The Bossticks - Our Birth Story By Lauryn & Michael Bosstick

Episode Date: March 10, 2020

#253: On this episode Lauryn and Michael are solo to discuss the birth of their first child Zaza Princeton Bosstick. For those of you that are interested in these types of story, this episode is for you. Lauryn and Michael go into detail about the birth and give the full story around the entire process.  For those interested in non-baby/birth episodes. There are 250+ other episodes on this channel HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by BETABRAND and their Betabrand dress pant yoga pants. To try these pants go to betabrand.com/skinny and receive 20% off your order. Millions of women agree these are the most comfortable pants you'll ever wear to work.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace. We all have something we want to change or improve about ourselves. Talkspace is the most convenient and affordable online therapy that can help make a lasting change in your life with access to thousands of licensed therapists. To get $100 off your first month on Talkspace visit Talkspace.com and use code SKINNY to get $100 off your first month now! This episode is brought to you by OUAI OUAI was created by celebrity hairstylist Jen Atkin. Ouai crowdsourced and tested these formulas with their community and used real customer feedback to develop these shampoos and conditioners. With Biotin to strengthen hair, chia seed to thicken and volumize and keratin to reduce frizz and flyaways. All color safe, sulfate free, cruelty free, and sustainable. Shop new shampoos and conditioners at THEOUAI.COM and don't forget to use code SKINNY to receive 3 FREE samples with your order.  Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a dear media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

So, the birth story. Let's start from the very beginning of the birth story, which was a Friday. I was feeling very irritable. very grumpy for some reason. And Michael was doing everything he could possibly do to press my buttons. It wasn't so far out of the norm of day to day, you know? No, I was extra irritable. And I decided that I was going to go downstairs and eat my chocolate chip bagel in bed

while watching Real Housewives in the dark with my red lights on. Listen, maybe this is controversial. Maybe I'll get some hate for this. But there's a lot of hormones flying around nine months. Watch out for it. Maybe the whole time of pregnancy. Still hormones lying. And so I remember vaguely you squawking about something.

You were irritated with me. And I just kind of went upstairs and started eating pretzels and kind of just said, I'm going to exit the situation. And then I got, did you text me that your water broke? I text you to be dramatic. And I said, my water broke. You're like too bad. Like good look what you did, Michael.

Yeah. So I text you, look what you did. My water broke. And all of a sudden, because Michael's such a panicker, I hear like this. like all this movement, him freaking out, running downstairs. I think you remember that a little bit differently. I kind of just grazed down the stairs. Okay.

So I looked at him in the eye and I said, remember what I told you. I have a birth plan and I want to labor at home. And you could tell that the birth plan went out the window for you. Well, because here's the thing. You guys said you had a birth plan if you started having contractions. And I've never been through this before. I didn't know.

I only imagine that the baby's like, you know, the water breaks and then it sprays out of the, Taylor, don't you think, you know, in the movies, the water breaks and the baby comes out in the car. And I told Lauren ahead of time, I said, I want to let you know 100% with absolute certainty that I am not the husband that can help deliver this child at home in the car, in an emergency. I'm not the guy. I didn't sign up for it. I have no expertise. I can't do it. I can do other things. Can't do it. So I just wanted you to know, like, I am not equipped or capable to help in that situation. Our housekeeper told him a story of someone who delivered a baby at her house and it freaked you out. And so you had dreams

about it. Yeah. And I said, listen, I'm not trying to be a hero here. I'm not trying to be a super husband or super dad. I don't know what I'm doing. Carmen scared you. Taylor, don't you think like I can deliver the baby. If someone, in an emergency, someone said, hey, there's a baby and it's about to be delivered, I would do it. I would say, I will do this. I will deliver this child in the earth. Okay. And if they didn't have scissors, I'd bite the umbilical cord. That's why you, that's why This is why we still have not brought you around the baby. Okay. So then, so I said my water broke.

I wanted to be really dramatic. I had this whole like, uh, drama in my head. And just Michael said when earlier, he said we, my dula and I. So I did hire a dula. Shout out to Andre. And she and I went over and did a huge birth plan. We sent it to Michael. We printed it out and we had exactly what we wanted to do.

And we'll talk about that in this episode of when the baby decided. to make its debut. So I knew I wanted to labor at home. So we called Andre and she told us, do nothing. And Michael, Michael, what do you mean? Do nothing? She's like, just get some rest, go to sleep. I go, what the hell you mean? Go to sleep. I'm not going to sleep. I just laid there awake like, just truly, truly run in Stimpy with the red eyes and, and just freaking out. So I was like, okay, we're going to sleep. So we literally did nothing. We laid down. We watched some TV, we went to sleep and we were both up at, I think, seven or eight in the morning. Now, before I went to sleep, but because I'm psycho, I booked an appointment. Michael didn't know this with glam squad.

Because I was like, I'm not going to go into the hospital with these chip nails and this dirty hair. Like, like, so to add a level of stress, you know, I'm freaking out. I think the water's broken. I'm sitting there. And I, and I say, okay, well, we better, you know, what I've seen, what I've heard, what probably a lot of people are sitting there screaming at is that the water breaks and you go to the hospital learn that's what you're supposed to do you don't book glam squad to come over and do makeup and hair and nails so at this point i'm a little freaked out i gotta be honest i'm a little bit like you know i don't want to stress her out because the baby's in there i don't want to cause any sudden you know i don't want the baby to pop out but at the same time i don't understand why people are

coming over to do nails and hair and makeup so anyone who's being judgy don't be because i text my doula and she was like that's fine so i the next morning at nine o'clock in the morning had hair and nails come over. I got a beautiful, delicious spa pedicure. I got my nails done. I got my hair done. And my contractions were probably, I want to say, like, I was having them every two hours. And they weren't that strong at all. It was like a strong period cramp. That's why I wasn't so worried because everybody, like everyone I've talked to, although there's a lot of women in this office said, like, hey, you know, you really need five, 10 minutes apart before something's happening. So that's when I started thinking, like, I don't think your water's actually broken because you weren't like

leak you weren't leaking constant fluid. No, but I think my mucus plug did come out. I had to like show it to Michael which is disgusting and too much information. Wait, okay. A mucus plug is something you can like pick up out the floor and go look. No, no, no, no, no. It's not, you're thinking like a plug that's mucusy. It's like it's like a snot glob. It's like a snot glob.

