The Bossticks - Teddi Mellencamp Gets Real On Marriage Struggles, Personal Struggles, Skin Cancer Battle, & Lessons from RHOBH

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

#804: Join us as we sit down with Teddi Mellencamp – reality TV star, entrepreneur, & accountability coach. From her early days navigating Hollywood to starring in Bravo's hit show, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Teddi is no stranger to the spotlight. In this episode, Teddi opens up about the realities of reality TV, the evolution of relationships through life's seasons, her personal battle with melanoma, & how embracing accountability became the key to her success!   To Watch the Show click HERE   For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM   To connect with Teddi Mellencamp click HERE   To connect with Lauryn Bosstick click HERE   To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE   Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE   To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697)   To learn more about Teddi's Accountability Coaching visit allinbyteddi.com and mention The Skinny Confidential on your application form for 15% off.    This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential   Head to the HIM & HER Show ShopMy page HERE and LTK page HERE to find all of Michael and Lauryn's favorite products mentioned on their latest episodes.   This episode is sponsored by The Skinny Confidential   Optimize your daily beauty routine. Shop Beauty Water at ShopSkinnyConfidential.com.    This episode is sponsored by Chomps   Get 15% off your order of Chomps meat sticks at Chomps.com/SKINNY with code SKINNY.    This episode is sponsored by Arrae    Go to arrae.com and use code 'SKINNY' at checkout to receive 15% off and 4 free Bloat travel packs with your first purchase or autoship order.   This episode is sponsored by DailyLook   Head to DailyLook.com to take your style quiz and use code SKINNY for 50% off your first order.   This episode is sponsored by Momentous   Go to livemomentous.com/skinny and try it today at 20% off with code SKINNY, and start living on purpose.   This episode is sponsored by OpenPhone   Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/skinny.   This episode is sponsored by ShipSkis   Go to Shipskis.com and use the code SKINNY to get 20% off your first shipment and save yourself the hassle this ski season. Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential. I have had access to some really incredible scientists, doctors, experts, and over the last 10 years, I have put together the top three things that I wanted in a morning water. And those things are electrolytes to hydrate in the morning before you have coffee, obviously, colostrum to support collagen production and pearl powder because it strengthens the hair, skin, and nails. I could not find one product on the market that had these things combined. So I created my own. And I wanted it unflavored. Okay. I wanted it unflavored because I wanted you to be able to add it to

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Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you alone for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Teddy Mellencamp, like never before. Truly, she said it on her Instagram story.

She said she was preparing to come on this show and she was mentally preparing and just getting ready, getting in the headspace to come on. We discussed all different kinds of life experiences on this episode. She was very candid and open. I think you're going to see a different side of Teddy, which is what you're. I was most excited about. I am a housewives connoisseur, and I got to know her in a different way on this episode. Beverly Hills, a real housewife star. She's also a podcast host. She runs a huge powerhouse brand called All In by Teddy, and she has helped over 35,000 people transform their lives. With that, get ready for some real talk, inspiration, and actionable tips to help you unlock your

potential. Let's welcome the incredible Teddy Mellencamp to the show. This is the skinny confidential, him and her. Teddy Mellencamp, welcome to the show. Hi, guys. Do you know what a housewife connoisseur I am? Oh, really? Yeah. You might, I might have to come on your show. I might be better at dissecting everything than the housewives you have on. Well, I'm no longer on Beverly Hills. No, no, no. I know. But I mean, come on your podcast. No, not on Bexecting. I was like, I need to come on your housewives like podcasts. Oh, on the two T's. Yes.

You have to come. That would be perfect. If like Tam's out sick or Erica is not available, you've got to come on because I need, I need your hot takes. And what's your favorite franchise? My favorite franchise is I have three. Beverly Hills. Okay. Because, I mean, I feel like everyone loves the glitz, the glamour, the dynamics.

I love Salt Lake because I love Meredith Marks. Oh. We partied with Meredith Marks in, where were we? We've been to a few places. A few places. And she's very fun. She is very fun. Did you watch the season finale?

I have not. Don't ruin it for me. I'm not going to ruin it for you, but it's very hard when you see people in real life and you hang out with them in real life and then you watch them on the show and you see this completely different side of somebody and you're like, hold on now I have to recap what I just saw, even though I know that I liked you in person. I know, but here's my thing. It's like a soap opera.

Like, I feel like you guys have to lay it on a little bit, so I'm okay with the just a position. I don't mind at all if somebody's more dramatic or they're stirring it or whatever it may be. I don't like when people get up and leave. Oh, well, don't tell me. I haven't seen it. Well, she does every episode, so it's pretty easy to know that. Maybe she should make, like, merch about leaving.

Yes, she should. I got a weird thing where I will peripheral. all these things. But then when I meet the person in real life, then I get super vested. And now I'm like yelling at people on the screen if they're mean to people I've met. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because now I'm like, oh, I'm connected. So you're invested. I know what that happens. My other franchise, my third one is Potomac. Potomac. Because I feel like there is so much shade. Oh. It's the most shadiest of shades of shades of shades. And they don't give a fuck. Well, they don't care because they all are like, I'm getting that paycheck no matter what.

And like, we're going for it. And, but I mean, they can kind of, and on Potomac, you know, they'll take it so far that you're like, you know, at some point people are going to watch this back. And some of those people are going to be your kids. It's going to be pretty wild. I'm not going to lie. If you want to see the shadiest show on television, it's Potomac. Yeah. So I want to go back to when you were a little girl.

What was it like growing up with your parents? I would say, I mean, people always want it to be the same. like fairy tales of a story. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint. My parents met my dad hadn't like had his first hit yet, but he was already like in the music industry starting out. He'd come out, met my mom at the Rainbow Room. She was 18 years old. And they had like a relationship. He was married back in Indiana. And then she got pregnant with me. And we moved to Indiana. And that's, kind of how my life came to be. And then his first hit, Jack and Diane,

was the year that I was born, 1981. And then they were divorced by, I had a little sister. I still do. Her name's Justice. And they were divorced by the time I was in the third grade. So was your childhood fairly normal, even though your dad was so famous?

I don't remember probably 90% of my childhood. Why is that? Like, I'm one of those people that if you show me a picture, I can, I pretend in my head that I remember it, but I don't fully remember it. My parents, you know, once they got a divorce, my mom got our vacation house and then decided to move us there full time. So my dad lived in Indiana, and my sister and myself and my mom moved to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. So how did your dad manage everything he was doing on tour and being like this rock star and having kids? Like, what is that like?

Well, I think, you know, I had an older sister already, but I mean, it was, I mean, I don't want to say too much because it's my dad and my mom, but like it was a brutal divorce. It was all of the things that you hope it's not going to be. And, you know, so the visitations, the, you know, all of it, it was strained for quite some time. What were you like as a little girl? I was kind of always that overachiever looking for, you know, attention, kind of having to figure it all out on my own. Also very sensitive. I'm a cancer. So, like, things hit me really hard, but I'm going to pretend that they don't. Overachiever. You know what? Michael and I are first children, too. We understand. What is in the soup with the first kids? They all want to overachieve. It's like how they get attention. It's across the board. Yeah, it's, I think it's also because Not only are you the first, but you have this need. And I think, especially for me, I don't know if your guys' parents are together.

But like for me, when I was with my mom or when I was with my dad, I wanted to make them happy. And I wanted to make them feel proud. So I kind of did everything inside of myself to try to do that. And then when I realized I probably couldn't, then that's when I got really underwriting horses and did that, like, traveled around pretty much from the time I was in the sixth grade till I aged out until I was 18, just traveling around with my horse trainers and doing that. You're very good at horse riding, huh? Thank you.

You know, his mom is too. His mom played polo. Oh, cool. I think she was one of the only women to win, or maybe the first woman to win, the Spreckles Cup. Oh. She used to play with men, too. He used to scare the shit out of me. Yeah, it's...

Because the, like, I mean, you know polo. if you know, if you know, it's, it's, my sister did, she did, my sister did, what is it, kind of even competitive riding where you do the jumps and all.

Hunter jumper. That's what I do. So that to me was a bit safer, but my mom was out there of like, the mallet and that ball and like going with men. It was crazy. She just scared me as a kid. Well, equestrian is one of the only sports

where men compete against women. Huh. Huh. Yeah, like with there's no, it's, you know, even now that I'm an amateur, I got my amateur status back.

