The Bossticks - Sami Clarke & Sami Spalter On Healing From The Inside Out, The Power Of Your Nervous System, & Becoming Magnetic To What You Desire

Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Before we get into this episode, I would love to tell you about my favorite charity, something I'm very passionate about for a long time. It's called I Stand With My Pack. It's a female-run nonprofit that's dedicated to saving animals. And I am so passionate about this charity. I had the founders on the podcast, and they talked all about how they rescue dogs from high-kill shelters, specifically in Southern California.

Starting point is 00:00:28 and their goal is to provide the animal with a loving foster home. So right now they are in need of donations and fosters, and this is going to help them to continue to save so many dogs' lives. If you go look at their Instagram, it's incredible what they've done. Even a dollar donation from every listener makes a really big impact. And it's really cool to see how they rehab these dogs. These dogs go from just have. having like the worst life ever to the best life ever. Very, very into this charity.

Starting point is 00:01:03 Istandwithmypack.org. You can donate or sign up to Foster. That's Istandwithmypack.org. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. You asked for it, and they're here. You asked for the Sammies. You may recognize the Sammies from social media. You may recognize them from their show called Transform, which is on Dear Media. Or you may recognize them from Instagram Rails. So to give you a little background before we get into it, Sammy Clark is a certified health, wellness, and fitness trainer. She is committed to guiding you towards a healthier lifestyle. And she's formally a model. She's completely transitioned her focus to training on the platform form. And additionally, you get Sammy Bernstein-Spattler, who is not only the co-founder of Form, but also the self-proclaimed number one form customer.

Starting point is 00:02:13 This episode is really cool because you get to see how they've built this wellness empire from the inside out and how they think about health, wellness, diet, and fitness. We go all over the place, per usual. Let's get into it with the founders of Form, the Samys. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. You guys know what you're doing. Pretend we know what we're doing. Oh my God, the king and queen.

Starting point is 00:02:39 The king and queen. Yes. Lauren, own it. Own it. I don't know about the king and queen. Michael thinks he's the king. I'll let him think he's the king. That's the trick to being married for this long.

Starting point is 00:02:50 You let them think they're the king. So wait, what is he a prince? I feel like I have a little king energy, but I'll just let you think that you're in the king. Whenever you get like this, I tell her like, put your fucking balls away. because part of the key to being marriage is your wife does not take her giant balls out and throw them on the table. That's why I let you think you're the king. Keep that in the show, Carson.

Starting point is 00:03:08 Okay. Welcome to the show. Sammy and Sammy. How did you guys meet through our husbands? Tell me that story. Oh, it's our favorite story to tell, our love story, honestly. It was COVID, so it was during the pandemic. I was actually in the midst of my weight loss journey.

Starting point is 00:03:26 And Andrew, who was at the time, my boyfriend, goes. my friend from middle school, J.T. Barnett, is dating this girl also named Sammy, and they live a half a mile away. Let's go for a walk with them. And I go, Sammy Clark, like, I do her YouTube 10-minute abs weekly. Please, like, I would love to meet her. And you guys know when you were living in L.A., when you actually can genuinely connect with someone, and it's someone that, like, you're almost manifesting a friend like that. We ended up going on one walk that turned into weekly walks every Tuesday during the pandemic and what started as just like a simple friendship turned into what is now our business. And I mean, we're very best friends, chosen sisters and the boys have known each other since middle school.

Starting point is 00:04:13 And did you feel, Sammy, that you had a gap in your business that she needed to fill? Or was that not anything? So I met her at a really interesting time. I actually was looking to start my business before I was even started. So form wasn't created yet. And I grew this crazy audience on social media. I had like 5,000 girls showing up for lives. If you were on those lives, I love you so much.

Starting point is 00:04:36 I was doing them five times a week, teaching workouts, just growing this organic, authentic community. And I knew I needed to take these people somewhere. I'm like, Instagram is just holding all of these people for me. And my most important thing was to stay so true to my craft and stay so true to the community. So I didn't want to be running the ops. And like, that's something I just knew. And so when I met Sam, I was like, okay, I feel like she is so my energy, but also she's run a business before and understands this.

Starting point is 00:05:04 And she was in her weight loss journey. We were just viving as friends. And then she actually asked me, she's like, I feel like we could be business. Because I was one of the girls on the lives. Like, I knew what was needed because I was her customer. You were in it. You were a practitioner. And that's the thing.

Starting point is 00:05:21 I had calls with these like old men that were like, let's do this. this. I'm doing this for her and her and her. And I was like, I cannot talk to you every day. And like, you don't understand my mission. This is way bigger than me being another person on your roster. Like, I need someone who wants to create something massive, but is doing it for the people. And that's when I talked to her. She didn't even do what, like, what she was doing before wasn't even what I were doing now. But I could feel like she understood my mission. It was ready to create it with me. And also was like not trying to be like the star of the show. She was like, how, do we make this the biggest thing ever and I want to support you. And I just felt her support from

Starting point is 00:06:00 day one and that's what I wanted. The brands that I've seen succeed across the board have a common denominator. And we've never talked about it on the show. They're the ones that have the lanes defined up front. And they're the ones where there is someone that can lean into the talent and the creative. And there's a person who's comfortable being behind the scenes and they're confident with themselves and they are really good at ops and sure they can come on, you know, a show or a TV appearance, but they're really good at operations. I think that makes such a good team. Have you guys found that? One million percent. Yeah. And I think it was nice because, as you perfectly said, it was that from day one. I looked at Sam as talent from day one. And I've also honored her

Starting point is 00:06:46 creative genius. And she looked at me as the business. She was like run the business. I want to be involved. I never want to be the person who's naive to what's going on and what the financials are and the ops, but I need to trust someone to run it. And before we work together, I ran an agency with my brother. So all I knew was working with someone who felt like family. And that was the only thing that we needed to discuss before we got started. It wasn't if Sam and I could balance that. It was, can we really do this as best friends? And I think that's the thing we do so well as in the beginning. We had a plan. We have pivoted that plan a hundred times four years later. Like, I think people feel like they need to have it all figured out of like what the business plan is, you know, just all the logistics.

Starting point is 00:07:32 And I'm like, we don't know what we're doing yet. You're going to run ops. I'm going to do this, but we showed up in each other's role also to learn each other's role in the entire business. Like I was on every financial meeting. I was listening around the ops. She was showing up to my workouts. She didn't need to be there. But we wanted to understand each other and be this team. And I feel like we have just truly grown and pivoted over four years. And it's not the same business that it was in the beginning or the same partnership. Have you guys read that book Rocket Fuel? Yes.

Starting point is 00:08:00 Is that the one with the orange cover? Yeah. It is. Okay. So I like that book, especially for people, I think like all of us that work in a dynamic where there's one that's kind of more of the big picture front facing person and the more of the operator. And it's funny.

Starting point is 00:08:13 And like in Lauren and I's dynamic, obviously she's more front facing and I'm more behind the scenes. but in Dear Media's dynamic, you guys work with us. Like, Paige is that counterpart for me on the op side, and I'm actually more front-facing for Dear Media. But it kind of articulates, you kind of need both people to push something. To your point, with Dear Media, that was such an obvious yes for us to sign with a network, because I couldn't be ops in that scenario.

Starting point is 00:08:40 I needed to actually be talent, and that's where you need to pick a lane. I mean, I do think you can touch both in a certain regard. Like with Form, I do host meet and greets. And it's amazing to meet the community because I offer a different story than Sammy does. But at the same time, 90% of the time, if not more, I'm behind the scenes running the ops. When it comes to transform, I want to be able to treat myself as talent. I want to have creative time to think through what's next. So it's your media.

Starting point is 00:09:10 You guys run, I mean, the entire operation, all the production, all the partnerships, everything. I don't have to use that side of my brain as much. Yeah, I think it's, I think business partners, and even couples get in trouble when they don't define those lanes in the beginning. And then there's like a little bit of confusion about like who's doing what

Starting point is 00:09:27 or what the vision is. Like for Lauren and I, even though we do this show together, like it's very clear. Like the reason it's called the skinny call, I mean for fucking forever, it was a giant pink cover. It did stay for a while.

Starting point is 00:09:38 But anyways, I think if I was trying to be the lead singer in that dynamic in the beginning, it would just been very, one would have been hard on the marriage and too, like it just wouldn't have scaled

Starting point is 00:09:47 the way it did. How did you guys? How did you guys set expectations with each other? Like, was there a conversation? You know, when you embody an energy and that person matches it, that was us. Like, it was like, I'm going to show up my best and embody this energy. And Sam and I were meeting each other always. It was just like a felt sense.

