The Bossticks - Relationship Q&A with Lauryn & Michael - Answering Relationship Questions Submitted by Listeners

Episode Date: December 25, 2018

#158: On this episode Lauryn and Michael answer relationship questions submitted by listeners. Questions relating to jealousy, working together, marriage, traits that make a relationship work, and how to keep the spark alive.  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) WOO MORE PLAY is the all natural and organic coconut love oil that is changing the way we have sex. With only 4 all natural ingredients WOO is the perfect personal lubricant to spice up your sex life.  All Him & Her Listeners will receive 20% off your entire order plus free shipping when when visiting www.woomoreplay.com & using promo code HIMANDHER at checkout.

The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning space offering more than 20,000 courses. I currently use the platform for multiple courses, learning quickbooks more. I've been jumping into After Effects, which we talked about, Photoshop, design. I really try to round out my edges when it comes to things that I'm not expert in. And whenever I need a quick reminder on how to use platforms that I may have not used in a while, Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners.

Get two months of Skillshare for just 99 cents. That's right, Skillshare is offering the Skinny Confidential listeners. Two months of unlimited access to over 20,000 classes for just 99 cents. That's less than 50 cents a month. To sign up, go to Skillshare.com slash skinny. Again, go to Skillshare.com slash skinny to start your two months of learning now. That's Skillshare.com slash skinny. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.

And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. That was the I Love Lucy soundtrack, which is so fitting for this episode because it's all about relationships. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast. Guys, we're live at Dear Media.

I am Lauren Everett's, the co-host. I have Michael Bostick over here. Michael, say what up. Merry Christmas and happy holidays. If you are tuning in today on Christmas, thank you. Love spending the holidays with my loved ones, which is my listeners, our listeners. And this episode, we are actually, you know what, Lauren, I don't know what we're going to be getting into. I know what's relationship. I know you got a lot of questions.

I am going in dark so these answers will be fired from the hip per usual. Hopefully I can provide some sound advice. I don't know what I'm getting into. I feel like Michael's really. nervous. So basically I posted an Instagram. I was wearing this Barbie pink faux fur jacket from at shop Vanderbord. And I asked you guys what questions you wanted us to answer on the podcast about relationships. We said we would feature your Instagram handle and you guys totally delivered with these questions. Like I said, Michael has no idea what I'm about to ask. He's shaking in his boots.

He is glistening from his peel pads though. And he's like ready to go. I am glistening. I don't know if I'm ready to go. I know this has been a requested episode for a while. us doing a kind of a Q&A on relationships. So we've done some of this in the past, but we've never really like done, you know, a deep dive into relationship advice. Have we? We've done a little bit of it.

There's one podcast that you guys should all listen to that we recorded. I think it was the day before we got married. We recorded it down in Cabo. We'll leave it in the show notes of what episode it was. And basically it kind of broke down our entire relationship. But these are questions that you guys asked that you can hopefully get takeaways from. So you asked a lot of questions about your own relationships.

hopefully we can help. We're definitely not perfect in any way. Well, well, well, speak for yourself. Okay. Maybe your forehead's perfect with those feel bads. That's about it. But I do feel like we've had a pretty intense journey with our relationship. So hopefully there's valuable takeaways that you guys can pull from this episode and apply to your own life. And if not, you can just leave it, right?

You can look at it as the do's and do nots. We've always peppered in a little bit relationship advice now that I think about it. But we haven't really done something like this. So let's see what you got, Lauren. I'm ready to dive in when you are. I love to just give you a question that's right to the gut. We're not going to start you easy and then get hard. We're going to go right away.

Start you easy and get hard. Perfect. Perfect way to describe it. Taylor, don't get horny. All right, first question. Atchannel.ana asked, what is your most frequent argument you have? Our most frequent argument that we have from my perspective has to do with your time management. And before you jumped down my throat and say, I'm blaming you, I understand, and this may be some tangible advice.

whenever you're getting mad in a relationship, it's always your fault. And let me elaborate. My reaction to being upset or irritated when Lauren is late is my problem, right? Like, I cannot do anything to change her. She has to want to do it herself. And if I go out and get pissed off and angry on the way my partner's behaving, it's really because of the way that I reacted and choose to react to it. But I would say if it's a concrete answer, that's definitely what triggers me the most because I'm, somebody that's very punctual and I don't like when people steal my time. When it's your wife, it's hard to do that. I think with maybe any woman, sorry to generalize women. But that's definitely what we fight about the most. And my job now as a husband is trying to be more understanding with that time management and try to have better reactions, even though it is an extremely difficult,

irritating, stressful thing to do. I love stealing your stuff. Your time, your pants, your credit card, your peel pads. I like to steal it all. I like to steal it all. I, I would say actually the most that we fight about is my time management, like Michael said, and probably Michael can be extremely impatient, which maybe isn't the best mix with my time management skills. I can be impatient when I feel like people are taking my time or doing things in ways that, you know, we talked about in the Shaman Durek episode in ways that are more complicated they need to be. But yes, it's something I need to work on. It's my cross to bear.