It's, you know, 30, six and over they show against each other. I didn't know that. Yeah. I just really want to wear those pants. What's the brand of the pants that I should get to look like you guys? Oh, they're called Dada. Okay. D-A-D-A. But you'll probably want to get a black pair. Okay. Because then it's like super cute. You can't really tell that they're riding pants. Okay. Especially right now. I need a black pair. You know what I mean? Oh, stop. Congratulations, by the way. Thank you very much. Yeah, I definitely need a black pair.

you have been so open about your struggle with your weight and that's actually one of the reasons that I connected with you which we can talk about later but when you were a little girl did you struggle with that or was that not tell later on after your pregnancies so when I was a little girl I struggled with it in the way that I didn't nourish my body properly or really enough and then I moved to Los Angeles when I was seven and I had stopped riding horses and I, you know, started working the mailroom at CAA and I wanted to be an actress and I was a hostess at Euro Chow and Mr. Chow and I was just trying to make things work living in a studio apartment with a girl I met in acting school. And I would probably say within the first seven months of living here, I probably had gained like 70 pounds. Like it was, it was a lot. Which you're tiny in person. It's like on the show you guys all look so like. Tall. Yeah, you just look like, I don't know, you're just a tiny framed person. I'm very short.

So it's like it was, I was kind of eating my feelings, I guess. I had come from, you know, whether it was the horse world or growing up in Hilton Head, South Carolina, like a very, like I was a big fish in a small pond. And then I came out here and it was like a dime a dozen, you know, there was. There was nothing that really set anything apart. and then, you know, you add wanting to be an actor into it. And I had gained probably like 40 pounds. And then I was still like touch and go going on additions. And then I booked something.

And then between the time of when I booked it to when the pilot started, I had gained more weight. And when I went in for my like meeting and fitting and all the things, they were like, Teddy needs to lose weight or she can't. have this job. What'd you do? I never auditioned for another acting job again. Whoa. We got to get you back into acting. No, I'm not even good at it. It was just another way to try to like fill the void that I have inside of me. When when you're trying to act like that in Los Angeles and your dad is who he is, are you saying I'm not even going to pretend that's my dad or are you

like like I guess not texting at the time, calling him and being like, hey, can you help me? I never asked him for any entertainment, like that type of help. Yes, he got me my interview at CAA to work in the mailroom. And then I worked my way up, med agents, managers, those types of things. But no, I mean, in Hilton Head, where I grew up, yes, like he would come to a volleyball game and, you know, a couple of the moms would be like, ooh-hoo. But like, it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't until I started working for an agent. And I forget where he wanted dinner reservations, but he's like, can you get dinner reservations?

And I'm like, I tried, I can't get it. You know, at this time I had like a real Southern draw. I'm like, I tried. I can't get it. He's like, one, like, we need you to lose your accent. And two, drop your name. It'll get us in. And I'm like, what do you mean, drop your name? And he's like, say, Mellencamp.

And that was like, I had never done that before. I didn't even know that was a thing. And then it was, you know, yes, there are times I used it to my advantage to get into Joseph's on a Monday night. But like, I didn't use it for work. If I had that last name when I was young, I would have been a fucking parent. I would have been calling the top restaurants and being like Melanchamp, Lauren Melanchamp. My dad's sister's name's Laura. I would have been a nightmare at 16.

Listen, you got to use what you can use. Yeah, I would have been on the bar. Like, I would have been. I mean, my first couple years in L.A., they were a little, you know, it was dicey. It was like, okay, to get in this club to do that. But it never was I like, did I walk in and meet with like a casting director? And I was like, then afterwards call my dad. He'd be like, go fuck yourself.

You know, like get your own job. You know, like, I don't know. After you gained 70 pounds, did you go on a journey to lose it? What did you do? Because I want to get to what you do now. And I want to know the process of how you got there. It was kind of multiple times throughout my life, you know, the gaining of the weight and the losing the weight and kind of putting my identity into it, which I was.

I now think is kind of the first time that I've, you know, in these last eight years, I've been like, my life isn't actually about how much I weigh, you know, since I started all in. But at that point in time, you know, I had gone after the acting bust. I went back to riding horses. It naturally came off again because I went back to my same unhealthy patterns. And then, you know, I met my husband. Well, I guess my soon-to-be ex-husband. And that's when I quit riding and tried to. to get pregnant and I couldn't get pregnant, had like a couple of miscarriages, went through IVF, had my daughter slate, and then had my son Cruz. You know, it was the first time of my life I wasn't like making my own money. And people often think like, oh, she must have this fat trust fund or all

this. No, like when I came to L.A., I came out with my Jetta. You know, I lived in my studio apartment. Like, there wasn't, there wasn't that. And that's fine. I'm going. so grateful that he didn't do that because it taught me to be a fighter. But it was the first time, you know, I'm with a man who is, you know, the breadwinner. He's in charge and I have kids and I feel like I almost kind of lost myself. I kind of became like a misery loves company person. Like, let's all bring, you know, let these mommy and me's let's all get together and complain about our lives. And, you know, it got to the point where I didn't even want to be in a photograph with my kids because I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. But yet I wasn't really doing anything about it.

I wasn't moving my body. I wasn't eating even things that like would nourish my body. You know, like it was just I hated myself. What do you mean by misery loves company? And how does that even manifest itself? Like you surround yourself with other people. Like you can either surround yourself with other people that are going to lift you up and you're going to feel good and you're going to motivate each. Yeah, you know. And my let. And granted, some of these friends that I had, you know, when I first had my kids are still my best friends now, but at that point in our lives, we weren't there. We weren't like, okay, we feel like crap or we feel low or we have postpartum or whatever it may be. Let's go on a hike. We'd be like, all right,

let's sit here and eat crap and cry and talk and vent and let our kids play around together. Like it really was kind of that place. And then finally, you know, my marriage was not great. I had no kind of financial freedom of my own because I didn't make any money. And even if he didn't say it, I wasn't one of those people that felt comfortable just like we didn't have like, I felt like, can I go get my nails done? You know, like it became one of those things. And so I started an Instagram. It was a bad name, Alley Workout Junkie. And I said, I'm going to change my life today, follow along if you're interested.

And I did that for 365 days. never had a client, wasn't thinking it was going to be a business. I just needed Instagram to hold me accountable to change my life. Go back to when you met your husband. Where was this? So I met my husband the day after Christmas at a nightclub, Cocoa DeVille. Cocoa DeVille. Yeah. Cute name. I've never heard of Cocoa DeVille. Is that here? It was. It was next to the Belmont. Okay. Do you remember it? No, I don't know. That's a cute name, though. I feel like someone needs to name their daughter that. Yeah, so it was a day after Christmas.

Like, who goes out the day after Christmas, you know, I guess if you were me. But I was actually at the Belmont eating dinner with a couple of my friends. And I had just gotten divorced. My divorce was just fine. And they're like, just come out. We went to dinner. I think I was in Ugs and like a sweater dress. Like I was not in any place to be going to a nightclub.

But after a couple of drinks, they're like, let's go out. let's let's let's and I was like we're not going to get in and they're like we're twins we always get in like they always get in they always get in so I was like okay I was I was walking out as I was walking in he was walking out and then he turned around and yeah and then you also mentioned IVF what was that like there's at the time that you did it I feel like it was very I don't want to say taboo but people who aren't talking about it yeah I mean I think it's the same way as how people weren't talking about like postpartum anxiety or postpartum depression or any of those things someone in my family made a joke to me they were like we were always so proud of you

didn't get pregnant 18 like both your sisters but then we realized it's just because you couldn't you know like you know that's so it was gosh yeah and I mean I think it also it it's like my childhood there are certain things that like I would hate to tell you exactly how it was because I anything that's super painful for me after timing like I I really can't remember well that's why I asked you why you couldn't remember because a lot of that and you know this doing what you do like it's a trauma response yeah right like you're the brain blocks out things that are too painful to remember to protect you yeah what's it called though I sometimes do this too it's like I don't know there's a word when you um like disconnect from something it just disassociate yeah that's what you're

what it sounds like a little bit. Yeah, so like for me, you know, whether it was when I first got married and we were having, or before I even got married, when I knew that things weren't 100% right, but I kept pushing through and like, we're going to, we're going to figure this out, or when I was having issues, you know, after having the kids, or even when I couldn't get pregnant or my childhood and some of the trauma that went back that far, I get very, um, like almost like stoic, like ice. Or the other alternative is uber emotional. And so I'm really scared to show that emotional side,

which is why I've really worked hard to try to be more vulnerable so that I can actually grow instead of just saying exactly what I am. So in like past relationships as you grew up, if you were met with confrontation, how would you typically deal with it? Was it be like kind of block it out and disregard it and not address whatever was going on? Or would you? I'm fine. Like with like girlfriends, like friends that no like I'm happy to have a conversation or do get out or whatever.

But if I'm like in love with you and you know I know that there's not supposed to be unconditional love unless it's your children. But like I always like craved that and it's not something, you know, healthier even. I mean my therapist says that that's not even something that you want or should require, you know, because and there's codependency and all those other things. But I think, you know, when I'm confronted with hurtful things, I just pretend I don't care. And then I become very cold. But you do care.

