The Bossticks - Shahs Of Sunset's Mercedes Javid AKA MJ On Shahs Secrets, Cheating, Sexting, & Heartbreak

Episode Date: November 11, 2021

#408: On today's episode we are joined by Merceds Javid aka MJ who is one of the stars of the hit show; Shas Of Sunset. Mercedes joins the show today to talk Shahs secrets, cheating, sexting, heartbreak and more.  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Check Out Lauryn's NEW BOOK, Get The Fuck Out Of The Sun HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential  The Hot Mess Ice Roller is here to help you contour, tighten, and de-puff your facial skin and It's paired alongside the Ice Queen Facial Oil which is packed with anti-oxidants that penetrates quickly to help hydrate, firm, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, leaving skin soft and supple. To check them out visit www.shopskinnyconfidential.com now.  This episode is brought to you by BEV Bev is a female-first canned wine brand that was founded to change not only the way a product is consumed, but the way an industry and culture have operated for generations. Their wines are dry, crisp, and a lil' fizzy, super refreshing and delicious. They have ZERO sugar and only 3 carbs and 100 calories per serving. We've worked out an exclusive deal. Receive 20% off your first purchase plush free shipping on all orders. Go to www.drinkbev.com/skinny or use code SKINNY at checkout to claim this deal.  This episode is brought to you by Pique Tea Daily immune the the best Vitamin C that's maximized for absorption. It's our daily go to for radiant glowy skin, healthy aging, and immune support. It tastes delicious, like candy for adults. Visit www.piquetea.com and use code SKINNY for 5% off + Free shipping on your first order.  This episode is brought to you by Oshēn Salmon Oshēn Salmon was created for those who longed for their perfect protein match. One that was easy to prepare, packed with protein, and made us glow from within. Hello omega-3s! Ocean raised salmon has more than 1,500 mg of Omega-3 content which is double the Omega-3 contentus versus most wild salmon. To get your box of Oshen visit www.oshensalmon.com and use code SKINNY for 15% off plus free shipping.  This episode is brought to you by Living Proof Their award-winning, patented formulas are proven to bring out your brilliant, healthy hair and are never filled with harmful chemicals-no silicones, sulfates, parabens or gluten. And never tested on animals. Put the science to work and unlock your hair's full potential with Living Proof and visit www.livingproof.com/skinny and use code SKINNY to get 10% off your first purchase.  Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a dear media production. Okay, the other day, Michael commented on my Instagram and was like, come upstairs. And I said, I can't, I'm drinking my ginger tea. And a bunch of you DM'd me and asked me what ginger tea? And that is peak tea. It's always peak tea because I no longer use tea bags. Tea bags contain tons of nasty ass, microplastics and toxins and all this stuff that you don't want to drink. So I switch to peak tea and I'm obsessed because it's this little skinny packet. You

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So, and it has your daily dose of vitamin C. If you're going to do pure, vitamin C, you want to do the one with cutting edge liposomal technology. I hope I'm pronouncing that right. But basically, I found out that it helps deliver the vitamin C to your cells so you get the maximum benefits. They're absolutely adorable and give you all the vitamin C that you need. You're going to go to peak t.com slash skinny and use code skinny at checkout to get 5% off plus free shipping on your first order. There's a reason peak has over 15,000 five-star reviews. Try it for yourself risk-free with their 30-day satisfaction guarantee. You either love it or you get your money back. That's piquetea.com spelled p-I-Q-U-E-T-A.com slash skinny and use code

skinny for 5% off plus free shipping on your first order. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. The whole situation was a disappointment emotionally. Like if you really get to the root of it, when people are hurt and angry, it's from a place of like, I wanted this out of you, like your mom, your dad, like the love that we seek from the people that we care about.

If you really get it down to what it is in the most vulnerable state, it's just hurt and disappointment. Everything is that. Welcome back to the skinny confidential him and her show. I had get the fuck out of the sun go up yesterday. day, Michael. You better be careful. I might be hop and bored and you might be sink and ship over here. Maybe I'll do another one

called something else. I don't know. You do that. You do that. Congrats are in order. Thanks, honey. Launched another product. Yes, I launched a product. I announced it on the other podcast, my limited series. And it is the hot shave

razor. The Skinny Confidential has launched a face razor. We are taking the taboo-ness out of women shaving their face. And you have zero excuses now when that little one like black hair that pops out on her face protrudes, right? You tell me about it all the time, Michael. I have no excuse. I try to be subtle now about it. I try to just look. But now you don't really have an excuse. You got to practice what you preach here. You got to get that little black hair right off the lip. I do. I have to shave that little black hair

about every three days. And then I'm a big fan of shaving peach fuzz off my face because as a woman, shaving your face is incredibly preventative when it comes to beauty. Fun fact, men, shave their face. I have found that they age slower than women. And that is because you fuckers have been shaving your face. We're exfoliating all the time. Yeah. And now we are going to make you guys look so old when we start shaving our face. Like look out. Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe all secretly shaved their face. I've been doing it since high school. The one that I launched has refillable blades. So you can pop them off so you can always use your razor and just put a new one on it, which is really nice. So you're not.

throwing away your whole razor. I think this is probably the first facial razor I have seen for women that you can pop the blade off. I'm very into this. I designed it. So we could keep using the same razor, having it on our vanity. It's cute. It's pretty. It's pink. It has a thumbprint. It's sturdy. It's everything you want. And we're giving you a code. Use code pink fuzz at shop, skinny confidential.com. You get 10% off. And I just really appreciate all you guys is messages. You've DMed me and I'm very grateful. Today, we have a major reality star. She is iconic in the Bravo world. I am so excited to have her on and she's so real and open. We have Mercedes, aka MJ, from Shaz of Sunset, and she is dropping some gems. She is a mother, an entrepreneur,

and a real estate agent. She's also a wife. She lives in the Hollywood Hills. and she came to play. She launched a podcast with her husband, Tommy, who is absolutely hysterical. Tommy open invite to come on with Mercedes next time.

They're amazing. I'm obsessed with them. I asked them all the questions. And we really went in on this one. Yeah, we did. We had some fun. You're going to love this. You're going to love this

even if you're not a reality television star fan. But I feel like after this episode, you will be. You got to watch Shaza Sunset on Bravo. With that, let's welcome Mercedes to the skinny confidential

him and her podcast. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. I really want to introduce Michael and Tommy because I feel like they would gel. They would. And both of you guys need friends. Are you making friends in Austin? I have one friend and it's my chihuahua named Boone. I have no friends. No, I'm just kidding. And we know you're a chihuahua lover. I have a few. No, we know. We know about the freezer situation. I have 100 questions about that. I mean, I actually was talking to the person that did my makeup today and I was

telling her we were interviewing you and I'm so excited. And she saw the show and she brought that up. And we both have chihuahuas. And we both were like, I can understand because a chihuahua is like different than a dog. It's so vulnerable. That was my baby. That was my first dog. And yeah, I mean, when I look back on that, I'm like, I'm so glad that I was so smart and so willing to just hold on for a couple more weeks. I mean, I get where you're coming from. Can you give the audience context if they don't know what you're talking about. So my dad, my dad's doctor told us that we needed to get him a dog because he needed to exercise regularly. So we ended up with a chihuahua that would not leave my lap. And if he did, he would get separation anxiety. His name is Pablo. And I even started a little side hustle

called Pablo's paws because of him. So he wouldn't leave my lap and he died in my arms 10 years in because he had epilepsy. It's really sad. Are we doing like this? Hopefully you can add this part of the show to like the cutting room floor like at the end. And on the show, you were shown putting him in the freezer because you wanted to preserve him. Yes. Which makes sense. Oh, yeah.

After he had passed. Yeah, you didn't see that part? I may have seen it. No, you would remember this part. Listen, I've seen a lot of things on that show and it's a lot. It's a lot. There's a lot of things. I have to get a note pad out when I watch the show and see.

