The Bossticks - Soap Opera Star, Model, & Entrepreneur - Denise Vasi On Switching Career Paths, Natural Birth, How To Become Multifaceted

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

#478: On today's episode we are joined by Denise Vasi. Denise is an entreprenuer, brand founder, American fashion model and actress. She is best known for her roles as Randi Hubbard on ABC's soap opera All My Children and Raquel on Single Ladies.  To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) Check Out Lauryn's NEW BOOK, Get The Fuck Out Of The Sun HERE This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential  The Hot Mess Ice Roller is here to help you contour, tighten, and de-puff your facial skin and It's paired alongside the Ice Queen Facial Oil which is packed with anti-oxidants that penetrates quickly to help hydrate, firm, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, leaving skin soft and supple. To check them out visit www.shopskinnyconfidential.com now.  Produced by Dear Media 

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Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the It was the beginning of like followers because when Twitter launched, I was the one in ABC going, guys, everybody got on Twitter. I didn't understand what social media was, but I was like, this is what's going to happen because soap opera fans are following me. Like as soon as you know it, this is going to be how they quantify how much they write for us. Every episode they write for you, the more you get paid.

Hello, Denise Bossie is on the skinny confidential him and her show. today. This episode, of course, goes all over the place. We talk about all different kinds of things. So get ready. Denise Fosse is a fashion model, an actress. She's known for some major roles on all my children and on single ladies, but she's also an influencer, a clean beauty influencer to be specific. She's an influencer, a mom, the founder of made, a beauty enthusiast, and a self-care prioritizer. She's also absolutely beautiful and has tons of amazing tips and tricks. Like I said, In this episode, we talk about natural birth, her upbringing, Ford models. She was a huge, huge model. She's absolutely stunning. We talk about skincare beauty tips, all the things.

I think you're really going to like this episode. It really is a bag of checks mix. On that note, let's welcome Denise to the skinny confidential, him and her show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. When did you know that you wanted to be a model? Did someone come up to you at a gas station, or was it something that you came to your parents? that I want to be a model. It was not me. It was constant, like, being approached on the street. And I didn't even understand it.

I was so young. This was even before I actually started. I was so little that I just didn't understand why. You know, I grew up in New York, Brooklyn, on the subway kind of thing. And people would come up to me and my mom and be like, is she wearing contacts? Yeah. And I didn't know what contacts were. I don't even think anybody that I knew could afford contacts.

but I would literally, people would be like, look up, look down to the left to the right. We had a family friend who was adamant and I had done everything. I, you know, did ballet for a week. I, you know, piano.

I just kept on and kept on and didn't find anything that I really, that really stuck. And my mom was like, do you want to try this? And I was like, well, what does that mean? And she's like,

oh, you know how you like read YM and 17 magazine. And you'd be one of those girls. And I was like, she's like, you might have to miss school. I was like, Cool, let's try it. And it just kind of took off from there.

I did a test shoot. I met with three agencies at the time. I don't remember the smaller one, but Willamina and Ford were the two big ones. Willamina was like, she's gorgeous. That's so kind of them to say. But we don't know what to do with her because they had at the time like an all-blonde, blue-eyed board. And maybe that one really dark-skinned black girl that they kind of had. you know, had to have. But they didn't really know how to manage people of color at the time. And

there wasn't that much diversity. It was just kind of starting to pop. Ford called, picked up the phone and actually called and said, we want to sign her. And my mom was like, do you know what Ford is? And, you know, it was Oprah days where it was Cindy and Claudia would go on Oprah and like tell their story. And my mom was, I think, in a little bit of disbelief. And I was like, I don't know what any of this means, but everyone seems pretty happy and excited. So we went in. We met with Ford. My mom set down like some really basic rules. My kid will do it when she wants to. If she doesn't want or she won't. How old will you get? 12. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. She can miss a certain amount of school. She falls off. If that won't, you know, we'll have to stop. She can eat whatever she wants,

no restrictions. So my mom was really on it. I think she really had an understanding from kind of watching those Oprah Winfrey filled, you know, Donnie shows. She knew how to protect you. She knew how to protect me. And I grew up on set. Did you meet Eileen Ford? I did. Eileen Vib several times.

She personally signed me. She, I have heard, is fabulous. Fabulous. And her daughter was fabulous. And I grew up eventually after, you know, she moved on working with Katie. And they were fantastic. And my booker, Andrea, is still a friend of mine to this day, even though she has nothing to do with the business.

They really protected me really well and protected the girls at the time well. And then we all kind of branched off and went other places. People ask you that she had context because your eyes are very unique. Are they blue or green? Or is it like a little, it's like a ball almost. They change according to my husband. When I'm angry, they get dark. I don't know.

I don't look at myself. He might be right. He better watch out. He better watch out. Let me ask you this. Would you put your kids in modeling after your, experience. Good question. So I love what we have today. Yeah. You know, I look at what we do and I can share my child and she's at seven years old now and she can choose when she wants to be a

part of something and she semi understands. So, hey, Lennox May, American Girl Doll wants to send over some stuff. But you know, it's kind of a job for mom. So I'll do all this stuff that you can't do, but do you want to be in the pictures playing with the dolls. And she'll say yes or no. She'll say yes. right away, of course. So she's a ham. So she's like, what? After they send me four boxes last him, of course. Now we have to think about, okay, what day do we kind of take the photos? What day feels good for her? What day isn't too much? You know, I know that Wednesdays are her packed days. So we won't do that. And she gets shoes. And then sometimes I have to call Klein and say, listen, I'm sorry, we're going to be late on this. My daughter's not ready. She doesn't want to do it right now.

And, you know, if you want to work with me, you understand that it's always family friends first. So you learned through your mom and your experience how to put print. and boundaries around your own kids. Absolutely. Now, would I send her out on a set? No, I don't think I'd send her out every single day on a set. I think because we have the opportunity to do what we do now, it's not that necessary. Yeah.

You know? So when you were young, it sounds like you had a pretty good experience, but there's obviously a dark side to modeling. I mean, first of all, whenever I have to take photos, and I am not a model, but whenever I have to take photos, I dread it. It's a lot of work. You can't even do it, by the way. Michael Bostick literally cannot do it for more than 30 minutes.

He's, in fact, if you go to my Instagram, there's like four photos of us in the entire feed. He can't do it. We've talked about it on this show that I have a ton of respect for models of people that do this for a living because it is not easy. And anyone thinks it's as simple as just standing in front of a camera that's light flashing on you. There's all the people telling you to, it's, oh my God.

You have to pose in different areas that aren't comfortable. You have to worry about the light, the makeup. Everyone's picking you apart. Everyone's touching you. Also, another thing no one talks about too, and we can get into this too because you did acting is like to have all the energy in your face. Like you sit down and it's the makeup and the hair and the eyebrows and the and the photographer. It's a lot of energy. It's a lot of energy.

And one of the hardest things for me was you have no opinion. Yes. You have no opinion. I don't like that. You feel like a prop. For me, I have naturally curly hair. You can see it wearing out today and they would burn it, straighten it to the point of like, this is damaging my hair. Please don't glue in extensions. I mean, you know, it's the 90s. They were gluing things into my hair and I was going home like didn't have the stuff to take it out and I'd start ripping my hair out. The hardest part for me was always that you just weren't allowed to have an opinion. And that's kind of when I started to look at acting more serious. and say, well, at least you can help craft who this character is and you can give this character quirks and you can bring parts of you and parts of, you know, some imaginary version of

you. And that was fun. And then when I transitioned out of that into the digital space was my best, this was my best, because I get to tell my narrative. I get to still have, you know, everything for me growing up when I learned that this was an opportunity to have a platform, which we didn't call a platform at the time, right? But like, to have a voice, to encourage people to do things and for people to pay attention to what you had to say. And you could use that in a positive way. And that for me has always kind of been my calling. And so I was like, okay, this is why, you know, these things have kind of fell in my lap because this is going to give me the opportunity to help change people or inspire people, whether it was what beauty product they were going to wear or whether it was, you know,

ask your doctors more questions. You actually can have a home birth or, you know, you can, You can do this without taking antibiotics. And when I got into the digital space, I was like, oh, wow, now I get to tell my story and influence in a way that feels very true to me. Because you were so young, you started at 12. Did you see the dark sides of eating disorders, drugs, all these things that we hear about all the time? Or was that not even in your ether?