But I do. But I'm broken. And she mentioned you said you're sensitive as a child. So it's like a mix of both at once, which is confusing. To you, I'm sure. Yeah. I also think what's interesting when people, come on the show and they've talked about like getting a divorce is that divorce

what I've learned does not just happen overnight it is like I mean you're talking about how old is your oldest daughter when I met my husband he his daughter was three weeks old wow and I didn't know that she was three weeks old and she's 16 baby also kind of and I mean I was I have an amazing relationship with her mom now like I love her like I they weren't married or anything like they were already broken up when I met but like yeah when I I met him. So it was so much. And I never even knew I wanted kids. And then I met Isabella and I fell in love with her. And that's when I, you know, I put my whole life into Edwin and Bella and becoming, wanting to become that perfect wife that like I never got to see. When you're, you said when your daughter was around the time your daughter was born, there was there was problems. So it's been like, that's the year.

and years and years and years. Like, it's not like, this is the thing that I want to just mention about divorce from what I'm hearing is like, it's, it doesn't just like, you don't get in a fight and get divorced. It's like years and years and years from what I've heard from people.

Well, what I, what I've kind of learned throughout, like, yes, I would say that, you know, me and I don't have had some of the most amazing years and the most amazing times. And when we met, I mean, it was like hot and it was all the things. And then there would be, you know, there'd be somebody else.

and like, and then I'd be like, it's okay, I can work through it, I'm going to make him love me more, you know, whatever it was. And then, you know, it, then you have kids and things happen. And then I would say probably at the point in time when Edwin was ready to start working on it and really change, I probably stopped.

That's interesting. Meaning like you guys were struggling before and then you were trying to fix it, and then he wasn't, and by the time he wanted to fix it, you were kind of checked out. But I never told him I was checked out. I think that's the problem.

But did I summarize that? Yeah, but that's right. By the, so he started, you know, really getting, you know, he became really good friends with a bunch of motivational speakers. He started really trying to change his life, and he did. And I think I had like, I don't know, almost like resentment or animosity or fear of ever, like, being open again.

So then I just kind of closed off and probably went into autopilot for quite some times. But then there would be some really amazing times. And I'd be like, all right, this is actually how it's supposed to be. And I mean, still to this day. Like I have to, you know, last night I was like, you know, crying. And I'm like, maybe I just, maybe I just figured out. Like, maybe I figured out just because like I don't want our kids to grow up in a home where their parents aren't together. And, you know, like all of it.

But it's scary. you don't know. But yeah, I would say, you know, then I booked a TV show. Yeah. Tell me through what you were going through at what point and what were you going through when you decided to book housewives? So I would say the hardest time before, like before we got married was a little bit tough, but then we got married, things were good.

And I always loved him and I still love him. And, you know, he's an amazing dad. But I would say the worst time in our marriage was right after the kids. up until when I booked the show. You know, I had had all the IVF issues, and then our biggest struggle was right when they had told me that you booked Housewives. And I don't know.

I had like so much fear. And I think that's why if you watch me on Beverly Hills, and then if you also listen to Two T's and a Pod, they're like, you sound like two different people. And I was like, yeah, I was a shell of myself, like, trying to portray this perfect life. That was really far from perfect. I also think as a viewer of the show, that is not an easy franchise. It's almost like going to like...

Or any of them easy? No, this one in particular, it's like the... What's the thing in baseball? The highest one? Oh, the A team? Yeah. Like, what's the highest? Please don't do a sports analogy line.

I don't know either, but like the biggest, it's the, it's the all-star league. The major league. And everyone is looking a certain way that like it's, it's very thin. It's, it's the best glam that you can possibly get. And I can say that because my favorite glam is in Los Angeles. It's like the house is like, who cares what your house looks like? Because next door there's someone bigger and next door there's someone bigger and next door there's. It's like, it's just so extravagant.

I can imagine with everything you're going through to go on that show, there's pressure. And it wasn't even that for me, like my first season. It was more so I would say now that I've watched all, I mean, I didn't watch Housewives before, but now that I watched them all and I recap them all for a living, I would say Beverly Hills, the strongest is probably the least one where women ask questions and expect vulnerable answers back. What do you mean? Like when you're watching, I don't know, Salt Lake, for example,

Mary is sharing really heartbreaking things about her son with one of the other women. One of the other, with Angie. And Angie is then sharing a story back, but also listening. And there's like this vulnerability between the conversation. I think that in Beverly Hills in particular, there is such a need for wanting. wanting everything to be, you know, we all had businesses, we all had the, like, nobody wants to be the one that's under attack. And also, nobody's listening or really asking the questions. Well, also, no one wants to show the cracks. Yeah, no one, but if nobody's asking you the question,

like, people always wanted to ask me about my weight stuff, and they would ask me, and then producers would be like, you don't get upset about it. I'm like, because I'm not upset about it. It's a part of my life that I'm happy to share. I think that there's a lot of girls that have gone through the same things that I have. I don't mind sharing that. And so it's like, I think producers are always looking for what it was with me. But if the women probably would have asked a couple of questions, they would have figured it out. I would have been open.

About your marriage, my life. The real things. Yeah. The real things. Yeah, I mean this with respect. And we know a lot of the people that are on that franchise personally. But what's interesting watching it and then knowing and then also just like being human. is you're right.

Like there's obviously real human issues with many of the cast members that has been articulated and shown since that maybe sometimes wanted and unwanted. But you're right, like if you watch that show, a lot of it was kind of either not shown or swept under the rug or like kind of hidden and then all of a sudden shit breaks loose

and all hell starts to happen. I have a theory. I think it's because there's this undertone with Beverly Hills of if you call someone out, you better bet your ass. they're going to call you out. But I think there's a difference

between calling somebody out and having authentic conversations. Yeah. And I think that now, like if you listen to my podcast with Erica, who Erica and I didn't even get along when we were on the show the first year together, but now we have a podcast together.

It's called Diamonds in the Rough. We can open up and connect and talk about things that never and all of the time we spent together we ever had because neither of us could really love. listen, because if you have your guard up so much, you're not, you're thinking about the next thing you're going to say versus what should I ask this person or what, what, you know, or how am I going

to make good TV or what, like, it has to be more like, what is this person feeling right now? It sounds like there's a little bit of self-producing going on. You can't help yourself but self-produced. I'm not judging it. I can't imagine. I mean, and the women that don't, I mean, they're excellent housewives. And, you know, but I think. think in Beverly Hills, it, it, it, normally the drama is narrowed down between like two women and they're just going to go at it and then it's going to be a pile on because you're not getting deep into the crux of what's going on. How do you convince your husband to go on that franchise and to do this? I always joke on this show, like, we do this and you can have all these conversations and like,

we get to control them and I don't have a third party, you know, cutting it up and telling me what to do or not do. Too bad because shit, if we had a third party, they'd be on my mind. Side, bitch. Yeah, and I could tell her to be quiet when I'm talking. I'm just kidding. But I wonder, I always say, I'm like, I've never seen it work out for any of these guys that go on these shows. Harry Hamlin. Here's the thing.

I think the show actually made our marriage better. Yeah. And Edwin would say this himself. The show held him accountable because all of a sudden people knew who he was. You know, like. Yeah, but that's kind of a crazy statement, too. It's like, I got to go on TV to be accountable in my marriage. Yeah.

Yeah, like, and so there were parts of it that really helped, and there was also parts like now of a sudden, my business is grown. I'm on a television show and I can do what I want. You know, like, I can be like, oh, I want to go on this trip or I want to go here. I want, and I can pay for it. And like, there's a difference in that changes on that show. And I can also say I saw things in myself the way I was in my marriage that I was like, oh, like, I was like, gosh, I really nag a lot. and you know like

we should go on the show actually fuck no I was like gosh I really nag a lot I had accountability on that teddy yeah but it's also interesting because they'll show certain things like I remember we had one conversation

that they never showed and I'm like if they would have shown this if they would have aired this it would have eaten Edwin alive but like Edwin was able to come out of the show after three years

and he came out completely unscathed which he should he wasn't ever he didn't do anything wrong except for for this one dinner where he, you know, he's talked about us. This is why I feel comfortable sharing it. But they had us have that conversation like,

should we have another baby? And, you know, at that moment, I'm trying to self-produce him through my head, like kicking him under the table. And he's like, oh, gosh, but then are you going to get all big and depressed again? And I was like, I was like, if they air this, this is going, they're going to eat you, you know,

and then so you're sitting the rest of the dinner like, Is that how it is? Are you like actually like when something said that you're so uncomfortable with and you can't control the other person like you're just sitting there like my shans would be destroyed if I was on that show.

