The Bossticks - Stassi Schroeder On Life After Cancellation, Being A New Mom, Vanderpump Rules, & Lessons Along The Way

Episode Date: May 23, 2022

#463: Stassi Schroeder is a former star of reality show Vanderpump Rules, New York Times Bestselling Author, and new mom. If you haven't listened to Stassi's first episode with us, head back to episode #241 and see how her life has changed since January of 2020. Today we sit down with Stassi to discuss her journey with cancellation, and her life after reality TV. We also talk about how she lost the post-baby weight, the projects she has been working on, and if she would ever return to the reality tv world. To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM This episode is brought to you by Feel Free from Botanic Tonics. If you are looking for an alcohol alternative try this euphoric kava drink and get 40% off your order or subscription by using either code SKINNY40 or code SKINNY240 at www.botanictonics.com  Produced by Dear Media 

The following podcast is a dear media production. You know what is so obnoxious? The merch that Skinny Confidential just launched. That is right. We have merch. For the first time in 13 years, I present you with merch. Every little detail was designed by me and my team. Every little color, every little tone, every little font.

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would go with a large. And they are now available at shop period, dearmedia period.com slash TSC. Go grab them while they're hot. I think they'll be sold out in a week. So hurry. Shop period, dearmedia period.com slash TSC. All right, let's get into the show. Taylor, it's a damn good thing that Symbiotica decided to partner with our show because I'm telling you what, I am their number one customer. I am taking all of our disposable income and I am dumping it into Symbiotica. I think I have all of their products. I think I am their best customer. I don't think I've found a better supplement company. And I say that with a lot of confidence. If you guys have been paying attention and listening to this show, we've had Cherveen,

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But also, they have so many different offerings that you can jump into for whatever your health needs may be. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a cereal. entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her. I need to also educate myself a little more, understand what's going on a little more, and just take a time out. Like take a really long time out and figure it out. I know that in our industry it's like you constantly feel like you need to be,

working, doing something else, creating something else. But the best thing that I did for myself was literally nothing. The episode that you've been waiting for, welcome back to the skinny confidential him and her show. Today, we have Stasi Schroeder back on the show. She's in a new chapter in line. It's been a long time since we seen Stasi. Lots happened for her since then. And in this episode, we explore it all. We talk about her cancellation, her new book, her new baby, her new husband, leaving Vanderpump rules, her wedding, diet, health, fitness, wellness, all the things are packed in this episode. I personally love having her on the show because she's really damn good at podcasting. Yeah, she's one of the OGs in the space. And, you know, I think this episode's very interesting because

we've obviously known Stasi for a while. We had her on the show a long time ago before all of the controversy that she's went to that we talk about openly on this show. And I think for people that are coming into this episode wondering what this is going to be about, we have the court of public opinion. It is running rampant. Stasi has been at the receiving end of that. And I just think it's a very interesting human experiment to sit down with someone who's been on such a severe receiving end of, like I said, the court of public opinion, which she definitely has. So who is Stasi Shoder? She is the New York Times bestselling author. She's written two New York Times bestselling books, you guys, next level basic and recently off with my head.

She's a fan favorite from Bravo's Vanderpump Rules. And she now has The Good, the Bad, and the baby with her husband, Bo. Stasi is an author, a mother, a wife, a former podcast host, a public figure, and a personality. And like I said, in this episode, she delivers. With that, let's welcome Stasi back to the skinny confidential, him and her show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Okay, how the fuck do you look so good after having a baby? Okay, first of all, it's been like 15, 16 months since I had a baby. And it was the hardest thing. ever to fit back into my clothes. It took me a little over a year.

And Lauren, I literally texted you multiple times after I gave birth being like, I'm sobbing, I'm crying. I haven't lost a pound. In fact, I've gained more weight after like giving birth. I was swollen for two weeks. I couldn't like, I could barely move. Like it has taken so much work. It was not one of those situations where it's like genetics and the baby, what just fell off.

It was just really easy. No, I had to. I did bone broth for dinner for like four to five months. Like I worked out and ran like four miles a day. Like I tried so hard and that did not work. Like that did not work. It didn't start working. And also I don't want to say like I'm no expert.

So like I'm not giving advice like nutrition and diet. I love what an expert that would a non expert gives advice. Like this like if people I don't I don't need anybody coming after me being like you're basically preaching starving yourself and running a million miles a day. No. this is just what I have done. But once I started just doing kind of like intermittent fasting, like I don't get hungry in the morning. So like I wait until like I actually get hungry. And like that's kind of what I then became like my diet. And obviously like I'm not overeating

and I had to just like really focus on small portions. But I started doing EMS workouts. Okay. And that is literally changed my life. It is changed. When I say Lauren, I have never had muscles or been someone that was like athletic. Like I was like, I was fine, but like, I've never felt strong. Like, if I took off my cardigan right now, like, I have like, got the guns? I have like guns. Like, wait, how does it do you? I feel, I feel strong. Like, my back feels strong. Like, my legs feel strong. Like, and it's just 20 minutes a week. Wait, explain what it is. Is this what Tara was talking to me about the other day? Yeah. It's like a machine, right? So it's, oh, I guess my phone is in here. It's the Bridgerton theme song.

Okay, I'm like, how long is this? Oh my God. Yep, that's my phone. Sorry about that. It's like, what is that thing that when they zap, like, they put... Your pulse? You know, the, the, the, oh, God. Like the little, like the little white things? No, like when they put this, like, big block on you and like zap and it's like basically getting like 18,000, like crunches and like one, one, like one session waiting there. So you literally lay there. No, this is not it. Okay. So you put on a suit where like it, there's things wrapped around your arms. Oh, I've heard about this thing. It's a full-blown vest like on your legs. Like I look like I'm getting suited up for Mission Impossible like 14, whatever number. How many times a week? I do it once a week, 20 minutes. So you work out while this machine is like zapping your muscles and it is so hard. And afterwards you are sore for like, five days.

And then I have like two days off of not being sore. And then I started again. Did the guy that invent this, he's here, right? Or he's around here? I'm pretty sure this is an LA thing right now, which is why I haven't really like posted about it

because not many people have access to it. But it is legit, I'm telling you. Is this what Lala did on Vanderpump rules? Yes. So that's how I found out about it because Katie and Lala did it on Vanner Pump. And they were like,

you have to try this. And I was like, I will try anything. at this point because running every day isn't doing shit. Drinking bone broth at night isn't doing shit. This truly, like, your muscles are constantly just like burning things off. I swear to God. It's more of like, it's like an efficient workout because you're getting the workout in in like

in 20 minutes. In like on steroids on crack way, which makes sense. You guys, I'm trying to convince myself this is going to work. Google it. Seriously, just Google it. Okay, I'm going to try it afterwards. It's fucking amazing. So I need to do that after I give birth, intermittent fast, and have bone broth.

You're the one who told me about bone broth, I feel like. I might have told you about bone broth. I'm pretty sure it was you. Because it's protein. And those were just like miserable nights. Like literally miserable nights just watching Beau have normal dinner and I'm just drinking bone broth that he tried putting like, he would try so hard to like make it be like soup and put like spices in it and, you know, just different things. I'm like, no, this sucks. Just all of it sucks.

It just sucks. But at least you can have a margarita. Because when you're pregnant, you can't have that. So I would rather have my skinny margarita or like my glass of wine with ice in it than food. Same. Is that what you're going to say? So my bone broth with like my side of wine. Yeah.

That's what I want. No, 100%. As long as I can have a cocktail with what I'm doing. Yes. I'm on the same page. Michael decided that he was going to go sober for 140 days. Well. I know.

What day are you on? I'm on like 110 or something. That is so impressive. Well, you know, I did like 70 days last year. And then I was like, okay. And then she got, I mean, we haven't been like doing much, you know, we just haven't been like working. No, we haven't been doing much.

I've been building the nose and an eye. I mean, like in our social world, right? It's just been like we've been kind of like head down. Really? Because I feel like you guys are always somewhere. Well, I mean, like this is our social setting. Oh, geez. Do I need to watch the show Bridgington?

Are you joking? I know about it. I've never heard of this show. This is like how you are with Taylor Swift and I don't know about. I don't know. No, I'm not like a big Swift. I like Taylor Swift. Oh, I thought you liked, really liked her.