I definitely saw it. But, you know, I always tell my mom. So I left, I think I was 25 when my mom, I was sitting on the, stoop waiting for a taxi to go back to the airport at my mom's house. And she goes, do you have any cash on you? I was like, uh, probably not. I have my ATM card. She's like, you always have to cash on you, D. D. D. No, my family calls me Dino because I'm Park Greek. Gives me $50 in cash. And she goes, I think you're going to be okay. And I was like, mom, I've been on my own for almost a decade. I'm definitely going to be okay. And she's like, just, I worry. And I go,

you know, the foundation you've given me is always there. So no matter what, I've come close to the fire. I did, you know, hung out in bad neighborhoods, maybe tried some stuff, maybe made bad decision. But I never, never, like, went all in anything. I always had my mom. My mom was a single mom. And she gave up her, I don't cry. She gave up her entire life for me. And I carry that with me, not in a way of guilt, but a way of pride.

And I carry with me and I pass it to my kids. And I make sure that that's part of our family today, to stay every day. So you're acknowledging the sacrifices. She made it making sure that they're worth. Yeah, absolutely. A single mom of how many? Just me. Thank God. I mean, I have two kids and I have my partner who's fantastic. I can't even imagine.

That's how I feel too. I can't imagine being with someone that's not 50-50. Like, I just don't, I don't understand it. And then, and I do have two brothers from my mom's second marriage, but where I don't even consider my stepdad, my stepdad. Like, that's my dad. My brothers are my brothers. So you left your home at 15? Yeah, right before 16, yeah. Did you move into your own apartment? I did. What was that like? And why did you decide to do that? So the flip side of that was that my mom was really protective. She wanted, my mom had me very young and she wanted to be sure that I didn't go out and make those mistakes or what could be seen as mistake. You know, there was a lot of rules.

And I'd been working at 15, three years and I've been making a lot of money. And I was, you know, in Soho, shooting in studios and going to fabulous dinners and being in, and I just thought I was grown. And I'd kill my daughter, killer, if she ever tried some shit like this. But I literally, after I had my daughter, two weeks later, called my mom, I'm bawling crying. I'm so sorry. Isn't it weird once you have a daughter and you're like, oh, you're like, oh my God. What did I put? What did I put my mom through?

And also, that's not fair. You jipped your mom because Michael and I talk about this all the time. We're like, we have this many years left. That's not fair. She got chipped. So you know what? You got it short. You know what?

I didn't understand that or have any perspective of that until I met my husband. I'm going to tell you about my protein pancakes. These pancakes are so good. You're going to be obsessed. So what I do is I take four egg whites. I do a tablespoon of coconut oil. And then I do a scoop and a half of protein. I use rituals protein. We'll get to that. Then I do cinnamon. I mix it all up. I do a little coconut oil on the pan. It's absolutely delicious. I do some syrup, some crushed berries, little lemon. Oh my God, you guys got to try it. This is my go-to after a workout, or I'll do Ariel Lour's protein oats. And I'm very specific about my protein. We've talked about this before, but I use ritual. It's the essential protein, and it's delicious because it has 20 grams of protein per serving, which we love. It's kind of like

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Visit ritual.com slash skinny today for 10% off your first three months. So my husband, unfortunately, sadly lost his mom. I never got to meet her when he was 32. And you can imagine that kind of life shift for him made the relationship of mother and son so much more important. He held on and still holds on to all those beautiful moments. And me and my mom had, you know, friction. many times. She's strong, I'm strong, and she raised me to be strong. And she always raised me,

don't depend on no man, go out there, work, work hard, build things, buy things, get your own things, invest, work. And so that's what I thought I was doing. And that kind of flipped on her, I guess. And flipped on her in what way meaning. Well, because I left, so I was like, cool, I'm working, I'm making money. Like, I can just go out and do this. You left the nest earlier. earlier. And we had moments of friction. And when I first met my husband, he turned around and he said, you took like a part of mothering away from her. And you have to realize that. I mean, I can see what he's saying. You're probably like, oh, come on, don't say that to me postpartum. Fuck. You're already your horrors are so fucked up. So effed up. But I just, I get what she, like, I get what he's saying. Like,

there's three more years that she could have had. But at least. But I think. it worked out for it. But we're super close now. I mean, we've always been super close no matter what I've always, you know, I always come home for the holidays, no matter where in the world. I've missed one, sorry, COVID, so two Christmases my entire life. I always come home and I've lived everywhere. I've traveled everywhere and I'm like, I got to go home for Christmas. I see my family, Christmas and almost every Easter. You mentioned tough neighborhoods. Yeah. And throughout the conversation, like, do you mean the neighborhood you grew up in or just exposed to tough? The neighborhood that I grew up in was pretty good. Neighboring neighborhoods, people that I went to school, there were definitely areas that my mom was

like, yeah, you're not allowed to go there. And I definitely still went. And, you know, that's where all the hot guys were. So why are all the hot guys in tough neighborhoods? I don't know. Gives them some kind of grit. All the other guys are too soft now. Too soft. You weren't in a tough neighborhood. And you were a hot guy, though. Where'd you grow up? No, we grew up in San Diego. It's different thing. I was going to tell you, like, growing up in New York is a whole different thing. I see, when we go there and I see these kids running around on the streets.

It's wild. It blows my mind because I start to think, I'm like, we just don't have that on the West Coast or even here. Like, people are just out and about. It was cush compared to growing up in New York. And everything I feel like in New York is like 10 times harder. Like, if you want to go to the grocery store, it's a whole mission. It's not, it's not like in the West Coast where we grew up. It was like very like easy and blazee.

See, it's interesting because I think there's definitely two sides of that. I was actually on the plane coming here talking to a mom who's going to, she's, her kids are grown. And there is an aspect in New York where you're outside and you play in the yard or your block. And that's how you grow up. And there's some of that is missing here. I do feel like that's a part of childhood that's missing here.

Here, my kid goes to school. And then afterwards, she's got like tennis and the things and the things or the playdates. You're not like just hanging on the block necessarily. However, there is a spontaneity that you're, I can't never pronounce that word, that you're missing in the West Coast or at least in L.A. that you have in New York. Because in New York, so at some point in my life, I live like up the block from Nobu on Greenwich. And whoever, twice, three times a week, someone would call and be like, you know, I'm at Nobu, come down. Let's have some sushi. And be like, oh, gosh, I just got upstairs from a job.

Come on. Come on. A couple rolls and like some socky. The next thing you know, I was like a coffee shop at 6 in the morning. That doesn't happen here because it's like, okay, I'm going to be in Silver Lake on June 3rd. I plan my dinner is like a month. My friend just texted me. She's like, want to go to dinner?

I'm like, I can do like. Because everything's so far away. And you have to like plan it. I'm like, okay, so I'm going to be on that side of town in four weeks. So let's get something in. And now I'm trying to see every single person who lives in silver. Here's how I think about it. So like we live out here in Texas now, which is a whole different thing. And I feel it's much

quiet or much more remote. But when we're in L.A., I always felt like, even though it is a big city, it never felt like a city to me. Like New York, you feel like a city. Yeah, totally. Get on, get on the subway, end up, who knows where. But L.A., it's like, oh, my God, we're in West Hollywood. You're in Manhattan Beach or you're in, you know, Silver Lake or you're like, you're like, I'm not making the trip. It's just not going to happen. And so it didn't feel as connected as a city. It just felt like a one big pain in the ass place. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard there too. I mean, they have their challenges each way. So we have a place in New York and we really care about our kids feeling mom's side and dad's side. So my husband grew up in L.A. and I grew up in New York. And they need to feel like both those places are their homes. But like when it comes to winter, I don't want anything to do in New York City. Like nothing. I want to go there. You've been there in the winter

No, I haven't. No, no, no, it's different. January, February, we stay away. No, no, it's different when you live there. So in 2017, I guess 2017, my husband was directing a film in New York. So it was like, perfect timing. We had just got the keys to our new apartment there in New York. My kid was two.

