The Bossticks - The Fat Jew Returns! - How Josh Ostrovsky AKA "The Fat Jewish" Conquered The Internet & Sold A Massive Wine Business

Episode Date: April 21, 2020

#262: On this episode we sit down again with our friend Josh Ostrovsky AKA "The Fat Jewish". This is Josh's second appearance on this show. Outside of being a massive online personality, Josh is also an entrepreneur and branding expert responsible for creating Swish Beverages which created White Girl Rose and the Babe family of sparkling wines. In 2019 the company was acquired by Anheuser-Bush. Today we have a well rounded conversation that goes in many different directions. Sit down and enjoy this wild ride! To listen to Josh's first episode on TSC podcast click HERE To connect with The Fat Jew click HERE To learn more about Babe Rose click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by Nutrafol THIRTY MILLION women experience hair loss. But it's not openly talked about, so going through it yourself can feel lonely and frustrating. It's time to change the conversation and join the thousands of women standing up for their strands. Nutrafol is formulated with potent botanicals to help you grow hair as strong as you are and it's physician-formulated to be one hundred percent drug-free. Visit Nutrafol.com and use promo code SKINNY for 20% your order and free shipping.  This episode is brought to you by BETABRAND and their Betabrand dress pant yoga pants. To try these pants go to betabrand.com/skinny and receive 20% off your order. Millions of women agree these are the most comfortable pants you'll ever wear to work.  This Episode is brought to you by Beet Elite   Do what we did. Take your game to the next level with Beet Elite by going to www.LiveHuman.com/skinny and get 20% off your first purchase. The team at Human is making this offer exclusive to our listeners ONLY!  Produced by Dear Media

The following podcast is a dear media production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur. A very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness. Welcome to the skinny confidential, him and her.

Here's the thing. So every time I go and do one of these business school talks, I have like milestones on one head. So we'll be like flying there or whatever. and I'll be like, what can I work in this time? Like, what do you think no one's ever said at Yale Business School? So we were wondering how many times I could get handjob into my talk at Yale Business. Because like, how many times can you get handjob into a business talk without it being ridiculous? I was able to get in there seven times.

I said handjob at Yale Business School seven times. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the skinny confidential him and her podcast. You've got us live from our house. Wow, it's like Groundhog Day, isn't it? It is like Groundhog Day. That clip was from our guest of the show today. many of you may know him online as the fat Jew. His name is Josh Ostrosky, and he is here to give a lighthearted, fun, always informational episode for you guys here today. It is, this one goes all over the place.

Don't listen to this episode if you have kids in the house, maybe go to another room. I would say the car, but don't listen to this episode if you have kids in your neighborhood or if there's kids within 50 yards of wherever you are. This is, this one gets out there. But guys, we felt, you know, this episode was recorded with Josh in the studio with a shitload of Babe Rose. Taylor joined us as well. We had a lot of fun with it. It was in the studio pre-COVID, pre-quarantine. Like literally, I think the Friday before all of this hit the fan and we all had to quarantine ourselves. So when you listen to it, keep in mind that, you know, it was recorded before we all had to go on lockdown. But we felt, you know, do we hold the episode? Do we keep it? The reason we wanted to put it out

is because I think everybody could use a little bit of lighthearted, you know, easy content. And this one definitely is. It's so weird because we got to kiss on the cheek, which is like so early 2020. We can't do that anymore. Josh and I had a little like tongue kiss on the cheek. Can't do that. But like Michael said, this was recorded pre-COVID, but I'm so happy to release it right now because I feel like what the world needs, the energy of the world, is a laugh.

I feel like we all just need to loosen up and laugh and not take ourselves too seriously. So hopefully Josh can bring a little light into your day. Yeah, and this was a fun episode. You know, like I said, it was, COVID was just starting to happen. All of us, we didn't really know the impact it was going to have, but we, you know, obviously it's impacted all of us greatly. This is Josh's second time on the podcast for those of you that are OG listeners. The first time, I think it was either, it may have been the last time,

Lauren and I did a Skype interview. We just really don't like doing Skype interviews. It's hard to, you know, I mean, maybe we're going to have to do more of them now, either Skype or Zoom because of everything going on. But, you know, we really like to be in person with a guest. So we had him on. I don't think it was nearly what this episode is. You guys be the judge because, you know, it was over Skype.

We couldn't see each other. We didn't really like know how to interact. So, and it was early and we were very rookie. We also had some, some drinks in this episode. We got loose. Oh, yeah, we get loose on this episode. We popped our puss. But anyway, guys, this was a fun, lighthearted episode.

So for those of you that do not know who Josh is, he built a, you know, he's built a massive brand for himself. He describes himself as basically the fat Jew. He's an American celebrity writer, actor, model, and winemakers and entrepreneur. And I would really, you know, when I say that I'm dead serious about it. He really, really built a massive brand with Swiss beverages, which launched White Girl Rose. I'm sure many of you have had it and drinking.

And then also the Babe family of sparkling wine and canned wines that he later announced and sold to Anheuser Bush, the people that own Budweiser for, and I won't say, Josh, but a shitload of money. We also have a code for you guys at the end of this episode for. Babe Rose, so get excited. Get your pen out for that one. I would buy a lot. I would stock up.

It's very Instagram-y, and I have massive respect for him because he is a fucking brand builder. Yep. And for those of you that don't think that maybe you've seen his online meme content and you're like, oh, I wonder what's going on here.

Is this serious? So you know, the acquisition for Swiss beverages by Anheuser-Busch is the brewer's largest wine investment to date. So, you know, it's an impressive number. Impressive. Josh, welcome back on the show. Before we get into the show with Josh, let's talk about hair. So since I had the baby, my hair has been thinner. Sometimes it falls out in the shower, which is not ideal. So I have been wanting to work with a brand that really

promotes hair growth. And this is a brand that I've known about for a long time. I've actually spoken to the founder multiple times. And finally, I started trying it. And I already feel like my hair has gotten thicker. So I feel like women don't talk about this a lot. They don't talk about thinning hair, but nearly half of all women experience hair loss at an early age, like as early as 40, sometimes 30, and especially after birth. So I know that feels scary, which is why I really wanted to broach this subject on the blog and on the podcast, and I'll continue to talk about it. Okay, so the brand is called Nutraful, and it's basically formulated with a bunch of potent botanicals that help your hair grow strong. And this is really important. You don't just want to grow hair, right?

you want to grow strong hair. And you should also know before we get into this whole thing that it's 100% drug-free. It's a natural, clinically effective botanicals for better hair. Basically, what you do is you go to NeutralFol.com and you take their hair wellness quiz. So I went and took the quiz, and then you get a customized product recommendation and you just take it with your vitamins every day. And I want to say that they also make it for men. So, you know, you can take a quiz for yourself and then maybe the man in your life. Give a hint. Give a little hint, hint. It's not always just a about genetics. There's many factors that can play a role into hair growth. So you can grow thicker, healthier hair and support the skinny confidential him and her show by going to

NutraFold.com and using promo code Skinny to get 20% off. This is the best offer available anywhere. Anywhere right now, you guys, you get free shipping on every order. You get 20% off at NutraFold.com. promo code Skinny. Again, their best offer anywhere. 20% off at NutraFold.com. That's N-U-T-R-A-F-F-O-L-L. promo code skinny for hair as strong as you are. Okay, you're ready for Josh? This is the skinny confidential, him and her. I'm confused about something. Now I'm doing the interview. Okay. Please. Never eaten her butt, not one time. No, no, no. There's been a couple slips here in there. But not in recent memory. After birth. Right. We haven't even got the okay for me to have sex yet. The baby's five weeks old right now. Right. So we went through kind of a

period of nine months of that. There's a lot of masturbation going on. Right. You know, Doctor has not given the okay. And I heard right now that if, you know, what is it? Right after you get the first ovulation, like you are fertile right again. And I don't think we're not trying to do the Irish twin thing. I'm trying to jump this thing right off. No, we take a little time. Totally.

Take a breather. Take a breather. I know some people like going into that where they get birth and the next one's right. That's too much for me. I am going to suggest something that I find to be very romantic. Sort of the romantic version of anal, which is missionary anal, massively underrated. No one does missionary anal. Most straight couples don't do that.

Missionary anal. Yeah, sort of legs up. but then it's nice because you can maintain eye contact. That's a bold position. I gotta be honest, though. I don't want to maintain eye contact if I'm doing anal. I hear you. But it depends.

Is it a date night? I mean, sometimes it's like, it depends what you're looking for. Anal sometimes can be impersonal. You're back there, you're by your, everybody's by themselves. Super isolating. Listen, I'm not saying anything bad against anal.

For me, personally, I'm not a huge anal fan. I'd actually rather give a blow job. Interesting. Let me tell you something. If Corona wasn't here, we would have never put the tongs. You see, that's a nice touch. I just looked over and you were just holding tongs.

Yeah, Tongues in the ice. If it wasn't, I would have gone hands deep, but I want to respect the guests. Oh, I see. In the era of Corona now, you go tongs. You go tongs deep. Yeah, yeah. Taylor also took the ice out himself and I saw a lot of dirt under his fingernails.

The minute I saw him, I was like, something is up with this guy. I was like, what's in this fucking guy's browser history? Like, what is this guy looking at? It took like three seconds for me to ascertain. Taylor, what is in your browser history? I don't know. I'd have to think about it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Real hot. I was going to show you his dick lines because you said Tony has great dick lines. I don't have any at the moment, but when I worked out, I did. I had a deep V. You had a capital V? Yeah.

He did not. He did not. I swear to God, I did. Well, I was saying some gay dudes call them the cum gutters. They're also known as suck-mees. There's a bunch of different sort of nomenclature for the dick lines. What do they call dick lines with tons of razor burn? Because he shaves everything.

Oh, that was like, that was your vibe? That was his vibe. Like bumpy, like bumpy dick lines. I really don't think girls like hair. No matter what, I'm telling you, girls don't like hairy. Wait, you shave all of your pubs? Well, yeah, I mean, yes, I do it. Fucking creep.

I love that. I love that. But the worst part, though, is he doesn't do a good job. It's like just, you know, it's like, you from Jacksonville? He doesn't use Tenskin. I mean, what are you supposed to do, though? What's Tenskin? That's what it wraps up.

Of all people that should know about Tenskin in this room, it should be you. Yeah. Yeah. I tried Vaseline. No. Thick Vaseline. Cocoa butter. Oh, my God.