Let me tell you something though, Taylor. Taylor, you've touched worse. This takes the relationship to a whole new level when you're taking pictures of a mucus plug. He took a picture of my mucus plug and sent it to my dula. No one's ever said that. statement I don't think. Yeah, I don't know if, you know, anyways, thank God I'm not so squeamish. Okay. So there we are. It's Saturday. I got my nails done. I was feeling fine. I got my hair done. I felt great. But I will say like I was ready to pop. I was rolling around at this point.

Like Violet from Charlie in the chocolate factory, it was wild. Like my legs were swollen. Everything was swollen. I felt huge. I didn't even want to weigh myself at this point. And if you're wondering about weight. I did a blog post on it, but I was ready. Okay, I'm 41 weeks here. Basically almost 41 and a half. I am ready. So I decide to keep laboring at home. Now it's... And I decide to keep stressing at home. And I'm, I'm eating normally. Like, everything was fine. So Michael just kept saying, let me know when you're ready. Let me know when you're ready. Which was really me saying like, let's get going. Let's get going. Yeah. I'm glad. I'm glad. Listen, you know your body better than most. Yeah. I will not really. I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

I was seven pregnant for seven weeks, but that's a different story. So that happened to a lot of women. I think so too. So at this point, Michael has on his red, red track outfit, your Adidas red track outfit. You've got a fucking whistle on. Well, I thought that's what I was going to wear to the hospital. But then you labored for so long, but I actually had to do it change. But she cares about me, you know?

My contractions started to get closer and closer and at about 3 p.m. My doula told me to take a warm shower and just keep her updated. So we were keeping our updated, keeping her updated, probably at about 9 o'clock. They started to get pretty close together. Yeah, the contractions were closer and closer. I was sweating more and more. And I was pushing it off because I'm like, I don't want to go to the hospital and get a hundred needles in my arm and have to do all this shit when I can literally just be at home

preparing for the baby. I was folding clothes. I was doing laundry. I was getting her room ready. Like, there was a lot of things I had to do. So I was taking my sweet time. I was reading every single pregnancy book. trying to make sure this was normal because everything I'd learned is that if you if the water

breaks you need to go to the hospital. So I was just trying to figure out like how do I stay sane here? How do I not stress her out? This is something was off for me. Did it make sense? You've watched way too many Arnold Schwarzenegger movies where there's where he's like pregnant. No, because listen. I mean, and I know it's a rare chance and what's the thing you didn't, you didn't, you weren't positive for something. I wasn't positive for group B. If you're positive for group B, apparently you have to go to the hospital sooner. If your water breaks because you can, you're at bigger risk for infection. And again, this is, we aren't doctors here. So if we're saying this wrong, like this, we don't know.

Anybody that's tuned in thinking this is medical advice and that it's, it's, you know, a place to come for a valid source of medical advice that you need, trust, it's not. Yeah, I mean, take my birth plan with a grain of salt. Again, I'm just sharing my story. Okay, we're going to get more into that. But first, I want to tell you about Way. So Way was created by celebrity hairstylist Jen Adkin.

I'm sure you've heard of her. She's all over Instagram. She is like the hottest hairstylist in the world. The New York Times called her. the most influential hairstylist in the world. So she wanted to create the first socially connected hair care brand to drive conversation and innovation and hair. I think this is awesome because what Way does is they ask their community what products they want instead of telling them what they need. If that's not genius branding, like I don't know what it is. So they have shampoos and

conditioners that are all problem and solution based. There's tons of options to choose from and they just basically wanted to simplify how you shop for daily hair care. Each formula is created to be a one-and-done solution for your hair type to give you the healthiest, most luscious, manageable hair ever, which I need so bad right now because I'm postpartum, and let's be honest, like the hair is not looking the same. Anyway, they created new shampoos and conditioners for fine, medium, and thick hair. I told you guys this before. I am a huge fan of the thick hair one, and their packaging is all eco-friendly.

So the thick shampoo and conditioner, the one I'm obsessed with, it cleanses without stripping and intensely hydrates the hair. It has like shay butter and avocado oil and even a marshmallow root that detangles and fights frizz. Shop new shampoos and conditioners for fine, medium thick hair at the way.com. That's spelled OU-A-I. And don't forget to use code skinny to receive three free samples with your order. Okay, let's get back to the birth story. How much water actually comes out when the water breaks. Well, I'll tell you this. This is why I was a little bit,

this is why I didn't think the water actually broke is it was like a little tiny like, I don't know, it looked like a dog like peed. It looked like a tiny little like like not a lot. And if you think he didn't pull out his measuring tape, he did. And my sister told me and Jordan, sorry if I'm not supposed to tell this story on the show,

but my sister told me when her water broke, it was like gushing and it was like constant and kept going. And Lauren, it was just like a little bit and then nothing for a few hours, then a little bit and then nothing for a few hours. So like to me, she had no contraction. So it just didn't seem like the water was actually broken. So at about 11 o'clock, I decided it was time to go to the hospital.