No, I, that's somebody else. But I mean, I like her. But Bridgington is that. Bridgington? What the fuck is wrong with you? Like, how do you even have a podcast and not know what Bridgetton is? I've no idea how to pronounce it. How do you say it?

Bridgetton. Bridgetton. What is it about? Sounds a little. Oh my. Like, for real? It's, yeah. Is it, what's that one show?

It takes place in the, the regency. Downtown Abbey, is that what it is? It's not. Is it downtown or downtown? Downton. Downton. Downtown is downtown. It's downtown.

It's downtown. Totally different. They're both period pieces. They're both historical shows. And that's like my, that's like my sweet spot. But why is it so good you like the outfits? It's like gossip girl meets like the early 1800s. But is it?

It's like Morn's worst nightmare. Huh? I don't know how period PC I am. Okay. No, I like a good historical drama. I don't know how period PC I am though. Yeah. Period PC is like the only word I know to like describe myself.

I would rather watch housewives. See, no, I can't do that anymore. I just feel a little too. Once everything went down, I'm like, well, obviously can't watch Bravo anymore because that hurts. You needed space. I definitely. And now that I'm out of it.

Like I obviously, I watched Vanderpump Rules to see Katie, my friends and stuff like that. But I don't find, like, I don't have the desire to watch Housewives anymore because it, it doesn't spark joy. Is it irritating to watch your eyes? I just did. It doesn't spark joy. And when I, like, have time to actually watch a show for myself, it has to be something that, like, oh, this really just like puts me in the best mood ever. and those are period pieces. Is it irritating to watch a show

that you kind of put on the map? You were basically the one that put it on the map, right? Like I can say that? No. No, that's a very fair question. I thought it would be a lot harder than it was. And I wonder if that's because

so much time had passed because like they skipped a year of filming and I'd already had Hartford. So it's not like I was just locked in my house like I was during 2020, sober, pregnant and like hysterical. Like so it was like life was good already by the time by the time Vanterpump rules came out that like I was just so happy to be a mom that I was like this and watching it I realized this is not my life anymore. Like I don't do these I don't go to these types of parties.

I don't have anything to do with the restaurants like watching you know my friends like do like a fashion show like at like Airbnb in Palm Springs. I'm like, I can't picture myself in that situation, which made it, like, a lot easier to watch because I don't see how I would fit in. Well, becoming a mother, too, you realize how little other things matter. Very fucking accurate. Yeah. For me to go out to, like, even a dinner. Yeah. It's got to be like, it's got to hit my checklist.

It really has to be good. It has to be the right people. It has to be the right time. It has to be the right environment. Otherwise, like, no, I'm tired. Because you're spending time. away from the baby. Yeah. And even if, let's just say for the sake of the argument, it's at night when the baby's sleeping, well, that's also my alone time. So, and I need that. So like, do I want to sacrifice

my alone time to go to a dinner or a party or something? Like, you have to just truly weigh both options because I truly value my alone time. I can imagine, too, with reality television, too, you're like, is this worth it to go and film all this stuff? when I could be at home making money in a different way. Yeah. I mean, you know, like, it's just... Like, I was asking, at this point in your career, I was saying, like, is there even, and maybe you'll go back,

but like, is there, like, what would it take to have you go back to television? Like, would you even want to or do you even need it anymore? I mean, I think about it often because so many people have asked me, like in my private life. Like, everyone asks me. Like, I've had producers ask me. Like, I've been asked a lot. And I've had these conversations.

And I'm like, and I think I've struggled with the fact that my answer is, like, I kind of like an I don't know, but I'm allowed to still be figuring out. I love my life so much right now that, and I know how reality TV disrupts your life and it puts you in situations that you would normally not be in. And you kind of get put in this category, this lifestyle that maybe you don't want. But at the same time, I really enjoyed doing reality TV. And it was fun. And I don't know. All I know is that I wouldn't go back to reality TV unless I was an executive producer. I was just going to say, like, you have someone else control your narrative.

Yeah, I can't do that. It was in my, Michael and I said this today, we were taking a walk. Like, there was such an opportunity, in my opinion, this is my opinion, for the show to show. showcase you and Jacks and whatever's journey through everything that you guys were navigating. And I think it would have helped other people. And it maybe also would have educated other people in the process. And the opportunity was just stripped away with no conversation. I actually don't think it was thought out. Like now that we're here in 2022 and I'm hearing about Vanderpump Valley and this and that, I'm like, was that really thought out or was it

just an emotional reaction by the producers? That was it. It was clearly not thought out because my, and I think we all know, I think it's very obvious now, but my producers didn't even know. So like this was from a higher, whether it was Bravo or NBC Universal, like my, the production company that I worked for and my producers, like this, they, they had no idea. So that was like a really sad thing. And it was obviously like a very quick decision. But I also understood.

And like, I don't have any animosity towards whomever. Bravo or NBC Universal is because I do understand like having to protect what you've built. And so if I'm going to in any way like hurt something that somebody's built, then it's like get me out of there. So like I I respect that side of it also. I just think it was honestly, it was a rash decision. And I think whenever people make rash decisions, it's typically doesn't go the right way. That's true. Right? Especially in business. It's like I'm just trying. And I remember when that, first happened, you know, because it was on, like, the clips they were pulling was from Jackie's show. Yeah. And so I remember I was like, I was enjoying an orange juice. I was in San Diego Ranch.

I was trying to relax. And I, everyone started messaging all this stuff. And I was like, Are you really making this about you? You were enjoying an orange. I mean, but he's painting a picture for me. I was trying to understand what happened because people were messaging that like this thing that happened years ago that was talked about years ago on a show is now and we have to make and we have to change our whole business. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I was like, no, we're not doing any of that. I'm like, we're not doing any of that. But I think it was just time. Everyone was so fucking hypercharged. Nobody was thinking, right? Yeah. No, but I think that also at the same time, I mean, I look back at it now and I'm like, this was actually a gift.

Like, when you're on a reality show for so long, like, I was on one for my adult life, most of my adult life. And when you're on a reality show for so long, they're making, you're on a path that you have no control over. And by being fired and released from that situation as hard as it was, and even though, like, I miss it sometimes, I now, like, I can do whatever I want to do. It's, there is no one guiding me. There's no one telling me that I, I have to be friends with certain people, go to these certain places, like, talk about these certain things.

Like, I can do whatever the fuck I want. And there's, like, just so much, so much satisfaction. and like joy in that. I personally think this is one of the best ideas I've ever heard, and that is better help. To be able to go online when you're feeling burnt out and have online therapy reminds you to prioritize yourself. If you've been listening to this show for a while, you've heard that we've been talking so much about the importance of talking to someone about actually sharing your thoughts, getting them out with someone else so that they can bounce off somebody that has a perspective that's different than your own so that you can work on your own mental health and get

a place where you're not just stuck with your own problems and you can actually work through them with a professional. I did therapy a lot when I was younger and I found it to be very overwhelming. The whole process of getting in the car, going there, you run into someone you know in the office. There's the sign in clipboard. You got to wait in the waiting room. You go in. It's a whole thing. And to be able to just have access to it online to talk about whatever you want, any kind of struggle or stress is absolutely incredible. I would highly recommend. I would highly recommend that. checking out BetterHelp if you're looking into therapy. And you should know this is very affordable. So if you're having symptoms of lack of motivation, you're feeling helpless, trapped, detachment, fatigue, whatever it is,

BetterHelp can help. BetterHelp is a customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. Like I said, it's much more affordable than in-person therapy. And you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. So it's quick and efficient. This podcast, is sponsored by BetterHelp and the Skinny Confidential Him and her podcast listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash skinny. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash skinny. People get so, I guess they get irritated with me when I say this kind of stuff, but I don't believe in cancel culture in the sense that like you can't really cancel somebody, right? You can like scream. You can make it really, really hard for them. Sure, you can scream and yell and wine and you can get brands to stop working with them and you get a segment of the world to yell. But like, like, you can scream. Like, what I always tell people is...

What a horrible waste of energy, though. I know. But listen, what I keep trying to tell people, and even on this thing that's going on with Twitter, I'm like, you can't cancel attention, right? Like, if people are paying attention, they're paying attention. You can be mad that people are paying attention. But in your case, clearly people are still paying attention. And so I always find this whole like cancel culture thing.