It was a nightmare. Nothing like going down. I thought you were gay for the first three minutes. No, definitely not. And I was like, yeah. But honestly, that's hot, though. Because I feel like you could also be the time of the guy who's into like energy. You know, it's not about gender.

You know what I mean? You don't see, it's a construct. You just feel the energy and you go in. Gender doesn't matter. It's like a connection thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, but not, I mean, more or less the one gender thing. Right, okay, okay.

But like, it's 2020. So maybe just like, you know. So you were on the show before. We did Skype, which wasn't as intimate. We said that earlier. So we wanted you to come in the studio. We actually wanted to drink. Get some coconut oil loo.

I already started. You're drinking the red with the bubble. Well, that's the one he suggested. Let me try this really quick. Actually, one last thing for you back there, horny guy. Yeah. There's not one last thing. We can keep going on.

No, no, no. One thing that I've been hearing, that's good. A way to do it is actually a good place to look for, you know, humans to have sex with, female humans, is on Facebook marketplace. Because, and you look for women who are selling wedding dresses. Yeah. Really? That's like a thing. Say that tip again for my Instagram story, please, because that was a good one.

Say it again. That is a thing. If you go on, everybody's like, oh, I'm going to like try to have sex from Instagram or like TikTok, Snapchat. But guess what? Go on Facebook marketplace and look for women who are selling wedding dresses. Because honestly, they're in a bad place. So do you, what's the way to do? You buy it first?

You could buy it. Yeah. That would be nice, actually. If you purchased it. Help them out a little? Totally. How about that was like the new wave? There's a lot of people that need this information.

This motherfucker is like taking notes. What the fuck? Super curious. Super curious. You like buy it first or? Can you go incognito mode? Right. Totally. No, that's a pro tip.

Okay, so yeah, I was on before. We Skyped. It, like, just wasn't. We weren't really able to, like, intertwine ourselves. Yeah, like intertwe, like really intertwined. So we wanted to have you in the studio. We wanted to do, like, a tasting on air. But first, like, give us a little bit of background for the audience. I mean, I'm sure everyone knows you.

But how did the fat Jew become the fat Jew? Who's not fat at all, by the way? No. I was going to say skinny season. That's an announcement that I have. I have AIDS. I know. You have some cock lines coming in now, too.

No, no, I'm just kidding, it's Coke. It's just coke. I've been on a bender. My personality has gotten exponentially worse, but my body looks good. That's really all the matter. Really good. No, I like got a little too, I got a little too Shrek. My body type was like a little too Shrek.

So I was like, let's go in a different direction. And now I'm trying to get. I'm like, so I was like, got to monetize everything. So I was like doing Weight Watchers. And then I just now I'm like the face of Weight Watcher. Is that true? Wait, is that true? Yeah.

So you content marketed to get a deal with Weight Watchers. No. I actually just did it for real, which is weird, because I had never worked with a brand that I actually cared about. Like, not one time. Like, normally, I was just like, whatever. Like, I literally don't give a shit. Whatever you want, I'm down. I will ride.

I'll promote, I do not care. It's a CBD tampon company. I use them all the time. Like, I'll say anything. I don't care. Flat tummy tea. Totally, doesn't matter. Sugar bear hair.

You name it. Okay. Honestly. So, like, when I actually started using it and then got a meeting with them, I was like, this is weird. I actually, like, use this. This is weird that I would promote something I'd give a fuck about. And it, like, wasn't that hard. So now, hopefully I can get tick lines and start fucking men.

Wait, hold on. So, like, I'm just going to get really, really micro here with you. Like, you started doing Weight Watchers, like, on your own. Mm-hmm. And so you're counting points in the morning and in the afternoon and at night. Pretty much, yeah. So how are you counting your Roseanne in there? I like a glass of Rose.

Well, the thing is, yeah. Well, you got to save up a little bit. Like, Rose has some points. How many points? I think ours, like a can of ours probably has, like, three or four points. But that's not that many. That's not that bad. How many can you have a day?

It depends on your body type. Okay. For me, I can have like 37, but like for you, it's like you'd probably have like 29. Okay. Yeah. So you were counting your points every day. Yeah. I'm married to a woman.

And my wife's mom has like just the sickest body. She's just like in her fucking late 50s and she is just like she has like, you know, she's. I love how he's talking about his wife's mom. She's chill chopped in the face. Yeah. And like her hair is just super dry. Like I just use, you have to change like conditioners every six months or like your hair is going to build a bit immunity.

She's been using the same conditioner for 37,000 years. So her hair has split ends. But whatever, her body is sick. So I was like, what is she doing? And then she was like, I do this shit. And I was like, well, this has been working for like since the beginning of time. Plus Oprah. I was going to say.

Honestly, anything to just suck Oprah's dick, like metaphorically speaking. Totally. Yeah. So like anything to get closer. So I was like, how can I get close to Oprah? Right. That's pretty much like how this kind of all. That was really the point.

So you actually lost all this weight from Weight Watchers. There was no Adderall involved. No, I mean, like, I've been doing... No, no, no, no, I've been counting points and there's coke. Okay, I just want to know the whole diet. Coke has zero points across the board. Okay, okay. Yeah, no, there have been days where I'm going like full, I'm basically a Serbian,

I'm a Serbian model. Okay, yeah, yeah, totally. I just want to get the whole landscape. You're like Jared of Subway, but minus the child pedophilia. Minus the pedophilia, right, right. Because he lost all the weight and then they hired to be the face of Subway. Right, that's right. And minus the khakis.

That guy, like I loved a pair of khakis. What are you Googling over there? You know Jared of Subway. He was that, he was very large, lost all the weight eating Subway, eating sandwiches, and then they hire a master. It's not Way Watchers now. What is it? It's WWW.

Oh, WWW. Yes. They've like, they've gone. They rebranded. Oh, they rebranded. So now I get a chance to suck Oprah off. And now Oprah knows who I am. Like Oprah watched.

I guess Oprah had to like approve my content. So like Oprah watched it and they were like, we got to get the sign off from a. Wait, why do I imagine a commercial of you and Oprah together? You guys did a commercial together, didn't you? No, we did not do a commercial together. I would, there's nothing. That would be the top. Did they green screen it?

No. I could have sworn there's a- They didn't splice you guys into the same commercial? There's a scene that I've seen of you get, you were getting a pedicure with someone. Madonna. Oh, whoops. You know what? I'm going to fucking go.

Yeah. My Uber's here. Yeah. Seriously. Madonna, excuse me. Yes. We need to do some better research here. So Madonna and I did a series of commercials for the Roseae and for her skin care line.

Okay. Yes. Do you use that? to suck Madonna's dick simultaneously. She gave me like some, she gave me like some like tools that they have that are like super futuristic Japanese

that all look like anal probe dildos that you like rub onto your face and it like gets like lymphatic blood drainage or whatever moving. I'm obsessed. And it's $25,000. But the thing about that was was that me and her then started hanging out

because she is fucking down. Like within like 10 minutes of meeting her, she was talking, she was like, and then I gave Dennis Rodman a hand job. And I was like, yes. And then, And then you dive your hair like Dennis Rodman.

No, so actually, that's funny. You say that. So Dennis Robyn and I have been DMing, and each month he's picking a different Dennis Rodman look for me. Like I have the, in the back of my head is there was a smiley face. Okay. See that? He had the smiley. So he's picking my hair each month.

Wow. Anyway, so she's like, within 10 minutes of meeting her, we're like going off. Like, we're full best friends. And I was like, this is crazy because like after someone is famous for 40 years, you figure they're going to be an actual psychopath that's like not from Earth. Who is a psychopath that you've met? Oh, there's so. What?

Give us like a little bit. All of them. The end of that story, by the way, is that I then went to, I was in Europe and went to Portugal and went to her house and slept over to her house. We just sleep over. Like we didn't sleep in the same room. Did you get a hand job like Dennis Rodman? No, I honestly.

Did she give you a hand job and then leave the room after? You said she didn't sleep in the room, but you didn't say yes or no. That's true. But you're forgetting one fact is that I can't get hurt anymore. Yes. From wait-watchers. You're forgetting. You're forgetting one thing is that I cannot achieve.

Okay. So we had a sleepover and I've talked about this before. I was like, what do you want to do? And I was like, we should do sleepover stuff. And she was like, I'm completely down. And then I was like, can we make a prank phone call? And then she'd let me go through her phone and make a prank phone call. And then she, we called Bono.

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brand.com slash skinny for 25% off. And like I said, grab the black ones. All right, let's get back into the show. You crank phone call Bono. Yes. What's that go like? So Bono didn't pick up. Then he called back later. And then she just like let me talk to him. So wasn't so much a prank at that time because she picked up. He knew it was her. And then she was just like, He wants to ask you some questions because she was like, have you ever heard of him? And he was like, who the fuck is that? Like, which, by the way, no shit. And then I asked him if, like, he wears the purple glasses in the shower.

And when he takes off the purple glasses. Does he have a beautiful day? Does he have smaller purple glasses underneath his purple glasses? Like, I had so many fucking questions. And then I was just like, this is so sick that we're having like an actual or having an actual fucking sleepover. In terms of who's a psychopath. I mean, I don't really go a list usually. Like I'm a.

Give us a D list. I'm a Z list. I'm a Z list. I'm a Z list. Zela, because the thing about the A-listers are is that they're mad fucking born. Yeah. Too guarded.

Yeah, they're all not- They all have PR in the room. No. This is, see how there's no PR in the room? Listen, I built this thing I did in town. Like, listen, if they want to bring their PR, they all have to cram in that tiny corner and stand there like this. You're like, Lisa, Lisa, other Lisa.

All of you stand in this fucking corner. Karen Lisa and Barb. Because our thing is like, you know, you bring the PR in the room. We're still going to ask the question. It's going to be super awkward when you just stare in the corner. A D. A D. Like, even, I mean, I'll take a Q list.

celebrity. I just look, look, I've spent a lot of time with the New York House wives. I knew you're going to say that. And like, they are at, the thing about them is that you hope that like, when they turn off the camera, they're not going to be like, well, another great episode. W.B. Frog. Nothing worse. No. Like, I'm going to just like, I'm going to go, like, listen to NPR. They are fucking not okay. Like, they are physically and mentally, all of them are unwell. Lou Ann. She, I mean, she's one of our, like, nothing but respect for my president. Like, she is one of our greatest actual treasures. Okay.