Starting point is 00:10:07 Synergistic. Yeah. What was your relationships to fitness, weight loss, workouts? I know you guys have had different journeys. I would love to just give the audience some context on that. So I feel like mine is always progressing, but how I got into it personally. Obviously, I am a fitness trainer. I started with moving to Los Angeles and I was in the modeling and acting world. I really got such a benefit from my family who taught me how to eat right. My dad was in personal training. So I really got to see how to feel good. And when I came to L.A., it was, I started to feel bad. You know, I started my mindset started to suffer. I started to sleep in. I was parting a lot. And I just saw that I felt really. really shitty and the only thing I kept doing was my movement and my movement was the thing that I could actually come home to and feel myself in. And so I started to share like all of my movement

Starting point is 00:10:59 that I was doing. And I remember these models on set were like, there's some glow about you that's happening. Like what are you doing? And this was something that changed my life. It made me feel again so much better when I was feeling in a really dark place. And so I started literally showcasing and sharing all of my workouts for free. I was like, I could do this. in my sleep because it has changed my life. Like once you've really tackled movement and not for an aesthetic feeling, but for actually the way it makes you feel, it's game over. You actually can't go days without it, even if it's a walk or if it's a 10-minute lift. And that's how I felt. I saw that mentally and physically it was changing my life. I felt more connected to myself. I felt more

Starting point is 00:11:36 intuitive. I felt somatically like myself moving trauma, moving things in my body. Like I was doing magical things. I didn't always have words for it. Now I have a lot more words for it. But I wanted to share it with everyone. And so that's kind of how my journey where I think a lot of people followed along is I just had an energy about me that was like, this will change your life. Just come and join me. And that's when I was doing those lives five times a week. And girls were like, I feel so good in 30 minutes. I need to continue doing this. And it's been my passion ever since. You can tell you're very passionate about it. Yeah. And what about your journey? Your journey was different. Very different. And I think this is where, you know, I do feel the need to speak so that other people can feel seen because there is such a demo out there who I know struggles the way I did for my entire life because I was overweight my entire life.

Starting point is 00:12:28 Like truly until the last couple of years, I was struggling with my weight in a really deep way. And I did not understand nutrition. I never enjoyed movement and I think back to even in middle school and high school I would do things like the cookie diet where you would eat these cardboard cookies that had these like random little chocolate chips that would give me like some little joy

Starting point is 00:12:53 or I did Jenny Craig. That was a real diet though? Oh yeah, it was called Smart for Life and I would literally eat these cookies all day. Remember the one, the drink that you would get at Rite Aid that was like the Hollywood. Oh yeah. I did this before you took me to San Carlo

Starting point is 00:13:07 your fraternity trip. You like drink. The drink like the lemon candy. Hollywood cleanse for like three days. I wonder what's in it. We should look back and see. That's hectic. You did it because you knew you were going to the beach with me?

Starting point is 00:13:20 Yeah. No, not just you. It was like everyone. I needed to like peacock my feathers. You were excited about it. Go ahead. I was right there with you, the right day drink. And was really just trying anything and everything.

Starting point is 00:13:34 And sure, I'd see some weight loss, but it would never stay. And we all know the story. When you're a yo-yo dieter, you try everything, but you never actually figure out what food you need to eat and what movement you're actually going to crave to create the lifestyle where you can actually maintain results. You're fucked. You're going to go right back. And when I moved to Los Angeles after I graduated college, I was heads down in my career. I've always been a workhorse. And that doesn't really help when you're on a wellness journey. And I was finding my new doctor in L.A. They made me step on. a scale, which was something I had avoided for probably like five years at that point. And it was a rude awakening. And it was a moment in time that I'll never forget because I looked at myself square in the mirror and said, you need change. You need change. If you want to live a long, beautiful life that you deserve, there has to be change here. And I've always been someone to look at experts. I know what I'm great at, but I also know who's an expert that I want right beside me to helped me change my life. So I hired a nutritionist. And at that time, I actually joined a CrossFit gym.

Starting point is 00:14:42 So that was an interesting moment of... It's moving in the right direction. We had to get her back. Yeah. It's not... It's better than sitting on the couch. Yeah. But it did introduce me to strength training, which is like my go-to bread and butter love. Yeah. And so much cortisol. And I mean, I basically, it was like Army boot camp every day. But it was a two-second walk from my apartment in Venice So there was no reason for me to not show up. So it was really just that proximity thing for me. And then after I had my year-long membership and I went five days a week, I said absolutely not. We are moving on to what else is out there. And that's when I started going on YouTube and figuring out, okay, who can I strength train with? That's not the CrossFit vibe. But at least it got you into strength training and got you consistent. It really did. Yeah. I mean, I learned self-discipline, which I always say now is my form of self-love. Like I needed to figure out control. I used to eat like a Costco muffin for breakfast, ones that are literally the size of your head. And then it was just, I had no good habits. I needed to start somewhere.

Starting point is 00:15:46 And I learned so much control, so much self-discipline. And then found YouTube workouts like Sammy Clarks would do those, fall in love with those, started walking, fell in love with walking, started introducing Pilates, which I love adding in a couple of days. And really just became so intuitive with myself. and I never had a connection to my body. I was truly living dissociated from my body for the longest time. It was almost like, you know that feeling when you rent a car and you don't really give a shit? You're like, yeah, like we can leave the trash in it. That's how I felt.

Starting point is 00:16:18 Or now I'm like driving my dream car. Just remind me never to rent you a car. That's like, I don't know about that. That sense of ownership of like, this is mine. Treat it with respect. And now I feel like my body is my temple. I love it. I want to honor it.

Starting point is 00:16:33 I want to show up every day and give it what it wants. And I mean, I'm just so proud of myself for figuring it out. And now I get to surround myself in it day in and day out. And I think it's no accident that we're doing what we're doing. So how long was it when, since when you started the CrossFit to where you felt like you were comfortable in your body and you were getting the results? Like how many years of that takes? I think sometimes people, like I'm super vocal about talking about how long some of this stuff takes, because people will look at you guys and what you've accomplished now.

Starting point is 00:17:06 They're like, oh, like, it's got to be quick. And sometimes if they think that way, they'll kind of fall off. And so I just, I think it's important to talk about, like, how long it actually took. Absolutely. And I love this topic more than anything because I think there are so many quick fixes out there right now. And I always ask myself, like, with my weight loss journey that did take over five years, I didn't know about it was Zemphic five years ago. Like, what would I have done then?

Starting point is 00:17:26 I don't actually know. But I took a really long road to get here. And I'm grateful because I learned those. habits. So yeah, five years, year one was zero to 100. So year one was in hindsight too restrictive, but there were big results. I went full keto and full CrossFit. Like, wow. So you did like the bandaid ripped off. Oh, that bandaid was off and I was honestly living in a box. Like again, hindsight 2020. I don't think that's the worst thing though in the beginning. You force the Japanese is coming out of you. No, no, I mean, I just, I think this is because,

Starting point is 00:18:03 your your side of you that's Japanese is very disciplined I'll give you like very disciplined like I've never heard him say he's craving anything he eats you eat until

Starting point is 00:18:18 this is such your favorite topic it's fascinating it is fascinating it's not like the normal human you eat he just stops when he's 80% full it's a different kind of thing I don't know I grew up with a Japanese grandmother and that was very normal

Starting point is 00:18:33 on our household. Like that we, there was never like you finish every ounce of your plate. It's that when you're full, you're full and you just move on. But you don't. Something's really good though. Don't. I'm like, ooh, one more bite of sourdough and maybe another bite. Are you consciously like it's being like, okay, I am 80% full? I'm going to stop or your stomach just like knows. And then I don't like the feeling of feeling like really full. Well, I don't either. But if it's really good, I'm like, eh. I don't know. I think like fortunately I found and it's funny because as you were talking about

Starting point is 00:19:03 the way you feel. Like, I found these kind of activities since I was young. I was always in sports. I know you have a boyfriend that plays hockey. I grew playing hockey. I did all that stuff. So I was always in some kind of gym do this. And for me at this point now with two kids another on the way, like, I don't do anything for the aesthetic. I do it just all for how I feel. Like I feel like I could not get through. That sounds like you do. Well, I think 100%. I mean, definitely don't get me wrong when someone compliments like you look really great. It feels so good. And when you feel good in your body. And even like I also want to say, like, that was a hard thing for me posting on YouTube. The thumbnails that did the best were get abs in 10 minutes. The clickbait. You know, the clickbait. But at the end of the day,

Starting point is 00:19:42 what I think form is brought, which I'm so grateful for, is the feeling. And I think once you actually, I actually think movement, and you guys tell me your thoughts, I think movement is the number one way people actually meet themselves. But it's, it seems like the safest way. It's not like, let me go to therapy. Let me go, I don't know, go to a retreat and do something crazy. I'm going to move my body and they think it's for an aesthetic feeling, but actually it's for an internal, like, spiritual feeling, in my opinion, because that's why I think everyone needs it and keeps coming back to it because it is, like, way bigger than just the way you look. It's meditative. I also, like, look at movement as a strategy session with myself, like, where I can plan what I'm

Starting point is 00:20:22 going to do for the day. It is totally more than just aesthetic. I have a personal, like, people that are close to me in my personal life, I have a rule, like, I don't want to hear about their feelings. I don't want to hear about their depression or their anxiety or their sadness or other business failing if they're not moving their body at least four times a week. A lot of these things, and I know people don't like to hear this, a lot of these things with mood disorders and depression and anxiety would be cured if people got out and exercised four to five times a week. If I sat in the house seven days a week, I would have a mood disorder. And I can say this as somebody who would. I know like, you know, like you know, for sure. Whatever. I would feel a son.

Starting point is 00:20:55 Imagine if I sold you like you're not going to be able to work out for a full month, like what that's going to do now that you know how it feels. And listen, I'm not saying that some of those disorders and anxieties are not real, but you can accomplish and move away from so much of that if you get out and move your body and get those endorphins flowing. And I just, the reason I won't talk to people in my personal life that aren't doing those things is like, I know, I know what it will do for them if they actually start developing a routine. And my personal opinion is a lot of that stuff goes away once you start building personal confidence, moving your body, getting endorphins, getting your chemicals and your brain working properly. It's important.