I should do that. Yeah, this is the dynamic. This one's upset about this. This person did this. this app was that I have it's it's a lot to follow this show is so good because yes you guys are real friends but you also have so many different dynamics so a lot of these shows I'm noticing I'm not going to call out my name but there's shows where they're all friends behind the scenes and there's no fighting actual and they make up fights for the camera yeah I know who you're

talking about or the reverse where they're not they don't know each other at all and they try to pretend like they're all friends yes yes I know I mean listen you guys are going to have to let Bravo listen to this podcast before you can put it out because we are... How are you? We already do something. I'm already getting nervous. I'm like sweating right now. Don't worry. Don't get nervous. No, but like... This is not a gotcha show. 100% know that I'm in a safe place and I'm totally right here with you guys. Let's just get you pretty comfortable. Just share it all. Do you want a drink? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You know I would say yes. We have drinks if you want one. We have a beverage. So now we have to drive

all the way back to the suburbs. So, you know. So I want to get contact. of your life before the show. And then I'd love to find out how you even got on the show. Like, give it, tell us what, were you entrepreneurial before. I know you were in real estate. Tell us about that. I was a full-time, ambitious AF real estate agent. I always loved real estate. My dad would flip houses and condos. So I would hang out with him and kind of negotiate and jump in and start being like, I don't think you gave him a very good deal. Is that the best you can do? And so I naturally got into it. And when I like was asked to if I was interested in doing reality show, somebody said like my phone rang.

I was walking Pablo and Julio. And they said, would you be interested? And I was like, is this a crane collar? Like is Ashton hanging out in the bushes like hiding all I love your picture? And it actually came to fruition. But my life was really passionate realtor. would make like maybe five to 10% more every year. So I was like building my business.

And I worked on every single holiday, canceled like my friend's wedding destination trips and like would just do everything because the client needed something. So I would go like the extra mile. Like I wouldn't hire a messenger. If someone said like, oh, escrow isn't recording until 5 o'clock on a Friday afternoon,

I would personally deliver the keys to wherever in L.A. County so that I would make sure that the guy, felt safe and I was like really doing everything for those clients. How did you know to be like that? Did your parents instill that in you? Like how did you know to be such a hustler? The people that taught me what to do in real estate are the reasons why I know that because we, so shout out to Patricia Hudson and Alan Long. These are the OGs of boutique real estate firms here in West Hollywood. And they, along with other managers that just taught us how to be really polished and go the extra mile.

So what about the other cast before you guys started filming? What was your relationship? Because you guys have had an OG crew. Like they, I feel like they haven't replaced anyone. It's the OGs, right? Mm-hmm. Yes. What was your relationship with Gigi, Mike?

So there's, you forgot Sammy. So there was, Sammy's really important to the show. So he was my friend also since I was a teenager. And then he was friends with Mike and Layla. We were like, they went to high school together. and Golnessa and like the we were all around the way friends but when you started filming the show were you like what did I get myself into or were you like oh this is really good for my real estate career or what was your mindset around everything that was going on I thought it was just

a fun temporary like let's just go for it and see where it takes me I did think it was going to be more like million dollar listing. You know, I didn't think I was going to be more like lifestyle than career. So how has all this evolved over all these different seasons? Because you guys have been on air for how long? Oh, like decade. That is crazy. Yeah. What's day? 20, 21, maybe 11 years. So how have you evolved and how has the show evolved? Pretty easy because if you think about who I was the first day that you guys met me. It would have been, I don't want to get married. I never want to have kids. I just want to sell a house and go to Coachella. The end. That's like as deep as I wanted to go anywhere in life. And so now I'm in the suburbs. I'm married. I have a baby. And I

still want to go to Coachella though. But you know. Is Coachella happening this year? I don't think a lot's happening this year. No, Coachella. Not this year. Well, it would have been in April. I know nothing about Coachella I've never been besides for two minutes Really? Yeah, you probably went to Fochella Maybe I did It was Coachella, we went up there for a job But then we got in a car and left right away

I think I just did it wrong Did you go to the polo fields? Yeah Why'd you leave? I don't know Maybe I didn't do enough drugs Maybe you didn't It was hot, I needed to get the fuck out of the sun

Oh, you went too early Maybe I went too early, I don't know I should write a book on Coachella And how to do it properly That's actually not a bad idea. I feel like you do need to write a book. I'm doing it. You know what it is on Coachella?

Because I know like some people love fucking Coachella. It's like what do you talk about about Coachella? It's like what do you do? I think you're 100% right though. It's like if I go to something like that personally, if it's not 100% right and dialed in and streamlined, I'm like I'd rather stay home because you need to know what you're doing. You need to know where to go.

You need to have the right passes. And I've never put enough effort into figuring that out there. So I'm like, I'm just not going to go. Okay. I have a question for you. have you been to the bowl Hollywood Bowl? The Rose Bowl? No, the Hollywood Bowl.

Because you guys lived in West Hollywood for a long time. We went to the Hollywood Bowl for the St. Laurent show once. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we have. Yeah. Where do your seats have to be? Like, how boozy are you? Because what you're saying is that you need. He doesn't want a line.

Nothing that's going to inconvenience his. There's almost. Has to be VIP. You have to have ballet. I can't be. You need a handler, clearly. You probably someone, He needs a girl blowing him underneath the table and me holding his hand.

I partly want to say that I'm relatable and that I can tough it out with everybody. Relatable is not a word that I would use to describe you. Yeah. You were at hotel decap. Okay. Yeah. It's actually not about money with him. It's more about convenience and time and efficiency.

I can't stand in line. I can't do it. I start to audit my time, right? And I'm like, what am I doing here? And people are bumping around and sweating. And where could I be? Where could I be? What's my daughter doing?

I think about all that stuff. I'm like, I just like, it's too much. I know someone like that. My husband, he will not do it either. And so you're right. It's not about being bougie. It's like I'm at a point in my life where things just need to be smooth. Yes.

I don't need the fancy stuff. I don't need the glitzy stuff. I don't need to be comfortable. Right. And part of the comfort is, you know, it's like ballet and air conditioning and, you know, like cold water. I'm not going to go somewhere and then not be comfortable. You know what drives me nuts.

I have to talk about this. Why do they give you warm water on the plane? I don't know. I hate that warm water. Desanti, warm water and it's this big. It's one sip. Yeah, and it's, I need a lemon because we're also starting to swell.

So we need turmeric and lemon. And an ice roller on the side. Oh, yeah. One of those iced rollers. Yeah. And the towels shouldn't be hot. They should be behind our neck. Yeah.

And the warm cookie is not as warm lately. Don't you feel like you put in the time? You only get the warm cookie if you're in business class. Like you've, don't you feel like you've put in the time of like the hot, sweaty crowd thing? Yeah, it's called your teens and 20s, yes. I don't want to say I was always like this. I've been in the crowded, smashed venue line. I just, I'm too old now.

I can't. I'm like my grandpa over here. It's good to like, you accomplished it. You put in your time to have boots on the ground. Now you're kind of like, I think I'll put my feet elevated. Yeah. Okay. So I want to know.

Or how someone carry me in on like a thing. With grapes. Yeah. And a bailey for one. Yeah, he loves a bailey. I want to know how you met Tommy in context to how long you were on the show. So you've been on the show for like 11 years. You said, when did you meet Tommy?

Where did you meet Tommy? How did Tommy change your perception of marriage and children? Bev, you've seen it all over my Instagram stories. We had a Halloween party. I had it out. It is so cute, aesthetically pleasing. And it is the female first can wine brand that was founded to change not only the way a product is consumed, but the way in industry and culture have operated for generations.

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Cheers. Yes, God, I love him. Honestly, I love talking about him because I don't really meet anyone that I get to tell about this journey. You met us, tell us all, every detail. I met him on Tinder. I met him six years ago. He'll say seven. I say six.