She is like a full-blown treasure. I can't, she like texts me, but I'm not sure she knows she's texting me. And also, because she's like, honey, like she can't get out of Cabaret at this point. Like every text. She's like, what are you doing this weekend? Is it going to be whimsical? And I'm like, who the fuck says whimsical? What are you saying?

Did you see when, you know, that episode when Sonia's dress like flew up? So I took that video. I was sitting in the front row, took the video. There were just like 8,000 gay men in the room shrieking and weeping. And I was like, this woman is doing the Lord's work. Like, this is some of the greatest showmanship I've ever seen. What about Ramona? And she's, like, falling in the shrubs, like in Palm Beach and, like, screaming a police

officers. Ramona hates me. Why? Because every, I don't know, every time I see it, she's like, well, what's, what's the hair? Why does your hair look like that? Why do you look like that? Why are you looking at all your penises?

What is your thing? I don't understand. What's your thing? What are you doing? And I'm always like, you're, but she keeps it fucking real. Like, she is exactly the fucking same. And then I- Does she blink? You know how she blinks?

Yeah. No, that's what I'm saying. Like, none of them are different. Like, you know that when they're turning off the camera, some people are just, like, not that type. Are you a Bethany fan? Because in life, you're either a Bethany fan or you're not. I am. Bethany and I knew each other from really, really early on, like first.

So I interviewed them, because I was on the E-Channel. Okay. I was on a show called The Daily Ten. And I interviewed them. I swear, it must have been in the first few months of the show. What year was that? 2008? Early, okay.

Yeah, like, early. Early. And so I, and, like, we really, like, hit it off. because she's just like, you know, we're relatively talking about the same shit. She's got a foul mouth. Like, she's done to talk about, like I could hit her at any time.

We could just talk about missionary anal with eye contact. Yeah. Smart. Totally. The thing is, if you can get deep on the inside with the A-listers, like they're all into fucking weird shit, like everybody's gay and doing really, really chill shit, but it's really fucking hard to get in on the inside.

And a lot of them don't trust me because then they're like, oh, you're going to go on a podcast and like you're all going to drink a bunch of fucking rosé and, like, play with coconut oil, and you're going to tell the fucking story. And they're not, and they're not wrong. But if anyone can penetrate the A list, literally figuratively, it's you. I feel like you could possibly get in with like a bad thing. No, I get it because you're a loose cannon, which is what we love.

That's what some of them want. And then some of them are like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. You know what I think? I think that they look at you as like the antithesis of everything that they want to be. Like, they look at you and they're like, my whole life has been so closed off and not vulnerable and, like, not been able to just be myself. And they look at you and it's like, they're probably intrigued. I mean, I would be honest, that's the best thing about the internet.

Yeah, totally. It's the best thing about it. You can just like own every aspect of everything. So the internet's so tight. Imagine what Tom Cruise does behind doors. No, that's what I'm saying. See, I'm trying to go to that level. That's the farthest level, by the way.

That's what I'm saying. I'm trying to go into the spaceship. Mission impossible. I want to be sucked up into the spaceship. Holy shit. I'll be the full Scientologist. I don't care. You would?

Yes. First of you ever had the brunch at the Scientology Center? No. It's $20. Okay. And it's fucking sick. Yeah, but then they mail you stuff for the rest of your life. It's honestly, it's worth the $20 brunch.

I'm not even joking. I swear to God, like buttery, very, very flaky croissants. You can't drink. No, that you cannot do. You cannot like turn the fuck up. No, I know. I feel you. I know.

I feel you. It's disgusting. But also, like, the spread is like, it's really, really. It's a very, very six-strap. Well, I imagine it's a high class affair. They got a lot of money in there. People like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, they got to be taken care of. They're not going to eat shit.

They only take care of the top of the top of the top of the top of the top. What happens everybody else? There's nothing. No, they have like, fucking the fruit spread is killer. I'm not talking like honeydew, none of that shit. I would love to see a documentary where you go undercover and, like, just explain Scientology to everyone. I would fuck. I would get butt-fucked by Tom Cruise in order to get a good story.

So would Michael, you would too. That's the level I would take it to to get a good story. Michael would just get butt-fucked by Tom Cruise, like in general. Because you like Tom Cruise. Well, listen, Tom Cruise me all day. I mean, those movies can't argue with masterpieces. Right, right. I mean, I don't know personally, I'm sure, but come on.

You can't argue with greatness. Okay, so how did the fat Jew become the fat Jew? Oh, we just went on. Sorry, tangent. Somehow we ended up talking about having anal sex with Tom Cruise. So I was just like an idiot of the internet. I used to do like a lot of shit for like for vice and like TV stuff. And I was just like basically being a moron trying to make a scene, like just trying to like get people talking.

That went on for a while. And then Instagram came around and that like became the platform, which at first I thought that Instagram was actually going to be like kind of a shitty platform for me because Lord Zuckerberg has like a bunch of rules. So I got kicked off like three times. and so then I held a protest outside their office. Chained myself, you can watch it. It's like on the internet. I can chain myself to their office and like my rabbi came and like all these all these Muppets that I put it up on Twitter and was like,

I'm having a rally, like come to the rally. And I've said this before when you get a permit to have a rally in New York, you get like cops and barricades. Like you get the full works if you apply for the permit. So like all these cops show up and they're like, yeah, I don't know. This guy, like someone took this computer. Like they don't understand why they're there.

Meanwhile, like actual crimes are being committed like throughout New York City. people are like dying meanwhile there are my Instagram rally and 17 minutes later they were just like get this guy the fuck out of here so some girl was like you're about on Instagram and I was like no I'm not like refresh your page and then she was like no you are

and I was like oh no really I am so at first I was like wait this is bad for me because that was more like tumblery you know I was putting up like a photo of like a stiletto like jammed into a dickhole you know and I was like you guys love this right and they were all we talked about E-Bombs world last time I think we did talk about it we probably did

I mean I am like a yeah my gross photo game is like I would put myself on the Mount Rushmore of like gross. Yeah, you're not, you will probably find yourself after this on the text list and you can never get off. So if you're gonna go challenge,

accept it on this, just no. I'm in. And if you ever try to get off, you get twice. I let one girl off. Anyway, this is a different thing.

But I have like a text list that I send out like the absolute worst photos you could possibly imagine. Like whatever you've seen, it's far past. Give him tips on how to eat a butthole after birth. Oh, send me visuals in the text chain.

Okay, that's fine. Perfect. I'm a visual guy. Okay, you're a visual learner. So after that, Once I, like, sort of kind of worked out with Zuckerberg, and I was like, wait a minute, actually, this is kind of better for me because I can expand out the age demographics of my audience. Because my audience from, like, the vice days and shit was mostly like 20-something maniacs. You know, it was like college guys and like people in their 20s who were just like, you know, smoke and Coke and like being crazy.

But then I was like, wait a minute. Instagram gives me a chance to like probably now I have like eight-year-olds who come up to me and are like, you're not that fine anymore. You know, and like seven-year-old women like sloshing Pino being like, I love your me-mes. you know, with like really good rhinoplasty. So I realized like, wait a minute, this is a chance to probably use this. At first, because at first I was like, fuck the rules. Like, why is over Lord Zuckerberg like trying to hold me down? But then I was like, this seems like a chance to go mainstream.

It kind of exploded from there. Like, I was really just doing it from my fucking shitty friends and like a couple other people that like knew who I was in New York. And then it just kind of like, it just sort of exploded from there. And then it like became kind of overwhelming because I was like, wait, there are like real people like actually looking at this. I remember one time, like, Brooke Shields came up to me in the West Village, like, put her hands over my eyes from behind, but we've never met before. And she was like, guess who?

She was like, she was so, like, midday Liddy. And she was like, guess who, bitch? And then I turned around and I was like, oh, I would never have guessed that. I, like, thought it was a girl that I went to Jewish summer camp with named Jessica. And I turned around and was like, what do you mean guess? You're Brooke Shields. We've never met. And then she was like, I love your Instagram.

I can live for your Instagram. And then that kind of like got into my head because I was like, wait, every time I posted me, I'd be like, is Brooke going to like this? What if Brooke doesn't like this? What if Brookin follows me. Because prior to that, there's like millions of people on there, but it doesn't feel, it doesn't actually feel like there's millions of people. It's just a number and you're just like throwing shit. When you go out, do people come up to you all the time?

Yes. Yes. But it's like the thing about it is like, it's actually like, it's funny because we were talking about A-List celebrities. Like when you see an A-List celebrity, like, you don't go up. No, it's like seeing a fucking exotic bird. You're like, oh my God, there's George Clooney. You're like, George Clooney.

You talk in the softest. Like, you go full and Frank voice. and like no one can hear you. And you're like, oh my God. And you don't do shit. In fact, you don't even, you basically don't talk. You're all mouthing at each other.

But I think when you're sort of a person of the internet, and I mean, you might experience this also, like people feel connected to you. You're in their hand when they're pooping. You're in their hand when they're, you know,

it's more personal. Yes, when they're breastfeeding and when they're at a funeral. I mean, times we're looking at Instagram. And they just, they feel a connection. You can't be that connected to someone through like a movie screen. You just can't.

You love them, but you're not connected to them. So like people are coming, like, not only are they not being like, oh my God, look, it's fat you. They're coming up to me and like some dude is like grabbing my dick and being like, what's that brother? And I'm like, okay, all right, hell yeah. All right. And honestly, that's really cool. Like I'm really into that. But, you know, it's honestly with women, it's great because like women, guys do not know how to like, they don't know.

Here's the thing. Guys who come up to me are the worst because they get like super grabby, you know, which is fine. Like I'm down. It's like broie, kind of like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just like, get over here. Like, you're fucking hilarious. Like, like, let's touch our dicks.

And then he's, like, not hot, and he's, like, from Philly. You know what I mean? I'm not trying to, like, braid my dick together with his. Taylor was trying to do that to you when you walked in. I would love to do a dick, Chalo with you, like, a nice braid. You don't want the razor room. Women, though, are worse. By the way, I'm not saying this is, like, my celebrity issue.