If I if they would have had car cams on us that night we left that dinner it would have been off working were you just like why would you say that on television? Yeah but also why would you say that at all but it was like

I wanted to protect him and then I think a lot of of guys, I'm going to be really honest right now. I think a lot of guys think that. Yes, of course. You guys, I'm not going to be sitting here that like, you can't even keep a straight face. I think a lot of guys

think what Edwin said. It is hard to watch your wife gain a bunch of weight and be complaining every day that her feet hurt and she's tired and get the fuck out of her face because she needs a minute. Yeah. The other day, Lauren tried to get out of the car in the middle of an intersection because she was upset about God knows what.

I was proving a point. And I was just sitting there. But I think a lot of guys feel that way, actually. And if we weren't being filmed at that moment, I would have just given it to him back. I would have been like, go eff yourself. But I was like, no, I need to protect us right now. And so I'm going to just pretend that that comment meant nothing to me. So I was like, ha ha ha. And then it doesn't become a thing.

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One last time, Dailylook.com, promo code Skinny. Take the TV shows out of it. I say this even with social. There's a lot of couples that go and they like start to kind of produce what a perfect relationship looks like. Those people are always the ones that I'm the most worried about. It's like relationships in general, both marriages, you know, friendships, they're always imperfect. There's always, like that's the whole, modernized marriage is a constant work in progress, right?

Like there's constantly going back and forth, okay, we can do that better, shouldn't do this, communicate. If anyone that's in a relationship says that it's all bells and whistles all the time and like perfect birds and whatever, honey, it's just, not, it's not truthful. And so, you know, I don't, I think the scrutiny that happens on those shows is probably very difficult for a marriage because a marriage is constantly working on the marriage, right? And a man who's not maybe, maybe their wife's getting paid, but they're not, they're like, why am I doing this? Yeah, I mean, I would say really the show, I mean, I was on it for only three

years. I would say our marriage was fine during the show, you know, like it, it got, we got through it. That was fine. And then it was kind of after all the things that happened after I was fired or whatever it was. You know, my business was being attacked. One of my daughters had her finger accidentally, she chopped off her finger. Like the door slammed on it. This is in the middle of COVID. She had her like, I was following me behind. Like I was going to take the trash out. It's like 10 a.m. I'm like, Slate, I'll be right in. And she's like, mom, and put her hand and, And my baby, Dove, had to have neurosurgery. We're in COVID.

Terrible. I lost my job, being attacked online. Like, all of these things happened. Why'd you get attacked online? So there was a woman online who started coming after. So right after my last, I was still hired. Like, I thought I was still coming back to the show. I had done my interview to, like, what's going on for this year?

You know, like, think. thinking things were happening. And then there was a woman who started attacking me online saying, I created eating disorders that I attack that, you know, you can't even imagine. I mean, she went after me, I think for 365 days, maybe more. Around that same time, she was tweeting and Camille Grammer retweeted something that this woman said, who once again never met this woman, don't know who she is, like have no correlation to, like none of her friends were my clients. I have no idea who this person is. Retweet something she says. And then Kyle, being a good friend to me, comments to Camille, like, you're just jealous because you don't have a business and a, you know, something like

that. But now this girl who probably had, I don't know, a thousand followers, all of a sudden within days had 45,000 followers. And then the more that she started coming for me, the more her followers grew. And then right around that same time, it was announced on Daily Mail that I'm no longer a housewife. Weird. Do you think that the show didn't want that energy?

Like, what was that? I mean, we're in 2020. So it's the beginning of cancel culture and anything like that. I mean, and I didn't want to be. I was like all my paid posts, all of the things. Like I had to turn off commenting. I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on a crisis management team that, by the way, waste of money.

Anyone that tells you that you should hire a crisis management team? No. They, all they tell you, and I'm going to give you, this is a hot tip. Don't say anything. Be quiet. You should have called me. If you would have called me, if you would have called me, I would have said, what would I have said? Don't say anything.

Be quiet. Yeah. That's all I literally would have said. All people like this that are attacking people online want is attention. Yeah. And the crisis management team and all these different things, they're saying back, there's statements, there's all this shit. Just don't say it. We never said anything, but I hired a team just to tell me to be quiet.

There's a weird. I got it. So the team did tell you to be quiet. Yeah. And I never, I mean, now I'm talking about it, but I mean, my publicist isn't here right now. Like, so do I ever talk about it? Never once. There's a weird thing.

It's funny, like, not even doing this show, but like running a media company, like, dear media. I always find this so funny because obviously, like, doing this show and then producing a lot of other shows, we're no strangers to this kind of stuff. But it's never affected the business because I've never given it any care. Like, people whine about what's said on shows or what we say, and I'm like, I don't care. Like, just don't listen then. Go away. Advertisers. You don't want to pay for it.

Go somewhere else. By the way, I do want to say this. I never understood this. And I'll say this on air. I tried your program. I saw the show. I tried the program. This is before I had Zaza.

So this is... 2018. 2018. I tried it. And it's great. It's amazing. Like, it's, you hold you accountable. I think I lost, like, I don't remember exactly, but, like, eight pounds.

I felt great. You lost nine pounds. You know, she knows. Oh, I lost nine pounds. I felt great. And it was, like, a great reset. And what it did for me is it trained my taste buds. Like, it retransed.

Like it retrained them to eat a little bit healthier. But the problem was literally the day that I finished, I found out I was pregnant. But you know, when you say, don't say anything and I just listen, and I don't mean to throw a shade at anybody that's in crisis management or PR or publicist or whatever. But everybody feels that everything on the internet justifies a response from the person that's on the other side of that. And I've never understood this. The internet is the place. There's seven billion people on the planet. There's hundreds of millions of people paying attention to these platforms all the time.

It's impossible to respond to everybody and to please everybody all the time. My advice to anyone that's dealing with any of this is, who cares? There's a million other advertisers if they don't want to work with you. Who cares? There's a million other platforms. Who cares? You can self-produce. You can do things for free without the consequence of having to be behind any kind of person

that basically gives you that approval. And I'm saying this is someone that not only does a show, but produces 100 shows. And I've never paid any attention to any of that stuff. I mean, I didn't really have a choice. I mean, it was actually a show. my business was attacked. Like there was, it was in the New York Times. Like, my business was really being, it was probably good for business up, right? For a little while it was good for business. But then it became like a, I don't know, it changed my feeling about how I was working within my

business because it was like every day it was another hit and I was like, oh. So you almost had to be careful like with the way that you were interacting with clients because you're second guessing yourself. Not even that. It was more just like, gosh, This is something that I love. And I created this business because it changed my life. And now it's changed over 30,000 other people's lives. And now this. And now I have someone I don't even know who's turned something that has been one of the biggest struggles in my life into something that I was trying to hurt other people with.

And that's what really hurt me. And I know we talked that you lost nine pounds or whatever. But what I remember of what it did for you is a lot of because you were so busy, you had a really hard. time scheduling out certain times for yourself. It was a nightmare. And I remember the conversations of like, okay, well, we're going to pick a time. We're going to pick that 30 minutes. Like, when are you going to go on the walk?

Or when are you going to do the Pilates? Or when is it going to be all of those things? And you'd be like, well, I don't know if I could pick a time. I'm like, no, if you don't pick a time, it's not going to happen. Yep. No, it's also like it's a check in with yourself. It's like, it's a good tool in your toolkit. Yeah.

I enjoyed it. I like to. try everything. I'm someone that's really open-minded with all different kinds of things. And I thought it was great. I lost weight. I felt good. And it did reset my taste buds. So I had a good experience. Yeah. And I mean, I still, to this day, it's something that I follow and I, you know, I still tag my workouts and hold myself accountable because not, yeah, I've had weight issues my entire life. But for me, it's the mental health aspect. When I'm not moving my body, when I'm not like, getting my endorphins up when I'm not doing those type of things I am sad like I struggle with you know

like I am diagnosed OCD and I have anxiety like moving my body helps me how how are you like what do you do that's OCD how did you know you had that I mean you have to take like a multitude of tests did you do something that's like a ritual I'm not like yeah I do like weird counting stuff but for me it's A lot about scheduling, a lot about like everything having to be perfectly organized, but not like my house isn't immaculate. That's what I was like, why can't it be things that, you know, whatever, but I redo the calendar a thousand times. But just it's that constant, like my mind is constantly wondering and overthinking every

single thing and it doesn't stop. Even when you try to go to sleep? No, definitely when I try to go to sleep. So it gets worse when you're trying to go to sleep. And so, yeah, I mean, now that's, I've learned about meditation, I've learned about, you know, box breathing, different things. I do a cold plunge. I do the sauna. Like, I'm medicated.

You know, like, let's be clear. Like, I am. Your toolkit. I have a toolkit to get through it. And then I've learned that on the days that I'm not getting through it, it's okay for me to go, you know what? I'm going to go to work today. And then afterwards, I'm just going to lay. I'm going to cry.