Starting point is 00:21:31 I agree. I mean, it's like proven scientifically. I will say this to actually like go another direction. When I got my boobs done, I couldn't work out for, they said it was like four weeks and ended up being like almost eight weeks because I had to like, they had to like really car. It was my second surgery. So they had to really do some stuff. And I remember not moving for eight weeks of someone who's moved for so long. That was a moment in time where I had to actually meet myself in ways talking about mood disorders and depression and all the stuff. I had to like really go within, which actually was a really great time for me. But I actually got to see that movement can be also an escape for people, that they don't actually face their things because they're going to go

Starting point is 00:22:12 move in the gym and forget it and ignore it, where I got to actually be like, movement is my favorite tool to meet myself. And also this time without movement has allowed me to actually like be there for me. I think there's a little bit of a lie going on. Tell it. Everyone's going to get so mad at me. So I have this theory that with surgeries, they tell you not to work out for six weeks. Yeah, mine was long. I don't believe it. And this is my own research that I've conducted on myself. The reason you don't believe it is we've had doctors tell us after.

Starting point is 00:22:44 Like, yeah, we have to stay it to cover us for liability. Oh, yeah. Really? So I have had doctors tell me off air. After I had my boobs done for the second time. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to go to the gym. after a week. I'm not going to, I'm not going to move anything up here. Yeah, right. I'm not going to do chest. Squat and I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to lunge and I'm going to stretch and I'm going to just get to the gym and walk. And so I did that after a week. Yeah. Your lymphatic system gets going. So it's totally healed faster. All that anesthesia starts rushing through you quicker because you're moving. And I text the doctor and said, I just want to let you know I did this. And he goes, between you and I,

Starting point is 00:23:25 you're 100% right. We have to like buy some kind of law. Well, they don't want to take liability. And people are like, when are you going to go back to the gym after you have a baby? Probably, to be honest, TikTok, light it up after two weeks. I'm not going to lift weights. I'm going to sit there probably and just be at the gym. Maybe light's stretching.

Starting point is 00:23:47 I'm going to walk. I'm going to move my body. You know what you need. And I love you for saying this because I recently got my boobs done last year. I love that. We all have this. I was moving. I've seen a lot of, like, I've seen a lot of things.

Starting point is 00:23:59 Michael, how about you? He's all different kinds. Yeah, I was moving within a couple of weeks. And I remember Sam being like, are you well? Like, are you sure you're well? And I just knew within my body, because of what I spoke to before, I'm so connected with my body. I knew I needed to go for a walk. I knew I needed just some, like, squat some lower body action.

Starting point is 00:24:17 And yeah, I definitely wasn't going to go chest press or do any chest stuff. But, like, there were things that my body was craving that I needed. I think we've lost the art of listening to our intuition. And it's the same with lifting while pregnant. So many people are like, are you lifting? Yeah, I'm lifting. How am I doing it? I'm listening to my body.

Starting point is 00:24:38 Today I went to Ben to pick something up and it was too heavy and I stopped. Like I just think there has to be some kind of internal compass that we rely on as opposed to like you can't do this. You can't. It's not one size fits all. It's not that. It's just like humans are really good at taking the path of least. resistance. So if we're told that we can take a break, we're going to lean into that break really heavily. Sitting in bed does not make me feel good after surgery. In fact, it makes me feel depressed because

Starting point is 00:25:04 their anesthesia, it's not moving. You think about it. You're not like getting it. I don't know. It's why I hate it. There's this message all the time. Like there was this weird period of time in the last few years. We all know the time I'm talking about. Whereas like you had to love yourself unconditionally no matter what, even if you were being a total piece of shit. And I couldn't, I can't, I hate that message. I'm like, why? Like, I have children. And if they're screwing around and lounging around and eating like shit and not taking care of this, I'm like, I'm not going to say love yourself.

Starting point is 00:25:32 I'm going to say, you got to get your shit together, buddy. Michael already pulls the wagon and runs it away from my kids and says, got to run for it. Oh my God. They're two and four. They're in training. We were talking earlier about how you went super heavy into it in the first year. And I was like not even talking about fitness, but if one of my friends came to me in a business context and was saying, hey, I'm not getting the results I want financially with my business. like there's probably a crash course period of time. I'm like, you've got to be so out of balance

Starting point is 00:25:56 and go like all in and you're going to be not getting a lot of sleep and you're going to have to do a lot of shit that's really miserable and you're not going to have time with friends and family and girls. Like maybe just for a short period of time, you got to like shock yourself a bit. And then over time, you can ease off of that. But I do think it's good to kind of go all in in the beginning. I agree. I feel like my fitness journey honestly showed me every way of how to show up in life because you need to try it all. You need to see what works for you. You need to be able to say, great for you, not for me. I know what works for me because I'm in touch with myself. And to not look at movement as a punishment too. I think that's where I was before. And it's a lot of what we talk about of really honoring the feeling because when movement's not a punishment, but it's actually this privilege of like we get to do this. We get to feel really strong. I mean, what a gift it is to feel that feeling. And of course, there's like those aesthetic drivers. But at the end of the day, I mean, that feeling for me is everything. It's everything. There's an individual that Lauren and I will

Starting point is 00:26:58 sometimes see at the gym. And I really admire this person. He's struggling and he doesn't have full function of his of his legs. And he's in the gym all the time. And whenever I see that, I'm like, that person would give anything to just have normal bodily function to be able to do the workouts that we all dread so much. And when I see that, I'm like, it's inspiring. Because to your point, like, it's something that if you're an able-bodied person, you take for granted sometimes. Like, oh, this is something I have to do. And then there's people like that that would give anything to be able to do that. And, like, I just think it's helpful to have that kind of context because to your point, like, it's a privilege to be able to move that way and be healthy and have full function. And I would give a tip to anyone if they are starting out. The way you start to enjoy something is actually know how to do it.

Starting point is 00:27:45 Like, educate yourself on actual good form. When you go to the gym and you get hurt or you actually like mess it up, I feel. feel like you don't enjoy it as much, but if you actually understand how to move your body and take that time to get good at it, it's going to take you for the rest of your life. I agree with that. Even though we're in April, we can still stick to our resolutions. Why do most New Year's resolutions fail? It's not a lack of effort or willpower. It's your gut.

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Starting point is 00:32:45 Your mouth tape. Yeah. Addicted. You're addicted. I love the mint roller. I'm so happy you guys. This is just the skinny confidential line. No, literally. It's just like a funny thing, but I didn't want to be like, okay, I did it for my jaw at first. I was like, I really want a jaw line. But anyway, the mouth tape has changed my life. It works so well, right? Yeah, it's really good. And I've been taking it and doing the hole over my upper lip to give myself a facelift while I sleep. So it's like, it's like pulling the face up because you don't want to put it on and pull the face down. But also just getting rid of the slit even, like makes you like, makes you like. like even breathe in deeper to your nose. Wow. Okay. Do you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:33:25 I don't know. So like I love you. I'll do it. Were you like a mouth breather? I don't think I was a heavy mouth breather, to be honest. But I feel like just the difference I feel of the sleep I get. Even not being a mouth breather, I feel like it's been night and day. You know what?

Starting point is 00:33:43 There can be baby mouth breathers. You're a baby mouth breather. I don't doubt it. I catch you with a, it's a small sliver of a mouth. Lauren says I'm a millimeter off, which is why. have to have a little bit of facial. What do you do in that moment? He should mouth tape.

Starting point is 00:33:55 He doesn't listen to me. Well, but I need you to make one that picks on my beard. It does spin on your beard. Put it on tonight. I'll just cover your mouth with my hand. Yeah. There you go. Yeah, you got to try it.

Starting point is 00:34:05 Since I'm a millimeter off, I can't shave this thing down or else. No, don't shave that down. What are your things? Are you sonning? Are you cold plunging? What are your things that you reach for all the time? Meditating. What are you doing?

Starting point is 00:34:16 My absolute without a doubt is get outside. Like, even in the morning when it's, 20 degrees here in Austin, like putting your face in fresh air and just taking some breasts, I even will take it a step further if I can and put my feet in my grass and just like literally feel the energy from the freaking ground that we all have for free. It is my favorite way to connect with nature, to connect with like God, spirits, whatever you believe in. I'm like, we are doing this day together. Nature, we are one. Like, let me be here with you. So that is like one of my absolutes. And then I love, this is my new thing too, is meditating outside if the weather is also good. So I'll put my headphones in. I actually recommend meditating with headphones in. So no distractions are happening. And like you're just zoned in. I have this really cute video of my dog literally meditating next to me while I was outside. It was iconic when I woke up. I mean, when I opened my eyes and he was also meditating. But meditation for sure. Right now I'm doing a future self meditation. I'll change my meditations. I'll do it like consistent for a month or 60 days. But no matter what I need to be with myself.

Starting point is 00:35:20 Like I need to have that time for me or else I will be a monster and I will not be my best self. So I have to, have to have to do that. I'm doing a future self meditation by Nikki Novo right now. And it's literally you meeting your future self. It could be five years from now, 10 years from now. And the energy you feel from her, the one that is like so in her center, so in her body, it is angelic. And you just feel her and you take it on. And I feel like I'm like wearing her today.