I was like, okay, I've been laboring for a day and a half at home. It's time to go to the hospital. I'll just feel confident. So we start to pack up all the stuff. I'm taking my fucking sweet time because I think there's like the sick, like diabolical thing in me that likes to just take my sweet time when Michael's panicked. I think there's something really, really psychotic. about me in that way. He must be taking your time all day because he's panicked all the time.

Yeah. So I just, while he's panicking, I'm packing as slow as possible and folding everything into like a perfect fold and just taking my time. So Mimi came over to get the dogs and off in the car we went. Two in the morning, three hours after you started packing. Yeah, good. I took my time. And it happened to be two in the morning. So this would be Sunday morning, but two a.m. Like Saturday night. It's technically Sunday morning, but it was two a.m. And this on Saturday and we had driving the streets of West Hollywood. People are, listen, I guess I've been out of the party scene for a long time. People are partying their fucking faces off in the middle of West Hollywood at this time of night.

Michael was driving so slow and so careful. And this motherfucker pulls up to the hospital. And instead of taking me to labor and delivery, he takes me to the emergency room. Okay, hold on. Here's what happened, Taylor. I'll tell you this. I'll tell everybody this story. I kept telling Lauren, we should do a couple of test runs because they told me that when you pull up,

you pull by the valet by the emergency room. But what it is is you drive past the ballet immersion and then turn and there's this nice, peaceful entrance that I later found. But I pulled up and I asked the guy at the valet, which I guess he just didn't give a shit. I said, is this the valet for labor and delivery? We don't need your whole life story. You pulled me up to the emergency room. Yes, because they told me I could.

I knew something was wrong because there's a lot of injured people, you know, again, Saturday 2 a.m. emergency room. You could imagine the characters in there. So the door is open. They put me in a wheelchair and I'm expecting like peaceful vibes. Like everything's chill. No, we're in the emergency room. Now, little backstory. I have horrendous Vasco Vesco Vesco Vesovagel, where I faint at the side of a needle. I have to be laid down every single time. I get any kind of needle and I hate anything when it comes to IVs, medical stuff, giving blood. Michael's never seen anything like it. Like I have a serious phobia. So I pull, I, here. He rolls me into the emergency room. I had 50 bags with me because we overpacked as always. And it is every single site that you do not want to see when you walk into a hospital with Vasco Vagel or whatever it's called. Vazzo Vagel.

Okay. It is people throwing up everywhere. There was someone on their hands and knees. Guy with his arm dislocated. I mean, banging his head against the glass. Broken limbs. This is the way he takes me in.

So immediately my heart rate just completely goes off the chain. I'm looking at him like, oh my God, I'm supposed to have this like, you know, laboring at home, trying not to go in with expectations, but didn't know I was going to see all these people throwing up going into the hospital. Anyways, he rolls me through this scene and we finally get up to the labor and delivery. Thank God. So anyone delivering at Cedars, you know, this probably helping some people. Don't, guys, if you're-

this has never happened to anyone besides you. If you're driving there, don't go through the emergency, go past it, turn right, go to P-1, nice peaceful entrance, I found that out later. Yeah, thank God. But don't make that mistake. So when I get admitted, they say your blood pressure is super high because you took me through the emergency room. So thank you for doing that.

And then they immediately start asking you if you want to go on potosin. No, no. See, this is when you get hazy because you're now. I am getting hazy. I like to be able to jump in here because you get a little hazy. Well, first of all, just like I was, the medical team there at Cedars freak out because you tell them your water broke literally 36 hours ago. And they say that is not, that's not normal.

you're supposed to come in here. They're worried about infection. They can't do, I guess, what is now called badge exams, which I've learned all about, because they're worried about infection. And then they did some test to see if the water actually broke. And it's, it, like, they must have tested positives. They saw amniotic fluid. And they said, yes, your water did break. So then now I'm sitting there being like, oh, my God, is you infected? Like, it's got a bit worried. They start pushing potocin. You didn't want to do that. It was, everybody got a little bit more stressed. And it's not that I didn't want to do potosin. It's like, I just didn't want to do that right away. I wanted to survey all my options. I wanted to make a clear, calm decision that was

logical. I didn't want to just be reactive. I wanted to be proactive. So at that moment, I did not want Patosin. Now, Ardula met us there and she was amazing. Well, for people that don't know what Potosin is, because I didn't know what it was before. What exactly is it? It's basically something your body produces to help speed the birth, I think. And help signal to your body that to... Again, if you're looking for Wikipedia, this is not the source. But I think Potocin basically speeds up the birth. I think it tells your body to kick in for delivery. Yes. And I'm sure we're saying that wrong.

Yeah. So maybe consult like, I don't know, a pregnancy podcast. Why did you not want it again? I just didn't. That's just not something that I wanted if I could have curated a perfect birth plan. Now again, I really went into it with no expectations. So I got it. I did end up getting it.

And like I'm fine. I'm indifferent about it. It was fine. I would say this about your birth plan, I guess our birth plan, is that Lauren and I are the type of people that we, you know, we go in with a plan of attack with pretty much everything we do. You know, we have a very solid idea of the plan, right, of what we want to do. But we also are very fluid where if, you know, like let's just say you're,

you build a plan and you're saying, okay, when we get to this point, we're going to go right. And then an obstacle presents itself and it's not possible to go right anymore. So it's only the only options to go left. Like we are very fluid saying, okay, like that's out of the plan now. We have to be fluid with it. And I think a lot of people with plans in life in general get into trouble when they are, They refused to get off of the plan when circumstances change.

And so we went into it saying, like, this is the basic plan. But if circumstances present themselves and change, then we were fluid with it up to a point. And just like some things that I did to make it feel really nice is once I was admitted into my room, I had a view, which I really wanted. I wanted natural light. And I changed out of their gross hospital gown. I know, like, I just am not a hospital person in general. And I wanted my own fresh, like, cute hospital gown.