Tell us your vow that you said to me. What was it again? During our wedding, I tried to say, I promise to, what is it to smile and gut through it when you do things the hardest way possible? And I'm still trying every day. I also really don't like if Michael talks to me before 10 a.m. I get really, really grumpy. And I'm really, really grumpy in the morning until I've like had my coffee, done my meditation, put oils in the house, listen to maybe a Christmas carol or two. I need peace when I wake up.

Next question, and this question got 14 likes. So people liked this question is from C.J. Licks. And she said, C.J. Licks? Yes. Okay. Keep going. I love C.J. Licks. Love your handle. You should touch on life after marriage and how you stay more connected and strong as a couple. Lauren, I'll let you start with that one. Okay. So I think that Michael and I are so much more strong as a couple since we've gotten married. I don't know if it's because we've just been together for a while or the marriage changed something. But I just feel like we're both really, really committed to our vision and our future. I think we're really on the same page. I think we're both very, very driven when it comes to our businesses and we realize right now that it's time to fucking hustle our ass off before we have kids. I also feel like we're really on the same page when it comes to children. I think that we understand we're not like so rushed about it.

And I think when we do have kids, we each will bring something interesting to the table. I think Michael is very, very analytical. He's very good at time management. and I think he's going to be a really, really good father. And I think that when we do decide to have kids that will enter that chapter of our lives. But right now we're so focused on the hustling phase. And we enjoy that. We enjoy going out to dinner and talking about business.

It sort of like gets us off. The first part of this answer is not going to be popular. I would say marriage is not for everybody and not to force it. I think that in my experience as an outside observer to people that do that, there can be issues. but for people that are really serious about marriage, their partner is really serious about marriage and they want to do it. I would say that after marriage, Lauren and I have become even more connected. And I don't know how to explain this other than it just feels like you're in a deeper connection with your partner.

It feels like we're not just building something as individuals anymore. It feels like we're building something together, even though we were kind of doing that before we got married. When you start to incorporate the idea of potentially having children in a family, it just makes your motivation of staying together and being together. and working towards something together that much stronger. And so for me, I've always loved Lorne, but now I feel like that loves even deeper because of the marriage. And I feel like we are even more aligned now in our goals and our vision for our future. And you know what?

Michael told me the other day, this was like, remember when we were, we were in Croatia and we had just tried mushrooms. You can listen to the podcast with Tara about that. And Michael said that I was a clairvoyant. and I think that once we got married, we can look at each other and just know what the other person's thinking. Like, I'll just give him a look and he knows exactly what I'm thinking. And I don't know if that's been like that, our entire relationship. But I feel like since we've got married, it's gotten stronger and deeper.

Yes. You can be a clairvoyant too sometimes. Let me tell you what really gets me going. What really gets me off is efficiency, organization, and executing at a high level in a streamlined concise way. I believe that Skillshare has done that for anyone that's out there trying to learn a new skill online, whether it's learning how to create mail drip systems for your email list, whether it's learning how to learn how to do After Effects or Adobe platforms such you create video, motion graphics. If you're an influencer or a creator that wants to create compelling content for your audience,

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because there's so many great ones online. And my favorite thing about Skillshare, all the courses are taught by people like you and me. Maybe I have some podcast expertise and I can create a course. If there's somebody out there with Photoshop expertise, they can create a course. Anybody that's great at photography or music mixing, there's a course to be taught and to be learned from. Some of the most beneficial courses to me are actually the ones in the business category, basically learning how to build presentation decks so that if you have an idea for a business,

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Less than 50 cents. That's cheaper than most courses you can find online if I do say so myself. To sign up, go to Skillshare.com slash skinny. Again, that's Skillshare.com slash skinny to start two months of learning now. That's Skillshare.com slash skinny. All right. This is a great question. It's from Nutriciously Delicious.

Would you recommend living together before marriage? I actually did an entire blog post on this on the Skinny Confidential. I will let Michael answer first and then I'll give my two cents. I 100% absolutely recommend living together before marriage because I think it's extremely important to figure out if you actually like living with that individual. That being said, don't rush the move in process. Everyone's always in such a big rush. Take your time. That's what Lauren and I did. There's life's a very long time. I understand the idea of figuring out quickly if some, if there's a future with somebody, but at the same time, you don't want to just rush into things.