Whatever. We met on Tinder. So I had downloaded the app, chickened out, finally downloaded it the second time. That's when I matched with him. And all he would do is text me and he would not ask to see me in person. So I got really like conspicuous and confused and I didn't understand it. So I had to make the next step and say, can we take this conversation off the chat of the app? Can you ask me for my phone number?

And then can we actually see each other face to face? then that turned into finally me coming home one day from Chiconi, speaking of which. And like, I was like, can I just stop by on my way home from dinner with my girlfriends? And he said yes. And then that was like our first night of two, I don't know, like two or three months into heavy texting. Did he, did he, like at the time was the show out and popular? Did he know it was you or have any context? Like did he, and if he did, did he believe it?

was you because those apps going to be weird. Oh, right. Yeah, there was no blue check mark back then. So he did not know. We were not filming at the moment. And I did not tell him that I was on TV. And he only watches sports. So he had no idea. That's convenient. It was. I actually, I actually talk about it until the dirt that I withheld strategically for four months, letting him know because I had my real estate career. So that's all I shared with him. So he had no idea you were on TV for four months. The first four months. And I chose to let him know because I felt like our relationship graduated to a level where I should

share it with him. He has a very unique, funny personality. He does. Is that why you fell in love with him? Yeah. I mean, we would talk like two, I was going to say, like, rabbit animals. It was really good chemistry. So we had good conversation and we kind of like what you say hold.

stay hold up in your apartment, just like talking and like being intimate and like drinking wine. And back then we would smoke cigarettes. And now we, of course, nobody, whatever, no judgment on anyone who smokes, but we don't. And that's all we needed. We didn't want for anything else. We didn't want to go anywhere. He's a huge baseball fan. So we would watch sports.

And then I would cook. And it was just like, the wine is flowing and the candles are lit. And you know that vibe when you're like hanging out in lingerie and all those things that you do when you're like brand new with somebody. Yeah. And then you got to keep that up because sometimes you get a little lazy. I needed to give Michael a little nudge nudge. Michael had to have a fish hook in his dick the other day and I had to drag it across the dirt. He needed a little reminder.

You want me to lounge around again in my underpants in the living room with some sports on? I don't get mad. That's what you should do actually. But when I do, look out. Yeah, don't let me get to that point where I'm already mad. No, when I start spinning, like the Tasmanian devil. The worst is when I'm hung over and I know she's at that point. I'm like, I'm going to have to deal with this today.

I'm like, I kind of just lay there with my eyes open, blinking for a while. And I just think to myself like, is this a day I even want to get out of bed? Oh, my God. So. The Lord take me now. You should specifically target him on his hangover days and just decide. I target him when he's at his weakest on his hangover days. 100% she does.

About 11 a.m. is great because the headache's starting to sit in. You should give him like. like to Advil and be like, here you go, honey, because it's about to come. I literally, when you realize that I was taking it all the way. She's like, we're going on a walk. We need to talk. What the fuck? I would never be able to talk, Tommy, into going on a walk. Oh, I say, let's go on a walk. Do you know what she does? If not, she traps me in the room with the, it's like, I'm just stuck in a room in the corner like a caged animal. And so I'm like, I kind of need to get out of there, right? And I was like, okay, we'll do the walk. And then the walk is just a constant, like I just get demolished for the whole walk. And then after it's a fine.

I have a question for you. Do you consider yourself the alpha in the relationship? I consider myself, so we talk about this a lot, because we're both like type A strong personalities. I consider myself an alpha, but I'm fine to like not, I don't need to do that to my wife all the time, right? Like there's a point. No, the other day we were with like a couple and she like spilled something everywhere.

And he was like, you're so stupid. What's wrong with you? Like, why don't you know how to, no, no, not Michael, not Michael. Yeah, clarify that, Jesus. The couple's going to be like, what the fuck's wrong with this guy? The couple we were with. Oh, God, here we go again. And I just can't, I could not imagine.

Like, I would never do that to her. No, I can't. No, my husband would grab a mop to help me clean up. Yes. Hold on a second. You're obviously not naming the couple's name. No. But aren't they going to listen to this?

Probably. Yeah, so are you willing for, like, no one should ever say, are you fucking stupid or are you stupid? Oh, I thought you said, are you willing to lose friends? No. She said, he said yes. A bad guy. He's rude.

So I think maybe like maybe that's not a good way to contextualize alpha because I think you can be an alpha in a relationship but not be demeaning or disrespectful. I get what you're saying. No, I totally know that that's a side story. You would never, you don't seem like the type of person who would call her. And plus you wouldn't be alive to tell the story. I can already tell that. No, we'd go in a walk with a shovel and she'd bury me in the ground.

No, I'm going to give Mercedes a tip because I feel like she'll appreciate this. the audience has already heard this, but Mercedes, okay, when I get real pissed, I take his phone at 3.30 in the morning. I go on it and I whisper, Chihuahua, Chihuahua, into the phone. So it's, so it starts serving him Chihuahua's. And then I go on his Instagram and I followed, I think I followed 120 Chihuahua accounts. Oh, that's all you have to do because of the algorithm. The algorithm. So now he only gets served Chihuahua everything. No, it's kind of phased out. Oh, good to know. I'll go back on tonight.

3 a.m. Yeah. So wait, Chihuahua, what other words are good? You could do something like creative, like you could say baseball. Shoes. Baseball. He would love that, though. That would not be a punishment.

Okay, they'd do something that's punishy. Shoes. Mike, women's shoes. Like, that's what I feel like Paulina should do with Mike. It's just go in his phone and whisper like, like, uh, desante warm water bottle, Desaunti warm water bottle, disante warm water. Room temperature. No lemon.

Dirty anything. You know, something PG. like something PG. The whisper in the phone is always nice to fuck with the guy. Rabbits. Kind of still makes it sexual though. Yeah.

Oh, no. Oh, like fuck like rabbits. Or bunnies. Playboy bunnies. Still sound sexual. Yeah, you can't do that. None of those things. Yeah, I think I'm going to do that to Taylor after this.

I have to get really creative with what I'll do. I don't want to know what the hell's on that guy's algorithm back there. I don't either. Wait, is Taylor here behind us right now? Yeah, who knows what he's doing. Where are you? Hi. So, okay.

I want to talk about two. your evolution throughout the last 10 years or 11 years. You have now become a mother. You shared your IVF journey. Is that how IVF? Yes. And I would love for you to talk a little bit about that because there's probably a lot of people that are listening that are struggling. We're actually having a fertility expert come on. Maybe you actually know him. He's Dr. Shaheen Gadir. Yes. He signed with you guys. I know everything. You don't think you know who you're sitting across from right now. He is my IVF doctor and we went to high school together. He's going to be here in like an hour or a What?

Everything. Yes. He inseminated me. He literally placed the embryo inside of my uterus. He and I went to high school together. This is going to be the third time Chaconis comes up in conversation today. How that, like, is that the max until they give us like a free meal there? They don't care.

They don't care. Wow, fuck you. They got a goddamn good chicken pie art over there. They do. I like everything. Okay. He tracks me down. I'm having dinner.

And he goes, you're the only friend I have. have left who hasn't frozen her eggs. What are you doing? And you know, Shaheen, Dr. Gadir, he will school you. Like, he's basically with two words, he can drag you across your life and show you the truth and make you face your truth. And I was like, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to hear about it. How old were you at this age? 30s. It was a while ago. I froze my eggs when I was 41 and I made that that baby. at that age. Hold on. To me, right now, you look early 30s. You're 41. And this is a bad hair and makeup day. Remember, no hair. I don't look at you as 41. I don't know. Okay, so you froze your eggs at

41. We could actually have a whole conversation about that as well. But anyway, yes. We will. We'll talk about that. I froze my eggs way later than he told me to because one thing I think women should remember is that we have a problem with having science determine what we think is biologically our right, the right to reproduce. So I didn't want to go in and do a procedure in order to provide insurance for my future, right? Because freezing your eggs is creating an insurance policy that is an emotional thing. So you don't want biology to tell you that you've got a biological clock. And so I don't like women to hear.

like that I could freeze my eggs at 40. I saw Salma Hayek on Oprah Winfrey have her daughter, Valentina at the age of 43, and therefore I decided I didn't have to do anything until I was 43. And that's not really reliable because everyone's AMH levels are different.