So I bought like a pink one with polka dots on it off Etsy. And we got candles. So Michael found these candles that were flameless candles. We had tons all over the room. The little battery powered. Yeah, they're like the battery ones, which I love. We put them in her room now and she loves them. And then we did like a spa music, which surprisingly I thought I'd want Bossa Nova,

but I wanted more spa. And my doula put on a meditation and she put headphones on me and took away my phone. So I had a real book. I was reading Suzanne Summers' book. I had my, my spa music, and then I also had a meditation on. And we just made the room super, super peaceful. She did some oils. We were doing like frankincense oil and she was having me smell it and it was in the room

diffusing. It was just a really peaceful, peaceful room. So I knew I wanted an epidural. At this point, my contractions were pretty close together. They were strong. I mean, here's the thing. My contractions, I could have kept going. Like, it would have been fine, but I already knew I wanted an epidural.

I already knew I was going to get an epidural. So I was like, I might as well get it now if I'm going to do it. I'm not going to wait through any kind of pain if I know I'm going to get the epidural. So I asked for the epidural. And I was really nervous about that because I'm fucking psycho, like I said, about needles. And the epidural, you have to be put on an IV to get it. And then you also have to get this huge shot. And this shot, I didn't look at it.

It was big, huh? I mean, it's. It was big. Yeah, but it's, they numb you up and it's in the back and you don't. No, Michael. You don't want a needle sticking in your spine. Like, it's what, like, don't act like it's not a big deal. Listen, I will say this, and I'll, you know, it's probably going to come up multiple times

the episode. But as a man, right, at first time witnessing something like this, men think they're strong, you know, and like, you know, I always, you know, I'm a bunch of pussies. I'm attracted to strong women always have been like, you know, I work with a lot of strong women in this company with you, with my partner, you know, have a lot of examples. But, you know, men think they're strong until you witness a woman. in labor and then give birth. You don't realize how much stronger,

and I really do genuinely mean this. Women are than men, both mentally and physically. If we were subjected to that type of pain and mental trauma, the Earth's population would have been done a long time ago. We couldn't do it. Before we get into that, let me tell you about talk space.

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therapy and it's the most convenient and affordable way to make lasting change in your life with the support of a licensed therapist. And at the same time, it's also selling time. So what's insane about this is that you can send your licensed therapist, a text, audio, picture, even a video message, a video message, oh my God, from your phone or a computer wherever you need to or whenever you need to. So even if it's on your way to work. And once you're matched with your therapist, you can begin therapy the very same day. Many people think that therapy is about analyzing dreams or digging into painful memories. And that can be super powerful, but it's also a great tool for developing coping skills or dealing with stress and getting the accountability you need

to achieve your goals. I know therapy has been really beneficial for me in the past. It's helped me through a lot of things. So I would definitely agree with this. The bottom line is that life can be hard and TalkSpace wants to give more of us the support we need at a price we can afford. As a listener of the Skinny Confidential him and her podcast, you can get $100 off your first month on TalkSpace. To match with your perfect therapist, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure you guys use the code Skinny to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's skinny and talkspace.com. All right, back to my birth story. So I got the epidural. They put the tape all over my back that eventually gave me a rash and they didn't know it was going

to give me a rash. And the guy who gave me the epidural was really gentle. They numb you first and then they give you the needle and then you just lay down. Now, here's something I learned about the epidural. If you get an epidural and you're laying on your left side, side, the epidural is going to go all the way to your left side. And if you turn around and lay on your right side, it's going to move to your right side. So what's a really crucial thing, in my opinion, about having an epidural is that you switch sides. So you do like an hour on one side and an hour on the other side, an hour on one side, an hour on the other side. Think about it like a half full bottle of water. When you turn the water, the water goes to one side, then another or like a rotating ship.

And it's true because people that don't know that. And I know, and I've heard stories, some women in my life have told me their stories where they've gone to their hospital and the hospital says that's not the case. And so they only feel the epidural on half of their body. And the key here was like, they're constantly flipping you like a pancake so that you felt it on both sides. And I have to just shout out the epidural for a second. I don't know if this was the epidural or my hormones from from giving birth because you get a lot of hormones. But shit, that epidural is fun. You're shouting out the epidural. I'm shouting out the, it was like I was on heroin or something. I mean, I was floating above the sky. I did not feel one thing.

I felt fucking great. I haven't heard that from everyone. I was like, I was high as a kite. Well, here's my take on the epidural. You know, and we have friends that are pregnant right now. And now,

you know, I never knew I'd know this much about birth and pregnancy until like this happened to you. But I understand the perspective of women who say they want all natural. They don't want to take the epidural. They don't want to do any drugs. But what I've also learned, if you're somebody that thinks you may do the epidural or you're thinking,

yes, at some point, I'm going to take it. Why be a here? Why prolong? Everyone's different. Some people don't want an epidural. For me, I wanted an epidural because personally, I did not want to put that much stress on my body and the baby naturally.

I wanted it to be really, really calm and good energy. And I knew if I didn't take the epidural, I'd probably be in a shitload of pain. And I don't think for me, this is for me, the baby would have come out as smoothly and just had really calm energy. So I wanted an epidural. I mean, I wouldn't get a boob job without anesthesia. Like for me, I just wanted one. Well, and like, why suffer through pain longer if you're going to eventually do it? It doesn't make sense.

I get it if you're never going to take it. If you're never going to take it, then, yeah, this conversation's irrelevant. But if you're going to take it, why not just take it early? Yeah, I mean, everyone's different. You got to do what's best for you. For me, I wanted the epidural early. So it was great. I was flying high until this nurse came in.

