, right? Or Skype, not the phone. I'm like, I'm talking to the home line, like, no, Skype. Okay, let's go. First question. So, first question, and this is actually the first question ever that we received. So, good job. At Joy Fetty asks.

Lauren and Michael, congrats on the podcast. What are your tips for interviewing people you look up to for your blog? This is an easy answer. It's just to go for it. The worst someone can say is no. I have put myself in positions to ask huge names, celebrities, or models, or, you know, influential people to be on my blog. And I have gotten noes, of course, but I've also gotten a lot of yeses. So my advice would be to find their email or find someone that works closely with them.

reach out and also don't just say what they can do for you. Gary Vee always says this. Give them something that you can do for them. So whether that's blasting them out on social media or, you know, talking about them on your podcast or wearing their line in a fashion post, give them something that you can do for them too. So it's a win-win on both ends. So anything to add?

Yeah, I mean, I think that's a really good point. I think I don't have so much interviewing experience. I've never had to interview anybody. but in terms of just putting yourself out there and going for it. I mean, this thing we did with Gary Vries is a perfect example. If we would have not asked to go on the show, it would have never happened. I mean, whenever I'm negotiating in a business deal, like I always tell people the worst that can happen is someone says no,

and then you kind of figure it out from there. I think you just got to put yourself out there. You need to provide value. You need to not make it so much about you, but about them. And as long as it's a win-win for everybody, people are happy. I think if you make it so that it's a win-lose or maybe you get something and they don't, you're going to have a rough time. But when in doubt, make it all about the other person and bring them value, and I think that

you'll have really good results. And also, just to go off that, you have to put yourself out there. There's so many people in this day and age that are so nervous about putting yourself out there. And I can sit here and I can tell you that I get really mean comments, like really vicious, mean comments all the time. But I get 90% of comments that are amazing. So what I've chosen to do now is just focus on the positive, disregard the negative, and just keep forging forward. So put yourself out there.

I mean, it's not fun for anyone to put themselves out there initially, but after a while it just becomes a habit. So, okay. Confidence. Confidence. Question two. Okay. Chantal, her username is At Events by Chantal asks, help. What if you have more than one dream?

How can you pick one and know that it's the right one? That's an interesting question. I don't think you can ever just pick one in anything and know it's the right thing. I think what you can do is pick what feels right for you. I mean, let's just, like, I'm not going to go and start designing boats, right? I may have a, no, I have a dream maybe of, like, wanting to own a boat at one point, but I know that it's not, it's not a possibility for me to go out and start designing boats. So I think when you're picking your dream, or I guess this is your passion, you need to cash in on what your passion really is and what your strengths are.

I think a lot of people have been told wrongly that they can do anything and everything. And I think that's the wrong attitude. I think self-awareness plays a big role in this. I know that, you know, Lauren, for example, no matter how much I tell her to learn about accounting and profit and loss statements and balance sheets. Yon. She's not going to get it. That's fine because that's not her thing. So I think what you need to do is you need to cash in on what you're good at.

You need to cash in on what your passion is and where you think you'll be the most effective. And then I think you need to go for it full force. So I'm hoping that that answer, although vague, helps you drive into the direction of the dream that you're pursuing. I mean, and it's funny because you can do multiple things. at once. You know, let's take Lauren, for example. Lauren has been blogging for a long time. Okay. And she started blogging because she likes writing. So she took this, she took these two things, and she likes to have, you know, a public platform. So she took these two things where she, she wanted to go out there and she's like, I want to be a blogger. And the reason that it was congruitous is she also

likes writing. So when you take these two things, it kind of like develops that, Does that make sense? Yeah, totally. It actually reminds me of this mind map. It's called mind mapping thing that I did. But they basically tell you to write down what are your passions, what are your skills, what experience do you have, and how does that relate to your goal or your dream or whatever? So basically that's what you're saying.

You got to be self-aware, know what your skills are, know what you're passionate about, and use that to do something or create. Exactly. What I will say though is you need to be targeted and you really need to start small and like Lorna says, you need to start small and go outward like an upside-down triangle. Don't, and you say this all the time, don't start off and go after five things. You can eventually maybe you can get to those five things, but in the beginning, really be targeted. Pick one thing and slowly work on progressing that one thing every single day as much as you can.