I'm going to do this or I'm going to let myself feel that I put myself through the ring or, you know, these past couple weeks. When you look back on the show experience and you've evolved now, what would you tell yourself and what are things that surprised you about the show when you look back on it? I wish I would have just trusted my instincts and been more of who I actually am versus what I thought people would want me to be. Yeah. Yeah, because, I mean, people get mad at me all the time on the podcast about stuff I say or things I do or my opinions. And I'm like, I don't care. Yeah, I noticed that with you now. I feel like you're just like, you know what?

I'm going to let it rip if you like me or you don't like me, like, fuck off. But anybody that says they would go on a platform like that and just be themselves, like, I don't think they're being honest. I mean, that's a big platform to go on with national syndication and a lot of attention and fans that can be really supportive, but also really brutal. And like, you're on a world stage. And I, but I think also, like, if I was on a different show now, I'm not saying I want to be back on Barbilly Hills, but if I was on another show now and I were to do it, I would go in and show the good, the bad and the ugly. Get her on. But I think that because I didn't, because I wanted to give this idea of perfection of this, like, what I made myself was so rigid and uncomfortable. And also, you know, I was significantly younger than the majority of the women.

Yeah. I came at, you know, like, you also, I think I'm in a note this. To be pregnant on film is stressful. And by the time I left, I had formed those really great relationships with some of the girls. Like, I had some best friends. And still, to this day, they're some of my best friends. So, yeah, I mean, I think it just, it takes you a little bit of time to open up. And around the time I probably would have is around the time I was gone.

But that's why I'm so happy I was able to do the podcast. I think, too, if it helps for me, and I'm sure a lot of people listening to have context of your whole childhood and how you moved here and gained 70 pounds and all of these things that you've experienced in your marriage, it helps to have context of the behind the scenes because it then makes sense that you would go on the show and try to be a perfectionist. Like all the things that you've just told me on this show, of course you went on the show the first time and tried to be a perfectionist. Look at your background. That's why I love long-form content like this, because it makes people understand how they got to that place. And then also, if you're somebody who, like, I'm assuming you probably are as well, like, if you go to do a job, you want to go and do it well. So if somebody were to say, like, gosh, you'd be helpful if so-and-so would bring that, I'd be like, okay, great, doing it. You know, like, I'm going to do my job, and this is what I'm here to do.

And instead of, like, letting things authentically come out as I felt them. Don't you think too, though? Like, I feel like you're at such a strong point with your podcast. Your podcast is everywhere. Both your podcasts are everywhere. And it's almost like all of this happened to sort of get you to this point where you're hosting these two really successful shows. I think, you know, it definitely came out of time when the podcast was first offered to me. I mean, it was a pretty low time.

You know, I just had neurosurgery. We're in COVID. Like everything's, and I got the call. And I was like, no. I am not, I just got fired from Housewives. I'm not going to recap that show. Like, throw, I'm going to look so desperado. You know, and I was in my own head.

And then I like slept on it. I probably called Sue. I was like, okay, actually, you know what? I will do it. But I want to pick who my co-host is. And they were like, okay, and they gave me all these ideas. And I was like, no. The only person I want is Tamara Judge.

Did you know Tamara before? I mean, we hung out of Andy's Baby Shower and stuff, but not well. You were at Andy's Baby Shower? Yes. Okay. I'm going to put that. down. I'm not to ask you about that. Keep going. Oh, yeah, you don't know the John Mayer story from the baby shower? No, so I said Tamara. Tamara had also just gotten fired. Or she got demoted,

but then she quit because she didn't want to be a friend. And they were like, we're never going to get Tamara. And I was like, give me 15 minutes. And I like sent her a DM and I'm like, hey, can I talk to you? And she called me right away. And I said, listen, I'm sure you're is like messed up in the head as I am right now. Because any sort of rejection. feels so bizarre. I'm like, but I think we could do something great with this and we could make real money

and we could show off our worst sides and our best sides and we could use it to our advantage. We don't always agree. I've watched you. I don't always agree what you say. We're completely different people, but like I think this could be great.

And it was a hit. And that's how we became the twats. Yeah, I think it's funny because a lot of Housewives launch podcasts. Yeah, since. But yours was sticky like it hit yeah i think it's because we really like we go on and we're like one you're only

as good as last week's episode and two like sorry if i know you but like i'm gonna i'm gonna recap exactly what i watched this week who's gotten pissed at you guys oh my gosh everyone there isn't i mean this last week but the best is like tamill like blindside me because we're friends with different housewives from different franchises so there's It's like, I'm super close with Chanel Ion. She's close with Uber. They're cousins. So, like, I'm sitting there, text with Chanel Ion.

Everything's great. Blah, blah, blah. We recap New York. I didn't like something Uber did. Set it on the pod. No, but also, it's a television show. I don't really care, but Uber then message Tamara. And so then we get on the pot.

Instead of Tam, giving me any kinds of heads up, I'm like, welcome to another episode of two T's in a pod. And she's like, Uber's mad at you. And then reads the messages. for Mova, you know, and I'm like, oh my gosh. And then there's like, you know, then you get mad. And I'm like, well, tell Uber, then act better. You know, like, don't say that stuff. It was insensitive. Who's the most fabulous housewife that you've met in person besides Tamara? Because I know you love her because you guys are host. Well, I mean, there's difference between

fabulous and, like, who I'm closest with, like, my closest housewife friends are, you know, Kyle, Tamara, Erica. Brenna. And then, no, I got close with Emily when I was doing the pod with her. But like the people I see outside of, you know, this world are those original four. But, no, like, fabulous. Like, when you see them. Oh, Caroline Stansberry is pretty fabulous. She's fucking fabulous.

Like, I have to agree. Caroline, if you're listening, she's fabulous. Yeah, she's fabulous. The kindest housewife, Dolores Catan. Like she, I mean, checks in. Like, she is the first person to check in. She does it without judgment. She gives good feedback, but also is a good listener.

She used to work in a jail. Yeah. I mean, she knows how to manage all of our crazy. Yeah, she does know how much. Let's go back to the John Mayer and D. Cohen baby shower. What was that like? Okay. So the baby shower was really fun.

Okay. I mean, because it's essentially was like the Housewife Olympics. Like we are all getting there The paparazzi's You know watching us come in with our gifts Does everyone get an invite? Every housewife? No, that's not ever No, Michael, come on

And some people chose not to go Because they couldn't be around certain housewives You know, whatever it was But I would say there was probably 30 of us Like you can pull up a photo I think it's about maybe 40 And we all had like our like assigned seats And we sat down

And then we all moved around by like who we were kind of vibing with, or lack of a better word. But, I mean, it was wild, like, dancing on tables. Like, it was housewives are fighting, like, that aren't even on the same franchise. How did they not film that? I mean, it was a really big missed opportunity because my Insta stories, I mean, and even the next day, and then I'll get back to John Mary, even the next day, I was like, because afterwards we went to Craigs, because, I mean, this was a brunch. So, like, afterwards we went to Craigs, and then the next morning I woke up and I was like, oh, my gosh. And I, like, on a group text with probably Tamara or Kyle or whomever it was.

And I was like, oh my gosh, we got home at like 2 a.m. last night. I'm exhausted. She's like, Teddy, we got home at 8.15. Oh, because you guys were just started so early and you were drinking. Wow. God damn when I wish they filmed it. Yeah, I mean. Can you post the clips or like DM me some that we can like share with this episode?

My favorite was the Ramona singer looking at me and being like, Gina. I think blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I'm not Gina. She's like, Gina from OC. You guys look nothing alike either. Don't worry. Then she came on our podcast before that whole thing happened with her. And she still didn't know my name.

I was like, it's Ramona. It's Ramona. I was like, you know what? You can just kind of learn it. But then I was like, forget it. Just talk to Tamar. I'll sit here. But no, the John Mayer story was he was sitting next to me.

And he said, so, are you actually a housewife? And I was like, what do you mean? And he goes, are you married? And I said, yes, I'm actually. one of the ones still married. I mean, this was years ago. And I thought that was a totally normal thing to say. 90% of the other women in the room were not married. So I said, yeah, I'm actually one of the ones still married. Then he went on Andy's podcast the next day and was like, I think Teddy Mellencamp is hitting on me. She said, I'm actually still married. And then I was like,

do John Mayer. I did. I have heard from a couple of girls that he has a nice, big personality. I've heard from a couple of girls he likes to do it with a couple girls at one time. Oh, John. Yeah. You should have said your bodies are her one girl in. No, but I'm not really mad at John Mayer. I mean, I think he's probably doing a concert with my dad since. So love you, John Mayer.

The fact that he called Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper from a bar that has cats. Did you see this? Lauren, I got to be honest, I'm not up to speed. There's cats all over the bar. Cat Cafe. There's a cat cafe in London and he called them from the cat cafe. They would sound kind of like unsanitary? There's like a cat on his head and like a cat. It's probably stuck under his penis. I mean to me that would kill any lady boner that I had. But anyways. A lot of cats.