The nurses, by the way, every single nurse was fucking amazing and phenomenal. They were all so sweet, brought them skinny confidential goodies. We, like, we loved them. Like, they were amazing. but there was one nurse who came in towards, I don't know what hour it was because you start to lose track. And she wanted me to turn my entire body and lay on my stomach. Well, you're fast-tracking a little bit because you forgot a large portion of time in there.

See, this is what's interesting to me is like your inclination of time during this process is very shortened. And I think probably because you're on the epidural and your adrenaline. But like for me, you know, I'm in there in normal time the whole time. So before she came in, what happened is you started going into active labor, but you weren't dilating. And so that's why they were trying to give you the potosin. And they gave it to me.

And they thought your water had broken. So when the midwife actually came and checked you, you know, to check so you're dilated, it turns out like we thought or like that your water was actually not broken. Yeah. So my water was not broken. So they broke it really quick, which I don't know. Pop it with her finger.

I don't know how she broke. I don't know. All of a sudden, she goes, oh, your water isn't broken and just popped it. Well, what confused me was because they tested to see if your water broke and they said, and they confirmed that it did.

and I think the reason being, and we learned about this later is, and other people, maybe this will help, maybe it won't. You had what's called a hind leak where there was a small tear in the sack or the amniotic fluid. And so some amniotic fluid was leaking out, which is why they tested. They thought it broke. But it turned out it wasn't. But as soon as they broke it, then you went into serious active labor and sort of dilating. Okay, which is why I'm so glad I didn't go to the hospital right away, because if I went to the hospital right away, I would have been hooked up to IVs all weekend. So the nurse came in, there was this other nurse, one nurse. She came in and she told me that I needed to lay over on my stomach. Now, if you can't move your legs, your butt, your toes, anything, and someone tells you to turn over on your stomach when you're nine and a half months pregnant, you're going to be a little frustrated. And I was, I was pretty frustrated. I was like, I can't turn my entire body onto my stomach. And I'm stomach, I need a lot of help here. My doula was grabbing food so she wasn't there. And I got, I got frustrated because the nurse was really pushy about having me get on my stomach. And I think I started crying, which is like wild. I was getting overwhelmed. Yeah, and typically I'm like, okay, Lauren's tough. You can handle it. But at this point, actually, you know, one thing I did learn and, you know, from hearing multiple stories is that you have to be your own advocate. I think a lot

of times nurses and doctors come in and they kind of like strong arm you a bit. And this is not to say anything bad about the medical field. They're trying to do their job. They're, you know, they're there. They're in a high pressure situation. They're trying to get the, you know, healthy mom, healthy baby. But sometimes you just not jive in with some of the staff. And this was one of those cases. And I actually, you know, had to ask her to leave the room and kind of threw her out. And it was a weird situation where she told me, you know, she came in and she said, you know, her shift is over in 30 minutes. It was the first time we saw her. We hadn't had any interaction. It just, it wasn't a good feeling. So I actually asked her to leave, which they definitely do not

like, but you definitely can do. It was one of the rare instances during the delivery where I had to get a little bit forceful and tell her to actually leave until the next nurse came in. And once that happened, you know, we got organized again. Lauren got into a better place. You know, calm down. And, you know, I just took one look at you and realize, like, this person was not running the right way. It wasn't the right energy for me. She came in really strong. She started bossing me around. I'm like someone that really feeds off energy. And she was very forceful, very combative. And every other nurse we had for the last 10 hours was fucking amazing. So I'm like, why am I having this energy in this room right now when there's a million

other nurses that have such great energy? So when Michael told her to leave, it was at the point where I was crying and overwhelmed and like just crying in my pillow. It was too much. She wanted me to get in all these weird positions. And like I said, there was no one in there to help me move into the position. So I wasn't sure how she wanted me to do that. So anyways, after that was out of the room, it was fine, smooth sailing.

We got the nurses back that we had had earlier and my doula came back. And what's really wild and I have to say this and Michael would agree with me is having a dula and we'll get into it more in the end in that room changes the entire experience, at least with us. It changed how Michael and I interacted. It changed how the nurses and I interacted. It set this like tone in the room that was just really beautiful and magical. And if you're pregnant or you're giving birth or you're.

planning on getting pregnant, I would recommend looking into a doula because ours was really, it was really great. Hot damn, let's take a quick break to talk about beta brand. We're back again, telling you about the dress pant yoga pants. These pants are your friend if you want to tighten things up and flatter your ass. I'm telling you, it's like everything just lifts up. These are your dream pants because they take you from the office to home to happy hour, kind of anywhere.

Also, just be warned, Michael always tries to smack my ass when I'm wearing them. because it kind of gives me a lift. They also don't cut into your sides. So there's no, you know how sometimes you get that indentation on the sides of, like on the back of your back. These don't do that, okay? They're comfortable. They're very stylish, chic comfort, if you will. They have dozens of colors. I always go for the color black, but you do you. They have patterns, cuts and styles. So bootleg, straight leg, skinny, cropped. I'm a fan, you know, of the skinny jeans. I just feel like they keep everything looking long and lean. And if you're more of a denim girl, they have a premium denim with the same flexibility and comfort as the yoga pants. So everything basically with Beta Brand is just really,

really comfortable. You don't have to sacrifice comfort or function for style. I concur, Lauren. I do concur. You concur, Michael? I concur. Okay. Michael concurs. Right now, our listeners can get 20% off their first order when you go to Betabrand.com slash skinny. That's 20% off your first order at betabrand.com slash skinny. Millions of women agree that these are the most comfortable pants you'll ever wear to work. sign me up. Go to bedbrand.com slash skinny for 20% off your order. All right, let's get back into the show. Yeah, it's just somebody there that's advocating for you, especially, you know, like I consider both Lauren and I capable people, but, you know, we had no experience with birth or childbirth or hospitals and like having somebody there that had been through this before to base and seen it multiple times,