I'm just saying, like, on the Z list. The issue with women is more that women do not care. Like, I could be on the phone being, like, mom died on the safari. And they'd be like, oh, my God, I'm so annoying. I would never do this, but can I have a picture? I'm so annoying. How annoying am I? And I'm like, my mom, my mom just died. My mom actually died. By the way, I'll take the picture of you. I've never turned someone down. I would never. I can't turn someone down for a picture because I'm not famous enough. Quick break. Let's change it up. We're going to talk about Beat Elite and workouts. So I know you guys are doing a lot of workouts at home. I can imagine. Trust me. I am too. I get it. And Beat Elite is there for you before your workout. So what this does is it helps extend endurance, improve energy and stamina and promotes oxygen efficiency throughout your body. So you can take it before your workout. It's super, super easy to use.

So it's this pre-workout. It's a beet powder and it helps you fuel your body before your next workout. You could just add it to your smoothie or your water, ice water, little lemon. It's delicious. And like I said, it's going to give you some energy, which we all need right now, especially since we're working out at home. It's made from high-quality beats, which is all non-GMO. It's sourced in the USA.

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livehuman.com slash skinny. With that, let's get back into the show. That's like the girl that when you sleep with them, they say, by the way, I never do this. I never have a one-night stand. Totally. But I guess I'll make the exception. And then she's taking anal missionary.

Right, exactly. They're like, this is so annoying and would never happen in any universe, but it's happening right now. Of course, right now. And I'm like, well, okay. So that's like, that can be a little intense. But overall, it's really, it's really sick. So from there, basically, I was like, how long are people going to be interested in this for? Like, how long are people going to be interested in like a guy with, like, fucking anal beads on his head with, like, who looks like Shrek?

Because, like, tastes are changing every two seconds and, like, things become hot. You know, if you're, if you're, like, an A-list or, like, you can be famous for longer. Like if you're on the zee, like your, your window is relatively short, especially in like fun stuff. I mean, I'm not a comedian. I've literally never been in a fucking comedy club. I get put in that box because like that's just what is easy. But for someone, for people like you, it's like a little more lifestyley in there. But for like funny people, like especially as you get older, people are just like, nope.

Kids are like, no, absolutely not. Like this. We hate this. So tastes are changing like constantly. We're all interested in things for like five seconds. And I was like, well, I got to take something. Like I got to, I have to create something that I can like. that will have a sort of an evergreen presence.

But you did something different though, because a lot of them, I mean, there's a lot of those, like, I would say like meme accounts, but you've made it about you. Yeah. So I don't think you're that, you're not as expendable.

No, that's true. Because a lot, and the other thing is a lot of these people who run these like meme accounts. I don't know who the fuck they are. I don't know. There's no face. Let me tell you.

I have met them. And they are fucking, they are weird. Like, none of them are funny. They are like basically like basement dwellers who like live in their mom's basement. Girl with no job is amazing. I've met her before.

But she's like a... You'd love her. She's like on the camera. We've met a couple times. You should go on her show, the morning toast. I'm telling you. You guys would jive. Yeah, she, I think I looked at her thing once and she was like in the bathtub, like,

screaming about Ramona Singer. So like your personality. Yeah, I guess relatively. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. Like you guys would jive. I'm telling you. But she has like a vibe.

She's like a person. Some of these like there are no, there's like an admin who like runs it. And they have like big offices. They have like open cons. Some of these are like things are like companies now. They have like open concept Soho Lofts that are like sunsplashed and people are just like clicking away on computers. What does it rhyme with? Finding content.

Oh, you want like a name? Yeah. What is it right? No, there's many of them. Okay. There's many of them. But these people are like not funny. Like you meet them and you're like, oh my God, I think you're autistic.

Like not in like a cute special way. Like in a like what is how are you doing a thing? Like people think you're funny but they never. Then they're like, hi, what's up? Like I run this page. And I'm like, holy shit. Like you got breastfed until you were 11. And so I try.

I don't consider myself that. But at the same time, even though I wasn't fused into it, it's just like appetite for stuff like this is relatively short. So I was like, I got a star in a consumer brand. Because, you know, repping for the, like, doing brand work was, I was into it. But it just didn't seem like something that was going to last me forever. So I wanted to like create something that would actually fucking like.

Okay. But how did you even think to team up with Babe Walker? Because her books were around before you had your meme account, right? She's not a woman. I know. She's like a fake. It's like a fake thing. It's two Jewish men.

Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. It's two like hot brothers. Oh. Yeah. Okay. There's just like a tall, hot brother. So they created this like name, Babe Walker.

How did you think to do that? Are you like friends with the two back? Yes, I know them. Okay. I know them. So when they were like on Twitter, I was on Twitter and then we were all like, we were all at a silent ashram in Toronto. Of course you were.

No, no. No, we were not. We met in a jacuzzi. We were all in the same chakuzzi. And they were, I was just like, oh, they were like, oh, you're the like moron from Twitter. And then I was like, yeah. And they were like, oh, we were like, like, oh,

were from Twitter, but obviously I didn't recognize them because they were Jewish men and not Babe Walker the social aid. People are like very upset when they find out that that is two Jewish men. People are like, Babe Walker is my fucking spirit animal. And I'm like, you know, it's two Jewish guys. And they're like, are you? They're like, fuck you. No, they're mad. They hate it. They're furious. So it felt like the right thing. And I had the guys behind it I had written TV shows with. And we wrote my book together. There's a fat you book. That's pretty over the top and ridiculous. But I like got blocked from me in the New York Times. A seller list because I was like gaming the system. And I was throwing radio. called like rave to read.

And if you came to the rave, you got a book. You know what I'm pissed that it took so long for us to do this again? It's because we like, we're going through so much because there's literally so much that's happened since we, I looked at the date. It was July of 2017 that we first spoke. Think about how many things you've done since then. And that's what, now we're just like going through it so fast, but you literally like built a massive wine brand and sold it to Anheuser-Busch, right? When we last talk before this even happened, it was like you're going, there's a shitload that happened. You were talking about how you went on like a

plane to Dubai and like people were paying you to it's just like, yes. So just imagine. Wait, was that when I saw the ostrich? Yes. Yes, Bradley Cooper the ostrich. Yeah, so think about the time span there. That was fucking weird. People are probably like, what the fuck are they talking about? I thought it was an alpaca. No, it was an ostrich. It's a fucking alpaca. Yeah, I'd like to meet a fucking alpaca.

Alpacas are also not that expensive. Like, you can buy one. But yeah, and it was the wasabi peas with Kanye West. That's right. That's exactly right. Next time you come on him and address Taylor as an alpaca. So actually, okay, cute. That's some cosplay. Yeah. That's some definite cosplay. There's a huge market. There's a huge marketplace for that. Okay.

Like on the internet. Men will pay you for that. So, yeah, actually, that was something I have gotten away from since I've been, like, doing the wine, like, the wine thing has grown so much since we last off. It's wild. Because back then, that what we were talking about was, like, back then was, like, people, if you invited me somewhere in my DMs, I would go. That it can happen anymore.

Fucking Kinsenera. There's just, like, less time. Because now, like, I do, we basically sold the fuck out. Like, we sold the company to Anheuser-Busch. And now they, like, make me work. They're, like, I, like, do things. How long do you have to be working for them? or with them, I should say.

Yeah. It'll be like, it'll be like two to three years. Yeah, but like we're already in it. So you have like a scope of work that you have to complete or is it just like appearances? Well, no, now it's sick because now I, no, I run like all the marketing. So like when we like, but it's sick. Which you should because.

Yeah. I mean, now I have serious money. So like, but what's crazy is now we have like 70 employees and like people are like, do we match on 401K? And I'm like, bitch, I don't know. Do I look like the person to ask? Like the start of this company is a joke. It was supposed to be like a troll that went completely.

wrong in all the right ways. And, but now I'm like, I say things that I want to do because we have this marketing money and people actually do it. And then I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, I'm just saying shit. I'm like, we should just get a monster truck. You know what I mean? For like no reason.

And we should like, you know, like, I have all these wild ass ideas. And then like all of a sudden, like a woman who went to like an Ivy League school comes in is like, so I put together the monster. I put together the monster truck program. Like, you know, like we're doing all. We're doing it. We're like, we've made Bay branded plan B pills like for everyone in the country. Whatever.

any kind of shit that's coming out of my mouth. Then I'm like, oh, right, you're like taking me seriously. Do you have carte blanche or just do whatever you want in the marketing world? Pretty much for the most, like for the most part. I have to give you a compliment. I refer to you all the time because as a blogger, I get so many packages. And I don't, I don't say that as like a brag. I mean, we get a lot of packages.

And to have something that stands out in this space is, it's rare. And even if it's like Chanel like nail polishes like 800, like your packaging, stands out more because you appeal to the ego. Yeah. You personalize it. Did we send you, was there a butt plug in there? Honestly.

No. Where the fuck's my butt plug, Tony? Those are like the, yeah, Tony. Hey, Tony. I would have put that in a flat lay on my feed. That would have been on the table with the, yeah.

Oh, love a butt plug and a flat leg. Seriously. That's like, no one said that ever in the same time. No one ever. I said all those words, but not together in that sentence.

No. And you do millennial pink. Like you just, you hit all the three things. We're just like we're fun. We're slutty. But you guys like all, The amount of money that you spend on each box is different than, like I said, a Chanel 800 nail polish.

But I'm more inclined to snap this and put this on my Instagram story because it strokes the ego and its personal. It's millennial pink. To give you a serious compliment, like we actually do use this company and you as an example of proper marketing all the time. Because there's so many brands that are just so, they're just throwing shit against the wall. No, but it's true. It's true. Do you guys want to go use the book? The billboards, the original billboards, genius.

Oh, those are like. Yeah, the billboards. They've toned us down a little bit. Like, I have a little bit. But, like, we had, we had the one in West Hollywood that just said gay beer, which was, like, huge. And then we had the ones on the way to Coachella. We do one on the way to Coachella, like, every year. Although, actually, I guess we should do one this year because there, like, is no Coachella.

Like, Ghost Town Coachella billboards. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I should just, like, hire a doctor man with, like, glasses. Yeah. Like, just some smart. People who look smart. No, dress Emerada up as a doctor.

She's basically a doctor. Yeah. Yeah. That was also genius to partner with her. Can you talk about that? Emily, is she, Emily got married to like my, basically, like, one of my closest friends from high school. Like a complete, like, dufus that I've been hanging out with my whole life.

And I, like, didn't know, like, it did not, it was, it was fast. Like, I was looped in, like, with, like, two weeks before. Didn't you officiate the wedding? Yes, that's what I'm saying. This shit went down quickly. He locked in and. Totally. I don't know what they were doing, but then we, like, went to Sush.