Starting point is 00:35:46 And it's the best feeling. So I love doing my meditation. Another huge one that I've been doing is self-check-ins. So I'll set like four to six alarms. It seems extreme. But when you have a business and you're running all day, you can be like, I don't remember the day. So I have check-ins that go throughout my day and I'll just be an alarm.

Starting point is 00:36:03 And it literally says like, you are magic and it has like a hug emoji. And I'll check in with my breath. And I'll ask myself, okay, on the nervous system, what, like, where are you at right now? Are you in sympathetic? Are you in dorsal? Are you in bagels? like I asked myself and I ask myself what number on the scale. And then I'll use a tool to help myself give back to regulation. It is one of my favorite things ever. It just allowed me to see how my

Starting point is 00:36:27 body can go out of regulation, which is so normal, but how to bring it back. I love that. I think the nervous system's going to get some really good PR in the next couple years. I love the nervous system. I love the nervous systems. You know what is not good for my nervous system. Your alarm clock this morning that I will be turning off. If you want to set an alarm clock, you can go sleep in the of the room. I wanted to talk to you about this on air. Wait, what is it? It's just, I don't want an alarm clock. It's just, I put it across. I sleep with my phone, like, on airplane across the room. Yeah, we can hear it. Everyone can hear it.

Starting point is 00:36:57 That's right. Yeah, but like the classic alarm clock noise. No, not the like gnarly one. No, he's not allowed to use that. It's the one, it's the, it's the, it's the bed time app that slowly wakes you up. Oh, okay. It's like a slow. If he used that alarm clock, that's serving papers by it. The one with like the sinking ship, you know, that one is yesterday. No, yeah. We're not doing that. But I honestly. But I honestly.

Starting point is 00:37:16 I think that like just waking up naturally would be a lot better. Yeah, but I mean, okay, in the winter, it's hard when it's so dark out. Because normally we wake up at the sun, but right now it's like pitch by the life. Would you do the eight sleep that vibrates to wake you up? Yeah, I love. Mine doesn't vibrate. So you can set the alarm within it. I would love to be vibrated away.

Starting point is 00:37:36 Right, me too. I had that vibrating thing on. It vibrates you? Yes, like a very subtle. I'll turn that on. She's there. Yeah, it's gentle. You don't get me the vibrator?

Starting point is 00:37:44 No, you have it. You've never. put that on. Well, you don't have an alarm. You just kind of wake up as you wake up. I've woken up being vibrated. Well, because I have to get up before the kids. Like, if I can't get up, if I get up and they're going and I'm just waking, it's a total mess. So what time is that for you? Like today I got up at 6.30. So that's crazy. Yeah. And you wake up naturally, no alarm. You can just get up at 7. Now, that's amazing. No alarm. But you'll do that when you have kids because guess what time I'm in bed? Like 9 or 8? Oh, that's hot.

Starting point is 00:38:13 Yeah, that is hot. We were just talking about this. I love that. an 8, 8.30. Love language. But like a sleep by what time? A sleep, ideally, 845. Oh, yeah. Maybe 9.30. Not for me.

Starting point is 00:38:28 I'm asleep. I'm done. Shows over. What is in your wellness toolbox? Yes. I feel like a recent one that I took from. I just did, I went to the Hoffman Institute. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:38:38 A lot of people love that. I am forever changed. Did you really seriously loved it? It's not like propaganda vibe. Zero propaganda. It changed my life. Okay, so tell us what, yeah, I know you can't tell us everything. We can't tell us because I'm going into July. We've had a bunch of people like, nobody said anything bad about it. No, everyone said good. Everyone we know that's gone to it has said good things. Yeah. I think every human can benefit. Okay. I went in with a lot of intentions around healing my

Starting point is 00:39:04 relationship with my mom who passed. But what I got out of it was so much more for myself. I truly came home to myself. I found tangible tools that I've also taken that I've used every single day. So I got home January 24th. So it's been about a month. And my phone has not entered my bedroom. It stays downstairs on airplane mode. I haven't watched TV since I've gotten back. I've barely been on social media. Those things in itself. Make you feel so good. Oh my gosh. Did your husband go with it or no? No, you did not. You can't go. You're not allowed to know anyone. Oh, you're not. What are you going to do if I go? I know, honestly. Andrew. What are you going to do?

Starting point is 00:39:46 do. I've had to bring the language like into our marriage so that he understands. Oh, I'm sure he loves that. What's the language? Tell me what the language. Okay. So this is one thing that you are going to love. So they do something called a quadrinity check. And I'm not going to give any of the magic because there's so much magic in the unknown for anyone who wants to go. But simply put a quadrinity check that I do every single morning. You go through four things. It's your body, your intellect, your emotional self, which can also be your inner child and your spiritual self. So every single morning, my meditation goes through all four aspects of self. So we go through body, intellect, emotional, self, spiritual self. Like how you feel in each of those things? Yeah. Yeah. Like what is your body trying to tell you right now?

Starting point is 00:40:31 What is your intellect trying to tell you? My intellect gets in the fucking way. Let me tell you that. Like, I have been so intellect driven for such a majority of my life, which I now know is me trying to find safety for myself from a very young age. And then my emotional. And then my emotional. emotional self, this inner child has been completely neglected. And now all I want to do is anything inner child related. So, I mean, here in Austin, I go wake surfing as often as possible. I made Andrew go rollerblading with me recently. We do dance lessons. We do tennis. It's like anything where I can feel like a kid and just show up to have fun. Like that is the only goal. Without the phone, which I love. No, no phone. If I went rollerblading right now, oh my God. We can wake up. No, we can not go right now.

Starting point is 00:41:16 Not right now. After. Yeah. I'm rolling like a ball down the fucking boardwalk. I crush it on some rollerblades. I hate to say. It's not the coolest thing to say. No, it's cool. Wait, hold on.

Starting point is 00:41:27 You said you apply this to your marriage. How do you apply this four part series? Wait, but quickly, how long did you go to the place? So it's a week. Yeah, you're there for a week. You are fully unplugged, which I've also never done. So no. Every year I will be unplugging.

Starting point is 00:41:43 So no week, yeah. So how do you apply it to your marriage? I think, okay, first it's for self. And I think that was such a big lesson that I took out of it was I'm not actually doing this for anyone but me now. And like that could sound selfish, but I think the better you are, the better your marriage is. A hundred percent agree. So, I mean, Andrew was just reaping the benefits of me doing the damn work. And I check in with myself on all those things every day. And then I get excited about things that I bring into my marriage. But I would say for my marriage, specifically, I'm way more present. I'm not bringing my baggage. I'm able to respond and not react as much. This sounds pretty good, but maybe you should go. I don't want to switch on my whole personality. No, I know. Honestly, come back a different woman. Yeah, it is, it's pretty hardcore, but I absolutely loved it. It changed me in the best ways, but I actually don't think it changed my personality. I think I'm just leading with a better part of myself that I had really pushed down. And I think because I was so

Starting point is 00:42:45 intellect driven for so long. Like I was success oriented, very career oriented. And when you do that, you're kind of putting your spiritual self to the side and ignoring it versus allowing it to be what drives you and what allows you to make decisions. This is interesting that you bring this up. And I want to talk more about this on the podcast. So I've noticed that a lot of women who are really driven, like you too, like me, entrepreneurial, there's almost like a resumed. resistance to feminine energy. And I've heard a lot of women come on this podcast and be like, I'm delaying having kids. I'm delaying getting married because I'm so focused on my career. How are you both balancing that? Because I've had a lot of different iterations in my own life with

Starting point is 00:43:33 masculine and feminine energy. Yeah. Well, I get to be a dad for form. Like that's where I show up with that amount of energy. So when it comes to my marriage, my friendships, my home, like I'm, I'm able to be extremely feminine. And I'm grateful for that. I'm able to lead with love. And I mean, I definitely have a lot of love in my work too. But there's a certain level of compassion that is so present at home and in my marriage. And I definitely did not put off getting married. I have traditional values, though. Like I do. I wanted to get married as soon as I knew I wanted to get married. and I think my marriage has only allowed me to go that much further in my career because of the support. I'm excited to have kids soon.

Starting point is 00:44:21 Like that's definitely a chapter. I'm excited. A lot of women are putting it off. I agree. And Lauren, honestly, I have been thinking to myself, like, I'd love, and I feel like we need to have a big conversation on this. Like, I'd love someone who shows me how to do it all because I don't think there's enough examples out there of people actually showing you. Maybe it's not the balance, but like the proof of you can have both. Yeah, I think you totally can. And I think that you can pick and choose like you just said, where you allocate your feminine and masculine. I think it's like it's almost like a strategy sort of. Yeah. Like you can lean into one in a certain area. I think it's like not even about can have both. I think it's obviously it's possible you can. But I also think that it's you're all everyone's also up against biology and reality. And at some point if you put it off for too long, you know, then it's, you know, like if you want to if you want to if you want to.