I probably sound like trying right now. So if you could go back and do your whole life over again, when would you have frozen your eggs? It worked out for me, but I don't want a woman who it may, may need to happen in her 20s or 30s for them to think that they can wait a long time because your egg quality doesn't improve with age. So you should do it early and then just don't wait because it could be too late for another 41 year old is all I'm saying. As you know, Michael and I

are on a major health kick. We have done 70 days. No alcohol, daily movement and daily meditation. We feel great. And one of those things that we've been doing is we've been eating at home. I have been doing no takeout at my house in Austin, which is a really, really big deal because before that, I feel like we were doing takeout like three nights a week. And one of the reasons that we're able to not do takeout is ocean salmon. We have talked about this before. You guys, ocean salmon delivers straight to your door. So you get this ocean raised, ocean loved salmon. And you can make it at home. How I like to prepare it is with lemon, a little pink Himalayan sea salt. Sometimes I throw a rosemary on top of it. And then lately after it's done, I'll put like a habanero hot sauce on top.

And it's absolutely delicious. I even give it to Zaza because ocean is free of microplastics, growth hormones, and heavy metals. So it's perfect to prepare guilt-free for anyone in your family. You've got to try it. You've got to try it with lemon. Okay. I'm telling you. You will not be sorry. So you get a box and every box comes with an inspired recipe book and it has all of these sustainability practices and the origins of the salmon. It's very important, in my opinion, when you're eating salmon, to know where it's coming from. Ocean Salmon also gets it when it comes to the branding. It's super chic. It looks good on your Instagram feed, so you could do like a reels with it. And I just feel like they're making salmon sexy, which is all about disrupting a category,

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Ocean-raised, Ocean-loved, salmon as it should be. Well, you know, another story I heard and I think these stories are important, is a girlfriend of mine, she did freeze her eggs and she got 11 beautiful eggs. She froze them.

I thought you were going to say 11 children. No, she got 11 eggs. And so when she was in her 40s, she went to the doctor to get her eggs because she met her husband and they were going to do in vitro. Her eggs, 10 of them did not work. And I think that that conversation isn't being had enough. We also need to know that just because you freeze your eggs, there's no. When they thaw out, they may not. Guarantee.

Yeah. And then even if they are okay, then they have to fertilize them. And those embryos don't grow. They don't all grow. Most of them won't grow. So you can't even create an embryo from eggs. So 10 eggs does not equal 10 kids or 10 embryos or it doesn't even necessarily guarantee you one baby.

So that's, yeah, 10 is not enough. I've told you that. What was the journey of actually having the baby with the embryo? Like tell me, like, once you had your egg, you're ready to have a baby. Did you and Tommy go in together? How does that look? So oddly enough, I started to freeze my eyes. eggs and Dr. Gadir was like, you're an idiot, you need to freeze embryos. Why are you wasting your time

with eggs? And I was an idiot because I was like, I don't know if I want to make embryos with him. I don't know if I trust him or know him well enough. I had a lot of trust issues that, you know, had nothing to do with him. It was just my own stuff. So hindsight 2020, yes, for anyone who is listening to this stuff, make embryos if you know your guy. But some women will say the bottom line is that you have to do both. Does it hurt to have the embryo implanted in you once you decide to have the baby? Or is it painless? It's painless. So after you have the baby inside of you, when do you know you're actually pregnant? Is it right away? About a week. Only a week. Yeah. I'm smiling right now because they want you to come in and do a blood test and I cheated and I did a pregnancy test in a bathroom at the

Laurel Canyon and Ventura Boulevard, CVS. So you went a week later to CVS did the test? Four days later. And right away, you were pregnant. It was positive. Wow. So it's just a quick like 20 minute surgery and then it's over. Yes.

It might take longer than that. You know how like... Just out of it. You just, yeah, like it's very quick. It's maybe five minutes. And are you in pain afterwards? No. Nothing hurts.

So it's not that bad. You know what hurts is going to. hotel decap with your toddler in your lab screaming. She's not a toddler yet. With no nanny. No. Yeah, Mercedes can't believe we did that. So, yeah, I walk in and you tell me that I thought that common sense would tell you you should

not try to go. Who the hell says we have common sense? That is, a lot of people are asking you that. Well, I think, um, Lauren and I, again, being type A personalities. Just say it how it is, Michael. are very hard-headed when it comes to the advice of outsiders, right? Like, it's like we are both like, we're going to do it and we're going to figure it out. And it's, listen.

And it's worked for us in a lot of circumstances. It's worked for us in some and it's really hurt in others. Like I've, it's really hurting others. It's really hurting others. It's really hurting others. I want to point out it doesn't work out a lot of the time. Context to the audience. Wait a minute.

Can we, I want a context too because, so I saw on you guys's social that you took a very beautiful trip to the south of France. and it looked like I saw really good pictures of you guys at lunch and you were specifically talking about how butter lettuce tastes really good and I DM'd you and I said their butter lettuce is going to taste better than ours. But anyway. Why? Because it's France that's like locally farmed. Everything tastes better.

Olive oil's better. You don't even get a really hangover there. No. Well, that's because that's the metabolism. I couldn't get intoxicated overseas. Yeah, you don't get like that drunk. Speak for yourself. Oh, you're lucky.

You got drunk there? A few times. A few times, okay. Maybe the wine. No, no, listen, it was a beautiful trip. We had a lot of memories. It was nice. It's just, I would say it was a trip.

It wasn't a vacation. When you bring your kid and, and. I tried to be transparent about that on Instagram. I was like, there's a lot of beautiful pictures and it's gorgeous here. But like, it is a lot of work with a baby. But not only that, she was jet lagged. Right. And if I were to go and do that trip again, I would bring a nanny.

So you had to have a, like, were you dragging around a car seat? Oh. No, no car seat. No, but we were dragging around a lot of stuff. Stroller, all that shit. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, we stayed a lot in the hotels, right?

We were just like, and also because like we got over there and everything seemed normal and then all of a sudden Delta spiked up and so a lot of stuff got closed. I don't want a nanny like all day long. I just would have liked a nanny for like a lunch here, a dinner here. I wanted to really spend time with my daughter. It was very important to me because I was kind of off work. But like I would have liked to go to the gym more. Like, I got to go to the gym a couple times, but I would have liked to go more.

would have liked to have gone out to a romantic dinner with you. What it was because we didn't bring help, it was us like constantly passing baby. And like if she wanted to go work out, like I stay with the baby, if I want to go. So like it wasn't like, we didn't get as much time for her and I together.

It was mostly like a shitload of time with the baby. Believe me. Which I'm sure the baby's happy about. I know this because our son is like six months older, right? So I'm going through this very thing where I don't get a date night. When we have help around the house, she's also helping us keep the home tidy. she's keeping us like we don't have a staff you know so it's like just being able to have like a healthy

body and a good relationship with your exercise routine or you know have your makeup done today anything that like we do because let's face it we're not just able to put our heads in a top knot but like your vacation like we're I don't I don't see how it could have been any different from how you guys had it unless there's you know someone else to help you I think the bigger thing, because we had a great time with the kid, but the bigger thing was, and I think one of the most important things is we didn't get the time to connect together with her and I was like, and it was funny, we went to Vegas right before that trip. We just flew like there one night and back.

We left the baby with the nanny just for the night. Went over there, had a bunch of wild sex, gambled, had a bunch of champagne, came back. And it was like, oh, I'm like, that was. That's what we thought. That's what we thought the trip to France is going to be. You did. And it was just, it was work. Yeah. You know, the funniest part is at the end of the trip, the baby shit in the in the bathtub.