And he's like so stoked. And I'm like, dude, you have no idea what a winter's like. He's like, I've been going there for 25 years before I know. He's like, I took the sleigh in Central Park. Yeah, I'm like, dude. I went to the Rockefeller lighting her. Christmas Street. Dude, when you have to walk the dog at 4 in the morning and the, I mean, the wind and the snow

and the, it's just, it's bananas. It's not sitting on Santa's lap at Bergdorf. And I remember, and I remember like a little girl like walking in my book. And then, you know, I didn't want to go to California when I did. I was an actress. I got moved for a TV show. I was like, I'm going to do this show and come back. And then I was like, why would I ever have a full winter ever again?

not necessary. Mental note, don't go live there in January and February. It's hard. Listen, if you love the cold, there's some people

who love, like we have friends. They vacation, they go all the time like to ski and snowboard and all that stuff. Not us.

We, we're like want to be lizards on a beach. I feel like people that grow up in the cold, my dad grew up

in Illinois and he's like, he's done. He's done it. Just used my ice roller. Oh my God. Just use the ice roller is the best.

The best. So you mentioned that when you started modeling and you said this off air too, it's blonde hair, blue eyes. Yeah. Basically. What is that like? Were you just like, I'm going to break barriers? I don't give a fuck. Or were you like, oh, this is, this is really hard to be surrounded by all these people that look nothing like me?

So I think at first I didn't, I didn't even really notice. I knew that I knew that I wasn't accepted certain places. Like, okay, Willamina said, like they don't understand what to do with you. while they think they're beautiful, but like they don't know how to market you, right? It was the first time I understood that like things and people were marketable, but I didn't know. I was 12, right?

Then Ford introduced this term to me and my mom called Ambiguous. And I didn't, you know, at 12 didn't understand that. I was like, well, she can be anything depending on how you style her, depending on what you do with her hair, depending on what she's wearing. And that was the idea of like, okay, you can basically code switch, right? What happened was I would go into jobs and they'd ask, you know, well, first of all, I wasn't ever super tall. So first thing I had to figure out, which took me probably a decade, was that it was going to be beauty. I had to really, that's the niche.

Before we knew the, you know, use the word niche in our everyday lives, right? That was it. I needed to niche down because the truth of the matter is it was never going to do a Gucci campaign because I was never going to walk the runway. That's the way it used to be. You'd have to walk the runway. You'd walk the runway to be potentially like, consider. considered for a fashion campaign, a major, like, designer house. Like it was a disqualifier if you weren't a certain height right off the bat.

Right off the bat. And I was like in New York City with the heels changing them, walking in my sneakers to a casting, then get in the corner of the street, changing my shoes, putting on like seven inch heels and walking in and being like, I'm seven, five and a half. And I'm like, I'm five, seven and a half. And I'm like five, six. So, you know, trying to sound like every man on the universe lying about that, that inch and a half. Oh, of course. Absolutely. Both ways. Just give us an inch and a half, Lord. If it's a six incher, they'll say it's a seven incher.

Are you saying women don't lie about anything, Lord? We're going to open this can of worms here? No, I'm just saying men do tend to lie about their dick size and their height. All the time. It's a lie. When is the last time you have heard of guys say you have got a little dick? I did measure your penis once. So I can, I can vouch for you.

We went all the way down from the asshole up there. We did not go. We've got to get the whole. That's the dark side. That's what called the dark side. Start the knee and go, yeah. Go ahead. Where was I?

And then I started to see that, oh, people wanted to like box you and put you in a place. And that really kind of irritated me because I knew, I started to understand that like, oh, well, when I wore my hair curly, I looked more one way and where I wore my hair straight, I looked more like a different way. There were times when I had brown contacts or they'd shoot me and they would digitally like retouch my eyes to make them brown. Oh, that's insane. Insane, right?

And I was a little girl. Because you have such unique eyes. Thank you. But who knows what the rhyme or reason was then. And then I think as a woman, as I've gotten older, we were talking about this before. Like I just feel like women are constantly like people are constantly trying to put women in these boxes.

Like, oh, she does that, that one thing. And I'm like, well, actually, that's something that I did. and maybe I still do it, but also do like five, six other things. You want to talk about that? No, no, no. We just want to talk about like this one. Okay, cool. But like you're trying to put me in a box.

Or when they're like, oh, we really want you to come on and talk about like age. And I'm like, why? Why is it? Why is age so important? I don't want to talk about age. Why? Because so then you can tell me I'm too young for something or I'm too old for something. Because I always looked really young.

And it was always like, okay, go out there and like, they think you're this, no. Like, just tell me what the character is. Tell me. And I've got it. But I don't want to talk about, like, how old a woman is and why she's too young or too old to do something because it's about experience. It's about what you've been through. You can be 22 and have had a crazy life and have some real experience. You're not going to know everything, of course. But they're still experience to pull from. And so I think now, especially in, you know, it's gotten better, but in beauty, I'm starting to see it again. They're like, well, how does she feel about talking about like, and I'm like, yeah, no, I don't, I don't want to be put in a box. It's so weird that you're talking about this because I was telling you off there, I'm launching a merch collection called obnoxious. And I called it obnoxious because I think that people, like, they think that you can't simultaneously love pink and have implants and have blonde hair and love self-care, but also be a fucking boss in the boardroom and be well read and be driven and ambitious and be an incredible. incredible wife and partner. Like we have to like have these conversations because it's okay to be multifaceted. And I actually think it's way more interesting to not fit in the box. Absolutely. Absolutely. They do it more to women. I see it with my wife. Like, you know,

if I say I have a nanny, nobody says anything to me. Right. It's not even a thing. They don't even ask him. If she says it, it's a whole. And we work the same. No, I know. I know. I know. Absolutely. It's only us. And by the way, this is this is exactly why I, launched made because I was going in and I was talking to these, you know, the first people who kind of approached me in the digital space were like kind of YouTube execs sort of, right? And I was like, well, yeah, I make my kids baby food and yeah, I'm really into wellness and, you know, gut health and clean beauty and sustainability. But like I still wear red lipstick, YSL, like, you know, jeans.

and black leather outfit. Like, I can beat your hot chicken still make almond milk fresh. I don't need to be, like, in a flowy dress on the top of Topanga, like, chanting all the time. And also, like, you can want to know what's in your kids' toothpaste and be holistic about it in granola. Yeah. And I'm like, crunchy is no longer, like, looks like what you expect. Like, let's, and this was, gosh, this was 2017, 2018 when I launched the platform. And I was like, let's like change this conversation.

And that's really what it was. I became a mom. I started to look into things in a different way for my kid. And it's like, no, I don't see anybody like me. I don't identify with any of the visuals or the people or the influencers that I see on social media or websites or blogs. I was like, I do those things, but I'm not like in a floral. dress, barefoot, just only meditating all day. That's not, that's just one version of it. It's very parallel though to your modeling days. Yes. It's, it's makes sense to me that you would have

this epiphany later on in life about something else because it sounds like you had the epiphany when you were 12, but you didn't know how to articulate it or communicate it. And now you're older and you can look back and you have the foresight and you can see, oh, this is what they're trying to do to me. Yeah. So first before you get in to your kids and your home birth and your career, I want to just know before then. When you decided to go act in L.A., what were you working on? And then I would love to know why you decided to move on from acting. So initially, I moved from New York to L.A. with a soap opera called All My Children. What's that? That's only like the biggest soap opera there is, right?