Starting point is 00:45:13 to have to have to do. Careful. But I think, I think, I think Lauren and I, I realize, like, if we want to have multiple children, we had no choice, because we're not the youngest, we had no choice but to kind to kind of do it all at the same time. For me, like, my, building my, my tribe and my family is number one. And I think I don't talk about this enough on this show. It's number one. Like, don't get it twisted. Like, everyone's like, oh, you're a hustler, you're an entrepreneur. Of course. That's part of my personality. But I'm a fucking. an octopus, I have tentacles. And one of my tentacles is entrepreneurship, but I have a lot of

Starting point is 00:45:49 other tentacles. And the head is my infrastructure of my family. I just think that this conversation needs to be talked about more with really strong women because I don't think it's being talked about enough. And I think women are like, I need to hustle. I need to be ambitious. And I'm going to put that off until later. But do you get what I'm saying is like, I guess for us, we knew we wanted to have multiple kids and you know we started in our early 30s and for that to be possible it's like we there's no choice but to kind of do it all at the same time with everything else like it was just it was not even like it was just like got hit the chase with reality it's not about balance like you can do it simultaneously what about you what's your vibe on that yeah I think this is I don't know how do I say this say it

Starting point is 00:46:31 this is a show no I feel like I have a lot of like mixed energy around this but first to the femininity think feminine and masculine actually get like this very this rep that actually isn't true. I think being creative is feminine. So I actually think you're and you're feminine a lot, Lauren, as you are because as much as your ops, you're being a creative. Like you're creating creation as well. So I feel like we're more in our feminine, but we feel like this is masculine. So I think that they have actual different reps that are not true. And then I also think business gets a lot more attention and applaud than being a mom. So I think women go after the respect and wanting to be applauded because I would say I get way more wins for, hey, you're an entrepreneur. Look what you're doing with your business.

Starting point is 00:47:21 Rather than, wow, you got married. That's incredible. Let's talk about that. It's like the business is the number one thing that I get rewarded for. So I feel like women chase that more because you get way more light and attraction. And I think if you are, like, I had to ask myself this. I think, think being an entrepreneur is easier, even though being a mom and a wife is my number one thing. It was harder for me to go there because I had a lot of blocks and things I needed to work through. Marrying JT had me step into a lot of places I didn't want to go. I think being a businesswoman wasn't escape for me in a lot of beautiful ways. Marriage is always what I've wanted, but I've had to step into places that I didn't want to go and I think women aren't ready for that. That's an opinion.

Starting point is 00:48:04 I totally, I think you're right. And I think that's why this conversation is so important. to have because I think, you know, people are waiting and waiting and waiting and I just think it's important to talk about both sides. Yeah. Because I've realized that like even with myself, the image that I've put out there is so entrepreneurial go, go, go, but there's a completely different side of me that I'm not posting because my phone's not at my asshole. But we were literally just talking in the car the other day.

Starting point is 00:48:34 And obviously like now we've had two kids another on the way and we were both looking to it. is there is no perfect time. Like it's like it's just the, no, there's not perfect time. It's like we've always tried, like, Lauren and I plan things out. You're like,

Starting point is 00:48:46 fuck, I got to go to the holidays with all these people and I'm pregnant. Or fuck, it's summer. Yeah. And I think people think that they're going to arrive at this convenient time. No. And listen,

Starting point is 00:48:57 I do think if you can pay your bills, obviously, and you're in a place where you have a little bit of financial stability, that's obviously helpful. You can afford help and all that. But in terms of timing

Starting point is 00:49:06 and locking with career and all that, Like there is no perfect time. We have friends that are older than us that delayed. And now like their struggle is they have less energy and they got to start to try to do the family. And we have friends. It's all hard at different age. You're 21.

Starting point is 00:49:18 You have a baby. We have siblings that started really young. And that was a, like, it's all hard. And I had a mentor of mine and I was telling him like, oh, I got these other kid on the way. And he's like, listen, Michael, he goes, whether you have a little money or a lot of money or a shitload of money, the kids take all the money. It doesn't matter. They're taking it all anyway. Or the wife does.

Starting point is 00:49:37 I think like my big thing is like there's no convenient time. I feel like a great question for the women, especially listening, that I had to ask myself, again, I wanted a marriage, I want a family, asking yourself, am I making this decision from fear or from love? If you are making the decision I'm not having a baby from fear, then that is something to look at. Because if you're making it from love of like it really isn't the right time, like where I'm at, understand. But if it's from fear of like, I need to focus on my career, it needs all my time. I can't do this. I do think it's a moment for you to sit with it and being like, if this is actually what I want, I really can do it all from this place of love.

Starting point is 00:50:12 I think that's a great question. It also reframes it. It's like abundance and scarcity. I mean, it's the most challenging thing in the world, and we've done hard things, but it's the most rewarding thing. And what I always remind myself for people that are fearful of, it's like, this has been done before for thousands and thousands of years with people that have much less. And I'm not talking about financial resources, but I'm just saying, like, we live in a time where we have technology and medicine and resources and stability and safety. Back in the day, you were lucky if your kid made it past adolescent. Like a lot of people had so many kids because the kids just wouldn't make. it because of the conditions we lived in. So I don't know. I mean, like, yes, it's hard. Yes, it's challenging. Everyone's under different circumstances, but it is the most rewarding thing. And I think it's worth it to explore for everybody. That was a little fun tangent. You guys have both been really open about your challenges while you've been present online. What has that been like? And why did you both decide to open up about any of the things you were experiencing or struggling with? I mean, my gut punch on that was it accidentally happened to me.

Starting point is 00:51:17 I started kind of showing, you know, oh, I've had this journey with weight loss. And, oh, my mom died suddenly. Oh, I mean, whatever it was, it was kind of just like something I blurted out because it is my story. And then people wanted more. And then people wanted more.

Starting point is 00:51:37 And then people wanted a lot more. And I think for me, I have so many passions in life. But I have found such a purpose in making people not feel alone in their hardest moments and in their hardest days. And the fact that people can now look at me, whether it's from my weight loss journey or through my grief, and see the face of someone who did it and see what's possible for them, because I never even thought this was possible for myself. That to me keeps me going. And that to me is the answer to say yes, to, you know, speak about

Starting point is 00:52:13 it on a podcast or to try to make a reel that gives like a little bit of that feeling. And yeah, I would say I do it for the collective. Like I want people to feel seen. I want people to feel loved. And I want everyone to know that whatever they desire in this life is possible. I feel like I'm kind of the girl who has had to earn it a little bit more. Like I've always had to go the extra step. I'm almost walking through life with like ankle weights on. Like it hasn't always been easy. but I've learned the grit that's allowed me to live the life that I do. And you know what? I am running my dream company alongside my best friend.

Starting point is 00:52:49 I am in a marriage that is the happiest, healthiest thing. I could not love. I know Andrew loves you, Lauren, I do you think. I feel like you guys really hit it off at Dear Media, IRL. Just like every facet of my life has really, really benefited from me doing the work. and I just want everyone to look at myself and see what's possible for them. Why did you decide to open up about your mom specifically and how are you handling the grief? Has Hoffman really helped with that?

Starting point is 00:53:23 Hoffman definitely helped with it. And, you know, that was my number one intention of going in, but I got so much more for myself out of that. I think Hoffman helped me find compassion for my mom. My mom was an alcoholic and my entire childhood I was asking her like, why, why, why, why, why why? Like, why can't you just be like the normal mom's? Like, why are you showing up this way? And it was really difficult. And she died from the reason that I always thought she would. And that was a really harsh reality check for me two years ago. And it was really hard for me to find compassion,

Starting point is 00:54:01 for me to accept that, for me to be able to do those things to forgive her. And, I realized when I started talking about my mom that it was healing. It was really healing. And, you know, before she died, I wouldn't even tell people she was an alcoholic. Like, it was something that I felt was hers to share and I didn't want to speak poorly on her name. And you know what? It's actually a part of my story too. And I'm not alone in that. There's a lot of people who struggle. And the more I talk about it, the more I I deeply heal and I can own it in a way that becomes this tangible thing that pushes me forward and projects me into exactly where I know I want to go versus what's holding me back from doing

Starting point is 00:54:49 everything I want to do. I think you become like a real adult when you start to have empathy and compassion for your parents and their childhood and what they went through and their experience. And then you become a parent and then you're like, oh, wait, this is really hard. I can understand why this could have happened. And I needed to do that before I brought life into this world. And I've known that. Like a lot of people, I've been married.

Starting point is 00:55:14 You know, it's almost two years now. My mom died three and a half months before my wedding. So it's a similar timeline. I have had really direct and open conversations with Andrew of, I need to heal this within me before I bring a human life into this world. And I'm so grateful that I get to sit here and say I fucking did it. And yeah, I mean, my mom was once also just a kid trying to figure it out. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:36 And I can hold so much compassion for her, so much acceptance. And I fully forgive her for everything that I had to deal with based on what her life amounted to. Do you, I, the audience is going to get mad because I say this because it's like my best tip. Do you consume Louise Hay? Because a lot of the things. How to heal your life. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:55 It's a lot of like, it's, it's that energy. You know, I've never actually read it. It's one of those. My favorite thing. You know when someone. I read it like five times here. Because Melissa would help also loves. She loves it.

Starting point is 00:56:06 I mean, you two are such vision holders for me and I feel like if you both love it, I need to read it. And it's something, you know, when something keeps repeating itself as a recommendation for you. So now I'll officially read it. I think you'll like it. Because a lot of the things your pillars are very aligned with that. She has one of the most soothing voices.