And it was like, okay, you know, you're cleaning up. Like you're cleaning up. I was like, that's it. I'm done. Yeah. He texts me a picture of it. You raised your white flag. I wasn't there. And then I stood there and just waited and like went on social media. Why he cleaned it up instead of going. Yeah. I mean, what was it? What is it all? Like Lauren says there's a book or something. It's all joy, no fun. There's this book called all joy, no fun. That's what that trip was. It's the most, having a baby. is the most joyful experience of your life. There's when they kiss you or when they hug you or when they say mama, it's adorable. Yes. But there's parts that are not fun. No, I'm so glad you guys, as you're telling me this, I'm thinking, thank God you did Vegas. Even if it didn't happen in France, thank God you had Vegas because I would, Tommy and I still haven't reached that place where we

like had, and like the last two years have had like a wild, you know, debauchrous. And, you know, debauchrous night together just to know. It was good. You need a wine and lingerie and candle night. Yeah. You do. Full disclosure, I do need to figure that out. Yeah, you got to take time for yourself. Speaking of you, we got to get back to you because Lauren and I are boring. Nobody gives a shit about us anymore. So Tommy comes in her life. You're in love. Yes. Learns about the show. All of a sudden he's on the show. Is he like what the hell's going on? I think he was such a confident is such a self-confident guy that he was seamlessly on camera because you never know if someone's going to like freeze up but he was and yeah you asked me like

how did he change me to become a person that wanted to settle down I just saw this little guy in him that I wanted to like love on and make him feel like the king of the world and you know he's been through a lot himself so I felt like I was like oh like this. This guy deserves so much better than the deck he was dealt. Does he hate plants? He's completely indifferent, which I consider to be equal to hate. Plants? Plants, I'm kidding.

Oh, like, so can I say something? I don't get that. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, I didn't make the good. I was like, what? Oh, I didn't get that. But you know what? Good throw.

If I asked him to water my plants while I was out of town, he wouldn't do it. See? So maybe there's something there. There must be some trigger. Tommy, you got water plants. Maybe something happened to him when he was young with a plant. Plants, plants provide oxygen. They sure do.

Yeah. Maybe you should get him like a little basil leaf. How about a chia pet? Yes. Those are easy, right? You should get him that as like a little Valentine's Day gift. Can I do it today even though it's like midsummer? You should get him Rez's face with the chia plant coming on Rez's mustache and his head.

Ouch. He would throw that across the room for sure. What was that like when your best friend? And this is just so the audience can have context. This is like, to me, it was more than a best friend. You guys were like, unless I'm wrong from what the show shows, you guys were like family. Your best friend that's family and your husband who obviously you have to have. Priority number one.

You have to. It's your husband. What was that like for you? Because that's a horrible position to be in. Yeah. An out of body experience, like a surreal nightmare. Definitely nothing I would ever. you never want to see your family fall apart.

And that happened. So it's just a struggle. We still haven't seen our way back from it. So like it feels like yesterday, just talking about what happened a couple of years ago. You don't think there's a path to repair there? No, I do hope that there is. But I'm just saying that it's like,

it feels very fresh and wound. The wound feels very new because I have, known Reza all my life and he is like family and of course Tommy is my husband and he is like when you take vows you take vows to make that man your number one priority so I mean that's hard though too because I'm sort of in the middle and then there's a child and those guys are both very alpha do you think it'll ever be good I do thank you for saying that I do think it'll be good Thank you for saying, man. I think they'll cool down.

Recently, my mother-in-law came over, and she is very specific about her shampoos and conditioners, and I stocked her bathroom with Living Proof. And she was asking me so many questions about this product, especially the intense moisture mask. She could not get over it. Her hair is already really pretty, but this mask just brought out like the brilliance of her hair.

So this shouldn't surprise anyone because Living Proof's products are really tailored for unique concerns. So if you have frizz, curls, damage scalp care or thinning hair, it's really going to help because they're all about the science. So my mother-in-law kept telling me, Lauren, you have to tell your audience about this product. It's absolutely amazing. Obviously, I've tried it. I really like living proof because there's no harmful chemicals, no silicones, no sulfates, parabins, or gluten. So what I do when I do a hair mask is I get in the shower, I shampoo my hair, then I put the hair mask on, no conditioner.

So I put the intense moisture mask on, get out of the shower, and then put like a cheap, drugstore shower cap on top of my head. Then I'll lay like a little towel on my pillow and sleep with the mask. So the next morning, I'll wake up, I'll go in the shower, I'll rinse the mask off, and my hair is like va va va voam. My mother-in-law just did the mask and sat with it while she shaved her legs for 15 minutes. So you could do it either way. They obviously have other products like their restore shampoo, their advanced clean dry shampoo and their vanishing oil, which are all very popular. I personally, though, out of all of them, would recommend the intense moisture mass, especially if you have dry hair or you have blonde hair, because it's really going to give you

some brilliance. Put the science into work and unlock your hair's full potential with Livingproof like I did. Visit Livingproof.com slash skinny and use Code Skinny to get 10% off your first purchase. That is livingproof.com slash skinny code skinny for 10% off your first purchase. Livingproof.com slash skinny code skinny. Holding on to resentment isn't healthy, being angry isn't healthy. None of the feelings associated with not getting through it isn't healthy. So let's just be really optimistic. I think from what I got from watching the show with your husband, though, is his anger wasn't even about him. It was about you. He was upset for you. The whole situation was a disappointment emotionally. Like if you really get to the root of it, when people are hurt

and angry, it's from a place of like, I wanted this out of you, like your mom, your dad, like the love that we seek from the people that we care about. If you really get it down to what it is in the most vulnerable state, it's just hurt and disappointment. Everything is that. We had Caitlin Carter on yesterday from the Hills, and she was telling us that people don't understand what goes into filming a TV show. Like, they don't see 18-hour days and the trips that you guys go on in all the work. She said there's a lot that goes into it. Do you feel like that too? Is your day like crazy when you're doing filming? Yes. One of the funniest things about filming, which I'm sure you guys, I don't know if you get, well, here it is. One of the things about filming is that if you have

a jacket out on like a chair, it looks like clutter on camera. So you have to become, like you think this table is clean, but it actually has like, an extra thing out on the counter. So everything has to be so simplified. The preparation that goes into seeing your show, your room, sorry, seeing your bedroom or your bathroom on TV, you're going to have a total cringy moment and be like, wow, I never really saw it with like all of the stuff that was actually there. And so you will want to clean that up because people that watch the show will let you know that you are like, a pig, you know, because like Twitter and trolls and stuff will, will not, they will not be

accommodating or like, they won't be like, well, it's a reality show. Like, people like literally don't have someone like on a designer, like a set designer on a movie, has a job to make it look messy on purpose or like a sitcom. Like they clean everything. This is reality TV. And so this is how you live. And if your guard is down and you're just like, yeah, this is how I live, then it's going to be, it's going to look, you know, crazy. So that's one of the things that I think is big for me out of everything. Like, I don't have a problem being honest or ambushed by anything, but it's hard to keep your, like your roses looking fresh. That makes total sense. And even with Instagram story, I know, I know this sounds like a completely different example, but like I try to make, like,