Wait, hold on. 42 years on air, 41 of them were, of those years were in New York. So when they left New York was a huge deal. And also just if you're unfamiliar with soap operas, I know you know that one. But people, like, I have a friend that has watched every single episode of all my children for the last, like, whatever it is. It's interesting because for me, I always look at it like the first version of social media because you know how those stories. work, stories. So, okay, so I got my role. I played a prostitute who with a heart of gold. Multifaceted, bitches. There we go. Right? On all my children. And everything's about

fan letters. So the more fan letters you get, the more they, the writers write for you. So it's kind of like, oh, they count them. The networks count them. Oh, because they come into the studio or they're going to be. Uh-huh. Yeah. And you have fan events. And it's kind of like you're, it was the beginning of like for me followers. Because when Twitter launched, I was the one in ABC going, guys, everybody get on Twitter. Because this is going to, this is what I didn't understand what social media was. But I was like, this is what's going to happen. Because people are start, I was with the first one. Soap opera fans are following me. Like as soon as you know it, this is going to be how they quantify how much they write for us. How much that every episode they write for you, the. more you get paid. The other day we had someone working on our house and they walked in and they said, what does Los Angeles smell like? And I said, well, take a whiff because it smells like delicious bouginess because I have my homesick candles going in the house. These candles are all over Instagram. Homestick is a home fragrance and lifestyle brand with one simple goal. To bring joy to your home with scents that bring you closer to the people, places and moments that matter most. So we have the

Los Angeles candle in our house burning right now. These candles are absolutely amazing because they're not overpowering. And they're also made from natural soy wax. I really like a soy wax candle. That's always important to me when I'm buying my candles. They also have premium cotton wicks and custom fragrance oils. So a lot of these wicks are actually like giving off a bunch of chemicals, which is super nasty. And I'm very much about a candle company that has premium cotton wicks. They have one called Beach Cottage. It smells delicious. I have to tell you though, my personal favorite is Los Angeles. It smells delicious and it kind of reminds me of when we lived in Los Angeles. It brings a little Los Angelesness to Austin, which I love. Each of their candles

on their site really capture the scent of the place and the memory it represents. They even have a New York one. That's one of their bestsellers. Like it has notes of Central Park and department stores. Absolutely amazing. Makes an incredible gift and you can even add personalization. You should also know that there's a 60 to 80 hour burn time, which we love. You can use Code Skinny for 20% off all. orders of $75 or more at homesick.com slash skinny that's homesick.com slash skinny use code skinny for 20% off. I have to ask this is the prostitute with the heart of gold getting letters from jail with like guys semen in it. No, no there was no cement thank God. Well that's no the guys from jail get excited. I have to say I I there are we're guys from jail but because they're watching the

soap problem. But there was no there was no semen thankfully so get creative. And actually you have a And actually, actually, I'm really surprised there were no dickpicks at all. And I honestly keep a pretty clean DM track now. I don't get those anymore. You know what I say, right? So when I was on TV, everyone, you know, my community was like 50-50, right? So 50% men, 50% women. And they're like, they hung around for like the boyfriends.

They hung around when I got engaged. They hung around when I got married. They even hung around when I got pregnant. But as soon as I started talking about like how to heal crack nipples, they were out. And then all of a sudden my audience went from like no men to all women. I keep a clean, pretty clean DM track as well. Like there's no, there's no slip ups there either. Yeah.

So I came with all my children. I was kicking and screaming. I was like, I can't go live in L.A. Like I'm so New York. And my manager at the time said all my children's going to pay. ABC is going to pay for you to move. And soap operas pay well, right? Yeah.

Yeah. But they're going to move you. They're going to pay for your move. They're going to pay for your first three rents. They're going to give you a, like a chunk of money in the beginning to move your life there. And not everybody received that offer from, you know, this show. Are you, and he knew, like, he knew my heart so well because he'd been with me forever. He goes, you know, there's like some girl in Middle America who's like, if I wait enough tables and I save $1,000, I can go to L.A.

and go to Hollywood and be an actress. And he totally, I was like, damn, I can't do that. There's some, I can't blow this opportunity. So, lo and behold, moved myself to L.A. And then every time I had like a Thursday, Friday, attached to a weekend, I was out.

I was back in New York. I was in the clubs. I was like partying with my friends. I was back, flying back and forth. And then after about a year, I started to find my place, my people where I got, you know, where I did yoga,

where I got my juices, I started to find my little vibe in community there and it started to settle down a little bit and then that was supposed to be my Samantha summer where you fucked whoever you want yes because I didn't have a real Samantha I didn't get it I met my husband he totally screwed it up

you screwed mine up too Samantha from sex in the city fucks whoever she wants and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks I didn't get a I didn't get it I had a Samantha summer summer but like I'm sure you had like six you guys were living Samantha Summers your whole life. That was the whole thing. And I'd been like relationship after relationship. And I'm going to start calling it now. Or I'd have a break, but I, I was never,

I was never just frivolous with sex, like just enjoying sex for what it was. And I was like, fuck this. I just got out of this crazy relationship. And I was like, this is going to be my Samantha Summer. We're just, I'm just going to go out. Like I was telling my girlfriends, we're just going to go out and party hard and like travel. And when we're not working, be weekends places and just like, fuck it's, fuck safely, but have fun. And then literally like three weeks later I met my husband. How'd you mean him? Casting. He's a director. He's a director. Oh, scandalous. Scandalous. I asked him out though. Oh. Yes. Wait. So is he a director for all my children? No. Oh, no. No. No. No. No. My husband is actually pretty good at what he does.

He directs commercials and film. And he's done a lot of. lot of, you'd know a lot of videos that he did because he came up from the music video era. Give us one that we're like that, oh my God. I don't know. 17 Rihanna videos, killers, Lana Del Rey. He's done everybody. Beyonce, J.Z, run this town, Kanye, Eminem, you name it. He's done it.

Who? Or, let's see. Do you ever see the Apple commercial word, Taylor Swift falls on the treadmill? Yes. Okay. He wrote and produced and did that? very talented. So he's, yeah. So, and he's hot. So I was, he, for that job, I was actually stripper. Prostitute stripper Samantha Summer

Samantha Summer I did pole dancing for like two years Best workout ever by the way You ever do it? Do you want to try it on the diva late right now? No I don't think I'm That can't hold me

I can't hold me in What am I gonna pull? Did you ever try it? No, do I need to try it? After the baby I mean I can get down on a strip pole I think I need to take class of

I'm talking about like flips and twirls And like rubbing my vagina Up and down the thing Like I mean I feel like I could fuck with the pole. Like I'm, I, I, I'm like like like spins at the top and like yeah. You can it's like, by the way, it's the most incredible workout.

I did it for two years and I had abs of steel. Okay. Well, why don't you teach me how to do that next time I'm visiting. Visiting your area. Yeah. Will you come? Okay. Come to my house.

We've got, I've got a, well, it's been in, it's been in hiding. But now we're moving to a new house where I'm like, okay, so the poles coming back. Because we got more space. Do I need a strip pool in the bedroom? Did they make it in wood with like a light, white tone. Listen, you don't want splinters.

No. And you don't want it in the bedroom. It's not for him. It's for you. Oh, what's not for him? So sorry. Aw.

Wow. You can come in like on your birthday or, you know. You know what? But it's for you. I'd like a circle. It's for you. And there is such a freedom and like feeling yourself dancing to you. They just think about how you feel when no one's watching and you're dancing to like that sexy song and kind of letting that side.

Nothing's happening right now. So what I think, going to happen is after I get this baby weight off. It's over for everyone. I'm getting a fucking strip hole in my room. Let's do it. Watch it out. It's not for you. It's for me. It's for you. Okay. So are you sliding down the strip pole when you meet your husband? So now I meet my husband. I'm like he he walks in late for our meeting and I look at him and I go, oh my God, like that's my future ex-husband, which is a joke because I'm never getting married. Like never. The day I got married, we were literally walking down the aisle. My six girlfriends

turned around and we're like, oh my God, you're really doing it. I was like, I'm going for a year and a half. Let's go. Future ex-husband, I'm into that. Yeah. So I'm like, that's my future ex-husband. And actually, when I walked away, he said that he talked away, turned around to Jonas, who's one of his best friends at the time and worked with him and was like,

I can tell my mom's telling me to pay attention to her. And it was like right away. And then I got really nervous and broke up with him. And so it was like, I broke, but we did the job. So we did the job. He had no idea how good on the pole I was. You're fucking good on the pole. Can you do an Instagram story on this?

Oh, my God. I got to get it up again. He had no idea how good I was. I think that definitely helped. And, you know, he was into tattoos and motorcycles. And I was like, oh, my God. He's like, so me. So I'm like, you want to go jump out of an airplane?

You want to go skydiving? And he's like, yeah. No, I don't go that far. No, I don't know. about dinner? And I was like, cool, as long as it's like not a date. He was like, okay, it's like not a date. It's like a non-date date. So we go out and actually, I meet him at his house, which is in Venice where we currently live, we're moving. But he owned this piece of land before we were together. And he goes, do you want to see, like, we're on bicycles going and like tasting kitchen for

drinks? And he's like, do I want to show you something cool? And I'm like, what? And he's like, oh, this property behind like this like gate. And I'm like, well, we got to go get drinks. Why? And He's like, you never know. Like, you might live here one day. And I was like, dude, I'm not fucking you on the first night. Like, it's not happening. Relax. That's where we ended up living, having kids, building a house.