And they were doing this. And I was like, what is happening? And so guy obviously understood from his perspective Because like I had met her before and she seemed super cool I mean she's hot so she's not really my type You know I'm more of like a sort of into the four or five range Like a sort of big rough hands and she kind of has more small soft hands It's not really my thing she has normal size cabs which is like not my thing

And so I was like oh okay this happening fast But then it turned out that she was like ridiculously fucking smart Had like way more to offer than just like being like I think that like being a model It comes naturally to her but she has weight She just has like a lot to fucking say. And she's super fucking smart. I'm not even just saying that because I would definitely shit on her. Like I am down.

And we became like basically suit like really like actually super close friends. So that actually was the other one besides Waywatchers that happened naturally. Like I'd like to say like, oh, as soon as like my friend like put his penis inside of her, I was like angling on her. It was like, this will be perfect for the wine. Because like I am a Jew and I would. But I didn't even really think of that. And then later I was like, oh wait, this would be fucking perfect because she has like really good ideas. So you partner with her.

and now you're expanding the brand, expanding the brand, and then you sell the Amhizer. Anheiser. How do you say it? Anheiser. How do you say it? Anheiser. But like also whatever.

Did they approach? I don't think you even cares. Nobody's jumping in me like, it's Anheiser. Did they, well, I'm like, nobody cares. Okay. So do they approach you? Do you approach them? Was that the like strategic business move the whole time?

Did you know? You wanted to sell the business? Yes. Okay. Get me the fuck out. Did you have people like court you besides them? Yeah. There were like wine companies.

So I like made. And I like get drunk with all these different companies. Totally. And like made them do like all kinds of rules. I wanted to see like how far we could push this. You know, I was like, hey, like white guy in a suit and other white guy to see. You guys should joust each other and then like tongue kiss. Like you want to buy this company and like some of them were more down than others.

Like there was some jousting less tongue kissing. But eventually we kind of knew once once Anar Zergish came in, we knew because they're like, it's beer. Like we're trashy like that. Like the wine companies were like they were cool and like we would have been, they didn't really understand us. You know what I mean? Because as much as like, because there's still wine.

I want to like elevate it a little bit. It's not, it's not what it was. They don't like, they got it. They were cool. This is like, they don't get 2020. No. They're like smelling their wine and shit and being like these oaky notes of leather and charcoal. And I was like, okay.

Like, okay, French guy in little glasses, like relax. And no, honestly, no disrespect to like charcutory because I love charcutory. So do I. And like, I rep for charcoots all day. But Anheuser Bush is like straight up. We're talking like fucking, we're talking trash. And we wanted to be like the fucking beer of wine. Yeah.

We wanted you to shock on the shit and then like make an app. absolutely horrible decision with your life. Like that was what we were going for. And like the wine companies just like weren't really. So we like did ridiculous shit to them, but kind of knew the whole time that we were like just going to go with with this. But here's the thing. If you have a company, sell the fuck out.

Because like you are not, you're not like Facebook. You know what I mean? You're not like we weren't like changing the world with like a disruptive millennial like canned wine. It's just fucking good. And like, you know, do you already have like the next business strategy in your head? No, I'm down.

Although one thing I have been doing, which has been weird, is it's Since we sold the company, I've been speaking at all these, I've been speaking in all these business schools. Yeah. They like invite me to come. And that has been so fire. I'd love to see like you and Gary V on the stage. That guy is like screaming all the time. But like you guys would be so good together, I think.

We've never met. I'm surprised you guys have never met. He just comes in hot. He's like, what's up, bitch? Fuck you. And I'm like, right. No, totally. I feel you.

I totally feel you. He's like, what's up? Buy 5,000 baseball cards and then sell them for a million dollars. Shut the fuck up. And I'm like, okay, okay, okay. I'm down. And he seems great. I think that a lot of like the kids seem inspired by him.

I see in his comments, people were like, yo, I'm fucking with us. So I really would. So I've been going to like, I spoke at Harvard business school like in like pink assless chaps. Which so like for me, it's less about being like, look, I'm speaking. Because like it's cool. But like they're, the kids are taking it seriously. When you speak, what do you actually like tell?

I mean, listen, like people reading between the lines. You obviously are a massive success story and it's, and it's not a linear path. But like when you actually are speaking, what are you telling them? We're talking about like, you know. We're talking about like, you know, we're talking about business. It's business stuff. You know? We're talking about like building an audience, right?

And then give it like basically giving you like, don't, like creating consumer products like not creating things that you actually like, but for me at least is like creating things that the market wants. You know what I mean? Like I'm not like a wine guy. I did this because like I use my platform to be like, hey, what the fuck do you guys want? And people were like, we're like back then in like 2015. Everyone was like we're fucking drinking rosé like crazy. We want to get fucked up. But like I don't want to bring a bottle to.

You know, like we just like basically we have that intimate connection with your audience. It's so smart. You ask the audience and so many people just launch brands and they don't talk to the audience. Whoa, it's getting drippy. Little Stevie in there for. That's really good. Lunch. Is that your lunch?

How many points is that? That's my lunch. How many points? That's what I'm getting the dick lines. Is that like a half point? I could type it into the like my way watchers app. Yeah, you should. If I just eat a handful of coconut oil.

Yeah. That's really good. So the other thing is, is that. If you need to clean up, you just got a little freshy there. It's a dual action thing. Or just rub it on your stop. Wipe it all over my sternum. So, you know, so we like, we reverse engineered it.

Like I basically was like, fuck it. If I, if everybody's just like, here's what we want, then by the time it actually fucking comes out, they're going to buy it. Because like, they create it. We're a consumer first brand. I'm not going to like sit around in a room and like try to figure out what the fuck people want. If you actually create a connection with your audience, they trust you, they're going to be like,

here's what the fuck we want. Make it for me, clown man. And then like, I make it for you. And then you buy it. It's like, we're all doing good things for each other. So I did it like that. And so I've been talking a lot about that, which is like, because the thing is that now, and then after I spoke at Harvard, I basically was like, look, I'll do a shark tank type

thing. So, you know, I got all these, all these shit bags, like, throwing money at me now. Like, some, like, guy named like Derek being like dog, like, we'll do it like a disruptive VC. Like, here's money. And I'm like, all right, I'll flush her money down to toilet. I'm totally fine with that. Or, I don't know, maybe it'll work. So now I'm like, after Harvard, I was like, I'm basically giving money away. Like, do you have an idea? Slide into my DMs. Let me hear your idea. Maybe I'll just fucking fund you on the spot, like on some straight shark tank shit. So you should do like a show like Shark Tank, though. Yeah, it would really work.

So I got like 5,000 DMs. And the thing is people have really, really bad ideas. Yeah. There were a couple gems in there. I just wanted to see if people were down. But like two things I gleaned from it. One, which is that like motherfuckers are getting entrepreneurial as fuck. Like people want to do shit and it's inspiring.

Like it's not just like people at Soho House running like a CBD dog food brand. Like there are people who like whose parents started a trucking company and they work there and they're like, yo, I work at this trucking company but it's dusty as fuck. Like we could make this better for 2020. Whatever shit like that. It's not just people with these. But a lot of people have like. these brand ideas just aren't going to work because they're like not they're not thinking about like what the marketplace needs they're thinking about like what they like one of my favorite books ever is by cat marnell i think we talked about this last time she's i want to know what you and cat marnell got into before her whole brand exploded because i love her i want her on the podcast and putting it out there in the ether she like well first of all she's like impossible to find now she'll text me like seven in the morning and she's like what's up bitch i'm in albania and i'm like why are you in albania why are you there what are you doing And she's like by herself, huh?

No, totally. And also, like, she's constantly repping for, like, a city that I've never heard. She's like, she's like, yo, she's like, you need to come out to Tbilisi. It's so lit. And I'm like, Tbilis. I'm like, oh, that's in Georgia, the country. She's like, it's fucking nuts. The club scene is insane.

Like, dudes are getting fisted. Like, everyone's smoking a drug called Crocodile. They're like, well, whatever. And I'm like, what are you doing? What are you up to? I love it, though, because she's like, just owns it. Totally. Totally.

She doesn't care. No, she's sending me a picture of a couch and buy. Aaku and Azerbaijan, be like, look at this, look at this woman's couch. And I'm like, it's 9 o'clock in the morning. I haven't seen you in a year. Like, that's it? No context. Just look at this couch.

What was your relationship before? Because when I read her book, you like, you guys were friends before either of you hit it. She like, I don't know, ran away from home, I think. And so she like got off a bus at the Port Authority. And I just, I was basically standing there. You were there. Was that actually really the story? I mean, like, essentially, she like showed up like in a nightclub.

And we were just, and I was like, wow, like you are from fucking. She showed up in a nightclub, like, in a juicy jumpsuit, like taking pills I had never heard of, you know, being like, you want a phloxylene? And I was like, I guess. What is that for? She's like, normally it's for when horses give birth, but I get super fucked up on it. And I'm like, oh, that sounds tight.

And she's like 90 pounds and she's blonde. Beautiful. Beautiful. She's from space. One of the best writers I've, like, she knows how to fucking talk to her audience. Her book really was fire. And like, people really, like, ride for her. They're not just like, no one's like, I've met very few people who are like, I like, I like your book.

Like it's either people who are like, nah, and care about it or they're like, I will die for you, bitch. She's, she has like a full-blown cult, like an actual cult. I think Lauren's in that cult. Yeah, no, I'm in the cult. I love Katmarna. Yeah, I would, honestly, I would get her. If she wasn't in Carcania. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, if she wasn't like, on Mars. If she wasn't like eight countries away, God knows what. She's like, you know in like, you know in like southeast Russia, you can just ride a horse into a nightclub. And I'm like, no, I didn't know that. And then I text her back and then she doesn't respond. And I'm like, that's it. She'll like leave me on red.

I like that kind of friend though. Because then you don't get into this like text thread that's like back and forth. It's like it's low maintenance. But I guarantee that that's a text you open and you like, you look at it right away. That's one when that one comes in, you're in it. She's entertaining and you get the text. You text her back. She doesn't respond for a week.

It's perfect. She's just out there honestly like doing shit so she can write about it. Some people just write about it like they'll just come up within their imagination. But she's like I got to live this shit. Okay. So tell us something about Paris Hilton that we don't know because you did the documentary. with her, which we loved. Great transition, Lauren.