You're canceled. You're canceled. It's like as long as people are still paying attention and they care about what you have to say, you are uncancelable. It is not a real thing. The only way you are truly canceled if people stop paying attention. That's like with this show, if people get mad at me or Lauren, all the shit, we say, I'm like, the numbers keep going up.

Yeah. Like, sorry, it's true. I know. It's a, cancel culture is, it's a weird. It just feels like a medieval thing to me where it's like, we think that like we've grown like past this point in, in like, humanity where we're not, you know, we've evolved and we're not, like, beheading people and stoning them to death. but like we're at this other weird dark place.

People like the spectacle. Where it's they want to see you literally lose everything you have and they want to see you homeless. Like they what that like I feel like that was that was what people wanted. They wanted to see Stasi lost her house. Stasi's husband divorced her. Stasi had nothing left. Like and then they'd be like, okay, fine, then she's canceled. But if they see a return, if they see a book come out two years later, they're like, see,

cancel culture really isn't a thing. it's not a thing. So the trolls feel like, like, like what happens. They want to see you destitute. Yes. It's such a,

it's just a bizarre, weird world that we're living in right now. Always like people, yeah, they like, people, you say it like people, they root,

root for you until you've surpassed. No, no, there's a fine line between someone who is a huge fan and obsessed with you and someone who fucking hates you.

There's a very fine line. And if you take that obsessed person and it crosses that line. It's the most vicious kind, the ones that liked you first. Yeah. This is what I've seen from group think in my own, like, in my own scientific. What is group think? Oh, my God. Do you have an hour? What is group think? What is group think is basically like what happened to you? Okay. I didn't know that that was a new term. Well, at a high level, I think group think is when you find yourself talking about. thinking about and doing things that you wouldn't ordinarily do on your own because the group is doing it.

Okay. Right? And so it's like it's like constantly going with the status quo. Yes. A giant group of people all of a sudden they'd probably, you know, like let's just take you, for example. People like you, they're a fan of you, but they're not like thinking about you all day long. Maybe there's some people are, but like the high majority of people. I mean, I don't really like think anyone's thinking about me.

Sure. But all of a sudden. My daughter isn't even thinking about me all day long. But all of a sudden the group is thinking about you. So now everybody's thinking about you. Right. Everybody's aligning. And it's like they wouldn't normally spend their days doing that, but because everybody else has told them it's important, they jump on.

Yes. Like Facebook groups. Totally. Facebook groups are so scary unless you find like a good safe one. I have a good safe one. You do? I wrote about it in this book. Like it is, it was my podcast Facebook group.

And they're so nice there. Everybody's so nice. Like it is like a, it's a safe space for me to go and like connect with my. like original listeners and I never feel like truly exposed, except for when I was when I was canceled and all of that went down, I was too scared to go and say something because you never know who's in there just lurking and screenshoting and then they're just going to go post it on other things.

But I bet you also didn't have the capacity. No, that too. I mean, it wasn't the best of times. I mean, it wasn't the best of times, but I don't want to paint this as like, poor me. You know, like, I'm a victim and this, like, really sucked because I did the things that got me to what happened. Like, I can only, like, account for myself. And I did those things.

Now, I'm not the one who can judge if the punishment fit the crime. Who's the one to judge that? Who's the one to judge that? I mean, I will say that I don't think, I think it was out of control. I think it's gossip by celebs. Is that an account? I think it's them. I mean, is that an account?

Like, I just will put my opinion. I think it was out of control. I think anyone that thinks it's okay to completely tear someone's life apart on the internet is an angry, bitter person. Like, there are ways for people to have redemption and to be more graceful. And there was ways to handle things more graceful. When you were in the depths of this, were there anything that surprised you that was positive?

Like, were there any people or groups or, or, maybe even producers that you were just like, oh, yeah. No, actually, you just sparked something when you said that. My, yes, like I found front. I never would have thought if you would have told me that like the producers and like the production people who work on Vanderpump rules that like their job is to meddle with my life and make me look a little crazy. I would never have thought that they would be a group of people that I would have become

so much closer with once it happened. Like they've now, like, they stepped up as friends and that has meant so much to me. Like that to me was shocking. They could have easily just been like, oh, well, you're done. Like, you got fired from VaynerPumper, so it's like, you're done. But instead, they became friends and checked in on me more than most people. And that has just been like, well, that's lovely because I loved you guys so much and it makes me feel so great to know that, you know, they felt the same. Also, low seems pretty right or die. I don't know.

Low is, I wouldn't have been able to do 99.8% of anything that I have done or built in the last two years if I didn't have low. Like, we're constantly trying to be, I'm like, you're not my assistant. What can we call you? I hate the word assistant.

It sounds douchey. A moat. She's a moat. That just is not cute sounding. But like you're a moat. Like you're the alligators that are around like, keeping people out of her energy.

That is a bit period PC of you. I know that is period. PC reference. I knew you were going to say that. That is period of PC. I'm down with that. I mean, right now we, Ridgerton.

We've settled on like C.O. Low. Like C.O. Because she does so much. No, because, I mean, people could have quit and like you really, it seems like you really stepped into your role. Yeah. I think that's cool.

Yeah. Well, okay. So in the book, one of the most disturbing things that I read was when you talk about And I don't know if it's because we have similar jobs in some ways, but you talk about the trajectory of the canceling. Like you say, you say first it was the, and I might be saying this wrong, but first it was the podcast sponsors, then it was, then it was like the big overall brands. Then it was the canceling of the show. Can you talk about that trajectory and what that looked like for people that are unfamiliar? Yeah.

Well, I mean, I get into it like in detail in my book, but basically I describe it as like, instead of that, of like the universe was like created in a week. It was like destruction. It was like the opposite. Because this was based really over the course of a week. And of course the first day I lost sponsors. But like I've been through this before. I'm like I expected that. I understand like that like didn't break my spirit. I was like I get it. I 100% get it. What really started this chain reaction was that my PR publicly dropped me, which doesn't ever happen really. Like that's not. something that like they're supposed to be the last one standing with you and if they do drop you or decide to part ways it's literally the opposite of their job to promote that and and to make that

information public and so that was so shocking and it was like a save their own ass type thing truly yeah and like that was really shocking in the industry at that time so then variety and deadline and like, you know, credible good news outlets were writing a story on it that, well, her PR dropped her. Like, what the holy shit? And then because of that, my agents then get a call from Variety and they get a call from, you know, deadline. And they're like, where do you stand on this?

Are you still keeping her? And so there was, I guess, like a full eight-hour day of a bunch of men or I don't know in a boardroom that my agents weren't included in deciding whether to drop me or not. And my agents called me later on that day. And I'll never forget it because I was like, oh, rosatheed and like psoriasist out, no makeup, pregnant, just like dealing with the fact that my PR dropped me. And I was like, she called and she pha-times me. And she's like, how are you doing? And I was like, honestly, I'm fine because like, I know that I have you guys. And she started crying. And I was like, why are you, why are you crying right now?

And she's like, because the variety is about to release an article and the board had to make a decision. And we all fought for you so like hard when we heard this was happening. But we weren't allowed to make that decision. And so UTA is having to let you go. And I was, Lowe was over. And I like came up like sobbing like through myself in like those arms. And I was like, well, I'm sorry.

You have to like, I need to, I need to, I need to fall apart right here. Like, I need to fall apart. And again, I, I'm scared of coming off sounding like a victim because, like, that's not the point of this book. And I feel so much stronger now. But it was a very, very, very fucking hard day to then be like, okay, so my whole team is, is, is wiped out. I don't even know who to call for like, how do I get like one of my contracts? Like, how do I know if I got paid for this? Like, how do I know who can I contact right now?

Like, I don't know what to do. And then after that, it was Bravo, who then fired me and Kristen and some other people from Maripump Rules. I woke up to that information. And then the following day, my podcast was just like taken off the podcast app. And I'm like, what the fuck? Hey, how does that happen, by the way? Like, how are they able to do that legally?

Well, so they had, they end up giving them back to me, like the episode. because I own the episodes, but I don't know how they were able to just like wipe it from the podcast app. And at that point, I did not give a fuck because I was spiraling. Who's they? Apple? The, like, yeah. Yeah. So you were on a network and the network did that to you.

Yes. Seems a little bit of a shady network. I mean, they were all, everything was just like crumbling one by one. And then the day after that, my venues, like my touring venues. you started to be like, well, obviously we can't have this person. So we're canceling her tour. And then after that, my last like shred of of hope was I had sold Next Level Basic my first book to Sony to be made into an animated series. And I was like, I had thought like, this is it. Like this is what I'm destined for. I want to be in a writer's room. I want to create something.