Starting point is 00:56:25 If you guys like meditation, it's like. I turn on the meditation. The whole house was asleep. Everyone's like, ah. I love that. That's what we need in the way. She's like one of those vintage tapes. recorders with the tapes.

Starting point is 00:56:37 Here's my theory. I haven't talked about this yet. I bought tape recorder and a CD player because I don't want my phone by my bed, by my ear. I want it out of the bedroom, even on airplane mode. I want it away from me. So I got the tape. A lot of people listening. What the hell is a CD player?

Starting point is 00:56:52 Wait, they have tape. The tape was found on eBay. Used. And I got the CD too. And I listen to it every night. My kids love it. It's like, it's very relaxing. But that meditation, the evening one is so amazing.

Starting point is 00:57:06 and it talks about your parents. Oh, you would like it. Okay. So, everyone go by, well, there, you better go fast. Remember back in the day, you drive in the car with the giant CD books? Yeah. You had the giant CD books. Oh, yeah, I love those.

Starting point is 00:57:18 I miss it. I still have my families. I love those. And you can burn them off the computer and you're like, put your songs. That was like how you like tried to like hook up with me. I made you CDs back in a mix stage. You would make me CDs. You had a newfound glory like all the songs.

Starting point is 00:57:31 Like you wrote out which, which one like. Yeah, that's what you had. There was no like making a playlist. Back in the day, you had to like buy in the, you had to download it from some sketchy platform. In high school, when I got in your car, you were like, don't sit on my CDs. And there was like a huge trapper keeper of your CDs. And then you were like trying to show off. And I was like, oh, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:57:49 I remember back in the day you went bought DVDs. And then you were real fancy if you had the no skip CD player. Mm-hmm. Remember Blockbuster? Oh, of course. What about you, Sammy? How have you decided to open up about challenges, struggles on social media? So I've been in this game for 10 years. So when I think about when I first started, it felt very natural for me, like intuitive. I just felt like I really did want to, I don't know, I felt like I was FaceTiming a friend when I started posting on stories and Instagram. Like I really did. I did not have the moment of like, I don't, I care what my friends think. Like I just was really connecting online with the girls. Even if it was like five girls talking back to me, I really felt seen.

Starting point is 00:58:34 And in LA, you can kind of feel a little alone. And I felt like I was connecting to people. So from the beginning, I felt intuitively like I wanted to be really sharing and be really true. I had a really intense skin journey. I struggled with acne for six years and like intense cystic acne. And this is when I was the most in front of a camera. So I was, you know, filming YouTube videos. And it was just straight face of acne.

Starting point is 00:58:56 And that was probably my most vulnerable time to try and hide that. And instead I had to choose to show that. So it felt like it almost was happening again for me. of like, are you ready to share this thing that so many girls struggle with? And every time I shared a part of me, I just felt so much closer to humanity. I'm like, this is why I'm here. I'm here to connect. And ever since then, I feel like there's days. Like, I'll say right now, there's things that I'm processing in my life, like deep, deep, deep work that I'm going through. I think it's because I'm wanting to be a mom. And I think there's a lot that's like, I think my, I think my babies are

Starting point is 00:59:34 like, all right, can you just do this and then we're ready to come in? And the work that I'm doing right now, I keep telling people, like, I also now as an adult know, I need to feel safe in my body to share it. So I haven't shared everything that I've been working through. That's like adult me knowing that that's really smart for me to do because I have shared a lot in the past that I did feel like wasn't ready to be shared. And it felt like people were involved in my life in a way that wasn't actually fair. What do you mean? Just like personal things that I going through. Like, if I'm going through a dark time and I like share like, hey, I'm really struggling and like talk about it, the comments or the people saying like assuming what they

Starting point is 01:00:13 think it is, it wasn't actually a place for me to put that out there because it wasn't safe for me because I was consuming what everyone thought or was consuming a conflicting, a conflicting space that I, it wasn't smart for me to share. Lauren and I are obviously super passionate about talking about great vitamins, supplements, things that we can take to enhance our health on this show. We don't spend nearly enough time talking about what our children should be taking. This is why I'm so excited to talk about Haya Health always. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals, and other gummy additives growing kids should never eat. That's why Haya created a superpowered chewable vitamin that children

Starting point is 01:00:55 absolutely love. I know our kids do. They ask for them every single morning. They say we want yellow, we want pink, we want green. That means they want their Haya vitamin. Well, many children's vitamins, like I said, are filled with five grams of sugar, which is known to contribute to a variety of health issues, Haya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy additives, yet it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. Haya also fills the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment our kids need with a yummy taste they love. It's formulated with the help of pediatricians and nutritional experts, and Haya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and

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Starting point is 01:02:05 to h-I-Y-A-H-E-A-H-E-A-L-T-H-E-A-L-T-H-E-A-T-H-E-A-T-H-E-A-T-E-A-T-E-E-L-E-E-T-E-E-L-E-E-L-E-E-E-R-E-E-E-R-E-E-L-E-R-E-E-R-E-E-L-E-E-E-B-E-E-E-B-E. And if you've been struggling to get in the mood, you are not alone. But guess what, ladies, there's an option for you. It's a little pink pill called Addie. The first and only FDA-approved pill to treat frustrating low-lidot in certain pre-menopausal women. Addie is clinically proven to increase sexual desire, decrease stress from low libido, and help you actually enjoy sex more often. So, if you're ready to prioritize this part of your health this year and reconnect with your desire, talk to your doctor, head to addie.com. That's ADD-D-Y-I-com.

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Starting point is 01:03:51 Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep and dry mouth. See full P-I and medication guide, including boxed morning at adi.com. Addie. That's ADD-D-Y.com. quick break to talk about Square. We love Square. You should love Square. And that's because it makes checking out of stores and vendors so much easier. And it gives the power for anyone that wants to stand up a simple store or checkout process, the ability to do so. What's amazing is I don't have to travel with a bunch of cash to go and do the checkout process. What's amazing about it,

Starting point is 01:04:22 one of the first things I notice is how easy it is to use and how easy it is to check out. What I love about it is how flexible square is. I've seen it works seamlessly for all kinds of businesses and even small vendors. So if you've been building a business or thinking about building a side hustle and you've been doing that in person, you can now also take it online because with Square, you can expand online and Square makes it simple to set up a store in just a few minutes. It's perfect for those wanting to expand beyond brick and mortar. And like I said, it makes the user and the customer experience so seamless and easy. Square supports all major credit cards and payment methods, including your contactless options like Apple Pay and Google Pay. Checkout is fast and easy for your customers. So whether you're

Starting point is 01:04:58 just getting started or looking to grow, it gives you the tools to do both. Without making things more complicated than they need to be, which so many people and so many companies do. So check them out. Square keeps up so you don't have to slow down. Get everything you need to run and grow your business without any long-term commitments. And why wait, right now, you can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com slash go slash skinny. That's SQU-A-R-E.com slash go slash skinny. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. Do you know what I am wearing on my skin right now? I'm wearing the caffeinated sunscreen by the skinny confidential. I created the sunscreen so it tightens the face with the caffeine

Starting point is 01:05:39 and gives you a little tint, a natural tint. And I'm so excited because we are doing an anniversary sale. The sale is April 22nd to the 25th and the sunscreen is obviously on sale. So the discount that we're doing is 30% off, which we barely ever do. And what's exciting about this is not only can you grab the sunscreen that I'm wearing that is absolutely amazing. under makeup, it doesn't pile or anything. It just lays so nice and gives you like a tight glow. I apply mine with a beauty blender, but you can also get our tools. You can get the dry brush. You can get the body sculptor. That's my secret weapon for pregnancy cellulite. So here's the exciting thing. When you order a tool, you get a free. This is like we've never done this,

Starting point is 01:06:23 a free full-size depuffing oil. And this is the oil that I use for my fascia facial massage that you see me do on Instagram. So if I were to like tell you what to get, I would say definitely get the sunscreen because like I said, it's going to give you a really pretty glow under makeup. I wear it all the time though without makeup. And then if you're going to grab a tool, I would get the mint roller or the ice roller if you haven't tried it. And by far, the body tool to grab is the dry brush that I have been using my entire pregnancy. You will notice a difference right away. It's one of those tools that you use and you immediately feel refreshed. So how I use the dry brush, if you want to know for the anniversary sale, 30% off you got to grab it. Is what I do is I do the dry brush on my entire

Starting point is 01:07:09 body. I'll do it for three minutes and then I get in a freezing cold shower. And when I get out of the shower, I'll put body oil all over me, like a good Osea or a pellicure body oil, even Agent Nettor, and then I'll use the body sculptor to get in there to break up. cellulite and just get my lymphatic system really activated. This is like my ride or die way that I shower in the morning because I have kids and I got to be quick and I want to feel refreshed and rejuvenated. So go shop the anniversary sale, get everything you can get birthday presents. This is the time. 30% off automatic. You don't need a code. It's sitewide. And like I said, when you buy any tool, you get a free of full-sized depuffing oil. Go to shop skinny confidential.com.com. for 30% off April 22nd through the 25th. I feel like we all have to look at social media like the circus. Like, I agree. We're the circus clowns performing.