Like, our life was like, right away. So he had already bought the property. Yeah, he owned the land before we were together. And there was nothing on it. There was the old structures. Yeah, he was still dealing with the legality of getting people out. Like, he bought the land and there were still people staying and stuff like that. You guys need a strip pole when you walk.

into your house is an homage to how you met. This is an essential. Why didn't he build the strip hole? Get him on that right now. So we built our house out of hand-poured latin plaster. It's a whole other. It's a designer conversation. There's no drywall. What does that mean? There's no drywall. But what I don't get what that means. I have to show you the house. It's like my house looks like, I don't know, you're like you're in Italy. Like there's, it's all like it's like a looks like concrete, but it's not, it's like a better version of concrete and there's no drywall. You're going to have to show me that. Yeah, I've just show you. A friend Weston Mitchell might have an orgasm over that.

He sounds like something he would love. Okay. It sounds super interesting. Yeah. So we love design. Can we get Italian strip pole? Yeah. And the new house.

Yeah. Definitely. So as you guys started growing your careers, you decide that you don't want to act anymore? How does that work? So we met, you know, we're like, you know, and then I booked a television, then I booked a television show out in Atlanta called single ladies. I was like this and I got to go do this. TV show. I'm going to be living in Atlanta for six months out of the year. I did that. And if you want to

like still be with me, you've got to like come every weekend. And that's the only way this is going to work. And he did. I did that for two years. And after the first year he proposed, we went to Greece. He proposed. Yes, my grandfather from my hand in marriage, really, really romantic and old school like we are. And then I went back out for another season. And when I came back, we were moving into the house that we had just built, the one I was telling about. And I was pregnant. And it was a perfect reason to leave that show because it was very chaotic over there and the energy.

Like I came into the show like, oh my God, this is going to be so cool. The show was about, it was like a sex in the city type show. And I was the Carrie Bradshaw character. So fashion. How long did you do this? I did for two years. Okay. So like, you know, vintage Chanel and lubitans.

And I was making out with guys every other day, new actors coming in. And my character was always in love. in a sex scene all the time. And that's when I really didn't, this was just about the time, like, my idea on health and wellness was really starting to change because I was like exercising to be like skinny and fit on TV. And that was my idea of like, oh, I'm into health and wellness. Then the next year I got pregnant. And I was like, okay, the things on like the, what was happening on the show, the interpersonal stuff was just not working out. It was not like, hey, we're best friends and we do this show. It was too crazy.

And I left. I didn't know I was going to stop acting. I was going to have this baby and go right back on set until I had the baby and was like, so who takes care of the baby? I wondered that too. I was like, wait. What happens, right? Like no one's like, I don't know.

No one came to me and said, are you, are you crappy? We had no plan either. You don't remember that. We had no plan. Like there was zero like. I mean, we did have a night nurse, but after that. No, I had a doula. And then I was like, what do you do?

And then what happened? And all my family lived in New York. And I always lived, like, I grew up. My mom had me, but my grandmother was around. My aunts were around. And, like, everyone kind of helped out. I had this baby. And Anthony was like, so I've got to go do this job in Croatia for Nike.

And I was like, oh. So it's just me and her. And then I spent about, I guess, a year and a half being a fully full stay-at-home mom. In that process, I was talking about my job. journey and how I understood that health and wellness was not about being in the gym and not about how many hours you could crush it. It was about rest. It was about taking time for yourself. It was about giving yourself, being kind to yourself and giving yourself a break and just like listening to your body. And I really understood that like it, it wasn't go hard or go home. It was go home and rest your ass.

You forgot something. What? Your husband delivered your baby in your home. Oh yeah. That's a big. No, I'm going to say it right now. I'm not equipped, Lauren. I'm not equipped. Hold on. We got you. We can walk you through this.

Let's walk him through it. Well, first of all, did you know that you wanted to have a home birth? Yes. Yes. We were having a home birth from the very beginning. Okay. So he was like on board and he knew it was coming. Yes.

Yeah. And what are we doing with the plaster in the house? Are we making sure nothing touching it? Because that is giving me anxiety even thinking about it. That was honestly giving him a little anxiety in the beginning too. But the midwives were like, it's all good. We come in. we like plastic bag things. And I have in this house a Roman bathtub. So you know, the bathtub is like deep in the floor.

I'd love a Roman bathtub if you're wondering. My birthday's coming up. Go ahead. Let's do it. Yeah. Go ahead. So I labored in there. But hold on. Your water breaks. No, my water didn't break. So you just went into labor? Yeah. I was 12 days past due with both kids. Wait. Wait. So this is what I don't get. Yeah. You're 12 days past due And all of a sudden you start laboring Why didn't the midwives get there in time?

So good question That's why the first midwives didn't deliver the second baby Yeah, because they were far They should have been like at the door They were far so we're in Venice, they were an Eagle Rock But they were who I chose and and who came heavily like, you know, recommended And there was no, you know, first baby Everyone tells you it takes time

You're going to labor. How many hours? Or labor were you in? Like 100. I don't, like a long time. Like a long time. I had two hours front to back. Wait.

So, so you started having contractions. So it was 12 days overdue. Okay. Okay. And then I was like, oh, hmm, that feels funny. And my dog was the real key. I looked over to my Wimer at the time and he was like doing backflips.

And I was like, oh, I think this baby's coming because he's acting so weird. And I'm like, let me try and lay down. So Anthony's like, yeah, just try and lay down on your side. I'll be right here. And the next thing, you know, I was like, whoa. Nope, nope, nope, nope, in the shower. And I was in the shower and then I was in the tub and then I was on the bed. And you're called the midwives.

We tried in the bed. We called the midwives. Midwives are on their way. My mom is there. My duel is there. I'm like, I can't do this. We got to go to the hospital. And my mom being exactly going back to who she was before was like, no, no, no.

In the beginning, she thought I was crazy. Like you're going to have a home birth. You can't do that. I'm like, yeah, no, people do that. It's if your baby's fine. If you're fine, you can do it. it's legal and safe. Like, okay.

And then watch me like do everything for that whole 10 months, whatever it is, right? Meditation, sound healing, yoga three times a week, Pilates four times a week. I soul cycleed all the way until I was like 40 weeks pregnant. That's a lot of pressure on the bus. I was like this baby. I think that that's why she came out so fast, to be honest with you. Because I was like literally in Angela's like anyone who's soul cycled in L.A. knows Angela's like 90 minute classes, hard core.

And I was like tapping back all the way till she came out. And I was like, mom, I looked down. I was like, I don't know. I don't think I could do this. I think I got to go in for the thing. What's the thing that give you? You know, the shot. And my mom was like, no, no, no, no.

You, yeah. But I was telling her, like, what's the thing? What's the thing? And she's like, no, no, no, no, no. You wanted this? You've been working for this. You're going to do this. And I was like, shit.

I don't know. My mom's not even on my eye. Like I got it. I like went in the shower, like took some woo-sab breaths. And then I went in the bathtub. And then you get the feeling. You're like, oh, I think I'd use bathroom. Right.

That's exactly how it feels. Oh, yeah. It feels like you have to use the bathroom. I'm like, but like you like have to go right now. Right now. So. But a bowling ball is coming out. So I get out.

Right. And I'm like, okay. And everyone's trying to like take me to the bathroom. But like I think that I'm going to like poop. So I'm like, dude. In the Roman bathroom. You're going to be anxiety. No, no, no, no.

And the toilet, girl, in the toilet. So I get out of the bathtub, fall along. So I get a bathtub. I walk over to the water closet and I'm like, no, I'm okay. I can do this on my own. Close the door so that, you know, my dola is like, do you want me to help? No, no, no, I got this. Close the door.

And then, like, you know, you go to, like, sit down on the toilet, right? And right before I touch the seat, the baby's head goes, do to-do. Shut. The fuck up. So, like, I grab my vagina and I'm like, the baby's coming. He's kind of like running around the bathroom. And I like look at the floor and I just lay. My husband was like, you just lay down.