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Do you like just talk to your husband? Like, what do you even do? It was a lot of talking to Bo, talking to Lowe, talking to friends. But also, I'm not really like an advice seeker because I've realized, especially over the last two years, everyone wanted to give me advice. Everyone was calling me wanting to give me advice. Everyone was saying something different. Everyone thinks they know what you're supposed to do.

You know, a lot of people are like, carry on just like you normally would. Keep putting podcasts out there. You can do it. And I'm like, I know I can do it. But like that doesn't feel like the move. Sometimes I, and I talk about this all the time on this podcast, the most strategic thing to do is nothing. And that's really, that's what my hardest. That is what my intuition was telling me.

my gut was telling me. I'm like, I'm pregnant. This major thing just happened to me. I need to also educate myself a little more, understand what's going on a little more, and just take a time out. Like, take a really long time out and figure it out. Like there's, there's, there's, I know that in our industry, it's like you constantly feel like you need to be working, doing something else, creating something else. But the best thing that I did for myself was literally nothing. That's really hard, though, like you just said, for people to understand because we're so, our whole, like, sort of world right now is based on presence.

But I find that absence is just as important. And I think that that conversation needs to be had more, like, whether you need a weekend off of Instagram stories or maybe you need a week or whatever, like, even with maternity leave, this one, it's like being absent is okay. It is a hard thing to to digest, though, because I mean, I will say, of course I worried all the time,

like, life's just passing me by. Like, I'm not on social media. Like, I'm not anywhere. No one's hearing from me. I'm just going to be forgotten. Like, I'm so used to constantly thinking that I have to come up with the next thing. I have to, like, keep working, keep moving.

And to just not be out there, I was totally afraid that I would just be forgotten. But look what happened from nothing. you have this, you come out with this book, you're able to go on a book tour, like you're, you're owning the narrative of your life. So it really did serve you. It's just so crazy. I think also even this is so weird, but when you're dating someone, absence is just as important as presence. And like if you can't understand that. Yeah. Sometimes just doing nothing is like people, it's, it makes mystery. Yes, it definitely does. Underrated. 100% underrated. So,

So now. That's my goal, Lauren. I just want to like go do nothing for like 25 years and then come back. No, that's how I got you. Mystery. I walked away for like 12 years and left you to think about it. She did nothing. I thought about you every day.

For 12 years. I just did nothing. Straight. I just sat. I just sat out by my window. It's easy to do nothing. It's not easy and it's easy. So now that you're here and you have this book, what has you said you feel liberated.

How has that been like? Everything's in this book. If someone asks you any questions, you can be like, go read off with my head. Yeah. It's just like a feeling of, I hate to say like, I don't care. But I'm like, if somebody comes at me, I don't care. If there's a negative headline, I don't care. Like you guys, I have put every, there is no better job I could have done on this book.

And there is nothing I could have done better over the last two years than the path I decided to choose. that I stand by every decision I made in everything I've written and every moment of silence. Like I stand by all of it. I could not have done. I don't look back and be like, I wish I would have done this. I think I did everything right by my intuition and my soul. So it just feels like, come for me.

Please come for me. Like I've been there. Also, it seems like your community is really rallied around you. Yeah. that I didn't expect. I mean, I obviously like expected, you know, some of my, my, my followers, like my Caleces as I used to call them, like, when I had my podcast. Like, I expected that. But I've been really overwhelmed by just the level of support. It's, it's been like, it's been very nice. Like, really nice. People love a redemption story more than, I think, a tear-down story, too. I think

people forget that. Like, that's why all the movies you watch love is like the redemption. people would try and tell me that during the last two years like people love a comeback and like easy to tell me when you're not in that situation like but do they love a comeback that much I mean at this point I feel I feel comfortable I feel like enough people like a comeback well let's be honest I mean like and I meant okay so now back to the orange juice I remember when that happened I remember thinking because Lauren had just had a baby and I remember the fragile state that she was in towards and I was like fragile is an undersea no but I don't know but I don't know I don't know I don't know but I don't know I mean, like, I think this is for all women that are going through childbirth and being pregnant. It's like, this all happened while you were pregnant, right? And I remember thinking, like, that's so fucking heavy. Well, I think the worst part of it, and like it, the worst part when I talk about the seven days was that on the last day, I found out my, I woke up to messages saying that my pregnancy was leaked. And I wasn't even 10 weeks yet. And so that was when I like, really.

But how did we know? We knew somehow. how we knew. Maybe one of my friends somebody told you or something like that that's fine but like that was that was the hardest part because you don't know if I hadn't even gone

to like you don't know if you're going to hold the baby you're 10 weeks pregnant I didn't know that but we knew she was pregnant I remember because I remember thinking that I'd been like oh that's really intense 10 weeks I knew you were pregnant 10 weeks so early to have that leaked yes and the hardest part though also it's just that people thought that I was leaking it to spin the narrative.

Oh my God. And I'm like, I can't say. And I couldn't say anything. To get sympathy. To get sympathy. And I couldn't say anything because if I commented on that, then I need to be commenting on everything else. And so I just felt like I don't, I can't have a voice right now.

And I just have to let people think that I just went to us weekly for a pregnancy. announcement. Like it was that was that was rough because I like so desperately wanted to just like shout from the rooftops that like this was taken from me. And and now that it's taken, you think that it's something that I've done on top of that. Like you think that I, I, I mean, I had people like DMing me being like she just got pregnant just now in order to make herself look sympathetic. And I'm like, I've been I've been pregnant for for 10 weeks. Like you can't Just get pregnant. Whoever leaked that is, that's dark.

Yes. That's fucked. Whoever did that. Like that person should really, really take a long, hard look in the mirror. Well, the reason I thought about is to your point, I'm like, that's so early in the pregnancy where there's still, you know, you're going to be careful, right? And like, then you're going through probably one of the more, you know, tough times of your life. And you're probably thinking like, oh, I got this new kid coming in the world,

never had one before. Losing sponsors, losing jobs, losing podcasts. How am I going to support? Like all of these is probably showing. I just bought a house. Beau agreed like right before COVID that he would, you know, stop casting for a while and come with me on tour. And like we would just focus on my career as a couple and be together. And it was literally like, is this? Is this for real? Like, is this for real? Like, how are we going to support ourselves? Like, what, what are we going to do? Like, he just gave up so much

to be working on my dreams. And then, then my dreams just got crushed. So it was a, it was a really challenging time to try and figure out like, all right, let's start over. Let's figure out how to, how to be resourceful, like how to build something else, like how to just pivot and without compromising our relationship and just completely falling apart as a couple, like during a pandemic. So like, no big deal. I'm a queen. The reason I'm saying this stuff and maybe coming off more sympathetic

was for an assortment of reasons, but I think we lose more as a culture and a society by coming at people from this place of hate. Like nobody benefits from this, right? Like you may tear down someone instantly and feel a little bit of instant gratification from hurting somebody else, but like everybody else loses

because you just get to a worse place, right? Right. That's kind of why you see the state of the world and the way it is. Like everyone's just attacking, attacking, attacking, right? No, it's like terrifying. Yeah, and there's no place to educate or teach future generations.

generations from a place of empathy or love. It's just like constantly. Let me show you an example of how to ruin someone's life. If I was you, I would have put my phone on airplane mode or turned it off. Is that what you did? I would just turn it off quite a few times. I wouldn't want to look at anything. I mean, I never went on social media. I went on Pinterest. Oh, you write about that in the book. He said you went on Pinterest a lot. And I would literally look at like holiday decorations and baking. Like, that was it. That was my only safe space for social media. So, yeah. And Bridgington. How do you say it? Bridgerton. Bridgerton.

So Bridgerton is actually like a really bright light in your life because that was probably something that you turned to as a pier. And Outlander. Outlander too. I write about this. Like I literally just decided to zone out. Do nothing. Focus on what makes me feel happy and healthy.

And I just watched Outlander for like a whole summer long and bought Halloween and Christmas decorations seven months prior to the actual holidays. I baked 24-7. Put Christmas music on all year long. I played, oh, no, yes. That was a major thing. I learned how to make a fucking Yule log, and I was great at it. Like, I mean, I just did nothing.