A lot of cats. I like John Mayer though. I like I like it was I think he was joking. But it got like all this press and I was like not what I need right now. Kind of fun to like John Mayer and Teddy Mellon camp. You never know. I mean, that'll be a headline. We have to discuss your journey with skin cancer. And I wrote a book called Get the Fuck Out of the Sun. And I love it.

I'm so happy. People are confused. They say I hate Sun. It's not that. It's that I'm strategic about when I use the Sun to my advantage. So I look, I have on my phone, and I love talking about this with you. On my settings, it says the UV. So I programmed it so I can see.

and if it's over a certain thing, I just don't, like, indulge in the sun. So I go out in the morning when it's, like, zero or one. Right. What was your relationship like with the sun before you got this? And then when you did get this, what was that like? So, I mean, my relationship with sun. I mean, you have to, I'm probably significantly older than you.

But, like, I grew up in the 80s. Like, we would put baby oil on ourselves and iodine and, like, grew up on the beach, and I would just bake myself, you know? Like. Zaza would have to go to her room. Yeah. Like, I had a tanning bed in my bedroom at one point. Only because, like, we had moved into a smaller house and there was nowhere else for the tanning bed to go.

And so, like, my friends would come over and we would just tan ourselves. You know, we didn't know any better. I mean, we also had Pop-Tarts every day for breakfast. Yeah, you didn't know. You don't know what you don't know. Pop-tarts are okay. Yeah, I mean, this is, I mean, brown sugar and cinnamon is pretty delicious. But we, you know, that was always kind of my relationship.

with the sun. Like the more sun, the better. I look better, Tanner, you know, like, whatever it was. And then still as an adult, my relationship, I would always put sunscreen on my kids. Like, that's how you're taught, you know, like, protect your kids' skin. But I didn't really protect mine. I'd put it sunscreen on my face, but I never, like, thought about my arm or my hands or my back. I'd run in a sports bra only because, like, I don't, I have, like, textural issues because of, like, some of my OCD stuff. And then I had this ginormous patch on the back of, my shoulder that I always kind of had that used to be just a big white circle. And then it turned into no longer a big white circle.

How big are we talking? I'm sorry, just for context. Probably like this. I was born with it. We thought it was a birthmark. Okay. Like a hyperpigmentation. And then as I got older, it started to get freckled.

And then I started getting these like, I don't know. They almost looked like sun spots. and sometimes they would raise and sometimes they would be small. And, you know, around 20, the first time someone brought it up to me was like 2019. I was, I was on the show and somebody's like, those things on your shoulder look a little brutal. I went to a dermatologist and they were like, oh, we think it's dermatitis, put this cream on it. And they went down. And I was like, oh, great.

You know, like, okay. So whenever they would flare up, I'd just put this stuff on and move on. And then I guess, I mean, I can't even remember what year it was. I guess it was three years ago. I was on a run with Kyle and our friend Jen. And they were like, Teddy, the things on your back, you're going to the doctor. And like part of my anxiety is I, granted, I had a necklift, but like I still don't like going to the doctor. Oh, I got to ask you about that.

Go on. Yeah. So. Just because the stress of like, you don't, like, it's like. I don't like making appointments. I don't like filling out paperwork. I don't like all of these things. It feels inefficient.

Yeah. Like if I'm going. and I think that I'm going for a purpose, like the necklace, well, I was like, great. It's beauty, too. Yeah, it's selfish. But self-indulging. But I just never, I didn't take it seriously. Plus, I didn't know that skin cancer was a big deal.

Like, I was like, at one, it's not skin cancer. It's like moles. Like, get over it. Do we have had it forever? Yeah, like, I've had it since I was a kid. So I went and, and immediately, she's like, well, one, you're going to need to go to an oncologist, but like, I'm going to cut this one out. And we're going to start this process. And then pretty much throughout the next three years, I think I've had over 20 surgeries.

And, I mean, have you seen my back? I've seen you post an Instagram story, but can you show me so I can just see. I've seen you post like an Instagram of it. I didn't know that you've had 20 surgeries, Teddy. And my last surgery, I had over 800 stitches. Oh my gosh. Gosh. It was, I mean, it's going to take me a second.

Do you guys care? He might be able to find it on the screen as we're talking. Wait, are you done with the surgeries or you don't know? We don't know. This last time that I booked an appointment, like, because I have to get checked every three months now, I was the first time I haven't had melanoma. That's so. Amazing. It was huge.

It was really big news. Okay, so like here's. Holy shit. That's what Demi Moore has. on her back. That is... That looks like... That's different. That is huge. Whoa, look at the screen. You guys need to go to her Instagram to see this.

This is crazy. Holy shit, that's like really... Teddy, this is like... So what did they have to do there? They went and they started cutting along that line? Yeah, so it had started out where, you know, they'd just take one at a time or sometimes it was two at a time. But the kind of like the mind game or the mind F with cancer or skin cancer is, you know, there's different stages for each one, this one's that, this, you know, and then there's so many more testing you need to do. You need to do your genetic testing. Then you

need to do this. And then you have everybody else's opinions. And then, you know, I'm definitely, I would say this is also another part in my life where this is where I started to shut down. Like where my husband was working on our marriage, I started to shut down. And because I wasn't able to tell him what I needed. Like there were moments where I was like, I'm, I'm maybe going to die. Like, I, I don't know what I'm going to do. And then, you know, men are such fixers. It's like, well, that one's only stage two. We're good with that, right? We're good. And I'm like, well, I mean, I was just turned down for life insurance, you know, but instead of me being vulnerable and being like, I need you to just lay with me right now. Yeah. I need you.

you, I know that you're wanting to fix all of this and make it seem like it's okay, but I need softness. I don't want you to fix it. I want you to hold me and I want you to tell me that I'm going to be okay. And I want you to have these conversations like if I do die, like this is the type of woman I'm going to marry. You know, like I wanted, I needed those moments, but I didn't ask for them. And I just, I mean, two days after that surgery, you know, I was in the post-treatment facility where they help you heal. I mean, I was back during the podcast. Like I. So again, it's like another block. Yeah. Like, how long ago was this? Not this past Christmas, the Christmas before. I had, I think that surgery was on the 27th of December. Men, no offense. They don't, they do not know.

It's, I actually think it's like, it must be like from caveman days, how to show up tenderly when you need a tenderness. And I've noticed in my own. experience because, and I think you can relate to this, you and I do have a dominant, sometimes masculine energy that when we, and again, I'm just speaking for you, can tell me if I'm wrong, when you step into your feminine, it's confusing sometimes to the man. Yeah. That's what I've noticed in my own experience. Do you mean to answer for all men on the planet?

Sure, go ahead. Go ahead. We'd love it. Okay, perfect. We'll dissect it. I will probably get annoyed at it. I think you nailed it on the head. I think most men's instinct when things are going.

wrong in order to feel and control and to feel helpful as you try to go for the fix. And like that's just... Sometimes we don't want a fix though. We literally just want you to lay there and like what you said, like give you a hug. Controversial statement these days, but this is why men and women are different, right? It's like our instinct is to go to that fix and it takes a lot of like learning and training and patience to kind of step out of that sometimes. Sometimes you get frustrated too that you have to tell them.

Yeah. And I think, you know, he was like, well, I thought I was being of service because, you know, I was being of service because I was, you know, like, and now we're learning all of these things, you know, because we're in co-parenting therapy and, you know, doing all those things. And we're just learning so much about like, wow, like how we weren't, how I wasn't, he may have been, because I said, I didn't, I didn't think you were happy. And he's like, what do you mean? I love you. I love you more now than I've ever loved you. And I was like, what? Like, I haven't, I haven't been feeling that. Because they don't verbalize it.

And then there was just, I think it just, I really felt in those moments, like, you know, when you get turned down for life insurance or when, like, I remember those first couple appointments that he didn't come to with me or the first couple surgeries and like, but I didn't ask. I would just text my best friend and be like, will you come with me? You know, like, because I wanted so badly for him just to know, so I don't blame him for it. I wish I would have had the strength to say what I needed. So if you're a woman listening to this and like you think that your person doesn't love you or doesn't care about you because they're trying to fix something, it's just because they're scared too and they don't want to make you more scared. But you have to actually, it's okay to say like, this isn't enough for me.

Like this isn't actually what I need. Like you're actually making me more nervous when you talk about what stage it is. and then all of those things, I really wish I would have been throughout my entire life, more transparent about what I actually really need versus what I put on the front that I need. Sometimes they don't listen to, which is a different, yeah. Sometimes you do tell them.