And then you were just on the other side. For many of you, you know, I have been on an extreme health journey this last year. Did about 165 days sober, have really been taking my health seriously, eating right, doing peptides, doing NAD, getting my blood work, all of this stuff, getting IVs all the time, just really upping the way that I take care of myself, especially after having our second child. With that, many. questions coming in. You know, we've talked about stool samples and blood samples and all of this stuff. What do you do? Where do you get your blood work? And then what do you do with that information? That's why I love this partnership with Inside Tracker. This is where you go to track your blood work, to input all your data, to see what you need to work on. So when it comes to your health and

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to take a shit. So you think. And you're crowning ring of fire. Boom. Not ring of fire yet. She just kind of slipped out because you don't know what ring of fire is until you're at ring of fire, by the way. So did you even have pain with your, with your labor? Because it's so quick. No, I felt like I was hit by a mactrop. Okay, so it was terrible.

But then your husband tells you to lay on the ground? No. He said I just like, I looked over. I was like, I came out. I was like holding myself. And I was like, the baby's kid. The baby's coming. The baby's coming freaking out.

And I like kind of looked around the bathroom. And the next thing you know, he's like, you just laid on the floor. And we're like two, two, three pushes and boom, It is primal though. You just went into straight. He was like, you're on the other side. He's like, I've never, I've never seen you so clear.

And I've never been so much in love with you and so fucking frightened of you at the same time as I was in those moments. So who catches the baby? So he caught the baby. So while this is like I'm laying on, so while I'm laying on the floor, he's walking around with a camera. Because you know, my husband's photographer too. So he's like, walking around. He's like, wait. No, totally.

Oh my God. Totally. He's worried about the light. That you know him. Okay. So he's like, so, gosh, I don't remember her name, but the midwife's on the phone. And I'm like, okay, give me the phone. She's like, hi, babe.

Don't worry. I'm right here. I'm like, okay, great. Mom, go to open the door. She's right here. She's like, well, I'm on Lincoln. There's a little bit of traffic. I'm like, chalked the cell phone across the way.

And it was on. And thankfully, so my husband went through several classes with me the first pregnancy. You know, you've done him, right? No, he didn't. No, you didn't do one. You didn't do them? No, you sound with Andre. He sat with my dual.

I did. I did all the stuff of the first. This time I have it because I already been through it. No, no. We have already been through it.

I don't love that you're not a director that doesn't tell me where the light is though, but go on. Yeah. Well, I have other. You have, there's other things, right?

Yeah, I don't know. We just, so Lennox was born in call. She was, she came out in her amniotic sack. What does that mean? Do you know how they're in the bubble of water?

Yeah. She came out in the bubble of water. Hold on, hold on. Do they, I don't know much about it. Did you go to pop it? Typically, if you're in the hospital, they'll handle it. Some babies pop on their own. Lennox popped on her own.

She went like this. And her eyes were bright blue, open eyes, was not crying and just went here. And like she's to this day, she's like a movie. Like she's not because she's my kid. She came from somewhere else. I can not take any credit for who she is. She sounds like a crystal child. She's inquirious.

Like she's just like. That was Laza. Yeah. It's just like, they are, I mean, the stuff that she says to me is mind-blowing. And she's been like this since birth. Like, that's why I named her Lennox. Like, she came out with her two fists up in the air and was looking at me. When's her birthday?

Two-two. Two-two. My husband put her on my chest and she went right. She crawled like the movie shows. Like, that was not my son at all. My son was the opposite. But also born at home. So when we went to have my son four years,

later, I guess, new team. And everybody was really sensitive to what happened the first go-round. I didn't realize until we started interviewing midwives and doulas for, for Dries, my son, how affected my husband was with the first. Like, I just, for we'd been telling the story. He was post-traumatic. We'd been telling the story is a joke. It's super, like people love to hear the story.

It's great. And no, he's been the whole time, I don't, I don't, maybe he didn't even know. But then all of a sudden we're like sitting in, do you know Eric Cchiti? No, but that sounds familiar. She's, she's, she's, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you've guys ever. So she was my, so she was my doula with Dries.

And she, after our meeting, our first meeting, because he was meeting her for the first time. And I know for him, she goes, you know, there's some, like, he was, he's, he's a little bit traumatized by it. Well, he's used to directing Taylor Swift coming off the treadmill, not a baby coming out. Not necessarily from, like, because he's not like squirmish.

sure. There would have been no, there would have, like, I could have not told my husband to sit back behind me. You can't see anything. That's not who he is. He's in there. But the fact of like, and I was like, really? I don't think so. She's like, imagine he must have been nervous. It was all on him. Like, this is still. He has no idea what he's doing. No idea what he's doing. Like, you feel like you know what you're doing because you're also, you're also like from hormones and physical, like, you're going through this physical motion that makes you like a beast. Like, it's very animal. But like, so your mind and your body are talking. talking to each other. But he's like, he's walking around every day like, oh my God, I'm like going

to deliver this baby. I wasn't prepared to do. Right. But thankfully, Dr. Berlin had us do like, love him. Yes. He's been on this podcast twice, I think. Oh my gosh. I love him. I love him. Love him. Love him. He's been through both first with me. And he didn't make it in for Lennox's because he waited out, he waited outside for like two hours. He's like they must be having the baby because no one's answered the phone or the door. He would have helped too. And he, well, with Dries, he wasn't, With when Dries was born, he was total giving me massage the whole time. He's amazing. He's amazing.

The second. So Lennox was two hours front to back. And Dries was 54 minutes. And my water broke. And your water, how did the midwife get to your house in 56 minutes? She was there right away. So she, so what happened was Erica had her, her business partner lived in Venice. And so the last couple of weeks is I was again, 12 days past exactly both of them 12 days passed.

Please don't tell me that right now. No, you want to. Were you passed to? what you're first? Yeah. How many? Two weeks. Oh yeah. Don't tell me that. I'm so sorry. The second one you were two. The second one you were two. Exactly 12 days, the both of them. And I, no one, but that's the thing. Like, no one can expect that, but half the time. You know what I told Michael this morning? Being a few weeks out is like someone telling you, hey, you have the

stomach flu today, but it's going to go away in three weeks and you're going to vomit and shit your pants and have a fever, but it's only three weeks. Yeah, no, that's not cool. And you're like, yeah, no. That feels like forever. It feels like forever. It's forever. The end is forever. I get it. I know. Oh, my God. And you're telling me you went over 12 days with the second one. Okay, so the second one was it more seamless? The second one was, everything was just faster. I was shocked because I didn't know what a water break was and like what it felt like. And you know when they're like, it's not like the movies. It was like the movies. I don't know broke everywhere. Yeah, so I laid down, I was like laying down about it. I was like, I better like get like prepa Instagram post for it was like, no, totally. Because it was made's one year anniversary. My son was born on my business's one year anniversary. Got it. So I was like, in case he comes in the next couple days. I'll just have it up. Like, yeah. I was like sitting there coloring my, you know, making my cohesive. That's when we really cared about our cohesive feeds. And my husband's like passed out snoring. And then all of a sudden just like, boom, boom. And I was like. Like. And I was like, like,

like, what was that? Like, what was that sound? What was that feeling? And the next thing, you know, we're in a water bed. And so I wake up my husband. I'm like, hey, hey, I think my water broke. And he's like, okay. And I'm like, no, no, no, get up.

Get up. Like, my water broke. It's a lot of water. It's going everywhere in the bed. Like, and we have like a suede, like a velvet, excuse me, a crushed velvet. She's anxiety right now. So, my anxiety. This house, I'm like, is the house okay?

Blue crushed velvet, okay? He gets up and like college is like, you know, you just put the towel down. He's like, we just put a towel down. And I'm like, I flick on the light. I'm like, dude, and there's water everywhere. He's like, holy shit. Yeah, this isn't like it has come. This is like we can just wipe it up and pretend like there's no mask.

It's not like, oh, it's okay. You've got your period. It's okay. We just put a little towel down. No, it's not like that at all. And so Erica had been staying in Venice at her business partner's place, thankfully so. And so she was at my house within three minutes. And everybody was really prepped to come fast because my first was so fast.

You don't say. I think that you were probably like everyone, it's time now. Your husband was probably like, I got to go get a candy bar. I'm not doing this one. Not doing this one again. So is your first going to be part of Zazer going to be part of like this? I didn't even think about that until you just said that. Really?

I don't know that you're allowed. to have more than one person at the hospital right now. Because of COVID still? Yeah. Even here? What is that like? There's COVID here? It's Texas. There's no COVID here. COVID who? I don't know if if... Well, we're in a difference.