So, yes, Bridgeton was a bright light. When did you decide to do the good, the bad, and the baby? Like, how did that... Bouged, baby? The good, the bad, the baby. That is our podcast on Patreon. Yeah. Bo's handle, but he's not wrong.

The good, the bad. The bogey is Bo's Instagram. Yeah, that's his Instagram. Yeah, that's his Instagram. Get it right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So when did that idea sort of conceptualize, like how is that been going? It's your own narrative. You control it, which is amazing. Well, it's funny how it started because it was like I am somebody who's my self-esteem has always been tied up in like how much I'm working. Like if I'm busy and working and accomplishing and doing and getting like, then I feel good about myself. So then when I wasn't given the opportunity to work, I, my, obviously, how I, how I, how

I felt about myself was like truly crumbling. So I'm like, I had many conversations with Lowe, with Bo. And I was like, Bo, I'm going to be Chris Jenner and I'm just going to create a podcast for you that I'm going to run. And I'm going to, I'm coming up with all these ideas about what you could do, what you could do, what you could do. And we just started building this thing for, poor Bo, for, for, for, for, for Bo. And then finally, and this was like only like a couple months after. everything went down when I finally just went stir crazy, like not accomplishing or working on anything besides, you know, fun fetti cupcakes. And then after like months of like, you know, trying to create something for with him for him where he would be like the, the talent. I'm like,

who the fuck am I kidding? Like I love to podcast. I miss this. Like this is what like I love having conversations. Like, sorry, Bo, but we are a team. And, That's when we just decided to do that. And Patreon, it felt like a safe place to where if you want to listen to it, you have to pay for it. So it's not like an easy place for trolls to access. No one wants to pay me. Trolls don't want to put anything in my pocket. Or do they?

Are they the ones that are doing half? I don't know. You never know. But I've-in-line. I felt safe being there. I'm just kidding. I don't know. Now they're going to be a man.

Wait. So when someone goes on. to listen to you guys, what can they expect to get here? That's different. Well, it's basically like an audio reality show. It's just talking about our lives, our experiences. I'm so used to living my life out there and having people see what my life is like that I'm like, why don't we just talk about it? Like every week, like what the theme of our week was, what issues we're having or what parenting issues we're having. Or I don't know. This was actually a really slow week. So let me just talk about Kim Kardashian right now because this went down. It's, it's my way of just

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She goes, Stasi is amazing reality TV. Are you consuming that? Or do you not even let it enter your ether? Are you just overhearing about it? Well, I didn't know that. That's nice of her to say. I go through phases. Are you at least on good terms?

Yeah. Like, every time I've run into her and seen her, it's like been a very lovely conversation. And everything that I see that she's been putting out there are things like that. Because you guys are pretty close, you know? I mean, as close as a boss can be, with, you know, someone. Like, we don't ever, we've never been like calling each other and texting each other.

That's like never been our dynamic anyway. It's more of just a, if I run into her, it's a nice experience and I enjoy running into her, but that's pretty much it. Okay. Well, that's something. Yeah. So you look at it or you don't look at it or you both? It's both.

And then I go through phases of do I feel like being masochistic and torturing myself right now or did I learn better? It truly like every week is different. Like I can't say that I lean one way or the other. I do know when to not read like the full article. Like I sometimes I'm curious just to see like what a headline, what the headlines are. Because I need to know am I being canceled all over again? Like is that going to happen?

Like I have to like be somewhat aware of what people are saying because look what happened before. You almost have like post-traumatic stress. Lowe says that. And there are things that have happened that like have majorly triggered it. Like someone had leaked on Google. Like literally when you Googled my name, it said off with my head that I was putting out a book. And the blurb was horrible. Like I would never approve or allow this blurb to be out there.

And I have planned this book release. The timing everything. I've taken it so seriously that it was, I was definitely. devastated in October when it like got out there on the internet. And we had all of these like these last minute, these zoom meetings, these 911 Zoom meetings that I just, I sobbed through them, yelled at my publishers, slammed my computer like I was this hormonal psychopath. Like, and I was like that, I think was like your first taste of like PTSD of being like, oh my God, things around me are this is reminding me of when something was taken from me again. And again, and again, when I was canceled, I did those things that people were mad at me for. So like to say something was taken from me, I don't know if that's, that's fair. Like, whatever. But this reminded me that experience, like the thought that people could just come out and make

the narrative about my life, whatever it was. Like, I don't know if I'm explaining myself properly. I don't think anyone's debating that you had maybe done something that you weren't so proud of or that might have be considered wrong. I don't think it was debating that. I think the question is, does the punishment fit the crime? Yeah, and I'm not the one and I can't be the one to answer that. Like, and that had to come to peace with that and focus on the good that the canceling brought me. Yeah, I think like to be clear, like, I think there's a place to hold people accountable as you make mistakes. But I think what I disagree with the most and why I push against cancel culture, if you call it that, is because I don't think that this.

type of holding someone accountable is actually productive for future generations or even for the current generations. No. And I will tell you, it makes it way harder to actually do the work to be better. It makes because there was, like, why the fuck am I going to do this? Like, fuck you. Yeah. The first month after everything happened, I was angry. Of course, I was angry. I was upset. I'm like, fuck this. I don't want, like, I don't want to be a part of this. I don't want to learn. I don't want to, I'm angry. What's like, if you ever seen like you discipline a kid and you go in there, like, I'm going to take, take, take, take, take. I'm just going to take, take, take, and you're going to go sit in the corner and everyone's going to, and everyone in the classroom is going to

be mean to you. That would be the worst way to teach a child something, right? Correct. Because they would just get resentful and hateful and angry and they would want to go completely against how you would want them to behave. Exactly. And so that is how I felt for a good few weeks or a month after everything happened. And then I finally had to, on my own, get to the point where I was like, I actually really

want to be better. This is actually important to me. I want to educate myself on this. I want to learn why this was wrong and how I could be better at certain things. The canceling made it harder for me to get there because I was so resentful at first. But you say in the book, which I found so interesting, as you said, you were doing like a Friday Zoom, learning about everything and having education around everything that went on. And you said you started to almost look forward to it.

Yes, because honestly, I think that's just because my teacher was so nice. She's just a really lovely woman that made me feel safe. because I was so scared to start working with a diversity coach because I thought it was going to just be this, somebody who was just judging me and what if I said the wrong thing and what if I asked the wrong question and May is her name, May started every session with being like, you are going to ask the wrong questions and you're going to say the wrong things and you are going to continue to long after we have these classes and these lessons like you will all. always fuck up. And that just made me feel like, that made me feel free just to like, okay,

like this is a safe space for me to fucking learn. And then to like, after every session to be like, wow, like I'm, I'm not let like I didn't let everybody win. Like I'm sitting here and like, I am actually doing the work. When people are saying they're doing the work by by calling other people out on Twitter, like they're standing up for what they believe in. So, They think they're doing the work? No, no. Like, I'm sitting here and I am doing the work. And that felt like something that made me proud to like one day explain to my kid. You know, like, you said your kid saved you. 100%. And at what point in the pregnancy did you start to feel better? And did you start to feel like, oh my God, I'm building a human. I'm going to have this new life, this new energy.

I was telling someone the other day, I wasn't a baby person until I had a baby. And I realized the reason I wasn't a baby person is because I didn't get it. What it is is when you have this new baby, it's pure, unaffected energy. And there's something about having that pureness that's so attractive. When you have that and all this stuff just seems to fall to the waistline, I feel like we're the waist side. Like you're just like you have like a pure energy in front of you. concentrate on something that's so positive. Yes.

Well, that happened. I will say early on in my pregnancy. Like as much as I had my moments where I was devastated and depressed and sobbing and and crying and having those low days. For the most part, I was so fucking excited about becoming a mom that I was very much able to remain a happy person. Like I was, I, a lot of. people were checking in on me and just thinking that I was like on the ledge about to jump.

And I'm like, I'm actually, I'm fine. Like, I'm pregnant. What a fucking gift. And I'm in this house. And I have this husband that is so fucking supportive. Life is actually good when you think about it. And that just, Harvard was it. Like that I don't know that I would have been able to remain a stable normal person if I hadn't been

pregnant. I know I would have been like Xanax, alcohol, whatever other pill you'll prescribe me. Like I would have, I say dark passengered everyone in my life and just like really just been an unhealthy person. And it's like Hartford was supposed to be there for this to happen. Speaking to people checking in on you, it sounds like for your cast, it sounds like Katie's one of your true friends. Yes. Yes, she is my baby's godmother too. But for everybody else was people How did they respond to all of this? Because they're obviously a part of this. Yeah.