I try to make sure it's not too cluttered. So I can only imagine how a television camera would be. It's, I knew that you knew exactly. I was talking about because you also put your life on public display. It does look more on, now that you say that, like, I'm like, you're right. Yeah. Like, if you look at influencers, their, their spaces where they shoot is always like a clean, high gloss white table. Always empty. Yeah. There's nothing there on the floor, nothing. And I mean, I would love for to, to say that I was that clean, but I'm not. And so you see why, you know, you can't sell clothes and be a fashion influencer if you've got the real framed picture. That's very, very, very true. I never thought

about it like that, but now every single time I watch the show, I'm going to think that. What about hair and makeup and everything for the show? Do you have like a full beauty routine that you do or is it just quick? See, I was raised by a man, so I turned out to be a tomboy. I wish I was more polished and prepared. But I always feel like it takes too much time to get glam. I'd never had a stylist. I never had a regularly scheduled glam squad to come. So that too can be cringy because then you can like look at something and say, wow, like,

why didn't have mascara on? Why am I so sweaty? Like why is there like back bulge, you know, from like my bra or like whatever? So those are like more cringy moments. honestly. But you are so comfortable in television. Like she, out of all the reality shows I watch, I'm a big reality show watcher, you are really comfortable. Because I think that one thing I am really, really proud of is that we started it before things. Like, I don't even, I don't like to acknowledge other shows. I don't care to get into like who's doing what. I can speculate because

I'm a professional. Like, I'm like a bravo-holic. as well. So I like watch a lot of reality TV. But like, I just like that I'm doing me and I'm okay with it. I'm okay with like the backlash that I'll get for having a cluttered kitchen or not having a gorgeous high gloss updated house, you know. You also, though, are very confident. And I can imagine when the show airs, all the trolls like you said, they come out. You don't seem like you get rocked by it to me. I don't get rocked by it. I'm so glad that that translates to you since we're first meeting for the first time and I can't believe it's been the first time finally. You should have come on like 500 years ago, but that's okay.

Yeah. You're going to come on more. Yes. Yeah, you seem like you don't let the trolls upset you. I think it's because I grew up in an awesome upbringing in a small town in a suburb of D.C. And I feel like we all focused on being educated and smart and well-rounded and play sports and, you know, talk about important things and take the metro and go to the art galleries and see stuff. and live music and that was like my whole entire childhood.

So we didn't really bash each other. And now like when people do, I mean, there are ways to hurt me for sure. But for the most part, I am not going to. You're able to like contextualize the type of person that's coming from and take it and kind of brush it off your shoulder. Right. Like a person who's got like an eagle or a butter, like some fake avatar as their profile picture. and then they just want to tell me something, that's rude.

I mean, you can't care. Why did you decide to open up about everything you went through after your birth? You were so transparent. Was that a decision or did it just happen on camera and you were like, fuck? Okay. The reason is very clear to me. I just want to articulate it to you guys right now. When something happens to you, it happens to you that sucks, right?

If something terrible happens, is there anything more important than the fact that it took place and that it's now of huge loss for you in your life, or conversely something amazing that happens. Why, what difference does it make if I keep that private? It doesn't make it go away. It doesn't, like, it doesn't help anyone. So the way that I see life is through the lens of, like, how can I turn this into something positive?

How can something, like, obviously if someone else out there can relate and get through their life because of a connection. that they had with me, then thank God, like because that's making a positive out of a horrible loss. And when you did share that, did you get just so many messages? I would think that so many people would be so supportive of you. Yeah, I think I probably didn't want to dive into a lot of things because I was really busy being a mom and being a mother is my number one priority since he was born. So I didn't indulge myself in a lot of emotional therapy, like going forward and talking more about things because you do need to get over things and you need to heal before you can

really get into it. So I might be just getting to that point as much as I ever can now because I'm sure some things are so difficult you might never really get over it. But like to get to a point where you can talk to other women and families and, you know, make it like a positive. I love that you are a mom now. You're also a podcaster and you, I think you are going to be able to talk about a lot of the things on the podcast. And I think that that's going to be such a cool spot for people to listen to. Thank you. Yes. So I'm super pumped about Till the Dirt. Yeah, tell us about it. Okay. Till the Dirt with Tommy and MJ is the name of our podcast. we are tracing back our steps talking about where we met, all the things that the show does not cover.

So it's really like a shit-talking sash between my husband and me. And you guys will laugh and you'll love it. And you'll be like, you know what? We'll extend our trip an extra few nights just so that we can hang out with you. Next time when we do this, we got all, I got to get Tommy in here. Yes, I know. Tell me, and this is out of balance, let me know. But I want to know more about the sex app thing.

I want to know about the sexting up. I want you to talk about it with me right now. Okay. So Mike was on Watch What Happens Live. Okay. And Andy Cohen has a new show on Netflix with a relationship expert and these all like 10 of your exes tell you what was wrong with you. And like, wait, wait, wait. So all, okay, so you go like, I would go on and any of my exes would come and just be like.

Yes. If you were single, because obviously you have no reason to go on it right now. I'm not to come back to put you on. So I can see. I might have to go on a long walk again. Am I got to be careful? Yeah. But that's the premise.

So you go on, your exes come on and they just tell you like why you suck. If you're a good kisser, bad kisser, why, how is your oral sex? How is your like manners, your everything that was. And Mike put himself through this? You kissed another girl besides me? One or two. Killer. Get him.

One or two. So then there's a relationship sex. and she said that there's an app where you can just sexed people instead of sliding into people's DMs. And these are real people. This isn't like somebody in a call center or somebody that like or a robot or like,

you know. Apparently, I mean, that would actually be better because if it were hypothetically, if it was like an auto algorithm sexting app, then it would be like down. It would be like porn at that case. right? But porn's real people.

Yeah, but you're not participating. You're viewing it. You're participating in... Hold on. You don't think texting a random person on the internet is cheating? No, no. Wait, hold on. No.

That's not what I'm asking. Explain the context. We're having a debate about porn. There's no way that any of this is going to be okay with Lauren at all. I actually love porn. Watch porn, beat your meat to porn. I don't care. Okay, so that's participating.

Yeah. And I'd like to watch porn with you. if you watch about yourself. Hold on. Isn't it all actively participating? Give me an example. If I turn on porn, I actively seek out

what I'm doing on the porn channel and then I'm actively seeking out to pleasure myself so I participate. Should a woman have a problem with a man watching porn? No. Because it's not realistic because they're going to do it anyway.

Do you have a problem with Tommy watching porn? No, I don't. If you walked in on Tommy... I used to. You did? I didn't understand it. I used to take it personally.

I used to think this was... Because, you know, you fucking live and learn, right? We can talk on this for a little bit. We can, we can dive deep on this. Keep going. I used to get jealous because I didn't realize that he just needs to rub one out. I used to think that I needed to be his porn.

Like I was like, well, why can't you watch, like, just tell me to make you a video. That's what I used to say. Because I think that, I mean, you could make a video and I'm sure he would watch it. But like, are we really going to make him a video? Because like, I'm going to need a director or a stylist. I'm going to need good light. Like, that's a whole thing. If he, it's also really particular.

I can look at the same video for probably like, six months before I would get tired of it or ever. But does the guy need some new material or can he just like go to the same thing? I know. Taylor, turn on your mic. Go ahead. I'm going to switch it up. But no, I think. Wait, no, hold on. What do you mean? You can't just say you got to switch it up and then move on. What does that mean? I'm not. I'm not going to, no, I'm saying you got to switch up sometimes. You got a little variation. But I think that porn can be healthy in the right context. But if like if your guy or girl, whatever, if you're the person in your relationship with is seeking out porn more than they're seeking out you.

and they are not giving you what you need, then it's a problem. Or if they're locking themselves in their room and their basement and that's all they're doing. What's a healthy amount? Like, who's the porn expert that's saying what the healthy amount is? I know the answer. I know the answer. What? The porn has to be like 5 to 10% of the overall sex.

So like you guys are supposed to have intercourse, then you guys can both masturbate. Like if one of you is tired, then let's say like, because hypothetically, which is literal, I don't know why I'm saying hypothetically. They were both parents with children. And now if you're in bed tonight and like you should spend, let's say, 20% on masturbating each other, it's kind of sounds weird. But anyway, and then porn can be like five or ten. So every morning I have a pretty specific supplement and vitamin routine.