But if you are thinking about getting engaged or getting married, I would definitely suggest living together because living with an individual is completely different than dating an individual. So I would suggest trying it out as a first step to see if you like it, because if you don't, definitely don't move forward after that. So my opinion here is a little different. I think that everyone is uniquely different when it comes to relationships. I think that what works for Michael and I may not work for you and your partner. I think you have to be really in tune with your intuition, even kind of clairvoyant, and really feel out what's right for you. I think sometimes when your parents or your friends give blanket advice, it might not be the right advice. So what I

would recommend is do you. And I did a YouTube video on this about how I chose to do it. So what I chose to do specifically, I really wanted to have time on my own. I knew that when I married Michael, I'm going to be with him hopefully for a very, very long time. And I wanted to have my own space and feel how that felt. So it was really important for me to take that year or two years to myself to decorate my apartment, how I wanted it. It was super girly, very pink, very TSC. And then Michael could go off and have his own apartment and do his apartment in his, you had a lot of brown in your house, a lot of brown, brown couch, brown and everything. He could go have his brown moment. I can have my pink moment. And also, I never wanted to move my stuff into his house. I knew that that was an accident waiting to happen.

He had his stuff set up how he liked it. And me moving all my pink stuff into his house would not have worked well for our relationship. I just knew that. So what we decided to do was I lived by myself for two years. Michael lived by himself for two years. And then before that, I was living at my godparents, so I was separated from him. So there was a lot, I would say I lived separately from you for like five years. He ended up proposing at the house, the pink palace, we called it. After he proposed, I took about eight months to move out and then we found a house together. And I think that that was very powerful because it was a way to mesh our styles together on a very neutral territory. Well, the next part of this, maybe I'm going on a tangent here with this question, is to also not let anyone dictate what your relationship looks like.

So even if you're listening to us, I would say take it with a grain of salt and say, okay, that applies to me or that doesn't. Speaking on Lauren and I's personal relationship, it was always when we were first dating, it was like, okay, well, when are you guys moving in together? And then after that, it was like, when are you guys getting engaged? And it was like, when are you guys getting married? And now it's when you have kids, there's always going to be somebody out there putting outside pressure on your relationship. and at the end of the day where I think Lauren and I have been successful in our relationship is that we do not take anyone's advice except our own in terms of how we run our relationship and how we interact with each other.

We don't listen to any outside noise. I don't care what anyone thinks about our relationship. It's our relationship. And I think if you have that approach and you do what you two as individuals want to do, that's the perfect formula for our successful relationship. And I would just say playing off that, that one thing about me and Michael's relationship, like what he just said is we really don't listen. to outside noise. We both are very much people who have always, since we were little,

beat to the tune of our own drum and really tried not to listen to what society thinks we should do and when we should do it. That has been really powerful in our relationship because we both just sort of do what we want. Yeah. So if your mother's whining at you or your best friend or your sister, Susie, tell them to just chill out. You're doing what you want and that's it. Yeah, chill out, Susie. All right. Next question. At Courtney Jackson asked X's. You guys have known each other for a very long time. How do you deal with knowing that you both have been with other people? Did you guys ever have any issues with exes reaching out, et cetera? I looked at those guys as the practice runs. Lauren had to get those runs in in order to get to

the expert slope, which is me. And so, no, I'm just kidding. No, I am somebody that does not put a lot of time or thought into exes, both mine or Lauren's. Appreciate the time from both parties, but I have moved forward. I'm definitely somebody that focuses maybe too far in the future, not enough in the presence, but never in the past. I do not look back at all. My dad told me a long time ago, you cannot drive a car looking in the rear view.

And I just don't live my life that way. So for me, those conversations never pop up. I am completely secure with all of those old relationships. And I think that by putting that out there and doing that, you're able to move forward in a meaningful way with any new relationship you're in. And if you're with somebody or somebody yourself who's constantly focused on the past and past exes, I think that completely has to do with you as an individual and not your partner. And if your partner is being shitty and constantly bringing up your ex, maybe ask

yourself if you should be with that person or move on to somebody else. Yeah, I just feel like you leave exes in the past. I mean, I don't give it any energy. I think that like, you know, for me, it's like good. I'm glad Michael had practice before me. You know, I don't want some like a situation where there's been no practice involved. You need to go like, get some practice. And if any of my exes are they're listening. I'm sorry. All 500 million of them. But just so to give you guys some context, for those of you who don't know, Michael and I met when we were 12 in sixth grade. So Michael and I broke up at 14 and we dated other people until we got into college. So Michael was on like his third year of college. I was on my third year of college and we reconnected and got back together. We did hang out

two in high school here and there. Michael got lucky a couple of times. It was like, you know, a couple times, only a couple. She was always chasing me around. Couldn't get enough of me. My dad actually found us in the closet with my top off when I was 14 years old. So that's, we have like all these very funny stories. Like I said, we've known each other since we were 12, so we know each other's family. There's a lot of depth, a lot of history. And when we got back together, it was very seamless because it's almost like we had to go through all those experiences to come back together. I feel like Michael is, this is cliche, but I feel like he's my best friend. He knows everything about me. Like I said, 12 years old is a pretty, pretty long time. Yes, but I think,