I mean, most of, I mean, everyone was pretty supportive. Like the cast members that I'm friends with were, or they like, oh shit, like kryptonite.

I don't like to be careful here. I mean, no, no one was really like that. What did they rhyme with that? What did they rhyme with it? No one was like that. No one was like that because everyone was there for what,

like, they witnessed. They were apart. Lots of other people were a part of what went down. Well, they're probably like, oh shit, look what can happen.

But there was, what's the word? What's the word? There were more people involved in the incidents that I was fired for. What's that word, though? There's a word. Corporate? No, like they were conspiring. There's like a word.

An accessory? Yeah, like there's accessories. There's accessories. I love accessories. Yeah. So, and Kristen and I, obviously, we were not going to take people down with us. So we were like, lucky you guys, those of you that, that didn't. didn't get called out for this. And so everyone was pretty, pretty kind because they, I think they were

feeling lucky that they still had a job. I have so many questions to ask you from the audience that have nothing to do with this subject. And the first one that I'll ask, because I'm curious, is what your day to day is like now. Oh, it's very boring. That's okay. It's very boring. That's okay that we want to hear that. I feel like we saw you on banner pump rules. You've transitioned into a mother. Like, you're running a business. Like, what's your day? Like now? Okay. So an average day, I have the morning shift. So I wake up with Hartford at like seven, maybe 7.30, maybe 630. And we play. And I check emails and put on fucking tangled or trolls and check some more emails. Then Bo wakes up and he makes her breakfast. Bo does the like feeding because I'm a horrible cook. So he does breakfast. Then one of us puts her down. for a nap after playing some more. And that's when we like do like podcast stuff, work stuff, whatever we need to do while

she's napping. And then she wakes up and we either like go have some fun and take her to the park or something throughout the afternoon. And then come back and Bo makes dinner and we give her a bath. And after she goes down for bed, we like go up to the kitchen and have like alone time to like eat dinner and drink wine and decide if we're going to watch a show together or separately. And that is pretty much my average day. It's kind of nice, though, to have the simplicity when your life has been so chaotic. Yes, it has been. And especially since like going on the book tour and like feeling

like my old self again, it's, I'm, I'm really liking the juxtaposition, you know, like I'm not committed to like one lifestyle just yet. I'm like, I feel like I'm leading like a double life. So it's either like really boring and mundane and simple but lovely or like things like this now going on with this book where it's like there's a lot. That's how we are. Hey, why do you think I love Austin? I look like Schmeagle from Lord of the Rings when I'm in Austin. I look so disgusting. My like toenails aren't painted.

My hair is not done. I had not washed my hair in two and a half weeks. That's glorious. And then I'll come to L.A. And it's like going through a goddamn car wash. You know what she said today? getting like my fucking rims like washed and like the

pulled and poked and prodded and then it's like a whole like different life. You know she said today she goes don't worry she goes nobody sees me in awesome so I don't care I don't care like I don't know like you married a Gemini I love the just position of what you just said you have to have the recharge time

to be on I talk about this a lot I've always talked about this a lot like while I might seem extroverted I am not whatsoever. And I truly need a simple, happy home life and alone time and just time with my husband and my baby very often. Like, not like, oh, I get this once or twice a week. Like, I need it often in order to like feel healthy and emotionally well. I totally agree with you. I'm going to read some of the audience's questions. And you can answer them quick. Okay. Okay.

I feel like you kind of already answered this, but you can say maybe, maybe. Would you ever be on reality TV again? I am wearing a ponytail. It is snatching my face. I love a ponytail. But the thing with the ponytail is you got to find the right extensions. And these ones are BFB hair. They have the widest range of product offerings. They have a shade that is ideal for you. I laid them out today in front of my hairstylist, and she was flipping out. She could not believe how well they matched my color. I'm telling you guys, their clip and hair extensions are insane. They have the classic for length, which is the one that I got, and then I like to cut it how I want it. They also have the fill-ins for volume, so if you just want a little zh, and then they have the ups for up-dus. So you can pick whatever you

want, and you should know the ups are amazing for ponytails or just throwing your hair up, like, for a wedding. They have 28 shades and they actually have a team of experts ready to help you with your shade and product selection. That's what I did. I used their team to match my hair exact. We were freaking out over not only how well they were matched, but the quality, the comfort. They're not hurting my head right now, which is a big one. And let me tell you, I've tried a lot of extensions. These are the ones that I would recommend. I am a huge fan. Follow them on Instagram for tutorials, hair hacks and inspiration. It's at BFB hair. I'm telling you if you go to their Instagram, you'll see exactly what to do. The move is clip and extensions, by the way. Like, don't try anything

else other than them. I've tried everything. Let me be the guinea pig. All skinny confidential him and her listeners get 15% off all hair products using code Skinny 15 at checkout. They rarely have discount codes or sales. So this is an exclusive discount for you. You guys want to take advantage of this, especially if you're a clip-in hair extension fan like me. That's Skinny 15 for 15% off at checkout. Enjoy your new hair. Yes, if I was an executive producer, if I was, if I was in charge of what goes out, I'm not, I've had a lot of time, again, like I've said, I've had a lot of time to think about this. And I have a kid now. And I think if you would have asked me this even when she was a newborn, I've been like, yeah, I'll go back on Rihanna TV. Like,

Hartford just would, like, this is what her life will be. But now that she's, a toddler, there is literally no way I would let someone who doesn't know me or her produce and edit her and put her out without me or Bo's approval of what goes out. I think that's a very rational thing to say. We get that. So there's that. Vanderpump Valley. I mean, it's obviously like not, I write about it.

So like that was a, would you ever consider that? have to be an EP. Will I be in charge? Well, okay. I like, hey, I'm all about that. Like, I would, I would never do a reality show either unless I had EP. So I completely agree with you. Which Van Rump Rules castmate would ruin the fun of the filming the most?

Jacks, honestly. I knew you were going to say that. Yeah. Yeah, he was, he was hard to work with. But also, fun and unhinged. Just a, but like, unhinged can be fun. You know what I mean? It's entertaining.

but he would try and like cancel scenes and ruin them for other people. Like he'd be like no one wants to go to your party. Like literally no one trying to. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a scene that we're all scheduled to be in just because you don't want to go to. He made working difficult. Taylor, sometimes you remind me of Jacks. Like, and I mean that in a nice way, but Taylor.

Oh my God, I thought you were just saying that to me. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. Taylor, our producer, behind me. he sometimes are you a pain in the butt Are you Self awareness is a little bit off toward

Are you and Kristen and Katie's still As good as friends As you used to be No I mean Katie like I said Is my baby's godmother

Like I'm She's one of my closest friends And I'm friends with Kristen But it's not the same My life is also It's just we're all going In different directions And our lives

Are so different And I don't have time for to just like be a witch of wheel. No, I think that also it's so important to acknowledge that friendships go through different seasons. Totally. 100%. Like this high maintenance friendships that they're going to be the same.

Thank you. No, I'm writing a book on it. I swear, I can't. Please, because this needs to be talked about more. Oh, I think that low maintenance friends are the best. And I just feel like your friends should match your. level of what it is, like if you're a good friend. So when somebody's like extra needier, like needs me to text them every day or hang out all the time, I'm like this. No, no, no. I'm a low

maintenance friend. I never call you. I never text you. Like if like that's what I need from you. It should be. Just be my friend, but let's not talk. The way I think about is it it should be effortless and a real pleasure anytime you're connecting. Yes. But I'm going to tell, I'm going to do a public service announcement. If I am with dinner, if I'm going to dinner with you and we're sitting at dinner and you're planning the next dinner, I'm going to off myself. I can't. I, we're at dinner right now. Totally. Like I can't. Oh, when they're doing like the advanced reservation. Or like when we're having a drink and we're like, well, when should we do the next drink? Like I don't have the capacity to wash my hair. I haven't washed my hair in two and a half weeks.