It's not overwhelming at all. But one of the things that I have to have every single day is a probiotic. I think that the gut is absolutely amazing. when it comes to your best immune system, digestive health, and emotional health. I've learned too much on this podcast about the gut to not pay attention to it every single day. I don't know. There's something about a probiotic for me that I think it just, it's one of the most important supplements. One of the things, though, that I'm specific about with my probiotic is doing my research. There are so many probiotics on the market that don't survive the trip from your mouth to your gut. And I know this

because we had a microbiologist on the podcast, and he explained it. So the one that I take and the one that I'm obsessed with that I give to Michael, Zaza even tries it a little bit, like I'll sprinkle a little bit on her food, and I have my dog on it, is just Thrive a probiotic. This one has survivability. So it's going to actually survive the trip to the gut. That is very important. This one's also non-GMO. It's vegan, dairy-free, gluten-free, and free from anything artificial. So what I do with Zaza specifically, is all mix a little bit of the probiotic. Like I'll crack it open and put it in the smoothie. And then mine I take as a supplement.

It's no big deal. It goes down super easy and it's very, very small and tiny. I personally think that the gut is like everything when it comes to beautiful skin, better sleep and even easier weight control from what I have learned about it this year. I am very, very happy that I'm educated on the gut and that I can spread this information about probiotics. So if you want exceptional gut health and you want to feel your best, there is nothing like Just Thrive. They're giving you a 15% discount. So you're going to save 15%.

You're going to go to just thrivehealth.com slash skinny and use promo code skinny. Promocode skinny, I'm telling you, try the Just Thriverive probiotics. You're going to love it. Just Thrivehealth.com slash skinny. No, but I know exactly what you're saying. Because that's why I wanted to contextualize it. if I don't want to go out there and speak to a bunch of men or women and say, hey, everything about porn's fine.

And then like the guy or girl plays that tape with their significant other. Like, hey, see, it's fine. Even though like, why the fuck would I be the authority? But I think it's fine if it's if it's if you're still in a healthy relationship. What exact percentage is your percentage? If you're having normal sex and you're so avoiding the question. No, no, I'm going to tell you. What is it?

Let's go for a walk. Like if I, if I see porn, honestly, this is actually probably my habit and I don't think it's that big of a habit. Like I can, I can, fuck, I'm gonna, this is gonna be vulgar. I can rub one out without porn. Right. I can, I can take care of myself without having to get the whole thing. I feel like you do that a lot. And it probably takes like two minutes, right?

I would do that, yeah, I could do that more than like just turning on porn. Like, porn's a whole thing. Like, right? I got to like, that's a moment. Our house is not conducive for porn. Maybe porn for me honestly. It's no, it's just like the baby's rooms next to my husband's room. I can hear her walking from a mile away.

She slams these legs. I can hear. If he's beating his meat, I can hear it from upstairs. Really? So there's no insulation in the state of sex. I yell at myself while I'm doing it. I'm just kidding. But hold on, Lord, maybe once every two weeks.

That's about it. That's not that bad. But like the other thing, if you're like just need to take care of. That's not enough. No, he's not telling the truth. No, I'm porn. No, I'm porn. Rub one out?

That could be like maybe three times a week, right? Oh, you're rubbing one out in the shower. No, maybe. This is like when women say how many sex partners they've had and you have to multiply the number times three. I have my real number. Okay. I don't, I don't lie my number. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Please do not. I'm not going to share my number. Let me be on the podcast the day that you share your number. I never, ever want you to do that as a matter of fact, ever. I don't think I have to tell anyone my number. No. I tell my real number to everyone that asks. What are you talking about now?

Do not do that. Why? Because it's none of anyone's effing business. That's why. No one gets to know my number. The Persian mom just came all the way out. Does Tommy know your number? He thinks I had, no, this is the answer.

He thinks I've had sex with. A lot of people. Okay. But only like a fraction of who he's had sex with. So like he doesn't want to know, which is the whole answer. I know his is like countless. So like if I, if he's had sex with like 200 people, I've had sex with like less than 20. But then he doesn't want to hear that.

He'd be like, ew, ew, don't tell me. I don't care. I don't want to know. And it doesn't matter. I don't care. Yesterday has gone down the river. He doesn't care. But I want to get back to the.

I need to get back to this sex app thing because we got stuck on porn. We did. Sorry. Now I got to live with all those answers. You want to say that if it's automated, that it should be okay? No, no. I think maybe we actually might be saying, maybe we're saying the same thing. I'm saying it's both active participation. Like you're participating both, but I don't necessarily, I think maybe like the other one

when you're talking to somebody is more of an intimate, more like a cheaty scenario. Like the DM? Yeah, like Lauren would care more if I was sexting with someone than if I just threw on a video for three minutes, right? A video. Because that'd be weird, right? It's not a video. I don't think you get what the sexting app is. No, no, listen.

The porn is the video. The sexting app is the app. So what are you saying? I'm saying the app is worse to do than the porn because I'm actively like talking to somebody in an intimate way. Yeah, the app is probably not a good alternative because women, we perceive it as the same thing as DMing with a human. Yes. Yes. Okay.

So we're all saying the same thing. Yes. But okay, so tell me, that's what happened. So he went on the show. They bring up the app. And the sex experts arguing that it's okay or not okay. It didn't actually. So it, okay.

Let me just clarify. Yeah, let me just clarify that we were talking about Mike. And then he said that he likes to sex as because he doesn't like porn. Oh, he's trying to do the swap. He's trying to justify and do a swap. Well, first of all, that's a nice try, but I don't know if that's going to work. And yes, it didn't. And no, it didn't work.

So people gave him, they came, so I'm catching up here. People gave him all the flack because they're like, you can't swap. Like you can't say like, because you don't do this, it's okay to do this thing. That's also very much not okay to do. That's what's happening. Yeah. And the most important person that it's got to be not okay with is his partner. Sure.

And so it wasn't. And that's what happened. And the sex expert said what? The like the sex expert though? Or the panel. She suggested it. She suggested that as an alternative. And I don't think that's going to fly.

No, because I don't care what your credentials are. If someone told my wife like, hey, it's okay. Michael can go talk to these strangers or robots online about like intimate things. Exactly. Like what? Like chat rooms. Remember back in the day like when you could, or 976? What about those?

Yeah. Like those. The sex hotlines. Yeah. Are those cheating? Really, that's actually, like, to me, that's a good alternate example. If you are okay with porn, should you be okay with dialing for sex? Let me blow your fucking mind.

Okay. I'm so ready. Let me blow everyone's mind right now. Taylor, get your notepad out. I was reading this book that's all of these women who were high class escorts, and they all came together and wrote this book. It's called You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again. It's a vintage book.

It's so juicy. I haven't read it. Okay. So in the book, there is a situation in New York. There is a doctor building in New York where a bunch of doctors work. And this woman... A medical building. This woman goes and rents one of the offices in the medical building.

And in it... As if she's opening a medical practice. Yes. And she sets up a waiting room and she has a secretary who's just like, you know, looks like a secretary. she has magazines, she has the fish tank, she has the fucking clipboards with the pencil pad, she has it all. Okay.

And then she has doctor little rooms within this doctor's office. Right. And in the doctor rooms are set up like a doctor's office. Like an examination room. It's an examination room. Okay.

In it, she has high class escorts in each room that are making, you know, thousands of dollars an hour. And the reason she did this is because she wanted men to be able to come to this clinic without being spied on.

Because if you say, I feel like my husband's cheating on me. Can I'm going to have someone follow him? Right. He's just going to the doctor. And you see that him go up the elevator and go in the doctor's clinic and go in the waiting room and look at the fish tank

and sign the paperwork and go to the doctor's room. And in it is an escort waiting. Okay. So now Michael's not allowed to go to the doctor. Yeah, I was going to tell you, you know exactly what doctor your husband is going to. You can still catch him. No, I don't really know what doctor you go to. Well, don't you worry about it.