But I don't know how Zaza would respond if she saw me giving birth. I can't think of that. Are you really like, are you really 40 so far? Right now? Yeah. No, no, no, no. I'm 38. No, I'm 36. I'm 36. I think I'm 36 right now. I think I'm going to deliver at 38. You go ahead, girl.

Go ahead. Put it out in the unit. Manifest that shit. I'm 36 weeks right now and I think I'm going to deliver at 30. You could have time if you wanted to start thinking about and including her. So what I did was I first showed Lennox. How old is she again? But how old was Lennox?

Three. Three. Oh, three. She's two. Three and a half. So I first started showing her videos of animals giving birth. Did it scare? No.

It's natural. Natural. Yeah. Right. And then after like, I don't know, 10 videos of animals giving birth, then I showed her videos of women giving birth, like easy, showing her that there's going to be screaming and there's going to be blood. And she was fine. And she was like asking a lot of questions. And then I said, so when it's time, well, it could happen at night. Lennox happened during the day. So it could happen at any time. You can be part of it or you cannot be part of it. It's totally up to you. We will ask you. And, you will decide at the moment. And she was, I got to be there. I got to be there. I got to be there. So now it's one something in the morning.

And I can feel like I have the, oh, I was like, oh, I got to use the bathroom. That baby's here already. And I'm like, mom, go wake up Lennox. And she's like, are you sure? I was like, she'll kill me if you don't wake her up. She wakes, Lennox is in it. She cut the umbilical cord with Anthony. At three?

Three and a half? That is amazing. She cut the umbilical cord? With her dad. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. She was like, why is this baby so white?

Because he's like all the vernex. By the way, by the way, Dreece had so much vernex on him. I was literally like this. What is vernex? Why don't I know? Is that good for you? What the white stuff?

Wait, do I need to put that on my face? Yes, and don't wash the baby. Wait, can you put that in your products? Zaza had that. A vernic serum? You take the burnix. It's like literally like off his butt, like putting it on my eyes. I'm going to take it.

How did I not know that? Zaza had it. But we didn't give her a bath after. so that's what you want to sink it. And that's why, because that's really good for this. I'll give you some facial massage with vernex. Yeah, I just like, pull out the... I need some help.

Pull out the gloss. You look great. What do you mean? Yeah, he looks so good. Listen, nobody... I can use a little vernex, though. Lauren, don't be, you know, stingy. Okay, so...

So take the verness. Hopefully I'm saying it right. But you know what it meant. Okay. The white stuff. Everyone's screaming at the head. Their mics right now yelling. I know, I know.

I know. I know. Everyone's going to be in my DMs. Just like side note, I can't believe that your three and a half year old was like it was almost natural for her to see a birth, it sounds like. For whatever reason, I don't know what happened. Maybe we just got super interested in it or maybe just we're hot out here in Texas. We've been talking so much about hydration, mineralization, how to stay hydrated, how talking about how so many of us are running around all day dehydrated. Some of the signs you're dehydrated are, you know, your skin's not looking great. You have bad breath. You're not performing. You're fatigued.

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do a video visit. I love this. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to go to Zoc-D-C-com slash skinny and download Z-D-K-D-K-A-A-P-S-D-S-K-E-T-E. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. That's Z O-C-D-O-C dot com slash skinny. Zuck-D-C-com slash skinny. But it is very natural for them to say birth because before we had hospitals, before we, and thank God for hospitals and thank God for hospital births and they're necessary and they're great. And listen, everybody, like I'm a firm believer in your body, your choice, what you want

to do, how you want to do it. We all have choices, how you want to eat. There's no one-stop shop. Like, you know, I was vegan for six years. My kids, while my daughter eats meat now after being vegan for six years, her decision, we taught her how to like listen to her body and say, hey, you're going to try something. How does it feel? This makes me feel great.

Cool. It sounds like you're really good at communicating with your kids. Yeah, because they're, you know, they're just little people. They're not like any lessons. Yes, you have to communicate with them in a way that they can comprehend at their age level. But I don't shy away from it. It doesn't mean I don't tell her inappropriate things. but we don't try away.

We talk about why people are protesting. We talk about racism and sexism and what's happening in the world right now. And she goes to a school that teaches them about identity and that some women, you know, some women identify as male, some males. Like, we are super open to her because we want her to be, have every, all the tools that are necessary to go out in the world and succeed. And I think that, you know, when you put people in a box, if you're not exposed to everything, then you don't know how to maybe understand it or maybe you have a trouble, you have to

kind of sit back and figure out how to understand it or you have to do work that you're doing later in life that you could have just been always kind of just carried with you. Like we just try and expose her to everything. We try and my son as well. And we just really just root in our kids that everything is about like love, understanding, things that are natural, like things that happen in this world or are part of life. and some things are going to, like, jar you, and some things are going to be scary.

But remember, like, mom and dad are always here, and you always have a choice. You can be part of something, just kind of like my mom did. Like, when I say, like, I always came close, almost, almost, like, I touched the fire, but then I was like, I have a choice. I don't have to go all the way in.

I don't have to go in that trouble, that, like, scenario. That scenario looks like too much trouble. I'm going to see you guys later, and I have the choice I can turn around and walk away. It's interesting you bring up these, like, as you were talking about, like, exposing children to just all different walks of life and different experiences in life early on is so important. I was, you know, I grew up and my aunt was a lesbian, right? And she had, I remember going to her wedding when I was like five or six years old. I think what that experience did to me is for me, it was so natural.

It was so normal that I never, it was never a strange thing to me. And I'm grateful for that experience because, you know, you go through life and you watch maybe some other people that hadn't been. exposed to those things, especially then, right? And it was like this unnormal, unnatural thing to them. And it's not even necessarily a fault of their own. It's just like their parents had not. Yeah. And they also, and it also makes them feel uncomfortable or it makes them like that person feel like, well, I don't know how to react. I don't know how to say, what to say, when to say. And it's like, if you had been exposed and had, you know, positive experiences around you, then it would, you wouldn't even be questioning how to act. There would be nothing. It would just be just be,

this is life. And this is how we, you know, really want our kids to be in everything that they do. So we, I mean, my kids come almost everywhere with me. Dries literally like last night, I was like, so mommy's going away for work. And he hasn't seen that, especially because COVID, right? And he's like, well, why can't I come? And I was like, oh, but mommy's going to get a plane. But we go on planes because we always travel together. Like, it's very rare that my kids are not with me. We just kind of expose them to everything. I love that. I love bringing, it's like, you're coming into our world. Yeah.

We're not like all of a sudden everybody's tiptoeing. You're the parents who're like, shh, baby's sleeping. Well, if you, when the baby sleeps, guess what?

You're going to be shushing forever. No, we're not shushing the baby. The baby needs to sleep amongst the chaos, amongst the baby gets used to it. And the baby's been doing that its whole time and gestation.

To your point, at some point in life, these kids are going to get exposed to the realities of the world. And if they're not equipped to deal with it and they think it's some unnatural thing, then it creates a real challenge

for them in the future. I mean, I think it's why you see some of the things. It's honestly a lot of the issues we have in the world is based on ignorance, right? Absolutely. I know not stupidity, but ignorance. People just don't know because they're not exposed and haven't educated themselves. I also think, too, what that creates is a non-judgmental environment, which is so, and I think it's one of the best tools you can have as you get older, is to come from a space of non-judgment and understand everyone's had unique experiences. Very hard to do.

Yes, it's very hard to do. Sounds like you're doing a great job, though. What are some wellness things that you do with your children that you, like, could give us a couple tools in your toolbox? I think that you're like, you're so amazing in the wellness space. Like what are like little things? Like it could be like toothpaste that you use or a snack that you go to. Well, I think everything, like you said before, revolves around conversation and choice. And so what I've learned as a parent is the more your, it's kind of like when you're like dealing with your partner.

Like the more choice you think they're getting, the better the win is, right? So allowing our kids to understand why we do things and what their choices are. So food, for example. So both of the kids were raised no meat, no dairy, no gluten. Obviously, no processed sugars for the first. I think Dries just had ice cream, vegan ice cream for the first time. So you just had white sugar. Oh, come on. That's so much work.