I, you take on what you can take on. Sometimes it takes me a month to text people back. I know, I know, because I text you sometimes. But I know. But I know that. Like I've, and I appreciate that about you because I'm the same way. And I wish more people appreciated that about me. I do what you can do. And especially now that you have kids. Like, like, I just voiced it in my friend today. And I was like, listen, like, I'm so uncomfortable right now. Like, I only can focus on like, I know this sounds weird. Work and growing a baby and taking care of a kid. Yes. It's enough. And like, I'll blow you once in a while. Like, that's enough for me. Don't forget that. Maybe put that at the top of the list. No one wants to have sex with me right now. With these horrible smells.

Maybe not true. Everyone I just have to say this is saying how much they love you in these questions. So there's a lot of very, very, very nice. Okay. This is going to come out after your wedding. So can we talk about your wedding? Yeah. I mean, I'll talk about it anyway.

Talk about your wedding. Tell us all about your wedding. Well, it was what's in Rome. The location that we have, well, we, it was supposed to be on Vayner Pump Rules. That was, so it was going to be a film wedding. yes, that we could not get out of. So like when we went to wedding to look at venues back in 2019, one of our producers came with us to Rome,

and this was going to be like the bridge to like a Valley Rules-e kind of spin-off, like where the OG cast members would like kind of go off into their own show and Banner Pump Rules could stay like at the restaurant with new people. And so our wedding was going to be part of that bridge to these two shows. And so we had to have a producer come with us to scout locations because wherever we picked to get married, hotel rehearsal dinner had you have to get the rights to film there. So like I couldn't just go wedding plan myself with Bo. So we found our venue, got locked in. We found our rehearsal dinner venue, got locked in, found the hotel.

Then everything went down where I was fired and we were still locked in. so they wouldn't let us get out of these venues. But did the show lock it in? Or did you personally lock it? I did because I'm like, we're like the venues wouldn't let you go off. Yeah, like Bravo didn't pay for the shit. Like we paid for the shit.

And the venues didn't let us get out of it. So Bo and I had to make talk about this for what felt like 89 years and was like, do we want to just eat this money and let it go? Or like, do we want to reimagine what this wedding will look like and like still do it? And I'm like, let's fucking still do it. And let's do back to back. let's do my book this week and let's get married right after. So it is just a great diet. Let's just fucking go and live our best lives for a good month. Good for you. And cut 70% of the

guest list because it's too expensive. So now it is a 35 person wedding in Rome, like in a location that's meant for like a shit ton of people. How many people from the cast are being invited? I will say that only a few are coming. So were you? you cut throat about the list with the cast. Yeah. I mean, but they love a cutthroat wedding. We had 45 people.

You, I actually, when I was doing the cutting, I remember when you did my podcast. 55. And you had told me that. We invited 55. You said it was the best decision that you ever made.

And I kept thinking back on that. And I was like, no, I can do this. And honestly, everyone's been pretty understanding because we sent out an email being like, yo,

times are tough. I can't, we can't have like a 200 person wedding. So like, this doesn't mean we don't like you, but you're not part of my 35 top people. Well, you know what, like also, I mean, I think

about it two ways. Like, a lot of people don't even want them, like, go to weddings, right? Yeah, I'm releasing you. I am releasing you of having to fly all the way to roam, spend all this money. Like, you're welcome for being uninvited. And then for you and Bo, it's like, you don't want to spend the whole time glad-hanting a bunch of people.

Absolutely not. We want to be able to like... Sally's cousin that you haven't seen in 18 years. Here's what I made the decision to have a small wedding and you'll relate to this. I did a book launch, like when I first started blogging, it was like, three years in. And in the book launch, there was like 500 people. And I remember at the end of it, I couldn't even enjoy one second. And not only that, I couldn't remember one second. Because I was constantly being stimulated. And I was constantly being thrown out. And feeling like you have to

make sure everyone feels like, it's exhausted. Yeah. So that was like, I want like, I don't want to do this at my wedding. Like, I want people to be so confident and comfortable with our relationship that I don't need to like hold their hand. Yeah. For three days. You'll love it. Well, so that is what I'm hoping. this is 35 people that like I love the most just fucking hanging out in Rome. That's how it kind of like should be right. That's the plan. And then the second week you guys are, is it a honeymoon? I mean, is it a honeymoon when your baby's there? Can we call that a honeymoon? Can you stick it in in the bathroom in two minutes? I feel like we're really good at like timing when to like when to do it. And honestly, that's that's on me because I told tell him that like, I'm

sorry, I can't have sex at night. It's just like a thing. Like you're talking. You're I'm exhausted. I don't feel hot. I don't like none of that stuff. Like I also like I want to have like a glass of wine at night. Like I don't want to worry about blowing. Yes. And I like sober sex. So like I plan certain days. Like he doesn't know that I'm planning it. But like I know that like on this day and on this day during her nap I will initiate this. Yeah. And um, getting this. Are you getting tips here? I have a different strategy than that. I like the strategy. We all have. We all. We all. have our own, our own... What's great about this is you can add additional strategies. My strategy is I always rally. Yeah, I know. I always rally. Do you really?

Always. I'll rally anytime. Wait, that is, I don't want Bo to hear this because like Bo now knows not to even like kind of like initiate anymore because just let me initiate when I'm, when I'm horny. That is true. And all the years I've known, Lauren, there's, I have never been denied. Maybe once. I'm trying to be like, no, but...

I am like a shook. Maybe once. You? We've known each other. But also, I'm not like a prick about it. Like if I'm like, okay, she's not, she's not into it right now. She's not in the moment. Then I won't do that.

But like if. But I've also been married longer. And I think when you've been married longer, like you like, yeah, like you rally. Like you just, right now like you're at a sweet spot where you can do that like your strategic like days. I think it's fine. Oh, you guys. I'm horrible.

Yeah. My stepmom. I complained to her. I complained to her once when I was 21. I was bartending like so long. And I was just working. working and I called her and I'm like, oh, he wants to have sex again. I'm like, I'm so tired.

Like, I just can't have sex at one in the morning. And she goes, I thought she was going to be like, oh, it's okay. Like, just do it when you want to do it. And she was like, no, you rally. And she's been married to my dad for like 50 years. Thank you, Julie. Oh, man. I need to get my shit together.

Just give him a blowjob. But I do these things on my time. Okay, okay. I mean, on my time. On my time. Don't tell him to listen to this episode. On my time. Not to make it sound like I'm like...

But he could do it all the time. That's the thing. Like if he, if I said twice a day, he'd be like, fuck yes. I'm living my best life. So like, I just... Well, that's what I'm saying. You gotta not be a dick about it, right? Like, you got to be like, okay.

Like, I could tell like, you know, right now, you know, she's pregnant and she's tired and had a long day. I'm not like, hey, rally. You know what? Like, I kind of read the room. You've learned. Yes, read the room. I did tell you the other day when I came in, I was like, I caught my vagina shaving because I can't see it. And there was blood of me.

No. you came in all dramatic. You're like, I cut my... I don't have to cut this out. You're like, I cut my clitoris off. I'm like, I'm going to cut this out. Just a slice.

It was that area? Oh my gosh. I can't see anything, you guys. What do you want me to do? I cannot see my... Yeah, I cut my clip. We have to edit this. No, we're not cutting it out.

Taylor. Oh my gosh. I thought I was going to slip on it in the shower. Okay, first of all, it's healed. It's not a like he's imagining like a piece. It's a slice. You come in so dramatic. on everything.

I was bleeding. If you said like, hey, I did a little. What are you going to cut my clit? What? I know. You can't be more. If you said I just

nicked myself shaving, that's different. Okay, I nicked my clip. Taylor, do not, this episode be titled, Nicked my clit. Do not fucking cut this,

Taylor. Off with my clip. Off with my clip. What this is going to be called. Taylor, do not cut this out of the episode. I won't. Okay.

So enough about my clit. Yeah. So the week after that you're going to be in Europe. Yeah. You're going to have a half-ass honeymoon. Hartford with you. And I was saying that like it's going to be a little top. Do you take a moment for yourself?

You're making me laugh. It's going to be a little hard. You're going to make it through. But I'm expecting it to be hard. So like that's the thing. You're scaring the shit out of me. No, you'll be fine. Like no.

No. I can see in your eyes like you just have like this panic for me, which is like so like, I don't know like kind of you like to have such empathy for me right now. But like, I see it in your face that you're scared. It's just a lot of work. It's women like mothers and fathers together on a flight for 16 hours or however long it is. It's a lot of work. Like 13, right?