you know, maybe to not be as harsh. I think that I just am somebody that knows, one, a lot of Lauren's past, but two, I know that thinking about exes or Lauren with her exes or me with my, it doesn't do any good or help my relationship with Lauren in any way. So while I appreciate those past relationships and while I appreciate her past relationships, I don't put a lot of thought into him anymore because I just do not think it's productive for this relationship and, quite frankly, any other relationship. Mojo.combe princess asked, is your relationship in private different to the one you are showing us on social media? Yes and no. Yeah. Do you know what's funny? I was going to say yes and no. You were? Yeah. I mean, listen, I love social media, but I'm not one of those, listen, those couples that are

out there and they're doing all the affection and rolling in the snow and, you know, high-fiving with their legs in the air. Guys, I'm sorry. Everyone that's listened to this show. That ain't, It's not me. It's not going to be me. No hate to the couples that are doing it. I just don't have the ability to do it. If I ask him to take a picture with me, he'll take one and done. And I'm like, no, I need 800 more. So yes, to answer the question, when the cameras are off, I am rolling around in the snow. We are diving in the air, high-fiving. We are holding, what is it, like, peonies or something and doing, like basically all the PDA stuff. But just kidding. No, we're very much, I'd say we're different behind closed doors. We're very intimate with each other. We don't like to share

every single aspect of a relationship. I feel that's kind of weird to do and I don't like to share every single thing in my life since there's so much out there. But that being said, we are extremely close and what you hear on this podcast is real and what you see on social and the messages that I write when I write love messages are real and I love Lorne. But I don't think every single aspect of our relationship needs to be put out there for the world to see. I think having some privacy and having some semblance of a relationship that's just ours is also important. Yeah, yeah. So that's my answer. I don't know. You don't want to make a sex tape? Well, you would hate that.

You wouldn't like that, would you? Who knows? Maybe I'm filming you when you're not looking and I can use it as blackmail later. I'm sure. Thank you. You never know. We have the nest in our house. So you've got to answer the question.

Okay. Is our relationship the same on social media? Yes, it's the same, but there's definitely more layers to the onion than just what everyone sees. I think as a public figure, it's my due diligence and my job to put myself and my husband and our relationship out on social media. It's what I've signed up for. It's part of my career. And it is what it is.

However, I'm the type of person that I do have to have some kind of privacy. So I think there's definitely a lot of layers to the onion that we don't show. Like Michael said, we're not like huge on PDA, but when we're behind closed doors, I love to be touched. That's my love language. I think that people aren't going to see every single facet of our relationship. We have to have a little bit to ourselves. So I would say that you guys see 75% of our relationship and the other.

their 25% is behind closed doors. And I've talked about this on this show. It's primary, it's not so much because we won't show it. It's because I can't stand doing photos like that or running around and doing stuff like that. I just, by trade, I'm probably, you wouldn't know it now listening to the show, but I'm a very, like, like, private person. I like to have intimate relationships with my friends and family.

And so whenever that camera's around, like, I'm good for maybe five or six shots and then I got to go. I got to get out of there. I don't, I'm not somebody that's good on social. I don't like taking all the pictures. And it's primarily because of that that you probably don't see. That's if I would just feel very uncomfortable with like trying to get like capture a scene with the photographer. But alone, definitely very intimate and touchy, maybe a little too touchy sometimes.

Yeah, that's it. I also think like our conversations are, we go really, really, really in depth when we're talking about our future. And I think, you know, obviously 75% like I said is on here, but the other 25% is for us. So no one's going to see us on Instagram with the Nashville filter and doggy style position anytime soon is what I'm saying. You don't even have any words to that. Yes, Lauren, I agree. I will definitely not be bent over at doggy style on Instagram. I have to be honest here.

When I got married, I was the most disorganized bride you've ever seen, which is kind of weird because in my business I try to be hyper organized. But when it came to getting married, I was all over the place, like so chaotic. even to the point where I think I planned my entire wedding in one month, which was bleak. I could not have done this without Zola. So Zola comes in and just organizes your entire situation. They have this thing that manages your save-the-dates, wedding invitations, a wedding website, a registry, a checklist, and a guest list manager, you guys, all in one place, and it's free. So what Michael and I did was we did our wedding website through them, and then we had our registry

on there. And what was really, really cool about it is we decided that we didn't really want gifts for our wedding. We wanted to donate to a charity. So we picked the colon cancer foundation in memory of my grandma and the Chihuahua Rescue. So people were able to just go online and donate to which cause they wanted. If they wanted to get us a gift, though, they could get it too. It's just kind of up to you. If you want to pick out your gifts, you can put it on the registry too, which is fun. And the website is so easy. It's so. so easy to set up. It's so easy to use. You can do it to your own aesthetic. So our aesthetic was a dark purple eggplant and some black. So we really got to have our wedding website really represent

us. So join the 500,000 couples who have used Zola today. It takes the stress out of a wedding planning, like I said, with their free wedding website, free wedding registry, affordable, save the dates and invitations, and easy to use planning tools. I should also mention that you can get really creative with your funds and you can use it towards your honeymoon future home new puppy kind of anything you want i love it all right so to start your free wedding website and also get fifty dollars off your registry on zola go to zola.com slash skinny that's zola dot com slash skinny at kito for the mind asks what are your love languages well i just touched on that my love language is affection i love to be touched but i don't like to be touched by everyone i'm specific i like to be touched by my husband