Great transition. Yeah, I'm going to ask him about all the hot blondes. I got to ask him about Paris Hilton. So Paris and I went to high school together. Oh, you lived in L.A.? So she got kicked out. We went to high school together in New York. She, like, was like drinking booze during a school play.

Got thrown out and moved and came to L.A. On brand. Right, totally on brand. So Paris is like basically, and I said this in the documentary, she really is like one of our greatest Americans. Like, she's my Benjamin Franklin. She's like just. I think she might have invented this whole,

She invented everything. She really did. It's all because of her. And the thing I like about her, which I always felt connected to her on, was that, like, for the most part, I think people, when they, a thing that I hear a lot is, like, people, I'm not even, like, sweating myself. But when people meet me, they're like, oh, you're not, like, as stupid as I thought you were, which I love. They're just like, oh, you're, you're, you're, you know, set the bar low and then you step right over it. It's my favorite thing to do. Totally.

So she's, like, the fucking queen of that. Like, she knows what her audience wants. Like, she could go on. I'm always like, why don't you do, like, a Forbes cover? because she really could. She sold like $5 billion in fragrances. But it's weird. America has a weird relationship with her

because, you know, she's not so relevant in New York, right? We think of her as like a mid-aughts sort of staple. But like when she, when Paris gets, like, seriously, when she gets off the plane in whatever city Camarnel is in. People are going fucking nuts. Yeah, when she gets off the plane in like Oman, you know,

like straight up. We're in like Jordan. People are like, ah! People are barfing out of their mouths and weeping, weeping barf. And so her, like she is a fucking star over there, but she's, she's like, reluctant to talk about it. She doesn't want to go

on shit and be like, I am super smart. She gives people what they want. People want Paris being like, yes bitch. And like, that's what she gives them. She doesn't feel the need, because she is that and she doesn't feel the need. She's in on the joke. The sliving, her new sliving thing? Sliving is like... Sliving.

So I'm saying, she's so fire. She invented the entire ecosystem. I shut it to the documentary. Do not ever in your whole life forget that that fucking Kim. Kim, Kim was organizing this bitch's closet. Kim was in charge of her shoes. She made her, like, executive shoe organizer.

Like, do not forget, when Kim looked like Jafar from Aladdin, she was organizing pairs of shoes. That is all you need to know. Which Kardashian would you make a sex tape with if you had to pick one? I say, this is everyone? Yeah. This is, like, all in? Am I trying to get press, or is this about the sex?

I would go for Chris if I were you. No, no, that's the right answer. Yeah. That's always the right answer. Chris and Corey. It's Chris and Corey. together. It's a three way. Bring your branded butt plug.

You know, actually, you know what was interesting was that? And I like her a lot was that I was at like a thing. And you know what's funny is that like a lot of times like they, I've met all of them. Like Kim is like super scared of me. Like whenever she sees me, she's always like, hey, but she's like backing up, you know. She's just basically beep, beep, beep. She's just like this fucking guy. She's not a big drinker.

No, she's like not really turning up. Some of them like go really hard. So no names. But what's funny about them is that like when you hang out with them and it's cool. Like they talk as if you don't know who they are or you don't. So like you'll be talking to them and like, you know, like I was chatting with one of them and they're like, what are you doing tonight? And I was like, I don't know.

And she was like, well, we're all going to go out. And I was like, cool. And she was like, yeah, I never really go out, but I really want to go out because like, you know, my sister just broke up with her boyfriend. That's like a whole, you know. And I was like, okay, bitch, are you talking about Chloe and Lamar? Like, don't hit me with this. My sister just broke up with her boyfriend shit.

You know what I mean? Being like, you know how that is. So we got to like ride for her. But like my sister. Like, no, I know. I know. It was fucking front page new. I understand, yes.

The whole country knows. Like, everybody knows. And I appreciate, like, I appreciate the down to earthness, but there's got to be a better way. Because it, like, freaks out. And they'll be like, do you remember me? And I'm like, yes, bitch, I remember you? You're literally, like, what?

They'll be like, fat you, what's up? Do you remember me? And I'm like, can you pose a story? I'm like, there's no way in any universe that I don't remember you. Like, do you remember me? Like, that's the real question here. Like, what the actual fuck? So it's cool that they're like being down to earth, but it'll definitely freak you out.

So Michael and I were sitting on the couch on a lazy Sunday, you know, did nothing all day. And we decided to turn on this movie called Uncut Gems. And we're fucking watching it and just, you know, it's great movie. All of a sudden, you're in this random scene with Yama Khan and a living room. Yeah. What's happening? I wanted more from you. I wanted you to be in it longer.

Yeah. No, I have a way longer scene, but the movie was like four hours long and they had to like cut it down. So like, there's like... That movie stressed me out the whole time. It was fucking amazing. It is amazing, but it stressed me out. It was like, it was a constant. The guy was just like constantly.

I loved it. Horny guy just like he's back. Just like was missing, but here he is. Good Times. The Safti Brothers. You need to see the Safty Brothers other movie called Good Times with Robert Pants. It's amazing too. Good Times is crazy.

You do have a good news to us. Let me tell you something about this guy behind you. At our wedding, he pissed himself at the wedding, told Lawrence he was a beast. Went on his, his answer to being like, oh shit, I pissed myself on this. And, you know, ate it wet enchilada off my dad's plate. And then went to the script club. And his idea to dry off was to swing a. around the strip hole.

Like an air dry. Yeah, yeah. Like an air dry. That's nice. Wait, what strip club? I honestly don't remember. I was along for the ride. I was a mere passenger. When I built this studio, you see how there's that giant wall behind it. It's usually glass where you could see. I had to put. No, you were just like, totally.

Tugging back. Like you're off. If any of you listening ever need a strip club food recommendation, please DME. That's like, that's my specialty. Food. I have eaten at probably 500 strip clubs across America. Does the rhino have food? In L.A. At Las Vegas.

So the one in Vegas does, but it's like not, it's not like, it's not that killer. Like, that's the thing. Vegas, like, they don't do food right. Like, if you really, because a lot of places get super gourmet now. It used to be, like, fucking wings and fucking fra. You know, like, it was just like strip club food, like nachos and shit. But now places are getting super fucking, like, super gourmet. Like, you can get a nice, like, spring pea risotto with like a, you know, like a Chilean sea bass with like a nice gazecho, like a summer gazpacho.

They have like a chef come out. Be like, how are you? Like, thank you so much for coming. And I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, you have an executive chef? Like, the woman behind me is a C-section scar. I'm like, is dancing while vaping on stage. Her child is sitting, like, watching her other kid.

Taylor would love recommendations. But Taylor tends to go for Mexico. But also, back to Uncut Gems because we. Oh, he was always over. Okay. So actually, so the guy, my friend Sibo, who married Amrata, he's like one of the executive produced of that movie. Their company made that movie.

And we are, I'm like super close with one of the Saffi brothers. He's like one of my better friends. Which is an amazing movie. Which is funny. It's actually interesting. People are always shocked that we know, because they're like kind of highbrow. Like they're like, you know, like filmmakers, like love them. And I'm like a complete moron.

So people are always like, how do these people know each other? So actually the relationship has ended up being really funny because like no one knows what the fuck is going. Like no one understands. But we are hanging out like all the time. Their movies are just so fucking stressful. I actually see you being a lot of movies in the future. You think so?

Yeah. I mean I've been in like a lot of like weird teen movie? No, I'm going to call. I mean real movies. You did the social thing. You did the social thing. business sold it. Now it's like that's the next thing.

Like what else do you? I mean, well, you tell me what's the next fuck? Like, what the fuck should I be doing? I'm gonna tell you what I'd like to see from you. Okay.

Okay. Movies. I'd love skin care. Okay. Great. No one would see that coming. Like, like I'd love like a hot pink mask or like.

Interesting. Like I could use like a butt mask or after you get pregnant, you need like a stomach max, a tit mask. I'd love like something with skin from you. Does anyone do tit masks? Right. Oh, but white space. I've got a movie pitch for you.

You. Okay. You go undercover, you're a secret agent, and you go to other countries and you have missions, but yet you're yourself and you're, it's, you know what I mean? It's like, no, we don't know what you mean. It's like Mr. Bean, Mr. Bean, but you. You should never, you should. What was it? Johnny, like Mr. Bean and John Hose.

Here's what we're going to do. Let's get an eight ball of Coke. We're going to get a fuck. It will get a room out by LAX in like a comfort in. And we're going to write this script in two days. Like by Friday, we will have a full script for this. Are you in? Are you in massive bed bugs, bitten.

You're in? Oh, wow, count me in. You have bed bugs. Oh, that's why you have those bumps all over your dick. No, it's not bad bucks. Oh, it wasn't razor burn. It was actually in your dick lines. That explains it.

The thing is, is like, whatever I do next, I'm just trying to do something that's completely off the nose. That's why wine was funny because everybody was like, like, that's why I don't, I don't really do things anymore that anyone would expect. That's why, like, when they, I was. But wine made a shitload of sense because you were just always chugging wine running around. But the way he did wine didn't, like, the way he did wine wasn't like the, what's the what's the person called, the wine person?

A Somalia. A Somalia. It wasn't like a Somalié. Like he didn't have a fucking pin on a shirt. No, but it was also like they want, it wasn't like we went like, I did it like a little cleaner and like more, a little bit more tasteful than I think people would expect it.

I bet there's a lot of Somaliers that are pissed off. Yeah. I actually, definitely. For sure. Like some shit bag with glasses being like, oh my, being like, doing like a spit take. Being like, what is this? This fucking swill.

And but actually, you know what I, recently I went to Mexico City and I went to the restaurant and they had a moly like the child. sauce. They had a mole-somali. And he had like a super long spoon. It was like two, it was like a foot long. And he would like put a tiny bit of moly on the end. It was like a tiny little spoon at the end.

And he would like pop it into your mouth and be like, like let it like, let it brush against your palate. Like that is a 200 year old. And I was like, this is so fucking stupid. Here's the move. You move out to Napa and you actually create like a whole exhibit of Babe Roset. Like I want to go and taste all the stuff and like swish the glass. Napa's not ready.

Yeah, for that. Yeah. Like slides. You have slides. You have another weird idea? And it's fucking wild because Napa's boring. Let me tell you something. Right.