Shantal, you should read the one thing, right? Michael, that's one of your book. Michael actually gifted me that book. And Lauren, you've read it too, right? The one thing by Gary Cameron. I'm halfway through. I should do the one thing and read the one thing. But I do think like the upside down triangle, like finding your one thing that you love and growing outward.

So like I loved health and fitness to begin with. So I started with that and slowly it became style and then beauty. And then from beauty it became, you know, podcasts or whatever, whatever the order was. But there's nothing wrong with growing slow and being patient. And I'm telling you, and Gary says this too. I've never seen a person be very wildly successful who doesn't grow slow. So you don't need to do everything at once. Pick one thing, nurture it, let it flourish, let it grow, water it like a plant.

And from there, it'll kind of slowly evolve into other things. All right. But also make sure that you're going after something that's realistic. Go out for your skill set and build off your strengths. So like I can't be a circus clown. There's a book called Managing oneself by Peter Dr. and he says instead of focusing on what your weaknesses are focus on only your strengths he's saying that it's much easier to exponentially grow your strengths

than it is to grow your weaknesses I love that because I use that against you when you asked me to do accounting the other day I said I'm just focusing on my strength today perfect all right so next question and thanks Chantua that was a great question Stephanie her username is at the name Anna's and Roses, and she asks, how do you balance authenticity and wanting to be inclusive to a wide range of readers? That is a great question.

How do I balance authenticity and what? And be inclusive to a wide range of people or readers. I think that it's not really about the wide range. Maybe it wants to begin with, but now what it's become is that I have just such an awesome group and community of readers that, and you say this all the time, Michael. Instead of bringing the dog, it's totally the too long.

I told you guys that we were gonna be super casual. There to go. This is live. I think that it's really important to remain authentic and not try to capture everyone, but just really focus on your niche and your community. And staying authentic, like, I mean, everyone says, is so important.

the raw, the real, maintaining the authenticity, no matter how big you grow, that's what I think gets you to the next level. So for me, like, I'm not going to capture every single person. I mean, the skinny confidential isn't for the 22-year-old man, and I'm okay with that. So for me to remain authentic to the group and the community of women that I already have, it's fine with me, and I definitely think it is a balance, but it's something I'll always maintain and continue. You know what?

I think I was talking about this to Lauren this weekend. I was saying, man, like sometimes my Snapchat views, they were looking so good, they were getting so high, and then I saw like a dip in part of them, right? And I was like, then I said, you know, it bummed me out for a second. Like the business man in me bummed me out because I want everybody to love what I'm saying and what I'm doing. But I also know, and I'm very self-aware that it's, I'm not for everyone. So sometimes I come off a little bit too intense.

Sometimes I'm, you know, blasting into the Snapchat right into their faces. Sometimes I'm flipping the screen. but at the same time that's my authentic self and I don't know how to be anything but that so while part of me is bum that I lose some people I know that the people that get it really really get it and I know that it's not it's not necessarily about quantity for me it's all about quality and the people that do get me as long as I'm bringing them some value and I'm adding quality content I get you but you are for everyone no I'm not for everyone and I'm fine with that. You're kind of like cayenne.

Like some people love it, some people hate it. I don't think that anyone's for everyone. Some people can't handle it. Some people can't handle Kayan. You know, maybe you're Kayan. Kyan's pretty rough. You're Kyan. The point is, I think too many people are too concerned about getting everyone. Everybody wants to launch the next Facebook.

Everybody wants to launch the next Snapchat. There's nothing wrong with niches. Nishes are insane. We'll take my business Jepid, for example. I don't have, I know that I'm not going to sell millions and millions of beds to people. Actually, not even hundreds of thousands. I'm selling to a very small niche of people, and that's okay, because that's the way the business is designed. I think that as long as... The world is a big place, so a niche is still... A niche is amazing.