I like to be touched by my dogs, like all day long. And words of affirmation. You like words of affirmation. I kind of like it all. I like all five. You know what? I realize. I kind of love them all, keto for the mind.

I had to do some deep diving to figure out what mine was and I realize it's acts of service. I really appreciate when people are doing nice things for me or trying and making the attempt. I don't need any words of affirmation. I don't need any gifts. As a matter of fact, a lot of times those make me uncomfortable. You ask me how your hair looks 20 times in a row, though. So that's words of affirmation.

So maybe just when it comes to that. But then also I feel like, and I don't know if this is because of my mother or my father, but my way of showing affection is probably gift giving. I'm not the best all the time with words, but I like to show by giving people things, giving people gifts. And so I don't know why that is, but that's the way that I show it, I think, after reading that book. And the way that I appreciate and receive it is acts of service. And he loves you guys.

Like he loves a handwritten card. One year I got him like a huge gift and I forgot the card. But I'll tell you why. Oh my God. It's not because of the words on the card. It's because someone took the time to write a nice card and it's thoughtful. Does that make sense? Or is that confusing?

Yeah, it does, but I forgot how to handwriting. So I need to like get a quill and get a class on it. I'm so used to being on the computer and the phone. My handwriting is atrocious. Well, maybe I'll get you a quill for Christmas as my love language and then you can return it by an act of service. Make sure it's pink. At Kido for the Mind. That's another question.

that's a great question. She said, what are your three favorite qualities about one another? And how do you make sure to encourage those qualities? For Lauren, it's definitely her quick comedic timing. I love for comedy. Lauren's an extremely loyal person when she loves somebody. And that's unquestionable. There's never any thought that I have to worry about anything or not trust her. And also, I've never met a woman that's so driven while also staying so grounded. So that's extremely important to me as well. because she's not driven by material goals or material wealth. She's just driven by progress and by providing value to people and to me and to the people in her life. And so those three qualities are extremely attractive to me. And I think that's what I've always recognized in her since we were kids. And that's why I chose to marry her and to chase her around for forever. Oh, babe, that's cute.

I'm getting all mushy gushy. Don't get teared up out there, ladies. My three favorite qualities about Michael. one is for sure his butt. That's not a quality. Okay, I can't help it. Then I'll do four. You have the best butt I've ever seen,

and I tell every single one of my gay friends, so they all stare at it, and they all agree with me. I've never seen such a good butt. Wonderful. You're going to go look at it in the mirror. No, I'm going to be fine on that front. I won't have to do that, but...

No, I feel like I'm going to go into Korea and get you these new butt masks that they have, and, like, put one on your butt. How did this get here? Not in like a weird creepy way, like, I want to do anything weird with your butt. I just like the way it looks, you know? It's like that scene and Gone Girl with Ben Affleck and his big penis was hanging down is

like, you have a great, like, you know, lower body situation. Perfect. I'll take it. Okay. Three qualities I love about Michael. Definitely his commitment to his integrity. I think that he has so much integrity. And for me, that just like gets me off in life.

I think when you, when he tells you that he's going to do something, you know he's going to do it. That was really important for me and a husband. I didn't want to have any kind of trust issues or anything that made me feel not secure. I think Michael constantly makes me feel very, very, very secure. Is it unsecure or not secure? No, it's secure. I hope I don't make you feel insecure. That would not be good. Okay. Yeah, he makes me feel very, very, very secure. And I appreciate that about him. Another thing that I love about Michael, and this is sort of a selfish thing, is that he keeps everything as organized and efficient as possible. So a couple weeks ago, we were on a flight, and he booked sort of the wrong time.