That must be only applicable to men. You're right. Well, it's just like, you know, Ben, you guys do have your shortcuts. Yeah, but then also sometimes you, like, sometimes I'm not a, like, a fighter. Like, I'm one of those people, if you say something to me that hurts me to my core, I will remember it for the rest of my life. Like, I know I block out a lot of stuff, but, like, if you say something, I am kind of, like,

I think ahead, like, I've never said something to anybody that I love that I was like, wow, they're going to be able to remember that statement forever. And I think that's also another thing that I didn't make clear. Like, when we get upset, I shut down and then you say certain things, and then I carry those things for the next three years, and you moved on 20 minutes later. Right. Because it's different personality types. Uh-huh. I think it's pretty self-aware, though, that you're sort of analyzing that.

Yeah. That's like my sister and me, right? Your sister and you are different. That's for sure. But you know, but I... I love your sister. I'll just say this. Like, I think there is all, like, would women really want men to automatically switch and be this?

There's a, there is an argument about, like, the ultra-feminization of a lot of men these days. And I'm just putting that out there. Like, I understand, like, we all want this perfect world where everyone has all the pieces, but I think you nailed it on the head, which is, like, the communication. Yeah. What I found in our marriage is I want to understand everything that's going all the time, but sometimes unless she tells me, like, it's just, it's not wired in my. brain to think that way in some cases. I do also think when there is when you are married to a

dominant go-getter woman, it's hard to then switch sometimes. And also, I mean, he's always been somebody that I mean, he runs a very successful business. Yeah. He's an entrepreneur. He's he's got his hands in a million. Like he he works his tail off and I never had a I never had a problem with that. It was always like, but then there was a moment where I was like, now is the time I need you to slow down. But I didn't say it. Quick break to talk about one of my favorite supplement companies on the market, and that is Momentous. We have had the founder of Momentus on this podcast talking all about their high-quality supplements.

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What do you mean? We went through some sort of like marriage exploration where we did learn a couple of things about each other, which I thought was incredible. Like I always said, I'm an introvert. Because he's, Edwin's one of those people that like, you know, whether it's we're going to church or we're going to lunch or we're doing whatever, he will talk to anybody for 85 hours if he could. Wow.

Like, he is in it and he could, like, he loves it and he's asking all the question he's doing it. I've got probably 14 minutes in me. Like, if I'm not, if like, I don't love you or if I'm not close with you, I've got, I can do it for five minutes, but I am not like a, type of person. So I, you know, I would have to be like,

I'd like tap him and I'd be like, stay as long as you want that car. Yeah. You know, like I can't, I can't do that. It's not, it's not how I'm wired.

Like, if you're going to pay me, I'm there and I will do it for 25 hours. But like, if I am just on my own, I, like, I lose steam. So,

but he, I always thought like, gosh, Teddy, that's not that nice that, like, you know, we finish something

and then you just need to go. And I'm like, Well, I'm happy to say hi and be kind to everyone, but I'm not like a small talker. Yeah. I'm an introvert. And he's like, you're not an introvert. You're on a podcast. You talk constantly for a living.

But we took these tests. And in the entire room, there was a whole bunch of people. I was the lowest. There was one other. And she's like a big time woman entrepreneur that had a lower score than me. But we were the two lowest introverts or the two highest introverts in the entire seminar. So that probably felt good so you could solidify that. So that was helpful, but kind of what wasn't was like, I think oftentimes when you're in a group setting, getting counseling, I think it can be hard.

Yeah. And I think you can show different sides of yourself. And I felt in that moment very shut down, not from my husband, but just I felt like I couldn't really share. And so that was like another. like just another like and where he went into that wanting you to open you shut down yeah I mean we both went into it

wanting to be open but like kind of after day one I was like well this is not going to be the place for me you know like I was like this is so how long was it I mean we were there a couple days oh I thought you were going to say a week I couldn't do that

you don't know what you could do maybe you never know I mean my favorite parts and I was talking to another wife that went was like the times we would like play tennis or go play pickle, you know, like the activities. I could go play tennis. But like the, yeah. I'm not a big group setting guy like that. Yeah, it's not.

Especially if you're introverted. Yeah. What, when you guys make the decision to separate, what, what is the gossip? Like, how do you handle all this shit online? Do you block it? Do you delete Instagram app? Are you responding? What's your, what's your tactic?

The biggest thing for me through all of this is, yes, I want to protect my children. Like, at the end of the day, I could say a million things about Edwin, and he could say a million things about him. But I believe that I have been quite respectful of him on this podcast. And I would hope that he would be the same of me. And so what do you do with all of the people commenting and all this shit? Do you look at it? Do you block it out? What do you do? Really depends. I mean, if it's on a post with my kids, oh, come on. Then I try to, I try to remove it, but I mean, there's a good portion that at this point my kids are aware of, you know. And it's hard as a parent because when you're sharing, you know, things that you've done or, or ways that you've

contributed to the demise of a marriage, you don't want to then throw your significant under, significant other under the bus. Like, you don't, like, so then the press started doing that and I had never done it. So I'm like, don't, you don't need to throw hit, like, like, you don't, you don't need to throw, hit like yes he shared that like when I first started housewives was a hard time for like anything that I've shared today is stuff he shared but like the press started picking up stuff from a source close to teddy and it just it and then it made us so mad at each other because I would say a source close to Edwin or this and like I was like are you leaking this like there were moments where I was like are you leaking this to the press Are you telling people this?

Like, why? Like, I'm not going to go back in time and reveal our entire history. Like, I'm going to try to keep it as copacetic as possible. And, like, I still, regardless if we never get back together and our marriage is over, you're the father of my children and I will love you forever. And I want to be the kind of parents that we go to a birthday party together. We throw a birthday party together, that we are a team, and that I'll be friends with his next wife. You know, like, whatever.

I want that. I don't want the kind of divorce that my parents had. Like, I, and I think the media really made that difficult for a little bit. They've kind of laid off me a little bit at this point, but, like, it was brutal. Well, if I can just give you a compliment throughout this whole interview, I think that you've done nothing but what you just said. Like, to me, after listening to this, I think it totally is possible for you guys to throw a birthday and that you just own the narrative and sort of took the air out of the press through this whole interview so far. Like, I feel like the best way to combat it is to do what you've just done and talk about it and own it and take it back into your own hands. The media, Michael and I just had a big guest on and the media, the shit that they pulled from this show.

it was like, it was not real. It was like literally like... Well, listen, it's a hard... It's a hard business when you need to make headlines, right? And like, I think the reason I like this medium so much outside of it being our business is you really get to know people without sound bites. Yeah. And you get to tell stories and give context and background.

And, you know, whether you think you disagree with someone or not, like, what I've learned doing this show for so long is you learn about why people, think the way they do or are the way they are. And even like when I just hear about your childhood and in the way that you grew up, like a lot of it now maps out and makes sense. And it's an it's a it's a exploration of the human condition. You know what I mean? Like nobody's perfect. And I think, you know, we when you're not feeling 100% like yourself and you're, then you're feeling all of a sudden this over like it's a dopamine rush to like feel special. And I think that in those times, you know, if you're open and authentic and you talk to your person, then you know,

things may or may not happen. But if, if you're not, you're probably going to make some decisions that are ultimately going to affect your life. I think it sounds like maybe you never know what's going to happen for you. I mean, you don't, maybe you guys get back together. Maybe you don't. Maybe you throw a birthday party together and maybe you're meeting each other's new significant others. But it doesn't sound like a concrete black or white situation. I think and what I've always kind of said is I need time. Yeah. Like I need time. I also like I said, you know, like I want to date. Like I want to meet people. Like I want to know. I want to know because I don't know because for 16 years I've tried to be this person and I'm not that person. Sometimes like yeah, I'm a great mom. I have a lot

fun with my kids. I'm an activity person, but I'm not someone that cooks. I'm not good at crafts. Like, I'm not going to have the perfect sign that says today's, like, but like if we get down to it, like, I will be at every sporting event for my kids. Like, I will go on every fun adventure that you could possibly do. Like, I've learned a lot about myself and I just want to be a good mom to my kids. And I realize that a lot of people are putting the two together. Like, well, you did this. So it means that you don't care about your family or you don't care about. your kids and that's the most hurtful thing people could say like I would honestly do anything for them and if I think at the end of the day what's better for them is for me and

their dad not to be together we're not going to be together like that's I I want my kids happy I think that you're an unbelievable mom and anyone that's saying that is projecting their own shit onto you just really have to look through it of a lens like that. There's something that they're projecting on to you. The two, you could simultaneously do two things at once. And I think you're a great mom. And I've seen, I've watched you on, I mean, I've watched you on Instagram of the show, but you just can feel it. You're an unbelievable mom. Thank you. I think that I'm going to say 2025 is going to be your year. You think. Yeah. Why not? Abundant mindset. You know what? I'm going to have an abundant mindset.