Starting point is 01:08:10 And then there's like people throwing popcorn. And there's people telling you to get the fuck off. Then there's people cheering. And then there's like the little girl who's really sweet. And it's just like an audience of the circus. And you just have to like understand that that's the audience that social media is. is. You're going to get all different kinds of personalities. It's important to step out of it. Like, you know, what we do and working with the people we work with and talking the people we talk to,

Starting point is 01:08:37 you cross a lot of paths with some people that start to think that, like, that's the reality. You see this all the time in the news. Like, people that watch the news all the time, they think, like, that's the normal world. I'm like, well, just go outside and I guarantee you someone's not going to scream in your face up. I mean, maybe once in a while. Yeah. But, but, you know, like, you start to believe that that's the reality and you lose context of like the actual real world. Yeah. And if you, if you, you know, like, Lauren and I put a lot out there, but we're actually like very private with the most important things, like our family life, our relationship, like personal things with our, I feel like you guys are like that too. You know what I mean? Like, sometimes

Starting point is 01:09:11 people think like, they need to share every single aspect. I don't think that's healthy. See, that's what I learned. I think in the beginning, I was sharing my bow hole. Like I was like, I was like, let's just share it all. Pull that up part, too. Not actually my bell. Where is your mouth? I love the clip. But meeting, I just was like, I would pull up that camera like it was FaceTime with my girlfriend, which I think is where I got this crazy community. And there was just a point where I was like there is time for privacy and time for me to actually separate that a little bit. And I think that got a little blurred. That's okay, though.

Starting point is 01:09:43 You can pivot your relationship. Yes. 10 years later. Yeah. It's a process. Can you imagine being like 13? I don't know how. If I, I mean, we were talking to somebody.

Starting point is 01:09:56 They literally would have seen my butthole. I mean, yeah. Actually. We were talking to somebody live all day long. The other day, it was like a prominent creator and personality. And they were explaining this thing to me about TikTok and like how TikTok matter. And listen, I'm sure it matters. And it's important.

Starting point is 01:10:14 It's a tool and all that. But at the same time, I was like looking at around. I'm like, I don't care at all about what anyone on TikTok saying or think. I don't ever go on there and read. And so what the point is is, it's not that one way is better than the other, but like her whole world is based on what is going on TikTok. And then I'm like,

Starting point is 01:10:29 well, there's this whole other world that's like not paying attention to anything that's going on there. And like you can be in both. Yeah. You know what I mean? But if you start to believe that that's the total reality that you live in, I think that could be very dangerous for people. I could not agree more.

Starting point is 01:10:42 I feel like in L.A., I feel this. I'm in a bubble. And then you go outside the bubble and you're like, oh, there's, there is a whole other planet. And it grounds me so much to be like, you need to step outside of that bubble. to come back to actually what really is in the social media reality. One of the most shocking things to me was, you know, we moved here during COVID.

Starting point is 01:11:04 Some people like that. Some people didn't. Half the company, as you know, is still in LA or in office, you know, a lot of people. And half is here. And I felt like I lived in two different worlds because I would go back and forth. And I'm not commenting on one or the other, but it was just so different. But you would have, it was like the people that were there. had a total blind spot to what was going on here and the people here had a total blind spot was going on there. It just gave me this context of like, oh, if you don't step outside of your bubbles, so true. You can be totally blind to huge parts of the world.

Starting point is 01:11:35 And I think that's like the danger with social media. A lot of people are like they get so focused on what's going on online that they forget, like, we live primarily offline. I'm going to play this clip when I send you my link to Budapest. I don't know what you're talking about. I want to go to Budapest. And you were like, I don't know if we're going to be going to be. Budapest anytime soon. That's what you said to me. I'm pretty sure we're not. So I need to step out of Austin. Right. We got to shift the perspective. And I need to go to Budapest. Where is Budapest?

Starting point is 01:12:03 No, no idea. I have no idea. I don't know. We will consider going. I feel like I don't know much about you know. You just said step out of your bubble. Let's go to Budapest. Well, I'm saying you can like step out of your bubble and like maybe take an hour flight instead of a, I want to go to Budapest. Can't wait. What do you guys think makes a high performer and how do you apply that to your own life? Mm. A high performer. I think, do you guys do any, like, personality test up, like, aneogram, Myers-Briggs? No, you got to tell us what to do. I feel like we need, like, a refresh. So my an aneagram is literally the achiever. Oh.

Starting point is 01:12:38 Type three. I would pick that for you, though. Yeah, like, I think a lot of this is just innate. And I think when you figure out who you are and then you set yourself up for success within how you were brought into this world instead of trying to play into a role, that's not fit for you. I think Sammy and I are experts at doing what we're good at. And that's where we are able to be high performers. That's a very, very, very good tip. Yeah. What you just said. We're different high performers. When you look at us, she is the achiever. And I would not get that at all. She's like so type A. Like when I think a performer, I think of someone that you think of like Sam. And when I think of myself, I'm a high performer. But I'm like, when I think of a high performer, I'm like creative and way different than a spreadsheet or like even as disciplined in areas that you are.

Starting point is 01:13:28 Like we're very different in how we're disciplined. But you're a high performer in the way that you're true to yourself. So as long as you're true to yourself, I think you're like the highest performer. Someone showed me a spreadsheet before this and I was like, ah! I was like, what? I'm like, no. See, I go and then I'm like fixing formulas. Show me like the girl.

Starting point is 01:13:47 I need to see it. It's so like not the way. You know what's interesting, though? I think I got so caught up in being the spreadsheet girl that I didn't actually allow my spirit to shine. Well, you need to get rid of those spreadsheets and let your spirit shine. I want my spirit to shine. Once in a while, you need a spreadsheet. I do agree.

Starting point is 01:14:07 Like, I think my comfort zone is spreadsheets because I'm good at them. But what challenges me is actually stepping into a lane where I can speak my truth and I can share my own story. That's not normal for me. Like I was raised to kind of just like, yeah, achieve, perform and do as I'm told. And now I'm finding a lot of joy and a lot of passion and purpose in speaking my truth and ways that haven't really been that role that I've just been playing this whole time. I think to your point, the advice I would give entrepreneurs is that use what you're good at and what you feel good at as a child to get you to get you to where you want to be,

Starting point is 01:14:51 but know when it's time to change. Yeah. Meaning like for me, it was saying yes to everything for like eight years. That was like my go-to. And then at eight years, it switched and I had to say no. And I don't, I don't, you know, yours it sounds like it's like you're, you're an achiever in the spreadsheets and this, but also know when it's time to change to up-level. Does that make sense?

Starting point is 01:15:13 Absolutely. You have to like almost have a pivot. I think that's actually some of the best advice because changing your mind can feel so wrong or feel like if you said, this is me, you put yourself in this identity and then through a business, let's say, you actually want to pivot and you want to change. It can feel so uncomfortable and it can feel so wrong, but really that is like where the true growth is. So I think if you can go in, if you want to be a high performer of like, I want to be wrong. I want to change my mind. I want to change my mind like four. times in a week. Like I also think this like chain too, it has to be, you know, the exact same or exactly what I said. Like, I feel like we live in a world where we should beautifully be changing our mind constantly. Like if I said something on this podcast today, I would love if tomorrow I actually had a different opinion on it. It's not that revolutionary, but for some reason, like people hold you to it. People will be like, well, you said in 2010 on your blog, I'm like, I have changed

Starting point is 01:16:12 and evolved and I've changed my mind. And that's okay. It's so, it's like, hold a stake to you. But you know, like I think sometimes too, I was talking to a very, what would be considered creative friend of mine. Like I'm talking like, this guy can get lost in design and art

Starting point is 01:16:29 and like a million things. Like he's like a little, like a modern day Picasso. But I was talking to him. He's like, yeah, just because I'm so creative doesn't mean I don't have a business mind. And he's been able to build fabulous business around.

Starting point is 01:16:39 He was saying like, what happens with a lot of quote unquote creatives is they tell themselves, oh, I'm a creative. Yeah. And so they negate, like, all of the other stuff around the business. And they end up not ever being able to build anything for themselves as a career. And then on the reverse of it is sometimes people that are more like, quote unquote, spreadsheet focus. This was me for a while.

Starting point is 01:16:54 You say, I'm not creative. And then you kind of like disable yourself from looking at creative. Like what I think now, it's not the same kind of creativity as Lauren, but the way you're either able to weave businesses together or organizations or structure things. Like, there's a creative art to that as well. But I think we do a good job of saying, like, I'm one of the other. And it creates situations where sometimes then people limit their potential. Yeah, we're not meant to live in a box. We're not meant to live in a box.

Starting point is 01:17:20 And I think anything that feels authentic to you, run with it and change when you need to. But at least give it a try. We're going to do rapid fire questions. What is your go-to coffee order? Oat Cappuccino. What kind of milk? Oat milk. Really?

Starting point is 01:17:38 I love whole milk, but only cold. Okay. It heated up, like, kind of taste weird to me. Yeah. So I know oat milk's getting a bad rep. I mean, if I could get homemade cash milk done, but when I go to a place, it's a cappuccino with oat milk. You're all, if I could have a cow, like, squirt it into my coffee from its nipple, that would be

Starting point is 01:17:54 That's literally my dream. I know. So I'm a raw milk is. You're a raw milk. Yeah. So I, but when I'm out, I'll do whole milk and I'll do match with a lot of cinnamon. No coffee. I'll do coffee when I, I prefer matcha when I'm out.