Nap is fucking boring. I mean, there are like, it is, but it's not. There are like, there are like, there are like,

there are like, but it's not, yeah, it's not lit enough. I've known this guy back there since he was 12 years old, keep him around because all these ideas

are dead fucking serious. He's being completely serious. Yeah. It's not like a, it's dead serious. He's in therapy or no, he's not therapy? No,

but he, well, you're not? No, No, no, definitely not. Definitely not. While we're at it, he would love. Let the trauma really fester.

Brest fed to 11. He's still breastfeeding. I would love for you to round out this podcast with some advice for him. So he came on our podcast a couple of times and he has an issue where he comes in a minute. Or less. Well, did. Edging helped a lot. So edging helped.

Yeah. But we need a little bit more advice because I'm going to say edging only took him to a minute and a half, which still isn't satisfying anyone. Here's what I want you to do. When you feel like. feel like you, when you're feeling things inside your body, right? When you're feeling stuff, not like when you're like about to come. Cue the music, Taylor. When you're like sort of like, kind

of on the, like, when you're on the way up, on the roller coaster and like you can feel the fact that you're like rising before you like, you know, before you drop in. I want you to think about this. I want you to think about Steve Bouchemi. Think about Steve Bouchemi's mouth, all right? Really think about his teeth. Think about the humidity of his breath. And he's licking, he's, he opens, he peels back the foil.

of a large, large container of Chobani. Now, the Chobani aluminum, whatever that is, has a thin film of yogurt on it. Now, in super duper slow motion, you fucking pervert, he licks it, and he's just licking it from top to bottom. Now, if that doesn't make you not come,

then you're, like, really, really more unwell than I thought. But what I was going to say is, ultimately what's going to happen is I'd be thinking of that, and it would still happen. He didn't even digest. You don't think that... You didn't even digest that. Went right in.

I don't understand. You don't think that that would prevent you from jizzing? Well, because, I mean, I've read online, where they're like, oh, think of something gross. Like, think of, like, you're having sex with your nana. And I'm like... No, no. And you just...

You just... You just... ...describe's humid teeth in a Chobani rapper. Dude, I would jam my tongue so far on my fucking Nona's ass before I would ever want to think about Steve Bouchemi's funky-ass mouth licking a chobani lid. Those aren't even on the same level. I get it.

Like, fuck your grandma. It's really... Like, whatever. But like no way. Bouchem, do you want to, are you Googling Bouchemys mouth back there? He's jockeying off to see Bishami right now. This is the first time in this.

Oh, right. That's what happened here as I walked into, he actually like is a full Bouchemio. The first time on this episode that I realized there's pink handcuffs, fuzzy handcuffs. Well, I want any advice from you guys. Oh, okay. So I found a doctor, or he found me actually. I met him on the set of Dr.

Oz. Okay. Because Dr. Oz has this like weird, like a fascination with me. Okay. Um, where he's like, bring him on. He's a medical freak. Like, I don't know.

He's just like, what will you do? He's like, we eat this crayon, and then I can tell the crowd, like, you shouldn't eat crayons? I go on and I meet this, like, Persian plastic surgeon, and he's like, baby, baby, baby. I mean, he's like some, he's a known guy, like I googled him. So he's telling me that he can make incisions in my chest that are about, I don't even know, a quarter of an inch, like really small incisions in my chest. He can then give me breast implants that are made from saline. He can give me like a nice tasteful sea cup.

I mean, that's what I'd prefer. I want something nice and sort of tasteful. Go under the muscle. And then they will, the saline will, dissolve back into my body in one month. So they're temporary breasts. He is telling me that he can totally do this. He's like, baby, great for content.

He's like, content is king. You know it is. The problem with that, though, if you do that, your tits when it's dissolved will hang. It's like breastfeeding. Your tits fill up with milk. And then when the milk goes away, the tits hang down. It's not just going to like go into my body?

He said it goes into my body. It is going to go into your body, but your tits have expanded so the skin's going to hang. It's like being pregnant. Fuck. Sounds kind of sick. Yeah. But do it to your ball stuff.

So maybe? Why don't you get ball implants and like show us the content of that? Right. Like gigantic. Right. Like humongous balls. Yeah. Yeah.

That's more strategic. They're like smooth like eggs. And then it's, fuck the tit mask. Make a ball mask. Make a nice ball mask. Nobody makes a ball mask. Everyone needs a ball mask. Your balls like you have some fine lines and wrinkles.

You could use a ball mask. Honestly, I'm in for either option you choose. Like if you want to do the balls or the ball mask. You would go with either? I'm in for, horrible balls look like they've been walking into the winds like they look horrible wrinkled they look like yeah they look like your grandfather's hands they don't get they don't get better either someone needs to help with the ball area oh they look like honestly they look like the

hands of a Korean war veteran and Taylor has like like like red warts all over them from no fuck that no not warts no no what the fuck's up he's gonna add it's not war it's not what's the medical you know we have control this guy since he's a producer he's going to edit that out you know that's a that's a shame right like right he's in control yeah he's going to edit that thing I know he's right right no it's true though The ball sack is a very, it's a disgusting thing. It's not attractive. Balls are not cute.

That's why I was thinking if I got Botox pumped into my balls, you could get them completely. You could remove all wrinkles and they could be smooth, like two, like, you know what I mean? Like two, like two heirloom tomatoes. So down for that. Yeah, just like perfectly glazed and smooth. That would be incredible. Can you give us a beauty tip before you got one? Do you use an eye cream?

No moisturizer that you're using? No. I use some Mario Bodescu. Oh, okay. I have some Bodescu up in this bitch. That's, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's like kind of good. Wow.

It's like kind of good. Actually, one beauty thing that I have actually is I've been into anal bleaching, which I did as a joke because I made my intern go and do it with me because he like really, he wasn't even my intern at the time. He really wanted the job. And like you think I made the fucking people wanted to buy the company do horrible things. Like the things are doing to interns. Although now it's like I have to get them to sign NDAs because it's like, you know, it's just harder than he used to be. But I made him go. I was like, if you really want this job, you will get anal bleached with me.

Like I want our butt holes to be barata white. So we went and then I did it I was like wait a minute my butt hole looks kind of cute Like I was all up in the mirror like scoping my own my own anus And I wasn't even like going on spring break To Cabo or whatever like whatever people normally bleach their anus for But then I got really into it So now my butthole is gleaming

It looks much better than the rest of me Should girls bleach their butthole? I don't think that you have to I actually think it made me feel really good I think that sometimes women would be like Well I got to bleach my butthole Instead of like someone opens up my butt See I'm down like girl I'm down with your dark ass butthole

Like I'm down with your butthole being dank and dark, because everyone's got a dang dark butthole. I don't care. Right, that's what I'm saying. I do not care. I wouldn't discriminate. I'm not like going around and be like,

what, ah, actually. Here's what I'm saying, ladies. They ain't going to slow me down. You don't bleach your butthole for him. You bleach your butthole for you. Yeah. You bleach it for you, okay? Go off.

Like, don't do it. Work that into the Harvard. That's what I'm saying. Maybe you should do a butthole bleach as your next product. Right. Like an in-home. Because I don't think people really understand. Millennial pink.

You know what, actually how fire would be if you went and did like a super serious business talk at Harvard about like how to like sell a massive wine company? And then you ended it with that. Totally. I mean, here's the thing. So every time I go and do one of these business school talks, I have like milestones on one head. So we'll be like flying there, whatever. And I'll be like, what should I like, what can I work in this time? Like what do you think no one's ever said at Yale business school? And I don't know. So we were wondering how many times I could get handjob into my talk at Yale business? Because like how many times can you get hand job to do a business talk without it being ridiculous. I was able to get in there seven times. I said handjob at Yale Business School seven times. So give me a

context. I had these, I had like Miller and Coors and Anheiser. Right. Yeah. And like I was saying like which one of you guys. Right. Who wants to give me a handjob. I was like when you sell alcohol. There are like distributors. Which is like a big part of it. Like you can't just sell like alcohol directly to consumers. So like the distributors you're constantly just jerking them off and giving them handjob. Like my wrists are exhausted from getting these guys to like take the fucking product. And then the, but the nice part was was that the week before the speaker was John Kerry. And apparently he had said hand jobs less times than me. Because he's a how. Not surprised. And he would never. So like, I don't know, DM me. Like, I'm down. I'll fucking fund your business.

And honestly, now that I have a little bit, I'm starting to have like a little bit more time back. So my whole like, I'll do anything you invite me to thing is like kind of back on the table. Invite them guys. Like if you invite me, as long as it's like not a bunch of finance guys. Because I used to have like a lot of finance guys, right? Be like, fly on the shed with us. We'll go to Vegas. And I'm like,

That's boring. What was the last party? There was a party that happened that you did in New York and we missed it by like a day. I was piss at her. Which one? The pink, the pink yacht or something.

Yeah. Oh my God. The boat. Oh, the boat was... We missed it by a day because he's like... Oh, the boat was completely out of control. First of all, Dorinda,

Dorinda basically... My favorite. I fucking... I fuck for Durinda. I love Durinda. So, Dorinda and I have hung out several times. And like, she is just like, she cannot... She's good.

She cannot stop going off. Like, she just can't. She showed, like, her tits to the coat, so a Coast Guard boat, like, kind of came up. And we were like, wait, are they going to, like, pull us over? Because, like, the bull was, we were like, we were basically on, like, a boat in the middle of the Hudson River, like a floating, wasn't like a yacht. It was like a floating dusty casino boat. It was, like, it was not fire.

But we could basically just like, you could bar forever. And so the Coast Guard started rolling up and she was like, oh, they look hot. And then just showed her tits. And I was like, honestly, you are a, you should live in the Smithsonian. Precious Jen. You're a national treasure. Like, protect Dorinda Medley at all, at actual all costs. And I got, she invited me to go to Grey Marrington and I couldn't go.

So I'm like, now I'm angling again and invite this summer to like whatever it's called. Durinda. No, like seriously. Trying to have this. I'm trying to have another sleepover. Me, her and John Modessian. Invite Madonna. Where can everyone find you?

What's your Instagram? Pip yourself out. Not that everyone already doesn't follow you. And tell us about where they can find your wine. My Instagram is the fat Jewish. Do you guys follow the TSA on Instagram? Like the security agency? Yeah, you should follow the TSA.