Just bring a lot of toys, a lot of food, a lot of Xanax, a lot of wine. And you'll be okay. I'm so excited, you guys. This is going to be the best trip ever. I mean, download shows. I am, well, that is done. Okay. I am not at a point where I feel comfortable being out.

of the country without her. So like there was no other option. We were the same. Than to have her stay and be with us on this whatever honeymoon. So I've already have it in my head that's like, well, this was the only option. So it's not going to be as fun as what life used to be when we traveled. And we're just going to have to like really like room service a lot of the times. And we're just going to just, I think that we've been also, Bo and I have been down.

and like not in our normal life that we were used to where like we were constantly working and traveling and having fun. This past two years we've been at home. Our lives drastically changed. We haven't, we felt like we were still in a cage. So we're just going to be so fucking happy to be in Europe, to be traveling that like if that means that like I'm just like eating scrambled eggs for dinner on like the bathroom floor at like one in the morning,

like we're going to be so happy just to be there and doing it that like that's why I'm not worried I'll give you like just one piece of advice because it sounds like you like Paris a lot is that what you're going Paris yeah it was one of those places yes it sounds like you're familiar with it so I would just the only advice I would give is to not have the expectation that it's going to be like other times you've been there but that's not a bad thing it's just different because we go back to these places that we love and okay we've scared her and then I'm like no I know I'm not going to like on your avenue I know I'm not going to like the restaurants that I love You can go to La Avenue.

Is it lay or last? I don't know. Okay, I don't know either. It's like one L. Okay, everyone gets madame is pronounced stuff. Okay, you can go there during, like, go right after her nap at lunch. But you know where I would go on the date night when Lowe's there? Oh, please give me.

Ferdie. What is that? Ferdie. Faredi. Let's write that down. I'm telling you, that is the restaurant that I would go to. If I had one restaurant to go to. Have you been to Hotel Costas?

Yes. Yes. That's a good one. Do you like it better than that? I would go to Ferti for. dinner and then I would go, then I would go for drinks or before. Ferides behind cost. And I would make low stage.

Until 4 in the morning. And Bo, does he eat meat? Sorry. Yes, he does. One of the best burgers I'll ever have. Okay. Yeah. So, it's the best.

So I'm just going to have one great night out in Paris with my husband. But that's like the, wouldn't you say to go there? Yeah, but no, but the only thing I'm saying is like we went, the reason I'm telling you this is because we went back last, year around this time and had the expectation that's just to be like how every other time we went. No, she has, she's not like that though. She's, she's really self-aware with it. Yeah. Well, I'm not then. I was like, like, I know I'm not going to be able to do like 98% of what I know. I was surprised every day. I was in my brain because I'm so oblivious. I was like, oh, like, you know, why she naps? We're going to be like. We were surprised every day that it wasn't going the way we thought.

Like, we looked at each other like, what do? Like, we thought someone was punking us. Like, every day. We were like, well, why isn't this? You guys were also still used to traveling and doing things. And so you were used to that. So then all of the sudden it's like, wait, my baby's a little different right now. And this kind of sucks. This vibe is not it. We also went during a weird time. We've not gone anywhere.

So we're just so desperate to just like be with each other in another location. And there's no masks, right? No, I think it's done. No, I think it's done. Amazing. So then you can go there without the mask situation. That was the other thing. We had to wear those the whole time.

If I had to wear a mask throughout Europe, I don't think that we would have. that. I don't know. I mean, I just held my glass of wine in my hand the whole truth. No, it's like with the straws. Like, that's what everybody is. I'm drinking and eating peanuts. Okay. Like, I don't know what to say. Okay. So to end this, what are some bright, happy things that are happening for you right now besides your book? Your book's obviously amazing. I feel like everyone who's listening should buy it. So good. But what else? What can we expect from you? Okay. Well, I will say this. One thing I've learned over the last two years. is to focus on one thing at a time and like really like put my all into that one thing and then move on to the next. And so in my brain, I put everything I had into this book and then now this wedding. And the next step this summer, the focus is like, okay, let's restart my podcast. And so that's where I want to go. And then eventually I can be like, now let's podcast tour again.

Now does somebody want to buy the rights to off with my head so I can produce. that show because I have lots of ideas. So that's where that's where like my vision board is, but I'm taking everything one step at a time. I forgot you were doing those wild tours. Those were intense. So much fun too. I was like a rock. I was like living like a rock star. I was just like, you know, in a tour bus. Just living my best truly in a tour well. Wait, can you have sex in a tour bus? What's up with you in the sex? You can. I just want to know if you can have sex in the bus. Yes. That's a lot. Yes, because we had the back room of the bus. So it was like me and Bo. in the bat. But it's a little bad, right?

Yeah, but like you make shit work. But you have this feel like a tour bus driver? I would rally. Yeah. Yeah, it was fun. So I will say something about podcasting. You were an OG of podcasting before anyone. Years before. I know what? I'm so scared that people will forget that.

And it's just going to look like I'm just like another person coming out with a podcast. And I want to be like, I'm sorry, I was I was here first. But you, I remember you posted like that you have. had a podcast and I didn't even know how to access it. Yeah. Like Brandy Glanville and you were the only ones that had podcasts. What was the motivation early on? Well, I was dating somebody who worked in radio who was like an asshole. But like I was so I was like around that environment and I became best friends with Taylor Strecker through him. So I was constantly around this and Taylor was like, you could do this. And I'm like, I could never like your brain has to go like a million miles an hour. Like look at you. You have to fill up time.

You have to fill up like the space. Like I. I could never do this. And then I was offered an opportunity to do it. And I was like, I might as well just try. Let's give it a whirl. And then I loved it. Also, it's nice that has nothing to do with the way you look. That's my favorite part about it.

Which is unfortunate now because now everyone's filming their podcast. So like we feel like we have to like keep up. And it's like, what? Just wear a funny chill. I thought I could do this podcast in my bathroom with like my psoriasis medicine on my face. Like, what? You can still do that though. I don't think.

I mean, like sometimes the video I agree. It's like, oh, we got to do another thing. It's a lot of work. It's so much work. It's like, I actually won't go there. I'll tell you off there. All right. So where can everyone find you?

Pimp yourself out, your book, everything. God, I know. Oh, my God. Like, I don't even remember how to sell myself. I think I'm at Stasi Schroeder on Instagram. I don't really tweet that much every now and then, but I'm at Stasi. That's not selling that one. But you can buy my book pretty much anywhere.

So just like Google it or like go to your local store. please support local bookstores because we don't want them to die. So there's that. You can also listen to the audiobook. And also your, you can go on Patreon. I call it Patron because I can't pronounce you. You guys, I haven't sold. I haven't had to do this in a long time.

So I'm sorry that I'm rusty. You can also go and listen to my podcast that I have with my husband on Patreon. And that is the good, the bad, the baby. And you get videos and just content, content. I think this episode's so amazing because it gives another perspective to a side of a story that a lot of people wanted to judge with the clickbait article. That's why I think is so amazing about podcasting is it gives context to things. No, no, they'll still pull the click bait out of it. Oh, okay.

Yeah, 100%. I'm already in the back of my head being like, God, I said a lot. Well, I said that I cut my clit off. So it is what it is. Lorne Bossick has lost her clip. It's not cut off. It was nicked. Okay.

And you told me you nicked your ball. So don't act like you're all high-in-say. I said, Nick, I don't come and say my fucking balls are gone. Stasi, I cannot wait to see what you are going to do. And I would love for you to have your podcast. Thank you. Just to let you know. Thank you for coming on.

Lo, thanks for bringing her in. Wait, don't go. Do you want to win a signed copy of Stossi's book off with my head, the definitive basic bitch handbook to surviving rock bottom? I read it. It's a great read. I think you guys will all love it. All you have to do is tell us your favorite podcast.

part of this episode on my latest Instagram and Stasi will personally sign a book for you. We'll drop into one of your DMs. And with that, get excited for the next episode. It's a good one. I think you're going to love this duo. Taylor, it's a damn good thing that Symbiotica decided to partner with our show because I'm telling you what, I am their number one customer. I am taking all of our disposable income and I am dumping it into Symbiotica. I think I have all of their products. I think I am their best customer. I don't think I've found a better supplement company. And I say that with a lot of confidence. If you guys have been paying attention and listening to this show,

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