We're not living in 1955 where you have a butcher shop and seven people on the block can come in for their weekend stakes. I mean, the power of the internet, you have the ability to reach thousands and thousands, if not millions of people. You don't need to get all of them. You just need to get a very dedicated few and really cater to them and really provide them value. And someone can read my blog and read another person's blog and another person's blog. They don't just have to read my blog. Yeah, absolutely.

So, you know, the competition, like, forget that. Like, fuck that. That's out. Like, people can read other people's blog. Like, this isn't a gas station that's next to, you know, Chevron and mobile right next to each other. This is the world. You're dealing with the world.

And zone in on your niche, find it and go for it. because I think that's how you become successful, too. And at the end of the day, it seems like the trend is going towards more real. Like, you have Snapchat. It's Instagram's so curated. People are getting over it. Snapchat's the next thing. It's almost like being authentic is what people want, mostly.

Let me just say, I did a post on this on the Snapchat the other day. I said there's a lot of people out there that are watching other people very, very closely. And then they are trying to develop their personalities or they're emulating those people. The problem with that is when you watch other people so closely, and I don't want to say copy, but if you try to emulate them, the problem is, is that's not going to be your authentic self. So you may capture a small audience in the beginning by emulating or mimicking or copying someone else. But as you progress, unless you constantly mimic that person, which is a yawn. It's a yon. As soon as you try to be yourself, your audience is going to be confused.

So it's much better from the get to just be authentic and be yourself and develop your personal brand that way and then capture the people that identify with that. I've seen a lot of people that capture an audience being themselves. And maybe that audience is small. It's not as big as they want. And so what they do is they try to grab somebody else's audience acting like that person. And then what do they do? First, they've captured an audience that is not going to identify with them.

They're going to probably leave. And then they've left their other audience in the dust that really did identify. So you have to be yourself. I don't even know if we've talked about this before. I think we might have. But there's so many bloggers that don't answer the reader's questions. And the reason that these bloggers have a platform is because of the readers. So they're actually alienating the people that have gotten them to where they are.

Does that make sense? So a blogger will post an Instagram of what she's wearing and girls will say, what are you wearing? What are you wearing? She's a fashion blogger. It's her due diligence to let them know. what she's wearing and the girl doesn't answer and it's it blows my mind because you're you're literally alienating the demographic that that has gotten you to where you are so um anyways so i think

Lauren what you're basically saying is you be and Michael you guys say you should always be your authentic self and then you can be inclusive by like communicating with your readers always always communicate always engage um I don't care how big you are get over yourself um you're not a celebrity as a blogger you're you're a blogger so be a blogger okay next question okay next question is from Alexis her handle is at t f daughter and she asks blogged you designed her blog oh yeah cool yeah shout out to Alexis um she asks what are your thoughts on bad bosses as it as in unprofessional and drama filled bosses how do you deal with them should you put up with the BS or say buy and wave the middle finger as you walk out

Tell me how you really feel. Do you want to start or do you want me to start? Well, I'm going to be honest here. I used to be a bartender and I was not a good employee. Like I did not want to be there. And you could tell because I wasn't doing what I was passionate about. So people aren't going to like me for saying this, but sometimes the problem might not be the boss.

It might be the employee too. It's kind of a dance that you do. So I think that if your boss is drawing, redful and horrid and just an all-around bad person, like get out of there. But if you're part of the problem because you're not doing what you want to do, then you need to examine that. Because I had to step back and be like, okay, I don't like pouring drinks for a living and can that guy not touch my ass when I bend over to get some bitters?