I can say, hey, this is happening now. This is what they're doing here. This is what this means. It's just a comforting feeling. And for me, it's like whatever we needed to do to keep Lauren in the right headspace and calm and happy and like. you know, not in a place where she was having negative thoughts, that it was worth every dollar, every penny to just have somebody there that could help present those feelings to her. Very motherly. And it was only me and Michael and the doula in our room. Our family members weren't in there. So after that, things were speeding along. I was on potosin. I had the epidural. And again, I wasn't attached if I was having a C-section or natural birth. In fact, I didn't even

think about it. And I think that that I really truly think when you give something, one thing or another energy, the balance goes off kilter. So I think by me not giving it any thought about what was going to happen, it made things flow better. So my doula, it was getting closer and closer to when I needed to push. She whispered in my ear and she said, do not tell the nurses or the doctor that you need to push until you absolutely cannot stand it anymore. And I truthfully think out of all this process of pregnancy and giving birth, that was the best advice I'd received. And the reason I think that is because if I had told them right when I felt like I needed to push, I'd be pushing for like four to five hours. But I waited and waited and waited and waited until it truly felt like

there was a fucking bowling ball on my vagina and asshole. And then I told them. And I said, I need to push. And that's when I assumed my position very far behind. And a lot of people, like you didn't go in the front and watch the baby. No, you didn't. First, again, my wife didn't want me there. No. So, yeah, I assumed the position behind, you know, kind of behind you. Behind.

My job was to rub your head, hold your shoulder, hold a hand, you know, kind of push the back support. Okay. That's what that's all right. I did. Okay. I did not want Michael anywhere near the whole situation. I didn't want. Literally the whole situation.

No, there was so much happening. Like, I did not want him anywhere near. I wanted a sheet. I wanted everything. That's just, you know, for me, like, I wanted to keep that sexy. Yeah. And listen, some couple, like, for some people, that's really important. They want to, I was fine missing the, you know, that exact moment and then seeing it a couple

seconds later when it popped over the top. Yeah. Yeah. So we called the midwife in. We called the nurse in. The doula was there. Michael was there above the curtain. And it was time to push.

Now, I, like I said, it was about to come out because I waited until the very last. second. So the first push. She said, let's do a couple, the midwife said, let's do a couple of test push. You, you pushed like the devil was chasing you. Okay. So I pushed once and I thought in my head, I'm going to give this one try. And if it's, if it's too gnarly, I'm going to get this out in three pushes. I'm going to brag for you because you're not going to do it for yourself. This baby's head started coming out in the first two pushes. It was, it was like, it was coming out. Because here's why I started to feel what it felt like for the first push. And I was like, oh, fuck no. I am not doing.

this more than three times. Fuck, no. So that's when I gave it every single ounce of energy that I had saved up from chilling with the effort or all. And the midwife panicked a little bit because she said, let's do a couple of test pieces. And my take on this, and maybe there's some midwives or some doctors or some nurses listening, they want to see how strong of what pushy are so that they can time when they're going to call the doctor to come in.

Her eyes blew up. I could see the whites of her eyes. She was scared. I was scared. Everyone was scared because I think she realized, holy shit, this baby's about to come out in like a few seconds and the, and the doctor wasn't there. She basically, the midwife basically told me to hold it in. And then I got frustrated because my whole thing was like, what do you mean hold it in? It's not like, you know, you can't, you're not like holding it in like a shit.

Like you just got it's got to pop out. Yeah. I was like, I can't hold it in. I got to go. And so she was frantically texting the doctor and thank God the doctor got there within 15 minutes. Like at the last second, the doctor got in. The last second. Like the baby's head was basically out when the doctor got there. So luckily, the doctor. why I, like, love my doctor so much is she could, she was able to give me perlin, how do you say it? Perennial. Perennial. What is it perineal? Perennial? I don't know. I forgot. Taylor probably knows the name. Perlennial massage, which is where they massage, like a half moon of your vagina. The gooch. The gooch. While the baby's coming out,

they massage your gooch so you don't tear. And she's so good at it. She's been, she's been a doctor forever. She was really getting in there, massaging the perlinium or whatever the hell you call it while the baby was coming out. So I ended up only having to get two stitches, which was amazing. So the baby came out. We wanted to do skin to skin immediately. The baby was placed on my chest and Michael got to cut the embolical cord. And holy fuck, you would have thought that he actually birthed the baby. He was acting like he was climbing Mount Everett by cutting this umbilical cord. There was ooze. There was Oz. You were acting as if you were cutting through like a leg or something. Well, it's not, it's not just like a quick snip like it's cutting a piece of paper. It's a little bit, it's like a sinewy kind of

like thick kind of thing. Really describe it. Must have been hard. Yeah, it was tough. I got through it. Okay. I'm okay now. Okay. Well, Michael was really great while I gave birth. I have to shout him out to hooves was spring sweet nothings in my ear. And then while he was cutting the umbilical cord, I had to hear that narrated. So that was fun. Doctor said she's never seen a cleaner cut. Okay. So like I said, we did skin to skin for an hour. And then I wanted to make sure that Michael and the baby did skin to skin. So they did skin to skin for another hour. And maybe it was like an hour and a half total and we decided not to have any visitors for an hour and a half. So after an hour and a half of bonding with the baby, me and Michael had our parents come in the room, my parents and

his parents, and they saw the baby and then they left. And then after that, we did mom juice. Now, if you listen to the episode with Molly Sims, you know about mom juice. At Cedars, they have this juice that is so good after you've given birth because you're fucking starving your entire labor. And afterwards you get this huge, huge vat of, I think it's like cranberry, pineapple, orange juice with tons of crushed ice in it. And it's like having a cocktail. And they give it to you. Michael was trying to steal my mom juice.