It wasn't the right time to go. And I just said, oh, my God, this wasn't the right time to go. And you could see that he was dying inside because he's so efficient and organized and has everything mapped out. So whenever we travel, Michael does all the planning. He puts together the dinners. He organizes even down to my facial he'll organize. He's very, very, very thoughtful when it comes to. planning things. And I think that's really, really great for this relationship, because let's be

honest, where would we be if I was going to be planning the flights? Well, we would just never be off the ground. It would be bleak. I don't think I've ever booked my own flight when I'm with you. No. Like, honestly, I don't know. Honestly, it's a surprise to me whenever you go to the airport without me that you actually make it. But, you know, I got to let you do your thing. My last favorite quality about Michael is his finesse. I can put him in any situation, no matter what it is, and he's really good at finessing the situation. So if someone maybe feels uncomfortable or insecure or sad or mad or whatever it is, and I'm around them, Michael has this really great way of finessing the situation and really

giving the person who's upset or angry or mad or insecure, sort of a comfortable aura. You know what I mean, babe? You're really good at that. I never heard it as like finesse. I don't know if that's the right way. Finesse is the right word because a few months ago we were hanging out. out with a friend and she was feeling really, really insecure. And all I did was see you build her up. And that's such an attractive quality to me. I think that's so important in a person. Like,

I would never want to be with a person that kicks someone when they're down. Well, I'll tell you what it is, is that I like, I'm attracted to confidence and strength and warmth and I like the people around me to feel that way. So I never want to be in a situation where somebody is near or around me and they're not feeling that way or don't have the ability to feel that way. So I do everything I can to help them get into that headspace. I have to give you one more. And you didn't give me, I gave you five. So you can maybe give me too much. You want me to talk about your ass? You want me to get into it? You got another hour? Yeah. Good, babe. The other quality that I really love about him is he reads. I think that's like so important in a relationship. Reading, I feel like reading is something that's

so important to me. And it's something I do every single day that to be with someone who didn't read would be a deal breaker for me. I honestly don't think I could be married to you if you didn't read the way you do. Well, I think that it's important, listen, maybe reading's not your medium. I'm a firm believer that everybody should read. I've talked about it a million times on this show. Everybody knows that. I've done book recommendation posts. I'm very intrigued by all sorts of writing. But let's say you're not a reader. I think what's more important is the constant drive to seek knowledge. I think we're getting into a place in a society with smartphones and Google and computers and ease of access to information where people are starting to get lazy with the

information they seek and they're starting to lose their curiosity. And for me, the most interesting people are the ones that are constantly seeking new knowledge, looking into different aspects of the world and their lives, looking into history, understanding history, and basically just becoming a knowledge seeker. I think if you're not doing that in life, you're going to have serious problem down the line and you're going to have trouble evolving as a human being. So if it's not reading, maybe it's podcasts, maybe it's documentaries, maybe it's articles, some type of research where you're seeking knowledge is important for everybody in my opinion. Michael once told me about a book he read and it talks about compelling people and two of the traits that compelling people have are strength and warmth.

And we've talked about this on this podcast and Michael does have strength and warmth. So that's what I'll round out. I feel like I gave you a lot of compliments. Thanks, ma'am. Maybe you're going to have to give me a couple for later. Yeah, you got a couple in the back pocket. I'll start writing them with your quill. Okay, MCM.

Dot World asked, with so many moving parts in both of your businesses and day-to-day lives, what are the major components you both check in with daily? I don't even know if I understand that question. She means, she means like, what is our routine of sort of a check-in? Like, when you come home, what's our conversation? With each other? Yes. Let me think about that.

So I think we're always asking each other, what was going on in the day, what we're working on who we're talking to. It's not really like, how was your day, honey, but it's like what was accomplished? What are you working towards? Did you meet anybody new interesting that you can work on something with or have a relationship with? And then it's us kind of finding some time to say, okay, let's maybe disconnect from that a little bit and talk about our relationship or talk about what we're doing in our personal lives. There's always a lot of conversation going on between Lauren and I, a lot of dialogue sometimes maybe too much for her and I can annoy her. But I think it's very important as a couple to not just be interested

in the surface level things like what the day is going on, what works like. But it's really like kind of digging deeper and finding out what's important to that person at that time of their life and why and having conversations around that. So we do that a lot. Well, first of all, I like at least 10 compliments a day. So let's hope that he has his 10 for today. Oh, you already gave me three. So you have seven more to give. No, I do. I really do like compliments though, just to say you know. But I think that Michael and I really live our lives by this by this quote that Eleanor Roosevelt said. And it's great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people. We really try to constantly make each other better. I think Michael always wants me to be able to reach my full

potential. So how we do that is it's definitely a habit and something we we scratch away at every single day, which is when he comes home, we're discussing what was the progress of the day. Like when we lay our heads down on the pillow, what progress did we make today to get closer to our goals? So that's a lot of the discussion. We definitely talk about our dogs every single day. That's a huge topic. That's maybe an at-home topic, but that's something we talk about. And then we like to talk about, and maybe this is weird, but we're always talking about the future and planning, like, where are we going to go? What are we going to do? What kind of value are we going to provide? We talk about the podcast, who we're going to have on. And then obviously the intimacy is important

as well. So to just touch each other, you know, even if it's like a back scratch, I think is really, really important. Got a little to woo going. We talked about the woo on this show. Get a little woo for play. If you guys are TSD listeners and you haven't tried Woo More Play coconut oil lube, you are missing out on life. It's not like anyone needs lube. It's more that it just enhances the sex. This lube is the only lube I will use. I am obsessed with it. I accidentally forgot it when we went down to Cabo and sex was good. But honestly, it could have been insane with Wu. So next time we got to pack that in my bag. Don't forget. I feel like so many people are worried about, you know, what they're eating or what they're putting on their skin,