It's a New York office. I've been going to years. So my point of telling the story is that people don't realize how creative. Stealthy. Things are getting. And sly. Yeah, they're getting like very high level creativity. Unless you're married to a Persian woman, in which case, honey, I got this whole thing locked down.

What's your tips? My intuition is so high. Like, first of all, I know the address of everywhere. It's like having a lowjack on your husband without doing it. You know, those apps that actually locate your children and then people make the whole family do it. There was my ex-boyfriend tried to make me sign up for this so that he could track me. And I was like, no way. Like, I'll leave my phone at home and you'll think that I'm at home.

Like, I outsmart anything you can think of. Not to mention that as a wife, like, our. Our marriage dynamic is my husband needs a doctor appointment. I make it. He wouldn't even have a doctor. Like his dentist, all of those things. Like I heard that story. I could be dying.

She's never going to the doctor again. Yeah. No, my husband will be like my toothaches. I'm like, are you going to go to the dentist or what? Like you have to pull out the phone and force the appointment. So yeah, they would have to come up with something way more sly. We should come up with something super sly. What about just monogamy and not cheating?

That's what I was just going to say because, Guess what? Wait, so did we answer the question? No. We didn't. We didn't. Okay. What was the question?

Like, is there a way, are you okay with 976 or, or are you okay with phone sex? Am I okay with him having phone sex with another girl? No, no, no. Those phone sex lines, the professional ones. Am I okay with my husband calling them? No. You're going to call a phone sex operator when I'm butt naked in the bed? What if you went on a nine-month retreat to help cure, you know, some.

thing. He's coming with me. No, I'm gone. Hypothetically. Hypothetically, you're not, you can call me. I have needs. I can't wait nine months. Yeah. Like, what if she had, like, let's say you were a scientist and you had to go on a research experiment somewhere in Alaska and you just couldn't be here every night. I'd be like, time to change careers or else I'm gone. Gone with the win. No, I would make porn for him. You can sex, you can call. You can get creative. You can't call a phone sex operator. What if you were going with, um, Elyle's. Lon Musk to the moon and he couldn't reach you. What would you do?

Would you let him, would you make accommodations for each other? No, because I'm of the mindset. If you want to explore something sexually, like it needs to be together. So yeah. So bottom line, 976 numbers were for single people who needed to get off, not married people. Taylor, have you ever called a sex operator? They're very expensive and they get your credit card numbers and you can't really dispute them.

Have you? Yes. You have. When I was a kid back in the day. I mean, I even know they really still did that now. I mean, there's so many other better options.

Were you with a friend or were you by yourself? No, no, no. You just call. You'd be like little kid and you'd get these numbers. Remember back in the day and you find them? I mean, I honestly don't, can't imagine someone wants to do that now with all the access.

Hold on. Are you like in your bathroom hiding from your parents beating your meat to it? Probably on the landline in the house. God forbid mom picks up the phone to make a phone call. I'm sure they caught you. They saw the charge on the card. Yeah, they had to have seen it because those things, we don't know. They had to see.

You guys, when you were a little, used to have to watch video porn. You'd have to go to, like, the X-rated section of the video. Blockbuster. Yeah. I got a dark story. What's not dark? It's kind of dark. It's not that dark.

I know the story. So my best friend, Weson, is Lauren and I's best friend. He's been on the show. He might not like this story that being told publicly, but I just think it's so funny. I love it. So back in the day, you had to get these VHS tips. You know, that's pre-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-to-get. Yes.

To get one of these. This is like 56K. So watching a porn back then was kind of scary because you had to put that thing in the family VCR. You had to hope nobody was around. There's no pause and stop. It would like pause and then it would be like this. Remember the like little lines on the screen?

Right. Could full bush. This was a different time, right? This was these videos. Anyways, we said there's this older guy in the neighborhood and we tracked down these porn and give us these VHS. You'd probably have them. And you had to hide the VHS, right?

It's not like hiding on the phone. There's no like, you can't like, you can't put it like, summer project, you know, my book report on, you know, Christopher Colon, whatever the hell it was. You can't put in a file and then like have a pop up. So you had this VHS. Like, what do you do with this thing? So my, my friend Weston, he took this VHS that he had and he put it in the men and black video cassette. He relabeled it. Yeah, because at that time, men in black had been played out. Nobody wanted to watch anymore. She's like, this is the safest place to put it. Oh, no. Love was smoke. But the movie was done. Oh, no. Or so you thought.

So we thought. And his dad came home one day to go on a trip and wanted to take all these, all these tapes. So he ripped out like all the tapes. He took men in black. And he went off on his trip. And obviously went to put on men in black, even though it was past his prime. And I don't know why he was watching that.

And that's something new. Oh, no. And lo and behold, porn starts blasting. Oh, no. Luckily, it was his dad, but I'm just saying like, kids these days don't know the struggle. If it was his grandma or his mother, it would have been a lot worse.

That's true. But that's, that's. I just want people to know how difficult it used to be in high porn. It was hard. Hence, why you would call a 1-800 number because that was a quick... No, I get it back in the day way you would call it. Oh, dear. Hopefully that story wasn't pointless and redundant.

No, you're right. It was a lot harder. And nowadays, you could just like, probably that's why people used to just close their eyes and use their imagination. Has anyone ever heard of their imagination in 2021? I feel like that's a word that we're not using enough. I think our kids should do it. Be more analog.

Close your eyes and think about it. They won't. It's phone. It's computer. It's laptop, iPad. I like to talk to my son. Sometimes when I lay in bed and there's a little daybed in his nursery and he'll be in his crib, which he's about to outgrow.

And I like to tell stories without a book. That's nice. This morning we woke up and narrate the day. That's cute. I feel like that is how my parents helped me use my imagination at home with, you know, like, it's cute. I agree. The imagination thing, the other day I think.

said to Michael, I said, no more cartoons unless it's in another language. Because at least if we're going to be watching cartoons, it's got to be in another language, at least. Right. Because right now, I don't know if you know this cartoon called Bluey. Bluey, no, I don't. Don't start it. Don't start it. Okay. It's good, actually. It's good, but like, Bluey, Bluey, Bluey, Bluey, and Shark, do you, you know Baby Shark? Yes, we love that song. How many times a day does you have to listen to it? I have to listen to it. Not that many. Oh, you'd never had to listen to it about 70,000 times? No, he's like we have a Jeep and like those G-wagon cars that he's like still not tall enough to reach the gas pedal of it. But one of the songs is Baby Shark.

So it's not that much. You've got to give me some tips. Yeah. I wake up and she doesn't even open her eyes and she goes do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Aw, that's a, but music is so good for them. It is. I can only hear Shark. I would rather Michael go to the medical building in New York.

Mm-hmm. If I have to keep listening to that song. I do have to go to New York in two weeks. I'll be there, bitch. He actually is going to New York. We'll go for a walk. Mercedes, you can come back anytime. I think next time you come on,

you're going to come on with your husband Tommy. Where can everyone find you? Pimp yourself out, your Instagram, your new podcast, everything you're working on and where we can watch shots. And what's the app called? Oh, no. There is no app. It's only our podcast, which we're so incredibly proud of,

is Till the Dirt with Tommy and MJ. You can find it on all. all podcast networks and platforms, I mean, and Shaw's is on Bravo. And I don't think there's anything else, honestly. Your Insta handle. Okay. I'm at Mercedes Jovi on the gram. Amazing.

And tell your mom that I'm her biggest fan. I'm going to walk home to her house from here because that's how close we live. Tell her, I like, love her. She'll be like, everybody loves me. True. I mean, true. Thanks for coming on. Come back anytime.

Thanks for having me. Do you want to win a copy of Get the Fuck Out of the Sun? We talk about derma planning and shaving your face with women's razors in the book, which is so fitting. All you have to do is tell us your favorite part of this podcast with Mercedes on my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic. Thank you guys again for the support with the razor launch and for rating and reviewing the show. And we'll see you next time.