Well, I was thirsty too, you know, cutting that in bellicor is a lot of heavy work. I mean, it was wild. And then they move you into the other room. Now, here's the thing they don't tell you about birth that I think is really important to know. You know, like, I told you, Lauren, like, see, listen, great mom juice, all that stuff. But I told you your framework and idea of time here is a little warped because you were so like whacked out, you know, and your adrenaline and, you know, epidural. Before all that happened, you know, you gave birth to the baby.

That was incredible. You literally did it in like 30 minutes. I've never seen anything like it. I started immediately crying till I started immediately. It's a weird thing. You don't, I don't know what it is, but when you see, and this can get sappy first thing, when you see your wife do something like that and then you see your child pop out for the first time and they. look at you. And they can't really see. They're like little aliens when they come on. We haven't even talked about the football head, which freak me out, which we can get into.

But when they look your way and you see this life, like immediately started crying, like weeping like a little girl, like just like crying. But then after that, they don't tell you about the birth of the placenta. Okay, let me, and this is Michael keeping me accountable because I would have forgotten that part in the story. So you give birth to the baby. The baby goes on your, on your chest. First of all, the head is shaped so weird. No one tells you that you're like, what's going on with the head. The head is like, like a long football. So you're like, okay, this is interesting. And then you think you're done. You're like, I am done. I am such a hero. This is over. Hallelujah. And then they're like, okay, ready, one more push. And you push and all this water comes out.

Like a sparklet's gallon of water comes out. It's like when back in the day and, you know, like in Sea World, when Shamu would splash. It's free fucking Willie. It water spray Taylor. This water. I've never seen anything like it. And the noise my wife made, listen, I thought I've satisfied you over the years in the bedroom once in a while. I've never heard you make a more orgasmic sound when that water and placenta sprayed out. I was like, holy shit. No, and then they don't tell you that after you do the water, you have a placenta to deliver. And I wanted to eat my placenta.

So I needed it to be really great. So I delivered the placenta. And so the baby's still laying on my chest. And the doula takes my placenta and puts it in a, cooler who by the way the dula helped me the entire birth which was amazing like coaching me and takes the placenta so i got my mom juice my parents have seen the baby we've done the skin to skin like we wanted to do i've had a good cry michael's had a good cry and then they don't tell you that for the next two hours every 10 minutes that they're going to come into your room with

their hand and their fist and press into your stomach i don't think you should tell people this part you're going to freak them out. To make sure you're not blood clotting. This guys is the part that is real. They push on your stomach after you've just given birth. There's no more epidural anymore, by the way. Like, they're pushing on your stomach, pushing on your stomach every 10 minutes as hard as they can to make sure there's not like stuff coming out.

I don't know. You got to like go Google the scientific facts around this, but they just push on your stomach. I think it's to get blood clots out to make sure that no blood clots are happening. It is hell. that was probably the worst part other than that though I have to say looking back on the birth I don't look at it negatively at all like I look at it as complete positive cool empowering experience it was intense and I have a really positive memory of it which we're

extremely lucky to have which we're extremely lucky to have and I I want to do it again like it's so it's the human body is so weird I actually liked birth oh I want to do it again oh I I can help with it. I can help with that. Give me a fucking minute, Michael. Give me a minute. I heard right now, right after your first period, you're the most fertile ever. Which is why. But you know what? That's too tight. That's too tight at timing. We've got to spread out a little bit. You crept your toe over to my side last night and I flicked it off. Side note, I think I'm going to have to use condoms. And I haven't used condoms and like, I don't, like, maybe ever, you know. Yeah, you might have to use condoms. I don't even.

I would, I have to like, think about that because. You think real hard about it. that. You know what? I've never really thought about it, but now we have to really think about it because well, you can't have sex for six weeks after. Like, you cannot even touch anything. And I just, I want to say this because a lot of people are asking me this. I think this is important to say. During pregnancy, your vagina changes just because you have all that weight. But the second that I gave birth, I, like, I looked and I went and saw it and it was already like going back to normal. But now it's been three weeks later. My vagina feels completely back to normal. Like everything looks normal, there's nothing that's changed about it. Now, I don't know if that's everyone's

experience because the baby did come in like 20 minutes. So I don't know if that has anything to do with it. But if anyone's out there and they haven't had a baby and they're worried about a vaginal birth, my vagina looks and feels the same. Michael will be able to confirm in six weeks if that's true. I'll report back. Taylor won't be able to report back. It's been about four weeks now, Lauren, so I have only about two week countdown. So I'll be able to confirm. You have two weeks where you'll be able to see. But I like, I'll update the audience. I've gotten up in there with the mirror just because I'm curious and I've been asked this question and things are fine. It's exactly the same. So I'll, I'll have Michael let you guys know. Full follow-up report. Our listeners deserve that.

Yeah. And so after the birth, they take you to a room and this is what I would tell anyone who is having a baby or expecting or whatever, the time that you have in the hospital right after you give birth, when you have your cold mom juice and you ordered pizza at two in the morning or Craig's garlic bread or whatever you like because you get to order like whatever you want to eat. And you're sitting there in the hospital is so magical and so special and so it's something that you'll never get back to be with your firstborn kid and your husband. I'm getting emotional even talking about it. Who am I? This is like postpartum. You're about to cry, huh? No, well, it's, it's really like, it's really special to be in the hospital like that and to have your baby. And by the way, the head, we have to mention

the head. The head right after you give birth is still wild for like, how long, Michael, like three days? It goes back. It goes back. The head is fine now. But it was, When you first get a baby, like, you have all these feelings. And one of them is like, what is going on with the head? Yeah, but, you know, honestly, like, you're concerned for a minute and then you realize this goes away. And honestly, like, whatever the baby comes, you're just so happy to have a baby. Yeah.