I think it's going to be your year. We've been having a pretty rough one since 2020, so maybe 2025 is where it's going to come. And you don't have melanoma anymore, right? My last check a month and a half ago, I did not. Does that mean when you say you don't have it, it means you're cured? No. With skin cancer or melanoma, it means, so every single time you go in and get your skin check. And it's like a full skin check.

And if you're listening, you shouldn't only be getting skin checks. You should also be like going to your gynecological appointments. you need eye exams. You could have melanoma in the eye. Like, you need to book all of your appointments. Get your mammograms. If you're of a certain age, get a colonoscopy, like, all of it. You have to be diligent about your health, and it can't be something that you put off.

Because every, I mean, we, I'm not kidding. For at least two years, every three months that I went back from my checks, I had another melanoma. So. So, Lauren, you gave me shit from going in there and I went in there. all naked, I did the whole thing. Yeah, he had a spec, like an actual spec. It was a real spec. Like, I think of a spec. He had a speck on his face. Like, you couldn't see it. Yeah, but you got to watch, right? And I'm happy, having Teddy on, I'll be a little kinder. But you did have a speck that you talked about for about. I got to read my face checking.

Next thing I knew I was like, put naked. Probably about 15 times a day for two months. But then why This is, okay, this is where my issue with man and woman is. Let it rip. Okay, so you have the spec. Like, I, at least with my armed situation, people may have told me, but I was like, whatever, I didn't talk about it. I just was keeping it going. But if it was something that was bothering you over and over and over again, why didn't

you just immediately book your appointment? No, I did. That's what she said. He did. But this is my problem with him. The appointment, he's fine. It looks nothing. And then he kept talking about the spec.

Oh, no. But tell you. But Teddy, you told me you went in and one person said it was nothing for you too. I need to get expert opinion. Then go get another opinion. I did. And did anything? No.

Okay. And he's still talking about it. No, you're talking about it. Here's the thing. Since you've had the full skin check and about your skin coloring is probably closer to mine. Like we have like a reddish undertone. So, which it really doesn't even matter what your skin tone is. But like you're going to see more.

freckles and more things than probably on your skin. Okay. But go in every six months for a skin check. Yeah, we're on the same side, right? I don't think it's crazy. You've bought and checked twice and we're still talking about the spec. Listen, where is the spec?

Show him the spec. Look at the spec. Hold on, I can't see that. Exactly. How do you think I feel I'm pregnant? He's talking about a fucking speck on his face. We just had a derm on the show. It was, it's a broken blood vessel that's called a chemist something.

I know. I have one right here. And they can. They inject a little something. into it. They burn it off or whatever. Yeah, but it's still talking about it. It kind of sting sometimes when I put some vitamin C on it. I know. Mine does as well. I'm going to name the baby spec. That's my

brother's name. Oh. Your brother's name is speck. Speck wild horse. That's cool. That's kind of a cool name. Beck Wild Horse. Teddy has definitely like you've given us a lot of information. If you see something on your body

anything that's weird, go to the doctor and get your pre. It's called pre-cancer, how do you go, pre-screening? You can go to a dermatologist to do this, but you need to go to a licensed dermatologist. It's not like the random chick you're going to get Botox from. You know, like you go to licensed dermatologist. They do the little, the thing, the light and the thing. Yeah, and they need to check your whole body.

If they're only checking the parts that they can see while you're at. Like your butt hole? That, they'll do it the gynecologist. But yes, they do need to check your butt hole. They need to check in between your toes. they need to check your vagine, all of it but like they're separate doctors

my licensed dermatologist didn't check my virgine but she checked everything else and then I went to the gynecologist and got all the other stuff checked. The person with me was like, sir, put that away we actually need to wear a life. You're actually making me uncomfortable. The spec has been like

the topic of conversation. Let's move on from that. Before you go, you have to tell us about your necklift. People on this podcast on this show who listen, they love beauty tips, tricks. You were so open about that. Tell me, like, do you really, like, love it? Your neck looks, it's the neck is necking. The neck is necking. No, I love it's, you know, I've made a lot of bad decisions. My necklift was not one of them. So I always, no matter, like, how my weight

fluctuated, I always kind of, like, did, had to do this in pictures. And it was because when I went in, Dr. Sharma Sunder, she is incredible because she's also not going to have you do stuff that you don't need done. Okay. Like, so I asked her, I'm like, like, should I get a freeze? Like, should I get thermage? Like, should I get threads? Like, what's happening? No, no threads.

No, no, no. So she said, you know, she touched my neck. She looks. She's like, okay, so here's what your particular issue is. Your hyoid bone, which is the bone that's right here. Okay. Like genetically speaking, I bet if you look around at your family, like your hyoid bone goes like this. So it makes your neck naturally, no matter how taut your skin may be, it's always going to be like out like this.

So I'm like, so what does that mean? Will the aura lift work? And she's like, no. I mean, yeah, 20% better an or a lift work. If you actually want something that'll work, you have to do a necklift because I'm going to have to go in there. I'm not going to use doctor terms, but essentially put a little basket over your. your thing and tighten up that hyoid bone. And then I'll just tighten up the skin.

Because if not, you could do all of the, you know, freezing the fat or whatever. She's like, it's not about the fat on your neck or it's not about loose skin. It's your genetic, like how your body is. So I was like, okay, well, let's go. And then I was like, yeah, I'll document on Instagram and we got ourselves a deal. Did it hurt? No, it hurt more. I had that morphiously.

No. Oh, the high heart. That hurts so bad. So what she said was she's like, while you're under, I'm going to do the morphius laser because it's really painful. And then that way, your recovery, it's all happening at once, which makes sense. But then I, when I woke up, I was like, ha ha. But I was like, hold on. We didn't have surgery up here. Why is it hurting here? And she's like, that's the morphias. But the morphis really works incredibly well. But it does. Yeah. Okay. So the morphias is amazing. I've heard really good things. I just heard. it hurts. And there's also like the CO2. The one that Tamara did, do you see Tamara's documentation with the blue face? She's ice rolling. She's so cute. She's ice rolling. I'm like, you need an ice roller right now. When I saw that she got that done. I had to send her text. I'm like, you might want to wait for the post until you're off the pain meds. Didn't she do the podcast in the situation? That's funny. I was like, hey, Smurf, what's up? You guys are funny. Yeah, she's funny. Also, I do have to shout out. you always go to Pelicure, I know. And Anna is a really good friend of mine, the owner.

We both love Pelicure. If you guys are in L.A., you have to go to me and Teddy's favorite Korean Beachy shower. It's so good. So good. And now they have a new scout massage. Have you done that yet? Michael has. I haven't.

It's the best. I've done it twice. It is so good. And then they give you a blowout afterwards, and it's like a good blowout. It's not like. I thought you were going to say, and then they give you a blow job. I'm like, no wonder, Michael keeps going back. No wonder Michael's always in a good mood when he gets back from Pelicure.

I do not get the blowout, but I did do the thing, and it's like, it's the best. And then they show you like your scalp where there's like extra. And I was like, what? I like wash my hair on a regular basis. Why is my scalp like that? No, pellicure is incredible and always relaxing. Can you imagine my scalp because I only wash my hair three times a month? Woo!

Well, when I said I wash my hair a decent amount of time, I meant like once a week. Okay, okay. It's better for your hair. I mean, it's better for your hair. It's probably not better for my scalp and my tape and extensions. If you do a little massage, I think it's fine. Then you're stimulating the fascia. Okay. That's my theory. I don't know. Perfect. Teddy, I think you're great. You're warm. You're funny. And you're very open on this show. Thank you so much for coming on. Pimp yourself out. Where can everyone find you? Your brand, your podcast, all the things. My Instagram's at Teddy Mellencamp. My podcast is two T's in a pod and Diamond's

in the rough. I would love for you guys to give us a listen. And my accountability program, which people's favorite thing to say right now is how can you hold anyone accountable to anything? For your health and wellness is all in by teddy.com. And if you mention the skinny confidential in your application, I will give you 15% off. You know what? Accountability is not about being perfect. Accountability is, you know what, showing up and doing what you got to do, to make your life better. And if you're going to say that you have to be really perfect to call someone out for not being perfect. Yeah.

You better have perfection going on in your lawn. And you better actually, like, have a picture on your Instagram. If it's one dog and you've got no followers and, like, it's just all these empty boxes, like, I don't want to hear it from you. No. Or if it's a woman picture and there's a God quote, a Bible quote in the pile. I mean, if I could make a parody. Peace, love, and light. You are a bitch-ass.

See you in next Tuesday. Abundant mindset. God is good. P.S. media people and journalists that bring kids into the income is coming for you. Oh, Michael did a zinger. It's true. It's true.

Okay. Teddy Malen camp, come back anytime. Let me know when you want to go over housewives because I can bring my trapper keeper. You're coming in. Thank you, Teddy.