Like, no, thank you. Did that really happen to you? Oh, my God. One time, I have a little, like, side note story. One time I was bartending with another bartender, and there was this drunk, like, older woman, like, blacked out. shit-faced and she's all over all the guys in the bar and the other bartender I was with pissed her off for some reason and later in the night the woman took her thong off and flicked it at the other

bartender I was working at like slingshot at it slingshot in her thong and I was like is this my life like what is going on there's thongs with like weird stuff on them like getting from across the bar anyways so being a bartender was not my jam. I learned a lot about how to make a great cocktail, even though I feel like you're still better at making cocktails than me. But that's a different story. Lauren had cleaning chemicals in the glasses and the bar. No, I didn't. You guys are such an accelerator. Someone would ask for like a vodka tonic and it would be like cleaning chemical as the base layer, ice, vodka and like a splash of soda. You know, I would be bartending and this is a true story and I would bring my computer in the

bathroom. This is like very true. And sit on like the bathroom floor and like blog while I was bartending and go back out and act like I was in the bathroom. I mean, my passion was blogging, so I was building my blog. But this is a different story. So, but anyways, if you have a bad boss, examine, like, what you're doing to contribute to his dreadful attitude. And if it's something that you're not passionate about and you don't love, get the hell out of there.

Life is way too short to be doing what you hate. It just is. Yeah. And I mean, I don't really have much to add because I've said this so many times. If any of you follow me on Snapchat, I've said it probably, I don't know. Shameless plug at Michael Bostick. At Michael Bostic. Oh, I didn't even, yeah.

At Michael Bostick. I don't even need to plug myself this time. But anyway, I've said it a thousand times, like, if you don't like what you're doing and you don't like the work atmosphere that you're in, then you need to quit and do something else because you will never be great at that. You will always only be good or bad or okay. And your boss will always be shitty if you don't like the job you're working in, no matter what. And so the short answer to that question is, if you don't like it, why are you doing it?

And if you're only doing it for financial security, then you're setting yourself up to fail. Okay, so what if the boss, what if she loves what she's doing, but the boss is just a total, like, true to the core, a-hole? Kill him with kindness. No, if she loves what she's doing. Michael wouldn't say that, but he is an a-hole. I mean, is, does this boss, I mean, it's such a weird question. Does the boss have a monopoly on what she's doing? Is there no other company or no other business?

Can she not do it on her own? Like, there's, I would say if you, and that's another thing, if you really hate the people you're working with, then why are you working with them? I mean, I know that I love all the people that work with me, work for me. I know you love me. Even me when I'm PMSing? I mean, like Taylor has worked with me for a long, long time. I consider him one of my best friends. So if you don't have that relationship and you're not happy, then, I mean, this is something you're going to be doing every single day.

You're hanging out with these people more than you're hanging out with your friends on the weekends. You're going to be around them all the time. So you really have to enjoy it. I mean, that goes into company culture and just loving what you do. Am I a cool boss? yeah you're okay. I'm just kidding. Lauren's the best boss.

You guys are both great bosses. Not always. You expect a lot. And that's the other thing. If your boss is expecting a lot, like, I think that's a good thing. And you can consider that like an opportunity for personal growth. Like, you know, if your boss, hey, well, if your boss expects a lot of you, like, see if you've got the chops to, like, live up to it, like, work your ass off. And then, I mean, even if your boss is a complete A-hole,

that also could be an opportunity for personal growth because you could, you know, take this as an exercise in personal control or maybe, you know, how to work with people like that. You could always flash his tires too. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Or you could flick your underwear at him. If I have a bad boss, I'm going to flick my underwear at them. I'm your boss. Am I a bad boss?

I might flick my underwear at them. That's a hard question because you guys work for yourselves. So it's kind of like you guys just decided to do your own thing. are a lot of bad bosses though you have to be a cool boss i mean don't be a boss if you can't be a cool boss in my opinion um okay so those are our four questions um that's kind of episode three if you guys have more questions snap us hashtag ask him and her on twitter or on instagram and like let us know i mean email us do whatever you want we want to get you guys on the show we want to answer your questions and that's about it. Follow us on Snapchat at Lauren Everett's and at Michael

Bostick and at Jordan Bostick. Real creative over here. A real creative over here. If you get a chance and you're just a badass, go on to iTunes and shoot us five stars. Tell us how much you love us in the comments. I've seen some people on there. Maybe we'll do a contest for people that want to like screenshot next time. They're five stars. We can do like a little giveaway. All right. In the meantime, check out the new skinny confidential

www.w the skinnyconfidential.com and we will see you guys next time. Thanks for listening. Bye.