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code him and her for 20% off. Have so much fun guys. But I also think, you know, conversations for couples, you want to be supportive of your partner, but you also want to question and give honest feedback to your partner. I think that's really important to me. Like I said, I don't want to just be pampered and told that I'm great or that my hair is great or that my ass is great. Lauren, are you listening anymore? It is. I don't talk about your ass. But I think it's important to also question each other and say like, okay, are you really, is that the best way you can do that? Or is that really a right assumption? Or could that relationship with that person be better? Or is it something that you're at fault for. All those types of questions are important to ask as

opposed to just patting each other on the back. We go pretty deep and ask those questions. And I think because of that we get into really great conversations with each other. And that's what has kept our relationship interesting, among other things like the woo. All right, Dr. Dot Magdog Fit asked, how do you deal with trust and jealousy? Are either of you or both of you naturally jealous people? I hate answering these questions around jealousy because I want to answer it completely honestly. and I feel like sometimes this answer doesn't get the best response. I'm just somebody that is not jealous at all. I don't have that,

and I'll call it an emotion in me. I actually, like if I walk into a bar or a restaurant and a guy walks up to Lauren and hits on her, I actually kind of, I'm like, cool. Gives you a bonner? No, definitely not that. But it's like, okay, cool.

Like, it's nice to see that your partner is wanted by somebody other than you. But at the same time, like if somebody's grabbing at her or touching her and being inappropriate. It's not that I would get jealous. I'll just probably have to smack somebody upside the head. Remember the guy that tried to stick his finger in my bet hole? Yeah, but it's not, so I had to almost smack that. I had to get rid of him. But the thing is, I'm not, it's not like, oh my God, I'm so jealous. Lauren's going to run off with somebody else and she's going to leave me. I don't have that emotion. And I think when you put that out there, nine times out of 10, it makes

the situation worse where maybe someone's like, huh, you know, maybe if I, if I act this way, or my partner's acting this way, maybe there is somebody else that wants me. I think whatever energy you put out in the world, positive or negative, is what you get back. So you put that emotion of jealousy out there. I think that a lot of the times when you do that, it destroys relationships. It makes your partner think, oh, maybe I should do something else. It makes people, but when you put out the emotion like, hey, I'm completely secure with myself. I'm completely confident in the relationship, and I'm not jealous at all. I feel like there's an attractiveness there that I'm attracted to as an individual that I also think your partner is attracted to. So to me, I don't like to be,

I don't like to think about jealousy because I think it's completely unproductive. And honestly, myself, I'm just not a, I'm just not a jealous person. So I have a hard time relating to it. But maybe that's not the answer to people are looking for. When it comes to jealousy, I give it absolutely zero energy. And here's why. So when I was in high school, I had a boyfriend who ended up cheating on me. And I remember being so jealous and it was like gut-wrenching jealousy, like so mad. There was like a pit in my stomach. I couldn't have been more jealous. and after everything was said and done and we ended up, you know, breaking up and we went our separate ways, I realized that jealousy literally did nothing for me besides negative things. So I'm the type of person where, and I've talked about this before, where I have my thermometer of energy, my cell phone battery of energy in life.

And I think that if I'm wasting time on jealousy, it's taking away from things that could be more positive. It's taking away from my work. It's taking away from my friends. It's taking away from my family. And I think it's taking away from my relationship. I really try to come from a place that if Michael wants to cheat on me, that's his prerogative and there's nothing I can do about it or control it. So I really find it to be a waste of energy.

As I've gotten older and as we've gotten deeper into our relationship, I feel like I find it to be even more of a waste of energy. It's taking away from my thermometer. My friend Gillian told me the other day that one of, and she's been married for like, they've been married for like 10 years. They have a great relationship. And I asked her what the secret of marriage was. And she said freedom. And I think she's so right. I think it's so important to give your partner freedom. If Michael was calling me every 10 minutes when I was out with a friend, I would want to blow my head off. Like that's too much. And I think

that when you do that to people, it almost makes the other person reactive and defensive. And then they become jealous. So it becomes this volatile resentment-filled relationship that is just negative. So I really, really, really try to give Michael freedom. He gives me so much freedom. We're really great together, but I also think separately we have our own life, if that makes sense. I mean, when we walk into a party, we literally go separate ways, right? Like I go and talk to my people. She goes to talk to her every time because I think that's interesting.