No, I missed them. so fire. Because they basically show you everything that people are trying to get onto a plane because people do not understand what they can and can bring on planes. Like they're confiscating the actual. They're like you can't. Is true? Yes. They're like you cannot bring you cannot like you just you cannot bring a whole cooked turkey

and nunchucks. Like it just you can't bring you cannot bring these things on the plane and they confiscate them and then they put them on the Instagram. Anyway my Instagram is the fat Jewish. My yeah no like oh you just brought you oh you thought you could bring a handgun on the plane you cannot. Also if you

need to know what you can bring out a plan you can just tweet at them like I tweeted them and was like can I bring a what is that it's a ninja star native machets hey to brush your bell but ninja star really that ain't gonna fly that wasn't in the first six photos they're pretty funny too don't bring a ham sandwich either literally so you manage their social media don't bring a ham sandwich no I just found their Instagram it was like this is popping as fuck do you think Taylor can edge in the

bathroom look at these things yeah yes what the fuck is that what is that they're like nunchucks sickles yes those are sickle nunchucks and guys you you literally can't bring shampoo and conditioner on the why did you think you could bring sickle nunchucks? Like that's not going to happen. Or Vermont maple syrup. You know what? This is actually maybe one of the better accounts.

That's what I'm saying. It's an amazing foe. So what I did when Michael was like I was trying to, this is really like a hot tip for all the girls that like want to fuck with their husbands. Like one night at 3 a.m. I took his phone and followed a hundred different Chihuahua accounts. Here's the deal. Now for the rest of his life, all that populates every single one of his social platforms is

Chihuahuas. It is fucking amazing. Hot tip. Thank you. Hot tip. Very well-played. All he gets served now is Chihuahua. No, that's it. You're like, you're done. It's over forever.

Every time a new account starts, it's like, you might be interested in this, and it's like a chihuahua with one leg. Lord Zuckerberg, no, like now that's what he thinks that that's all that you fucking want. And I say Chihuahua, Chihuahua, Chihuahua, Chihuahua. Right, just constantly screaming to his phone. He loves Chihuahua's on his phone. Steve Buccemi, yogurt, anal beats. You're going to get served the craziest shit. You're going to get the craziest ads later.

My thing is the fat Jewish. You can prank call my dad. 917-734-8402. That's my dad's phone number. You can call him. He'll be a dick to you. He'll be a dick to you. I've done this before and he's like not.

He doesn't think it's funny. You can call him up. You can scream on him like preferably late at night when you're hammered, whatever. Call him up. And what else? Yeah, babe, like the wine you can find like pretty much in any store. Like you can go.

Literally distributions off the chain now. Now that we have like Anheuser-Busch, we're like fucking. Like premier shelf space. Red with bubbles is really, really good. I wouldn't reach for this one first, but it's really good. It was good. It's like 13% alcohol. This is like Derinda.

You don't think it's the one, but then you try it and you're like, this is the Durinda. You got to remember with these cans, like three of these cans is a bottle of wine, like, high volume. So, like, people are getting smacked. Like, my mom drank like six of them at Thanksgiving and then like basically ended up telling me about how she like, fuck shells over. You know what? I was going to say.

I was like, God, that feels like stronger than just like a beer. Yeah, no. It's like full 13% wine. The carbonation, too. Thank you for coming on. Come back anytime. I miss you already. You're amazing.

Pisses me off that it took this long to get back. Wait, did you say Shell Silverstein the writer? Yeah, my mom fuck Shell Silverstein. You didn't see that in his bio? That's my Instagram bio because I'm that proud of it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. My mom got drunk at Thanksgiving off. She drank six babes because they're small.

They're like Red Bull size, if you've never seen one. And they have full out. So you drink three of them. They're like, you can slam them easy. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, wait a minute. So she had six, which was two bottles of wine. And then I was like, so we were talking about something. And she was like, oh, like, you don't think I'm cool probably.

me tell you something. I'm fucking cool. And I was like, oh yeah, are you cool? Because, like, as you become an adult, your parents, like, start to be down to, like, tell you about, like, exploits of the past. Like, once you're, like, I found that once I got over 30, my parents were like, let me tell you what I used to do. Because you think your parents were, like, not doing anything. And she was like, I used to be cool. Like, I fucked Shell Silverstein. And I was like, wait, wait, what? No, my parents kept that for me. But now they're just, like, honestly, one sip of, like, one sip of, like, one sip of margarita or six babes later. And she's like, I, like, I wish Shelverson was my dad. I'm pissed.

I've called my dad before and been like, why aren't you fucking Shell Silverstein? You should be Shell Silverstein. Here's how I drink, babe, in an Uber with a paper straw. Like a pixie straw? Yeah. It's the best. Freezing cold from the fridge. First of all, cute.

I have questions about your content. I have content questions. We were like rapping, but we didn't get to any of my questions. It's on brand. Listen, we have time unless you got to go. No, your content, you're ripping it all times. I'll take it from you. You are shredding content.

I will take it from you. Oh my God. And the words of like horny producer guy at the wedding, like, you are a beast. I go, please don't put any of that up. And then the next thing I know it's out, everything's out there. No, I don't care what you say. You're just like, literally like, I'm sitting there.

I'm like, you know, and it's just out there. The world's just like, you know. Yeah, it's like every single second. She doesn't give a shit. No, I don't give a shit. You are fucking shredding. And honestly, also like, you're like, you're just like, guys, here's a 172 step skincare routine.

And I'm like, how could there be 172 steps? And then by step 90, I'm like, wait, I understand she's rubbing motor oil on her face, but her skin looks better. This is why you need a butthole cream. Definitely. There are some open lanes here. There are some things that probably, me and you could probably do a thing. You know what I said?

I was like, listen, I was like, I think there's like some intro, there's like something going on between here and like normally I'd be like, what's this guy watching all the time? But like, between you two, I'm, I'm in. What are you in for? All we want's your money. Right. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you know, honestly, you're a money guy. Yeah. Okay, okay, that's fine. Okay. You're down on that. Listen, I'm not going to, I'm not going to debate it. Right. But I was.

When we use Taylor's Butthole for the ad? This is a, it's, it's, this is good. Where do you land on baby content? I know. Feel you. It's, it's not, no one wants to see your baby too much. She's here and there. It's not a lot.

Yeah, no, no, I don't see it like that all. Some people are just like, leaning. No, no, no. I don't, the baby doesn't need to be shown a lot. Here and there. I will say this. I took a child that I knew, I mean, my friend's child, not like a child that I just met. But, and I put him, I bought, I was like, yo, can I do some content with your kid?

And I put him on a, I put him on a child. a giant fucking piece of bread, like a giant loaf and with like lettuce, tomato, and onion, and then I pretended to eat him like a sandwich, crushed. Baby content can fucking crush. It just has to be done right. No, that's the thing.

Because some people, like, I don't think people are exploiting their babies hard enough. They're doing it like, buy these diapers or like, buy this, like. No, they're vana whiting it. I can't with the vana white. It's like. I know.

They're like, buy these like non-toxic. Like, one of the slogans for Wu is eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it. Like, that's one of the things. And it's like, should we get the baby that sweatshers it? Like, I think we're, I don't know. No, I'm getting my baby a sweater that says that.

See, that should. Yeah, why? No, because it's honestly, don't be so rude. All the baby content is like a gender fluid, like non-toxic, like gummy bear. I mean, listen, the reason I asked it because we got, you know, there was like a bassinet, our friend created, it's a beautiful bassinet. And like, the internet went fucking ballistic thing that we were going to leave the baby

and it was going to die in this bassinet. And it's like crazy. Yeah, people come hard. And I was like, if we put a, if we put a sweatshirt about like, eat it, suck it, with a fuck it with a six week old. Like we're probably going to get even like it's probably going to be a little bit crazier.

Definitely. IDC. But IDC. It probably would. Okay. Really quick. It'll pop. It'll pop.

Contest kick. Questions. What's your favorite book, website or podcast about preventative skincare? What? Name one podcast about preventative skin care. Like breaking beauty. Glossier.

Like what's like her into the glosses. She's looking at literally. Oh. I'm saying, I'm saying, The skinny confidential. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the skinny confidential.

By the way, no, that's not even a lie. Okay. You are the only, you're the only, like, person. You're the only one you'll watch a 73-step skincare for. I will watch a full-blown 397 step skincare routine that you are putting up. I'm in a show how to wax my butt hole on stories and, like, just for you. Your dashes, your little dot, your dashes on the story are so fucking small, it basically becomes one solid line.

Yeah, but I don't want to be that annoying person. That sounds like that. But the thing is you're really like you're ripping the content. Yeah, but the dashes. I don't love that. Honestly, so much. Actually, you actually have charcutory. Like, I've seen wild charcutory.

I've seen wild-ass charcutory on your shit. I'm into that. You see, that to me is like, I can't really, like, my fetishes have gotten super specific. That I can jerk off to you. Not that I'm jerking off your Instagram. But like really nice charcuttery boards. Yeah, hey, look, whatever you're doing.

Totally. What am I going to stop you? Thank you so much for coming on and blessing us with your Kim Kardashian cry face jacket and your yellow hair. We really appreciate it. Everyone follow him on Instagram at the fat Jew. And at, what's the wine? The wine is at Drink Babe.

At Drink Babe. Down for it. Thanks for coming on. Miss you, love you. As promised, we have a code for you. Drinkabe.net. You get 20% off the entire site with the code Babe does skinny, all caps. Babe does skinny.

Drinkbabe. Dot net. You guys get the candorose. Get a pixie straw. You will be so happy. Set yourself up with candorose in your fridge. It's so cute. That's drink babe.

dot net 20% off the entire site with the code babe does skinny. And then also wanted to shout out the nurses boxes that the skinny confidential team is doing. We are putting together boxes that are pink. They're full of beauty. They're full of skin. They're full of tons of fun stuff for everyone who is a listener and who is a nurse. So if you are a nurse or you know a nurse that is a listener, please tag them or yourself on my latest Instagram at the Skinny Confidential. This is not a giveaway. This is just something me and my team want to do for a bunch of different nurses. So let us know if you're a nurse. We're going to pick a bunch of people, like I said.

You can expect these boxes to go out, though, in the next two months just because everything that's going on. But the boxes are cute. They're filled with fun stuff. And with that, we will see you on Thursday with a solo episode. I'm doing a five to 10 minute episode by myself all about how I start my day. All right, guys, thanks for listening. And make sure you rate and review the podcast on iTunes.