How do you think the time in the hospital was after? Wait, hold on. You're saying that the baby's head misshapen when it comes out? Yeah. Is it like... How the fuck have you been during this show? Is it like Catamari? It comes out like an alien head because it's like a little football.

Search Catamari on your phone. If you're listening right now, search Catamari on your phone. Is it look like that? Can you pull it up on the screen while searching? Okay. Catamari. Like spelled C-A or C-A? No, no, no, it's not Catamari.

It's the other way. K-A-T-A-M-A-R-R-E. It's not like, hey Arnold. Okay. It's not like Hey Arnold. It's just like, it's been squeezed through the birth canal. Yeah, it's long ways. Yeah.

Like alien. No, maybe, but I don't know if that's for everyone. But that's, that was our situation. The baby's head goes back to normal though after three days. So don't stress about that. And they put this really cute hospital beanie on that she still has and that we saved. and it's all good. So enjoy every second in the hospital. We had visitors the next day, and we did end up taking pictures. I didn't know if we would or we wouldn't the day after.

I didn't have any pictures, any social media, anything happening while I gave birth or the day after I gave birth, we had someone come in two days later, Ariel, who was amazing and shot the baby. And it was really, again, peaceful and good energy. And we had music. And Michael's dad snuck in champagne. and my dad snuck in champagne. And it was fun. We put it on my TikTok if you want to see a quick little recap of it. So before we go, I want to answer this question because it's been on my Instagram a lot. A lot of people are wondering why we name the baby Zaza.

So I am obsessed for the last five years with Jaja Gabor. She is an old Hollywood actress. She's been married like seven times and divorced all her husbands. And she's unapologetically herself. She doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks about her. and she's made her career off of her personality. What was the book she wrote that you love? She wrote How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, and How to Get Rid of a Man.

And I read this book and all her autobiographies and just fell in love with her. I think she was so unique and so charismatic, like I said. And so I started talking to Michael about Zaza Gabor. I kept telling him all about Zaza Gabor. But I kept saying like, do you mean Zaja Gabor? So it's... Because leave it to Lauren to not pronounce something, right? I can't.

It's on brand for me not to know how to pronounce anything. So I kept saying, oh my God, like Zaza Gabor, she did this, she did that. She did this with this man. She was hanging out with the Hilton's here. Like she just had this like such extravagant, colorful life. And I kept calling her Zaza. I like just fell in love with the name Zaza, thinking Zaja Gabor's name was Zaza. So that's how the name came about.

We thought it was unique. We thought we loved the initial of a Zee. It's just so beautiful. It was zazzily. It was starlike. And it just fit. And I just didn't like the name. I didn't like the name.

the way the name Zaja was spelled ZSA ZSA. I just didn't like that. It's like, I don't know what the name origin is, but there's nothing against that name. I'm sure if that is someone's name. It's a beautiful name. But I like the way the name we spelled it, ZA, Zsa, Zsa, Zsa, Zsa, Kro kind of like. Punchy. Yeah. We wanted something easy to spell, easy to pronounce. And so Zaza was just so fitting. And we've really truly had the name for like five years. Yep, we had it for a long time. And as far as the name Princeton, Boston, because people are asking about her middle name. Her name is Zaza, Princeton, Bostick. We heard it with the name. Zaza and we just loved the way it sounded. And her uncle is actually has the middle name Princeton. So it fits perfect. And now that she's finally here, I can confirm that she's sassy, very sassy and dramatic and demanding and bossy in the best way possible. And I think that her name is, it's perfectly fitting. It's good. Don't you think, honey? I think it's great. And you know what's trippy? One day she could potentially listen to this. That's weird. It's weird to think about. That's wild. She's going to hear about my placenta and how it was taken off in a cooler.

I don't know. I mean, that's the takeaway. So yeah, that's the story, guys, you know. So now we're here. It's four weeks after her birth. I am eating my placenta in pill capsules. I did a post on that. It's already on the skinny confidential. And I will do a Q&A answering all your other questions. But that was my birth story. Michael definitely had to hold me accountable because I forgot a bunch. Because when you're high on that epidural, let me tell you. It's pretty good, babe. I kind of feel bad for you that you didn't get to experience the epidural. I'm good. I'm glad I didn't have to. Are you glad that you were behind the sheet? Yep. I'm glad I'm glad that, listen, happy the whole way the whole thing went down. You got to do an update two weeks. You know what, though, next time, I'm going to be a lot calmer. I think once you go through it's multiple time parents here, they're like, okay, like, no big deal. Like they, you know, once, like, don't you think the next time you go through, casually drive over? Babe, not worried. I was casually driving over until you took me into the emergency room. I was casual. Listen, last thing I'll say is that, you know, once you have, once you have a child, your own and this is going to sound, you know, I don't, it's just true. I have a whole new level of respect and sympathy for every parent, but mostly our parents, because thinking about all the hell we put them through, I can't even imagine this girl like going, you know, leaving five feet from the house and me not breaking out. I'm not to have to get used to it. And, you know,

and so I just would like to formally apologize to our parents for all of the hell we put them through over the last 30 years. You should apologize to my dad in particular because he caught you in the closet when we were 12, almost half naked. If karma's real, I am fucked. He's laughing. He just keeps laughing about it. You are fucked. Guys, get- I'm not going to have the same level of restraint I don't think as your dad did. I'll probably kill a guy. Yeah, you're fucked. Guys, get yourself some mom juice. Hope you enjoyed this episode. And let us know what your favorite part was on my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential. And we will send you some TSC pink, cheeky goodies. Hope you love this episode. And again, make sure you've rated and reviewed the podcast on iTunes. See you next time.