We're with each other so often. But also, here's another tangible takeaway. Take a, watch some reality TV and watch when you see like that jealous husband or jealous wife on reality TV, how unattractive it looks. Or look about the friends in your life that you have when they act jealous. think about how unattractive that looks. And I just think, you know, I look at examples like that and I watch people go through those emotions. I just think that is not productive.

It's not serving you. It doesn't make you look strong. It makes you look weak. And so get rid of that emotion. And if somebody's driving you to be jealous, maybe question like why you're in a relationship with them in the first place. Yeah. And I also just want to say that men and women innately pick up on jealous energy.

It's like a desperate energy and people can feel it. So if you're giving off that energy, it starts to manifest. And many times what you sort of manifest ends up coming true. So you've got to be really, really careful that you're not walking around with that or of jealousy. You know what I mean? That's our thoughts on jealousy. Last question before we head out, guys. At Alexa Hikens asked the best way to work through strong opposing opinions respectfully.

Well, shit, if I had that answer. Scream, yell, kick, whine. I think that it basically comes down to intention. Intention is everything. Lauren and I can really butt heads when we get into a heated debate where we disagree. But at the end of the day, we both know that our intention is in the right place. Like my delivery can sometimes be very off. I'm very aware of that as a person.

I can sometimes not say things the right way and end up being hurtful when I say things. But it's only with the intention of trying to make our relationship better or Lauren better or myself better. the people around us better. And so I think when we get to those places, a lot of times we can go back and say, wait a minute, what are we really trying to say here? What is, what is, what is, um, the right way to say it? Because I think there's, that's the other side of these relationships. It's not, it's not always what you say, it's how you say it. Um, and if you can take a step back and say, wait a minute, my partner's not responding to this in a productive way or in a way, um, that's positive. They're actually getting upset. It's taking a step back yourself and saying,

okay, wait, what am I trying to say and how can I say it better and communicating with your partner that that's exactly what you're trying to do. So when my delivery is off or when we're disagreeing on something and have opposing views on something, I try to step back and say, okay, this is what I'm trying to get across. This is what I'm trying to tell you in order to help in this way. And I think whenever I do that, Lauren's a lot more receptive. Wow, that was self-aware. Okay, so first of all, Michael and I do not fight about politics and religion. So if you guys are out there, and you're listening and you have opposing views with politics and religion, I can, I empathize for you. I think that that's probably really hard if you both have super strong opinions that are different when it

comes to politics and religion. So that's one thing that I want to say. Well, we're also, we're both not very political or very religious. So, you know, we're aware of what's going on, but we try. Like, for me, I do not enjoy talking politics and religion. So we just do it. I'm much more interested in talking about other things. So that, you know, I tend to stay away from that, both not just with Lauren, but in any social circle. My business partner gets pressured me all the time because I just never want to talk about it. But I can understand people that are passionate about it. So when we have strong opposing views about things, and I'm trying to think of like a good example, babe, something that's a really, really good example. I think that let's do a scenario. If we had children and we had really strong

opposing views, I think my form of communication with Michael would be a letter or a text message. And text message is so 2018, 19. But it's true. I'm really good. writing down my thoughts and why I'm thinking them, sometimes better than speaking them. So I think if something was really, really bothering me, I tend to text message him a 50-page-long text or write it down. So that's one thing. I think if it got to a point where it was so gnarly and heated, I would try to involve a friend that's neutral ground. We both have a friend named Weston, and he's super, super neutral ground, and he can provide sort of like tips and tricks without making it feel overwhelming. And then the third thing I would do is if it gets so bad that the opposing

views are getting like negative and it's starting to really affect your relationship, I would really recommend going to a therapist. Michael and I haven't done that, but if we needed to use that tool, it's certainly in our toolbox. All right, so we're going to wrap it up. Thank you guys so much for your questions. If you guys like that episode, please let me know on my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential and ask new fresh questions because if you like this, maybe we'll make it a thing. and we'll do it a couple times the year. A little relationship Q&A with Michael and I. Well, you know this show started as a Q&A from only listeners.

We get so into interviews now that sometimes we don't get to them, but I like to incorporate listener questions back into the show. And now that we do six episodes a month, I think it's easier to do that and be a little bit less guest focus and get the community back involved asking questions. Yeah, so keep asking your questions on my Instagram, and we will feature your handle and your question. We appreciate you.

We love you. Make sure you have rated and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, it takes five seconds. Thank you guys for listening and we'll see you next week. This episode is brought to you by Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning space offering more than 20,000 courses. I currently use the platform for multiple courses, learning quickbooks more. I've been jumping into After Effects, which we talked about, Photoshop, design. I really try to round out my edges when it comes to things that I'm not expert in. And whenever I need a quick reminder on how to use platforms that I may have not used in a while,

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