How did you do that? How did you do that? You know what? It wasn't work because that's how we. live, that's how we are at home. So like, what are the foods that you're reaching for with that? It's not exactly about like changing anything at home. If you are living that, that you can't see, my thing is like, I can't go and say, well, I'm only going to have like, I'm going to have that vegan dish with a side of salad and like a green juice and then turn around and feed my kid like,

I don't know, ocean spray or whatever. I like, I shouldn't say the brand, but like, and like, you know, feed my, feed my kid some, um, some, um, some, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, fast food restaurant chain. Like that, that doesn't work, right? So I try to explain to our kids, like, from the very beginning, we eat a certain way. This is like what it eats, what it makes, what makes the body feel good. And I explained to Lennox that like, because she can really understand and she's made choices on her own now. As an adult, we try and get back to that feeling of being clean. How many, whatever you want to call them, diet, cleanses, detoxes, whatever, have we done in our life to try and get back to that feeling of being clean?

I'm going to take out gluten. I'm going to take out dairy. I'm going to like concern myself with, I'm only focusing on gut health. I'm going to be keto. All those things we do because we're like, gosh, when we do those things, we feel like super enlightened and present. And I want my kids to start that way so that they're not going back. They're making the choice on their own. So what are like some like specific snacks and stuff that you could like for me I'm busy like toddler what are some specifics so we do like a lot of cut fruit that your kid can just go in and grab on their own especially now like you're starting to get at the age three four five like they start to go in and like you have things pre-cut in little glass containers a lot of fermented foods kids love like pickles a few olives

you know you want to keep the salt down but like my daughter loves purple cabbage Sourcrow. Those are great foods for the gut. What else? We do cookies that are made from like gluten-free oatmeal. My son loves gluten-free oatmeal with like strawberries on top. It's like, they only know what you give them. So if you give them Oreos, and I'm not saying your kid should never, ever have an Oreo. It just, your kids shouldn't have Oreos every single day. Because why? What? What? What's the benefit of it? It's not. And you know what gets them? What? Juice. Juice. Juice. I know. But you, but I do. But I do. green juices. My kids love green juices, but I just do apple, right? So it's sweet. You put whatever greens in there, some mango and apple, and they're super happy. Like my kid loves green juice,

both of them, green juice, coconut water. If we're at a birthday party, they'll have like, if we're in a, like a spot, like in a moment where someone's having a tantrum or we're at a gas station and you get one of those like green. I can't remember like the apple sauce. Like, that's great. That's not, those moments are going to happen. But it's all about what you have in your refrigerator at home. So they're going to eat what they see. And that's pretty much it. Looks like we're going to have to throw away Michael's ice cream after this.

What ice cream do you eat? No, I don't even really eat. I'm just kidding. He's lying? I have like one ice cream. Jenny's. No, he's is great. No, he has no attachment to food.

I love Jenny's. Jenies is great. My kid has the vegan version. Because at the one in, I buy like a thing of ice cream. I'll have like four bites and then I won't touch it again for. Oh, no one wants to hang out with you because no one does that. By the way, I buy ice cream and I eat the whole container. And you're not delivering my baby in two hours at the house either.

I don't know about that. Or directing the light. I don't like a lot of ice cream. No, but seriously, listen, when the kids didn't, so Lennox now eats meat. She decided last summer that she wanted to try it. And we said, cool, you can try grass-fed beef. And she said, I like it and I like the way it makes me feel. And we said, no problem.

You can have it two to three times. week. Wow. She's intuitive. But she knows what makes her body feel good. And one of the best stories ever was right before COVID hit, we went camping. And we, you know, they had the campground, the little store, whatever. And she wanted those, oh my gosh, you know, they're, they're like in plastic. They're icies and they're like all food coloring. Otter pops? Not otter pops. No, no. This is like what we grew up in. Like 25 cent plastic. Pixie sticks? No, I don't know the brand. But it's like, you know, they're fully plastic, artificial coloring, all sugar, frozen, and they're tall and skinny, like a ruler. Maybe, sure. I don't know what they're called.

Otter pop. Yeah, it's just straight ice with like sugar and water and artificial flavoring. Yeah, the worst. Like, and nothing I want to give her. But she's five. So she's fully understands that kids have those. So she's like, I really want one. And I said, I really would prefer not to get you that because there's no beneficial reason for you to have. have that. Like there's no nutrition. It's not, she says, but I really want to try it. I said, okay, fine. She, because she was, she was there. I said, here's the deal. You can have it. I'm going to tell you first why. I'm going to read you what's in it. I'm going to tell you why I wouldn't want to give it to you. So food coloring, red fat, like all of that, right? So she, those are things that she is used to hearing, right? She's, I still want to have it. Okay, cool. We're going to

check in 15 minutes, 30 minutes in an hour. So you can check where your body, see how your body feels. 15 minutes. She was like, I'm fine. She keeps on eating 20 minutes later. She's like, oh my God, I'm itching, Mama. I'm itching. She's like, this thing is toxic. This reminds me of you when I tell you, hey, maybe you shouldn't eat this banana split at midnight. Listen, I will crush a banana split.

And then you say, oh, I have a headache. You're literally Lennox with the otter pop. I'm like a 35-year-old child. And all of a sudden, by the way, she'll never ask to eat that again because she had her own experience with it. So the whole point of my thing is like you just give the kids, we all eat differently and we all feel like our bodies benefit from some people are like heavy meat eaters. They feel like they need to eat meat. Some people love, you know, plant-based. Cool, no problem.

Just educate your kid and how you eat and why you eat that way and then allow them to follow suit. And then when they want to try something else, encourage them to do so as long as they can figure out, you know, how does that mean as long as they are willing to answer those questions. How did that make your body feel? Feels good? Should we eat that again? Great. Did that that make your body feel crappy? Should you eat that again? No. Great. You've inspired me. You are very inspiring. As a mother, a business person, tell us about what you're working on before you leave. Tell us about all the projects that you have in the works where our audience can find you. Okay. So you can find me on Instagram at Denise Vassi, V-A-S-I. And you can find our site made.

at M-A-E-D-com. C-O. We're in the works. I'm in development on a little secret project coming in next year. So I'm really excited. It's going to be

in the beauty space. So, yeah, that's what's coming up next. And I can't wait for everybody to finally see it. I'm going to answer, like, though probably the number one question I get is going to be

answered next year. Here's the plan. Your husband directs a commercial of you explaining. to your daughter, what's in the product? While I'm on the pole. While you're on the pool and having your next baby. There are no next babies.

Shop is closed, girl. I don't, I don't, you can have them for me. No, no. Any surrogates out there? Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. I mean, that interview, I could have gone 20 different places. I know.

We're all over the place. No, that was so interesting. Thank you for coming on. You guys go follow Denise. Do you want to win some of my favorite beauty products? All you have to do is tell us your favorite part of this episode with Denise on my latest Instagram at Lauren Bostic. And make sure you've rated and reviewed the podcast.

And on that note, we'll see you next time. What sunscreen do I use on Zaza? This is something that I really researched. I wanted something that was vegan, paraben-free, and gluten-free. And that is Sunbum. You've seen this everywhere. It is very, very famous for being an amazing sunscreen brand. I especially like it for babies.

kids. So they have like suncare, skin care, hair care, lip care, and baby SPF. I am personally a huge fan of putting those bathing suits on Zaza that have sun protection in them. And then I also like to do sunscreen and a hat on her. Their baby bum sunscreen is for sensitive skin. And they're very much about the best ingredients. So it's for delicate sensitive skin. There's no synthetic fragrances. There's no sulfates. There's none of that shit in the sunscreen. The one that I like is fragrance-free. to get her the mineral lotion. So they have an SPF 50. It's absolutely incredible. I think you guys will love it. If you're a mom like me who cares about sun protection, I feel like you will love sunbum. Their motto is to trust the bum. They're a trusted brand and an educational resource.

They have an incredible community too. I am all about getting the fuck out of the sun. So if you're looking for a sunscreen, especially to put on your baby or toddler, you have to check them out. use one-time code a skinny at checkout for 15% off your purchase at sunbum.com. This ends December 31st, 2020. And like I said, the product you want to check out is the baby bum. It's fragrance-free. It's SPF-50. It's mineral. It's all the things. Use one-time code a skinny at checkout for 15% off your purchase at sunbum.com. This ends December 31st, 2022. And like I said, the product you want to check out is the baby bum. It's fragrance-free. It's SPF-50. It's mineral. It's all the things.