Starting point is 01:18:07 Okay, a lot of cinnamon and what? And then a little honey. It's like a treat. Okay? Yeah. What is some, sorry, Michael, go to sleep for a minute. What do you guys eat? I actually just went to sleep.

Starting point is 01:18:19 He's like, go to the bathroom. What if I just like laid down? I'm actually fine with that if you guys don't care. What are you guys both eating in a day? What's a day of eating? Walk us through that. If you go chicken girl. Yeah, if I were a food, I'd be a rotissory chicken.

Starting point is 01:18:37 I eat so much chicken. Like, so much chicken. A rotisserie. chicken. I love rotisserie. It's a great weight loss tip too. Oh, it's amazing. And I go to Whole Foods and I get the pulled rotissary chicken that just has salt and pepper, a little bit of salt, a little bit of pepper. It's already pulled off all the bones. It's already pulled off. I eat about five pounds a week because I make my order per week. I love it just in a bowl. Sometimes I'll throw on some veggies. Sometimes I don't. I love chicken. So you'll eat chicken all day, like even for breakfast? I'm talking like all day. Okay. Okay, let's start. Yeah. Typically, I'm intermittent fasting. If I'm in ludial or depending on my phase, I will have breakfast.

Starting point is 01:19:16 If I'm having breakfast, it's either a protein shake or eggs. I'm protein, protein, protein. Okay. Overall, I'm low carb, high protein. Okay. Lunch is a ton of chicken. Okay. I got to go try this chicken.

Starting point is 01:19:30 Just get the chicken. With really good olive oil, too. Okay. And then if I'm not going to add olive oil, add like a little raw cheese and some avocado. I want some healthy fats in there. I crave it. It's all I want. The skin, you can tell you eat healthy fat.

Starting point is 01:19:41 Thank you. It's the first thing I noticed. So dinner is where I get to have fun. And Andrew, if Andrew didn't run a business, he'd be a chef. So I lucked out. He makes me the most gourmet meals. Whatever I'm craving. Skip over this part.

Starting point is 01:19:53 Whatever I'm craving. Michael, listen up. Yeah, Michael, take a little nose. He will literally ask me, like, what flavors? I mean, Sam had dinner with us last night. He was like, what flavors do you want tonight? We're like, Mediterranean. Okay.

Starting point is 01:20:05 We come home to beautiful chicken, a full chop Greek salad. and like a protein pasta on the side. Oh my God. So dinner's where I become a queen and Andrew is the chef that I love. Can't have it all, Lauren. You guys can come over and you can experience. I don't think I will. Now it's going to make me look bad.

Starting point is 01:20:26 So now I'm not coming over. It's okay. J.T. doesn't try. What's your day in the life? Not my body. Okay. Breakfast is my favorite meal. I'm, I wake up starving.

Starting point is 01:20:35 So I'm like, I wake up. Do you really? Yeah. Yeah. I wake up so hungry. Bone broth first. If I could make my own, I would, but too much time, maybe one day. So I like, I think it's called Bear Method or Bear something, and it's a powder and you just put it with hot water.

Starting point is 01:20:48 It has the best flavor. I feel like Kettle Fire was a little too weak for me. So that's my favorite bone broth. I'll drink that first. And then I will have, if I'm going to go do a workout, then I will just have like a banana and a scoop of nut butter. That's like my pre-workout energy. But if I'm not working out first thing, then I will either have like eight eggs with some cheese. A little bit.

Starting point is 01:21:10 Eight? Yeah. That's a good, that's a good order. Yeah. It just said high cholesterol is actually going to be a good thing. Japanese study came out. Wow. I eat a lot of eggs too.

Starting point is 01:21:16 I love eggs. With what? I'll do it with cheese, like a little bit of cheese. I'm now back in dairy. I actually haven't had dairy in a long time, but this year we're bringing her back. And then a half of an avocado. And then sometimes I'll have bread if I'm going to do a really hard workout. So I'm trading for a marathon right now, the New York marathon.

Starting point is 01:21:32 So it's my first marathon. So I'm actually having to eat a lot more. So this is still like kind of my normal, but I feel like I'm getting more protein right now and more carbs because I'm so hungry. I thought I was pushing it with six eggs. Eight eggs is, it's impressive. Oh, yeah. I mean, JT's at like 10 to 13.

Starting point is 01:21:46 Wow. In one city? Yeah, we have just like a bowl of eggs and it's not cute. You're a chicken. Man, you guys are rich. Egg prices are up these days, you know? Actually, LA's having like an out of stock of, yeah. Oh, is it everywhere?

Starting point is 01:21:59 Yeah, it's a thing. Oh, I didn't know. Listen, you're searching for the eggs. People are going to come at you for how many eggs are. I mean, let them. Yeah, let them. And then let me. keep cooking them.

Starting point is 01:22:12 And then for a snack, I'll have like a chomp stick, a Greek yogurt with frozen blueberries, the almond butter from or peanut butter from, I think it's called cocoa. Gosh, it's blue. It's like cocoa butter. It is unbelievable. They put cinnamon, maple syrup in it. It is to die for. So I'll drizzle that.

Starting point is 01:22:30 And when your blueberries are frozen, it gets hard. So the nut butter gets like really hard on it. Now it's sexual. Sorry. But that is like so... Too bad you guys are married. I have a lot of guys to introduce you. Go ahead.

Starting point is 01:22:44 Yeah, so far I've said butthole. What guys are you going to choose that's cooking Mediterranean salads? I have a person to listen to Sam. Talk about Greek yogurt drizzled and hard nut butter. You don't have one guy that's doing what Danja is doing? I have a couple guys that make some pancakes. No, none of our dusty friends are doing that.

Starting point is 01:22:57 No, I can make pancakes. No. Okay. And then for lunch, I like so easy. So I'll meal prep on Sunday usually. I love an easy bowl. Sam actually told me the rotisserie chicken trick. So I'll literally just take that.

Starting point is 01:23:09 put cucumber tomato salad with avocado and a little bit of rice. Again, I love carbs. I'll just olive oil on it. I've always been a carbs girl, so that's something that I know about myself. It gives me so much energy and then lots of protein. And then another snack I'll have is usually apples and peanut butter, apples and almond butter. And then for dinner, I'll do either like a one pot. I'm like, I actually don't love cooking. So I'm not like, Andrew and JT doesn't really love it either. So I try to do like a one pot dish. So either like a chili, a stew, a soup, something like that. So my steak soup is my favorite. It's so easy or my chili.

Starting point is 01:23:43 And then for dessert, I'll have like a Hugh Kitchen Bar or these protein bowls that we make. I'm assuming a lot of these things are on you guys' app too, right? Yeah. So Form has all nutrition, too. Yeah. If our audience was to start with one form workout, leave us with that. And maybe, I didn't even ask you this, but maybe we can do a code. You're going to say you could show us.

Starting point is 01:24:02 Sure. No. You don't want me to. You don't want me to show you right now. We do have prenatal, postnatal, and a deep post. floor. Okay, I'll look at that. I'm kegling every second. Oh, go you. You got a keegle after three kids. Yeah. That's what Kaylin says to our trainer. Which workout would you start with? And maybe you can give a code to the audience. Definitely have a code. I feel like workout we can start with. We have strength

Starting point is 01:24:27 or Pilates. So I feel like we also have literally halfway through as strength or Pilates. But I would recommend a strength workout. Is there a specific one? We have a beginner section or like a start here section. But to be honest, something I pride myself in as a trainer is I want everyone to feel included. So my mom throughout COVID, she's 62 years old. She was doing the workouts right next to me. So I was modifying throughout the entire workout. Like I'm giving the advanced and I'm also giving the modifications. So I love for everyone to be able to join in. So I really think you can step into any workout unless it says like advanced on it. It really is for all levels. Okay. I would say my favorites are 28-minute upper-body super set. I'm an upper-body girl, which I think is not everyone's favorite. I love the way it feels to lift heavy on my upper body. That is my go-to. I probably do it once a week, even though we have hundreds, if not a thousand workouts at this point. You like that one. I keep going back to her. I really love her. And I mean, this one knows. But overall, I think like what we hear from the entire form community is that,

Starting point is 01:25:36 One, it feels amazing. Two, to be a part of the community is everything, to have that support. And then also, you can get a really effective workout in at home in 30 minutes or less. And before form, I was someone who was trying any and every workout and fell in love with Sammy and her method. And we now have multiple trainers, multiple types of programming. We do gym programming now. We have prenatal, postnatal. Like, we do the works.

Starting point is 01:26:02 But to actually crush a workout at home and feel even better than a workout you do. do in person. I feel like people don't come by that anymore. I think it's great. It's also like time, time, time, time. You don't have to go anywhere. It's 30 minutes or less. Code skinny. Yeah, code skinny joinform.com. Yes. They get 20 30. Right. So skinny is 20% off annual or skinny off annual. So you guys can use code skinny at joinform.com for 20% off an annual membership or code skinny 30 for a month free. That is so nice of a monthly membership. Where can everyone find you guys tell us about your podcast. Leave us with where to ask you DMs. This was so fun. You can find me at Sammy Spalter and then Form at Forum, our podcast with Dermina is at Transform. And then you can

Starting point is 01:26:49 find me across the board at Sammy Clark. And this was so awesome. Thank you guys for having us. Thank you guys. That was a whirlwind. We went everywhere.

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